words in movies
Ross: Really? Which one?
Ross: Things you find in the ocean, (to Joey) You're gonna be on "Pyramid"!!
Ross: Except for "Match game"...
Ross: Oh, and Chandler and I have this stupid college alumni thing. I can't believe you get to meet Donny Osmond.
Ross: (very excited) Yeah-uh!
Monica: Ross and I always wanted to be Donny and Marie.
Ross: (singing) "...and I'm a little bit rock 'n' roll"!
[Scene: Class of '91 reunion. Ross and Chandler enter.]
Ross: So weird to see all these people again... Oh my God, look, there's Geoffrey Cleric.
Ross: He was roommates with John Rosoff. He went out with Andrea Tamburino. She dumped him for Michael Skloff.
Ross: Hey, there's Missy Goldberg. You gotta remember her.
Ross: Dude. You're married to my sister.
Ross: Hey, I hear she's single again, d'you think I should ask her out?
Ross: Yes please.
[Flashback, year 1987. Chandler enters the school's corridor. Ross is hanging some flyers on the wall. Both have a funny 80s hair and clothes.]
Ross: Hey. Hey, check out the flyers for the band. I made 'em on a Macintosh in the computer room!
Ross: Thanks to a little something called "Helvetica Bold 24 point"!
Ross: Hey, Missy...
Ross: Yeah, yeah. You should come check us out. We're called "Way! No Way!".
Chandler and Ross: Way!
Ross: Boss!
Ross: She's gone.
Ross: Dude, I was gonna ask her out.
Ross: Well, I thought it first, Holmes.
Ross: Woha! Wait... What are we doing? What we have is too important to mess it up over some girl. I mean, we can get laid anytime we want.
Ross: Me too. I'm good at it.
Ross: You got it.
Ross: Those are the pacts!
Ross: Oh, oh... maybe not you!
[We get back to the Class of '91 reunion, where Ross and Chandler are still looking at Missy.]
Ross: Thank you. (they shake hands) All right, here I go. Hey, remember how scary it used to be going up to girls in college?
Ross: I know, and I can't stop sweating. (he walks towards Missy)
[Scene: College reunion party. Ross is talking to Missy.]
Ross: So, Saturday night!
Ross: Great!
Ross: Oh, well, uh, this is gonna sound kinda silly, but, do you remember my roommate Chandler Bing?
Ross: It's been sixteen years but the air quotes still hurt.
Ross: That's ok. Uh, anyway, well he and I both really liked you a lot, uhm, but we didn't want anything to jeopardize our friendship, so we kinda made a pact, that neither of us could ask you out!
Ross: Yeah, why?
Ross: You did?
Ross: (angrily) AND ON MY TURF?
[Scene: Class of '91 reunion. Ross is walking angrily towards Chandler, who is talking to two other guys.]
Ross: (To Chandler) You made out with Missy Goldberg. How could you do that, after you promised me?
Chandler: (to the two guys) Excuse me. (Chandler and Ross move away from them). That didn't make us sound gay at all!
Ross: You broke the pact!
Chandler: Ross, that was 16 years ago!
Ross: That doesn't matter! We're talking about the foundation of our friendship.
Chandler: I believe the foundation of our friendship was unfortunate hair. (Ross just stares at him) All right, look, if we're really gonna do this... it's not like you never broke one of the pacts.
Ross: I didn't.
Ross: No.
Ross: NO!
Chandler and Ross: Hey! Hey Adrienne. (They move away from her)
Ross: I never did anything with Adrienne Turner.
Ross: I don't know what... you're talking about.
Rachel: Well lets see. Maybe he knows where Ross is. (They walk towards Chandler) Hey, how's it going (tries to look as un-interested in him as possible - checking out her nails).
Chandler: O-kay. I'll see if I can find Ross. (Goes off to find Ross.)
(Cut to Chandler. He's walking around looking for Ross. He sees him kissing a girl next to a vending machine)
Ross: Listen Adrienne, you can't tell Chandler about this.
Adrienne: Oh believe me, Ross, I won't be telling anybody about this.
Ross: Cool! (They start kissing again and Chandler looks shocked)
[Scene: We cut back to the present. The reunion where Chandler and Ross are talking.]
Ross: I didn't know you knew about that.
Ross: (looks disappointed in himself) Man... I... I'm sorry.
Ross: So, eh. I made out with Adrienne and you made out with Missy. Well I guess we're even.
Ross: We are even, right?
Chandler: (sighs) Just one more thing. I was so pissed at you that night that I wanted to get back at you. So I thought, who does Ross like the more than anybody?
Ross: (thinks about it for a few seconds) What did you do to my mom?
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Monica's there and Ross and Chandler walk in.]
Ross: Hey, where's Rachel?
Ross: Did you know Chandler kissed Rachel?
Ross: Nineteen Eighty Seven. The weekend you guys visited me at school.
Ross: Well, it matters to me.
Ross: Because... the night you kissed Rachel was the night I kissed Rachel for the very first time.
Ross: Okay, after you told me she was passed out in our room, I went in there to make sure she was all right. She was lying on my bed, all buried in peoples coats. Well, I went to kiss her on the forehead, you know. But it was so dark, I accidentally got her lips. I started to pull away, but then I felt her start to kiss me back. It was only for a second, but... it was amazing. And now, now I find out that you kissed her first.
Ross: Mine.
Ross: No, she was definitely on my bed.
Ross: Well, then who was on my bed?
Ross: (realizing) NO! No, no!
Ross: You were under the pile of coats?
Ross: OH MY GOD!
Ross: You were my first kiss with Rachel?
Ross: Oh great! Hey-hey Joey, do you want to check out pictures of me and Mona ice skating?
Ross: What? (Glances over and sees the faces of the rest of the group, then goes and sits down.)
Ross: No! Pick me! I dont want to end up an old maid!
Ross: Well umm
Phoebe: Well look-look, okay Ross, Kyle just told me some really bad stuff about her.
Ross: I really wish that you wouldnt.
Ross: Come on!
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang is there, minus Ross. Chandler is trying to cheer Joey up about missing Phase Two.]
[Another set of flashbacks begin with Episode 521: The One With The Ball, Joey and Ross are throwing a ball around.]
Ross: Yes. And another time after that. Boy Im getting hungry! Hey Joey, have you ever been so hungry on a date that when a girl goes to the bathroom you eat some of her food?
Ross and Rachel: Ooohhhh!!
(Ross pans the camera over to Phoebe.)
Ross: All right. I think it was a mouse.
Rachel: Oh wow. Thatyknow what? That is so unfair. Yknow what? Now I want to steal your thunder! Come on Ross, lets go have sex!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]
Rachel: Ross, I really dont think
Ross: I just wanted to tell you something before you heard it from someone else and I hope this isn't too weird, but uh, I had uh, a thing with Janice. (He laughs, his real laugh this time.) What you're-you're not mad?
PHOEBE: I think on my shoulder. [Ross enters]
Ross: God, do you realize in ten years were gonna be 40?
(Joey turns and looks at quite possibly one of the ugliest pets that you can possibly buy on the planet. Rachel has bought herself a hairless cat. Yep, a hairless cat! Joey and Ross start to get sick.)
Ross: (starting it) Woohoo!
Ross: Yes! My babys finally free!
Joey: (laughs that one off) Yeah. So uh Ross, well nowwhy did that first marriage breakup? Was it because the woman was straight or she was a lesbian?
Joey: (crying) Why God?! Why are you doing this to us?! (He buries his head in Rosss shoulder.)
Ross: You wanna buy a car?
Emily: (on phone from London) Hello, Ross?
Joey: Oh, like you've never gotten a little rambunctious with Ross.
Phoebe: I cant follow Ross! Itd be like those bicycle ridding chimps that followed The Beetles. No.
Ross: Whats the matter? You okay?
Chandler: (To Ross) Monica said wedding.
Ross: Okay. Yeah, I guess, I guess I could do that too.
Monica: Okay, so Ross will be doing the reading.
Ross: What? A brain transplant?!
Ross: Its ridiculous!
Ross: But-but, if you dont love this, well do it in any other place at any other time. Really, its fine, whatever you want.
(Rachel, Ross, and Monica exit)
Ross: Okay, I (Walks away.)
Ross: No! And Im not gonna be, so you can save you little speech.
Joey and Ross: No. No.
Chandler: Why is your family Ross?!
[Scene: The Banquet Room, Ross is taking a picture of a plant, Chandler a fork. The band stops.]
ROSS: I'll take it. My gift to you man.
Ross: Ok, Mom never hit.
Ross: Well, as much as Id like to meet Josh and warn him, Emily and I arent going to be here. All right? I mean, shes going to come by first to say good-bye, and then Ive got a whole special evening planned. So Im sorry, no party.
Rachel: What handsome is not your type? Smart? Kind? Good kisser? What those things arent on your list? Ross is a great guy! You would be lucky to be with him!
Ross: I cant believe they-they didnt even tell us!
Paul: Ill call you later. Bye Ross. (Leaves)
Ross: Hey you leave Marcel out of this!
Ross: Yes! Thats where we realized we were both super cool people!
Ross: What?!
Ross: How did you know about that?!
Ross: Why not?
Ross: Were you the ones called the cops?!
Ross: Come on, there are plenty of other women out thereok? Just - just forget about her, ok? Just, she's off limits.
Ross: A lesson in the importance of unagi. (He starts doing the finger thing every time now.)
Ross: Yknow what (Moves away as Chandler enters, panicked.)
Ross: (to Joey) So he's calling from Rome. I could do that. Just gotta go to Rome.
The Woman From Poughkeepsie: (outside Rosss window) Ross? Ross! (she knocks on the window) Wake up! Ross! (the train starts moving) Ross! Ross!! Ross!!! Ross!!!!
Phoebe: Yeah! Or too, you could be two stockbrokers and youre-youre-youre rolling around naked on the trading floor and everybodys watching! (Ross looks at her.) It never happened.
Rachel: (opens her present from Ross; it's a dark-red scarf) Oohh, I love it!
Ross: Hey, you know what I just realized? If you guys ever have kids
Ross: One, two, three, four!
Ross: So?
Ross: You know the song! Sing along!
Ross: You know the song! Sing along!
(Ross throws the bagpipes down in disgust.)
Ross: Well, if hes angry, he really shouldnt just cover it up. I-I wish he would just tell me the truth.
Ross: Hi.
Ross: (to Ben) Okay! All clear!
(Ben starts to go, but Ross stops him.)
Ross: Hi, we have a little bathroom emergency.
Ross: Well, Ben would be there.
Ross: Whats the matter?
Ross: (to Ben) Everything okay in there?
Ross: Oh, she isnt home.
Ross: Joey had an imaginary childhood friend. His name was?
(He goes to sit down next to Ross.)
Phoebe: Ross, you cant tell her not to go. You just started dating.
Ross: Yknow we should probably ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby thats half human and half pure evil!
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
Chandler: Well, she walked in when I was looking at the ring brochures. You can understand that, right? (Ross and Joey look at each other and go back to watching the game on TV.) Guys? Guys? (Walks in front of them again.)
Ross: Yes! Ben learned a little trick.
Ross: Wait, did you get to the part about his 'huge throbbing pens'? Tell ya, you don't wanna be around when he starts writing with those!
Ross: (slowly stands up and says quietly) Excuse me. (Exits.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is there as Rachel storms in.]
Ross: I have a bone to pick with you.
Monica: Emily has probably been planning it since she was five! Ever since the first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. Thats what we did! We dreamed about the perfect wedding, and the perfect place, with the perfect four-tiered wedding cake (Starting to cry), with the little people on top. (Ross gets thrown a box of Kleenex from the bathroom and he gives her one.) Thanks. But the most important part is that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that other stuff was.
[Scene: The hospital. Rachel is pouring her self a cup of coffee. Ross approaches from behind.]
Joey: Ross!! We're having a surprise party for Rachel!!
Monica: Ross! The neighbors ate all my candy!!
Ross: I could ask her to live with me!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is watching a show about the extinction of the dinosaurs.]
Phoebe: Oh, nobody's judging you. (They all turn and look at Ross.)
Ross: What? What? What?! You guys knew? (Joey and Rachel backup against the door.) You all knew and you didn't tell me?!!
Ross: (To Rachel) Do you wanna start telling secrets?
Phoebe: Oh my god! Look, it's Ross and Rachel. Oh, the plan is working.
Ross: All right, let's uh, let's bring it back down and-and try again.
Ross: Okay, Im gonna get your coat and then Ill-Ill put you in a cab.
All: Hey! (They all go hug her, except for Ross.)
Ross: Just a high pitched intimidating noise.