words in movies
Ross: Really? Which one?
Ross: Things you find in the ocean, (to Joey) You're gonna be on "Pyramid"!!
Ross: Except for "Match game"...
Ross: Oh, and Chandler and I have this stupid college alumni thing. I can't believe you get to meet Donny Osmond.
Ross: (very excited) Yeah-uh!
Monica: Ross and I always wanted to be Donny and Marie.
Ross: (singing) "...and I'm a little bit rock 'n' roll"!
[Scene: Class of '91 reunion. Ross and Chandler enter.]
Ross: So weird to see all these people again... Oh my God, look, there's Geoffrey Cleric.
Ross: He was roommates with John Rosoff. He went out with Andrea Tamburino. She dumped him for Michael Skloff.
Ross: Hey, there's Missy Goldberg. You gotta remember her.
Ross: Dude. You're married to my sister.
Ross: Hey, I hear she's single again, d'you think I should ask her out?
Ross: Yes please.
[Flashback, year 1987. Chandler enters the school's corridor. Ross is hanging some flyers on the wall. Both have a funny 80s hair and clothes.]
Ross: Hey. Hey, check out the flyers for the band. I made 'em on a Macintosh in the computer room!
Ross: Thanks to a little something called "Helvetica Bold 24 point"!
Ross: Hey, Missy...
Ross: Yeah, yeah. You should come check us out. We're called "Way! No Way!".
Chandler and Ross: Way!
Ross: Boss!
Ross: She's gone.
Ross: Dude, I was gonna ask her out.
Ross: Well, I thought it first, Holmes.
Ross: Woha! Wait... What are we doing? What we have is too important to mess it up over some girl. I mean, we can get laid anytime we want.
Ross: Me too. I'm good at it.
Ross: You got it.
Ross: Those are the pacts!
Ross: Oh, oh... maybe not you!
[We get back to the Class of '91 reunion, where Ross and Chandler are still looking at Missy.]
Ross: Thank you. (they shake hands) All right, here I go. Hey, remember how scary it used to be going up to girls in college?
Ross: I know, and I can't stop sweating. (he walks towards Missy)
[Scene: College reunion party. Ross is talking to Missy.]
Ross: So, Saturday night!
Ross: Great!
Ross: Oh, well, uh, this is gonna sound kinda silly, but, do you remember my roommate Chandler Bing?
Ross: It's been sixteen years but the air quotes still hurt.
Ross: That's ok. Uh, anyway, well he and I both really liked you a lot, uhm, but we didn't want anything to jeopardize our friendship, so we kinda made a pact, that neither of us could ask you out!
Ross: Yeah, why?
Ross: You did?
Ross: (angrily) AND ON MY TURF?
[Scene: Class of '91 reunion. Ross is walking angrily towards Chandler, who is talking to two other guys.]
Ross: (To Chandler) You made out with Missy Goldberg. How could you do that, after you promised me?
Chandler: (to the two guys) Excuse me. (Chandler and Ross move away from them). That didn't make us sound gay at all!
Ross: You broke the pact!
Chandler: Ross, that was 16 years ago!
Ross: That doesn't matter! We're talking about the foundation of our friendship.
Chandler: I believe the foundation of our friendship was unfortunate hair. (Ross just stares at him) All right, look, if we're really gonna do this... it's not like you never broke one of the pacts.
Ross: I didn't.
Ross: No.
Ross: NO!
Chandler and Ross: Hey! Hey Adrienne. (They move away from her)
Ross: I never did anything with Adrienne Turner.
Ross: I don't know what... you're talking about.
Rachel: Well lets see. Maybe he knows where Ross is. (They walk towards Chandler) Hey, how's it going (tries to look as un-interested in him as possible - checking out her nails).
Chandler: O-kay. I'll see if I can find Ross. (Goes off to find Ross.)
(Cut to Chandler. He's walking around looking for Ross. He sees him kissing a girl next to a vending machine)
Ross: Listen Adrienne, you can't tell Chandler about this.
Adrienne: Oh believe me, Ross, I won't be telling anybody about this.
Ross: Cool! (They start kissing again and Chandler looks shocked)
[Scene: We cut back to the present. The reunion where Chandler and Ross are talking.]
Ross: I didn't know you knew about that.
Ross: (looks disappointed in himself) Man... I... I'm sorry.
Ross: So, eh. I made out with Adrienne and you made out with Missy. Well I guess we're even.
Ross: We are even, right?
Chandler: (sighs) Just one more thing. I was so pissed at you that night that I wanted to get back at you. So I thought, who does Ross like the more than anybody?
Ross: (thinks about it for a few seconds) What did you do to my mom?
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Monica's there and Ross and Chandler walk in.]
Ross: Hey, where's Rachel?
Ross: Did you know Chandler kissed Rachel?
Ross: Nineteen Eighty Seven. The weekend you guys visited me at school.
Ross: Well, it matters to me.
Ross: Because... the night you kissed Rachel was the night I kissed Rachel for the very first time.
Ross: Okay, after you told me she was passed out in our room, I went in there to make sure she was all right. She was lying on my bed, all buried in peoples coats. Well, I went to kiss her on the forehead, you know. But it was so dark, I accidentally got her lips. I started to pull away, but then I felt her start to kiss me back. It was only for a second, but... it was amazing. And now, now I find out that you kissed her first.
Ross: Mine.
Ross: No, she was definitely on my bed.
Ross: Well, then who was on my bed?
Ross: (realizing) NO! No, no!
Ross: You were under the pile of coats?
Ross: OH MY GOD!
Ross: You were my first kiss with Rachel?
ROSS: Okay.� (They sit.)� So, um, Phoebe tells me you, ah, you play piano.
ROSS: (pause) That's okay.� We'll talk about (pause) something else.� (They pause.� They drink.)
ROSS: Um . . . ah . . . you know, I'm divorced.� Um, Phoebe, ah . . . Phoebe said you . . . You've been divorced?
Ross: I guess it all started when Rachel got this new job. (he sits down at the table.)
Janice: Hi! Hi sweetheart! This is my husband Sid, I dont think youve met him. Ross, Rachel, this is Sid. I nabbed him a year ago at the dermatologists office. Thank God for adult acne huh? (Does the laugh.)
Ross: I am like Indiana Jones.
Ross: Well youre gonna be a wonderful grandma. (They hug.)
ROSS: I don't know.� We could look it up.
Phoebe: It does! How would you feel if you couldnt share your cooking? Or-or imagine how Ross would feel if he couldnt teach us about dragons.
Rachel: Okay! Okay! Umm, Websters Dictionary defines marriage as (Ross and Joey start writing.) Okay!! Forget that! That sucks!! Okay, never mind! Forget it! Umm, umm, okay, uh I met, I-I met, I met Monica when we were just a couple of six year olds and I became friends with Chandler when he was 25, although he seemed like a six year old.
Joey: So, between her and me being friends, and her history with Ross, it just isnt going to happen. It would be like you falling in love with a cat.
Ross: Youre fast and irresponsible. That adds up to a bad driver.
PHOEBE: What about Ross?� What about your moment?� Don't you want to talk to Ross about it?
ROSS: So soon?
PHOEBE: Really?� You're moving on from Ross?
ROSS: Okay.� Well, thanks, ah, thanks for the beer.
ROSS: Ah yeah.� Good times.
Ross: (quietly confident) I think we do. Why dont we go inside? (They go inside.) Look uh, I know why youre here.
ROSS: Uh, hi.
ROSS: Maybe you should look up "fascinating."
Rachel: Ross look, look this is good for you. Okay? Lets face it, so far the guys not lovin ya! But I can turn that around! I got the inside track! We can all go out to dinner, yknow? And I can talk you up! Ross, the guy is a very, very successful lawyer!
Ross: (taking the flyer) Apparently Phoebes mother also goes by the name Julio.
ROSS: Oh God.� (He hugs Rachel)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Rachel and Phoebe enter.)
Ross: ...nauseous, I'm physically nauseous. What am I supposed to do, huh? Call immigration? (pauses, looks suddenly inspired) I could call immigration!
[Scene: Ross and Rachels I guess I have to call it that now. Rachel is reading on the couch as Ross enters.]
ROSS: (holds up the message) Uh, Rach.
ROSS: Hey you guys.� (He sits.)
Ross: Oh my God! Rach-Rach, are-are-are you sure?
[Rachel, seeing what he did for her, gets up, walks across the room, and kisses Ross]
Ross: You're really not coming back?
Ross: I can't get *enough* dinosaurs!
Ross: Do you realise that man has cried in our apartment three times...? Huh? I haven't cried that many times since I moved in.
Ross: What, now youre not even taking to me? (moves over to the coffee table) Look Rachel, I-Im sorry, okay, Im sorry, I was out of my mind. I thought Id lost you, I didnt know what to do. Come on! Come on, how insane must I have been to do something like this? Huh? I-I dont cheat right, I, thats not me, Im not Joey!
Ross: Your page said come to the hospital, what? What was it? What happened?
Ross: Dear Mary-Angela. Hi. Hows it going. This is the hardest letter Ive ever had to write. (to Chandler) What the hells a matter with you? How do you think Joeys going to react when he finds out that you blew off his sister with a letter?
(Steve goes over to look at Ross who's trying to look cool, but has some frosting on his lip.)
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear. (Chandler and Ross stare at him) What? Ross, Ross, would you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?
Ross: Oh. (looks at his watch) Oh-oh. (takes a drink of coffee and resumes reading the letter)
Ross: I cant believe someone would do that for a grade.
Ross: Oh my God. Ohh, my little sister and my best friend shaking up. Oh, thats great. Thats great. (Kisses and hugs her.)
Ross: (shocked at her beauty) Cassie?!
[Ross enters, distraught.]
(Mike knocks on Ross's door.� Ross opens it.)
Ross: Okay, how about you flew to London to stop my wedding! Ah, how about you told me you loved me after I was already married!
Ross: Yeah!
Joey: And for Ross, Mr. Sweet-tooth.
Ross: All right everyone, lift! (They and try to lift the car, of course it doesnt raise up) And slide!! (Everyone leans over, but the car still does not move.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Monica, Chandler, and Joey are there as Ross enters with Phoebe.]
Ross: I'm sorry Chandler, but this, this is really important to me.
(Ross turns around and walks back to Ben.)
Ross: (to Chandler) What are you doing?
Ross: Thank you, but, but you, you gotta leave.
Ross: (in a low voice) Answer faster, answer faster!
Ross: Oh, nothin much. Just trying to figure out what Im gonna do for dinner.
Ross: Look, Chandler, its my joke. But, hey, if it makes you feel any better they dont print the name, so it doesnt really matter who gets credit, right?
Ross: I could, yeah, I can do that.
Ross: (in the same low voice) Answer better, answer better!
Rachel: Alright thanks, oh Ross could you stop by the coffee house and get me a muffin?
Ross: Hey you know what? You know what? To avoid this little thing in the future, let's just say, you and me, never having sex again.
Ross: Thats right, I love you! And-and Im gonna play with you all the time.
Ross: (To Monica) Youre drunk! Mom and dad are gonna be maaaaadd! Maybe Im a little drunk.
Rachel: Ross, thank you. Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie?
Phoebe: (interrupting) Uh-huh, me too. Ross, maybe I should've specified that I'd be needing a grown up doctor.
Ross: Oh yeah, nobody knows. And we're not supposed to ask.
Ross: Oh my god...
Ross: Wow, it really is!
Ross: Well isnt there something you can do to earn a little extra money? I mean, cant-cant you pick up, I dont know, an extra shift here?
Ross: Oh, hey...
Rachel: I hate when Ross is right!
Ross: Hey you guys!
Ross: Just then or-or all the time, cause we-we have jobs yknow.
Ross: Yeah.
Rachel: (gasps) Who got married?! (Ross is as surprised to hear this as she is.)
Ross: Okay, (gets the money) so, do you make the pizzas in one of those uh, wood-burning ovens?
[Time Lapse, Ross and the woman are now in a state of partial undress and are standing in front of the head librarian with two security guards watching them.]
Ross: Yeah. The bartender said that they split up into two search parties, the herbivores and the carnivores. (pause) You know, we as a group are not the coolest.
Joey: I cant believe Ross went out with Rachels sister! When Chandler made out with my sister I was mad at him for 10 years.
Ross: Oh, I'm sorry, did I say "invest it"? I meant "be cool and piss it all away" (Joey and Chandler pleased)
Ross: Okay. Now-now-now should I climb down your front so were face to face or-or should I climb down your back so were-were butt to face.
Monica: Ross used to stay up every Saturday night to watch Golden Girls!
Ross: Oh nothing. Nothing! Just uh, youve been a little short with me lately. Im not trying to irritate you.
Ross: Whats uh, whats going on? Do you not, do you not like Katie?
Ross: What are you, a child?
Ross: (grabbing back his coffee) If the place you are referring too is being in love, then she is in the same place as me because I am not in that place!
Ross: Thats impossible! I mean we have had a deal for years! We-we-we shook on it, although believe me she wanted to do a lot more than that.
Ross: I am, yes.
Ross: You-youre gonna get married?! I mean Were gonna be brothers-in-law! (They hug.)
Ross: Whazzup??
Ross: Hey... I made up that joke and told it to you! (He points at Chandler. Joey gestures to Ross "What are you doing?)
Ross: Umm say, I-I opened this earlier (The privacy screen) but let me give you guys some privacy.
Ross: We have to stop them before something happens!
Ross: Where the hell are Joey and Molly? I asked you to watch them.
(Ross gets out of the bathroom, sees Chandler)
Ross: I hate Chandler, the bastard ruined my life. (Rachel starts looking around and down, with a 'What the hell is going on?' look on her face.)
Ross: Thanx.
(Ross and Chandler walk in, Joey looks disappointed)
Ross and Chandler: Come on! Joe!
(Mike leaves.� Ross closes the door behind him.)
Chandler: Hey, can I talk to you about this groomsman thing? If you pick Ross, he'll walk you down the isle just fine. But if you choose me, you'll be getting some comedy!