words in movies
Ross: C'mon, Chandler, I love your mom. I think she's a blast.
Ross: Oh, please...
Ross: When did Rigatoni get back from Rome?
Ross: Ah, so then his plane didn't explode in a big ball of fire?... Just a dream I had- but, phew.
Ross: (Entering) What is this dive? Only you could've picked this place.
Mrs. Bing: There y'go. Ross?
Ross: Uh, I'm not really a shot drinking kinda guy.
Ross: ...But a man can change. (Downs a shot)
[Time lapse. Ross is now clearly drunk. He is holding up a shot glass to his eye like a jeweller's eye.]
Ross: Anyone want me to appraise anything?
(Ross emerges from a toilet marked 'Chicas')
Ross: Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. (A woman emerges from the toilet behind him and he tries to pretend he was in the other one)
Ross: Nothing. Nothing nothing nothing.
Mrs. Bing: (To phone) Okay, thank you. (To Ross) It's the Italian Hand-Licker, isn't it.
Ross: No. It's the one he's licking.
Ross: You're good.
Mrs. Bing: Oh, Ross, listen to me. I have sold a hundred million copies of my books, and y'know why?
Ross: The girl on the cover with her nipples showing?
Ross: When?
Ross: The guy on the cover with his nipples showing?
Ross: Please.
Ross: Right.
Ross: Uh-oh...
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the next morning. Joey is getting the door in his dressing gownit's Ross.]
Ross: Hey, is Chandler here?
(Ross drags Joey into the hall and slams the door)
Ross: Okay, uh, about last night, um, Chandler.. you didn't tell... (Joey shakes his head) Okay, 'cause I'm thinking- we don't need to tell Chandler, I mean, it was just a kiss, right? One kiss? No big deal? Right?
Ross: Okay.
Ross: What code?
Ross: Uh.. uh.. Well, Joey and I had discussed getting in an early morning racquetball game. But, um, apparently, somebody overslept.
Ross: No, no I don't, because it's being restrung, somebody was supposed to bring me one.
Ross: Okay, I'm scum, I'm scum.
Joey: Ross, how could you let this happen?
Ross: I don't know, God, I... well, it's not like she's a regular mom, y'know? She's, she's sexy, she's...
Ross: Well... not in the same way...
Ross: Okay, I think we're getting into a weird area here...
Ross: Hey.
Ross: Well, not playing raquetball!
Ross: He didn't get the goggles!
(They kiss. Ross is watching them)
Ross: Do they wait for me to do this?
(Joey and Ross go into Monica and Rachel's apartment)
Ross: Why would I tell him?
Ross: Oh...
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is talking to Chandler. Joey is making a snack at the bar.]
Ross: You're my friend. I-I had to tell you.
Ross: Yeah, um, I don't know if you noticed, but he had a lot to drink, and you know how he gets when he's drun..uh... (He has caught sight of Joey scowling at him) I can't do this, I did it, it was me, I'm sorry, I kissed your mom.
Ross: I was really upset about Rachel and Paolo, and I think I had too much tequila, and Nora- um, Mrs. Mom- your Bing- was just being nice, y'know, and- But nothing happened, nothing- Ask Joey, Joey, uh, came in-
Ross: Thanks, man, big help.
Chandler: (To Ross) I can't believe this! What the hell were you thinking?
Ross: I wasn't- I mean, I-
Ross: I know-
Ross: Chandler-
Ross: Chandler-
Joey: (Shouting after him) Chandler, I didn't kiss her, he did! (To Ross) See what happens when you break the code?
Ross: Joey-
Joey: (To Ross, on the couch) Now, here's a picture of my mother and father on their wedding day. Now you tell me she's not a knockout.
Ross: I cannot believe we're having this conversation.
Ross: Oh, uh, Phoebe just started a...
Ross: Chandler, can I just say something? I-I know you're still mad at me, I just wanna say that there were two people there that night. Okay? Two sets of lips.
Ross: Okay, well, if she always behaves like this, why don't you say something?
Ross: (To the rest of Central Perk) We're rehearsing a Greek play.
Ross: No! Okay, you mean, you're not gonna talk to her, you're not gonna tell her how you feel?
Ross: Okay, 'you' can't, or (Points to Chandler) you can't? (Chandler grabs his finger) Okay, that's my finger. (Chandler twists it and Ross goes down on one knee) That's, that's my knee. (To Central Perk) Still doing the play. Aaah!
Chandler: You kissed my best Ross! ...Or something to that effect.
[Cut to the hallway, Joey is listening to Chandler and his mom's conversation through the door as Ross walks up.]
Ross: Ah, the forbidden love of a man and his door.
Ross: You're kidding.
Ross: Wow!
Ross: 'Kay, wait a minute, are you sure she didn't say "When are you gonna grow up and realise I am your mom?"
Ross: So, what's going on now?
Ross: Whaddya see?
(Joey runs off down the hall. Ross tries Monica and Rachel's apartment, but it is locked so he has to stand in the hall and pretend he wasn't listening. Chandler and his mom come out)
Ross: (Very politely) Mrs. Bing.
(Ross knocks on Monica and Rachel's door)
Ross: You mean that?
Ross: Yeah? How'd it go?
Ross: Well, howdya feel?
Ross: Well, see? So, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea, y'know, me kissing your mom, uh? Huh? (Wags his finger at Chandler, then puts it down) But.. we don't have to go down that road.
Ross: Wait, did you get to the part about his 'huge throbbing pens'? Tell ya, you don't wanna be around when he starts writing with those!
Ross: Well, okay, what-what did she say?
Ross: Huh.
Ross: I cant believe in four weeks theyre gonna be married!
Ross: Oh, be-because of the leather pants.
Joey: No, come on Ross! (He grabs his bag so he cant leave) Look, Ross, we have to get past this.
Ross: (on machine) "Hey Ross, it's you!" (Hits the stop button) Oh yeah, no that's-that's an old message, nobody needs to hear that.
Ross: We, we just decided to uh, to go for it.
Ross: (entering, downtrodden) Hi.
Ross: Someone at work ate my sandwich!
Ross: And for the record, it took two people to break up this relationship!!
(Ross is stunned.)
Ross: Oh, ah, you dont need that.
Ross: Hero, I uh, I dont knowwell, all right.
Joey: Yeah, hero sandwiches. (Points at Ross who points back.)
Ross: Nevermind! (Goes back to his mailbox.)
Ross: And she just gave you this?
Ross: (barely containing himself at this point) Well, you have fun tonight.
Ross: Oh no-no-no, Im there.
Ross: Are you serious?!
Ross: (looks at his watch) 2:17.
Joey and Ross: No.
Ross: I dont think you had an open mind about the name Ruth. I mean, come on, little Ruthie Geller, how-how cute is that?
Ross: Yeah, no one talks like that!
Joey and Ross: Yeah!
ROSS: [uncomfortable] Good, so everybody's here. Everybody's good. So, were you gonna play something, Phoebe?
Ross: What-what is it?!
Ross: (to Caitlin) Hey uh, y'know that smell gas has?
Ross: Who the hell is Jordie?
Ross: Yeah? How much?
Ross: ON A CAT??!!!!
Ross: Wow! I thought you would be a little more shocked.
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: What?
Ross: I know! (Looks at the ball in his hands.) Don't switch hands, okay?
Ross: Uhh, yeah it would! Let's do it!
Ross: I dont know, I told her it was stupid to put off the wedding just because the hall was gone and she liked flipped out.
Ross: Yknow what I think it is? I think youve made such a nice home for her over the last nine months that she just doesnt want to leave.
ROSS: I, I know it's big, I just didn't know it was uh, ha-ha big.
Ross: Well, who's gonna kiss my sister.
Ross: Lady, he is people. He has a name, okay? He watches Jeopardy! He he touches himself when nobody's watching. Please, please have a heart!
Ross: How do you know? You don't have a watch.
Emily: No, no, no Ross! Ross, these are friends of mine from home. (Introducing them) Liam, Devon, this is Ross.
Rachel: Pheebs, I would make a reservation for five, because one of us has to stay home and watch Emma. (to Ross:) Which one of us should go to dinner?
Ross: Hey Rach!
Ross: Monica, whatever you do, do not drop that ball!
Ross: 2 hours, 27 minutes.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Well, her thought is, and I agree, fresh new furniture, why not a fresh new apartment? Her cousin has this great place to sublet, it's got a view of the river on one side and Columbia on the other.
Ross: Okay, theres this guy, Warren, from the museum and hes going on a dig for like two years and hes got this great place he needs to sublet. So uh, you interested?
Ross: Yes! Were getting married?!
Ross: Yeah, it's, it's, it's cute. Why, why, why does he have it, again?
Ross: Yeah. (He does so and Phoebe hugs him.)
Ross: (he bounds into the lounge room) But you didn't! I'm still alive!! Kori, I know this is a big surprise for you. It's a long story but the things you just said really made my day! I mean, the fact that you are here means more to me than if this room were filled with people!
Rachel: Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mommy... Please? Please laugh for mommy... (Rachel makes a funny face, sticking her tongue out, making a farting noise and using her hands as antlers, wiggling her fingers... No response from Emma...) Not funny huh? Oh so, is it... only offensive novelty rap? Or maybe just, you know, rap in general? 'Cause mommy can rap... (Rachel tries to rap and makes weird movements with her arms in the process.) My name is mommy and I'm here to say / that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap... Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody... (Rachel's face is telling "Oh what am I doing? The things I have to go through... and she starts to rap) I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face... (Emma starts to laugh) Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! (Rachel now really gets into it, and her insecure movements start getting better) I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo... (Rachel picks up Emma and Ross now enters)
Ross: Yeah, he-hes right, hes right. This is your time y'know, yeah, youre young, youre-youre weird, chicks dig that.
Ross: Anyway, they want me to go down to this- sonogram thing with them tomorrow.
Chandler: If you clear things up with Rachel then Ross never needs to find out, but you have to do it now before he hears about it and kicks your ass!
Monica: Mira, Ross, Marcel se llevo el control remoto. (Look, Ross, Marcel's got the remote.)
Ross: Oh hey, Gary, want me to grab the berry for ya?
Ross: Oh, thank God!
Ross: I am!
Monica: Now, Mom, everything's going fine, really. (Listens) Yeah, Ross is great. He's uh, he's in a whole other place. (Listens) No, he's gone. (Listens) No no, you don't have to fly back, really. (Listens) What do you mean this might be your only chance? (Listens) Would you stop? I'm only 26, I'm not even thinking about babies yet.
Ross: Come on Rach, you dont have what, ten minutes?
Chandler: (With the covers pulled up to his chin.) Morning, Ross.
(Ross turns to look at Joey.)
[Scene: Jen's apartment, Ross is picking her up for their date.]
Joey: Look Ross, I am so-so sorry. I-I-I
Ross: Oh God, here we go!
Ross: What's going on?
Ross: Wow! You look nice. What's the occasion?
Joey: Hey Ross listen Chandler got you out of going to the lesbian sandwich museum this weekend!
Ross: It's really a uh-uh three person game, y'know?
Ross: No! No! I didnt do that. Its just Okay, honestly no. I dont, I dont see a big future with her.
(Ross hands Rachel back the newspaper, and she starts beating him with it again.)
Ross: What does this mean? What do you, I mean do you wanna, get back together?
Mona: Ross, what are you doing?!
Ross: (Pause) Yeah I am! Yeah, Ben got a second audition!
[Scene: Lamaze class, Ross is again on the floor, cradled in Susans lap, but now Carol is cradled in his lap, and she has a pretend baby, on her lap. The teacher is showing her class a video, which is about to end.]
Ross: You know, sometimes when I'm alone in my apartment, I look over here and you guys... are just having dinner or... watching TV or something, but... it makes me feel better. And now when I look over, who am I gonna see? The Gottliebs, the Yangs? They don't make me feel so good. (Joey pats Ross on his back)
Ross: I don't know, umm
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there. Chandler enters.]
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Action.
Ross: I'm starving!
Ross: Yeah. Right. Save it. I can do that. (Gets up and does a little kara-tay.)
(Joey and Ross enter. Phoebe and Mike are sitting on the couch, reading a magazine.)
Ross: Oh, so-so you talked to her. Did she, did she sound mad?
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: All right!
Ross: Well, I don't know.
[Scene: Ross, Phoebe, Rachel, and Chandler at Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
(Ross is eavesdropping in the hallway.)
(Ross isn't sure what to do with that comment.)
Ross: Okay. So we're, we're good?
Janice: (starting to cry) You're a very sweet person Ross, umm, unfortunately I don't think I can take another second of you whining!!
Ross: Great! Because people kept showing up, I think its like uh-a thing!
Ross: What can I do? One person wants to break-up, you break-up.
Ross: Yeah, okay, hold on! (He puts the phone down and proceeds to spread a large amount of powder on his legs and makes another attempt at pulling up his pants. It doesn't work, and without picking up the phone leans down to it.) (Almost in tears.) They're not coming on man.
Ross: Okay, are you mad at me because my hair gel smells?