words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]
Joey: I'm tellin' you Ross, she wants you.
Ross: She barely knows me. We just live in the same building.
Ross: She lent me an egg once.
Ross: Aw, right.
Woman: Hi, Ross.
Ross: Hey. (stutters something incoherent)
Chandler: Come on, Ross, you gotta get back in the game here, ok? The Rachel thing's not happening, your ex-wife is a lesbianI don't think we need a third...
Ross: An egg?
Ross: I think it's insane.
(Ross walks over to the woman, egg in hand.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are there. Ross is still talking to the beautiful woman.]
Ross: Hi. She said yes.
Chandler: Yes! Way to go, man! (Chandler and Ross hug. Something crunches in Ross' shirt pocket.) Still got the egg, huh?
Monica: Oh, hi, Ross. Yeah. There's someone I want you to say hi to. (to Chandler) He just happened to call.
Janice: Hi, Ross. Yes, it's me. How did you know? (she laughs obnoxiously)
[Scene: A Chinese Restaurant, Ross is there with his date.]
Ross: I'm just sayin' if dogs do experience jet lag, then, because of the whole um, seven dog years to one human year thing, then, when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles, he doesn't just lose three hours, he loses like a week and a half.
(Ross starts to laugh, and then makes a face like 'Why did I just say that?' Ross' ex-wife, Carol, and her lesbian lover, Susan, enter the restaurant. Ross stares at them.)
Ross: The blond woman is my ex-wife, and the woman touching her is her... close, personal friend.
Ross: If you wanna put a label on it.
Ross: Nope, nope, that's it.
Ross: Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part. (to Carol and Susan) Helloo!
Ross: So, um, what do you do for a living?
Kristin: Well, um, for the past few years I've been working..(Ross is watching Carol and Susan, not listening to Kristin. Susan gets up, and has to go. Carol is left stranded)...which is funny because, that wasn't even my major.
Susan: I thought they could...I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry. (Ross realizes Kristin was expecting him to laugh, so he starts to laugh hysterically.)
Ross: Now that is funny. Hey, do you think...would it be too weird if I invited Carol over to join us? 'Cause she's, she's alone now, and pregnant, and, and sad.
Ross: Are you sure? Great. Carol? Wanna come over and join us?
Ross: Come on. These people'll scooch down. You guys'll scooch, won't you? Let's try scooching! Come on. Come on. Uh, Kristen Riggs, this is Carol Willick. Carol, Kristin. Uh, Carol teaches sixth grade. And, Kristin, Kristin...(struggling)...does something that, funnily enough, wasn't even her major!
[Scene: The Chinese Restaurant, Ross and Carol are talking. Kristin is not there.]
Ross: You did so. I swear, I swear(noticing Kristin's absence) How long has she been in the bathroom?
Ross: Well maybe it's cold in there. Or maybe I screwed up the first date I had in 9 years.
Ross: Oh, god. (He puts his head down on the grill) You know, this is still pretty hot. (He picks his head up, and a mushroom sticks to his head. Carol picks it off and eats it.)
Ross: No, it's just...you know the whole "getting on with your life" thing. Well, do I have to? I mean, I'm sitting here with this cute woman, and, and, and she's perfectly nice, and, but that there's, that's it. And um, and then I'm here talkin' to you, and, and it's easy, and it's fun, and, and I don't, I don't have to...You know, here's a wacky thought. Um, what's say you and I give it another shot? No no no, I know what you're gonna say, you're a lesbian. But what do you say we just put that aside for now you know? Let's just stick a pin in it, ok? Because, we're great together, you know. You can't deny it. Besides, you're carrying my baby. I mean, how perfect is that? But see, you know, you keep sayin' that, but there's somethin' right here. I love you.
Ross: No but, no but.
Ross: That's easy for you to say, you found one already.
(A beautiful woman walks by Ross, he stares at her.)
Phoebe: Thanks, Ross.
Ross: Well, I don't know.... (gestures) huh-huh.... but I'm hoping (gestures) huh-huh.
Ross: Come on! All the cool kids are eating em! (chases after her.)
Ross: No, she was definitely on my bed.
Ross: No, no, it's okay. Really. They're plenty of people who just see their sisters at Thanksgiving and just see their college roommates at reunions and just see Joey at Burger King. So is, is that better?
Ross: 15 more seconds, 14, 13, 12...
Ross: Breathe.
Ross: I got it.
Ross: Why?
Susan: (to Ross) See what you did.
Ross: No, you started it.
Ross: (to Carol) Yeah, listen...
Ross: But...
Ross: (to Susan) Thanks a lot.
(Joey and Ross laughs)
Ross: ...How long was I in there?
Ross: Please. This is so your fault.
Ross: Yeah, Susan.
Ross: That's nice... now, was that before or after you told him to stop calling, stop sending you flowers and to generally leave you alone, hmm?
Ross: Breathe.
Ross: Help! Help!
Joey: All right, listen, Ross... you like this girl, right?
[Scene: Ross's hotel room. Ross and is reading his keynote speech to Charlie from his laptop]
Ross: 'The hills were alive with the sound of music.'
Chandler: Yeah I know, but I was really confused and then I talked to these guys. (Turns to look at Ross and Joey.)
Ross: Watch. (he takes the laptop) Here, you ehm... You highlight the word you want to change. Go under Tools and the Thesaurus generates... 'gives'... 'gives' a whole list of choices. You can pick the word that sounds smartest.
Ross: Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
Rachel: All right! Ross, do you think its easy for me to see you with somebody else?
ROSS: [on the phone] Woah, woah, woah australopithicus isn't supposed to be in that display. No. No. No, n, homo-habilus was erect, australopithicus was never fully erect.
Ross: We're here!
Ross: Its worth the pain. (She goes to hug him again.) Yknow what, you know what? Its not.
Ross: Hey.
Ross: Yknow what? I can easily get out of this, but there is a chance you can get very, very hurt!
Ross: Oh, thanks, Pheebs!
Monica: Ross, can I?
Ross and Joey: No-no-no-no-no. (They start to turn away, but Phoebe stops them, and turns them back to face her.)
Ross: The head, the head. You gotta...
Ross: 59 seconds. (holds up his watch) Quartz, ha.
Ross: You wanna explain that?
Ross: Thanks. (Gets up and as he does so, the sound returns. Without another word he heads into her bathroom.)
Ross: (Mortified) Hi.
Joey: Oh! Maybe they'll name yours after you! Y'know, they'll call it, The Ross. And then people would be like, "Awww, he's got a Ross."
Ross: Hey.
Tour Guide: Im Rhonda, (motions to her breasts) and these arent real! (Joey and Ross look at each other, shocked)
Ross: (Quietly) hey, fella! How you doing?
Ross: Ok, got the vent open.
Ross: "Heating device."
Ross: Thanks! (walks out of the room and starts hugging the wall) Thank you! (closes the door)
JOEY: What about Ross? I mean, are you still mad at him cause he made that list about you?
Ross: Hey, is Rachel here? Um, I wanted to wish her a happy birthday before I left.
Ross: Okay, so I'm gonna be the only one standing there alone when the ball drops?
Ross: Well maybe he'll get to go soon, like on a class trip or something.
Ross: So, uh, this guy, she used to go out with, is, uh is he still in love with her?
Monica: (To Ross) Cassie needs to stay at your place.
Ross: Hi.
Young Monica: (entering the shot) Ross!!! (starts to wipe up the spill)
Ross: No.
Ross: At the coffeehouse, right.
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
Ross: I know.
Ross: Yeah, they print jokes, interviews, hard-hitting journalism. Its not just about the pictures.
Ross: (sigh)....I have to go to China.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are on the couch as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Ross, I am telling you that she is using you to get back at me!
Ross: I think it means he freaked out and left!
Ross: (turning towards him) Yes Mr. Lewis, how can I help you?
(Phoebe gets up, holds the picture of Ross up to her face.)
Phoebe: You dont have to do that, Ross and Joey arent here, you can watch the parade if you want.
Ross: Um, in Phoebe's room. You can't go in there.
Ross: No wait, okay, okay, I have an idea. I want you to get on the swing, okay? And you'll see that there's nothing to be afraid of.
Ross: Hi. Im uh, Im Ross. I dont, I dont believe weve met. Im Monicas older brother.
Ross: Still, I can't believe that's sprayed on... I mean, it looks really good. I wonder if I should get one!
[Scene: A train to Poughkeepsie, Ross is asleep against the window.]
Ross: It gives it a nice antiquey look.
Ross: (quietly) That would be nice.
Ross: Yeah, that's true. Except I don't wanna get over her.
Ross: (thinking) How 'bout Ben?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's. Ross is sitting in the couch doing Chandler's game. Chandler is sitting in his barca-lounger. The girls are in the kitchen.]
Ross: (something in Chinese)
Ross: Thats, thats, thats a big candy bar. (Shes holding one of those huge Toblerone bars.) I had the most amazing time with you.
Ross: You called Animal Control?
Ross: Can't do it, can you?
Ross: I know.
Ross: Well, start looking.
Rachel: Ross, you're like my best friend.
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What makes you think we're gonna break up?
Ross: Oh, hey, hey, I got that.
Ross: No, no, they will. I just... uh...
Ross: Yeah.
Ross and Julie: Can't wait.
Ross: Monica bang! Monica bang! (runs into one of the posts) Ow!
Ross: Okay, okay, I was typing names into the library computer earlier, yknow-yknow for fun, and I typed mine in and guess what came up? My doctoral dissertation! Its here! Yeah, its right-its right down here! In the biggest library in the university! (They start heading that way, towards a secluded section behind the racks.)
Ross: (seeing her) Rach!
Ross: Oh Rach thats great. Thats great. (They hug and Joey breathes a sigh of relief.)
Ross: Even if the sidecar had a windscreen so your hair wouldnt get messed up?
Ross: I'm just so happy you guys are finally getting a kid.
Ross: What?! Hello! We didnt get married.
Ross: Everyone, this is Julie.
Chandler: Ross, I am not gonna run away again! I just want to get a little fresh air.
Ross: The screaming guy?