words in movies
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Ross is cleaning out the fridge. Joey walks from his room. He looks like he just woke up.]
Ross: I...reorganized the fridge. See, bottom shelf: meats and dairy. (Theres nothing on the shelf.) Middle shelf: fruits and vegetables. (Theres one lone tomato.) And top shelf: expired products. (The shelf is jammed packed.)
Ross: Because I am bored...Out of my mind. Ive already been to the bank, post office, and the dry cleaners.
Ross: Hey, I am not unemployed. Im on sabbatical!
Joey: Hey, dont get religious on me, ok. (Ross looks a little confused.) A guy in your position needs to be a little better at relaxing. You know. Why do you think we have the comfortable chairs? Huh...come here sit down. (Ross sits down.) Ready? (Joey flips the foot rest up.) Ahh!! (He reclines the chair fully.) Ohh, yeah!! Huh?!
Ross: So what, we just sit?
Chandler: (Angrily) Alright, whoever this is, stop calling me! (Ross and Joey laugh silently.) Its been six months! Its not funny!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are there. Phoebe walks in ringing a bell.]
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is telling Ross how he didn't get the part.]
Ross: I'm sorry, man. Hey, y'know what you should do? You should make something happen for yourself. Y'know, like-like write a play. Write a movie! Huh? I mean, what about those Good Will Hunting guys?
Joey: Come on Ross be realistic, y'know? If I did write something, what are the chances I could get those guys to star in it?
(Ross just stares at him until he figures it out.)
Ross: Or that.
Ross: I'll help you. Yeah, I'll make up a schedule and make sure you stick to it. And plus, it'll give me something to do.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: (grabbing a notepad and sitting down) All right, we'll start off slow. The only thing you have to do tonight is come up with the name of your main character.
Ross: And it can't be Joey.
Ross: Or Joseph.
Joey: Dont stop! Move the bowl further away! Ross could make that shot!
Joey: Chandler, I can't be playing games, Ross is gonna be home soon. And I have to write five whole pages if I'm gonna stick to his schedule.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is reading what Joey wrote.]
Ross: All right. (Reading.) A room. A man enters, he looks suspicious. (Stops reading a flips the page to find the next one is blank.) That's it? (Joey shrugs.) Joey, you're supposed to have five pages done by now! Including an exciting incident! (Flipping through the rest of the pad.) And what is, and what is all this?! (Reading.) The official rulebook of Fireball.
Ross: This is helping your career?! Huh? I thought you wanted to be an actor not the creator of crazy lawsuit game!
Ross: (To Chandler) And shame on you! You should know better, Joey needs to work. (To Joey) Now come on!
(He tries to fire a burnt tennis ball into the bowl Chandler is standing by, but Ross grabs the ball away from him.)
Ross: No! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! You can have this back when the five pages are done! (After Joey walks past, Ross throws the ball down in pain.) Ahh! (Chandler shows him the burn spots on his oven mitts.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is complaining to Ross and Monica about the bucket.]
Ross: So Pheebs, are you gonna go back out there or what?
Monica and Ross: Sure.
Ross: Oh-oh, yeah.
Ross: Uh, you weighted 200 pounds.
Monica: (laughing with Ross) We don't, we don't wrestle now.
Ross: Yeah, not since I got too strong for you.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Oh fine.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is cleaning the foosball table, Joey is working on his script.]
Ross: Joey's not going.
Ross: Because tomorrow he's redoing yesterday's pages.
Chandler: (To Ross) Why don't you cut him a little slack? Okay? Maybe if he relaxes a little bit, he'll get some work done.
Ross: I think he's been relaxing enough, thanks to you and Fireball.
Ross: I am not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical!
Ross: And the reason I'm doing this is because I am Joey's friend. And if you were a good friend, you'd be doing the same thing.
Ross: If it does? Then you're an amazing friend of mine.
Ross: How about we settle this right now! (He rips up the tickets.) There! Now, no one's going to the game. Ha-ha-ha!
Ross: No you didn't. You said you would, but you never did!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is there as Chandler enters.]
Ross: Hey, if they have a ball maybe you can stick razor blades in it and teach them a new game, Gonna Need Stitches Ball.
Ross: Yay!
Joey: No dude, Ross tore up the tickets!
Ross: I guess when you don't have so many distractions, it's easier for you to focus. Huh?
Ross: All right. (Takes another copy.)
Joey: Okay. (Reading.) "It's a typical New York City apartment. Two guys are hanging out." Ross (Points to him.)
(Ross and Chandler start to read Joey's script aloud.)
Ross: Hey man.
Ross: About yesterday, I was really wrong. I am sorry.
Ross: Maybe it was both of us, but we had our best friend's interest (Pauses and looks at Joey.) But we had our best friend's interest at heart.
Ross: I don't know, I'm one sorry polentologist. (Stops reading.) All right Joey, we get it. (To Chandler) I'm sorry.
Chandler: (To Ross) I'm sorry too.
Ross: (reading from the script.) I am sorry, Chandler.
Chandler: I am sorry, Ross.
Joey: A handsome man enters. (Playing the part of the handsome man.) Hey! How's it going guys? I don't know what you two were talking about, but I'd like to say thanks to both of you. You, (Ross) you wouldn't let me give up on myself, and you (Chandler) well you co-created Fireball. The end.
Ross: I assume we're looking for an answer more sophisticated than 'to get you into bed'.
Ross: Then I'm happy too. (They're still hugging - fade out)
Ross: We have 8:00 reservations at Grammercy Bistero.
Ross: (annoyed) um... I've never heard of a "Boscodictiasaur".
[Scene: The hallway between the two apartments, Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are coming up the stairs.]
Ross: That ring? When my grandmother first came to this country, that ring and the clothes on her back were all she had with her.
Ross: There's no way around it Pheebs, you just gonna have to accept the fact that this is gonna cost you a lot of money.
Ross: (happily) My best friend and my sister! I cannot believe this. (He hugs them both.) (To Joey and Rachel) You guys probably wanna get some hugs in too, huh? Big news!
Ross: Oh, Rach...oh..."gleba" is not a word.
[Scene: the bar, Ross is entering, Phoebe is at the bar, they are the only two in the place.]
Ross: Just a smidge.
Ross: Anyway, she thought the very idea of me playing rugby with him was like hilarious. So Im gonna show her how tough I really am!
Ross: Baking it didn't help, huh?
(Ross continues south and his now wrapped around Joeys legs.)
Ross: I bet someone could use one of Monica's freshly baked cookies.
Ross: Right, um, but, on Hanukkah, Hanukkah is a celebration of a miracle. See, years and years ago there were these people called the Maccabees.
Joey: Oh come on Ross! Hey Ross-Ross dont
(Ross, inside the door, releases a sign of relief.� Back in the hall, Mike's cell phone rings.)
Ross: Oh! (She kisses him) Ah. (They kiss more, and move down onto the couch. Ross's hand moves under some garbage) Aw! (His hand is covered with something brown and gooey.)
Ross: Oh thats right. Well uh, would you be interested in seeing a Ukrainian film?
Ross: Not her. Yeah, this is someone else I meet, and I-I cant decide between the two of them. Yknow the one from Poughkeepsie, even though shes a two hour train ride away, is really pretty, really smart, and-and a lot of fun. But this other girl, well, she lives right uptown. Yknow shes, well shes-shes just as pretty, I guess shes smart, shes not fun.
Ross: Yep. (Phoebe slams the door shut.) Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Elizabeth are deciding what to do on their second date.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Monica are watching Phoebe sleep.]
Phoebe: Yeah, no kidding, this just proves no good can come from having sex with Ross!
Ross: I have no idea. No matter what I do, though, I'm still gonna be a father.
Ross: Yknow what? I-I-I I-I have had enough of this! Yknow, I-I-I care a great deal about your daughter and I have treated her with nothing but respect! So if-if youve got a problem with me, frankly
[Scene: A hospital, Phoebe is recovering from her heart attack as Ross, Monica, and Chandler are there to comfort and support her.]
Ross: Hi. (He is wearing a piece of steel bandaged to his nose. He tosses some forms onto reception desk.)
Ross: Thanks. Yeah, Carol borrowed it for a class, and I have to get it back to the museum.
Ross: I think, sub-consciously
Ross: No, no, no, I'm sure you have a great excuse, wh-was it a hair appointment, a mani-pedi or was there a sale at Barney's?
Ross: Sure! Oh, and Joeys got the mashed potatoes if you want to exchange them.
[Scene: Rosss birthday, Joey is now trying to get his car out while Ross is directing him.]
Ross: Yknow of-officer I uh I had the weirdest dream last night
Ross: Hey, yknow what nickname never caught on? The Ross-A-Tron! (Monica shakes her head in disgust.)
Ross: Yeah, tell me about it. (He stands up, turns his back to Joey, and enjoys another sip.)
Ross: (grabbing the necklace) The necklace I got you was gold, this one is silver.
Rachel: Im just bummed about the way I left things with Ross. I shouldnt have lied to him about having to work. He seemed so mad at me.
Ross: Hey, itll grow back, right? And she-shes really fun, and shes cool, and-and Im finally moving on. Y'know? I mean getting over Rachel was so (makes an incoherent nasal sound), y'know? Y'know, and Im finally feeling sane again. And now if I go up there, and-and I kiss her, and, Gooood I wanna kiss her, and-and-and it doesnt work out, right? Do I really wanna put myself through that again?
Ross: Hey, what took you guys so long? Your cab left when ours did!
Chandler: It's, all good! Okay bye-bye Mon! (To Ross) She's-she's gonna kill me.
Ross: (closes the door) Did you umIm sorry, did you just say its Rachel?
[Scene: The Library, Ross enters and heads to the desk to talk to the male librarian on duty.]
Ross: (To Monica) Okay, I know Im not supposed to know, but I do. And Im so excited for you!
Ross: Hey! All that stuff you said about true love, you were right, I mean, we did learn a lot from Mom and Dad! And that picture of Chi-Chi with her mischievous grin. And what you said about Nana. Ohh, yeah she really wouldve wanted to be there. And you know what? I think she was.
Ross: Well, ahem... you know, by the time we'd finished with all the dirty talk, it was kinda late... and we were both kind of exhausted, so uh...
Ross: Everyday I am gonna do one thing that I haven't done before. That my friends is my New Year's resolution.
Ross: I did give up a career in basketball to become a paleontologist!
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is trying to close the door on Ross.]
Ross: Hey, when the music starts up again, I was thinking of maybe goind into the robot, yknow? (He mimics a robot)
Ross: (innocently) What?
Ross: Mmm-Hmm. (Picking up their wine glasses.)
Rachel: Well, yeah, yknow how Ross and I were on again, off again, on again, off again? I guess I just figured that somewhere down the road, we would be on again.
ROSS: [childishly] OK. OK, this is a picture frame from Ben to my parents, huh.
[Scene: Delmonico's. Ross is still waiting for his date and drinking wine. The waiter comes up to him again.]
Ross: Why dont you come, I mean, I-I have two tickets, why not?
Joey: (pointing to the TV) Okay, Ross, look-look-look-look, look right here. Thats called a scrum, okay? Its kinda like a huddle.
(Rachel kisses him, and goes upstairs. After shes gone, Ross frantically tries to find and read the Does it? part.)
Monica: (fingering her elbow): Ross?
Ross: (stares at her briefly) Okay, why are you here?
Monica: Oh, she was a cruel, cranky, old bitch! (Ross gives her a look) (to Ross) And Im sorry she died. Did Dad say I get the dollhouse?
Rachel: Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight over and over again, Ross, no, youre, youre, youre making this too hard.
(they both run off, leaving Ross, Phoebe and Rachel stunned.)
Ross: Yeah, I really do. Yeah, but what am I gonna do, I mean we-we both agreed that it was gonna be a two-week thing, yknow no commitment.
Joey: Guys, do you think we should ask Ross to come along?
[Scene: A hallway, Ross is selling Brown Bird cookies for Sarah, he stops and knocks on a door.]
ROSS: Hey, we can rescedule for Saturday.
Ross: she came and dragged me out of the labor room to ask me why Im not with Rachel.
Monica: (lying on the couch suffering from her cold) Ross isn't here.
Ross: Don't make jokes now.
Ross: With the circus? He's behind the elephant.
Ross: (nonchalantly) I'm never gonna find love again.
(Two girls sitting at a table next to them look up in disgust, and Ross and Joey move away)
Monica: I know what you need, you need a bodyguard. Hey Ross, what is Ben doing after preschool?
Monica: Relax, Ross. She's not made of ice cream!
Ross: How do you think it's gonna look when you get her something incredibly meaningful and expensive and her boyfriend Joey gives her an orange?
Ross: Well sure. But I get married all the time so
(Joey moves close to Ross and whispers something in his ear)
Ross: Oh no, no, no, wait, wait, Isabella. Dont, dont just dismiss this so fast. I mean this is a once in a lifetime opportunity...
Rachel: Okay. So these signals Ross, explain this to me, cause maybe I need to be more careful. I mean, am I sending you these signals right now?
Ross: Oh, on a date. Yeah, I met this girl on the train going to a museum upstate.
Ross: Rach, I promise first thing tomorrow we'll find another doctor, but I gotta get up early and I'm not feeling all that well.
Joey: Yeah! I was thinking about maybe going upstairs and taking a little nap on my couch. (Raises his eyebrows, questioning Ross to see if he wants to join him.)
[Scene: Dr. Longs Office, Ross and Rachel are waiting for the doctor. Ross is drumming his fingers on the bed.]
Ross: God that is the most beautiful engagement ring ever!
Ross: Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, but then the coffee table won't be centered in the seating area.
[Scene: The playground. Ross put Emma on the swing and they’re ready to play]
Ross: What kind of job is that for a man? A nanny? I-It's like if a woman wanted to be...
Ross: Look, this is just a little too familiar, okay? For like, for like six months before Carol and I spilt up, all I heard was: "My friend Susan is so smart. My friend Susan is so funny. My friend Susan is so great."
Monica: Well, Rachel wants to take swing dance lessons. Which I think is a really stupid idea! It's dangerous, she's never gonna get what she wants, and who knows who she might (Turns to look at Ross) end up hurting.
Ross: Youre weird today. (He turns to Rachel and Joey puts the ring back.) (To Rachel) Listen I uh, wanted to talk to you about something.
Monica: Ross, cough drops, please?
Ross: Yeah, we kissed, but... nothing else... nothing else happened, okay.
Ross: Oh good, you scared me for a minute.
Ross: Oh, well he's obviously late and the rule in my class is "if you can't come on time, then don't come at all". (pause) An option that many of my students use. (pause) Shall we?
[Scene, Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Ross is checking his messages.]
Joey: Nope. (To Ross) Man look at this! Ross, I cant believe you said youd play rugby. I mean look how brutal this is!
Ross: Yes, but also (Pauses to let Ben answer, but he doesnt.) Hanukkah! See, you're part Jewish, and-and Hanukkah is a Jewish holiday.
Phoebe: Aw, God Ross. Oh.(goes over and hugs him)