words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are there, Joey is demonstrating a card trick.]
Ross: Real magic does exist.
Ross: Ah, somebodys at the door on the ceiling.
Ross: Hey Chandler, theres a party tomorrow, youll feel better then.
Ross: Oh, somebodys feeling better.
Rachel: (entering, to Ross) The most unbelievable thing happened to me today.
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Wow!
Ross: What, so this guy is helping you for no apparent reason?
Ross: And hes, hes a total stranger?
Ross: Huh. Sounds like Mark Something wants to have some sex.
Ross: Well, Im just saying, I mean why else would he just, y'know, swoop in out of nowhere for no reason.
Ross: Hey, Joey. Are men ever nice to strange women for no reason?
Ross: Thank you. (to Rachel) So did you ah, did you tell Mark Something about me?
Rachel: I didnt have to, because I was wearing my I heart Ross sandwich board and ringing my bell.
Ross: Uh-huh.
(Cut to Ross and Monica)
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Yeah. So um, I-I heard about this ah, Mark guy that ah, Rachel met today.
Ross: Oh yeah! So ah, kinda pretty, pretty good. He sounds like a nice, good guy.
Ross: Thats excellent.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]
Ross: (to Rachel) So, hes just a nice guy. You really think this Mark doesnt want anything in exchange for helping him?
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: (to Rachel) You see what men do! Dont tell me men are not nice! (points to Chandler) This is men!!
Ross: Which one is Gina?
Ross: Thats okay.
Ross: Hey, Joey.
Ross: Ah, which, which one?
Ross: Mary-Angela.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is reading a letter that Chandler wrote.]
Ross: Dear Mary-Angela. Hi. Hows it going. This is the hardest letter Ive ever had to write. (to Chandler) What the hells a matter with you? How do you think Joeys going to react when he finds out that you blew off his sister with a letter?
Ross: All right, look, look, youve got to do this yourself, okay in person. At least you know her name. You just go to the house and you ask for Mary-Angela, okay, when which ever one she is comes to the door, you take her for a walk, you let her down easy.
Ross: Where in Cuba?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are there.]
Ross: Bummer.
Rachel: (to Ross) Yeah, right. Look at you, youre practically giddy.
Ross: No, Im genuinely sorry the Mark thing didnt work out. Look, Rach, I want only good things for you.
Ross: But, you, you dont want to seem too pushy.
Monica: (to Ross) Honey, its not pushy, he gave her his home number.
Ross: (to Rachel, as she gets his number) What, he gave you his home number? As in like, to, to his home?
Ross: Thats right good things, that-that is what I said. (glances at Monica)
Rachel: (on phone) Hello, Mark? Hi, its Rachel Green. (listens) Oh no, dont you apologize. (listens) Yeah, Ill hold. (to Monica and Ross) He left my number at work, but he was helping his niece with her report on the pioneers.
Ross: That is so made up!
Ross: There you go.
Ross: Yeah well, if I know Mark, and I think I do, Id expect nothing less.
Ross: High collar and baggy pants say Im a pro.
Ross: You go get em. (to Monica) What did I do to you? Did I hurt you in some way?
Ross: Why dont you call him?! Well, thank you very much! Y'know now he is going to prep her, y'know prep her, as in what you do when you surgically remove the boyfriend!
Ross: Am I! Am I! Am I out of my mind! Am I losing my senses!! This dreamy guy is taking my girlfriend out for a meal.
Monica: What?! Ross y'know this isnt even about you! I mean this is about Rachel and something wonderful happening for her. I mean you know even if youre right, what if he wants to sleep with her, does it mean he gets too?
Ross: No.
Ross: Well, yeah!
Ross: (shyly) You grow up.
[Scene: A lobby, Ross is waiting for Rachel, after her interview.]
Rachel: (getting of the elevator and noticing Ross) Hey!
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Ah y'know, this building is on my paper route so I... (gives her a flower)
Ross: Hi. (kisses her)
Ross: Howd did it go?
Ross: Im so proud of you.
Ross: Listen, Im ah, Im sorry Ive been so crazy and jealous and, its just that I like you a lot, so...
Ross: Yeah.
Rachel: (to Ross) Oh my God!! (she turns around and hugs Mark, not Ross)
Ross: Congratu!! (sees her hug Mark) -lations-lations.
Ross: Maybe hes just jumping on a pogo-stick and really likes it?
Ross: Maybe the pogo-stick likes it too?
Ross: Ah, well all go. (motions to Chandler) Come on. (the guys leave)
Ross: (in his head) Shes your cousin. Shes your cousin! If she knew what was going on in your head shed think you were sick! (She grabs some popcorn.) Or would she? Lets back up a second. She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine. She was the one who turned down the lights. She was the one that wanted to rent Logans Run, the sexiest movie ever. (She grabs the blanket from behind him and looks at him.) Oh, I know that look. Forget it. I want it. She wants it. Im going in.
Ross: That's not a thing!
Ross: Listen, you are hearing one side of the story, okayand F.Y.I she mustve shown Kyle over 30 paint samples before she painted that room! And his response to each one was, "I dont give a tiny rats ass."
Ross: Hey Mon, that was really nice of you to loan Rachel your car so she could go and get the cake.
(Amy looks at Ross, angrily. Rachel clearly doesn't understand what he meant and looks at Ross who gestures "later".)
Ross: I can't believe you'd rather go out with him than me.
Ross: Pheebs, what's wrong?
Ross: Hey! (she turns to him) Well...? (in expectation)
Ross: Of course you would, your brains are smaller than mine!! (Rachel nods) Man, I can't compete with the guys she goes out with, they are so out of my league! oh my God!
Ross: I have to talk to her about this groomsman situation, ok? I'm not gonna watch Chandler up there while I'm sitting in the seats like some chump! (he goes to Rachel's room, knocks the door and enters the room). (very fake gasp) Oh! My God! You're breathtaking!
Ross: (to Charlie) Hey!
Ross: Yeah. Why?
Ross: Your ex-boyfriend?
Ross: Well, if you think it would help.
Ross: Ok, now, is there anything I can do to... you know, butter him up? Anything he really likes?
Ross: We'll see how dinner goes.
Ross: (taping Joey with the cam) Hey, there is uncle Joey!
Ross: How come its always us left in the field holding the ball?
[Sequence 4: Ross hikes the ball to Chandler, and the camera pans down to show Rachel standing deep in the end zone, playing with her gum. Something hits her on the head and she looks up to see where it came from.]
RACH: Oh my God. Oh my God Ross, no, hang up the phone, give me the phone Ross, give me the phone, give me the phone, give me the. . . [jumps the couch and lands on Ross's back, finally getting the phone from him. Ross has a confused expression on his face.]
(They disappear into the bedroom leaving Ross standing in the living room holding Susans coat.)
Ross: I'm ok.
Ross: Perhaps I can persuade you. What if you can give your son this (Takes a huge egg out of his back) genuine pterodactyl egg (whispers) replica.
Benjamin (to Ross): You weren't there!
Ross: What?
Ross: Did you just say "break up with Charlie"?
Ross: No!
Ross: Are you serious?
Ross: (Rolls his eyes) I guess!
Ross: See? I told you something good would come along. And he seemed really nice. I've met him before?
Ross: Oh come on!!
Ross: No, but I want...I want the pinecones!
Ross: (Sarcastic) No! Stop!
Ross: (Skeptical) Really?
Ross: Crazy!
(Ross shakes his head)
Ross: (Yelling) Get out! (Benjamin leaves)
Ross: I have to break up with Charlie?
Chandler: Ross, what're you... what're you... what are you doing? (looks at laptop screen)You're having a memorial service for yourself!?
Mark: Sure, sure. (To Ross) What's with the chair. (Rachel signals him not to mention she's been fired)
Ross: Monica told me you had a blind date.
Ross: Damnit!
Joey: Come on, Chandler, Ross is our friend. He needs us right now, so why don't you be a grown up and come and watch some TV in the fort!
Ross: (annoyed) May 12th?
Charlie: I'm sure he was just joking, Ross.
Ross: What?
Ross: or...
Ross: (indignant) No!
Ross: Well, Kathy gets half-naked and simulates sex with a real good lookin guy.
Ross: Okay, that's it. WE ARE SEEING OTHER PEOPLE!
Ross: Hey you guys!
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: (skating over, embarrassed) Ok!... Uh... excuse me? Yeah?
Ross: Hey, what are you doing?
[Scene: The hallway, Ross is coming up the stairs as Phoebe leaves Joey and Chandlers.]
Sandy: Like in my last job, I met Daniel when he was three weeks old. And I got to watch him grow into this awesome person... When I left, I said: I'll see you soon... And he said to me: Skdandy... (Ross and Rachel look puzzled) That was his name for me... I'll see you every day... right in... (points at his heart, but starts to cry before he can finish his sentence. Rachel tries to comfort him, but Ross has this "you've got to be kidding me" look all over him)
Ross: Wow! This picture of you sure is steamy.
Ross: Oh, good!
Ross: (he enters) Hi!
Ross: Seriously?
Ross: Be-caaauuuse...
Phoebe: No-no, thats not, thats not me Phoebe, thats her pal Phoebe. According to her high school yearbook, they were like B.F.F. (Ross and Bonnie look at her quizzically) Best Friends Forever.
Rachel: Ross, those things go like 40 miles an hour! Ok? When you're... and there is that moment when you are at the top, when you just don't know if you're gonna return back to earth!
Rachel: That was one time, Ross, and they were only like 5 milligrams.
Ross: Ok.
Ross: Here we go! (He starts pushing Emma)
Ross (to Emma): Ready sweety?
[Fade to Black, then fade in again with Ross stopped at the doorway.]
Ross: See, I told you!
Ross: Oh, absolutely!
(Rachel stands up and kisses Ross. He is stunned. A moment of silence follows.)
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
Ross: Okay, Im sorry, this is insane! I-I-Im not addicted to heroin, Im not gay, and there is no problem with my ability to consummate anything! Look, Ill consummate this marriage right here, right now!
Ross: Well that stinks. I was looking forward to us wearing our celebrity tuxes together.
Rachel: Oh, oh Ross, oh my God, are you okay?
Ross and Rachel: Hmmmm .
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there except for Rachel and Ross, who both come storming in. Rachel is still going off about Rosss secret marriage.]
Ross: Good.
Rachel: (returning) Wait-wait-wait, I just thought of another story about how nice Ross is!
Ross: Yeah, um, okay see, you were, you were on the list but my friend, Chandler (Chandler waves) brought up the very good point that you are international, so I bumped you for Wynona Rider, local.
Ross: A-a-and... record.
Ross: I've got to say you guys, that's an incredible gesture!
Ross: Small... (Rachel comes back into the living room and catches Ross mocking her.)
[Scene: Benjamin's office. Ross and Charlie are entering.]
Ross: Wait a minute; you don't think it was intentional? I mean, that's just stupid.
Ross: (nervously) Ok...
Ross: See?
Rachel: ROSS!
Ross: Are you kidding?
Ross: Rach, you can't call people at three in the morning.
Phoebe: (singing) Happy Chanukah, Monica! May your Christmas be snowy, Joey! Happy New Year, Chandler and Ross. Spin the draddle, Rachel!
Ross: So?
Ross: Guess where they are?
Ross: Did I do something to you?
Ross: Hey! Hey, guess what Joey has!
(Ross and Joey enter)
Ross: Dude, I wanted him to guess.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: (deadpan) Well, Im going to take off. (To Chandler) Congratulations man.
Ross: He's right, man.