words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are on the couch talking. Phoebe is getting coffee.]
Ross: Hey, yknow whats weird? After you guys get married, when you introduce me to people youre gonna have to say, "This is my brother-in-law Ross." Not, "My friend Ross," "brother-in-law Ross." Thats weird isnt it?
Chandler: Couldnt I just say, "This is Ross?"
Ross: (disappointed) Sure, do whatever you want.
(Phoebe sits down between Chandler and Ross.)
Monica: (entering, carrying a newspaper) Hey Ross! So, I was checking out the uh, real estate section
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Oh, it looks like mom and dads house. Oh, it even has a tree with a broken limb out front and the uh, the window in the attic is Oh my God!!
Ross: I cant believe they-they didnt even tell us!
(Ross calls his parents on his cell phone.)
Ross: (on phone) Uh, hello dad! Monica and I just saw the house in the paper! (Listens) Yes were surprised! (Listens) Who did you leave a message with?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Ross and Monica are still going on about the house.]
Ross: I cant believe we have to say goodbye to the house we grew up in. Man, some-some strangers gonna be living in my room.
Ross: They kept your room for a while.
Ross: Come on, you know they love you.
Ross: I was their first born! They thought she was barren! Its not my fault.
Ross: Hey.
Ross: Whats wrong with this year?
Monica: That was me and Ross.
Ross: Hey, yknow if you want to pick up some extra cash? Some friends of mine made good money doing telemarketing.
Phoebe: Yeah and yeah, and it would probably be better than the last telephone job I had. Yknow, I probably wouldnt have to say spank as much. (Monica and Ross are shocked.)
Ross: What?
[Scene: Ross and Monicas parents garage, Ross and Monica are arriving to go through their things. Mr. Geller is in the garage.]
Ross: Dad?
Ross: (entering with Monica) Hey!
Ross: Dad, we-we cant believe youre selling the house.
Ross: (To Monica) Lets grab our stuff and get the hell out of here.
Ross: Yeah, not as much as you used to love to play uncooked batter eater.
Ross: Wow! Great! (Finds a pack of cigarettes.) Wait, dad who-whos cigarettes are these?
Mr. Geller: I dont know. They-they must be your mothers, but please, please dont ask her. Ill throw these away. (He puts them in his pocket as Ross finds something of interest in one of his boxes.)
Ross: Cool! Dad! My report cards! Hey, check this out dad, (reading his grades) Math, A. Science, A. History, A. Gym (He puts it away and finds something else.) Oooh, my rock polisher!
Ross: Its a clown kit! Clown kit!
Ross: What?
Ross: How are you ever going to sell this place?
Ross: Oh no. Dad! Dad! What (He goes to open one of her boxes and it rips apart.) Oh God everythings ruined! Dad, shes gonna be crushed!
Ross: No!
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, continued from earlier. Ross and Mr. Geller are still deciding what to do.]
Ross: Dad that wont matter to her. Look, all my stuff is safe and dry and all her is-is, is growing new stuff! See, this is exactly the kind of thing that makes her think you guys love me more than you love her.
Ross: Well, can you blame her?
Ross: Dad, dad I dont want to hear about it.
Ross: Well, not right now. Okay look, Monica came here for some memories and damnit, were gonna give her some! Okay, grab grab some empty boxes. Okay? Well-well take stuff from mine and whatever we can pass off as hers well-well put em in their.
Ross: Like uh yknow like this! This! (He picks up one of those art projects that kids make in kindergarten and first grade.) She-she couldve made this!
Ross: Right? And this! (He picks up a trophy) She-she couldve won this!
Ross: Sure! Ooh-ooh, what about this?
(Ross angrily throws the kit into one of Monicas new boxes.)
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, Mr. Geller and Ross are finishing up recreating Monicas memories as Monica enters.]
Ross: Hey.
Mr. Geller: (overacting) Thats a good one! Do you hear that Ross? Three days!
Ross: (overacting as well) Yeah! Yeah! (Laughs.) Oh, this will make a great memory.
Ross: Well, these. These are yours right here. (Pointing to the boxes they just created for her.)
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, oh you loved that thing. You always had it with you. You never went anywhere without-without that coloring book.
Ross: Nu-uh! (Grabs it and examines it.)
Monica: Wow! Look at this! (Picking up a shirt.) I cant believe I even fit into this shirt! (She holds it up and it reads: Tyrannosaurus Ross.) (She turns it around and looks at it.) Oh, this is yours. (Hands it to Ross.)
Ross: Oh, I dont know how that got in there.
Monica: (holding up a small cowboy hat) This isnt mine. (Sets it down and looks at the rest of the boxes.) Hey, this isnt, this isnt my stuff! Ugh, Ross! (Grabs and holds up a doll.) These are your boxes! Where are my boxes?
Ross: Umm, your boxes are umm
Ross: Dad?
Monica: So why-why wasnt Rosss stuff ruined? (Pause) And if you say the words medical marvel Im going to Easy Bake your head!
Monica: So wait, Rosss stuff is fine, but I have no memories because you wanted to keep the bottom two inches of your car away from water!!!
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Screw it! Im having one. (Takes out and lights a cigarette.)
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, Monica is picking through her ruined childhood heirlooms with Ross.]
Ross: All right. I think it was a mouse.
(Monica screams, throws the mouse down, and rubs her hands on Rosss sweater to clean them.)
Monica: How do you think I am?! Youve wrecked all my childhood memories. You love Ross more than me. And I just rubbed a dead mouse on my face!
(Ross gets up to let his dad sit next to Monica.)
Mr. Geller: Sweetheart, we love you just as much as Ross! Now, Im sorry about everything that happened and Id probably never be able to make it up to you, but heres a start. (He hands her a small box.)
Ross: (even more shocked) What?!!!
Ross: Well w-w-w-w-wait, w-wait, wait, wait a minute! I mean a couple of stupid boxes get wet and she gets a Porsche?!
Ross: Well, what about me?! Im a medical marvel!!
Chandler: Ross?
Monica: Ross, are you okay?
(Phoebe tries to throw some quarters out the window, but she has forgotten to open the window, and she and Ross scream.)
Ross: Practical jokes.
Ross: Pheebs, did you want a cookie?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are sitting at a table. Rachel is working. Monica and Phoebe enter.]
Rachel: Look! (Shows Ross the picture.)
Ross: You slept with my sister?
Ross: Yeah, what's going on?
Joey: They're so small! (Both he and Ross look at them with satisfied looks on their faces.)
Ross: I can't believe Chandler is missing this!
Ross: My God Monica!!
Ross: I love you. (goes to kiss her and she turns away.)
[The next one is from Episode 712: The One Where Theyre Up All Night, Joey and Ross are deciding how to climb down the final part of the fire escape.]
Rachel: (entering) Forgot my purse! (Sees them kissing.) Oh, you guys made up. (To Mona) Hes a good kisser isnt he? (Ross goes to close the door on her.) Im going! (Quickly leaves and Ross locks the door.)
Ross: Oh no, not yet.
Chandler: No, you kidding? The guy's a freak.. (Ross enters off camera)
Ross: Mmm-Unmm.
Ross: So what, we just sit?
Ross: You have a line down your face.
[Scene: Flight 1066 to Athens, Rachel is ordering a drink for Ross and herself.]
RACHEL: Hi. [Ross turns to Rachel and they hug]
Parker: (laughs) Classic Ross. Rachel, Rachel, oh how you glow. May I? (Puts hand on her stomach)
Phoebe: (answering the phone) (whispering) Ross, thank God.
Ross: The guy who took Rachel to the prom? Why is he calling you?
[Scene: Hallway, Ross and Rachel are returning from dinner.]
Ross: Or that.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: And it can't be Joey.
Ross: Or Joseph.
Rachel: All right. Look. Gavin...I...I guess I felt guilty that you were here, which I shouldn't. You know Ross and I are not inany relationship but...he is the father of my child, and you know we do live together and plus there is just so muchhistory...you know it's just...I don't know, I'm sorry, I'm just all over the place.
Ross: Yeah. Look, you don't, you don't talk about like, you know, your girlfriend and the intimate stuff you, you do with her.
Monica: Ross didnt scare you?
Ross: No seriously. I have job security for life. You know, I never have to worry. (Rachel starts crying) Oh, look at you. Look how happy you are for me.
Ross: Oh.. you don't get it! (Passes out and slumps across her)
Ross: Oh-oh, yeah.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Uh, you weighted 200 pounds.
Ross: Oh fine.
Ross: Joey's not going.
Ross: No, no, thats funny. But maybe its time to move on, let it go, yknow? Stop it! Besides, Rachel is going out with Elizabeths father, so ah, hes much older than she is. Looks like Im not the only one interested in fossils, huh?
[Scene: Rosss classroom, he has just finished his lecture and the students are filing out.]
Ross: So uh, Emily just went to the airport.
Ross: Oh no, I have plans with Elizabeth.
Rachel: Oh Ross, you're so great. (she playfully rubs his head and gets up)
Ross: Believe me, if I did see with someone, there’s no way I... (Phoebe starts pinching him again)
Ross: Man, look at all those stars! (Yeah, you can see what? Five of them from the city?) Infinite space. It really, really makes you wonder, doesnt it?
RACHEL: Oh, Ross, you had to, I mean, he was humping everything in sight. I mean, I have a Malibu Barbi that will no longer be wearing white to her wedding.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are playing chess and are both studying the board intently.]
Ross: Actually its more like this. (Pushes her hands to less than an inch apart.)
(Ross just stares at him until he figures it out.)
[Cheryl walks away and Ross walks inside. Everyone stares at him in disbelief.]
Ross: No, a car backfired, but (Rachel suddenly calms down) I thought somebody was taking a shot at me. And Rach, I I survived! And I was filled with this-this great respect for life. Y'know? I-I want to experience every moment. I want to seize every opportunity. I-I am seeing everything so-so clearly now.
Ross: Yay!
Ross: Hey man.
ROSS: Here, go nuts. [gives him the Slinky and goes and sits with others at the couches]
Chandler: I am sorry, Ross.
Ross: Fine! No more dinosaur stuff! Can I talk about fossils? (Joey is about to sit down and hears this so instead he groans and exits.)
Chandler: (To Ross) I'm sorry too.
Ross: Okay, let's go.
Ross: What?
Ross: (hopping) 73! 72! 71!
Ross: All right.
Ross: Ohh! Thank you! I like mail. (He goes to kiss her again, but she turns away.)
Ross: That's a good point.
ROSS: I don't get it, he seemed so happy to see me yesterday.
Ross: I dont know, I could maybe go out for a couple of beers, but theres this thing about bumblebees on The Discovery Channel that I was planning to watch.
Ross: Ohh.
(Ross and Chandler look at each other and hug as well.)
Ross: Okay! (She leaves.) (To Chandler and Joey.) Hey!
Ross: Hi, Pheebs!
ROSS: Um-hmm. [puts them on] I have a condition, apparently, that I require two different sets of focals.
Ross: Because tomorrow he's redoing yesterday's pages.
Ross: All right, see you later.
Ross: (entering, with Ben) Hi!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is on the couch reading as Rachel enters. Its the next day.]
Ross: Thats all Im askin
Ross: Oh absolutely! It has been in my family for generations, and every bride who has worn it has had a long and happy life.
Ross: What are you, what are you doing?
Ross: (jumping to his feet in anger) What?
ROSS: What's going on, is... uh, Bobby drinking again?
Ross: Okay, it must just be me then.
Ross: 'Kay!
ROSS: Tuesday right. Ok, bye you guys.
Ross: Oh my God!
ROSS: Even though you do do a good Bob impression, I'm thinkin' when she sees you tomorow, she's probably gonna realize, "hey, you're not Bob."
Ross: Yeah! Got it! (slams the phone down, and walks back to the bar.)
Rachel: Yes, I know! And Joey knows! But Ross doesn't know so you have to stop screaming!!
Ross: Hold on.
Joey: Ross? You okay?
Ross: If it does? Then you're an amazing friend of mine.
Ross: Well, the doctor says he's gonna be fine, he's just sleeping now.
Ross: I know I am! (Ross now starts to cry) ...And when it's summer, and it's hot, why can't you wear a tank top?
Ross: (angrily) I knew you were gonna throw that in my face!! That was three years ago! She apologized and she apologized! What more do you want?!!
Ross: I had a problem.
JOEY: [to Ross] You're getting a cat?
Ross: No-no, we talked about it. We dont want to know. All we care about is that its happy and healthy.
Ross: I wasn't- I mean, I-
Ross: You know what, he's a big boy, I'm sure he'll find us, ok?
ROSS: Yeah, I know, it's my birthday. We all should be here.