words in movies
(She hands the baby to Joey who pulls down the blanket to reveal Rosss face where the babys should be.)
Ross: (crying) I hope youre a better father than youre a friend!! (Cries again and Joey wakes up in horror.)
Phoebe: It does! How would you feel if you couldnt share your cooking? Or-or imagine how Ross would feel if he couldnt teach us about dragons.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Rachel are there as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Joey: Hey Ross! The babys kicking!
Ross: What?! It is?! (He tries to quickly remove his gloves, but runs into trouble and finally throws them off of his hands like a hockey player in a fight and grabs Rachels belly.)
Ross: Hey, when-when was it kicking? What happened?
Ross: My God, the babys kicking. Thats great. Although I kinda wish I-I wouldve been there to feel the kicking for the first time yknow.
Ross: Look, I-I dont want to miss anymore baby stuff. So Here. Heres my new pager number, okay? Anytime anything pregnancy related happens use it! Ill be there! Okay? I dont care if its three in the morning and all you want is ice cream.
Joey: Absolutely. But, were gonna stop by the hospital just to be sure, okay? Ill page Ross on the way. Come on.
Joey: (seeing Ross) Oh hey-hey!
Ross: (rushes in) Is everything okay?
Ross: Your page said come to the hospital, what? What was it? What happened?
Ross: Oh. Oh. Thank God, most women dont even feel them.
Ross: Oh when you beeped me I was on line at the concession stand at the movie theater.
Ross: No IMona!
Ross: What? Why? Whats wrong?
Ross: No really, you tell me whats up.
Rachel: I-I forgot my underwear. (Ross lets her go.)
Ross: (To Joey) So, thanks so much for bringing her to the hospital.
Ross: Yeah but still, I mean it shouldve been me. Im the dad.
Joey: Oh uh, hey. Not as good as this guy! (Grabs Ross around the shoulders.) He brought Twizlers!
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Chandler: Okay. (They switch places and Chandler gets out a credit card.) So uh, Ross is kinda bummed huh?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is balancing an aluminum can on her stomach as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Hey Ross! Check it out! I learned a new trick!
Ross: Hey uh, I brought you some lunch.
Ross: Well yeah!
Rachel: Oh Ross!! (Runs to the bathroom and closes the door.)
Ross: What?! What?! Rach what?!
Ross: I made her favorite, tuna salad with pickles.
Ross: (to Rachel) I-Im sorry Rach, I didnt know. Are you gonna be okay?
Ross: I cant believe this! I shouldnt be the one making her throw up!
Ross: Yeah? Not to you, because you know this stuff. I dont know any of it and Im the father. I wish Id be more involved yknow.
Ross: Yeah.
Joey: The thing is cause I live with Rachel Im here for a lot of the stuff, okay? (To Rachel) And Ross Ross is missing everything. So
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
Ross: No I-I-I would love to be around for you and the baby. And we-we can just try it like on a temporary basis.
Rachel: But Ross, its you and me!
Ross: So? Sure! But it-it wouldnt be anything romantic. And Im-Im dating MonaDamnit Mona! I was supposed to meet her like an hour ago! What is wrong with me?!
Ross: No! No its not. Joey, this is a smart idea.
Ross: Really?
Ross: Oh Rach thats great. Thats great. (They hug and Joey breathes a sigh of relief.)
ROSS: Monica, Monica, you could come in straddling him, they still wouldn't believe it. [opens door] We're here.
Ross: So Pheebs, how long is your mom gonna be with us?
Ross: I do have a newfound respect for life.
Phoebe: Ross!!!
Ross: DANGER!!! DANGER!!!!!
Ross: Whats up?
Ross: Okay. Umm, for a while now, I've been wanting to, um....
Ross: Wait! No! Ben, come here! I am not kidding!
Ross: Oh, why dont you make her one of your little jokes.
Ross: Unagi. Im always aware.
Ross: And if you wait right here, Ill go get Ross. (Phoebe grabs his arm and prevents him from escaping.)
Ross: Why not?
Ross: Oh.
Ross: No, Susans gonna be there too. Weve got dads, weve got lesbians, the whole parenting team.
Ross: Okay, Ill see you later pal.
Ross: And the place looks so nice!
Ross: Im gonna get you to talk to Chandler.
Ross: Oh man! I want that place so much!! I was so sure that was gonna work! There's twelve bucks I'll never see again! (Exits.)
Ross: Or you can sit with him on the front porch and make sure no one steals the trash cans. He does that every week too.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's Balcony, Ross and Rachel are talking.]
Ross: Y'know, hey! Youre the one who ended it, remember?
Ross: Its not something you are! Its something you have!
The Flight Attendant: (To Ross) Hope you had a nice flight.
Ross: Look, is Rachel here? I really need to talk to her.
Ross: I played bad on purpose guys.
(Joey looks at Ross with a horrified look on his face.)
Ross: Yes thats right.
Ross: No. No-no. No. What would you do next?
Rachel: Ross, didn't you ah, play soccer in High School? Oh no wait, that's right. You just organized their game schedules on your Commodore 64.
Ross: Ah-ha, nowhere to run! (He starts to run towards them.)
Phoebe: Why is Ross doing that?
Ross: (glaring at Joey) This would be the place where you explain the hat.
Ross: Uh, no, no, see, because not...not all guys are going to be a Paolo.
Ross: DANGER!!!!
Ross: Well with Carol, I promised never to love another woman until the day I die. She made no such promise.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: No suds? Excuse me, hold on a second. (to woman) That's my friend's machine.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Rachel, and Joey are there as Ross enters.]
Ross: What?! No! No! Wait! Youre right, this is stupid. Who cares what people think? I mean, I mean we like each other right? Theres nothing wrong with that. Come on. (They get up and go over to the table where his colleagues are sitting.) Burt? Lydia? Mel? This is Elizabeth.
Ross: Hop in. (Phoebe hops in.) Get ready for the smoothest ride of your life.
ROSS: Will you hold Ben for a sec? Come here. Come here.
Ross: (answering it) Uh-oh, saved by the bell. (On phone) Hello?
Ross: You do appear right on the cusp of something. Come on man, I'm sure he'll lose interest in a week or two, but for now can you please just do this for me?
Ross: Why- why are you here, Carol?
Ross: That was you?
Ross: What time?
Ross: (startled) Yeah?
Ross: Hey, thanks Rach. (They hug.)
Ross: Gotcha. (Starts to leave.)
Ross: Oh! So-so seriously, what time?
Ross: Me either... (He pulls up a stool so that he doesn't have to move his hand.)
Chandler: I'll take that bet my friend. And you know what, paying me the 50 bucks could be the "new thing you do that day!" (Ross looks at him.) And it starts right now!
Ross: Yeah, yeah, itll be great! You can, you can lay on the beach and I can cry over my failed marriage. See-see how I make jokes?
Ross: Okay, bye-bye. (starts slamming the receiver down in anger.)
Ross: You're right! (Gives her the twenty she won.)
Chandler: Sure, and Joey; do not let Ross look at any of the maps or the globe in your apartment.
Ross: I have shown you everything we have. Unless you want your mother to spend eternity in a lemon yellow pant-suit, go with the burgundy.
Chandler and Ross: Hey! Hey Adrienne. (They move away from her)
[Scene: A street, Ross is walking with Elizabeth on their date.]
Ross: Umm, no. No.
Joey: Look weve got to find her. Phoebe just called!! Rachels coming to tell Ross she loves him!!
Mona: Id be happy to. (To Ross) You are very sweet.
Ross: Who would you rather be Simon or Garfunkle?
Ross: We had such a great time! Shes-shes incredible! I thought the-the age difference might be a problem, but it wasnt. It wasnt at all. Elizabeth is very mature for her age. (Joey makes the international sign for big boobies.) (To Monica) A concept lost on some people!
Ross: Yeah. What-what should I do?
Rachel: Okay. Phoebe, I-I think Ross is right. What are we gonna do?
Ross: Going out with who?
Ross: Okay, well be right in. (to Chandler) So ah, did your boss try to slap you again today?
Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel: (turning to look at Joey) Ewwww!!
Ross: (exiting the bathroom) That-that-thats all right, no honey, you take your time sweetie. Ill be right out here. (She slams the door in his face, to the gang) Shes just fixing her makeup.
Rachel: Ross, my father doesnt hate you.
Ross: Nothing, Im-Im just, Im so comfortable with you!
Ross: Oh, you have some studying to do?
Ross: What?
Ross: Why do they keep doing that?
Ross: What? No! Of course, of course I do! Are-are they gone?
Ross: (on the phone) Hi, this is Ross Geller in suite 206. It seems you forgot a couple of things. Could you have some complimentary toiletries sent up to my room? (pause) Thank you! Ok. Toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, mouthwash, deodorant, dental floss, band aids, shaving cream, after shave... and I feel like I am forgetting something... Is there anything else you have that I haven't asked for already? (pause) Yeah, go ahead, send up some tampons.
Ross: Ooh, somebody's getting a little fussy.
Ross: Slides are almost ready.
Ross: What?
Ross: Really?
ROSS: OK, see ya later, nice meeting you. [man leaves] You're welcome.
Ross: LookOkay, Im just gonnaIm gonna have to go find him and bring him back! Okay? You-you make sure Monica does not find out, okay?
Ross: Oh, whatever. (Laughs and gives Joey the thumbs up heading back to his apartment. Joey follows him)
Ross: Oh no-no-no, were just two people who happen to run into each other here at the coffee house. (He winks at her.)
Ross: Hey everybody!
Ross: (angrily) Ben! (Pause.) (Happily.) I mean, Ben! Ben!
Ross: Hey uh, this is Elizabeth.
Ross: Bye.
Ross: Well thanks!
Rachel: (starts to cry) Ross, please, I found the magazines!
Joey: Dahhhhh!! (Ross has a puzzled look on his face.) No! Noooo!! (Storms off.)
Ross: No, but it is frowned upon.
[Cut to Rosss second wedding reception, Joey has just told him the band is ready with Rachel looking on.]
Mrs. Geller: Here, sweetie, here. I took these when I had my golfing accident. (Hands Ross a bottle of pills. Then turns to Monica and pats her hair over her ears)
Ross: But, Elizabeth and I are-are both adults and so I dont think theres really anything you can do about it.
Ross: Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Were not 13 anymore.
Ross: Oh, okay. What-what about?
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa, ho, ho, ho, you did not win the game, the touchdown didnt count, because of the spectacularly illegal, oh and by the way savage nose breaking.
Ross: Oh-ooh!