words in movies
(She hands the baby to Joey who pulls down the blanket to reveal Rosss face where the babys should be.)
Ross: (crying) I hope youre a better father than youre a friend!! (Cries again and Joey wakes up in horror.)
Phoebe: It does! How would you feel if you couldnt share your cooking? Or-or imagine how Ross would feel if he couldnt teach us about dragons.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Rachel are there as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Joey: Hey Ross! The babys kicking!
Ross: What?! It is?! (He tries to quickly remove his gloves, but runs into trouble and finally throws them off of his hands like a hockey player in a fight and grabs Rachels belly.)
Ross: Hey, when-when was it kicking? What happened?
Ross: My God, the babys kicking. Thats great. Although I kinda wish I-I wouldve been there to feel the kicking for the first time yknow.
Ross: Look, I-I dont want to miss anymore baby stuff. So Here. Heres my new pager number, okay? Anytime anything pregnancy related happens use it! Ill be there! Okay? I dont care if its three in the morning and all you want is ice cream.
Joey: Absolutely. But, were gonna stop by the hospital just to be sure, okay? Ill page Ross on the way. Come on.
Joey: (seeing Ross) Oh hey-hey!
Ross: (rushes in) Is everything okay?
Ross: Your page said come to the hospital, what? What was it? What happened?
Ross: Oh. Oh. Thank God, most women dont even feel them.
Ross: Oh when you beeped me I was on line at the concession stand at the movie theater.
Ross: No IMona!
Ross: What? Why? Whats wrong?
Ross: No really, you tell me whats up.
Rachel: I-I forgot my underwear. (Ross lets her go.)
Ross: (To Joey) So, thanks so much for bringing her to the hospital.
Ross: Yeah but still, I mean it shouldve been me. Im the dad.
Joey: Oh uh, hey. Not as good as this guy! (Grabs Ross around the shoulders.) He brought Twizlers!
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Chandler: Okay. (They switch places and Chandler gets out a credit card.) So uh, Ross is kinda bummed huh?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is balancing an aluminum can on her stomach as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Hey Ross! Check it out! I learned a new trick!
Ross: Hey uh, I brought you some lunch.
Ross: Well yeah!
Rachel: Oh Ross!! (Runs to the bathroom and closes the door.)
Ross: What?! What?! Rach what?!
Ross: I made her favorite, tuna salad with pickles.
Ross: (to Rachel) I-Im sorry Rach, I didnt know. Are you gonna be okay?
Ross: I cant believe this! I shouldnt be the one making her throw up!
Ross: Yeah? Not to you, because you know this stuff. I dont know any of it and Im the father. I wish Id be more involved yknow.
Ross: Yeah.
Joey: The thing is cause I live with Rachel Im here for a lot of the stuff, okay? (To Rachel) And Ross Ross is missing everything. So
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
Ross: No I-I-I would love to be around for you and the baby. And we-we can just try it like on a temporary basis.
Rachel: But Ross, its you and me!
Ross: So? Sure! But it-it wouldnt be anything romantic. And Im-Im dating MonaDamnit Mona! I was supposed to meet her like an hour ago! What is wrong with me?!
Ross: No! No its not. Joey, this is a smart idea.
Ross: Really?
Ross: Oh Rach thats great. Thats great. (They hug and Joey breathes a sigh of relief.)
(Ross closes the door slowly.)
Phoebe: (walking over to Ross) Ross?
Ross: Dont thank me! If you wanna thank something, thank the volcano that erupted thousands of years ago, killing but perfectly preserving an entire civilization. (Rachel just looks at him.) Heres Warrens number.
Monica and Ross: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 (Ross runs to be caught by Monica, but she moves out of the way)
Ross: (shaking head) Oh Joey, Joey! But still, I mean, it seems like you guys are having a great time together.
Ross: What do you mean?
Ross: Well that I can believe.
Ross: Hey, so uh, y'know how there's something I wanted to talk to you about?
Ross: Look, were just friends now! Okay? Why would I do anything stupid?
Rachel: So. Ross, Ive bugged him about this a million times, hes not gonna change.
Ross: (sits down at the table) Oh, eh, just thinking about Emily getting married tomorrow. (Joey panics.)
Ross: Hm-mmm.
(Ross returns.)
(He turns to get his coat and Monica gives Rachel and Phoebe two thumbs up as Chandler walks over to Ross.)
RACHEL: OK, Ross, listen to me, I am not yours to save.
Ross: What am I looking at?
Joey: Ooh, Ross, look! Look! (Points behind Ross.)
Ross: Me too!
Ross: (turning and looking) What? Where?
Joey and Ross: Yeah!!
ROSS: I am really not going. I don't get it. They already live together, why do they need to get married?
(Ross stares in shock at him as he angrily puts down the chicken and takes off his coat.)
Ross: It's theChandler!!
Ross: Yeah? What about ah, that bike messenger you hit?
Joey: But you can't stay with Phoebe, Ross! We're-we're roomies!
ROSS: Calm down, I'm blow drying.
Joey: Hey Ross, will you pass me that knife?
Rachel: Okay, Ross, I'm really trying to tell you something here.
Ross: Is the old woman on the bicycle still alive?
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Oh, hi Ross! (To Rachel) See? Other people call me!
Ross: Gunther! Gunther. Gunther, please tell me you didnt say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the Xerox place.
Ross: Huh, I don't know what to pick. Am I more thankful for my divorce or my eviction? Hmm.
Ross: So where are we going next?
Ross: What?
Gary: Ross!
Mona: Hi! Hi. Hi, Rachel! (to Ross) Whats she doing here?
Ross: My friend Bethel rescued him from some lab.
Ross: You need me to go down there with you and hold your hand?
Ross: What is it?
Ross: Wow, uh, Joey that's-that's great. Thanks man.
Ross: What? What? What? What is it?
Ross: Uh-huh. (Phoebe grunts.)
Ross: Uh-huh. Thank Joey!
Rachel: I would love to live with you Ross; thats-thats great! Thank you!
Joey: (To Ross) You okay man?
Ross: All right! All right! It was the best nap ever!
Ross: Well, Im-Im just glad I could, yknow, help you out.
[Phoebe turns back around but Rachel is gone. Ross enters.]
Ross: (coming back in) Did you say something?
Gary: (To Ross) Okay, go ahead.
Ross: Wow! I could've died tonight.
Ross and Joey: Bye!
Ross: She was blonde? (he looks surprised for a while, but then gets a "gotcha" expression on his face... There's knocking at the door.) Just a sec.! Okay, okay. This one's name is Sandy. She's got a degree in early childhood education, uhm... she worked for her last family for three years.
Ross: (getting angry) That said it was my sandwich?!
ROSS: Humm, that sounds, I don't, perfect.
Ross: That's okay, Joe.
Phoebe: Wow! Im-Im so happy for you guys. (To Ross) This is so-so, not stupid.
Ross: You talked to her?
Ross: Wow!
Ross: Okay, look, yesterday I would've even considered calling her back, but my ex-wife calls on the same day I have a near death experience. I mean, that-that has got to mean something!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is complaining about Carol.]
Ross: Well, okay, what-what did she say?
Ross: Huh.
Ross: I cant believe in four weeks theyre gonna be married!
Ross: Oh, be-because of the leather pants.
Joey: No, come on Ross! (He grabs his bag so he cant leave) Look, Ross, we have to get past this.
Ross: (on machine) "Hey Ross, it's you!" (Hits the stop button) Oh yeah, no that's-that's an old message, nobody needs to hear that.
Ross: We, we just decided to uh, to go for it.
Ross: (entering, downtrodden) Hi.
Ross: Someone at work ate my sandwich!
Ross: And for the record, it took two people to break up this relationship!!
(Ross is stunned.)
Ross: Oh, ah, you dont need that.
Ross: Hero, I uh, I dont knowwell, all right.
Joey: Yeah, hero sandwiches. (Points at Ross who points back.)
Ross: Nevermind! (Goes back to his mailbox.)
Ross: And she just gave you this?
Ross: (barely containing himself at this point) Well, you have fun tonight.
Ross: Oh no-no-no, Im there.
Ross: Are you serious?!
Ross: (looks at his watch) 2:17.
Joey and Ross: No.
Ross: I dont think you had an open mind about the name Ruth. I mean, come on, little Ruthie Geller, how-how cute is that?
Ross: Yeah, no one talks like that!
Joey and Ross: Yeah!
ROSS: [uncomfortable] Good, so everybody's here. Everybody's good. So, were you gonna play something, Phoebe?
Ross: What-what is it?!
Ross: (to Caitlin) Hey uh, y'know that smell gas has?
Ross: Who the hell is Jordie?
Ross: Yeah? How much?
Ross: ON A CAT??!!!!
Ross: Wow! I thought you would be a little more shocked.
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: What?
Ross: I know! (Looks at the ball in his hands.) Don't switch hands, okay?
Ross: Uhh, yeah it would! Let's do it!
Ross: I dont know, I told her it was stupid to put off the wedding just because the hall was gone and she liked flipped out.
Ross: Yknow what I think it is? I think youve made such a nice home for her over the last nine months that she just doesnt want to leave.
ROSS: I, I know it's big, I just didn't know it was uh, ha-ha big.
Ross: Well, who's gonna kiss my sister.