words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are on the couch talking. Phoebe is getting coffee.]
Ross: Hey, yknow whats weird? After you guys get married, when you introduce me to people youre gonna have to say, "This is my brother-in-law Ross." Not, "My friend Ross," "brother-in-law Ross." Thats weird isnt it?
Chandler: Couldnt I just say, "This is Ross?"
Ross: (disappointed) Sure, do whatever you want.
(Phoebe sits down between Chandler and Ross.)
Monica: (entering, carrying a newspaper) Hey Ross! So, I was checking out the uh, real estate section
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Oh, it looks like mom and dads house. Oh, it even has a tree with a broken limb out front and the uh, the window in the attic is Oh my God!!
Ross: I cant believe they-they didnt even tell us!
(Ross calls his parents on his cell phone.)
Ross: (on phone) Uh, hello dad! Monica and I just saw the house in the paper! (Listens) Yes were surprised! (Listens) Who did you leave a message with?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Ross and Monica are still going on about the house.]
Ross: I cant believe we have to say goodbye to the house we grew up in. Man, some-some strangers gonna be living in my room.
Ross: They kept your room for a while.
Ross: Come on, you know they love you.
Ross: I was their first born! They thought she was barren! Its not my fault.
Ross: Hey.
Ross: Whats wrong with this year?
Monica: That was me and Ross.
Ross: Hey, yknow if you want to pick up some extra cash? Some friends of mine made good money doing telemarketing.
Phoebe: Yeah and yeah, and it would probably be better than the last telephone job I had. Yknow, I probably wouldnt have to say spank as much. (Monica and Ross are shocked.)
Ross: What?
[Scene: Ross and Monicas parents garage, Ross and Monica are arriving to go through their things. Mr. Geller is in the garage.]
Ross: Dad?
Ross: (entering with Monica) Hey!
Ross: Dad, we-we cant believe youre selling the house.
Ross: (To Monica) Lets grab our stuff and get the hell out of here.
Ross: Yeah, not as much as you used to love to play uncooked batter eater.
Ross: Wow! Great! (Finds a pack of cigarettes.) Wait, dad who-whos cigarettes are these?
Mr. Geller: I dont know. They-they must be your mothers, but please, please dont ask her. Ill throw these away. (He puts them in his pocket as Ross finds something of interest in one of his boxes.)
Ross: Cool! Dad! My report cards! Hey, check this out dad, (reading his grades) Math, A. Science, A. History, A. Gym (He puts it away and finds something else.) Oooh, my rock polisher!
Ross: Its a clown kit! Clown kit!
Ross: What?
Ross: How are you ever going to sell this place?
Ross: Oh no. Dad! Dad! What (He goes to open one of her boxes and it rips apart.) Oh God everythings ruined! Dad, shes gonna be crushed!
Ross: No!
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, continued from earlier. Ross and Mr. Geller are still deciding what to do.]
Ross: Dad that wont matter to her. Look, all my stuff is safe and dry and all her is-is, is growing new stuff! See, this is exactly the kind of thing that makes her think you guys love me more than you love her.
Ross: Well, can you blame her?
Ross: Dad, dad I dont want to hear about it.
Ross: Well, not right now. Okay look, Monica came here for some memories and damnit, were gonna give her some! Okay, grab grab some empty boxes. Okay? Well-well take stuff from mine and whatever we can pass off as hers well-well put em in their.
Ross: Like uh yknow like this! This! (He picks up one of those art projects that kids make in kindergarten and first grade.) She-she couldve made this!
Ross: Right? And this! (He picks up a trophy) She-she couldve won this!
Ross: Sure! Ooh-ooh, what about this?
(Ross angrily throws the kit into one of Monicas new boxes.)
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, Mr. Geller and Ross are finishing up recreating Monicas memories as Monica enters.]
Ross: Hey.
Mr. Geller: (overacting) Thats a good one! Do you hear that Ross? Three days!
Ross: (overacting as well) Yeah! Yeah! (Laughs.) Oh, this will make a great memory.
Ross: Well, these. These are yours right here. (Pointing to the boxes they just created for her.)
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, oh you loved that thing. You always had it with you. You never went anywhere without-without that coloring book.
Ross: Nu-uh! (Grabs it and examines it.)
Monica: Wow! Look at this! (Picking up a shirt.) I cant believe I even fit into this shirt! (She holds it up and it reads: Tyrannosaurus Ross.) (She turns it around and looks at it.) Oh, this is yours. (Hands it to Ross.)
Ross: Oh, I dont know how that got in there.
Monica: (holding up a small cowboy hat) This isnt mine. (Sets it down and looks at the rest of the boxes.) Hey, this isnt, this isnt my stuff! Ugh, Ross! (Grabs and holds up a doll.) These are your boxes! Where are my boxes?
Ross: Umm, your boxes are umm
Ross: Dad?
Monica: So why-why wasnt Rosss stuff ruined? (Pause) And if you say the words medical marvel Im going to Easy Bake your head!
Monica: So wait, Rosss stuff is fine, but I have no memories because you wanted to keep the bottom two inches of your car away from water!!!
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Screw it! Im having one. (Takes out and lights a cigarette.)
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, Monica is picking through her ruined childhood heirlooms with Ross.]
Ross: All right. I think it was a mouse.
(Monica screams, throws the mouse down, and rubs her hands on Rosss sweater to clean them.)
Monica: How do you think I am?! Youve wrecked all my childhood memories. You love Ross more than me. And I just rubbed a dead mouse on my face!
(Ross gets up to let his dad sit next to Monica.)
Mr. Geller: Sweetheart, we love you just as much as Ross! Now, Im sorry about everything that happened and Id probably never be able to make it up to you, but heres a start. (He hands her a small box.)
Ross: (even more shocked) What?!!!
Ross: Well w-w-w-w-wait, w-wait, wait, wait a minute! I mean a couple of stupid boxes get wet and she gets a Porsche?!
Ross: Well, what about me?! Im a medical marvel!!
Ross: Phoebe, I had no idea you were so conventional.
Ross: (entering) Pheebs, you mind if I speak to Rachel alone for a sec?
Ross: Uhm, well... I'm here to see if you'll give Rachel her job back.
Ross: What? (Mumbles) What-what, what are talking about? It-it worked with you.
Ross: (realizing) That is Mark?
ROSS: Looks to me like he's the one getting the job.
Ross: He’ll be fine.
Ross: 15? (Joey nods again) Your personal best! (Ross takes an Oreo and Joey mumbles, no!)
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Ok.
Ross: And I'm Doctor Ross Geller.
Ross: ALL RIGHT!! Phoebe now come on! Will you please tell me what it is I did that mad you so mad at me!
Ross: Wh… wh…what?
Ross: Yeeeah! (They high-five)
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. Rachel’s there and Ross enters the room with a stuffed dinosaur]
Ross: Nooo!
Ross: So, you’re not going to Paris.
(Theres a knock on the door and Ross enters.)
Ross: Close. Ron. (shakes hands)
Rachel: Ah, all right. Here's to Ross!
Ross: (realizing his joke wasn't so good, but still giggling) Look, I took it too far!
Ross: Yes! yes!
Ross: Huh? So? We have a deal?
Ross: Hey!
Ross: What?
Ross: They did?
Ross: So, what are you gonna do?
Ross: Right!
Ross: That's great! So you're staying in New York!
Ross: You're excited, right?
[Scene: Rosss birthday, his car is still trapped in its spot. Now Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are at the front of the car with Monica, Rachel, and Chandler at the rear of the car.]
Chandler: I believe the foundation of our friendship was unfortunate hair. (Ross just stares at him) All right, look, if we're really gonna do this... it's not like you never broke one of the pacts.
Ross: Yeah...
Ross: I really do.
Ross: It's what you want. You should go.
Ross: (after a long pause) You should go.
Ross: Well, fine. Fine! If-if Im the only person with any appreciation of the sanctity of the written word, Ill go up there and defend it myself! (Starts to do so, but stops and to the previous librarian) And dont you follow me!
Ross: Yeah, yeah, oh! (They hug)
Ross: (quickly jumping away from Elizabeth) Yes, professor Feesen-sen-stenlger Ill be with you in one moment. (To Elizabeth) So, I will take one box of the Thin Mints. (And he ushers Elizabeth out of the office.)
Ross: Go away! I don't want to see anybody.
Ross: No! Oh, no-no-no. Hey, you weren't bad, you've been very good, Ben.
ROSS: Well it's really. . . sexy. I wouldn't have thought it would be but. . . wow.
Ross: (He freaks out and starts jumping around brushing his sweater) WHAT? WHERE? WHERE?
Ross: Hey!
(They clink glasses and take a drink. Ross likes it, Joey hates it. Then Ross sees Joey hating it, mimics he hates it as well.)
Ross: Hotel? Why isn't she staying with you guys?
Monica (to Ross): Okay, well, stop staring at them.
Ross: What are you guys doing?
Joey: Try it, I can't feel a thing! (Ross starts punching him too)
Rachel: Hey, thanks Ross, for taking care of all of this.
Ross: Uh actually, sorry I cant even make it. Im seeing Mona again tonight.
[Scene: The Porsche, Rachel is driving along a highway and Ross has finally moved to the death seat and is terrified.]
Ross: Yeah? Yeah, where is it?
Ross: (very angry) Amy, I ju... I just... I just wanna...
Ross: Rock on!
Ross: Hey, where's Rach?
Ross: Bumming hard, guys, bumming hard.
Ross: Great.
Ross: So if you take this job you'll be moving to Paris?
Ross: Here she is!
Ross: Yeah?
Phoebe: Oh, Ross, Mon, is it okay if I bring someone to your parents anniversary party?
Ross: Hey, what do you think they're doing in there?
Ross: Uhm, ministers don't ride the subway for free.
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey. What was that all about?
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are sharing a bowl of popcorn, while Monica carefully reads the instruction manual for her television set.]
Ross: Are you kidding? Oh my God...
Ross: Well it's okay. Chandler is talking to her.
Ross: I don't think so.
Ross: Still-still, let me come... for me.
Ross: Im, Im sorry you didnt get to go to Spacecamp, and Im hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttles Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.)
Ross: Okay, here we go...
Monica: (to Ross) So, I guess you're next. You're ready?
Ross: Yeah...
Ross: Huh?
Ross: Unbelievable. She says goodbye to everyone but me.
(She leaves the apartment and they all stare at Ross)
Phoebe: Ross, if you're this upset, you should go and talk to her.
Ross: No, I don't think so.
Ross: What? I don't get a goodbye?
Rachel: Ross...
Ross: THE HELL I DO!
Ross: I don't get a goodbye?
Ross: Mona umm Clickclocken. The famous botanist? Huh? Oh no shes uhwell shes dead now. No, supposedly she was once quite the hottie of the plant world.
Monica: I hope Ross isn't too upset.
Ross: That's what it seemed like.
Ross: Fine, then why didn't you say something?
Ross: Rach!
(Ross walks over to her and starts to kiss her passionately. After a while Rachel backs out. She thinks a while and starts kissing him back.)
Ross: You keep, you keep... You can't...
Ross: Rach!
Rachel: Oh you're not. You're not gonna get in the middle of anything, don't worry about Ross really, really.(She hears the noise of the key in the lock) Oh! Hide! That's Ross! Hide! Hide!
Ross: Hey.
Ross: Who's laughing now?
Ross: Oh. This was amazing.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is reading some book and Gunther serves him a cup of coffee.]
(Ross enters.)
Ross: What?
Ross: Uh, we, y'know, we worked things out.
Ross: Is Rachel here?