words in movies
(They try to stop him, not sure of what he's planning. He ignores them and goes to talk to Ross.)
Ross: (hopping) 73! 72! 71!
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
Ross: What?
Ross: Well, who's gonna kiss my sister.
Ross: Awww, man! Really?
Ross: That's a good point.
Ross: Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
Ross: All right.
Joey: Pheebs! Pheebs! Ross wants to kiss you at midnight!
Ross: Well, everyone's gotta kiss someone. You can't kiss Ross you got the history.
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Ross: (To Phoebe) Happy New Year, Pheebs!
Ross: Y'know what? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no divorces in '99!
Ross: Just the one divorce in '99! Y'know what, I am gonna be happy this year. I am gonna make myself happy.
Ross: Everyday I am gonna do one thing that I haven't done before. That my friends is my New Year's resolution.
Ross: In fact, I'll bet you 50 bucks that you can't go the whole year without making fun of us. Eh, y'know what, better yet? A week.
Chandler: I'll take that bet my friend. And you know what, paying me the 50 bucks could be the "new thing you do that day!" (Ross looks at him.) And it starts right now!
Ross: Ohh.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is talking to a beautiful woman as Chandler and Joey enter.]
Ross: Okay! (She leaves.) (To Chandler and Joey.) Hey!
Ross: I just asked that girl out.
Ross: Yes it is. See. (Shows them the piece of paper she gave him with her name and phone number on it.)
Ross: That's right, uh, Elizabeth Hornswoggle.
Ross: Hi, Pheebs!
Ross: Oh-oh, guess what? I-I have a date with Elizabeth (Talking into Chandler's ear.) Hornswoggle.
Ross: All right, see you later.
Ross: (entering, with Ben) Hi!
Chandler: (notices something) Ross is wearing leather pants! Does nobody else see that Ross is wearing leather pants? (Pause, no one speaks.) Someone comment on the pants!
Chandler: That's not what I had in mind! See, people like Ross don't generally wear these types of pants. You see, they're very tight. (Motions to Ross's buttock.) Maybe there's something in that area.
Ross: Oh see, I-I needed a new thing for today and there's this leather store that always smells so good and I thought to myself, "Wow, (To Chandler) I never really owned a good smelling pair of pants before."
Ross: (after he's left) Okay, seriously, what do you think?
(Monica starts taking pictures of Ross and Ben, with the flash.)
Ross: What are you, what are you doing?
Ross: What, to blind my child?
[Scene: Elizabeth Hornswoggle's apartment; Ross is there on his date with her. They are sitting on the couch watching a movie. Ross is obviously hot.]
Ross: (talking to himself) My God! These pants are burning up! (He's still wearing the leather pants.) (She snuggles closer.) Oh come on, she wants to snuggle now! What is she trying to kill me? It's like a volcano in here! (Out loud.) Are you hot?
Ross: Okay, it must just be me then.
Ross: That was just the pants on the couch. Umm, hey, do you, do you mind if I use your bathroom?
Ross: Thanks. (Gets up and as he does so, the sound returns. Without another word he heads into her bathroom.)
[Cut to Elizabeth Hornswoggle's bathroom, Ross frantically pulls his shirt out and drops his pants. He exhales in sheer ecstasy as the coolness of the bathroom envelops his legs. He sits on the cast iron bathtub, again gasping in pleasure. He next grabs a magazine and starts to blow air on his exposed legs, but that doesn't work the way he wants it to. So he throws the magazine down, looks around for another idea, and finds one. He jumps up and hops to the sink. He turns on the water and starts to splash some on his legs, cooling them further.]
Ross: (in ecstasy) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh .
Ross: 'Kay!
Ross: Oh my God!
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Ross: (calling from Elizabeth's bathroom) Joey, it's Ross! I need some help!
Ross: Well, you can help me!
Ross: Listen, I'm in Elizabeth's bathroom
Ross: No, I-I got really hot in my leather pants so I took them off but they must have shrunk from the-the sweat or-or-or my legs expanded from the heat. Look, I-I can't put them back on. I can't!
Ross: Powder! Yeah! Yeah, I have powder! (Grabs some of her shelf.)
Ross: Yeah, okay, hold on! (He puts the phone down and proceeds to spread a large amount of powder on his legs and makes another attempt at pulling up his pants. It doesn't work, and without picking up the phone leans down to it.) (Almost in tears.) They're not coming on man.
Ross: Ohh, I-I see lotion, I have lotion! Will that work?
Ross: Hold on.
(Ross proceeds to apply copious amounts of the lotion on his legs. He literally starts spraying the back of his legs with the lotion, and as he applies some to his butt he makes a happy face like he enjoyed that sensation. After using about half the bottle he again tries to pull up his pants, but at the first sign of resistance, his hand slips off of the pants and hits him in the forehead.)
Joey: Ross? You okay?
Ross: They're still, they're still not coming on man and the lotion and the powder have made a paste!
Ross: What difference does that make?!
Ross: Dude, what am I gonna
Joey: (To Ross) Uh, Rachel's here, so good luck man, let me know how it works out. (He hangs up the phone and strands Ross in the bathroom.)
Elizabeth: Ross, umm, you've been in there for a long time. I'm starting to get kinda freaked out.
Ross: All right, I'm coming out. Hey, can you turn the lights off.
(Ross opens the door and steps into the living room. He has fully removed his pants and holds them wrapped into a ball in front of his crotch. His legs are covered in the powder and lotion paste. He looks terrible.)
Ross: I had a problem.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is returning from his horrible trek back home without pants on. The whole gang is there.]
Ross: This year was supposed to be great! But, it's only the second day and I'm a loser with stupid leather pants that don't even fit!
Ross: Look at me! (Chandler squeaks in an attempt not to make fun of him.)
Monica: Hey, hey, look. Look Ross, Ben drew a picture of you! (Shows him Ben's picture.) Huh? You're-you're a cowboy!
Ross: Oh, be-because of the leather pants.
Ross: Maybe I should get another pair! Ooh, y'know, they-they had some with fringe all down the sides. (Chandler starts rubbing his temple again.) I'm gonna go kiss Ben goodnight. (He starts to head for Monica's bedroom.) I can't believe he thinks I'm a cowboy. (Pause.) I would make a good cowboy. (He struts into Monica's room.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Monica are there.]
Chandler: (entering) Oh good, okay, I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore. So you win, okay? Here! (Hands him the 50 bucks he's about to owe him.) Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship so that you can get back to your home planet! And Ross, phone call for you today, Tom Jones, he wants his pants back! And Hornswoggle? What are you dating a character from Fraggile Rock?! (He sits down and sighs in relief.)
Ross: Great! Uh, let me take this up for you. (The box hes holding.)
Chandler: Yeah, listen. Okay, before you do anything Joey-like, you might wanna run it by err... (he indicates Phoebe, who is helping Ross understand the remote control.)
Ross: Oh my God, the wedding book?! I havent seen that since the forth grade!
Ross: Hi! Listen uhh, this cat belongs to a little girl. There are flyers all over the place.
Rachel: Well it happened about six weeks ago, and uh I had just got home from work and Ross was already there cause I guess he had been hanging out with Joey.
Ross: Oh yeah! So ah, kinda pretty, pretty good. He sounds like a nice, good guy.
Carol: (on phone) Phoebe hang on a second Ross wants to say something. (listens) What? (listens) (to Ross) You slept with someone else?!
Ross: Believe me, it seems like less because they hid it from us for so long.
Ross: (pause) Not on the ones we sent out.
Ross: Once Monica was sent to her room without dinner, so she ate the macaroni off a jewelry box shed made.
Ross: Really? Ive been thinking, this is crazy, I mean dont, dont you think we can work on this?
Ross: I know, it�s the first time, we�re leaving the baby and � hey, I know how hard it is for you, but � but Emma is gonna be fine. My mom is gonna be with her. She�s great with kids.
Ross: Well, eww. What? Is it a pimple?
CHANDLER: Ok, while Ross is on the phone, everybody owes me 62 bucks for his birthday.
Ross: You know how you throw your jacket on a chair at the end of the day?
Ross: Whoa-whoa-whoa! Emily, (Gives her the time-out signal.) honey, okay?
Carol: Ross, you're being silly. I've tried it, it's no big deal. Just taste it. (Holding out a bottle.)
[Scene: The Chinese Restaurant, Ross and Carol are talking. Kristin is not there.]
Joey: (gets up) All right. Don't look at my list, Ross, 'cause there's a lot on there that you don't have.
Ross: Okay, what does it mean?
Ross: Yeah, well excuse me for wanting to be with my girlfriend on our anniversary, boy what an ass am I.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Chandler is reading a magazine as Ross hands him a beer.]
Ross: Yeah, all right, its a date. (He leaves)
Ross: I hate America! When I finish this game, I swear I am moving.
[Monica and Chandler make What was that? gestures. Joey and Ross go into Rachels old room.]
[Time lapse. Ross and Joey are cleaning the table while Judy and Phoebe talk by the window. Jack and Chandler are sitting on the couch while Monica sits on the coffee table.]
Ross: Mom, yknow what? I-I cant deal with this right now. Im sorry
Ross: (to Joey) How 'bout instead you, go get changed! (to Chandler) You, give him back his underwear! I'm gonna go get a cab, and I want everyone down stairs in two minutes! Monica!
Monica: Heads up Ross! (Monica scores on Chandler and Joey) Score! (points at Chandler) You suck!
Rachel: Dont say that I have no sentiment! (Starts to show Ross whats in the box.) This is a movie stub from our first date! This is an eggshell from the first time you made me breakfast in bed! (Holds up a bone) This is from the museum from the first time we were together. Okay, maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter!
Ross: Oh, I uh, I mean, I... dude, I spent the whole conference with Charlie.
Ross: Hi. Im Ross Geller. I live in the building.
Ross: Ooh hey, Emma, daddy has some presents for you okay? Okay? I want you to wait right here. Come here sweetie.
Ross: Phoebe! (He grabs her arm to get her attention.)
Ross: Yeah, we thought we had a monkey, but we-we didn't.
Ross: Umm. Umm, Im-Im just gonna(Closes the privacy screen.)
ROSS: Thanks for letting me tag along tonight you guys.
ROSS: Well, I guess we could tape Entertainment Tonight.
[Cut to Marcel walking along a hallway. He notices a banana on the floor and picks it up. The hand of an unseen person grabs him and carries him away. Then cut to Ross and Rachel on the street outside.]
Ross: Oh, thanks! (Takes it and throws it back into the box and leaves.)
Ross: Hey, I married a lesbian to make you look good!
Ross: No! I talked to Joey on the set, he hasnt heard from him. I-I-I talked to Chandlers parents again!
ROSS: Tell me about it. So what, what's your magic number?
Ross: Yes, yes it is! No, but it's good it'sEmily thinks we should get all new stuff. Stuff that's just ours, together. Y'know brand new.
Ross: You have no idea how much this hurts. (All of the women in the room turn and glare at him.) Keep going! Keep going!
Ross: (To Chandler) All right! All right! All right! (To Joey) We are fixing it.
[Scene: Ross's bedroom. Rachel is putting on her shoes as Ross shows up from underneath the covers.]
Ross: Oh, I can't tell you how great it was to look at the crowd and see your face! I mean... uh, did you know you were (giggles) mouthing the words along with me?
(Ross walks to the back of the plane, where Rachel is.)
Ross: Thank you so much for coming back over.
Ross: (scornful) Grab a spoon. Do you know how long it's been since I've grabbed a spoon? Do the words 'Billy, don't be a hero' mean anything to you?
Monica: Wow! Look at this! (Picking up a shirt.) I cant believe I even fit into this shirt! (She holds it up and it reads: Tyrannosaurus Ross.) (She turns it around and looks at it.) Oh, this is yours. (Hands it to Ross.)
Ross: Ohh, it's Joey! I love Joey! (Hugs him.)
Joey: The thing is cause I live with Rachel Im here for a lot of the stuff, okay? (To Rachel) And Ross Ross is missing everything. So
Ross: (to Rachel) Hey Rach, have you seen Charlie anywhere?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is on the couch and Joey is entering.]
Joey: Phoebe! Were both (points at Ross and himself) your backup?!
Ross: Oh, wait! Wait! Dont you have an audition today? Yeah! Maybe youll get that job!
Ross: Im telling you, I like the food!
ROSS: Why wouldn't I want to come? I had fun at the first wedding.
Ross: (notices the table) HeyOoh! Whats-whats that, dinner stuff? You making dinner?
Ross: All right Emily, as much as I love you, I'm sorry, I can't move to London without Ben.
Ross: Yes, but I've lived here for 25 minutes.
Ross: Look, its just did, did you ever go to a party and think, "Would really anyone miss me if I werent here?"
[Scene: The Reception, Joey is helping Ross walk after Gert got through with him and Mona is looking on concerned.]
Ross: Correct. Her actual favorite movie is...
[Ross goes to look in the magazine Rachel got her recipe from.]
Ross: I mean, I dont feel like I even have a girlfriend anymore.
Ross: Oh. Thanks. Uh, has anyone seen Rach?
Emily: Oh, Liam. (Ross laughs and takes her back.)
Ross: I can't believe this. I can't believe this is happening. I have to give the keynote speech tomorrow! Ok? I have to stand up in front of all these people. What am I gonna say?
[Scene: The Hallway, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel are discussing the note.]
ROSS: (takes the phone, but speaks to Mike) I don't understand what just happened here.
(Rachel motions for Ross to close the privacy screen, which he does.)
RACHEL: Ok, Ross, try to hear me. Ok, I, hey, I'm not gonna lie to you. Ok, it was good with Paolo.
Rachel: Okay. Okay honey, hes fine, hes fine, lets just put him down. Come here, Ben. (sets him on the couch) See thats a good boy. (to Monica) How could you do that to him!! Ross trusted me, what is he going to say?!
Ross: Thats the day youre gonna die? Seedarnit, Ive got shuffleboard that day.
Ross: No! No I cant. I mean Rachels out with some guy. My baby went with her. If anything that picture keeps moving further away.
Ross: (singing) Hey, hey, you're my baby, and I can't wait to meet you. When you come out I'll buy you a bagel, and then we'll go to the zoo.
Ross: You come out there, you're a dead man.
Ross: I dunno, there's just something about...
Chandler: Well, Ross and Emily arent gonna use it.
Ross: (worried) Dude, I need to talk to you a sec.
Ross: (sees Joey) Hey. (walks into the living room) Uh, Chan, can I uh, can I talk to you for a second?
Rachel: Oh, look at the little cat! (a small kitten is on the roof behind Ross)
Ross: No, but Chandler, hello... Aren't you scared of dogs?
Ross: A ferry? My baby is going on a ferry? Do you have any idea how dangerous those are?!
Chandler: Hey Ross, I was wondering if Oh my God!! Where are all the men???
Ross: Oh yeah! Wasnt she uh (Does the international sign for big boobies.)
Monica: All right, Chandler can make boxes, Ross can wrap, and Joey can lift things. Now Phoebe, go tell the guys they have to help out!
Rachel: Yeah, but its okay, because when Ross left Mark came over.
Ross: I-I-am(Suddenly Ross starts screaming and comes falling down the stairs landing just in front of Rachel.)
Joey: But hey, Ross, this place is available now!
Ross: Hey! What do you guys think about this. "Ross: The Divorce-Force".
Ross: This isn't what I ordered! Man! Can anything go right in my life?! First my marriage falls apart and then
Ross: Okay, all right, Ill take you. Ill go call Joan. (Does so.)
Rachel: Ross! I just had a conversation with her, and she said that she and Joey made a deal!
Ross: Im understanding, but lets not get carried away.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are standing around the table drinking champagne as Ross enters.]
ROSS: Woah. Huh. You know about my, I mean, you know I had... you know?