words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]
Joey: I'm tellin' you Ross, she wants you.
Ross: She barely knows me. We just live in the same building.
Ross: She lent me an egg once.
Ross: Aw, right.
Woman: Hi, Ross.
Ross: Hey. (stutters something incoherent)
Chandler: Come on, Ross, you gotta get back in the game here, ok? The Rachel thing's not happening, your ex-wife is a lesbianI don't think we need a third...
Ross: An egg?
Ross: I think it's insane.
(Ross walks over to the woman, egg in hand.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are there. Ross is still talking to the beautiful woman.]
Ross: Hi. She said yes.
Chandler: Yes! Way to go, man! (Chandler and Ross hug. Something crunches in Ross' shirt pocket.) Still got the egg, huh?
Monica: Oh, hi, Ross. Yeah. There's someone I want you to say hi to. (to Chandler) He just happened to call.
Janice: Hi, Ross. Yes, it's me. How did you know? (she laughs obnoxiously)
[Scene: A Chinese Restaurant, Ross is there with his date.]
Ross: I'm just sayin' if dogs do experience jet lag, then, because of the whole um, seven dog years to one human year thing, then, when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles, he doesn't just lose three hours, he loses like a week and a half.
(Ross starts to laugh, and then makes a face like 'Why did I just say that?' Ross' ex-wife, Carol, and her lesbian lover, Susan, enter the restaurant. Ross stares at them.)
Ross: The blond woman is my ex-wife, and the woman touching her is her... close, personal friend.
Ross: If you wanna put a label on it.
Ross: Nope, nope, that's it.
Ross: Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part. (to Carol and Susan) Helloo!
Ross: So, um, what do you do for a living?
Kristin: Well, um, for the past few years I've been working..(Ross is watching Carol and Susan, not listening to Kristin. Susan gets up, and has to go. Carol is left stranded)...which is funny because, that wasn't even my major.
Susan: I thought they could...I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry. (Ross realizes Kristin was expecting him to laugh, so he starts to laugh hysterically.)
Ross: Now that is funny. Hey, do you think...would it be too weird if I invited Carol over to join us? 'Cause she's, she's alone now, and pregnant, and, and sad.
Ross: Are you sure? Great. Carol? Wanna come over and join us?
Ross: Come on. These people'll scooch down. You guys'll scooch, won't you? Let's try scooching! Come on. Come on. Uh, Kristen Riggs, this is Carol Willick. Carol, Kristin. Uh, Carol teaches sixth grade. And, Kristin, Kristin...(struggling)...does something that, funnily enough, wasn't even her major!
[Scene: The Chinese Restaurant, Ross and Carol are talking. Kristin is not there.]
Ross: You did so. I swear, I swear(noticing Kristin's absence) How long has she been in the bathroom?
Ross: Well maybe it's cold in there. Or maybe I screwed up the first date I had in 9 years.
Ross: Oh, god. (He puts his head down on the grill) You know, this is still pretty hot. (He picks his head up, and a mushroom sticks to his head. Carol picks it off and eats it.)
Ross: No, it's just...you know the whole "getting on with your life" thing. Well, do I have to? I mean, I'm sitting here with this cute woman, and, and, and she's perfectly nice, and, but that there's, that's it. And um, and then I'm here talkin' to you, and, and it's easy, and it's fun, and, and I don't, I don't have to...You know, here's a wacky thought. Um, what's say you and I give it another shot? No no no, I know what you're gonna say, you're a lesbian. But what do you say we just put that aside for now you know? Let's just stick a pin in it, ok? Because, we're great together, you know. You can't deny it. Besides, you're carrying my baby. I mean, how perfect is that? But see, you know, you keep sayin' that, but there's somethin' right here. I love you.
Ross: No but, no but.
Ross: That's easy for you to say, you found one already.
(A beautiful woman walks by Ross, he stares at her.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Rachel, Joey, and Monica are sitting on the couch as Ross is up getting some coffee.]
ROSS: What? What's on your shoulder?
Rachel: Well, I... you know, I-I-I don't know what to say... I mean, I never thought of you as a guy who needed his men to be men. You know, 'cause I gotta tell you Ross, it not like you just came in from branding cattle.
ROSS: A tattoo? Why, why would you want to do that? [to Rachel] Hi.
ROSS: Are you trying to get me to bribe you?
ROSS: Alright, shall we?
ROSS: Hi ma.
Ross: (in a mocking voice)Uh...sure I do, and I also wanna be King of my own country and find out what happened to Amelia Earhart.
[Time lapse. The girls have Ross pinned face down. Phoebe is sitting on his back and arms while holding his head down and facing Rachel. Rachel is sitting on his knees and holding his lower legs vertically, causing Ross pain.]
Joey: Have a nice six more months Ross! (Starts to leave.)
Ross: Ow! Ow! Okay, okay, fine, fine! All right, you wanna win by cheating, go ahead, all right. Phoebe the touchdown does count, you win.
ROSS: No, no, I mean, ya know, I, I read a book and there was a girl named Emily and I thought, I thought that might be good.
ROSS: Dad, you really don't want to do that.
RACHEL: Yes I do, it's just that Ross is. . .
Ross: So, your ex-boyfriend is gonna determine if your new boyfriend gets this grant? Wow, your new boyfriend is screwed!
Ross: But also knowing it means a lot.
ROSS: The big book of childrens' names.
Phoebe: Oh, you guys! We've got to keep all the tickets together (takes the bowl from Ross and puts it on the table)
RACHEL: Ok, Ross, Ross, ok listen, what we have is amazing.
RACH: Ross kissed me.
ROSS: Yeah.
ROSS: Mon, Mon, are you OK?
ROSS: Eww.
ROSS: Look at that, they won't even turn their heads.
ROSS: Ohh.
Chandler: Ross! You gotta stop! Okay?! You cant just stare through the peep hole for three hours! Youre gonna get peep eye!
Joey: Let it go, Ross.
ROSS: Yeah.
[Scene: Outside Monas Apartment, Ross is knocking on the door.]
Rachel: Yeah. So don't move, okay? Just stay here and... (nods towards Ross) maybe close your blinds at night.
ROSS: You were in a porno?
RACHEL: Is Ross here?
Ross: Wow, I havent seen her for like forever. I wonder if she still carries that Barbie everywhere she goes.
ROSS: Hey, save us some pizza. [they go off to Rachel's room]
Ross: Im sorry about your date.
ROSS: You got a tattoo?
ROSS: Wha, OK, I'm sorry, let's uh, why don't we find someplace else.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are at the counter as Ross enters.]
ROSS: Ok fine.
ROSS: Get out.
ROSS: We're not done.
Monica: Anyway, Ross and I were always captains, and um, it got kindve competitive and one year, Geller Bowl VI, I accidentally broke Rosss nose.
[Susan approaches Ross, who's looking lonely]
Ross: Im so proud of you.
Ross: (patting his clothes like he is looking for his wallet) No, no hes not.
RACHEL: Yeah well, Ross just made plans for the whole century.
ROSS: Now that's a little spoiled. He was supposed to type "little", the idiot.
Rachel: Oh, look at the little cat! [a small kitten is on the roof behind Ross] Look at it!
Ross: Yeah, well it came to about $112, but what the hell, just call it an even 110?
ROSS: Get the what?
ROSS: Well, ya know, they're a little behind the times in Colonial Williamsburg.
ROSS: [comes out] All yours.
Ross: So they ah, they all took off, it was pretty hard watching them go, y'know?
ROSS: C'mon, just tell me, please, please.
ROSS: [childish voice] Shut up.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Ross enter in sweats carrying rackets.]
Ross: No problem. I cannot wait for you to meet my friends.
ROSS: Good, 'cause I love you.
Phoebe: Yeah and yeah, and it would probably be better than the last telephone job I had. Yknow, I probably wouldnt have to say spank as much. (Monica and Ross are shocked.)
Ross: Thanks. (Joey hugs him) OK.
Ross: (to the crowd in the laundromat) All right, show's over. Nothing to see here. (to Rachel) Ok, let's do laundry.
Ross: What, so this guy is helping you for no apparent reason?
ROSS: Yeah.
Mark: Ive kinda of had this ah, this crush on you. (Rachel is shocked) But since you were with Ross, I-I didnt do anything about it. But, now that youre not, Id really like to ask you out sometime. So-so thats-thats what Im doing, now.
ROSS: Well that's the first time we've said that.
ROSS: OK.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is talking to a man at the counter. Ross and Phoebe are sitting at the couches.]
Ross: (to Joey) It's ok, because they have to get it out of their system, okay (back to Mon and Chan), but you're going to realize, this is the only place, you wanna be.
Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Rachel: Oh yeah, really? Is it Ross? Yeah? Okay, well let me make this a just a little bit easier for you.
(They start to walk into the living room and notice someones head sticking up from behind a chair. The camera cuts to the other side and we see its Ross.)
ROSS: Well, I'm gonna kiss you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is siting on the couch as Ross and Chandler enter after playing basketball.]
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Do you remember the Ludwins? The big one had a thing for you, didn't she?
ROSS: I know.
Joey: (entering with Ross) Hey! You guys! Check it out, check it out! (Hes wearing a blue blazer) Guess which job I got.
Rachel: Yeah! I'm going to Paris. Thank you, Ross!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, there is a knock on the door and Ross opens it to Cassie.]
Ross: Cheater, cheater, compulsive eater.
Ross: Hey...! Rachel and I hired a male nanny.
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is telling Joey and Chandler what happened with Rachel.]
ROSS: Well, Monica keeps changin' the channel.
(Ross comes out of character to glare into the distance.)
ROSS: Really?
ROSS: And that wasn't fun for you?
ROSS: I can do that.
ROSS: What?
ROSS: So you wanna watch uh, Entertainment Tonight?
(She looks at Ross, a bit ashamed. Chandler mimes "big breasts" to Ross and lip syncs "Wow". Ross looks at him, astonished and then Monica looks at Chandler again. A little too late he changes the "big breasts" mime into "rocking a baby". When he realizes Monica might have seen it he also strokes his imaginary baby's head.)
ROSS: What woman?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is working on her holiday song, Chandler is sitting on the couch reading a magazine, and Ross is sleeping on the couch.]
Ross: Hmmm. Oh, no, no, I just thinking about something funny I heard today. Umm, Mark, Mark saying Ill see you Saturday.
[Ross enters]
Rachel: Hello? (Listens) Um, yeah, uh, (snapping her fingers at Ross who takes the remote from Marcel, then turns off the TV) Okay ah, hold on a second, lemme lemme just check and see if see if she's here.
ROSS: No, that, that was, I mean, as opposed to uh, the uh, ok. Is this over yet Rach?
ROSS: No. You're just gonna have to accept the fact that you're just friends now, OK, you're not... rommmates anymore.
Ross: See but, Pheebs that-that is the exact opposite intent of my music. Yknow my music is-is meant to inspire, and if it bothers you this much, then I I wont play anymore.
Ross: Look, dont worry. Okay? Youre gonna be fine.
(He walks over behind Ross, thinks about it for a moment, and gives him a big hug.)
JOEY: But uh, uh, what about uh, Ross and uh. . .?