words in movies
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Ross is cleaning out the fridge. Joey walks from his room. He looks like he just woke up.]
Ross: I...reorganized the fridge. See, bottom shelf: meats and dairy. (Theres nothing on the shelf.) Middle shelf: fruits and vegetables. (Theres one lone tomato.) And top shelf: expired products. (The shelf is jammed packed.)
Ross: Because I am bored...Out of my mind. Ive already been to the bank, post office, and the dry cleaners.
Ross: Hey, I am not unemployed. Im on sabbatical!
Joey: Hey, dont get religious on me, ok. (Ross looks a little confused.) A guy in your position needs to be a little better at relaxing. You know. Why do you think we have the comfortable chairs? Huh...come here sit down. (Ross sits down.) Ready? (Joey flips the foot rest up.) Ahh!! (He reclines the chair fully.) Ohh, yeah!! Huh?!
Ross: So what, we just sit?
Chandler: (Angrily) Alright, whoever this is, stop calling me! (Ross and Joey laugh silently.) Its been six months! Its not funny!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are there. Phoebe walks in ringing a bell.]
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is telling Ross how he didn't get the part.]
Ross: I'm sorry, man. Hey, y'know what you should do? You should make something happen for yourself. Y'know, like-like write a play. Write a movie! Huh? I mean, what about those Good Will Hunting guys?
Joey: Come on Ross be realistic, y'know? If I did write something, what are the chances I could get those guys to star in it?
(Ross just stares at him until he figures it out.)
Ross: Or that.
Ross: I'll help you. Yeah, I'll make up a schedule and make sure you stick to it. And plus, it'll give me something to do.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: (grabbing a notepad and sitting down) All right, we'll start off slow. The only thing you have to do tonight is come up with the name of your main character.
Ross: And it can't be Joey.
Ross: Or Joseph.
Joey: Dont stop! Move the bowl further away! Ross could make that shot!
Joey: Chandler, I can't be playing games, Ross is gonna be home soon. And I have to write five whole pages if I'm gonna stick to his schedule.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is reading what Joey wrote.]
Ross: All right. (Reading.) A room. A man enters, he looks suspicious. (Stops reading a flips the page to find the next one is blank.) That's it? (Joey shrugs.) Joey, you're supposed to have five pages done by now! Including an exciting incident! (Flipping through the rest of the pad.) And what is, and what is all this?! (Reading.) The official rulebook of Fireball.
Ross: This is helping your career?! Huh? I thought you wanted to be an actor not the creator of crazy lawsuit game!
Ross: (To Chandler) And shame on you! You should know better, Joey needs to work. (To Joey) Now come on!
(He tries to fire a burnt tennis ball into the bowl Chandler is standing by, but Ross grabs the ball away from him.)
Ross: No! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! You can have this back when the five pages are done! (After Joey walks past, Ross throws the ball down in pain.) Ahh! (Chandler shows him the burn spots on his oven mitts.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is complaining to Ross and Monica about the bucket.]
Ross: So Pheebs, are you gonna go back out there or what?
Monica and Ross: Sure.
Ross: Oh-oh, yeah.
Ross: Uh, you weighted 200 pounds.
Monica: (laughing with Ross) We don't, we don't wrestle now.
Ross: Yeah, not since I got too strong for you.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Oh fine.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is cleaning the foosball table, Joey is working on his script.]
Ross: Joey's not going.
Ross: Because tomorrow he's redoing yesterday's pages.
Chandler: (To Ross) Why don't you cut him a little slack? Okay? Maybe if he relaxes a little bit, he'll get some work done.
Ross: I think he's been relaxing enough, thanks to you and Fireball.
Ross: I am not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical!
Ross: And the reason I'm doing this is because I am Joey's friend. And if you were a good friend, you'd be doing the same thing.
Ross: If it does? Then you're an amazing friend of mine.
Ross: How about we settle this right now! (He rips up the tickets.) There! Now, no one's going to the game. Ha-ha-ha!
Ross: No you didn't. You said you would, but you never did!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is there as Chandler enters.]
Ross: Hey, if they have a ball maybe you can stick razor blades in it and teach them a new game, Gonna Need Stitches Ball.
Ross: Yay!
Joey: No dude, Ross tore up the tickets!
Ross: I guess when you don't have so many distractions, it's easier for you to focus. Huh?
Ross: All right. (Takes another copy.)
Joey: Okay. (Reading.) "It's a typical New York City apartment. Two guys are hanging out." Ross (Points to him.)
(Ross and Chandler start to read Joey's script aloud.)
Ross: Hey man.
Ross: About yesterday, I was really wrong. I am sorry.
Ross: Maybe it was both of us, but we had our best friend's interest (Pauses and looks at Joey.) But we had our best friend's interest at heart.
Ross: I don't know, I'm one sorry polentologist. (Stops reading.) All right Joey, we get it. (To Chandler) I'm sorry.
Chandler: (To Ross) I'm sorry too.
Ross: (reading from the script.) I am sorry, Chandler.
Chandler: I am sorry, Ross.
Joey: A handsome man enters. (Playing the part of the handsome man.) Hey! How's it going guys? I don't know what you two were talking about, but I'd like to say thanks to both of you. You, (Ross) you wouldn't let me give up on myself, and you (Chandler) well you co-created Fireball. The end.
Ross: Maybe that will liven up this party.
Ross: Youve seen it, the Geller Yeller.
Ross: Okay, Im going to start climb down you now.
Ross: (sarcastic) Oh! Oh-oh, the bands ready! Well, I-I-we gotta do what the band saysI dont care about the stupid band!!
Ross: Phoebe!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is getting advice from Ross and Joey.]
ROSS: I was doing great with Julie before I found out about you.
Ross: Right.
Ross: And smart!
Ross: Really? Me too!
Ross: That sounds fair.
Ross: All right.
Ross: Fine, you go.
Ross: Huh.
Ross: Veto.
Ross: Crack isnt even an intravenous drug!
Rachel: Ross, why do you hate our child?
Ross: (walking up with this huge tub-o-popcorn and drink) Hey!
Ross: Uh, no. No, were not.
Ross: No, no, we want to wait, right?
Ross: What? Rach! Come on, thats terrible! Theyre uh theyre babies. Theyre-theyre all beautiful.
Ross: I saw you!
Ross: Youre looking!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey is there. Rachel is looking out of the window and Ross is handing out some Chinese takeout. There's a small SAP in the corner of the screen.]
Ross: Hey.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, and Ross are holding the giant poking device.]
Ross: Not like this!
Ross: Veto.
Ross: Oh hey, show them the picture of your uterus.
RACH: Alright, I got it Ross.
Ross: That's so Janine, you-you-you know what, do you know we're doing right now? You and I, we're interfacing.
Ross: Thats right. The student has become the master.
Ross: Look, Im sorry but you-you-you better go Pheebs.
Ross: You really didnt know?
Ross: No.
Ross: Yes. Im Im sorry. Im so sorry.
Ross: No.
Ross: Permission to veto.
Ross: (from outside the bathroom) Hello?
Ross: Well In-in case of emergency.
Monica: I dont know! Time to kiss a guy maybe?! (Ross laughs.) What are you laughing at Pampers? (He stops laughing and glares at her.)
Ross: The one that always stares at me when I come in?
[Scene: The Recovery Room, Ross is taking pictures of Rachel holding the baby as the rest of the gang enters.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Ross, Monica, and now Chandler are still playing catch. The guys are exhausted and sitting around the room. Monica is still standing all pumped up and being hyper-competitive yet again. {Okay! We get it! She's competitive!! Must we see all the time?!}]
Ross: (not paying attention) Yeah, they dont like you.
Ross: No, wait ! You guys, no, no, you can't leave! Rachel already feels bad that the cake's messed up. How do you think she's gonna feel when she comes back here and all you guys are gone?
Ross: A lot of people are thankful for those. < knock on door>
[Cut to Ross in one of those British phone booths.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Rachel are there as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Hello! I'm in the front seat, okay? I'm Gary's partner!
Joey: Hey Ross! The babys kicking!
ROSS: Well because I have to work on Monday, I have a big presentation.
Ross: I was talking to myself! Youre going down!
Ross and Rachel while looking at each other surprised and shocked: Jill?
Rachel: Ross, I'm telling you, she's giving up getting her eyebrows (points at her own to emphasize the word) shaped to do this alright? Do you understand how important that is in our world?
Ross: No! For all I know, shes trying to find me but couldnt because I kept moving around. No, from now on, Im staying in one place. (He sits down on the bed.) Right here.
[Scene: The museums worker cafeteria, Joey is eating lunch with the rest of the tour guides. Another tour guide tries to sit down in a seat Joey saved for Ross.]
Ross: What? Why? Whats wrong?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are talking to Frank.]
Ross: (rushes in) Is everything okay?
Ross: No IMona!
Joey: (seeing Ross) Oh hey-hey!
Ross: No really, you tell me whats up.
Ross: (To Joey) So, thanks so much for bringing her to the hospital.
Ross: Not for the next few minutes.
<Ross goes into Rachel's room>
Ross: Hey where-where are the pictures that creepy pretzel vendor took of us together?
Ross: Hi. I understand you had a little talk with Emily.
Ross: Well yeah!
Ross: What?! What?! Rach what?!
Ross: Hey uh, I brought you some lunch.
Rachel: Oh Ross!! (Runs to the bathroom and closes the door.)
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: My dad wanted to know if you wanted to play racquetball with us.
Ross: Baby got back (Then Ross turns around and sees their friends standing in the doorway)
Ross: Really?
Monica: Well actually, Ross doesn't.
Phoebe: Ross, please! My make-up! (He walks away angrily.)
Rachel: Ross, please, this is a hospital, ok? That actually means something here.
Ross: You know, Barracuda was the first song I learned to play on the keyboard.
Ross: Uh, Im going to take off.
Ross: What is it?
Ross: Hey, whats behind your back?
Ross: I think Chandlers gone. (He hands her the note.)
Ross: You dont want my opinion?
Ross: (quietly) The red one.
Ross: I whitened them.
Rachel: Look, I am so so happy for you guys, but you getting married just reminds me of the fact that Im not. Im not even close. And I dont know, maybe I just wanted to make myself feel better. And I know that thats dumb, but oh my God you were so depressed when Ross got married that you slept with Chandler!
Ross: Hey. We-we look we look pretty good.
Ross: Who needs a lease when it's family!
Ross: Veto. Helen?
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Well I dont know umm, (Pause) what if we were too tie each other up? (Carols shocked and obviously doesnt like that idea.) Umm, some people eat stuff off one another. (Carol doesnt like that idea either.) Nah! Umm, yknow we-we could try dirty talk? (Carol still says no.) Umm, we could, we could have a threesome.
Ross: (grabbing the car) Okay! Okay! Okay! (He gets in, but into the back seat.)
Ross: I do too! I missed you!
Ross: Hey! (they hug) So, how was Atlantic City?
Ross: That does make sense. Because I do wanna seize some opportunity, but I-I really don't wanna see or talk to her.
Ross: What?
Ross: (not amused) Huh uh-huh.