words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]
Joey: I'm tellin' you Ross, she wants you.
Ross: She barely knows me. We just live in the same building.
Ross: She lent me an egg once.
Ross: Aw, right.
Woman: Hi, Ross.
Ross: Hey. (stutters something incoherent)
Chandler: Come on, Ross, you gotta get back in the game here, ok? The Rachel thing's not happening, your ex-wife is a lesbianI don't think we need a third...
Ross: An egg?
Ross: I think it's insane.
(Ross walks over to the woman, egg in hand.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are there. Ross is still talking to the beautiful woman.]
Ross: Hi. She said yes.
Chandler: Yes! Way to go, man! (Chandler and Ross hug. Something crunches in Ross' shirt pocket.) Still got the egg, huh?
Monica: Oh, hi, Ross. Yeah. There's someone I want you to say hi to. (to Chandler) He just happened to call.
Janice: Hi, Ross. Yes, it's me. How did you know? (she laughs obnoxiously)
[Scene: A Chinese Restaurant, Ross is there with his date.]
Ross: I'm just sayin' if dogs do experience jet lag, then, because of the whole um, seven dog years to one human year thing, then, when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles, he doesn't just lose three hours, he loses like a week and a half.
(Ross starts to laugh, and then makes a face like 'Why did I just say that?' Ross' ex-wife, Carol, and her lesbian lover, Susan, enter the restaurant. Ross stares at them.)
Ross: The blond woman is my ex-wife, and the woman touching her is her... close, personal friend.
Ross: If you wanna put a label on it.
Ross: Nope, nope, that's it.
Ross: Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part. (to Carol and Susan) Helloo!
Ross: So, um, what do you do for a living?
Kristin: Well, um, for the past few years I've been working..(Ross is watching Carol and Susan, not listening to Kristin. Susan gets up, and has to go. Carol is left stranded)...which is funny because, that wasn't even my major.
Susan: I thought they could...I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry. (Ross realizes Kristin was expecting him to laugh, so he starts to laugh hysterically.)
Ross: Now that is funny. Hey, do you think...would it be too weird if I invited Carol over to join us? 'Cause she's, she's alone now, and pregnant, and, and sad.
Ross: Are you sure? Great. Carol? Wanna come over and join us?
Ross: Come on. These people'll scooch down. You guys'll scooch, won't you? Let's try scooching! Come on. Come on. Uh, Kristen Riggs, this is Carol Willick. Carol, Kristin. Uh, Carol teaches sixth grade. And, Kristin, Kristin...(struggling)...does something that, funnily enough, wasn't even her major!
[Scene: The Chinese Restaurant, Ross and Carol are talking. Kristin is not there.]
Ross: You did so. I swear, I swear(noticing Kristin's absence) How long has she been in the bathroom?
Ross: Well maybe it's cold in there. Or maybe I screwed up the first date I had in 9 years.
Ross: Oh, god. (He puts his head down on the grill) You know, this is still pretty hot. (He picks his head up, and a mushroom sticks to his head. Carol picks it off and eats it.)
Ross: No, it's just...you know the whole "getting on with your life" thing. Well, do I have to? I mean, I'm sitting here with this cute woman, and, and, and she's perfectly nice, and, but that there's, that's it. And um, and then I'm here talkin' to you, and, and it's easy, and it's fun, and, and I don't, I don't have to...You know, here's a wacky thought. Um, what's say you and I give it another shot? No no no, I know what you're gonna say, you're a lesbian. But what do you say we just put that aside for now you know? Let's just stick a pin in it, ok? Because, we're great together, you know. You can't deny it. Besides, you're carrying my baby. I mean, how perfect is that? But see, you know, you keep sayin' that, but there's somethin' right here. I love you.
Ross: No but, no but.
Ross: That's easy for you to say, you found one already.
(A beautiful woman walks by Ross, he stares at her.)
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: What do you mean?
Ross: Yeah, have a seat.
Ross: You think?
Phoebe: Oh hey Ross oh I'm so glad someone's here could you zip me up?
Rachel: Ross, you are so pathetic. Why can't your son just play with his doll? (uses the Milk Master 2000 to pour milk into her cereal)
Ross: Hey, youre right.
Ross: Thanks. (He starts to go inside and stops.) What photo album was it?
Ross: That's it? You're not mad? I mean, it must've been terrible.
Ross: I just wanna clarify this: are you outing Mr. Peanut?
Ross: Helps a little.
Mrs. Waltham: This is ridiculous. I mean we had an agreement. (Ross looks frustrated. She begins to scream at her husband.) Will you say something, Steven?! Please!!!
ROSS: OK, what's the longest you've been in the relationship before ha, have, having the sex?
Ross: Yeah, I was going for the metaphor.
Ross: Hi.
Ross: (Thinks about it.) Nah.
Ross: And why do you care so much?
Ross: They gave him a lot of medication, ok? He wouldn't even know if you were there. Look, we'll go see him first thing in the morning, ok?
Ross: (to Joey) Good morning. Nice breasts by the way.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the next morning. Joey is getting the door in his dressing gownit's Ross.]
Rachel: (trying to sound like a bug) Bzzzz.... I love you, Ross.
Rachel: Well Thats yknowThatsWeve been alone for the last twenty minutes were doing okay. Besides yknow what? I-IMaybe we wont be alone, cause lately I-Ithings have been happening between me and Ross, yknow? Right before I went into labor, we-we had this kiss. Yknow? So it might be the the beginning of something.
(Ross looks at Joey, dumbfounded at his stupidity.)
Ross: Emily! (Runs up.)
Ross: Oh, absolutely! (Chandler mumbles something.)
ROSS: Then you should have said something before I met her.
Ross: Thats no problem.
(Ross goes outisde on the balcony.)
Ross: Me neither, okay? We are - we're done being stupid.
Ross: What do I do now?
Ross: Thank you.
(Ross enters.)
Ross: You still love me.
Ross: I did.
Ross: She said, "Thank you." I said, "I love you." And she said, "Thank you."
[Cut to Ross getting of an elevator carrying a bouquet of flowers and walking down the hall to Rachels room.]
Chandler: O-kay. I'll see if I can find Ross. (Goes off to find Ross.)
Ross: Ahh.
Emily: Ross.
Ross: Well
Ross: (Answers the phone.) Hello?
Ross: Emily, hi! Uh, how-how was you flight?
Ross: What?
Ross: No.
Ross: All right. All right, Im gonna do it!
Party Guests: (chanting) Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! (Ross goes to investigate the noise) Howard! Howard! Howard! (They're holding Howard above their heads.) Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! (He sees Phoebe chanting along with them.) Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Yay!!
Phoebe: Okay, so its probably just the Ross thing then.
(Ross starts to leave.)
Ross: Really?
Ross: You're right, I'm sorry. Will you marry me?
Ross: (on phone) Hey.
Ross: (Bangs on the bathroom door) Emily? Emily? Im coming in. (He opens the door to reveal that the window is gone, along with Emily.)
Ross: About four hours.
Emily: Ive uh, Ive come to talk to Ross.
Ross and Rachel: Noo.
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Ohh! Thank you.
Emily: Ross, I love you!
(Ross thinks it over, finally sits down and picks up his cards.)
Ross: Hey, if mommy can have a wife, daddy can have a bra.
Ross: Okay, but do you really need another friend? I mean...
(Ross keeps staring at her, head on table. Chandler smacks him with a newspaper. Joey enters, Ross and Chandler laugh at him.)
Emily: (laughs) Ross play rugby? I dont think so.
Ross: Oh, well this morning he got a call from who I think was our cousin Nathan, and frankly, it was a little more than I needed to know.
Ross: (triumphantly) Im gonna be on TV!!
Ross: Hey!
Monica: It is not over because she is going to call you and tell you she loves you. And the reason why she couldnt, is because her feelings were so strong, it scared her. Now you go home and wait for her call, she could be calling you from the plane! Come on now go! Go! (Tries to push Ross out the door.)
Ross: Yeah? Oh-oh, shed be so excited!
Phoebe: He is! But hes getting divorcedRoss! Maybe you know him.
Ross: You had fantasies about Emily?
Ross: Oh. Whats wrong with Ross?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Sandy sit on the couch. Sandy holds Emma. Ross enters the apartment. Sandy and Rachel wipe their tears away with handkerchiefs]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is working as Phoebe and Ross are sitting on the couch.]
(knock on door, Ross opens, it's a woman)
Ross: All right, bad ankle, got it!
Rachel: Okay, but Ross, eventually you and I are gonna be dating.
Ross: So umm, any word from Susan?
Ross: Am I?!
Ross: Am I?!
Ross: Yeah, well you never have the time. I mean, I dont feel like I even have a girlfriend anymore, Rachel.
Ross: I cant believe it. (Pause) Can I tell you something? Im a little mad at him now.
Ross: Uhm... Rachel and I hired a male nanny. (Joey makes a gesture and sound like "Can you believe that?")
Molly: (to Ross) I'm gonna take her back to the appartment.
Ross: She doesnt know which one of us she wants, me or this Colin guy.
Ross: (interrupting her) Oh, it's not the ideal way...
Ross: I like this one. (Points to it.) It seems to say, "I love you and thats why I have to kill you."
Ross: What?
Ross: Oh, wake up!
Ross: Excuse me?
Ross: It does not!
Ross: Oh come on! Here we go! (picks her up and puts her in the chair) Stand by for mission countdown!
Ross: This is not fun!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's balcony, Ross is about to be attacked by Paulo's cat.]
Phoebe: Yeah. The 92 Ross wouldnt.
Mona's Date: Its awfully pink. (Ross mouths, "Its salmon!")
Ross: In this life, Phoebe.
Ross: Oh, I missed you too.
Ross: Nice luggage.
Ross: Yes, thats what I was going to ask, thank you.
Ross: Hi!