words in movies
(She hands the baby to Joey who pulls down the blanket to reveal Rosss face where the babys should be.)
Ross: (crying) I hope youre a better father than youre a friend!! (Cries again and Joey wakes up in horror.)
Phoebe: It does! How would you feel if you couldnt share your cooking? Or-or imagine how Ross would feel if he couldnt teach us about dragons.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Rachel are there as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Joey: Hey Ross! The babys kicking!
Ross: What?! It is?! (He tries to quickly remove his gloves, but runs into trouble and finally throws them off of his hands like a hockey player in a fight and grabs Rachels belly.)
Ross: Hey, when-when was it kicking? What happened?
Ross: My God, the babys kicking. Thats great. Although I kinda wish I-I wouldve been there to feel the kicking for the first time yknow.
Ross: Look, I-I dont want to miss anymore baby stuff. So Here. Heres my new pager number, okay? Anytime anything pregnancy related happens use it! Ill be there! Okay? I dont care if its three in the morning and all you want is ice cream.
Joey: Absolutely. But, were gonna stop by the hospital just to be sure, okay? Ill page Ross on the way. Come on.
Joey: (seeing Ross) Oh hey-hey!
Ross: (rushes in) Is everything okay?
Ross: Your page said come to the hospital, what? What was it? What happened?
Ross: Oh. Oh. Thank God, most women dont even feel them.
Ross: Oh when you beeped me I was on line at the concession stand at the movie theater.
Ross: No IMona!
Ross: What? Why? Whats wrong?
Ross: No really, you tell me whats up.
Rachel: I-I forgot my underwear. (Ross lets her go.)
Ross: (To Joey) So, thanks so much for bringing her to the hospital.
Ross: Yeah but still, I mean it shouldve been me. Im the dad.
Joey: Oh uh, hey. Not as good as this guy! (Grabs Ross around the shoulders.) He brought Twizlers!
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Chandler: Okay. (They switch places and Chandler gets out a credit card.) So uh, Ross is kinda bummed huh?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is balancing an aluminum can on her stomach as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Hey Ross! Check it out! I learned a new trick!
Ross: Hey uh, I brought you some lunch.
Ross: Well yeah!
Rachel: Oh Ross!! (Runs to the bathroom and closes the door.)
Ross: What?! What?! Rach what?!
Ross: I made her favorite, tuna salad with pickles.
Ross: (to Rachel) I-Im sorry Rach, I didnt know. Are you gonna be okay?
Ross: I cant believe this! I shouldnt be the one making her throw up!
Ross: Yeah? Not to you, because you know this stuff. I dont know any of it and Im the father. I wish Id be more involved yknow.
Ross: Yeah.
Joey: The thing is cause I live with Rachel Im here for a lot of the stuff, okay? (To Rachel) And Ross Ross is missing everything. So
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
Ross: No I-I-I would love to be around for you and the baby. And we-we can just try it like on a temporary basis.
Rachel: But Ross, its you and me!
Ross: So? Sure! But it-it wouldnt be anything romantic. And Im-Im dating MonaDamnit Mona! I was supposed to meet her like an hour ago! What is wrong with me?!
Ross: No! No its not. Joey, this is a smart idea.
Ross: Really?
Ross: Oh Rach thats great. Thats great. (They hug and Joey breathes a sigh of relief.)
(The unvoiced hissing continues. In alarm, Ross and Chandler look at the monkey, who is now in some distress.)
Ross: Hi.
Ross: It'll be nice to get this off finally, won't it? Yes it will. (Marcel resists) Or we can leave it on for now, that's fine.
[Ross and Rachel hug.]
Ross: I do.
Ross: Yes, yes, that's right...
Rachel: Ohhh!!!! [looking at something behind Ross]
Ross: What? [the cat jumps on his shoulders] Ow!
Emily: Ohh, Ross, please!
Ross: Wait a minute, is it because Joey and I didnt invite him to that Knicks game a couple of weeks ago?
Rachel: (to Ross) Yes! Did you see that?
Ross: Come on you guys, we're sorry, alri...? Our subway broke down.
Ross: Good.
Rachel: Umm, okay, I think I'm-I'm just gonna-just gonna say it. Just gonna say it. Uhh, (pause) I'm still in love with you Ross.
Ross: People are doing it in front of my book!
Ross: Fine.
Rachel: Good. (Ross leaves)
Phoebe: Okay, scarfs done. (Its not really a scarf, its just a bunch of yarn that Phoebe has tied together. Just then, Ross and Emily enter dragging with them Joey and Chandler.)
Ross: Okay, its not, its not.
Ross: (yelling, thinking Emily can hear him through the answering machine all the way to New York.) I love you too! Im, Im gonna call you right now from the phone booth! (Realises) You cant hear me. (Goes to make his call.)
[Rachel and Ross go out in the hall]
Ross: Is this about Mark?
Ross: Yeah!
Rachel: Ross, it just wouldnt have been feasible.
Ross: Oh well yeah, actually I was going to talk to her when you guys all came in the room.
Ross: Yes, you can, very much.
Ross: No!!
Ross: What?
Rachel: Ross? Look, whatever this relationship stuff that Emily wants, just give it to her. Come on, the bottom line here is that you love her. So just fix whatever she wants fixed. Just do it. (The phone starts ringing.) I mean, you're gonna have to try. You'll just gonna hate yourself if you don't. (The phone keeps ringing.) Oh come on answer it! It's driving me crazy!
Ross: She, she was different.
Ross: She was...
Ross: What? Okay, okay, okay, okay.
JOEY: Ross, listen. I got two words for you. Threesome.
Ross: WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!!!
Ross: You think?
Ross: Hey, youre right.
Ross: Y'know what, 100 million people went to see a movie about what I do, I wonder how many people would go see a movie called, Jurassic Parka.
Rachel: Whats this? Is this Rosss wedding invitation?
Ross: No, no. The vet says unless he's in a place where he has regular access to some... monkey lovin,' he's just gonna get vicious. I've just gotta get him into a zoo.
[ Scene: The freeway. Rachel is driving Monica's Porsche, while using her mobile phone. Ross is sitting next to her.]
(Ross looks at her, then leaves slamming the door behind him.)
ROSS: Oh right, right.� (They pause and exchange a glance. Then, Ross looks away.)� So, are you . . . ah . . . you excited about your, your first night away from Emma?
Ross: When, when were you... under me?
Ross: Rach, I got a message from you.
Ross: Wha... you're uh, you're, you're over me?
Ross: You're over me?
(Ross and Rachel hug.)
Chandler: (showing her the pictures) Heres a picture of Ross. (Shows another one.) And thats me. (Another one.) And thats me and Ross. (Another one.) Oh-ho, that is a picture of our first kiss as a married couple.
Joey: Your thumb? Thats weird. (Makes a fist.) You sure youre punching right? Make a fist. (Ross just looks at him with his thumb in a cast.) Maybe later. Ross I feel terrible.
Ross: What?!
Ross: You still love me?
Ross: Hello! Can I get you anything? Huh? Lens cleaner? Your battery okay? (Rachel bursts in carrying two boxes and Ross jumps up.) Rachel!
Ross: I got tenure. I didn't win the lottery... Hey Rach, so uh... how did your thing go?
PHOE: OK honey, you're dating Ross.
Mona: Yeah, yknow. Happy holidays from Mona and Ross. Itll be cute, okay?
Ross: Well, maybe the crazy fog has lifted and she realises that life without me.... a-sucks.
Ross: Oh, that's great, that is great! (Hugs and kisses Carol. Then picks up a picture frame)
Monica: (to Ross) I can't believe you did that.
Ross: Yeah, well.
Ross: There are naked ladies there too.
[Scene: The Philly, Ross is dancing with Chloe.]
Ross: Hey guys!
Ross: I sortve already asked Chandler.
Ross: Mon, look at yourself. You have cookie on your neck.
Ross: Yeah that's the same.
Ross: Enough with geography for the insane, okay? Lets play some ball, guys.
Ross: Oh, great! Listen, oh I had to get you a whole new battery. I got you the best one I could, cause thats not where you want to skimp.
Chandler: (to Ross) You be cool. (He opens the door and lets her in as they all turn there backs on her.)
Ross: Great. Great.
Ross: IThey would not let us get married when we were that drunk!
Ross: Here. (Hands her, her cough drops) (to Rachel) At least I made ten bucks in my relationship.
Ross: Every day is Lesbian Lover Day.
Ross: Wow! Yeah!
Ross: Good call!
Ross: Hey listen man, about the stripper
Ross: Hey-hey, what are those?
Rachel: Yeah, I have to tell Ross that I love him. Now honey, you take care, you dont have those babies until I get back. (Kisses her stomach.)
Ross: Okay, see ya later.
Ross: Ohh! That would be great.
Mrs. Bing: (To phone) Okay, thank you. (To Ross) It's the Italian Hand-Licker, isn't it.
ROSS: I got some, uh, hers and hers towels for Susan and Carol. And, uh, I got this blouse for mom.
[Ross enters with several bags from shopping.]
ROSS: [doorbell buzzes] Hello.
Ross: What's goin' on?
Ross: (entering) Hey guys!
Ross: Yeah, right!
Ross: According to Chandler, what phenomenon scares the bejeezus out of him?
Ross: Uh, Rachel, Ive been thinking. I dont think us getting together tonight is such a good idea. Im calling it off.
Rachel: Oh, come on Ross! I think it would be really good for you!
Monica: No! Joey and Ross dont know anything and Chandler still thinks that Phoebes pregnant.
Ross: They make you take an oath?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Ross are eating Chinese.]
Ross: Not on you! On the stripper!
MR. GREENE: Oh hello Ross, where have you been?
Ross: 'Yes', how about. C'mere. Gimme!
Charlie: There's an indoor pool, you can swim there! (Ross agrees)
Ross: That is really nice lying! No way is that the reason!
[Scene: Phoebes Work, Ross is now trying to stop Jasmine from telling Phoebe.]
Ross: No, no you don't understand the animal hospital is way across town he's choking I don't know what else to do.
Ross: Its a legitimate learning technique. (Looking around and seeing the woman behind him glaring at him.) Wow!