words in movies
(She hands the baby to Joey who pulls down the blanket to reveal Rosss face where the babys should be.)
Ross: (crying) I hope youre a better father than youre a friend!! (Cries again and Joey wakes up in horror.)
Phoebe: It does! How would you feel if you couldnt share your cooking? Or-or imagine how Ross would feel if he couldnt teach us about dragons.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Rachel are there as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Joey: Hey Ross! The babys kicking!
Ross: What?! It is?! (He tries to quickly remove his gloves, but runs into trouble and finally throws them off of his hands like a hockey player in a fight and grabs Rachels belly.)
Ross: Hey, when-when was it kicking? What happened?
Ross: My God, the babys kicking. Thats great. Although I kinda wish I-I wouldve been there to feel the kicking for the first time yknow.
Ross: Look, I-I dont want to miss anymore baby stuff. So Here. Heres my new pager number, okay? Anytime anything pregnancy related happens use it! Ill be there! Okay? I dont care if its three in the morning and all you want is ice cream.
Joey: Absolutely. But, were gonna stop by the hospital just to be sure, okay? Ill page Ross on the way. Come on.
Joey: (seeing Ross) Oh hey-hey!
Ross: (rushes in) Is everything okay?
Ross: Your page said come to the hospital, what? What was it? What happened?
Ross: Oh. Oh. Thank God, most women dont even feel them.
Ross: Oh when you beeped me I was on line at the concession stand at the movie theater.
Ross: No IMona!
Ross: What? Why? Whats wrong?
Ross: No really, you tell me whats up.
Rachel: I-I forgot my underwear. (Ross lets her go.)
Ross: (To Joey) So, thanks so much for bringing her to the hospital.
Ross: Yeah but still, I mean it shouldve been me. Im the dad.
Joey: Oh uh, hey. Not as good as this guy! (Grabs Ross around the shoulders.) He brought Twizlers!
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Chandler: Okay. (They switch places and Chandler gets out a credit card.) So uh, Ross is kinda bummed huh?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is balancing an aluminum can on her stomach as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Hey Ross! Check it out! I learned a new trick!
Ross: Hey uh, I brought you some lunch.
Ross: Well yeah!
Rachel: Oh Ross!! (Runs to the bathroom and closes the door.)
Ross: What?! What?! Rach what?!
Ross: I made her favorite, tuna salad with pickles.
Ross: (to Rachel) I-Im sorry Rach, I didnt know. Are you gonna be okay?
Ross: I cant believe this! I shouldnt be the one making her throw up!
Ross: Yeah? Not to you, because you know this stuff. I dont know any of it and Im the father. I wish Id be more involved yknow.
Ross: Yeah.
Joey: The thing is cause I live with Rachel Im here for a lot of the stuff, okay? (To Rachel) And Ross Ross is missing everything. So
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
Ross: No I-I-I would love to be around for you and the baby. And we-we can just try it like on a temporary basis.
Rachel: But Ross, its you and me!
Ross: So? Sure! But it-it wouldnt be anything romantic. And Im-Im dating MonaDamnit Mona! I was supposed to meet her like an hour ago! What is wrong with me?!
Ross: No! No its not. Joey, this is a smart idea.
Ross: Really?
Ross: Oh Rach thats great. Thats great. (They hug and Joey breathes a sigh of relief.)
Rachel: Uh, yeah. Uh, Monica, y'know, honey, I've been thinking about it and I've decided thisthis whole Ross thing, it's just not a good idea.
ROSS: Whip it out, whip it out.
[Scene: Mrs. Verhoevens Apartment, Ross is back to inquire about the elder Verhoevens health or lack there of.]
ROSS: [to Chandler] So what's it shaped like?
Ross: J-j-just relax, nobody yelled. Jack just was calling to make sure that you were getting better.
[Scene: An aircraft cabin, Ross and Rachel are on their way to Vegas.]
Monica: Guys. I thought you were taking Ross to the game?
Phoebe: (entering with some guy) Hey. Ooh Ross! Howd the conversation go?
ROSS: Hey.
ROSS: Hey?
Ross: Anyone else? Huh? Bring em on!
Ross: Hi, did you order some bananas?
[Ross kicks her again]
[Scene: Ralph Lauren. Mr Zelner's office. Ross knocks on the door and enters.]
ROSS: What?
ROSS: Technically, huh, no.
ROSS: Sexy?
ROSS: No kidding?
ROSS: Really?
ROSS: What?
ROSS: You'd wait?
Ross: Nobody likes change.
ROSS: Women really want this?
Ross: Do you think if the Ralph Lauren people offered her her old job back, she would take it?
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross enters and checks his messages.]
Rachel: Ross Im so sorry. Okay. I-I will promise I will straighten this out with him tomorrow in person, or via e-mail.
Ross: You'd better hope not because I just read what you put on your page today.
ROSS: Hi everyone.
Ross: Thank you. (they shake hands) All right, here I go. Hey, remember how scary it used to be going up to girls in college?
ROSS: What's wrong with people having sex?
Monica: Umm, if ah, it might be okay if Ross came skiing?
ROSS: Pop it in.
ROSS: Oh look, did, did you just see that? Did you see? He just waved, he just waved, he's never waved before, you've never waved before. Yes he has. Very good.
Chandler: See, it pays to know the man who wears my shoes. (Joey and Ross wonder what he means) Me.
Ross: Oh my God! Of course, of course. (To the class.) Umm, would you please excuse me for a moment? Umm, do you know each others hometowns? Why dont you (Motions that they should learn everyones hometown.) (To Phoebe) Wh-whats going on?
Rachel: Ross gave it to me.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross is getting coffee as Joey comes from God knows where! Some back area of Central Perk around the corner that weve never seen! Weeeiiirrrddd .]
ROSS: Well, there's no way I'm gonna get a shot. Maybe they can take the needle and thquirt it into my mouth, you know, like a thquirt gun.
Ross: It's a big deal to me. This is great, Monica. I really appreciate this.
Ross: If you wanna put a label on it.
Ross: That's all right, Rach, we got the bags. Hi, hello. Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what up?
ROSS: Oh, no no, I am.
ROSS: Goodnight.
ROSS: Wha, uhh, what?
ROSS: What, it's not your fault.
ROSS: Really?
ROSS: Twice.
Ross: Oh great! (They get up to dance and Ross is interrupted by a little girl.)
[Time lapse, Ross has been demoted to the back seat with Joey and Chandler. He's not too happy about it.]
(Joey runs off down the hall. Ross tries Monica and Rachel's apartment, but it is locked so he has to stand in the hall and pretend he wasn't listening. Chandler and his mom come out)
Ross: I do not have feelings for Rachel! Okay?! (He goes into her apartment.)
ROSS: Good morning.
Ross: I am this close to tugging on my testicles again.
ROSS: Man, I sure miss Julie.
ROSS: I know.
Ross: (sarcastic) I don't see why not.
Ross: Yeah, no, youre right, I know, youre right, Im not, Im not gonna do it. All right, thanks guys. (Gets up to leave.)
Rachel: Ohh... (Ross mouths HA-HA at Monica and takes two cookies and she looks at him angrily)
ROSS: Oh my god. You are pure evil.
CHANDLER: But it's Ross.
PHOEBE: It's Ross.
Rachel: Ok. (She sits on the bed and Ross sits near her) Thank you for coming with me today.
JOEY: For Ross.
RACHEL: For Ross, Ross, Ross.
Joey: Ross has a boyfriend.
ROSS: Go.
Ross: Y'know, we work in a museum of natural history, and yet there is something unnatural about the way we eat lunch. Now, I look around this cafeteria, and yknow what I see, I see-I see division. Division, between people in white coats and people in blue blazers, and I ask myself, "My God why?!" Now, I say we shed these-these coats that separate us, and we get to know the people underneath. (He takes off his coat and throws it down.) Im Ross! Im divorced, and I have a kid!
ROSS: Monica!
ROSS: That's fine, I'll just wait!
Ross: (buzzes) Wrong! Now you're single. It's actually secret option number three, you meet her at the gate. That way she knows you love her.
Joey: (reacting first by jumping up) Dude! What the hell are you doing?! God! (Heads for his room leaving Ross.)
Ross: Wait a minute, the house was built on radioactive waste, and an ancient Indian burial ground? That would never happen.
ROSS: That sounds great. Same for me.
ROSS: Oh, you're right, I'm sorry.
ROSS: Hello, it's us, all right? It'll be fine.
ROSS: That's a good point.
ROSS: I hear ya.
Ross: No, come on, he doesnt know this stuff. If he knew how you felt.
Monica: Am I doing here? Why? Surprised to see me? Ross brought me. How do you like that?!
Jill: No! They did! (Points to Phoebe and Ross)
ROSS: Whoo!
Ross: All right, I'll see you guys later.
Ross: Me too. So much for my dinosaur/Amelia Earhart theme park.
ROSS: Come on.
Ross: Uh-uh. See, I see.... big passion in your future.
ROSS: Chandler!
Ross: Youre just saying that 'cause I said no to your name!
ROSS: Whoa! You had sex today?
ROSS: Fine.
ROSS: Wow.
Ross: You were incredible! Brand new woman, ladies and gentlemen.
ROSS: Ross.
ROSS: What guys? Oh, yeah.
ROSS: Hey, you guys.
ROSS: Excellent, that was excellent.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its after Ross and Joeys talk with Frank, and Phoebes is finding out what happened.]
ROSS: Oh, thank you, thanks. So uh, how was your night last night?
Ross: Come on, they're gonna love you.
Ross: I dont think so. Hello? (Knocks on the glass, which angers the big, large, angry dog behind the glass and causes them to jump to the other side of the landing.) When you get in there (Joey nods his disapproval.)
ROSS: Come on, don't do this.