words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]
Joey: I'm tellin' you Ross, she wants you.
Ross: She barely knows me. We just live in the same building.
Ross: She lent me an egg once.
Ross: Aw, right.
Woman: Hi, Ross.
Ross: Hey. (stutters something incoherent)
Chandler: Come on, Ross, you gotta get back in the game here, ok? The Rachel thing's not happening, your ex-wife is a lesbianI don't think we need a third...
Ross: An egg?
Ross: I think it's insane.
(Ross walks over to the woman, egg in hand.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are there. Ross is still talking to the beautiful woman.]
Ross: Hi. She said yes.
Chandler: Yes! Way to go, man! (Chandler and Ross hug. Something crunches in Ross' shirt pocket.) Still got the egg, huh?
Monica: Oh, hi, Ross. Yeah. There's someone I want you to say hi to. (to Chandler) He just happened to call.
Janice: Hi, Ross. Yes, it's me. How did you know? (she laughs obnoxiously)
[Scene: A Chinese Restaurant, Ross is there with his date.]
Ross: I'm just sayin' if dogs do experience jet lag, then, because of the whole um, seven dog years to one human year thing, then, when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles, he doesn't just lose three hours, he loses like a week and a half.
(Ross starts to laugh, and then makes a face like 'Why did I just say that?' Ross' ex-wife, Carol, and her lesbian lover, Susan, enter the restaurant. Ross stares at them.)
Ross: The blond woman is my ex-wife, and the woman touching her is her... close, personal friend.
Ross: If you wanna put a label on it.
Ross: Nope, nope, that's it.
Ross: Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part. (to Carol and Susan) Helloo!
Ross: So, um, what do you do for a living?
Kristin: Well, um, for the past few years I've been working..(Ross is watching Carol and Susan, not listening to Kristin. Susan gets up, and has to go. Carol is left stranded)...which is funny because, that wasn't even my major.
Susan: I thought they could...I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry. (Ross realizes Kristin was expecting him to laugh, so he starts to laugh hysterically.)
Ross: Now that is funny. Hey, do you think...would it be too weird if I invited Carol over to join us? 'Cause she's, she's alone now, and pregnant, and, and sad.
Ross: Are you sure? Great. Carol? Wanna come over and join us?
Ross: Come on. These people'll scooch down. You guys'll scooch, won't you? Let's try scooching! Come on. Come on. Uh, Kristen Riggs, this is Carol Willick. Carol, Kristin. Uh, Carol teaches sixth grade. And, Kristin, Kristin...(struggling)...does something that, funnily enough, wasn't even her major!
[Scene: The Chinese Restaurant, Ross and Carol are talking. Kristin is not there.]
Ross: You did so. I swear, I swear(noticing Kristin's absence) How long has she been in the bathroom?
Ross: Well maybe it's cold in there. Or maybe I screwed up the first date I had in 9 years.
Ross: Oh, god. (He puts his head down on the grill) You know, this is still pretty hot. (He picks his head up, and a mushroom sticks to his head. Carol picks it off and eats it.)
Ross: No, it's just...you know the whole "getting on with your life" thing. Well, do I have to? I mean, I'm sitting here with this cute woman, and, and, and she's perfectly nice, and, but that there's, that's it. And um, and then I'm here talkin' to you, and, and it's easy, and it's fun, and, and I don't, I don't have to...You know, here's a wacky thought. Um, what's say you and I give it another shot? No no no, I know what you're gonna say, you're a lesbian. But what do you say we just put that aside for now you know? Let's just stick a pin in it, ok? Because, we're great together, you know. You can't deny it. Besides, you're carrying my baby. I mean, how perfect is that? But see, you know, you keep sayin' that, but there's somethin' right here. I love you.
Ross: No but, no but.
Ross: That's easy for you to say, you found one already.
(A beautiful woman walks by Ross, he stares at her.)
Ross: Hey, what do you think they're doing in there?
Ross: Uhm, ministers don't ride the subway for free.
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey. What was that all about?
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are sharing a bowl of popcorn, while Monica carefully reads the instruction manual for her television set.]
Ross: Are you kidding? Oh my God...
Ross: Well it's okay. Chandler is talking to her.
Ross: I don't think so.
Ross: Still-still, let me come... for me.
Ross: Im, Im sorry you didnt get to go to Spacecamp, and Im hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttles Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.)
Ross: Okay, here we go...
Monica: (to Ross) So, I guess you're next. You're ready?
Ross: Yeah...
Ross: Huh?
Ross: Unbelievable. She says goodbye to everyone but me.
(She leaves the apartment and they all stare at Ross)
Phoebe: Ross, if you're this upset, you should go and talk to her.
Ross: No, I don't think so.
Ross: What? I don't get a goodbye?
Rachel: Ross...
Ross: THE HELL I DO!
Ross: I don't get a goodbye?
Ross: Mona umm Clickclocken. The famous botanist? Huh? Oh no shes uhwell shes dead now. No, supposedly she was once quite the hottie of the plant world.
Monica: I hope Ross isn't too upset.
Ross: That's what it seemed like.
Ross: Fine, then why didn't you say something?
Ross: Rach!
(Ross walks over to her and starts to kiss her passionately. After a while Rachel backs out. She thinks a while and starts kissing him back.)
Ross: You keep, you keep... You can't...
Ross: Rach!
Rachel: Oh you're not. You're not gonna get in the middle of anything, don't worry about Ross really, really.(She hears the noise of the key in the lock) Oh! Hide! That's Ross! Hide! Hide!
Ross: Hey.
Ross: Who's laughing now?
Ross: Oh. This was amazing.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is reading some book and Gunther serves him a cup of coffee.]
(Ross enters.)
Ross: What?
Ross: Uh, we, y'know, we worked things out.
Ross: Is Rachel here?
Ross: Oh my God!
Ross: I know, it's pretty great.
Ross: Oh, I.. I don't know. We didn't really get to talk.
Ross: Hey.
Ross: Shhh!
Ross: Wow, I hadn't thought of that. I hope not.
Ross: Hey. How did you sleep?
Ross: So...
Joey: All right Ill talk in code. (to Ross and Chandler) Remember when the kid sees those two blanks in the hallway?
Ross: Morning.
Ross: Good.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Phoebe are watching a movie as Chandler comes in from his bedroom.]
Ross: It really was.
Ross: Yeah, guess so. Whew! Check these out! (Hes looking at the stirrups on the other bed in the room and Rachel groans. Ross then hops into the bed and puts his legs into the stirrups.) Never done this before.
Ross: Have you seen this? It's a new alumni website for college! It's cool! You can post messages for people, let everyone know what you're up to.
Ross: It's I just know they're gonna be a couple of windbags wearing tweed jackets with suede elbow patches.
Ross: What?
Ross: No way!
Ross: Nothing! What do you say to that?
Ross: And then she said it was the perfect way to say goodbye.
Phoebe: Ross, you've got to tell her how you feel!
Ross: You really think so?
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Yknow I dont understand why they didnt cry. It was a beautiful speech.
Mr. Geller: Sweetheart, we love you just as much as Ross! Now, Im sorry about everything that happened and Id probably never be able to make it up to you, but heres a start. (He hands her a small box.)
Ross: What? What?
Rachel: Ross, would you just stop it! Its getting really old.
(Ross walks up to Rachel, but Gunther gets there first.)
Joey: Ross, wait!
Gym Employee: Okay, Dave in the membership office, handles quitters. (Both Chandler and Ross start to make their way to the membership office.) Uh, excuse me, (to Ross) are you a member?
Ross: Oh my God!
(Ross is shocked.)
Ross: I'm not getting you a muffin!
Ross: Hey.
Ross: No, and I'm not going to.
Ross: Because she's just going to shoot me down. You guys saw what happened with Gunther. That did not look like fun.
Ross: (high pitched voice) Check again please!
Ross: Look, even if I were gonna tell her, I don't have to do it now. Okay? I'll be seeing her again. We've got time.
Ross: Oh my God! You did that yourself?
Ross: Oh my God!
Phoebe, Ross, Rachel: Hey.
Ross: Oh my God!
Ross: Oh my God.
Rachel: I will. Ross, come here.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Neither will I.
Ross: I don't! I wanna be with her.
Ross: Yeah, I'm gonna go after her.
Ross: My coat...
Ross: Ah, what good are you. (Walks back to his map dejectedly.)
(Phoebe and Ross leave.)
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Okay, guys, wish me luck.
Ross: No, you don't understand. This isn't a real cab.
(Ross looks terrified.)
Ross: Alright, alright, let's do this!
Ross: (screaming) Get out of the cab!
Ross: What?
(Ross opens his eyes.)
Ross: Oh my God, Phoebe, slow down!
Ross: Okay!