words in movies
(She hands the baby to Joey who pulls down the blanket to reveal Rosss face where the babys should be.)
Ross: (crying) I hope youre a better father than youre a friend!! (Cries again and Joey wakes up in horror.)
Phoebe: It does! How would you feel if you couldnt share your cooking? Or-or imagine how Ross would feel if he couldnt teach us about dragons.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Rachel are there as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Joey: Hey Ross! The babys kicking!
Ross: What?! It is?! (He tries to quickly remove his gloves, but runs into trouble and finally throws them off of his hands like a hockey player in a fight and grabs Rachels belly.)
Ross: Hey, when-when was it kicking? What happened?
Ross: My God, the babys kicking. Thats great. Although I kinda wish I-I wouldve been there to feel the kicking for the first time yknow.
Ross: Look, I-I dont want to miss anymore baby stuff. So Here. Heres my new pager number, okay? Anytime anything pregnancy related happens use it! Ill be there! Okay? I dont care if its three in the morning and all you want is ice cream.
Joey: Absolutely. But, were gonna stop by the hospital just to be sure, okay? Ill page Ross on the way. Come on.
Joey: (seeing Ross) Oh hey-hey!
Ross: (rushes in) Is everything okay?
Ross: Your page said come to the hospital, what? What was it? What happened?
Ross: Oh. Oh. Thank God, most women dont even feel them.
Ross: Oh when you beeped me I was on line at the concession stand at the movie theater.
Ross: No IMona!
Ross: What? Why? Whats wrong?
Ross: No really, you tell me whats up.
Rachel: I-I forgot my underwear. (Ross lets her go.)
Ross: (To Joey) So, thanks so much for bringing her to the hospital.
Ross: Yeah but still, I mean it shouldve been me. Im the dad.
Joey: Oh uh, hey. Not as good as this guy! (Grabs Ross around the shoulders.) He brought Twizlers!
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Chandler: Okay. (They switch places and Chandler gets out a credit card.) So uh, Ross is kinda bummed huh?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is balancing an aluminum can on her stomach as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Hey Ross! Check it out! I learned a new trick!
Ross: Hey uh, I brought you some lunch.
Ross: Well yeah!
Rachel: Oh Ross!! (Runs to the bathroom and closes the door.)
Ross: What?! What?! Rach what?!
Ross: I made her favorite, tuna salad with pickles.
Ross: (to Rachel) I-Im sorry Rach, I didnt know. Are you gonna be okay?
Ross: I cant believe this! I shouldnt be the one making her throw up!
Ross: Yeah? Not to you, because you know this stuff. I dont know any of it and Im the father. I wish Id be more involved yknow.
Ross: Yeah.
Joey: The thing is cause I live with Rachel Im here for a lot of the stuff, okay? (To Rachel) And Ross Ross is missing everything. So
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
Ross: No I-I-I would love to be around for you and the baby. And we-we can just try it like on a temporary basis.
Rachel: But Ross, its you and me!
Ross: So? Sure! But it-it wouldnt be anything romantic. And Im-Im dating MonaDamnit Mona! I was supposed to meet her like an hour ago! What is wrong with me?!
Ross: No! No its not. Joey, this is a smart idea.
Ross: Really?
Ross: Oh Rach thats great. Thats great. (They hug and Joey breathes a sigh of relief.)
Ross: I want to go to the bathroom. (exits)
Ross: Wha? No no! Ah! (Ross scarfs all of his trifle down in about a second. He looks like hes going to throw up.) (Lying) All gone! So good! Maybe Chandler has some left.
Ross: Ugh, easy for you to say, you already know what your kids names are going to be.
Ross: Okay, hopefully this time mom wont boo you.
(They both run to rip the covers off the bed, but are interrupted by Ross.)
Ross: Not so good.
Ross: Yes!! I knew it!! (To the people who didn't make it.) Bye-bye! So long! Later!
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Yeah, it is.
Ross: Hey, y'know while were on that, when are you gonna tell my sister that you dont live here anymore.
Ross and Chandler: Hi!
Ross: No! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! You can have this back when the five pages are done! (After Joey walks past, Ross throws the ball down in pain.) Ahh! (Chandler shows him the burn spots on his oven mitts.)
Ross: Well, at least she's with Pop-Pop and Aunt Phyllis now.
Ross: What's up?
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Well, you just
Ross: What?!
Ross: Okay, well, that Wow, okay, well, umm then maybe, at least we can, we can talk about us again.
Ross: What?!
Rachel: What are you talking about Pheebs? (Takes out her compact) I don't (She gasps when she looks in the mirror and sees her face.) (To Ross) Oh my God, you drew on me?!
RACHEL: (as Ross) "Yeah.� That works for me." (Clears throat twice more.)
Ross: Yeah. (sees the bill) Op! Uh-oh! I think your Dad mustve added wrong. He only tipped like four percent.
Ross: Are you saying your kid eats soup better than my kid?
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Rach, uh, you still looking for a place?
Joey: (angrily) Ross!
Ross: (on phone) No-no-no, thats great! Ill be there Monday. And thank you again! (Listens) Okay. (Hangs up) (To All) Umm, that was the head of the Paleontology department at N uh, Y, uh U!
Ross: (outside the door) So Im gonna take off then!
Ross: Hey!
Ross: No!
Gary: Hey, it's okay. It was just a car backfire. (Joey slowly moves off of Ross.) Hey, look at that! You tried to save your buddy. You see that? You see what he did?
Ross: No.
Ross: There you go. Thank you!
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Yeah, itll be like a funny Thanksgiving story!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is getting ready for a date with Monica as Ross enters.]
Ross: There was one! She's it! All the rest look like they should live under a bridge!
Ross: What the hell was that?!
Ross: (backing away) I'm good.
Ross: Yeah, right.
Ross: Well
(Ross looks at Rachel.)
Ross: Uh, yknow what? Ill tell you who it hurts! It hurts the kid who has all his clothes stolen in gym class so he has to go to the principals office wearing nothing but a catchers mitt!
(In the hallway, Ross all dejected, sits down on the step.)
(Cut to Chandler, Ross and Roger sitting at the table. Ross is upset)
ROSS: Why, why, why can't you stand me being here? I don't, I, we're just, ya know, we're just havin' fun.
Ross: All right, I see what you guys are saying. I'll uh, I'll go downstairs and fill out an application.
Joey: Yeah, it is! You wouldnt have lost the ring, right? Yknow what, Ross you were right from the start, he (Chandler) should be your best man.
Ross: I will be! Listen, I dont want you teaching my son that stuff anymore. Okay?
Ross: Well, they painted over the word Sapien for one thing, then they rearranged the figures, lets just leave it at that.
Rachel: Oh Ross, honey you gotta stop torturing yourself!
Ross: I just, I had to see you one more time before you took-off.
Ross: No, she likes that. Yeah. Faking sleep doesnt work either, I cant tell you how many mornings I woke up with her...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's balcony, Ross and Phoebe are grilling some burgers and hot dogs.]
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Hey, that guy did not hypnotise me! Okay.
Ross: Really?!
Ross: Okay, you are totally making this up.
Ross: Ok, um, uh, more clothes in the dryer? (Ross turns and bangs his head on an open dryer door.) I'm fine, I'm fine.
Ross: And thank you, for that.
Ross: (while Rachel is finishing her rant) Okay! Okay! Okay! Its okay. (Rachel stops.) Its okay. Hey, its too weird for you, I wont see her again.
Ross: Anyway seriously, uh just just talk to the guy, okay? And tell me how it goes. (walks towards the door until )
Ross: What-what is love really?
Ross: (smiling) Are you sure?
Monica: Okay, you stay here, and just wait by the phone. Spray Lysol in my shoe, and wait for Ross to kill you.
Ross: Okay, how about, for a guy, Thatcher?
Chandler: Look, Ross, you have what you want, youre back with Rachel. If you bring this up now youre gonna wreck the best thing that even happened to you.
Ross: I'll get it! I will get that! (Runs over and opens the door.)
Ross: Do you like it?
Chandler: Well, I think, I think Ross knows about me and Monica.
Ross: Things you find in the ocean, (to Joey) You're gonna be on "Pyramid"!!
Ross: Actually Im a palian Dinosaurs is fine the drawing is not.
Ross: I dont know what youre talking about.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross has just finished playing.]
Ross: Exactly, itll be illegal for him to drink at his own bachelor party.
Ross: Yes, second in two years. Third overall.
Chandler: You know, Ross, some scientists are now saying that, that monkeys and babies are actually different.
Chandler: The guy was hammered, okay? Theres no way, you look like Rosss mother.
Ross: Gas? Wow! Intense.
Ross: They put that in.
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: (To All) Was I talking to her about gas?
(Ross closes the door slowly.)
Phoebe: (walking over to Ross) Ross?
Ross: Dont thank me! If you wanna thank something, thank the volcano that erupted thousands of years ago, killing but perfectly preserving an entire civilization. (Rachel just looks at him.) Heres Warrens number.
Monica and Ross: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 (Ross runs to be caught by Monica, but she moves out of the way)
Ross: (shaking head) Oh Joey, Joey! But still, I mean, it seems like you guys are having a great time together.
Ross: What do you mean?
Ross: Well that I can believe.
Ross: Hey, so uh, y'know how there's something I wanted to talk to you about?
Ross: Look, were just friends now! Okay? Why would I do anything stupid?
Rachel: So. Ross, Ive bugged him about this a million times, hes not gonna change.
Ross: (sits down at the table) Oh, eh, just thinking about Emily getting married tomorrow. (Joey panics.)
Ross: Hm-mmm.
(Ross returns.)
(He turns to get his coat and Monica gives Rachel and Phoebe two thumbs up as Chandler walks over to Ross.)
RACHEL: OK, Ross, listen to me, I am not yours to save.
Ross: What am I looking at?
Joey: Ooh, Ross, look! Look! (Points behind Ross.)
Ross: Me too!