words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]
Joey: I'm tellin' you Ross, she wants you.
Ross: She barely knows me. We just live in the same building.
Ross: She lent me an egg once.
Ross: Aw, right.
Woman: Hi, Ross.
Ross: Hey. (stutters something incoherent)
Chandler: Come on, Ross, you gotta get back in the game here, ok? The Rachel thing's not happening, your ex-wife is a lesbianI don't think we need a third...
Ross: An egg?
Ross: I think it's insane.
(Ross walks over to the woman, egg in hand.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are there. Ross is still talking to the beautiful woman.]
Ross: Hi. She said yes.
Chandler: Yes! Way to go, man! (Chandler and Ross hug. Something crunches in Ross' shirt pocket.) Still got the egg, huh?
Monica: Oh, hi, Ross. Yeah. There's someone I want you to say hi to. (to Chandler) He just happened to call.
Janice: Hi, Ross. Yes, it's me. How did you know? (she laughs obnoxiously)
[Scene: A Chinese Restaurant, Ross is there with his date.]
Ross: I'm just sayin' if dogs do experience jet lag, then, because of the whole um, seven dog years to one human year thing, then, when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles, he doesn't just lose three hours, he loses like a week and a half.
(Ross starts to laugh, and then makes a face like 'Why did I just say that?' Ross' ex-wife, Carol, and her lesbian lover, Susan, enter the restaurant. Ross stares at them.)
Ross: The blond woman is my ex-wife, and the woman touching her is her... close, personal friend.
Ross: If you wanna put a label on it.
Ross: Nope, nope, that's it.
Ross: Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part. (to Carol and Susan) Helloo!
Ross: So, um, what do you do for a living?
Kristin: Well, um, for the past few years I've been working..(Ross is watching Carol and Susan, not listening to Kristin. Susan gets up, and has to go. Carol is left stranded)...which is funny because, that wasn't even my major.
Susan: I thought they could...I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry. (Ross realizes Kristin was expecting him to laugh, so he starts to laugh hysterically.)
Ross: Now that is funny. Hey, do you think...would it be too weird if I invited Carol over to join us? 'Cause she's, she's alone now, and pregnant, and, and sad.
Ross: Are you sure? Great. Carol? Wanna come over and join us?
Ross: Come on. These people'll scooch down. You guys'll scooch, won't you? Let's try scooching! Come on. Come on. Uh, Kristen Riggs, this is Carol Willick. Carol, Kristin. Uh, Carol teaches sixth grade. And, Kristin, Kristin...(struggling)...does something that, funnily enough, wasn't even her major!
[Scene: The Chinese Restaurant, Ross and Carol are talking. Kristin is not there.]
Ross: You did so. I swear, I swear(noticing Kristin's absence) How long has she been in the bathroom?
Ross: Well maybe it's cold in there. Or maybe I screwed up the first date I had in 9 years.
Ross: Oh, god. (He puts his head down on the grill) You know, this is still pretty hot. (He picks his head up, and a mushroom sticks to his head. Carol picks it off and eats it.)
Ross: No, it's just...you know the whole "getting on with your life" thing. Well, do I have to? I mean, I'm sitting here with this cute woman, and, and, and she's perfectly nice, and, but that there's, that's it. And um, and then I'm here talkin' to you, and, and it's easy, and it's fun, and, and I don't, I don't have to...You know, here's a wacky thought. Um, what's say you and I give it another shot? No no no, I know what you're gonna say, you're a lesbian. But what do you say we just put that aside for now you know? Let's just stick a pin in it, ok? Because, we're great together, you know. You can't deny it. Besides, you're carrying my baby. I mean, how perfect is that? But see, you know, you keep sayin' that, but there's somethin' right here. I love you.
Ross: No but, no but.
Ross: That's easy for you to say, you found one already.
(A beautiful woman walks by Ross, he stares at her.)
(Ross closes the door slowly.)
Phoebe: (walking over to Ross) Ross?
Ross: Dont thank me! If you wanna thank something, thank the volcano that erupted thousands of years ago, killing but perfectly preserving an entire civilization. (Rachel just looks at him.) Heres Warrens number.
Monica and Ross: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 (Ross runs to be caught by Monica, but she moves out of the way)
Ross: (shaking head) Oh Joey, Joey! But still, I mean, it seems like you guys are having a great time together.
Ross: What do you mean?
Ross: Well that I can believe.
Ross: Hey, so uh, y'know how there's something I wanted to talk to you about?
Ross: Look, were just friends now! Okay? Why would I do anything stupid?
Rachel: So. Ross, Ive bugged him about this a million times, hes not gonna change.
Ross: (sits down at the table) Oh, eh, just thinking about Emily getting married tomorrow. (Joey panics.)
Ross: Hm-mmm.
(Ross returns.)
(He turns to get his coat and Monica gives Rachel and Phoebe two thumbs up as Chandler walks over to Ross.)
RACHEL: OK, Ross, listen to me, I am not yours to save.
Ross: What am I looking at?
Joey: Ooh, Ross, look! Look! (Points behind Ross.)
Ross: Me too!
Ross: (turning and looking) What? Where?
Joey and Ross: Yeah!!
ROSS: I am really not going. I don't get it. They already live together, why do they need to get married?
(Ross stares in shock at him as he angrily puts down the chicken and takes off his coat.)
Ross: It's theChandler!!
Ross: Yeah? What about ah, that bike messenger you hit?
Joey: But you can't stay with Phoebe, Ross! We're-we're roomies!
ROSS: Calm down, I'm blow drying.
Joey: Hey Ross, will you pass me that knife?
Rachel: Okay, Ross, I'm really trying to tell you something here.
Ross: Is the old woman on the bicycle still alive?
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Oh, hi Ross! (To Rachel) See? Other people call me!
Ross: Gunther! Gunther. Gunther, please tell me you didnt say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the Xerox place.
Ross: Huh, I don't know what to pick. Am I more thankful for my divorce or my eviction? Hmm.
Ross: So where are we going next?
Ross: What?
Gary: Ross!
Mona: Hi! Hi. Hi, Rachel! (to Ross) Whats she doing here?
Ross: My friend Bethel rescued him from some lab.
Ross: You need me to go down there with you and hold your hand?
Ross: What is it?
Ross: Wow, uh, Joey that's-that's great. Thanks man.
Ross: What? What? What? What is it?
Ross: Uh-huh. (Phoebe grunts.)
Ross: Uh-huh. Thank Joey!
Rachel: I would love to live with you Ross; thats-thats great! Thank you!
Joey: (To Ross) You okay man?
Ross: All right! All right! It was the best nap ever!
Ross: Well, Im-Im just glad I could, yknow, help you out.
[Phoebe turns back around but Rachel is gone. Ross enters.]
Ross: (coming back in) Did you say something?
Gary: (To Ross) Okay, go ahead.
Ross: Wow! I could've died tonight.
Ross and Joey: Bye!
Ross: She was blonde? (he looks surprised for a while, but then gets a "gotcha" expression on his face... There's knocking at the door.) Just a sec.! Okay, okay. This one's name is Sandy. She's got a degree in early childhood education, uhm... she worked for her last family for three years.
Ross: (getting angry) That said it was my sandwich?!
ROSS: Humm, that sounds, I don't, perfect.
Ross: That's okay, Joe.
Phoebe: Wow! Im-Im so happy for you guys. (To Ross) This is so-so, not stupid.
Ross: You talked to her?
Ross: Wow!
Ross: Okay, look, yesterday I would've even considered calling her back, but my ex-wife calls on the same day I have a near death experience. I mean, that-that has got to mean something!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is complaining about Carol.]
Ross: Well, okay, what-what did she say?
Ross: Huh.
Ross: I cant believe in four weeks theyre gonna be married!
Ross: Oh, be-because of the leather pants.
Joey: No, come on Ross! (He grabs his bag so he cant leave) Look, Ross, we have to get past this.
Ross: (on machine) "Hey Ross, it's you!" (Hits the stop button) Oh yeah, no that's-that's an old message, nobody needs to hear that.
Ross: We, we just decided to uh, to go for it.
Ross: (entering, downtrodden) Hi.
Ross: Someone at work ate my sandwich!
Ross: And for the record, it took two people to break up this relationship!!
(Ross is stunned.)
Ross: Oh, ah, you dont need that.
Ross: Hero, I uh, I dont knowwell, all right.
Joey: Yeah, hero sandwiches. (Points at Ross who points back.)
Ross: Nevermind! (Goes back to his mailbox.)
Ross: And she just gave you this?
Ross: (barely containing himself at this point) Well, you have fun tonight.
Ross: Oh no-no-no, Im there.
Ross: Are you serious?!
Ross: (looks at his watch) 2:17.
Joey and Ross: No.
Ross: I dont think you had an open mind about the name Ruth. I mean, come on, little Ruthie Geller, how-how cute is that?
Ross: Yeah, no one talks like that!
Joey and Ross: Yeah!
ROSS: [uncomfortable] Good, so everybody's here. Everybody's good. So, were you gonna play something, Phoebe?
Ross: What-what is it?!
Ross: (to Caitlin) Hey uh, y'know that smell gas has?
Ross: Who the hell is Jordie?
Ross: Yeah? How much?
Ross: ON A CAT??!!!!
Ross: Wow! I thought you would be a little more shocked.
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: What?
Ross: I know! (Looks at the ball in his hands.) Don't switch hands, okay?
Ross: Uhh, yeah it would! Let's do it!
Ross: I dont know, I told her it was stupid to put off the wedding just because the hall was gone and she liked flipped out.
Ross: Yknow what I think it is? I think youve made such a nice home for her over the last nine months that she just doesnt want to leave.
ROSS: I, I know it's big, I just didn't know it was uh, ha-ha big.
Ross: Well, who's gonna kiss my sister.