words in movies
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Ross is cleaning out the fridge. Joey walks from his room. He looks like he just woke up.]
Ross: I...reorganized the fridge. See, bottom shelf: meats and dairy. (Theres nothing on the shelf.) Middle shelf: fruits and vegetables. (Theres one lone tomato.) And top shelf: expired products. (The shelf is jammed packed.)
Ross: Because I am bored...Out of my mind. Ive already been to the bank, post office, and the dry cleaners.
Ross: Hey, I am not unemployed. Im on sabbatical!
Joey: Hey, dont get religious on me, ok. (Ross looks a little confused.) A guy in your position needs to be a little better at relaxing. You know. Why do you think we have the comfortable chairs? Huh...come here sit down. (Ross sits down.) Ready? (Joey flips the foot rest up.) Ahh!! (He reclines the chair fully.) Ohh, yeah!! Huh?!
Ross: So what, we just sit?
Chandler: (Angrily) Alright, whoever this is, stop calling me! (Ross and Joey laugh silently.) Its been six months! Its not funny!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are there. Phoebe walks in ringing a bell.]
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is telling Ross how he didn't get the part.]
Ross: I'm sorry, man. Hey, y'know what you should do? You should make something happen for yourself. Y'know, like-like write a play. Write a movie! Huh? I mean, what about those Good Will Hunting guys?
Joey: Come on Ross be realistic, y'know? If I did write something, what are the chances I could get those guys to star in it?
(Ross just stares at him until he figures it out.)
Ross: Or that.
Ross: I'll help you. Yeah, I'll make up a schedule and make sure you stick to it. And plus, it'll give me something to do.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: (grabbing a notepad and sitting down) All right, we'll start off slow. The only thing you have to do tonight is come up with the name of your main character.
Ross: And it can't be Joey.
Ross: Or Joseph.
Joey: Dont stop! Move the bowl further away! Ross could make that shot!
Joey: Chandler, I can't be playing games, Ross is gonna be home soon. And I have to write five whole pages if I'm gonna stick to his schedule.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is reading what Joey wrote.]
Ross: All right. (Reading.) A room. A man enters, he looks suspicious. (Stops reading a flips the page to find the next one is blank.) That's it? (Joey shrugs.) Joey, you're supposed to have five pages done by now! Including an exciting incident! (Flipping through the rest of the pad.) And what is, and what is all this?! (Reading.) The official rulebook of Fireball.
Ross: This is helping your career?! Huh? I thought you wanted to be an actor not the creator of crazy lawsuit game!
Ross: (To Chandler) And shame on you! You should know better, Joey needs to work. (To Joey) Now come on!
(He tries to fire a burnt tennis ball into the bowl Chandler is standing by, but Ross grabs the ball away from him.)
Ross: No! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! You can have this back when the five pages are done! (After Joey walks past, Ross throws the ball down in pain.) Ahh! (Chandler shows him the burn spots on his oven mitts.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is complaining to Ross and Monica about the bucket.]
Ross: So Pheebs, are you gonna go back out there or what?
Monica and Ross: Sure.
Ross: Oh-oh, yeah.
Ross: Uh, you weighted 200 pounds.
Monica: (laughing with Ross) We don't, we don't wrestle now.
Ross: Yeah, not since I got too strong for you.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Oh fine.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is cleaning the foosball table, Joey is working on his script.]
Ross: Joey's not going.
Ross: Because tomorrow he's redoing yesterday's pages.
Chandler: (To Ross) Why don't you cut him a little slack? Okay? Maybe if he relaxes a little bit, he'll get some work done.
Ross: I think he's been relaxing enough, thanks to you and Fireball.
Ross: I am not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical!
Ross: And the reason I'm doing this is because I am Joey's friend. And if you were a good friend, you'd be doing the same thing.
Ross: If it does? Then you're an amazing friend of mine.
Ross: How about we settle this right now! (He rips up the tickets.) There! Now, no one's going to the game. Ha-ha-ha!
Ross: No you didn't. You said you would, but you never did!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is there as Chandler enters.]
Ross: Hey, if they have a ball maybe you can stick razor blades in it and teach them a new game, Gonna Need Stitches Ball.
Ross: Yay!
Joey: No dude, Ross tore up the tickets!
Ross: I guess when you don't have so many distractions, it's easier for you to focus. Huh?
Ross: All right. (Takes another copy.)
Joey: Okay. (Reading.) "It's a typical New York City apartment. Two guys are hanging out." Ross (Points to him.)
(Ross and Chandler start to read Joey's script aloud.)
Ross: Hey man.
Ross: About yesterday, I was really wrong. I am sorry.
Ross: Maybe it was both of us, but we had our best friend's interest (Pauses and looks at Joey.) But we had our best friend's interest at heart.
Ross: I don't know, I'm one sorry polentologist. (Stops reading.) All right Joey, we get it. (To Chandler) I'm sorry.
Chandler: (To Ross) I'm sorry too.
Ross: (reading from the script.) I am sorry, Chandler.
Chandler: I am sorry, Ross.
Joey: A handsome man enters. (Playing the part of the handsome man.) Hey! How's it going guys? I don't know what you two were talking about, but I'd like to say thanks to both of you. You, (Ross) you wouldn't let me give up on myself, and you (Chandler) well you co-created Fireball. The end.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: No, Ive looked everywhere!
Ross: Awww, man! Really?
Ross: I guess so.
Ross: Anyway, if she, if she wasnt in to me, why-why would she ask me out again?
Ross: Nooo!! Gandolf?! Gandolf is coming to town?
Rachel: Ross thanks.
Ross: You want me to call her right now?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler enter.]
Ross: I mean after tomorrow night.
(Camera pans to Ross, looking dejected)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are playing phone pranks on Ross.]
ROSS: Uh, hold, let me see, I don't know. So what're you gonna do. . . [doorbell rings]
Ross: This is not good for my rage. (Takes another pill.)
Ross: Look, you'll get there. You're an amazing chef.
Ross: Hey! Uh, Phoebes not here is she?
(Joey and Ross enter.)
Ross: That is precious! Listen! I need Rachel's flight information.
(Rachel starts to laugh, and Ross notices her.)
Ross: It's, uh... it's endearing, really.
Ross: Yeah! Good for you Joe!
Ross: The wheel has not been my friend tonight Joey. Uh, Ill take another question.
[Ross glares at Monica.]
Janice: Oh! Okay! (To Ross) You, Mister Right Place at the Right Time, call me! (Does her famous, or is that infamous, laugh and exits.)
Ross: The only thing I understand is; postponing it is not an option. This is when were getting married.
Joey: Dude, if you go back out there, youre gonna be Dead Ross!
Ross: What?
Ross: Okay, here we go! Emma's first birthday cake... Well hey... well, blow out the candle. Come on Emma.
Ross: You understand I don't actually like 8-year-old boys.
Ross: Wow! Really?!
Ross: Okay, umm
Ross: Ohh!
Jill: Oh great! Thanks Ross, youre such a good friend!
[Scene: The airport, Elizabeths flight is about to leave and Ross is there to send her off.]
Ross: (answering it) Hello?
Ross: (To Carol) No tongue. (And gives her the thumbs up.)
Ross: (To Rachel) You uh, you may have been right about Jill.
Ross: Okay, okay! Im going. Im going. (goes across the hall to knock on another door.)
Ross: Umm, she kissed me.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers new apartment, Ross and Chandler are there.]
(Ross throws a punch, but Joey ducks and Ross punches the pole. Ross then screams from the pain and turns to Gunther, and Gunther has a huge smile on his face.)
[Scene: The beach house, Rachels bedroom. She is finishing up writing something as Ross walks through the door.]
Ross: You take care Jill.
Ross: Sure. (He opens the door to Joey. Needless to say, Joey's stunned.) Joey
Ross: Oh my God. It's like Sophie's Choice.
Joey: (To Ross) What is the matter with you?!
Ross: No, I just think Monica was that fat.
Rachel: Ross said my name up there, I mean, come on, I just cant pretend that didnt happen can I?
Ross: What?!
Ross: And hes, hes a total stranger?
Ross: Im gonna call after you!
Ross: Yeah. Right.
Ross: Good-good, Im-Im married. (Shows her his ring.)
Ross: No, no-no, Ross Geller.
Ross: Come on! (They start to leave.)
Ross: No-no. Its-its me, Ross!
Ross: Im trying. (He strains to move his feet.)
Chandler: Yes, and we call Ross Lingers In The Bathroom.
Ross: Gimme this. (Grabs the herbalists card and leaves.)
Phoebe: Well at least I got these sheets for Ross.
Chandler: Well, bye Mon, bye Ross, Rachel, bye Emma!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is entering numbers on a calculator as Ross reads off how much hes sold.]
Ross: Hey Mon!
Ross: Are you angry at me because I said your handwriting is childlike?
(She hangs up as Ross and Rachel enter.)
Ross: And, and uh, you-you remember my friend Chandler. (Points to him.)
Ross: Mon, look who I ran into! (Gestures towards Rachel.)
Ross: And thats Phoebe over there! (Points to her.)
Ross: Okay, well, well call the company that sent her!
Ross: Susan wanted a Chunky. We're having a baby, ok, a baby, you don't stop for Chunkys.
Joey: Ross, you should know that my pants are startin to come down and Im not wearing any underwear!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is setting up for the slide show.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is coming in from doing his laundry. He starts folding it as Chandler enters.]
Joey: There you go! That's the spirit I'm looking for! What can we do? Huh? All right who's first? Huh? Ross?
Ross: Yeah.
Phoebe: (To Ross) So whats going on with you?
Ross: Well, last weekend
Ross: since I stopped trying.
Ross: Wow!
Ross: Oh.
Ross: What-what do you mean?
Ross: Okay, I think I got it.
Ross: will be two months
Ross: My Thanksgiving leftover sandwich. I can't believe someone ate it!
Ross: Yeah. He could row like a viking.
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
Phoebe: (singing) They found their bodies the very next day, they found their bodies the very next...(sees Ross and Susan staring at her) la la la la la la.
Monica: Please! I am not as bad as Ross.
Ross: Joey, the guys your best friend.
Ross: This is unbelievable. I - I have never been so insulted in my life. Now, if you'll wrap up my free crab cakes, I'll be on my way.
Ross: Yeah but uh Okay, okay look you guys know that Rachel and I slept together, but theres something else. (Pause) Rachels pregnant.
Mrs. Geller: Ross, drugs? Divorced? Again?
Rachel: Ross, I didn't think it would that big of a deal.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Hey Im sorry to do this to you again but uh, is there any way you can look after Ben for a little bit? I-Ive got this meeting at school. And-and he-he asked for his uh, Fun Aunt Rachel, so
Monica: I can do it, okay? Come on, lets go. (She and Ross get up)
Ross: I got it!
Ross: Emma left her stuffed t-rex at my house. You know she can’t sleep without it.
Ross: (To Monica) Yeah, shes fired.
Ross: Yeah but after you said it was okay, I figured, "Why not?!"