words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]
Joey: I'm tellin' you Ross, she wants you.
Ross: She barely knows me. We just live in the same building.
Ross: She lent me an egg once.
Ross: Aw, right.
Woman: Hi, Ross.
Ross: Hey. (stutters something incoherent)
Chandler: Come on, Ross, you gotta get back in the game here, ok? The Rachel thing's not happening, your ex-wife is a lesbianI don't think we need a third...
Ross: An egg?
Ross: I think it's insane.
(Ross walks over to the woman, egg in hand.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are there. Ross is still talking to the beautiful woman.]
Ross: Hi. She said yes.
Chandler: Yes! Way to go, man! (Chandler and Ross hug. Something crunches in Ross' shirt pocket.) Still got the egg, huh?
Monica: Oh, hi, Ross. Yeah. There's someone I want you to say hi to. (to Chandler) He just happened to call.
Janice: Hi, Ross. Yes, it's me. How did you know? (she laughs obnoxiously)
[Scene: A Chinese Restaurant, Ross is there with his date.]
Ross: I'm just sayin' if dogs do experience jet lag, then, because of the whole um, seven dog years to one human year thing, then, when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles, he doesn't just lose three hours, he loses like a week and a half.
(Ross starts to laugh, and then makes a face like 'Why did I just say that?' Ross' ex-wife, Carol, and her lesbian lover, Susan, enter the restaurant. Ross stares at them.)
Ross: The blond woman is my ex-wife, and the woman touching her is her... close, personal friend.
Ross: If you wanna put a label on it.
Ross: Nope, nope, that's it.
Ross: Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part. (to Carol and Susan) Helloo!
Ross: So, um, what do you do for a living?
Kristin: Well, um, for the past few years I've been working..(Ross is watching Carol and Susan, not listening to Kristin. Susan gets up, and has to go. Carol is left stranded)...which is funny because, that wasn't even my major.
Susan: I thought they could...I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry. (Ross realizes Kristin was expecting him to laugh, so he starts to laugh hysterically.)
Ross: Now that is funny. Hey, do you think...would it be too weird if I invited Carol over to join us? 'Cause she's, she's alone now, and pregnant, and, and sad.
Ross: Are you sure? Great. Carol? Wanna come over and join us?
Ross: Come on. These people'll scooch down. You guys'll scooch, won't you? Let's try scooching! Come on. Come on. Uh, Kristen Riggs, this is Carol Willick. Carol, Kristin. Uh, Carol teaches sixth grade. And, Kristin, Kristin...(struggling)...does something that, funnily enough, wasn't even her major!
[Scene: The Chinese Restaurant, Ross and Carol are talking. Kristin is not there.]
Ross: You did so. I swear, I swear(noticing Kristin's absence) How long has she been in the bathroom?
Ross: Well maybe it's cold in there. Or maybe I screwed up the first date I had in 9 years.
Ross: Oh, god. (He puts his head down on the grill) You know, this is still pretty hot. (He picks his head up, and a mushroom sticks to his head. Carol picks it off and eats it.)
Ross: No, it's just...you know the whole "getting on with your life" thing. Well, do I have to? I mean, I'm sitting here with this cute woman, and, and, and she's perfectly nice, and, but that there's, that's it. And um, and then I'm here talkin' to you, and, and it's easy, and it's fun, and, and I don't, I don't have to...You know, here's a wacky thought. Um, what's say you and I give it another shot? No no no, I know what you're gonna say, you're a lesbian. But what do you say we just put that aside for now you know? Let's just stick a pin in it, ok? Because, we're great together, you know. You can't deny it. Besides, you're carrying my baby. I mean, how perfect is that? But see, you know, you keep sayin' that, but there's somethin' right here. I love you.
Ross: No but, no but.
Ross: That's easy for you to say, you found one already.
(A beautiful woman walks by Ross, he stares at her.)
Ross: Hey!
Ross: What disposable cameras?
Ross: (stopping him) Okay! Okay! Okay. Im sorry. Please, please, you were in Western Europe and?
Ross: Really? Well then tell it to me.
Ross: (sarcastic) Ill try to control myself.
Ross: No! No, I dont dont want to.
Ross: Ill try that.
Ross: Okay! Do you wanna tell the story?!
Chandler: (sighs) Just one more thing. I was so pissed at you that night that I wanted to get back at you. So I thought, who does Ross like the more than anybody?
Ross: Thanks.
Ross: Thanks. And-and hey Joe?
Rachel: Oh Ross!
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Thats less embarrassing, yes. Yes I was.
Ross: Joey! No!
(Ross storms out.)
Ross: Howd did it go?
(In the rooms next door, Joey, Rachel, Ross and Charlie stop kissing and try to understand what the yelling was about. After a while they continue kissing. We're back in Chandler and Monica's room. Monica has some of her own hair stuffed in her mouth by Chandler.)
Ross: Is Rachel here? I gotta talk to her.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Is Ross still here?
Joey: I am telling you Ross, she is definitely gonna fall in love with you again! Now, is that what you want?
Ross: Can we, can we just stop for a second? Who said something better would come along, huh? You didn't believe me. I told you everything was gonna work out. (gasps) You know what? This calls for a bottle of Israels finest.
Ross: Forget it, shes destroying it.
Ross: What?!
Ross: Rachel, please
Ross: (on tape) You didnt do it?
Ross: (on tape) Hello! Can I get you anything?
Ross: (on tape) So we we both wanted to.
Ross: About about sex? (Joey looks at him confused) That I hadnt had sex in months?
(A woman walks by and smiles at Rosss hair.)
Ross: Aw come on, Mona Lisa?
Ross: Hi.
Phoebe: Oh, you came on to Ross!
ROSS: Ok. I'll see ya later. Just think about it, ok.
Ross: Ive never walked down the aisle knowing it cant end in divorce.
Ross: Ah .
Ross: Good luck.
(Ross pushes play.)
Ross: Oh, oh there go the clothes.
Ross and Rachel: Ah. (Pause) Oh.
Ross: I have been working out.
Ross: Six months Rachel, six months.
Ross: No!
Ross: Oh no!
Ross: No!!
Ross: No!!!
Ross: It used to be. Now she doesnt really have a face. Smokin body though.
Ross: Oh no!!
Ross: Oh thats not pretty.
Ross: Rach, c�mon, Emma is fine. You�re turning into an obsessive mother. Okay, you need to stop.
Ross: Yeah, and it was uhm... it was like a real little person laugh too. It was... it was like uhm... (Ross tries to impersonate Emma's laugh, but it comes out very squeaky, very high pitched. He laughs about himself but then looks at Rachel, realises that it sounded weird and straightens his face.) Only... only not creepy.
Ross: Yeah!!
Ross: Yeah!
Rachel: Oh not-not so much. Umm, what-what do you, what do you mean is there something wrong with Ross?
Ross: Oh ah, I think you know where I want to go.
Rachel: Yes, it bothers me Ross, but y'know if he was a regular at the coffee house, Id be serving him sneezers.
Ross: Well, why dont you correct him?
Ross: Five years?! Chandler you have to tell him!
Ross: Chandler Muriel Bing. Boy, your parents never gave you a chance did they?
Joey: (thinking he's kidding) Ok, Ross! It's... It's fun, yeah! No, I-I play Doctor Drake Ramoray.
Ross: There you go. You put on a tuxedo! Now that wasnt so scary, was it?
Ross: Yes it is too slutty! (Joey slams the door before Rachel could hear the entire sentence.)
Ross: Just go for it Chandler.
Ross: (to the second girl) That was very nice Ashley.
ROSS: I didn't get a cat.
(Ross points out Rachel to Chandler and goes over to talk to her. Rachel is checking out her nose in her compact mirror.)
Ross: Now Im so happy.
(Ross grabs the tape and heads for the VCR as Rachel goes over and puts the chain on the door and locks it.)
Nurse: Now, which of you is the father? (Points to Joey and Ross)
Ross: Hey Joe, while youre over there how about another beer for the Ross-A-Tron?
Ross: I think he's been relaxing enough, thanks to you and Fireball.
Ross: Yep, and you know what other holiday is coming up?
Ross: A date?
Ross: Rach? You wanna come?
Ross: You set her up?!
Ross: Joey what-what were you thinking?!
Ross: A date?! Shes-shes got a date?! With who?
Joey: (Shouting after him) Chandler, I didn't kiss her, he did! (To Ross) See what happens when you break the code?
Joey: Hey Kash. Uh hey-hey this is Ross. Ross, this is Kash.
Ross: Hi. I-I hear youre going on a ferry tonight.
Ross: Okay. Have a great time you guys.
Ross: Im so glad youre going on this trip!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are going over the picture proofs.]
[Cut to another part of the room, Ross is going to talk to Joey.]
Ross: Anyway, umm so I was um, I was hiking
Ross: Books?
Ross: Hey, if thats what you want to do Im not gonna say no.
Joey: Well Ross, what did you think she was gonna do?
[Rachel reaches for Rosss plate]
Ross: Namaste. (Bows.)
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Both logic and math are taking a serious hit today.
Monica: Really? Okay, so why dont you tell me what happened to Ross Junior year at Disneyland?
Ross: Well, how was the date?
Ross: Oh?
Ross: Hello.
Ross: Ah, he didnt uh, take it so well?
Ross: Uh-huh. What happened?
Ross: Sit down.
Ross: Yeah?