words in movies
(She hands the baby to Joey who pulls down the blanket to reveal Rosss face where the babys should be.)
Ross: (crying) I hope youre a better father than youre a friend!! (Cries again and Joey wakes up in horror.)
Phoebe: It does! How would you feel if you couldnt share your cooking? Or-or imagine how Ross would feel if he couldnt teach us about dragons.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Rachel are there as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Joey: Hey Ross! The babys kicking!
Ross: What?! It is?! (He tries to quickly remove his gloves, but runs into trouble and finally throws them off of his hands like a hockey player in a fight and grabs Rachels belly.)
Ross: Hey, when-when was it kicking? What happened?
Ross: My God, the babys kicking. Thats great. Although I kinda wish I-I wouldve been there to feel the kicking for the first time yknow.
Ross: Look, I-I dont want to miss anymore baby stuff. So Here. Heres my new pager number, okay? Anytime anything pregnancy related happens use it! Ill be there! Okay? I dont care if its three in the morning and all you want is ice cream.
Joey: Absolutely. But, were gonna stop by the hospital just to be sure, okay? Ill page Ross on the way. Come on.
Joey: (seeing Ross) Oh hey-hey!
Ross: (rushes in) Is everything okay?
Ross: Your page said come to the hospital, what? What was it? What happened?
Ross: Oh. Oh. Thank God, most women dont even feel them.
Ross: Oh when you beeped me I was on line at the concession stand at the movie theater.
Ross: No IMona!
Ross: What? Why? Whats wrong?
Ross: No really, you tell me whats up.
Rachel: I-I forgot my underwear. (Ross lets her go.)
Ross: (To Joey) So, thanks so much for bringing her to the hospital.
Ross: Yeah but still, I mean it shouldve been me. Im the dad.
Joey: Oh uh, hey. Not as good as this guy! (Grabs Ross around the shoulders.) He brought Twizlers!
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Chandler: Okay. (They switch places and Chandler gets out a credit card.) So uh, Ross is kinda bummed huh?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is balancing an aluminum can on her stomach as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Hey Ross! Check it out! I learned a new trick!
Ross: Hey uh, I brought you some lunch.
Ross: Well yeah!
Rachel: Oh Ross!! (Runs to the bathroom and closes the door.)
Ross: What?! What?! Rach what?!
Ross: I made her favorite, tuna salad with pickles.
Ross: (to Rachel) I-Im sorry Rach, I didnt know. Are you gonna be okay?
Ross: I cant believe this! I shouldnt be the one making her throw up!
Ross: Yeah? Not to you, because you know this stuff. I dont know any of it and Im the father. I wish Id be more involved yknow.
Ross: Yeah.
Joey: The thing is cause I live with Rachel Im here for a lot of the stuff, okay? (To Rachel) And Ross Ross is missing everything. So
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
Ross: No I-I-I would love to be around for you and the baby. And we-we can just try it like on a temporary basis.
Rachel: But Ross, its you and me!
Ross: So? Sure! But it-it wouldnt be anything romantic. And Im-Im dating MonaDamnit Mona! I was supposed to meet her like an hour ago! What is wrong with me?!
Ross: No! No its not. Joey, this is a smart idea.
Ross: Really?
Ross: Oh Rach thats great. Thats great. (They hug and Joey breathes a sigh of relief.)
Joey: I mean, she should be with someone like... Ross! You know what I mean, he uses all those big words too! Man, smart people are dull!
Ross: What?! That's not gonna make you any money!
Ross: Yeah I just hurt it.
Rachel: Oh wow! What now Ross youre not gonna talk? How on earth will you ever annoy me? Oh wait a minute, I know. (Mimics his breathing.) I mean youd think the damn jalepeno wouldve cleared up your sinuses, but no!! Thats not enough (Ross jumps over and kisses her.) What are you doing?!
Ross: You know sometimes your words... they hurt.
Ross: Hey hey, can I help?
[Ross and Rachel look at each other and then at Phoebe, realizing the song is about their situation.]
Ross: Oh, you guys call him Cute Coffeehouse Guy, we call him Hums While He Pees.
Rachel: I thought this might happen today. Ross, I know the holidays can be rough. Yknow? And its probably really hard for you to be alone right now.
Ross: Oh yeah, let me just finish this.
Ross: (he comes back) Alright, let's go!
Ross: Chandler, you don't have a sister so you can't understand how much this bums me out.
Rachel: (on answering machine) Hi, its me. Ive been trying to reach you all night. I feel awful. Please, Ross, you gotta know there is nothing between me and Mark. This whole break-up thing is just stupid.
Joey: It wasnt my ring! It fell out of Rosss jacket! And when I knelt down to pick it up Rachel thought I was proposing!
Ross: Oh wait-wait-wait! The message is blinking. Maybe you didn't erase it.
Ross: (yelling at Chandler) I have sex with dinosaurs??
<Ross ponders that and walks away>
Ross: Yeah well, if I know Mark, and I think I do, Id expect nothing less.
Nurse: (To Ross) Rossy, we're ready for you.
Monica: (starting to cry) Im sorry I almost made you sleep with Ross. (They hug.)
Ross: Actually, it looks really good. (Turns towards the window and now Phoebe starts jumping to divert his attention.)
Chandler: Ross, don't press send, don't press se... !
Ross: (visibly upset) I'm dead?
Ross: No, I mean tonight, in the building. Suddenly. Into our lives.
Joey: (after Ross leaves the room) aaand SEND! (he hits the send button)
Ross: All right, all right, it's just that you left a red sock in with all your whites, and now, everything's kinda pink.
Ross: Okay, I have a problem I have to go into work for a few hours, some kids messed up the Homo Sapien display.
Tom: Thanks... uh... I'm so sorry about Ross, it's...
Ross: Who is he?
Monica: So, did you know Ross well?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are watching rugby on TV as Phoebe enters.]
Ross: You can't go, I mean you're the glue that holds this group together!
Joey: The skys blue Ross and I had sex yesterday!
Ross: I dont think so! Youre just giving me Ruth so youll get to name it when its a boy, and thats when youll swoop in and name him Heath or Blaine or Sequoia.
Ross: Did you hear that? Kori Weston had a crush on me!!
ROSS: (whining) But you left.
Ross: No! Do you know what your odds are of winning the lottery? I...I mean you have a better chance of being struck by lightning 42 times.
Ross: No thanks!
Ross: The woman just vanished!
[Scene: N.Y.U, Rosss new class, this time hes actually about to do a lecture.]
Ross: Yeah y'know what? Maybe-maybe you didn't mess up your audition because you suck, maybe you messed up because you care more about uh, your godson.
Joey: Seriously, Ross, you don't want in on this?
Ross: Oh oh, we think Emma is about to start talking so we're trying to be careful about what words we use in front of her.
Ross: Oh, it's not so bad. Monica's gonna make potpourri! I think I'm gonna go wander out in the rain for a while.
Ross: (yelling to Monica)They're towing your car, they're towing your car!!
(Suddenly Ross comes running into the apartment)
[Scene: The fire escape, Joey is now hanging off of the bottom rung of the ladder that wont move and Ross is watching from above.]
Ross: (to Monica)Think he washed his hands?
Ross: Well, I dont think we are gonna have that problem, but maybe thats just because I am not emotionally unavailable!
Ross: Uh, you're not gonna win.
Ross: Why would I eat my own arm?
Ross: Why?
Ross: You don't have to do that, I'll pay for myself. But just the fact that you want me to have fun with you guys - that's so sweet! Come here (they kiss and hug)
Monica: You know what, Ross? I'm gonna throw in 50 bucks for you.
Ross: (To Chandler) Dude, that reverse lay-up! Oh
[Scene: Ross and Rachel�s. Ross phones, Rachel and Emma are there.]
Ross: I ... I was just talking about Rachel.
Chandler: (looks around) I'll take this one too (to Ross) Uh ... Mommy?
Ross: Hey hey, we'll be fine. We're just gonna need a little time.
Ross: Waitohheyhuh, oh great now he knows, and I don't know!
Ross: Okay, I-Ill see you tonight.
MONICA: Rach, get the heat. [Rachel holds up her hand with wet fingernail polish] Ross, could you turn the heat down please?
Joey: (to Ross) I'll show you how.
Ross: Gandolf the wizard. (Joey is still confused) Hello! Didnt you read Lord of the Rings in high school?
Ross: 3 minutes ago!!! I don't know why that's important ...
Ross: I can't believe this, I thought we were all in this together!
Ross: Im not gonna hit you.
Ross: Oh my God, you guys!! (Hes excited about what he thought happened.)
Ross: (trying to stop her) Hey, hey!!
Ross: It went great! And I didnt need any jokes or naked chicks either!
Ross: Wow! How'd you get in there?
[Scene: Rachels bedroom. Ross and Rachel have just finished consummating the new relationship.]
Ross: Monica!
Ross: Go, go, go!!
Ross: Oh yeah, it's a good idea!
Ross: Oh, we have one too!!
Ross: (calling Rachel) Come on!!
Ross: Oh yeah, no no no...that's great!
Rachel: (to Ross) Isn't that amazing?
Ross: It's not a word!
Ross: Yes you did, gleba is a word!
Ross: So is everybody here? I got here a little early myself. Let us begin. Now, the hydrosaurids have been unearthed in two main locations. (He moves to the map and we see why he made it to class on time, hes wearing in-line skates and hasnt taken them off.) Here. (Points to the map, somewhere in the Middle East, then spins on the skates and points to the map.) Here. (China.) Now as for the hydrosaurs
Monica and Ross: Seven.
(they all look at Ross)
ROSS: Oh, now you can exchange them if you want, ok.
Ross: Nono, me neither. Although, uh, y'know, back in college, Susan Sallidor did.
Ross: Hi!
Ross: I'd love to!
Monica: Ohh, Im sorry I couldnt think of anymore for Ross!
ROSS: You know, I, I used to, ah, play keyboards in college.
Ross: Phoebe, what happened?
Monica: Why don't you take Ross?
Chandler: Ross had a ring?! And he was gonna propose?
Ross: Ok, Michelle, it�s time to go.
Ross: Well, this is what happens when people live on the edge!
Ross: Look, it was accident! Okay? I-I feel bad that it happened, but I swear, I didnt even watch it! Anyway, here. (He takes the tape out of his coat pocket.) I thought you might be more comfortable destroying it yourself. (Tosses her the tape.)
Ross: Huh, whats fish hooking... (Joey sticks his finger in Rosss mouth and pulls on his cheek, y'know like when you hook a fish.) (to Joey, sarcastic) Thanks man, that would have been really hard to describe. What is that taste?
Ross: Not there.
Ross: (mumbling) She doesn't know what to say!
Ross: Well, you shouldve seen the guy that she used to go out with. I mean, hes like Joe Rugby.