words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are on the couch talking. Phoebe is getting coffee.]
Ross: Hey, yknow whats weird? After you guys get married, when you introduce me to people youre gonna have to say, "This is my brother-in-law Ross." Not, "My friend Ross," "brother-in-law Ross." Thats weird isnt it?
Chandler: Couldnt I just say, "This is Ross?"
Ross: (disappointed) Sure, do whatever you want.
(Phoebe sits down between Chandler and Ross.)
Monica: (entering, carrying a newspaper) Hey Ross! So, I was checking out the uh, real estate section
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Oh, it looks like mom and dads house. Oh, it even has a tree with a broken limb out front and the uh, the window in the attic is Oh my God!!
Ross: I cant believe they-they didnt even tell us!
(Ross calls his parents on his cell phone.)
Ross: (on phone) Uh, hello dad! Monica and I just saw the house in the paper! (Listens) Yes were surprised! (Listens) Who did you leave a message with?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Ross and Monica are still going on about the house.]
Ross: I cant believe we have to say goodbye to the house we grew up in. Man, some-some strangers gonna be living in my room.
Ross: They kept your room for a while.
Ross: Come on, you know they love you.
Ross: I was their first born! They thought she was barren! Its not my fault.
Ross: Hey.
Ross: Whats wrong with this year?
Monica: That was me and Ross.
Ross: Hey, yknow if you want to pick up some extra cash? Some friends of mine made good money doing telemarketing.
Phoebe: Yeah and yeah, and it would probably be better than the last telephone job I had. Yknow, I probably wouldnt have to say spank as much. (Monica and Ross are shocked.)
Ross: What?
[Scene: Ross and Monicas parents garage, Ross and Monica are arriving to go through their things. Mr. Geller is in the garage.]
Ross: Dad?
Ross: (entering with Monica) Hey!
Ross: Dad, we-we cant believe youre selling the house.
Ross: (To Monica) Lets grab our stuff and get the hell out of here.
Ross: Yeah, not as much as you used to love to play uncooked batter eater.
Ross: Wow! Great! (Finds a pack of cigarettes.) Wait, dad who-whos cigarettes are these?
Mr. Geller: I dont know. They-they must be your mothers, but please, please dont ask her. Ill throw these away. (He puts them in his pocket as Ross finds something of interest in one of his boxes.)
Ross: Cool! Dad! My report cards! Hey, check this out dad, (reading his grades) Math, A. Science, A. History, A. Gym (He puts it away and finds something else.) Oooh, my rock polisher!
Ross: Its a clown kit! Clown kit!
Ross: What?
Ross: How are you ever going to sell this place?
Ross: Oh no. Dad! Dad! What (He goes to open one of her boxes and it rips apart.) Oh God everythings ruined! Dad, shes gonna be crushed!
Ross: No!
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, continued from earlier. Ross and Mr. Geller are still deciding what to do.]
Ross: Dad that wont matter to her. Look, all my stuff is safe and dry and all her is-is, is growing new stuff! See, this is exactly the kind of thing that makes her think you guys love me more than you love her.
Ross: Well, can you blame her?
Ross: Dad, dad I dont want to hear about it.
Ross: Well, not right now. Okay look, Monica came here for some memories and damnit, were gonna give her some! Okay, grab grab some empty boxes. Okay? Well-well take stuff from mine and whatever we can pass off as hers well-well put em in their.
Ross: Like uh yknow like this! This! (He picks up one of those art projects that kids make in kindergarten and first grade.) She-she couldve made this!
Ross: Right? And this! (He picks up a trophy) She-she couldve won this!
Ross: Sure! Ooh-ooh, what about this?
(Ross angrily throws the kit into one of Monicas new boxes.)
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, Mr. Geller and Ross are finishing up recreating Monicas memories as Monica enters.]
Ross: Hey.
Mr. Geller: (overacting) Thats a good one! Do you hear that Ross? Three days!
Ross: (overacting as well) Yeah! Yeah! (Laughs.) Oh, this will make a great memory.
Ross: Well, these. These are yours right here. (Pointing to the boxes they just created for her.)
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, oh you loved that thing. You always had it with you. You never went anywhere without-without that coloring book.
Ross: Nu-uh! (Grabs it and examines it.)
Monica: Wow! Look at this! (Picking up a shirt.) I cant believe I even fit into this shirt! (She holds it up and it reads: Tyrannosaurus Ross.) (She turns it around and looks at it.) Oh, this is yours. (Hands it to Ross.)
Ross: Oh, I dont know how that got in there.
Monica: (holding up a small cowboy hat) This isnt mine. (Sets it down and looks at the rest of the boxes.) Hey, this isnt, this isnt my stuff! Ugh, Ross! (Grabs and holds up a doll.) These are your boxes! Where are my boxes?
Ross: Umm, your boxes are umm
Ross: Dad?
Monica: So why-why wasnt Rosss stuff ruined? (Pause) And if you say the words medical marvel Im going to Easy Bake your head!
Monica: So wait, Rosss stuff is fine, but I have no memories because you wanted to keep the bottom two inches of your car away from water!!!
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Screw it! Im having one. (Takes out and lights a cigarette.)
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, Monica is picking through her ruined childhood heirlooms with Ross.]
Ross: All right. I think it was a mouse.
(Monica screams, throws the mouse down, and rubs her hands on Rosss sweater to clean them.)
Monica: How do you think I am?! Youve wrecked all my childhood memories. You love Ross more than me. And I just rubbed a dead mouse on my face!
(Ross gets up to let his dad sit next to Monica.)
Mr. Geller: Sweetheart, we love you just as much as Ross! Now, Im sorry about everything that happened and Id probably never be able to make it up to you, but heres a start. (He hands her a small box.)
Ross: (even more shocked) What?!!!
Ross: Well w-w-w-w-wait, w-wait, wait, wait a minute! I mean a couple of stupid boxes get wet and she gets a Porsche?!
Ross: Well, what about me?! Im a medical marvel!!
Ross: Why do they keep doing that?
Ross: What? No! Of course, of course I do! Are-are they gone?
Ross: (on the phone) Hi, this is Ross Geller in suite 206. It seems you forgot a couple of things. Could you have some complimentary toiletries sent up to my room? (pause) Thank you! Ok. Toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, mouthwash, deodorant, dental floss, band aids, shaving cream, after shave... and I feel like I am forgetting something... Is there anything else you have that I haven't asked for already? (pause) Yeah, go ahead, send up some tampons.
Ross: Ooh, somebody's getting a little fussy.
Ross: Slides are almost ready.
Ross: What?
Ross: Really?
ROSS: OK, see ya later, nice meeting you. [man leaves] You're welcome.
Ross: LookOkay, Im just gonnaIm gonna have to go find him and bring him back! Okay? You-you make sure Monica does not find out, okay?
Ross: Oh, whatever. (Laughs and gives Joey the thumbs up heading back to his apartment. Joey follows him)
Ross: Oh no-no-no, were just two people who happen to run into each other here at the coffee house. (He winks at her.)
Ross: Hey everybody!
Ross: (angrily) Ben! (Pause.) (Happily.) I mean, Ben! Ben!
Ross: Hey uh, this is Elizabeth.
Ross: Bye.
Ross: Well thanks!
Rachel: (starts to cry) Ross, please, I found the magazines!
Joey: Dahhhhh!! (Ross has a puzzled look on his face.) No! Noooo!! (Storms off.)
Ross: No, but it is frowned upon.
[Cut to Rosss second wedding reception, Joey has just told him the band is ready with Rachel looking on.]
Mrs. Geller: Here, sweetie, here. I took these when I had my golfing accident. (Hands Ross a bottle of pills. Then turns to Monica and pats her hair over her ears)
Ross: But, Elizabeth and I are-are both adults and so I dont think theres really anything you can do about it.
Ross: Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Were not 13 anymore.
Ross: Oh, okay. What-what about?
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa, ho, ho, ho, you did not win the game, the touchdown didnt count, because of the spectacularly illegal, oh and by the way savage nose breaking.
Ross: Oh-ooh!
Ross: Joey, I did not break this! Okay? (He opens the freezer and smells inside and recoils in disgust.) That has been broken for a while.
Ross: What the hell are you doing?
Phoebe: No!! wait, wait, wait!! Oh please, hold it up so I can listen. (Joey looks at Ross and holds the phone above Rosss shoulder.)
Ross: Yes. Yes! Please, come in.
Ross: Do not give him any money!
Ross: That! Lets talk about that.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Whats-whats the difference?
Ross: Hey, I think Elizabeth is a little more serious than, "Spring break!" (Imitates the party noise.) All right? I mean shes taken my class!
(Monica starts taking pictures of Ross and Ben, with the flash.)
Ross: Oh I, I dont-I dont think that would be the best idea.
(They turn back around to see the baby Monica's carrying, but then they realise what the surprise is. Ross, Mike, Phoebe and Rachel gasp and stare at Chandler and his baby. Joey hasn't figured it out yet.)
Ross: Its all right! Everythings gonna be all right.
Ross: 'That' would be Marcel. You wanna say hi?
Ross: So honey, this morning was fun, huh? Me hopping in on you in the shower there.
(Ross returns.)
Chandler: (To Ross) Well, there you are! So what did Elizabeth say?
Ross: Then what am I supposed to do?
Ross: Okay, she cant go.
Ross: Is this?!
Elizabeth: Ross, are you okay?
Ross: I know. (Rachel bends down to Emma and Ross looks over his shoulder again, afraid)
Rachel: (opening mail) Can you believe what a jerk Ross was being?
Rachel: Ross said my name. Okay? My name. Ross said my name up there that obviously means that he still loves me! (They both just stare at her.) Okay, dont believe me, I know Im rightdo you guys want to go downstairs and get a drink?
Ross: Let's not talk about losing. Just deal the...
Chandler: Oh, Ross, when you make out card; be sure to make it out to, EM-I-LY.
Ross: So uh, have a great time down there.
Ross: Really?
Carol: Youre a genius, Ross.
Ross: We were drunk! I wouldve married uh, Joey with that amount of alcohol!
Ross: Call me!
Ross: Okay. Cool.
Phoebe: Oh, well get in line missy. (To Ross) So, can I have a ride stud?
Ross: Okay. He was more embarrassed about that than anyone. Okay? And for him to have the courage to walk back in here like nothing happened...
Ross: Well I-I-I dont care how hot it is its-its uh, its wrong.
Joey: How come you have two? Chandler: Well this one's for you. Joey: Get out. Chandler: No, I can't. No-no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, (Puts bracelet on Joey) it's about you and me and the fact that we're (Reading bracelet) best buds. Joey: Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies. Chandler: That's what they'll call us. [The next one is from Episode 618: The One Where Ross Dates A Student.]
Ross: I mean, uhm... you know when I was growing up he was kind of a tough guy... You know a-a-and as a kid I wasn't the athlete I am now.
Ross: I knew it! I knew it! I always knew she liked him! Y'know, shed say no, but here we are! Right? We just broke up, first thing she does!
Ross: Hey Erica, welcome back to town! (pause) Wow, look how big you've gotten.
Phoebe: I still cannot believe youre engaged! (Ross looks at her) Just cause its happening so fast; not cause youre such a loser.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Ross is playing with Emma on the couch after just changing her diaper.]
Ross: Excuse me?
Ross: I got it at Pottery Barn!! Okay?!
Ross: (calls Julie back) Hi? Sorry, we got disconnected... (Walks away.)
Ross: Totally!
Ross: Great!
Ross: Wow!
Ross: Its your turn.
Ross: Hey, yknow what? Not all spring breaks are like that.
Ross: (Yells) Damnit! (Goes to the door to leave. Rachel just enters, sees him and starts laughing)
Ross: (stops laughing) What am I doing?
Ross: Oh, I love that guy! (Laughs.)
(Joey and Ross exchange looks.)
Ross: Oh my God!
Ross: Yeah, um, I don't know if you noticed, but he had a lot to drink, and you know how he gets when he's drun..uh... (He has caught sight of Joey scowling at him) I can't do this, I did it, it was me, I'm sorry, I kissed your mom.
Ross: You ate my sandwich?
Ross: You-you-you-you (trying to remain in control) threw my sandwich away!
Ross: (getting upset) Oh-oh really?
Ross: Ni-chou chi-ma! (walks onto jetway)
Ross: (entering) Okay Pheebs, I know how we're going to figure this out. Okay, clear your mind and answer the first thing that comes into your head. Okay?
Ross: I know when Im 90 shell be like 80 and it wont seem like such a big difference.
Joey: Uh-uh, excuse me, I do have to interrupt on Rosss behalf. I-I think the rule applies here yknow, since she has a chance to get on broad back
[Cut to Ross and Emily standing by the foosball table.]
Rachel: Oh no, I really dont want any(He takes the picture)Oh! Thank you. Oh. Oh Ross
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is answering the door in his robe.] CHAN: No, no, no, no, no, no [opens door to Monica] No. Monica, it's Sunday morning. I'm not running on a Sunday. MNCA: Why not? CHAN: Because it's Sunday. It's God's day. MNCA: OK, if you say stop, then we stop. CHAN: OK, stop. MNCA: No, c'mon, we can't stop, c'mon, we've got three more pounds to go. I am the energy train and you are on board. Woo-woo, woo-woo, woo-woo [Chandler walks out of the apartment, leaving Monica] Woo. [Scene: Rachel and Monica's apartment. Rachel is taking asprin. Ross enters.] ROSS: Hey Rach. RACH: Ahhhh. ROSS: Oh. And how was the date? RACH: Umm, I think there was a restaurant... I know there was wine. . . [Rachel looks at Ross as though she remembers something, but can't place what it is.]
Ross: Oh yeah, we're uh, yeah we're not together. (He starts backing out of the store.)
Ross: All right, did you just say all right?
Ross: What?
Ross: What?
[Scene: A Street, Chandler and Ross are at a newsstand.]
Ross: I fell asleep!
Ross: Aw forget it, its from Pier One. (Theres an angry knock on the door.) Sorry. (Goes and opens the door to an irate Dr. Green.)
ROSS: So don't, I don't see why we have to go to this thing anyway, it's your ex-fiancee's wedding.
Ross: Thanks Aunt Pheebs. Hey, you didn't microwave that, did you, because it's breast milk, and you're not supposed to do that.