words in movies
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Ross is cleaning out the fridge. Joey walks from his room. He looks like he just woke up.]
Ross: I...reorganized the fridge. See, bottom shelf: meats and dairy. (Theres nothing on the shelf.) Middle shelf: fruits and vegetables. (Theres one lone tomato.) And top shelf: expired products. (The shelf is jammed packed.)
Ross: Because I am bored...Out of my mind. Ive already been to the bank, post office, and the dry cleaners.
Ross: Hey, I am not unemployed. Im on sabbatical!
Joey: Hey, dont get religious on me, ok. (Ross looks a little confused.) A guy in your position needs to be a little better at relaxing. You know. Why do you think we have the comfortable chairs? Huh...come here sit down. (Ross sits down.) Ready? (Joey flips the foot rest up.) Ahh!! (He reclines the chair fully.) Ohh, yeah!! Huh?!
Ross: So what, we just sit?
Chandler: (Angrily) Alright, whoever this is, stop calling me! (Ross and Joey laugh silently.) Its been six months! Its not funny!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are there. Phoebe walks in ringing a bell.]
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is telling Ross how he didn't get the part.]
Ross: I'm sorry, man. Hey, y'know what you should do? You should make something happen for yourself. Y'know, like-like write a play. Write a movie! Huh? I mean, what about those Good Will Hunting guys?
Joey: Come on Ross be realistic, y'know? If I did write something, what are the chances I could get those guys to star in it?
(Ross just stares at him until he figures it out.)
Ross: Or that.
Ross: I'll help you. Yeah, I'll make up a schedule and make sure you stick to it. And plus, it'll give me something to do.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: (grabbing a notepad and sitting down) All right, we'll start off slow. The only thing you have to do tonight is come up with the name of your main character.
Ross: And it can't be Joey.
Ross: Or Joseph.
Joey: Dont stop! Move the bowl further away! Ross could make that shot!
Joey: Chandler, I can't be playing games, Ross is gonna be home soon. And I have to write five whole pages if I'm gonna stick to his schedule.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is reading what Joey wrote.]
Ross: All right. (Reading.) A room. A man enters, he looks suspicious. (Stops reading a flips the page to find the next one is blank.) That's it? (Joey shrugs.) Joey, you're supposed to have five pages done by now! Including an exciting incident! (Flipping through the rest of the pad.) And what is, and what is all this?! (Reading.) The official rulebook of Fireball.
Ross: This is helping your career?! Huh? I thought you wanted to be an actor not the creator of crazy lawsuit game!
Ross: (To Chandler) And shame on you! You should know better, Joey needs to work. (To Joey) Now come on!
(He tries to fire a burnt tennis ball into the bowl Chandler is standing by, but Ross grabs the ball away from him.)
Ross: No! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! You can have this back when the five pages are done! (After Joey walks past, Ross throws the ball down in pain.) Ahh! (Chandler shows him the burn spots on his oven mitts.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is complaining to Ross and Monica about the bucket.]
Ross: So Pheebs, are you gonna go back out there or what?
Monica and Ross: Sure.
Ross: Oh-oh, yeah.
Ross: Uh, you weighted 200 pounds.
Monica: (laughing with Ross) We don't, we don't wrestle now.
Ross: Yeah, not since I got too strong for you.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Oh fine.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is cleaning the foosball table, Joey is working on his script.]
Ross: Joey's not going.
Ross: Because tomorrow he's redoing yesterday's pages.
Chandler: (To Ross) Why don't you cut him a little slack? Okay? Maybe if he relaxes a little bit, he'll get some work done.
Ross: I think he's been relaxing enough, thanks to you and Fireball.
Ross: I am not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical!
Ross: And the reason I'm doing this is because I am Joey's friend. And if you were a good friend, you'd be doing the same thing.
Ross: If it does? Then you're an amazing friend of mine.
Ross: How about we settle this right now! (He rips up the tickets.) There! Now, no one's going to the game. Ha-ha-ha!
Ross: No you didn't. You said you would, but you never did!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is there as Chandler enters.]
Ross: Hey, if they have a ball maybe you can stick razor blades in it and teach them a new game, Gonna Need Stitches Ball.
Ross: Yay!
Joey: No dude, Ross tore up the tickets!
Ross: I guess when you don't have so many distractions, it's easier for you to focus. Huh?
Ross: All right. (Takes another copy.)
Joey: Okay. (Reading.) "It's a typical New York City apartment. Two guys are hanging out." Ross (Points to him.)
(Ross and Chandler start to read Joey's script aloud.)
Ross: Hey man.
Ross: About yesterday, I was really wrong. I am sorry.
Ross: Maybe it was both of us, but we had our best friend's interest (Pauses and looks at Joey.) But we had our best friend's interest at heart.
Ross: I don't know, I'm one sorry polentologist. (Stops reading.) All right Joey, we get it. (To Chandler) I'm sorry.
Chandler: (To Ross) I'm sorry too.
Ross: (reading from the script.) I am sorry, Chandler.
Chandler: I am sorry, Ross.
Joey: A handsome man enters. (Playing the part of the handsome man.) Hey! How's it going guys? I don't know what you two were talking about, but I'd like to say thanks to both of you. You, (Ross) you wouldn't let me give up on myself, and you (Chandler) well you co-created Fireball. The end.
Joey: I say, 'I am there!' Cool! Aw, is Ross going to?
Ross: Ahhh.
Cailin: Good bye Ross.
ROSS: Look, I know you don't want to hear this right now but, we've seen him in his new place, alright. And he's happy, he's, he's decorated.
Monica: Ross will do it.
Ross: She barely knows me. We just live in the same building.
Ross: You are, you're welling up.
Joey: Yeah, maybe its like y'know, that jock thing. Y'know how football players pat each other after touchdowns. (pats Ross on the butt)
Ross: Yes, and the dimmer switch.
Ross: Oh sure, "Ross will do it!" Its not like he has a job, or a child, or a life of his own.
[Scene: Central perk, Ross is sitting on the chair as Rachel walks in.]
CHANDLER: Can you hold on a moment? I have another call. (to Ross) I love her.
Ross: Uh, I'm not really a shot drinking kinda guy.
Ross: (excited) A Play-Dough Barber Shop?
Ross: (to the guy in the window seat next to him) Hey! Y'know that teacher who had a baby with her student? (He points at Rachel.)
Janice: Here, Ross, take our picture. (Hands him a camera and he starts snapping) Smile! You're on Janice Camera!
RADIO: The next one's dedicated to Rachel from Ross. Rachel, he wants you to know he's deeply sorry for what he did and he hopes you can find it in your heart to forgive him. (With or Without You plays)
Ross: Hi.
Guru Saj: You must be Ross.
Ross: Evidently they do.
Ross: What?! What?!
Ross: Oh God!
Ross: What was, what was that?
Ross: Ow!!
Ross: I guess its worth a try.
Ross: What?! Hows that?
Ross: No-no-no, I-I wanna play.
Ross: Fun? Where was the fun? Tell me specifically, which part was the fun part? Where's my puck?
Ross: Can I see you for a second?
ROSS: [long pause] She's not Rachel.
Ross: Ironically, most of the boxes seem to be labeled clothes.
Ross: (entering) Sorry I'm late, I was stuck at work. There was this big dinosaur.. thing.. anyway.
[Rachel is still cleaning, Ross is laying on the couch. Ross kicks Rachel in the butt.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are getting back from the lecture.]
Ross: Fine! Thank you for warning me. At breakfast Ill be on full alert for room painting and sex weapons.
Ross: Oh, well, when you don't have the cards, you don't have the cards, you know. (looks at Rachel) But, uh... look how happy she is. (smiles)
Ross: What happened?
Rachel: (entering, out of breath) Airport, airport. Ross, not alone, Julie, arm around her. Cramp, cramp.
Ross: Shh! (singing) Here we come, walkin' down the street, get the funniest looks from, everyone we meet. Hey, hey! (to Carol) Hey, uh, did you just feel that?
Ross: Joey! The vet said its a simple procedure.
Ross: (stunned) Dude, what are you doing?
All: Whoa. (they all lean in to get a closer look, Ross isn't pleased)
Chandler: Oh and Ross was like what? A lion tamer?
[Ross approaches Rachel at counter.]
Rachel: Oh, I know. Hey, yknow what we never did? (Ross looks at her.) Oh no, not that. (Ross nods okay.) We uh, we never had bonus night!
Ross: Well maybe she wouldnt have to be selfish in bed if someone else knew where everything was!
Ross: Hey, its my list.
Ross: What, what do you mean, what? Is he gay?
Ross: Okay. (Closes the door.) (To Phoebe) I did divert her and we ended up having a great time! Okay?
Ross: What? No! No, Im not stopping. Im Red Ross!
Ross: Well, then that guy is in serious, serious trouble.
Ross: All right! You go get him! Lets go!
Ross: Thats what you said last night.
Ross: Hot dog?
Ross: Hey! How long until Petes fight?
Ross: Pheebs, I think shes great. Okay? Were going out again.
Ross: No, I-Im saying I liked her.
Ross: You know, I think that�s a good idea�our babysitter just pounded in another Chardonnet. (both get up) Bye, y�guys.
(In slow motion, Phoebe snaps the ball, Rachel goes long. Joey and Chandler and all over Phoebe, leaving Rachel wide open. Ross starts to rush Monica, who sees Phoebe is double covered, in desperation she throws to Rachel. We see flying through the air, and then Rachel running underneath it, then the ball, then Rachel again, then the ball, then Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey staring at it in shock. Then with the grace of Jerry Rice (no offense to Jerry Rice), Rachel catches the ball, and she stops and spikes the ball. Both Phoebe and Monica erupt in celebration.)
Ross: Oh, somebodys feeling better.
Ross: Oh I a lot of stuff!
(We see Ross and Bonnie laughing and having a good time.)
Joey: (startled) Yeah, okay but look, buy uhHey-hey, yknow, yknow who else I like? You! And it-it doesnt get said enough. I like you Ross.
ROSS: Well, why're you all dressed up?
ROSS: No, no, let me finish.
ROSS: Check it out, he actually is the MonkeyShine monkey.
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is setting up for his time with Marcel. Joey is there.]
Rachel: (all excited) Op, op, car! Car!! (sees its Ross) Ugh!!!
Ross: Thats too bad.
Rachel: Ross, I said I'm sorry like a million times. What do you want me to do? You want me to break my foot too? Okay, I'm gonna break my foot, right here. (Kicks the sign) Ow!! Oh! Oh my God, oh my God! There, are you happy now?!
ROSS: I don't know.
Ross: Go, go, go!
(Ross enters and he's really angry. He goes towards Chandler who's sitting at the counter)
(Ross suddenly gets up and heads for the bathroom.)
Ross: Yeah, ooh yeah, I think there is one from batch 17 left, uh (Grabs a cookie and takes a big bite out of it and doesnt like it.) Its batch 16! 16 people! Get out of the way! (Gets up and runs for the bathroom.)
Ross: Get away!
Rachel: Take it like a man, Ross!
ROSS: Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing, ya know, giving him away.
Ross: Stay away!
Ross: Ow! Ow! Oh, no-no-no!
Ross: Hey!
ROSS: What, woah, woah, $3500 at porcelain safari?
Ross: Oh-oh, guess what? I-I have a date with Elizabeth (Talking into Chandler's ear.) Hornswoggle.
[cut to a montage of scenes involving Bonnie, Ross, and Rachel from the last episode.]
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Thats right good things, that-that is what I said. (glances at Monica)
Ross: Well, I don't know what else to do. I mean, I either keep my wife and lose one of my-my-my best friends or I keep my friend and get divorced the second time before I'm 30! So-so if anyone has-has a better suggestion, let's hear it! 'Cause I-I got nothing! All right, don't be shy, any suggestion will do. (There are none.) Okay then. Here we go. Magic 8 Ball, should I never see Rachel again? (He turns it over and reads the answer) Ask again later. Later is not good enough. (He shakes it up again and reads the answer.) Ask again later. What the hell! This is broken! It-it is broken!
Ross: Oh.
Ross: Well, hes finally alseep. About that ah, bump on his head?
Ross: Hey! (Rachel is shocked) Hi Bonnie!
Ross: (looking at ticket) Yep! Yeah, see this says D-13, and uh
Chandler: Okay, well Im gonna get Ross, get the cameras, and get them developed. (Joey laughs again.) 32 Joe. Youre 32! (Exits)
Ross: Good morning.
Ross: Oh hey, dont thank me, thank yourself. Youre the one who faced her fears and ultimately overcame them.
Ross: Nah ah! Nah ah! (stops him form doing so) No no no! No ad-libbing and dude, you can't touch the paintings.
Ross: Hi.
Chandler: Yknow that thing that Ross was gonna do at our wedding?! He was hanging out with me yesterday and he turned to me and said, "Youre half Scottish right?"
Ross: Im sorry Im late, did I miss anything?
Ross: You still love me?
Ross: What?