words in movies
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Ross is cleaning out the fridge. Joey walks from his room. He looks like he just woke up.]
Ross: I...reorganized the fridge. See, bottom shelf: meats and dairy. (Theres nothing on the shelf.) Middle shelf: fruits and vegetables. (Theres one lone tomato.) And top shelf: expired products. (The shelf is jammed packed.)
Ross: Because I am bored...Out of my mind. Ive already been to the bank, post office, and the dry cleaners.
Ross: Hey, I am not unemployed. Im on sabbatical!
Joey: Hey, dont get religious on me, ok. (Ross looks a little confused.) A guy in your position needs to be a little better at relaxing. You know. Why do you think we have the comfortable chairs? Huh...come here sit down. (Ross sits down.) Ready? (Joey flips the foot rest up.) Ahh!! (He reclines the chair fully.) Ohh, yeah!! Huh?!
Ross: So what, we just sit?
Chandler: (Angrily) Alright, whoever this is, stop calling me! (Ross and Joey laugh silently.) Its been six months! Its not funny!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are there. Phoebe walks in ringing a bell.]
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is telling Ross how he didn't get the part.]
Ross: I'm sorry, man. Hey, y'know what you should do? You should make something happen for yourself. Y'know, like-like write a play. Write a movie! Huh? I mean, what about those Good Will Hunting guys?
Joey: Come on Ross be realistic, y'know? If I did write something, what are the chances I could get those guys to star in it?
(Ross just stares at him until he figures it out.)
Ross: Or that.
Ross: I'll help you. Yeah, I'll make up a schedule and make sure you stick to it. And plus, it'll give me something to do.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: (grabbing a notepad and sitting down) All right, we'll start off slow. The only thing you have to do tonight is come up with the name of your main character.
Ross: And it can't be Joey.
Ross: Or Joseph.
Joey: Dont stop! Move the bowl further away! Ross could make that shot!
Joey: Chandler, I can't be playing games, Ross is gonna be home soon. And I have to write five whole pages if I'm gonna stick to his schedule.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is reading what Joey wrote.]
Ross: All right. (Reading.) A room. A man enters, he looks suspicious. (Stops reading a flips the page to find the next one is blank.) That's it? (Joey shrugs.) Joey, you're supposed to have five pages done by now! Including an exciting incident! (Flipping through the rest of the pad.) And what is, and what is all this?! (Reading.) The official rulebook of Fireball.
Ross: This is helping your career?! Huh? I thought you wanted to be an actor not the creator of crazy lawsuit game!
Ross: (To Chandler) And shame on you! You should know better, Joey needs to work. (To Joey) Now come on!
(He tries to fire a burnt tennis ball into the bowl Chandler is standing by, but Ross grabs the ball away from him.)
Ross: No! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! You can have this back when the five pages are done! (After Joey walks past, Ross throws the ball down in pain.) Ahh! (Chandler shows him the burn spots on his oven mitts.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is complaining to Ross and Monica about the bucket.]
Ross: So Pheebs, are you gonna go back out there or what?
Monica and Ross: Sure.
Ross: Oh-oh, yeah.
Ross: Uh, you weighted 200 pounds.
Monica: (laughing with Ross) We don't, we don't wrestle now.
Ross: Yeah, not since I got too strong for you.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Oh fine.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is cleaning the foosball table, Joey is working on his script.]
Ross: Joey's not going.
Ross: Because tomorrow he's redoing yesterday's pages.
Chandler: (To Ross) Why don't you cut him a little slack? Okay? Maybe if he relaxes a little bit, he'll get some work done.
Ross: I think he's been relaxing enough, thanks to you and Fireball.
Ross: I am not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical!
Ross: And the reason I'm doing this is because I am Joey's friend. And if you were a good friend, you'd be doing the same thing.
Ross: If it does? Then you're an amazing friend of mine.
Ross: How about we settle this right now! (He rips up the tickets.) There! Now, no one's going to the game. Ha-ha-ha!
Ross: No you didn't. You said you would, but you never did!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is there as Chandler enters.]
Ross: Hey, if they have a ball maybe you can stick razor blades in it and teach them a new game, Gonna Need Stitches Ball.
Ross: Yay!
Joey: No dude, Ross tore up the tickets!
Ross: I guess when you don't have so many distractions, it's easier for you to focus. Huh?
Ross: All right. (Takes another copy.)
Joey: Okay. (Reading.) "It's a typical New York City apartment. Two guys are hanging out." Ross (Points to him.)
(Ross and Chandler start to read Joey's script aloud.)
Ross: Hey man.
Ross: About yesterday, I was really wrong. I am sorry.
Ross: Maybe it was both of us, but we had our best friend's interest (Pauses and looks at Joey.) But we had our best friend's interest at heart.
Ross: I don't know, I'm one sorry polentologist. (Stops reading.) All right Joey, we get it. (To Chandler) I'm sorry.
Chandler: (To Ross) I'm sorry too.
Ross: (reading from the script.) I am sorry, Chandler.
Chandler: I am sorry, Ross.
Joey: A handsome man enters. (Playing the part of the handsome man.) Hey! How's it going guys? I don't know what you two were talking about, but I'd like to say thanks to both of you. You, (Ross) you wouldn't let me give up on myself, and you (Chandler) well you co-created Fireball. The end.
[Cut to Phoebes room, Phoebe has put her helmet on one of her teddy bears and is playing around with it. Ross knocks and pokes his head in the door.]
Ross: All right, we have a tie. Luckily, I have prepared for such an event. (He opens up an envelope and holds up some note cards.) The Lightning Round!
Ross: (sitting up) No! (Exits.)
Ross: Okay, okay. If that is what it takes to show you how much you mean to me, and how much I want you there. Then that's what I'll do.
Ross: Still thinking about it huh?
Ross: Okay. Sure. (Sits down on her bed.)
(Ross slams his head down on the table.)
Ross: Hi! I could help not notice, but that's an unusual necklace
Ross: Okay, okay. Uh, well uh, Rachel is going to need to yell sweet nothings (Paul enters) in his ear.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Rachel is still trying to talk up Ross, not to much success.]
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey, heres a thought.
Ross: Got me. (He shows of his hands.)
Ross: Oww!
Ross: Oh, I see, so everybody wins.
Ross: Oh, hey, hey Rach, do you notice anything..ahh
(Ross looks at Chandler.)
Ross: (at the door) And uh, Rachel.
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Oh, Ill have some!
Phoebe: Hey! Ross!
Ross: Umm, okay, yeah, sure. But wh-whats wrong with Monica and Chandler?
Rachel: (still trapped under Ross) Pheebs, could you maybe hand me a cracker?
Ross: After what I did? Can you blame her?
Ross: Uh, Phoebe
Phoebe: Oh Ross, hi.
Ross: Phoebe!
Ross: Phoebe, what are you doing?
Ross: And they knew about it?
Ross: Phoebe, you said it was urgent!
[Time lapse, dinner is now finished and Ross is looking out the window.]
Ross: Aww, come on.
Ross: Alright, we�ll just, uh, see when you get here. Bye. (hangs up) Huh, that was my mom, she�s stuck in terrible traffic.
Ross: Hello.
Ross: (from his apartment) Man! They cannot get enough! (Makes like he's a robot and waves at the cutouts.)
Ross: Can I, can I help you with something?
Ross: (deadpan) Yes I am.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is on the couch as Ross enters.]
(Chandler and Joey smile, but when Ross turns away look at each other with looks of horror.)
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
Rachel: Whats up, Ross?
Ross: Okay, good stuff. Umm, well shes-shes sweet and pretty and
Ross: I dont know Rachel, why?
Ross: Okay, break-ups still on!
ROSS: Oh, hey, if I make you laugh, here's an idea, why don't you invite Paulo over and have a little romp in the sack and I'll just stand in the corner and tell knock-knock jokes.
Ross: Umm, say youre gonna be starving after all this moving. What do you say I take you to dinner tonight?
Ross: Uh okay, well theres-theres wine in the kitchen.
Ross: His daughter was hot.
Ross: To be fair, he doesnt seem to be impersonating Fonzie
(Joey and Ross enter.)
ROSS: But I don't know it. What I do know is that you owe $2300 at Isn't it Chromantic.
Ross and Rachel: Hey!
Ross: About what?
Ross: As a romancer of the elderly.
Ross: Take thee, (Glares at the Minister) Emily. (Chuckles) Like thered be anybody else. (Emily is glaring at him.)
Ross: Are you sure?
Ross: Hey! Hey, look! Ugly Naked Guy's back!
Ross: Well, you-youve always had glasses.
Ross: Yeah I know. (Pause) On the other hand in um, in about seven months youre gonna have something that youre gonna love more than any guy youve ever gone out with. Just wait. Wait until uh, wait until the first time your baby grabs your finger. You have no idea.
Ross: Joey, Im not worried about her! Im worried about my baby! Whoever she dates my baby dates! Now-now where is this (makes the quote-marks sign) actor taking them?
Ross: No, why?
Rachel: Okay, yknow what?! I know-I know how to settle this! All right here, this is what were gonna do! Im gonna write Joey on one napkin (does so) and Im gonna right Ross on the other napkin (does so) and we are going to pick one! And that person is going to be our backup! Okay?
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Yeah. Do you have any idea what this means in academic circles, uh? I am gonna get laid.
Ross: Oh, we have to get you an engagement present?
Ross: No, I'll do it. (he quickly grabs Joey's boarding pass and gives Joey his one.)
Ross: No one got me an engagement present.
Ross: Look, I uh, I tried not to kiss her, okay?
Joey: Oh, oh! Any chance any of this happened in a "Galaxy far, far away"? (Ross turns aroud and glares at him. Joey and Rachel decide to leave).
Rachel: Oh no Ross! This is not good, we have to talk about this Joey thing. Please sit. (He sits) You have got to get over this Joey thing, okay? I never really wanted to marry Joey, okay?
Ross: He gave me a pill for it.
ROSS: Actually it's the movie theatre that has the time schedule. So you don't miss the beginning.
Ross: Hey, how can it not be me?!HeyHey!
Ross: (entering with Chandler) Hey.
Ross: Stupid balls are in the way. (holds up two balls)
Ross: You were trying to eat it!
Ross: Sure, because women never like Joey. Yknow, I think hes a virgin.
Ross: Hey.
Ross: Thank you!
Ross: Whoa-whoa, arent you a little over dressed?
Chandler: (To Ross) Thanks for picking out the earrings man.
Ross: (weakly) No.
Ross: Which one was that?
Ross: Lets give it a shot.
Ross: Look, I do not re-love her.
Janice: (Ross is still taking their photo) Oh, I'm gonna blow this one up, and I'm gonna write 'Reunited' in glitter.
Rachel: Oh, honey, please, no, I can't get started with all that Ross stuff again. I mean, he's gonna screwed up for a looong time. And besides y'know, I don't, I don't go for guys right after they get divorced.
Ross: Okay Phoebe, I guess youre next (To Joey) although I really dont see the point.
[Cut to the kitchen, Ross and Chandler are doing the dishes.]
Ross: Looking up?
[Scene: The playground. Ross, Rachel and Emma are still there. Rachel comes walking to Ross and Emma with something between her hands.]
Ross: We?! We angered it?!
[Scene: Rosss office, hes opening the door to Elizabeth.]
Monica: Oh no its not, no its not. Its a first date. Im sure that nothing is gonna (as she is talking we see Ross close his drapes.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching a basketball game, Ross is staring out the peephole.]
Ross: Oh-no. No. No.
Ross: Ohhhh
Chandler: You wanna see flirting? I'll show you flirting. (Starts to move towards Ross.)
Phoebe: Yeah, not in your case Lovey Loverson. (Tries to take a bite out of Rosss cookie.)
[Ross and Chandler stare angrily at Joey, who thinks he has come up with a good idea.]
Ross: It wasnt the best.