words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]
Joey: I'm tellin' you Ross, she wants you.
Ross: She barely knows me. We just live in the same building.
Ross: She lent me an egg once.
Ross: Aw, right.
Woman: Hi, Ross.
Ross: Hey. (stutters something incoherent)
Chandler: Come on, Ross, you gotta get back in the game here, ok? The Rachel thing's not happening, your ex-wife is a lesbianI don't think we need a third...
Ross: An egg?
Ross: I think it's insane.
(Ross walks over to the woman, egg in hand.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are there. Ross is still talking to the beautiful woman.]
Ross: Hi. She said yes.
Chandler: Yes! Way to go, man! (Chandler and Ross hug. Something crunches in Ross' shirt pocket.) Still got the egg, huh?
Monica: Oh, hi, Ross. Yeah. There's someone I want you to say hi to. (to Chandler) He just happened to call.
Janice: Hi, Ross. Yes, it's me. How did you know? (she laughs obnoxiously)
[Scene: A Chinese Restaurant, Ross is there with his date.]
Ross: I'm just sayin' if dogs do experience jet lag, then, because of the whole um, seven dog years to one human year thing, then, when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles, he doesn't just lose three hours, he loses like a week and a half.
(Ross starts to laugh, and then makes a face like 'Why did I just say that?' Ross' ex-wife, Carol, and her lesbian lover, Susan, enter the restaurant. Ross stares at them.)
Ross: The blond woman is my ex-wife, and the woman touching her is her... close, personal friend.
Ross: If you wanna put a label on it.
Ross: Nope, nope, that's it.
Ross: Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part. (to Carol and Susan) Helloo!
Ross: So, um, what do you do for a living?
Kristin: Well, um, for the past few years I've been working..(Ross is watching Carol and Susan, not listening to Kristin. Susan gets up, and has to go. Carol is left stranded)...which is funny because, that wasn't even my major.
Susan: I thought they could...I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry. (Ross realizes Kristin was expecting him to laugh, so he starts to laugh hysterically.)
Ross: Now that is funny. Hey, do you think...would it be too weird if I invited Carol over to join us? 'Cause she's, she's alone now, and pregnant, and, and sad.
Ross: Are you sure? Great. Carol? Wanna come over and join us?
Ross: Come on. These people'll scooch down. You guys'll scooch, won't you? Let's try scooching! Come on. Come on. Uh, Kristen Riggs, this is Carol Willick. Carol, Kristin. Uh, Carol teaches sixth grade. And, Kristin, Kristin...(struggling)...does something that, funnily enough, wasn't even her major!
[Scene: The Chinese Restaurant, Ross and Carol are talking. Kristin is not there.]
Ross: You did so. I swear, I swear(noticing Kristin's absence) How long has she been in the bathroom?
Ross: Well maybe it's cold in there. Or maybe I screwed up the first date I had in 9 years.
Ross: Oh, god. (He puts his head down on the grill) You know, this is still pretty hot. (He picks his head up, and a mushroom sticks to his head. Carol picks it off and eats it.)
Ross: No, it's just...you know the whole "getting on with your life" thing. Well, do I have to? I mean, I'm sitting here with this cute woman, and, and, and she's perfectly nice, and, but that there's, that's it. And um, and then I'm here talkin' to you, and, and it's easy, and it's fun, and, and I don't, I don't have to...You know, here's a wacky thought. Um, what's say you and I give it another shot? No no no, I know what you're gonna say, you're a lesbian. But what do you say we just put that aside for now you know? Let's just stick a pin in it, ok? Because, we're great together, you know. You can't deny it. Besides, you're carrying my baby. I mean, how perfect is that? But see, you know, you keep sayin' that, but there's somethin' right here. I love you.
Ross: No but, no but.
Ross: That's easy for you to say, you found one already.
(A beautiful woman walks by Ross, he stares at her.)
Chandler: Oh, Im Ross. Im Ross. Im too good for the Hut; Im too good for the Hut.
Ross: There was just an explosion, okay? My hearing would be impaired.
Ross: Im going to uh Im going to, um, put the bourbon in it at home.
Ross: Look, this is my home and I want to be able to come and go whenever I want!
Ross: You're wrong.
Ross: No, they're not.
Ross: You're wrong.
Chandler: Ross is smart and funny, d'you ever think that about him?
Ross: The big deal is I dont want naked, greasy strangers in my apartment when I want to kick back with a puzzlebeer! Cold beer.
(Ross comes back to the couch.)
Ross: (getting up, upset) I'm calling Mom.
Monica: Hey Ross, maybe if your skin was lighter. Your teeth wouldnt look so bright.
Ross: Well, I'm off to Carol's.
Ross: Hi, is uh, is Carol here?
Ross: You're not serious, I mean, you really... you really talk to it?
Ross: Do you uh, do you talk about me?
Ross: Really?
[Rachel is in the kitchen fiddling with her English truffle. Joey and Ross, anxious to leave and go to Janines party, are egging her on to hurry up.]
[cut back to Ross who finally finishes his so-called song with the same crash from before. He gets some applause, mainly cause hes done.]
(Ross runs out too.)
Ross: That's closer.
(Ross exits.)
Ross: To London! Come to London. Please? Itll mean so much to me.
Ross: (she lets him in) Okay! (to her son) Hey Tommy.
Ross: No-no its not. What-what happened there Ned?
Ross: Oh, we went to see a collection of Victorian doorknobs and the Cupert-Hewitt museum.
Ross: Yeah, thats okay, I mean if you guys all have to go away for the first weekend Im alone by myself, y'know then I totally, totally understand.
Ross: Oh, please. I am not singing to your stomach, ok?
Rachel: Ross!! Oh my--ugh!! You kept count?! You are such a loser!
(Ross enters, singing.)
Ross: Look, what do you want me to do? Do you want me to call everyone in the entire school and tell them it wasnt true?!
Rachel: Because you are my sister and Ross and I have this huge history
Ross: No, us having to lie about being married.
Ross: Oh, she didn't think it would be that big of deal.
Mr Zelner: (Takes a long look at the egg while he considers it) Wow, that's pretty cool (Takes the egg from Ross)
Ross: What? Oh yeah. (He moves next to her head.) Im sorry. I mean I-I think I went a little crazy. I mean I was thinking about myself when I (Wanders towards Rachels feet) reallyI should have been thinking about you Rach
Ross: Yeah, well, you didn't know Chi Chi.
(Ross calls his parents on his cell phone.)
Rachel: I think I'm gonna take off. (pats Ross on his back, but he looks very surprised)
Ross: I find Marions views far to progressionist.
Ross: I know, I know I was, but there was always this little voice inside that kept saying it's never gonna happen, move on. You know whose voice that was?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]
Ross: One more time, "Hey, dont you want a washboard stomach and rock hard pecs?"
Ross: C'mon, this was a pact! This was your pact!
Ross: Laugh all you want but uh, she actually left me a message saying shed like to go out again.
Ross: Okay, look, he's not gonna hurt them, right?
Ross: Woha! Wait... What are we doing? What we have is too important to mess it up over some girl. I mean, we can get laid anytime we want.
Rachel: I don't know. I don't know... I thought about it all the way there, and I thought about it all the way back... and, uh, oh, you guys, y'know, it's Ross. Y'know what I mean? I mean, it's Ross.
Ross: Oh, I thought Joey was here. Five is good. (Gunther leaves, hurt) Well, I'm gonna have a loogie in my coffee tomorrow.
Ross: Four.
Ross: Hey, y'know, this is so not what I needed right now.
Ross: Really.
Ross: No.
Ross: Five. (Buries his head in his hands)
Ross: Right, they are scary. (He jumps up, screaming) Ahh, she just ate a treat out of my hand!!!
ROSS: Ok, ok, you know what? I think you're very funny. Kudos on that hat joke. But, come on guy just, just give him back the hat.
Ross: Oh, come on you guys; thats funny! Yknow? Because hes needhes got like a hearing aide yknow, cause-cause yknow, cause hes all old, and
[We then go into another set of flashbacks of famous fights. The first is the second breakup of Ross and Rachel from The One With The Jellyfish.]
Ross: Uh-uhWow! Uh, I thought you guys were just like making jokes, I had no idea. What you know what? You guys are wrong. Uh yes, there is a chronological age difference but I never notice it. You know why? Because she is very mature. Besides, it doesnt really matter to me what you guys think. I mean, Im the one dating Elizabeth, not you!
Ross: No. No, no. She doesn't want to see you right now.
Ross: You're gonna be an aunt.
Ross: Im-Im gonna wear this all the time! I love this shirt!! (he kisses the shirt)
Ross: It is. Eventually, it kind of... burns out. But hopefully, what you're left with is trust, and security, and... well, in the case of my ex-wife, lesbianism. So, you know, for all of those people who miss out on that passion... thing, there's all that other good stuff.
Ross: Hey, I have a question. Well, actually, it's not so much a question as.. more of a general wondering... ment.
(Ross is still taking photos)
Joey: Good, good yeah, (Grabs the bags) maybe while were there, they can check your reflexes. (Joey opens the door and it hits Ross in the face with it.) (Makes quote marks.) "Oops."
Ross: Oh, oh, we did say wed stop by this little thing Joeys roommate is having.
Rachel: That is great. Hey, yknow who doesnt have to job hunt? Ross. He works at the university.
Ross: So how'd it go?
(Inside the apartment the phone rings.� Ross answers it.)
[Scene: The delivery room, Chandler, Frank, and Ross are with Phoebe.]
Ross: Hi roomie! (Hugs her and looks at Rachel.)
Ross: No, hey, I get that, okay, I get that big time. And Im happy for ya, but Im tired of having a relationship with your answering machine! Okay, I dont know what to do anymore.
Ross: Do you have a point?
Ross: You can live with me.
Ross: Oh, please...
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Ross is absent.]
Ross: What, uh... what juggling thing?
Monica: So wait, Rosss stuff is fine, but I have no memories because you wanted to keep the bottom two inches of your car away from water!!!
Ross: Its just I miss her so much.
Ross: Eh, her-her uncle already had planned on doing it. And yknow, we-we said our good-byes this morning, so
Rachel: (to Ross, who has wandered up) God, he's good.
Ross: Aww. Thank you, Aunt Phoebe.
Jill: Me go out with Ross?! No! God no! What would make you think that?
Ross: (showing the Playboy magazine to Gunther) Oh, hey, Gunther, check this out.
Ross: Nothing. Nothing nothing nothing.
Ross: You had a rough day, huh.. c'mere. (She sits down and Ross strokes her forehead.)
Ross: You're good.
Ross: When?
Ross: Please.
Ross: Right.
Ross: Hey, is Chandler here?
Ross: Uh-oh...
Ross: No, Im serious. You-you need to find out where she is, because if shes not where you are, then you can start to move past this.
Ross: Well, I gotta go. Bye. Bye, Rach.
Ross: Okay.
Ross: What code?
Ross: Hey.
Ross: Do they wait for me to do this?
Ross: Will you make the mashed potatoes with the lumps?