words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are on the couch talking. Phoebe is getting coffee.]
Ross: Hey, yknow whats weird? After you guys get married, when you introduce me to people youre gonna have to say, "This is my brother-in-law Ross." Not, "My friend Ross," "brother-in-law Ross." Thats weird isnt it?
Chandler: Couldnt I just say, "This is Ross?"
Ross: (disappointed) Sure, do whatever you want.
(Phoebe sits down between Chandler and Ross.)
Monica: (entering, carrying a newspaper) Hey Ross! So, I was checking out the uh, real estate section
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Oh, it looks like mom and dads house. Oh, it even has a tree with a broken limb out front and the uh, the window in the attic is Oh my God!!
Ross: I cant believe they-they didnt even tell us!
(Ross calls his parents on his cell phone.)
Ross: (on phone) Uh, hello dad! Monica and I just saw the house in the paper! (Listens) Yes were surprised! (Listens) Who did you leave a message with?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Ross and Monica are still going on about the house.]
Ross: I cant believe we have to say goodbye to the house we grew up in. Man, some-some strangers gonna be living in my room.
Ross: They kept your room for a while.
Ross: Come on, you know they love you.
Ross: I was their first born! They thought she was barren! Its not my fault.
Ross: Hey.
Ross: Whats wrong with this year?
Monica: That was me and Ross.
Ross: Hey, yknow if you want to pick up some extra cash? Some friends of mine made good money doing telemarketing.
Phoebe: Yeah and yeah, and it would probably be better than the last telephone job I had. Yknow, I probably wouldnt have to say spank as much. (Monica and Ross are shocked.)
Ross: What?
[Scene: Ross and Monicas parents garage, Ross and Monica are arriving to go through their things. Mr. Geller is in the garage.]
Ross: Dad?
Ross: (entering with Monica) Hey!
Ross: Dad, we-we cant believe youre selling the house.
Ross: (To Monica) Lets grab our stuff and get the hell out of here.
Ross: Yeah, not as much as you used to love to play uncooked batter eater.
Ross: Wow! Great! (Finds a pack of cigarettes.) Wait, dad who-whos cigarettes are these?
Mr. Geller: I dont know. They-they must be your mothers, but please, please dont ask her. Ill throw these away. (He puts them in his pocket as Ross finds something of interest in one of his boxes.)
Ross: Cool! Dad! My report cards! Hey, check this out dad, (reading his grades) Math, A. Science, A. History, A. Gym (He puts it away and finds something else.) Oooh, my rock polisher!
Ross: Its a clown kit! Clown kit!
Ross: What?
Ross: How are you ever going to sell this place?
Ross: Oh no. Dad! Dad! What (He goes to open one of her boxes and it rips apart.) Oh God everythings ruined! Dad, shes gonna be crushed!
Ross: No!
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, continued from earlier. Ross and Mr. Geller are still deciding what to do.]
Ross: Dad that wont matter to her. Look, all my stuff is safe and dry and all her is-is, is growing new stuff! See, this is exactly the kind of thing that makes her think you guys love me more than you love her.
Ross: Well, can you blame her?
Ross: Dad, dad I dont want to hear about it.
Ross: Well, not right now. Okay look, Monica came here for some memories and damnit, were gonna give her some! Okay, grab grab some empty boxes. Okay? Well-well take stuff from mine and whatever we can pass off as hers well-well put em in their.
Ross: Like uh yknow like this! This! (He picks up one of those art projects that kids make in kindergarten and first grade.) She-she couldve made this!
Ross: Right? And this! (He picks up a trophy) She-she couldve won this!
Ross: Sure! Ooh-ooh, what about this?
(Ross angrily throws the kit into one of Monicas new boxes.)
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, Mr. Geller and Ross are finishing up recreating Monicas memories as Monica enters.]
Ross: Hey.
Mr. Geller: (overacting) Thats a good one! Do you hear that Ross? Three days!
Ross: (overacting as well) Yeah! Yeah! (Laughs.) Oh, this will make a great memory.
Ross: Well, these. These are yours right here. (Pointing to the boxes they just created for her.)
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, oh you loved that thing. You always had it with you. You never went anywhere without-without that coloring book.
Ross: Nu-uh! (Grabs it and examines it.)
Monica: Wow! Look at this! (Picking up a shirt.) I cant believe I even fit into this shirt! (She holds it up and it reads: Tyrannosaurus Ross.) (She turns it around and looks at it.) Oh, this is yours. (Hands it to Ross.)
Ross: Oh, I dont know how that got in there.
Monica: (holding up a small cowboy hat) This isnt mine. (Sets it down and looks at the rest of the boxes.) Hey, this isnt, this isnt my stuff! Ugh, Ross! (Grabs and holds up a doll.) These are your boxes! Where are my boxes?
Ross: Umm, your boxes are umm
Ross: Dad?
Monica: So why-why wasnt Rosss stuff ruined? (Pause) And if you say the words medical marvel Im going to Easy Bake your head!
Monica: So wait, Rosss stuff is fine, but I have no memories because you wanted to keep the bottom two inches of your car away from water!!!
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Screw it! Im having one. (Takes out and lights a cigarette.)
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, Monica is picking through her ruined childhood heirlooms with Ross.]
Ross: All right. I think it was a mouse.
(Monica screams, throws the mouse down, and rubs her hands on Rosss sweater to clean them.)
Monica: How do you think I am?! Youve wrecked all my childhood memories. You love Ross more than me. And I just rubbed a dead mouse on my face!
(Ross gets up to let his dad sit next to Monica.)
Mr. Geller: Sweetheart, we love you just as much as Ross! Now, Im sorry about everything that happened and Id probably never be able to make it up to you, but heres a start. (He hands her a small box.)
Ross: (even more shocked) What?!!!
Ross: Well w-w-w-w-wait, w-wait, wait, wait a minute! I mean a couple of stupid boxes get wet and she gets a Porsche?!
Ross: Well, what about me?! Im a medical marvel!!
Ross: Hold on.
Joey: Ross? You okay?
Ross: If it does? Then you're an amazing friend of mine.
Ross: Well, the doctor says he's gonna be fine, he's just sleeping now.
Ross: I know I am! (Ross now starts to cry) ...And when it's summer, and it's hot, why can't you wear a tank top?
Ross: (angrily) I knew you were gonna throw that in my face!! That was three years ago! She apologized and she apologized! What more do you want?!!
Ross: I had a problem.
JOEY: [to Ross] You're getting a cat?
Ross: No-no, we talked about it. We dont want to know. All we care about is that its happy and healthy.
Ross: I wasn't- I mean, I-
Ross: You know what, he's a big boy, I'm sure he'll find us, ok?
ROSS: Yeah, I know, it's my birthday. We all should be here.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Monica are there.]
Ross: And, I dont know, if it starts to rain
Ross: (To Rachel) So umm, where are the other guys?
Ross: of course she has. if she'd never had a serious relationship I'd go round broadcasting it like some unstoppable moron.
Joey: Hey Ross!
Girls: Yes, you're having a boy! (Monica runs over and hugs Ross)
Ross: Hey, at least you have a wife! I-I keep getting divorces and knockin people up! And Im dressed as doody.
Ross: 'Cause, I'm a stupid, stupid man.
Joey: Oh, ah, tour guide at the museum. Yeah, Ross got it for me.
Ross: (visibly nervous) Uh, that, that, that would be a judgment call.
Ross: Uh Dad, Emmas in the nursery. Ill take you now. If you want, but (To Rachel) I really want to talk to you.
Ross: (leaving) I just have to go, all right? Do I need a reason? Huh? I mean I have things to do with my life, I have a jam packed schedule, and I am late- for keeping up with it. Okay?
Ross: I'm fine! I saw a psychiatrist at work today.
Ross: Oh! You are gonna love it! (The girl is looking in the other direction as Ross is taking off his own coat, revealing the pink and white ladies shirt) and I'm so glad, we're finally doing this.
[Scene: The rugby game, Ross is getting killed.]
Ross: No! No! No!
Ross: Yeah. Theres no breaking them up, is there?
Ross: You go get em. (to Monica) What did I do to you? Did I hurt you in some way?
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
Monica: God, I feel so guilty about Ross.
Ross: Its not a big deal? Oh, Im sorry I just um, I what about all the stuff you-you just said? I mean how about, I likeyou-you cant stop thinking about her. Like how you cant sleep?
(Ross enters.)
Ross: Just, y'know out.
Ross: I don't know. Soap?
Ross: It's from Ross, it's a love bug.
Ross: (entering, carrying a basket) Hi!
Rachel: Ross! Janice?!
ROSS: Hey Joey I have to cancel racketball for tonight, that was Marcel's trainer. He's gonna let me have him for a couple of hours.
Ross: I am gonna see her again.
Ross: Yeah, Im-Im sure. (Deadpan) Yeah, get out of here before I change my mind. (She exits)
Ross: (He thinks about it) Of course I am. I just have to make a call.
Ross: (entering) Hey guys!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is reading a cereal box as Ross enters wearing the red sweater.]
Ross: (to Rachel) So, were off.
Ross: All right look, I-I realize it upsets you.
Ross: This couch, is cut in half! I would like to exchange it for one that is not cut in half!
Ross: The game, Rachel, the game. You owe us money for the game.
Ross: You're nose is bleeding!
Joey: Umm, listen, Ross do you really think this moving in with Rachel is a good idea?
Ross: Still I could tell. She was into me. (Joey rolls his eyes.) Well, why dont you set us up?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Janice are sitting on the couch.]
Ross: Thanks!
Ross: Oh
Ross: Huh?
Ross: Dude, we got to talk.
Ross: OH MY GOD!!
Ross: I am now.
Ross: Okay.
Ross: All right.
Ross: Ah, somebodys at the door on the ceiling.
Ross: Ive been back and forth.
Monica: That's because as far as my parents are concerned, Ross can do no wrong. Y'see, he's the Prince. Apparently they had some big ceremony before I was born.
Ross: (walking up with Rachel and carrying coffee) Hey.
Ross: He said he liked that!! Oh youre right, youre right. Im sorry.
Ross: Sorry.
(Ross runs from the table, over the couch but slips and falls onto the floor)
Gunther: Oh, Ross? Ross! You can't put up flyers in here.
Ross: Is everything okay?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, and Ross are sitting on the couch.]
Ross: Look uh, if were gonna do this
Ross: You sang Baby Got Back didn't you?
(Ross does not approve of Chandler's daft theory.)
Ross: All right. (Takes another copy.)
Ross: No-no, one daddy, two mommies. All right, its all yours. (Ross pushes him off.)
Ross: Ehh, I dont, I dont think so. Shes already talked about yknow, dating other guys.
Ross: Coffee sounds great. (They get up) Wait, so, so you live in Montreal?
Ross: Your make-up!
Ross: (seeing the thumbs up) Ahhhh!! (Hugs Rachel tighter.)
Ross: Hey, how are you holding up?
Ross: Okay, gimme my monkey back.
Ross: Then where the hell have you been?!
Ross: Hey. (Phoebe sees his bags)
Ross: What happened?
Ross: Excuse me, do any of you know how to play?
Ross: Wh-what did he say?!
(Ross fastens his seat belt.)
Ross: So, what's going on now?
Ross: (a little embarassed by their conversation) I'm good, I have dinner plans (moves away from them).
Ross: I'm having a baby in here! Ok, everyone stand back. (Walks backwards as if he is going to break down the door, but steps in a bucket and falls) Ow.
Ross: Is that what I want?
Ross: (grabbing a notepad and sitting down) All right, we'll start off slow. The only thing you have to do tonight is come up with the name of your main character.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is watching TV, but turns it off, and Rachel is sleeping on the couch. Ross puts a blanket over her.]
Ross: Oh, we were helping Chandler write his vows, but he kicked us out because Joey kept making inappropriate suggestions.
Ross: (puts his head near the baby) Hello! (to Dr. Franzblau) Oh, sorry.
Monica: Okay its time for the toast! Umm now-now, I know that Ross usually gives the toast, but this year Im going to do it.
Ross: Thats a different issue. Uh, the point is, when the baby comes I will be there to to feed her and bathe her and change her. And more than that I want to do all those things.
Ross: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa, Joey!
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)