words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are sitting in their recliners watching TV. Monica, Ross, and Phoebe are there.]
ROSS: This screen is amazing, I mean Dick Van Dyke is practically life-size.
ROSS: Hey you. [they stand together in front of the TV.]
CHANDLER and JOEY: Woah, hey, yo. [Rachel and Ross move]
ROSS: Oh you know, pretty much the usual, uh, sun shining, birds chirping.
ROSS: [beeper goes off] Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to get to the museum. So um, I'll see you tonight.
RACHEL: OK. [they go to kiss but everyone's watching so Ross just kisses her on the top of her head and leaves]
ROSS: Bye guys.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross and Rachel are returning from a movie.]
ROSS: I told you there was going to be sub-titles.
ROSS: It would really help when I'm kissing you if you didn't shout out my sister's name.
ROSS: Oh.
ROSS: Mon.
ROSS: Mon.
ROSS: What, what.
ROSS: And that's, that's funny why?
ROSS: I, I know it's big, I just didn't know it was uh, ha-ha big.
ROSS: OK, my hands were no where near your butt.
ROSS: No see now, now I can't because uh, I'm feeling too self conscious.
ROSS: Nuh, uh, the moment's gone.
ROSS: That's romantic.
ROSS: No.
ROSS: No.
ROSS: No.
[Ross enters]
ROSS: That was 14 hours ago.
ROSS: Oh. Listen, have you ever been uh, you know, foolin' around with a girl and uh, she started laughin'?
ROSS: Yeah. I don't know, I've been wanting this since like ninth grade typing, ya know. And I just want it to be perfect and right and. . . why isn't that laser beam cutting through the paint?
ROSS: Hey.
[Rachel and Ross go out in the hall]
ROSS: No, you, ya know there's no need to make it u. . . how?
ROSS: Humm, that sounds, I don't, perfect.
[there's a loud bang at the door so Ross opens it back up to find a shoe has been thrown at it]
[Rachel and Ross enter]
ROSS: Hey.
ROSS: Well we just wanted to stop by and uh, say goodnight.
ROSS: Look at that, they won't even turn their heads.
ROSS: Well, why're you all dressed up?
ROSS: What? You have a date? Who with?
ROSS: C'mon, what's his name?
ROSS: Come on, tell me.
ROSS: Oh, I promise, what.
ROSS: Who's Richard Burke? Doc, Doctor Burke? You have a date with Doctor Burke? Why, why, why should that bother me? I, I love that man, he's like a uh, brother to dad.
ROSS: Doctor Burke is sexy?
ROSS: [his beeper goes off] It's the museum again, can I, oh.
ROSS: [on the phone] Woah, woah, woah australopithicus isn't supposed to be in that display. No. No. No, n, homo-habilus was erect, australopithicus was never fully erect.
[Scene: Museum of Natural History. Ross is fixing a display, Rachel is waiting patiently.]
ROSS: Oh look, I can't believe this. Look, homo-habilus hasn't even learned how to use tools yet and they've got him here wi, with clay pots. Why don't, why don't they just give him a microwave? I'm sorry, I'm sorry this is taking so long, ya know, I, I, it's just it's longer than I expected, we will have dinner.
ROSS: KARL!
[Ross leaves to find Karl. Rachel takes a peek under the loincloth of one of the display models.]
[Scene: Museum of Natural History. Ross enters the display where Rachel is waiting.]
ROSS: Rach.
ROSS: I'm done.
ROSS: Wha, OK, I'm sorry, let's uh, why don't we find someplace else.
ROSS: No, no, we won't.
ROSS: [grabs a fur pelt] C'mon.
[Scene: The museum planetarium. Ross and Rachel enter on stage.]
ROSS: Shh. Do you want cran-apple or cran-grape?
ROSS: [spreads the pelt on the floor] OK, now, sit. OK. [he starts the music system]
[The stereo system booms out 'Billions of years ago. . .'. Ross gets up and changes it to music.]
ROSS: Sorry.
ROSS: Well uh, you see that, that little cluster of stars next to the big one? That is Ursa Major.
ROSS: I've no idea, could be. Listen, I'm sorry I had to work tonight. RACHEL: Oh it's OK. You were worth the wait, and I don't just mean tonight. [they kiss] ROSS: You're not laughing. RACHEL: This time it's not so funny. [They kiss and start undressing. As Rachel tries to pull off Ross's tie she catches it in his mouth. Then they roll across the fur rug.] RACHEL: Ah, oh God. Oh, honey, oh that's OK. ROSS: What. Oh no, you just rolled over the juice box. RACHEL: Oh, thank God. [Scene: Museum of Natural History. The next morning Rachel and Ross are sleeping in the display under a fur.] ROSS: Hi. RACHEL: Hi you. I can't believe I'm waking up next to you. ROSS: I know it is pretty unbelievaaaaah. RACHEL: What? ROSS: We're not alone. [A church youth group is outside the display watching them] CLOSING CREDITS [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are still in their chairs, watching Beavis and Butthead.] [they're laughing along with the show when an alarm goes off] JOEY: Is that the fire alarm? CHANDLER: Yeah. [feels the floor] Oh it's not warm yet, we still have time. JOEY: Cool.
Chandler: Oh, Ross, when you make out card; be sure to make it out to, EM-I-LY.
Ross: So uh, have a great time down there.
Ross: Really?
Carol: Youre a genius, Ross.
Ross: We were drunk! I wouldve married uh, Joey with that amount of alcohol!
Ross: Call me!
Ross: Okay. Cool.
Phoebe: Oh, well get in line missy. (To Ross) So, can I have a ride stud?
Ross: Okay. He was more embarrassed about that than anyone. Okay? And for him to have the courage to walk back in here like nothing happened...
Ross: Well I-I-I dont care how hot it is its-its uh, its wrong.
Joey: How come you have two? Chandler: Well this one's for you. Joey: Get out. Chandler: No, I can't. No-no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, (Puts bracelet on Joey) it's about you and me and the fact that we're (Reading bracelet) best buds. Joey: Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies. Chandler: That's what they'll call us. [The next one is from Episode 618: The One Where Ross Dates A Student.]
Ross: I mean, uhm... you know when I was growing up he was kind of a tough guy... You know a-a-and as a kid I wasn't the athlete I am now.
Ross: I knew it! I knew it! I always knew she liked him! Y'know, shed say no, but here we are! Right? We just broke up, first thing she does!
Ross: Hey Erica, welcome back to town! (pause) Wow, look how big you've gotten.
Phoebe: I still cannot believe youre engaged! (Ross looks at her) Just cause its happening so fast; not cause youre such a loser.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Ross is playing with Emma on the couch after just changing her diaper.]
Ross: Excuse me?
Ross: I got it at Pottery Barn!! Okay?!
Ross: (calls Julie back) Hi? Sorry, we got disconnected... (Walks away.)
Ross: Totally!
Ross: Great!
Ross: Wow!
Ross: Its your turn.
Ross: Hey, yknow what? Not all spring breaks are like that.
Ross: (Yells) Damnit! (Goes to the door to leave. Rachel just enters, sees him and starts laughing)
Ross: (stops laughing) What am I doing?
Ross: Oh, I love that guy! (Laughs.)
(Joey and Ross exchange looks.)
Ross: Oh my God!
Ross: Yeah, um, I don't know if you noticed, but he had a lot to drink, and you know how he gets when he's drun..uh... (He has caught sight of Joey scowling at him) I can't do this, I did it, it was me, I'm sorry, I kissed your mom.
Ross: You ate my sandwich?
Ross: You-you-you-you (trying to remain in control) threw my sandwich away!
Ross: (getting upset) Oh-oh really?
Ross: Ni-chou chi-ma! (walks onto jetway)
Ross: (entering) Okay Pheebs, I know how we're going to figure this out. Okay, clear your mind and answer the first thing that comes into your head. Okay?
Ross: I know when Im 90 shell be like 80 and it wont seem like such a big difference.
Joey: Uh-uh, excuse me, I do have to interrupt on Rosss behalf. I-I think the rule applies here yknow, since she has a chance to get on broad back
[Cut to Ross and Emily standing by the foosball table.]
Rachel: Oh no, I really dont want any(He takes the picture)Oh! Thank you. Oh. Oh Ross
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is answering the door in his robe.] CHAN: No, no, no, no, no, no [opens door to Monica] No. Monica, it's Sunday morning. I'm not running on a Sunday. MNCA: Why not? CHAN: Because it's Sunday. It's God's day. MNCA: OK, if you say stop, then we stop. CHAN: OK, stop. MNCA: No, c'mon, we can't stop, c'mon, we've got three more pounds to go. I am the energy train and you are on board. Woo-woo, woo-woo, woo-woo [Chandler walks out of the apartment, leaving Monica] Woo. [Scene: Rachel and Monica's apartment. Rachel is taking asprin. Ross enters.] ROSS: Hey Rach. RACH: Ahhhh. ROSS: Oh. And how was the date? RACH: Umm, I think there was a restaurant... I know there was wine. . . [Rachel looks at Ross as though she remembers something, but can't place what it is.]
Ross: Oh yeah, we're uh, yeah we're not together. (He starts backing out of the store.)
Ross: All right, did you just say all right?
Ross: What?
Ross: What?
[Scene: A Street, Chandler and Ross are at a newsstand.]
Ross: I fell asleep!
Ross: Aw forget it, its from Pier One. (Theres an angry knock on the door.) Sorry. (Goes and opens the door to an irate Dr. Green.)
ROSS: So don't, I don't see why we have to go to this thing anyway, it's your ex-fiancee's wedding.
Ross: Thanks Aunt Pheebs. Hey, you didn't microwave that, did you, because it's breast milk, and you're not supposed to do that.
Ross: No! I made it seem like I was just calling to chat. Pretty sure, they both think Im interested in them.
[Scene: Ross's bedroom, Ross is working and Rachel is reading a book in bed]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are inspecting the damage to the dollhouse.]
(She does Ross's little gesture. In response Ross puts his hands behind his neck with his arms sticking straight out and starts flapping them together.)
Ross: Hi! (Rushes over to shake her hand instantly.)
Ross: Okay, come on! All right, I gotta go! So good luck at the party. Okay?
Ross: Thank you! And I have to say that first scene when you meet Mac
Ross: Oh my God. I mean
Ross: Thatll be a neat trick, when youre, (looks at the script) when youre dead!
Ross: Totally.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's hotel room, Rachel is still trying to get the ink off and Ross is on the phone to the company. Wait a minute, why exactly are they sharing a hotel room? Didn't they like break-up or something? Did I miss a memo? Or maybe, it's just foreshadowing things to come. Who knows? Maybe the answer's at the bottom of the page. Then again, maybe it isn't and it's just one of those things TV writers just don't explain. Anyhoo ]
Phoebe: (To Ross) Hes holding us back.
Ross: So uh, Emily called last night
Ross: Uh yeah! Let me, let me get that for you.
Ross: Sure, I-I-I... (hugs her and mouths No!!)
RACHEL: Well, um . . . I don't know.� I mean, for a long time nothing.� But you know, actually right before you picked me up, Ross and I had a . . . ah . . . little thing.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: Yes, but in Rosss case, they both know in two weeks thats it.
Ross: Thanks!
Ross: Her date tipped me ten dollars. (Monica laughs)
Ross: (entering) Hi! Sorry Im late. Were you sleeping?
Paul: So Ross, what your problem?
Ross: What?
Ross: This isyou(Ross starts laughing.)
Ross: Eh-whExcuse me?
Chandler: Ross!
Monica: Ross!!
Ross: And the Irish guy wins the joke!
Ross: (noticing the outfit he is wearing) Whatd you do, take him whaling?
(Ross spots Chandler and starts chasing him around the kitchen table. Chandler runs and hides behind Monica.)
Ross: Thats funny. Umm . (Pause, then serious) Its not funny.
Rachel: No! No I, no Ross is not a geek!
Ross: Damn! I cant believe I took her off my list.
Monica: You know, they're not actually supposed to have... (Ross looks at her sheepishly) I'll work on the lumps. Joey, you're going home, right?
Rachel: Oh! Ross is sooo great!
Rachel: Oh, really, really? Well, it wasn't very good for me either. (She turns to leave and Ross over takes her and stands infront on her, his back to the row of doors leading to the hospital rooms)
Phoebe: (turning from Ross.) No!! Hey-hey that's not a Nutter-Butter, that's just an old Wonton!
Ross: Ah.
Ross: Joey?!
Paul: Hi Ross.
Rachel: Ross, Joey is not here.
Rachel: Ross, its okay. You can come out.
Ross: You were at the coffeehouse!
Ross: That was different!
Ross: This is weird for me!
Ross: How is that important?
Ross: I got held up at Dr. Gettleman's office. There was some guy that freaked everybody out.
Rachel: Hey Ross! Any word on the apartment yet?
Ross: Oh, yeah I know, I know, it's a lot of boxes, but again I really appreciate you guys letting me stay here.
Ross: Yeah, take your time.
Ross: So, uh, Rachel, what are you, uh, what're you doing tonight?