words in movies
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Ross is cleaning out the fridge. Joey walks from his room. He looks like he just woke up.]
Ross: I...reorganized the fridge. See, bottom shelf: meats and dairy. (Theres nothing on the shelf.) Middle shelf: fruits and vegetables. (Theres one lone tomato.) And top shelf: expired products. (The shelf is jammed packed.)
Ross: Because I am bored...Out of my mind. Ive already been to the bank, post office, and the dry cleaners.
Ross: Hey, I am not unemployed. Im on sabbatical!
Joey: Hey, dont get religious on me, ok. (Ross looks a little confused.) A guy in your position needs to be a little better at relaxing. You know. Why do you think we have the comfortable chairs? Huh...come here sit down. (Ross sits down.) Ready? (Joey flips the foot rest up.) Ahh!! (He reclines the chair fully.) Ohh, yeah!! Huh?!
Ross: So what, we just sit?
Chandler: (Angrily) Alright, whoever this is, stop calling me! (Ross and Joey laugh silently.) Its been six months! Its not funny!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are there. Phoebe walks in ringing a bell.]
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is telling Ross how he didn't get the part.]
Ross: I'm sorry, man. Hey, y'know what you should do? You should make something happen for yourself. Y'know, like-like write a play. Write a movie! Huh? I mean, what about those Good Will Hunting guys?
Joey: Come on Ross be realistic, y'know? If I did write something, what are the chances I could get those guys to star in it?
(Ross just stares at him until he figures it out.)
Ross: Or that.
Ross: I'll help you. Yeah, I'll make up a schedule and make sure you stick to it. And plus, it'll give me something to do.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: (grabbing a notepad and sitting down) All right, we'll start off slow. The only thing you have to do tonight is come up with the name of your main character.
Ross: And it can't be Joey.
Ross: Or Joseph.
Joey: Dont stop! Move the bowl further away! Ross could make that shot!
Joey: Chandler, I can't be playing games, Ross is gonna be home soon. And I have to write five whole pages if I'm gonna stick to his schedule.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is reading what Joey wrote.]
Ross: All right. (Reading.) A room. A man enters, he looks suspicious. (Stops reading a flips the page to find the next one is blank.) That's it? (Joey shrugs.) Joey, you're supposed to have five pages done by now! Including an exciting incident! (Flipping through the rest of the pad.) And what is, and what is all this?! (Reading.) The official rulebook of Fireball.
Ross: This is helping your career?! Huh? I thought you wanted to be an actor not the creator of crazy lawsuit game!
Ross: (To Chandler) And shame on you! You should know better, Joey needs to work. (To Joey) Now come on!
(He tries to fire a burnt tennis ball into the bowl Chandler is standing by, but Ross grabs the ball away from him.)
Ross: No! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! You can have this back when the five pages are done! (After Joey walks past, Ross throws the ball down in pain.) Ahh! (Chandler shows him the burn spots on his oven mitts.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is complaining to Ross and Monica about the bucket.]
Ross: So Pheebs, are you gonna go back out there or what?
Monica and Ross: Sure.
Ross: Oh-oh, yeah.
Ross: Uh, you weighted 200 pounds.
Monica: (laughing with Ross) We don't, we don't wrestle now.
Ross: Yeah, not since I got too strong for you.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Oh fine.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is cleaning the foosball table, Joey is working on his script.]
Ross: Joey's not going.
Ross: Because tomorrow he's redoing yesterday's pages.
Chandler: (To Ross) Why don't you cut him a little slack? Okay? Maybe if he relaxes a little bit, he'll get some work done.
Ross: I think he's been relaxing enough, thanks to you and Fireball.
Ross: I am not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical!
Ross: And the reason I'm doing this is because I am Joey's friend. And if you were a good friend, you'd be doing the same thing.
Ross: If it does? Then you're an amazing friend of mine.
Ross: How about we settle this right now! (He rips up the tickets.) There! Now, no one's going to the game. Ha-ha-ha!
Ross: No you didn't. You said you would, but you never did!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is there as Chandler enters.]
Ross: Hey, if they have a ball maybe you can stick razor blades in it and teach them a new game, Gonna Need Stitches Ball.
Ross: Yay!
Joey: No dude, Ross tore up the tickets!
Ross: I guess when you don't have so many distractions, it's easier for you to focus. Huh?
Ross: All right. (Takes another copy.)
Joey: Okay. (Reading.) "It's a typical New York City apartment. Two guys are hanging out." Ross (Points to him.)
(Ross and Chandler start to read Joey's script aloud.)
Ross: Hey man.
Ross: About yesterday, I was really wrong. I am sorry.
Ross: Maybe it was both of us, but we had our best friend's interest (Pauses and looks at Joey.) But we had our best friend's interest at heart.
Ross: I don't know, I'm one sorry polentologist. (Stops reading.) All right Joey, we get it. (To Chandler) I'm sorry.
Chandler: (To Ross) I'm sorry too.
Ross: (reading from the script.) I am sorry, Chandler.
Chandler: I am sorry, Ross.
Joey: A handsome man enters. (Playing the part of the handsome man.) Hey! How's it going guys? I don't know what you two were talking about, but I'd like to say thanks to both of you. You, (Ross) you wouldn't let me give up on myself, and you (Chandler) well you co-created Fireball. The end.
Joey: I mean, she should be with someone like... Ross! You know what I mean, he uses all those big words too! Man, smart people are dull!
Ross: What?! That's not gonna make you any money!
Ross: Yeah I just hurt it.
Rachel: Oh wow! What now Ross youre not gonna talk? How on earth will you ever annoy me? Oh wait a minute, I know. (Mimics his breathing.) I mean youd think the damn jalepeno wouldve cleared up your sinuses, but no!! Thats not enough (Ross jumps over and kisses her.) What are you doing?!
Ross: You know sometimes your words... they hurt.
Ross: Hey hey, can I help?
[Ross and Rachel look at each other and then at Phoebe, realizing the song is about their situation.]
Ross: Oh, you guys call him Cute Coffeehouse Guy, we call him Hums While He Pees.
Rachel: I thought this might happen today. Ross, I know the holidays can be rough. Yknow? And its probably really hard for you to be alone right now.
Ross: Oh yeah, let me just finish this.
Ross: (he comes back) Alright, let's go!
Ross: Chandler, you don't have a sister so you can't understand how much this bums me out.
Rachel: (on answering machine) Hi, its me. Ive been trying to reach you all night. I feel awful. Please, Ross, you gotta know there is nothing between me and Mark. This whole break-up thing is just stupid.
Joey: It wasnt my ring! It fell out of Rosss jacket! And when I knelt down to pick it up Rachel thought I was proposing!
Ross: Oh wait-wait-wait! The message is blinking. Maybe you didn't erase it.
Ross: (yelling at Chandler) I have sex with dinosaurs??
<Ross ponders that and walks away>
Ross: Yeah well, if I know Mark, and I think I do, Id expect nothing less.
Nurse: (To Ross) Rossy, we're ready for you.
Monica: (starting to cry) Im sorry I almost made you sleep with Ross. (They hug.)
Ross: Actually, it looks really good. (Turns towards the window and now Phoebe starts jumping to divert his attention.)
Chandler: Ross, don't press send, don't press se... !
Ross: (visibly upset) I'm dead?
Ross: No, I mean tonight, in the building. Suddenly. Into our lives.
Joey: (after Ross leaves the room) aaand SEND! (he hits the send button)
Ross: All right, all right, it's just that you left a red sock in with all your whites, and now, everything's kinda pink.
Ross: Okay, I have a problem I have to go into work for a few hours, some kids messed up the Homo Sapien display.
Tom: Thanks... uh... I'm so sorry about Ross, it's...
Ross: Who is he?
Monica: So, did you know Ross well?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are watching rugby on TV as Phoebe enters.]
Ross: You can't go, I mean you're the glue that holds this group together!
Joey: The skys blue Ross and I had sex yesterday!
Ross: I dont think so! Youre just giving me Ruth so youll get to name it when its a boy, and thats when youll swoop in and name him Heath or Blaine or Sequoia.
Ross: Did you hear that? Kori Weston had a crush on me!!
ROSS: (whining) But you left.
Ross: No! Do you know what your odds are of winning the lottery? I...I mean you have a better chance of being struck by lightning 42 times.
Ross: No thanks!
Ross: The woman just vanished!
[Scene: N.Y.U, Rosss new class, this time hes actually about to do a lecture.]
Ross: Yeah y'know what? Maybe-maybe you didn't mess up your audition because you suck, maybe you messed up because you care more about uh, your godson.
Joey: Seriously, Ross, you don't want in on this?
Ross: Oh oh, we think Emma is about to start talking so we're trying to be careful about what words we use in front of her.
Ross: Oh, it's not so bad. Monica's gonna make potpourri! I think I'm gonna go wander out in the rain for a while.
Ross: (yelling to Monica)They're towing your car, they're towing your car!!
(Suddenly Ross comes running into the apartment)
[Scene: The fire escape, Joey is now hanging off of the bottom rung of the ladder that wont move and Ross is watching from above.]
Ross: (to Monica)Think he washed his hands?
Ross: Well, I dont think we are gonna have that problem, but maybe thats just because I am not emotionally unavailable!
Ross: Uh, you're not gonna win.
Ross: Why would I eat my own arm?
Ross: Why?
Ross: You don't have to do that, I'll pay for myself. But just the fact that you want me to have fun with you guys - that's so sweet! Come here (they kiss and hug)
Monica: You know what, Ross? I'm gonna throw in 50 bucks for you.
Ross: (To Chandler) Dude, that reverse lay-up! Oh
[Scene: Ross and Rachel�s. Ross phones, Rachel and Emma are there.]
Ross: I ... I was just talking about Rachel.
Chandler: (looks around) I'll take this one too (to Ross) Uh ... Mommy?
Ross: Hey hey, we'll be fine. We're just gonna need a little time.
Ross: Waitohheyhuh, oh great now he knows, and I don't know!
Ross: Okay, I-Ill see you tonight.
MONICA: Rach, get the heat. [Rachel holds up her hand with wet fingernail polish] Ross, could you turn the heat down please?
Joey: (to Ross) I'll show you how.
Ross: Gandolf the wizard. (Joey is still confused) Hello! Didnt you read Lord of the Rings in high school?
Ross: 3 minutes ago!!! I don't know why that's important ...
Ross: I can't believe this, I thought we were all in this together!
Ross: Im not gonna hit you.
Ross: Oh my God, you guys!! (Hes excited about what he thought happened.)
Ross: (trying to stop her) Hey, hey!!
Ross: It went great! And I didnt need any jokes or naked chicks either!
Ross: Wow! How'd you get in there?
[Scene: Rachels bedroom. Ross and Rachel have just finished consummating the new relationship.]
Ross: Monica!
Ross: Go, go, go!!
Ross: Oh yeah, it's a good idea!
Ross: Oh, we have one too!!
Ross: (calling Rachel) Come on!!
Ross: Oh yeah, no no no...that's great!
Rachel: (to Ross) Isn't that amazing?
Ross: It's not a word!
Ross: Yes you did, gleba is a word!
Ross: So is everybody here? I got here a little early myself. Let us begin. Now, the hydrosaurids have been unearthed in two main locations. (He moves to the map and we see why he made it to class on time, hes wearing in-line skates and hasnt taken them off.) Here. (Points to the map, somewhere in the Middle East, then spins on the skates and points to the map.) Here. (China.) Now as for the hydrosaurs
Monica and Ross: Seven.
(they all look at Ross)
ROSS: Oh, now you can exchange them if you want, ok.
Ross: Nono, me neither. Although, uh, y'know, back in college, Susan Sallidor did.
Ross: Hi!
Ross: I'd love to!
Monica: Ohh, Im sorry I couldnt think of anymore for Ross!
ROSS: You know, I, I used to, ah, play keyboards in college.
Ross: Phoebe, what happened?
Monica: Why don't you take Ross?
Chandler: Ross had a ring?! And he was gonna propose?
Ross: Ok, Michelle, it�s time to go.
Ross: Well, this is what happens when people live on the edge!
Ross: Look, it was accident! Okay? I-I feel bad that it happened, but I swear, I didnt even watch it! Anyway, here. (He takes the tape out of his coat pocket.) I thought you might be more comfortable destroying it yourself. (Tosses her the tape.)
Ross: Huh, whats fish hooking... (Joey sticks his finger in Rosss mouth and pulls on his cheek, y'know like when you hook a fish.) (to Joey, sarcastic) Thanks man, that would have been really hard to describe. What is that taste?
Ross: Not there.
Ross: (mumbling) She doesn't know what to say!
Ross: Well, you shouldve seen the guy that she used to go out with. I mean, hes like Joe Rugby.