words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]
Joey: I'm tellin' you Ross, she wants you.
Ross: She barely knows me. We just live in the same building.
Ross: She lent me an egg once.
Ross: Aw, right.
Woman: Hi, Ross.
Ross: Hey. (stutters something incoherent)
Chandler: Come on, Ross, you gotta get back in the game here, ok? The Rachel thing's not happening, your ex-wife is a lesbianI don't think we need a third...
Ross: An egg?
Ross: I think it's insane.
(Ross walks over to the woman, egg in hand.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are there. Ross is still talking to the beautiful woman.]
Ross: Hi. She said yes.
Chandler: Yes! Way to go, man! (Chandler and Ross hug. Something crunches in Ross' shirt pocket.) Still got the egg, huh?
Monica: Oh, hi, Ross. Yeah. There's someone I want you to say hi to. (to Chandler) He just happened to call.
Janice: Hi, Ross. Yes, it's me. How did you know? (she laughs obnoxiously)
[Scene: A Chinese Restaurant, Ross is there with his date.]
Ross: I'm just sayin' if dogs do experience jet lag, then, because of the whole um, seven dog years to one human year thing, then, when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles, he doesn't just lose three hours, he loses like a week and a half.
(Ross starts to laugh, and then makes a face like 'Why did I just say that?' Ross' ex-wife, Carol, and her lesbian lover, Susan, enter the restaurant. Ross stares at them.)
Ross: The blond woman is my ex-wife, and the woman touching her is her... close, personal friend.
Ross: If you wanna put a label on it.
Ross: Nope, nope, that's it.
Ross: Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part. (to Carol and Susan) Helloo!
Ross: So, um, what do you do for a living?
Kristin: Well, um, for the past few years I've been working..(Ross is watching Carol and Susan, not listening to Kristin. Susan gets up, and has to go. Carol is left stranded)...which is funny because, that wasn't even my major.
Susan: I thought they could...I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry. (Ross realizes Kristin was expecting him to laugh, so he starts to laugh hysterically.)
Ross: Now that is funny. Hey, do you think...would it be too weird if I invited Carol over to join us? 'Cause she's, she's alone now, and pregnant, and, and sad.
Ross: Are you sure? Great. Carol? Wanna come over and join us?
Ross: Come on. These people'll scooch down. You guys'll scooch, won't you? Let's try scooching! Come on. Come on. Uh, Kristen Riggs, this is Carol Willick. Carol, Kristin. Uh, Carol teaches sixth grade. And, Kristin, Kristin...(struggling)...does something that, funnily enough, wasn't even her major!
[Scene: The Chinese Restaurant, Ross and Carol are talking. Kristin is not there.]
Ross: You did so. I swear, I swear(noticing Kristin's absence) How long has she been in the bathroom?
Ross: Well maybe it's cold in there. Or maybe I screwed up the first date I had in 9 years.
Ross: Oh, god. (He puts his head down on the grill) You know, this is still pretty hot. (He picks his head up, and a mushroom sticks to his head. Carol picks it off and eats it.)
Ross: No, it's just...you know the whole "getting on with your life" thing. Well, do I have to? I mean, I'm sitting here with this cute woman, and, and, and she's perfectly nice, and, but that there's, that's it. And um, and then I'm here talkin' to you, and, and it's easy, and it's fun, and, and I don't, I don't have to...You know, here's a wacky thought. Um, what's say you and I give it another shot? No no no, I know what you're gonna say, you're a lesbian. But what do you say we just put that aside for now you know? Let's just stick a pin in it, ok? Because, we're great together, you know. You can't deny it. Besides, you're carrying my baby. I mean, how perfect is that? But see, you know, you keep sayin' that, but there's somethin' right here. I love you.
Ross: No but, no but.
Ross: That's easy for you to say, you found one already.
(A beautiful woman walks by Ross, he stares at her.)
Joey: I mean, she should be with someone like... Ross! You know what I mean, he uses all those big words too! Man, smart people are dull!
Ross: What?! That's not gonna make you any money!
Ross: Yeah I just hurt it.
Rachel: Oh wow! What now Ross youre not gonna talk? How on earth will you ever annoy me? Oh wait a minute, I know. (Mimics his breathing.) I mean youd think the damn jalepeno wouldve cleared up your sinuses, but no!! Thats not enough (Ross jumps over and kisses her.) What are you doing?!
Ross: You know sometimes your words... they hurt.
Ross: Hey hey, can I help?
[Ross and Rachel look at each other and then at Phoebe, realizing the song is about their situation.]
Ross: Oh, you guys call him Cute Coffeehouse Guy, we call him Hums While He Pees.
Rachel: I thought this might happen today. Ross, I know the holidays can be rough. Yknow? And its probably really hard for you to be alone right now.
Ross: Oh yeah, let me just finish this.
Ross: (he comes back) Alright, let's go!
Ross: Chandler, you don't have a sister so you can't understand how much this bums me out.
Rachel: (on answering machine) Hi, its me. Ive been trying to reach you all night. I feel awful. Please, Ross, you gotta know there is nothing between me and Mark. This whole break-up thing is just stupid.
Joey: It wasnt my ring! It fell out of Rosss jacket! And when I knelt down to pick it up Rachel thought I was proposing!
Ross: Oh wait-wait-wait! The message is blinking. Maybe you didn't erase it.
Ross: (yelling at Chandler) I have sex with dinosaurs??
<Ross ponders that and walks away>
Ross: Yeah well, if I know Mark, and I think I do, Id expect nothing less.
Nurse: (To Ross) Rossy, we're ready for you.
Monica: (starting to cry) Im sorry I almost made you sleep with Ross. (They hug.)
Ross: Actually, it looks really good. (Turns towards the window and now Phoebe starts jumping to divert his attention.)
Chandler: Ross, don't press send, don't press se... !
Ross: (visibly upset) I'm dead?
Ross: No, I mean tonight, in the building. Suddenly. Into our lives.
Joey: (after Ross leaves the room) aaand SEND! (he hits the send button)
Ross: All right, all right, it's just that you left a red sock in with all your whites, and now, everything's kinda pink.
Ross: Okay, I have a problem I have to go into work for a few hours, some kids messed up the Homo Sapien display.
Tom: Thanks... uh... I'm so sorry about Ross, it's...
Ross: Who is he?
Monica: So, did you know Ross well?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are watching rugby on TV as Phoebe enters.]
Ross: You can't go, I mean you're the glue that holds this group together!
Joey: The skys blue Ross and I had sex yesterday!
Ross: I dont think so! Youre just giving me Ruth so youll get to name it when its a boy, and thats when youll swoop in and name him Heath or Blaine or Sequoia.
Ross: Did you hear that? Kori Weston had a crush on me!!
ROSS: (whining) But you left.
Ross: No! Do you know what your odds are of winning the lottery? I...I mean you have a better chance of being struck by lightning 42 times.
Ross: No thanks!
Ross: The woman just vanished!
[Scene: N.Y.U, Rosss new class, this time hes actually about to do a lecture.]
Ross: Yeah y'know what? Maybe-maybe you didn't mess up your audition because you suck, maybe you messed up because you care more about uh, your godson.
Joey: Seriously, Ross, you don't want in on this?
Ross: Oh oh, we think Emma is about to start talking so we're trying to be careful about what words we use in front of her.
Ross: Oh, it's not so bad. Monica's gonna make potpourri! I think I'm gonna go wander out in the rain for a while.
Ross: (yelling to Monica)They're towing your car, they're towing your car!!
(Suddenly Ross comes running into the apartment)
[Scene: The fire escape, Joey is now hanging off of the bottom rung of the ladder that wont move and Ross is watching from above.]
Ross: (to Monica)Think he washed his hands?
Ross: Well, I dont think we are gonna have that problem, but maybe thats just because I am not emotionally unavailable!
Ross: Uh, you're not gonna win.
Ross: Why would I eat my own arm?
Ross: Why?
Ross: You don't have to do that, I'll pay for myself. But just the fact that you want me to have fun with you guys - that's so sweet! Come here (they kiss and hug)
Monica: You know what, Ross? I'm gonna throw in 50 bucks for you.
Ross: (To Chandler) Dude, that reverse lay-up! Oh
[Scene: Ross and Rachel�s. Ross phones, Rachel and Emma are there.]
Ross: I ... I was just talking about Rachel.
Chandler: (looks around) I'll take this one too (to Ross) Uh ... Mommy?
Ross: Hey hey, we'll be fine. We're just gonna need a little time.
Ross: Waitohheyhuh, oh great now he knows, and I don't know!
Ross: Okay, I-Ill see you tonight.
MONICA: Rach, get the heat. [Rachel holds up her hand with wet fingernail polish] Ross, could you turn the heat down please?
Joey: (to Ross) I'll show you how.
Ross: Gandolf the wizard. (Joey is still confused) Hello! Didnt you read Lord of the Rings in high school?
Ross: 3 minutes ago!!! I don't know why that's important ...
Ross: I can't believe this, I thought we were all in this together!
Ross: Im not gonna hit you.
Ross: Oh my God, you guys!! (Hes excited about what he thought happened.)
Ross: (trying to stop her) Hey, hey!!
Ross: It went great! And I didnt need any jokes or naked chicks either!
Ross: Wow! How'd you get in there?
[Scene: Rachels bedroom. Ross and Rachel have just finished consummating the new relationship.]
Ross: Monica!
Ross: Go, go, go!!
Ross: Oh yeah, it's a good idea!
Ross: Oh, we have one too!!
Ross: (calling Rachel) Come on!!
Ross: Oh yeah, no no no...that's great!
Rachel: (to Ross) Isn't that amazing?
Ross: It's not a word!
Ross: Yes you did, gleba is a word!
Ross: So is everybody here? I got here a little early myself. Let us begin. Now, the hydrosaurids have been unearthed in two main locations. (He moves to the map and we see why he made it to class on time, hes wearing in-line skates and hasnt taken them off.) Here. (Points to the map, somewhere in the Middle East, then spins on the skates and points to the map.) Here. (China.) Now as for the hydrosaurs
Monica and Ross: Seven.
(they all look at Ross)
ROSS: Oh, now you can exchange them if you want, ok.
Ross: Nono, me neither. Although, uh, y'know, back in college, Susan Sallidor did.
Ross: Hi!
Ross: I'd love to!
Monica: Ohh, Im sorry I couldnt think of anymore for Ross!
ROSS: You know, I, I used to, ah, play keyboards in college.
Ross: Phoebe, what happened?
Monica: Why don't you take Ross?
Chandler: Ross had a ring?! And he was gonna propose?
Ross: Ok, Michelle, it�s time to go.
Ross: Well, this is what happens when people live on the edge!
Ross: Look, it was accident! Okay? I-I feel bad that it happened, but I swear, I didnt even watch it! Anyway, here. (He takes the tape out of his coat pocket.) I thought you might be more comfortable destroying it yourself. (Tosses her the tape.)
Ross: Huh, whats fish hooking... (Joey sticks his finger in Rosss mouth and pulls on his cheek, y'know like when you hook a fish.) (to Joey, sarcastic) Thanks man, that would have been really hard to describe. What is that taste?
Ross: Not there.
Ross: (mumbling) She doesn't know what to say!
Ross: Well, you shouldve seen the guy that she used to go out with. I mean, hes like Joe Rugby.