words in movies
Ross: C'mon, Chandler, I love your mom. I think she's a blast.
Ross: Oh, please...
Ross: When did Rigatoni get back from Rome?
Ross: Ah, so then his plane didn't explode in a big ball of fire?... Just a dream I had- but, phew.
Ross: (Entering) What is this dive? Only you could've picked this place.
Mrs. Bing: There y'go. Ross?
Ross: Uh, I'm not really a shot drinking kinda guy.
Ross: ...But a man can change. (Downs a shot)
[Time lapse. Ross is now clearly drunk. He is holding up a shot glass to his eye like a jeweller's eye.]
Ross: Anyone want me to appraise anything?
(Ross emerges from a toilet marked 'Chicas')
Ross: Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. (A woman emerges from the toilet behind him and he tries to pretend he was in the other one)
Ross: Nothing. Nothing nothing nothing.
Mrs. Bing: (To phone) Okay, thank you. (To Ross) It's the Italian Hand-Licker, isn't it.
Ross: No. It's the one he's licking.
Ross: You're good.
Mrs. Bing: Oh, Ross, listen to me. I have sold a hundred million copies of my books, and y'know why?
Ross: The girl on the cover with her nipples showing?
Ross: When?
Ross: The guy on the cover with his nipples showing?
Ross: Please.
Ross: Right.
Ross: Uh-oh...
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the next morning. Joey is getting the door in his dressing gownit's Ross.]
Ross: Hey, is Chandler here?
(Ross drags Joey into the hall and slams the door)
Ross: Okay, uh, about last night, um, Chandler.. you didn't tell... (Joey shakes his head) Okay, 'cause I'm thinking- we don't need to tell Chandler, I mean, it was just a kiss, right? One kiss? No big deal? Right?
Ross: Okay.
Ross: What code?
Ross: Uh.. uh.. Well, Joey and I had discussed getting in an early morning racquetball game. But, um, apparently, somebody overslept.
Ross: No, no I don't, because it's being restrung, somebody was supposed to bring me one.
Ross: Okay, I'm scum, I'm scum.
Joey: Ross, how could you let this happen?
Ross: I don't know, God, I... well, it's not like she's a regular mom, y'know? She's, she's sexy, she's...
Ross: Well... not in the same way...
Ross: Okay, I think we're getting into a weird area here...
Ross: Hey.
Ross: Well, not playing raquetball!
Ross: He didn't get the goggles!
(They kiss. Ross is watching them)
Ross: Do they wait for me to do this?
(Joey and Ross go into Monica and Rachel's apartment)
Ross: Why would I tell him?
Ross: Oh...
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is talking to Chandler. Joey is making a snack at the bar.]
Ross: You're my friend. I-I had to tell you.
Ross: Yeah, um, I don't know if you noticed, but he had a lot to drink, and you know how he gets when he's drun..uh... (He has caught sight of Joey scowling at him) I can't do this, I did it, it was me, I'm sorry, I kissed your mom.
Ross: I was really upset about Rachel and Paolo, and I think I had too much tequila, and Nora- um, Mrs. Mom- your Bing- was just being nice, y'know, and- But nothing happened, nothing- Ask Joey, Joey, uh, came in-
Ross: Thanks, man, big help.
Chandler: (To Ross) I can't believe this! What the hell were you thinking?
Ross: I wasn't- I mean, I-
Ross: I know-
Ross: Chandler-
Ross: Chandler-
Joey: (Shouting after him) Chandler, I didn't kiss her, he did! (To Ross) See what happens when you break the code?
Ross: Joey-
Joey: (To Ross, on the couch) Now, here's a picture of my mother and father on their wedding day. Now you tell me she's not a knockout.
Ross: I cannot believe we're having this conversation.
Ross: Oh, uh, Phoebe just started a...
Ross: Chandler, can I just say something? I-I know you're still mad at me, I just wanna say that there were two people there that night. Okay? Two sets of lips.
Ross: Okay, well, if she always behaves like this, why don't you say something?
Ross: (To the rest of Central Perk) We're rehearsing a Greek play.
Ross: No! Okay, you mean, you're not gonna talk to her, you're not gonna tell her how you feel?
Ross: Okay, 'you' can't, or (Points to Chandler) you can't? (Chandler grabs his finger) Okay, that's my finger. (Chandler twists it and Ross goes down on one knee) That's, that's my knee. (To Central Perk) Still doing the play. Aaah!
Chandler: You kissed my best Ross! ...Or something to that effect.
[Cut to the hallway, Joey is listening to Chandler and his mom's conversation through the door as Ross walks up.]
Ross: Ah, the forbidden love of a man and his door.
Ross: You're kidding.
Ross: Wow!
Ross: 'Kay, wait a minute, are you sure she didn't say "When are you gonna grow up and realise I am your mom?"
Ross: So, what's going on now?
Ross: Whaddya see?
(Joey runs off down the hall. Ross tries Monica and Rachel's apartment, but it is locked so he has to stand in the hall and pretend he wasn't listening. Chandler and his mom come out)
Ross: (Very politely) Mrs. Bing.
(Ross knocks on Monica and Rachel's door)
Ross: You mean that?
Ross: Yeah? How'd it go?
Ross: Well, howdya feel?
Ross: Well, see? So, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea, y'know, me kissing your mom, uh? Huh? (Wags his finger at Chandler, then puts it down) But.. we don't have to go down that road.
Ross: Wait, did you get to the part about his 'huge throbbing pens'? Tell ya, you don't wanna be around when he starts writing with those!
Ross: Hey, what do you say we celebrate? Champagne? (he goes to get the champagne)
Ross: Yeah. He wouldn't give me the grant, because I wouldn't give you up.
Ross: I can't believe this is happening.
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Ross is living with Chandler and Joey. Joey and Ross have built a fort out of boxes, Chandler enters and they stand up slowly.]
Ross: (trying to act manly in front of Janine) No I dont want to play video games, Joey!
(Ross resumes playing, this time accompanied by Phoebe screeching out Es in tune with Ross. While Phoebe is singing along, Rachel is having a very difficult time keeping a straight face. Thankfully, Ross gives up after a little while.)
Ross and Rachel: Ohh! Ew!
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey's on the couch when Ross walks to him, with his jacket closed.]
Ross: No, you guys, I mean my keyboards are all the way up inNo, yeah, okay. (Runs out.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Ross. Joey, and Rachel are eating breakfast. Chandler is holding a bottle of Herseys Syrup.]
Joey: (shouting to Ross) JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!
Ross: Well, looks like it's just the two of us tonight, huh old buddy?
(Ross puts the piece back on the plate)
Ross: Food.
Ross: Forty-five minutes.
Ross: I know, and with the baby coming?
Ross: What's going on?
Rachel: I mean if you think about it, I mean Ross did learn something from each marriage.
Ross: Oh my God.
Ross: You know what, if you wanna look for a house, that's okay.
Ross: What?
Ross: I don't know you'd be so bored with marriage. I mean it's so... normal.
Ross: Uh we-we need to talk.
Ross: You put an offer on a house?
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.
Ross: Okay, listen I am not a pervert!
Ross: That money is mine, Green!
Ross: No, 19.
Ross: Two seconds...
Ross: Don’t blame the questions!
Ross: What the hell are doing?!!
Ross: Still sharp as a tack!
[Scene: The Hospital, Marcel lies on the operating table while recovering from the anaesthetic, tucked up under a sheet like an infant in a huge bed. Ross sits beside him, as a smiling Chandler, Monica and Rachel look on.]
Ross: Oh really? Did she tell you he plays the recorder, recites poetry and bakes Madeleines?
(Chandler is getting ready to kick off, Ross is holding the ball between his foot and finger.)
Ross: No-no, thats-thats not my thing! I do not love getting divorced!
Ross: What? Wh- hello? The Millners' farm in Connecticut? The Millners, they had this unbelievable farm, they had horses, and, and rabbits that he could chase and it was- it w- .....Oh my God, Chi Chi!
Ross: Really? Which one?
Ross: Except for "Match game"...
Ross: Yes please.
Ross: Dude. You're married to my sister.
Ross: Boss!
Ross: She's gone.
Ross: (opening the door to see Mona standing there) Mona? What arehi! What are you doing here? Im, um, supposed to pick you up!
Chandler and Ross: Way!
Ross: Hey, Missy...
Ross: You got it.
Ross: Those are the pacts!
Ross: Oh, oh... maybe not you!
Ross: Dude, I was gonna ask her out.
Ross: I know, and I can't stop sweating. (he walks towards Missy)
Ross: No, I-I got really hot in my leather pants so I took them off but they must have shrunk from the-the sweat or-or-or my legs expanded from the heat. Look, I-I can't put them back on. I can't!
Ross: Oh, it's all over everything. Why? Why me? (looks up)
Ross: What, I mean, a little, but no, what, go on.
Ross: Great!
Ross: So, Saturday night!
Ross: Oh, well, uh, this is gonna sound kinda silly, but, do you remember my roommate Chandler Bing?
Ross: Hey, there's Missy Goldberg. You gotta remember her.
Ross: Yeah, why?
Ross: You did?
Ross: C'mon you guys, this is really important to us.
Ross: (shows Tag his sweater tag) Umm, I dont some Italian guy. Come on, read your own label. See you later.
Ross: Too little, too late, Benji!
RACHEL: Well, we're not here to meet guys.� You have a boyfriend, I have a b. . . baby and a Ross.
Rachel: I am so sick of guys. I don't want to look at another guy, I don't want to think about another guy, I don't even want to be near another guy. (Ross crosses arms)
Ross: I guess if everybody else is...
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!)
Chandler: Ross, that was 16 years ago!
Ross: No.
Ross: NO!
Ross: You broke the pact!
Ross: I didn't.
Ross: I don't know what... you're talking about.
Ross: I-I know. Well if something comes up... (walks away)
Ross: Cool! (They start kissing again and Chandler looks shocked)
Ross: (looks disappointed in himself) Man... I... I'm sorry.
Ross: I didn't know you knew about that.
[Scene: We cut back to the present. The reunion where Chandler and Ross are talking.]
Ross: We are even, right?
[Cut to the Jetway, the flight attendant enters, walks past Ross, and approaches an older man with his wife who is also wearing a blue jacket.]
Ross: (entering) Okay, okay, okay, I've got two cabs and no people. Go! Go! Go!
Adrienne: Oh believe me, Ross, I won't be telling anybody about this.
Joey: No. It just seems like Ross is the kind of a guy that would marry a woman on the verge of being a lesbian and then push her over the edge.
Ross: (annoyed) Oh, do you, do you really?
Ross: Hey, where's Rachel?
Ross: Because... the night you kissed Rachel was the night I kissed Rachel for the very first time.
Ross: Did you know Chandler kissed Rachel?
Ross: Well, it matters to me.
Ross: Well, then who was on my bed?
Ross: OH MY GOD!
Ross: Mine.
Ross: (realizing) NO! No, no!
Ross: You were my first kiss with Rachel?
Ross: Wait a minute, does-does everyone feel this way?
Ross: Seriously you guys, what's going on? What are these for?
Ross: That is why!
Ross: Youre gonna be a party person! Those guys rock the most!
Ross: Hi! (he kisses Phoebe)
(cut to Ross, Chandler and Rachel)
Ross: FOOTBALL!