words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are sitting in their recliners watching TV. Monica, Ross, and Phoebe are there.]
ROSS: This screen is amazing, I mean Dick Van Dyke is practically life-size.
ROSS: Hey you. [they stand together in front of the TV.]
CHANDLER and JOEY: Woah, hey, yo. [Rachel and Ross move]
ROSS: Oh you know, pretty much the usual, uh, sun shining, birds chirping.
ROSS: [beeper goes off] Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to get to the museum. So um, I'll see you tonight.
RACHEL: OK. [they go to kiss but everyone's watching so Ross just kisses her on the top of her head and leaves]
ROSS: Bye guys.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross and Rachel are returning from a movie.]
ROSS: I told you there was going to be sub-titles.
ROSS: It would really help when I'm kissing you if you didn't shout out my sister's name.
ROSS: Oh.
ROSS: Mon.
ROSS: Mon.
ROSS: What, what.
ROSS: And that's, that's funny why?
ROSS: I, I know it's big, I just didn't know it was uh, ha-ha big.
ROSS: OK, my hands were no where near your butt.
ROSS: No see now, now I can't because uh, I'm feeling too self conscious.
ROSS: Nuh, uh, the moment's gone.
ROSS: That's romantic.
ROSS: No.
ROSS: No.
ROSS: No.
[Ross enters]
ROSS: That was 14 hours ago.
ROSS: Oh. Listen, have you ever been uh, you know, foolin' around with a girl and uh, she started laughin'?
ROSS: Yeah. I don't know, I've been wanting this since like ninth grade typing, ya know. And I just want it to be perfect and right and. . . why isn't that laser beam cutting through the paint?
ROSS: Hey.
[Rachel and Ross go out in the hall]
ROSS: No, you, ya know there's no need to make it u. . . how?
ROSS: Humm, that sounds, I don't, perfect.
[there's a loud bang at the door so Ross opens it back up to find a shoe has been thrown at it]
[Rachel and Ross enter]
ROSS: Hey.
ROSS: Well we just wanted to stop by and uh, say goodnight.
ROSS: Look at that, they won't even turn their heads.
ROSS: Well, why're you all dressed up?
ROSS: What? You have a date? Who with?
ROSS: C'mon, what's his name?
ROSS: Come on, tell me.
ROSS: Oh, I promise, what.
ROSS: Who's Richard Burke? Doc, Doctor Burke? You have a date with Doctor Burke? Why, why, why should that bother me? I, I love that man, he's like a uh, brother to dad.
ROSS: Doctor Burke is sexy?
ROSS: [his beeper goes off] It's the museum again, can I, oh.
ROSS: [on the phone] Woah, woah, woah australopithicus isn't supposed to be in that display. No. No. No, n, homo-habilus was erect, australopithicus was never fully erect.
[Scene: Museum of Natural History. Ross is fixing a display, Rachel is waiting patiently.]
ROSS: Oh look, I can't believe this. Look, homo-habilus hasn't even learned how to use tools yet and they've got him here wi, with clay pots. Why don't, why don't they just give him a microwave? I'm sorry, I'm sorry this is taking so long, ya know, I, I, it's just it's longer than I expected, we will have dinner.
ROSS: KARL!
[Ross leaves to find Karl. Rachel takes a peek under the loincloth of one of the display models.]
[Scene: Museum of Natural History. Ross enters the display where Rachel is waiting.]
ROSS: Rach.
ROSS: I'm done.
ROSS: Wha, OK, I'm sorry, let's uh, why don't we find someplace else.
ROSS: No, no, we won't.
ROSS: [grabs a fur pelt] C'mon.
[Scene: The museum planetarium. Ross and Rachel enter on stage.]
ROSS: Shh. Do you want cran-apple or cran-grape?
ROSS: [spreads the pelt on the floor] OK, now, sit. OK. [he starts the music system]
[The stereo system booms out 'Billions of years ago. . .'. Ross gets up and changes it to music.]
ROSS: Sorry.
ROSS: Well uh, you see that, that little cluster of stars next to the big one? That is Ursa Major.
ROSS: I've no idea, could be. Listen, I'm sorry I had to work tonight. RACHEL: Oh it's OK. You were worth the wait, and I don't just mean tonight. [they kiss] ROSS: You're not laughing. RACHEL: This time it's not so funny. [They kiss and start undressing. As Rachel tries to pull off Ross's tie she catches it in his mouth. Then they roll across the fur rug.] RACHEL: Ah, oh God. Oh, honey, oh that's OK. ROSS: What. Oh no, you just rolled over the juice box. RACHEL: Oh, thank God. [Scene: Museum of Natural History. The next morning Rachel and Ross are sleeping in the display under a fur.] ROSS: Hi. RACHEL: Hi you. I can't believe I'm waking up next to you. ROSS: I know it is pretty unbelievaaaaah. RACHEL: What? ROSS: We're not alone. [A church youth group is outside the display watching them] CLOSING CREDITS [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are still in their chairs, watching Beavis and Butthead.] [they're laughing along with the show when an alarm goes off] JOEY: Is that the fire alarm? CHANDLER: Yeah. [feels the floor] Oh it's not warm yet, we still have time. JOEY: Cool.
Ross: (perplexed for a moment) Wait a minute... when you guys walked into the Met, did you go to the right?
Ross: Thats right!
Ross: (entering) Hello!
(Rachel takes the ball from his hands and bounces it off of Rosss forehead and Chandler catches the rebound.)
Ross: Am I?! And was it your idea to postpone the wedding?!
[Scene: The hallway, Ross is sitting on the step drinking a beer as Rachel comes out of the guys apartment.]
[Rachel leaves, and Ross follows her into the hall.]
Ross: No thats not what I want. Uh, Im glad you guys were bonding but I
Ross: Please dont say naked chicks.
Ross: Oh.
Woman At The Wedding: Oh! Of course. (Ross and Chandler pose and she takes the picture.)
Ross: Will you-will you please?
Ross: Just please stop!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are working on the seating chart as Ross enters carrying his tux around.]
ROSS: Hey, Fun Bobby!
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross is trying to open the door with a credit card, with no success.]
Ross: Theyre not listening too me?
Rachel: Ugh, Ross! That was not a near death experience! That was barely an experience!
Ross: Love you guys. (he kisses Monica, he, Rachel and Phoebe leave.)
Ross: No the-the sad thing is, if you had told him how you felt before you kissed her, knowing Joey, he probably just wouldve just stepped aside.
Ross: Yeah Pheebs, come on, you two have completely different styles. Y'know, shes more..(shakes his shoulders, like hes dancing) y'know, and youre more (sees the look from Phoebe and stops)
(Monica, Ross, Chandler, and Joey exit.)
Ross: Youre gonna love me so much. I got Sting tickets!! (Holds up two.)
Ross: I justI-I cant believe shes-shes dating?!
Ross: Oh, no! No-no! No, I tired! But I couldnt. Thats why Im here. Maybe we could attack them together? (He glares at him.) That-thats a no.
[Scene: The Wedding reception, Ross and Emily are in the bathroom and Emily is yelling at him. Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are standing outside the doorway.]
Ross: Okay. Sometimes I feel
Ross: Huh? Yeah, fine, invite whoever you want.
Ross: (jealous) So, um... where did Paolo come from?
ROSS: Ahh, oh that's OK, I mean, he's probably got, you know, parties to go to and stuff. But, ya know, he's moved on. Hey, that, that's the way it goes right.
Monica: Ross!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is reading a magazine and has two tissues stuck up her nose in an attempt to stop the bleeding and as she hears Ross enter, she quickly hides her face behind the magazine and removes the tissues.]
Ross: No! Okay, you mean, you're not gonna talk to her, you're not gonna tell her how you feel?
Ross: Let me see, I gotta see, I gotta see. Oh, a head. Oh, it's, it's huge. Carol, how are you doing this?
Ross: Well, I said it loud.
Ross: Oh, and Chandler and I have this stupid college alumni thing. I can't believe you get to meet Donny Osmond.
ROSS: Hey, I didn't know we were, uh, seeing other people.
Ross: (in accent) Right, will you excuse us for one moment? (Takes Monica aside.) (In his normal voice.) What are you doing?
(Rachel laughs a little too hard as Ross and Jill leave for their date. After they have left, Rachel starts to break down.)
Ross: Thats correct! This is an audio question, what do you do when the baby makes this sound? (Makes a sound like someone is choking a cat.)
Rachel: Ross! Yknow what, I just gotwhy? Why did you do this?!
Ross: Look I told you
Ross: Okay Rach, but
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is waiting for Rachel to return from the airport with Ross.]
[Cut to inside, Monica, Joey and Phoebe are singing while outside, Ross and Rachel are trying to get the cat off of Ross' shoulder.]
[Scene: Phoebes Herbal Guys office, Ross is there about his thing. Ross is looking around the exam room, and he goes over to a large bank of drawers, pulls one out and almost spills it as the herbalist, Guru Saj, enters.]
Ross: Maybe hes just jumping on a pogo-stick and really likes it?
Ross: Oh please! (He sits down.) (To Phoebe) Youre gonna say things now, arent ya?
Monica: And Ross, if it werent for Rachels rumor I mean no one in high school would even know who you were. She put you on the map!
Ross: What?!
Ross: Yay! (To Carol) Seriously, our sex life I was thinking, maybe I dont know, we could try some-some new things. Yknow? For fun?
Ross: Oh, come on!
(Ross picks up the bag... then he and the woman kiss.)
Ross: Yeah! Theyre putting together this panel to talk about these fossils they just found in Peru and The Discovery Channels gonna film it!
ROSS: Um, no, I uh, I have done it before.
Ross: On account of my rage.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: And, I came up with Atlantic City.
Ross: Sweetie, dont worry youll get picked. Chandler.
JOEY: Aww, Rach, I think you look cute (kisses her on the cheek, then looks at Ross) And you, uh, you, you I could eat with a spoon (goes to kiss him).
Ross: I can't believe you guys are moving in together. That's, that's great! I mean...I'm happy for you guys..
Monica: No that is not what happened with us. Well, I was umm, I was really sad that night because this guy that I was Rosss mom.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is neglecting the game of Scrabble, for he's busily drawing on his own childhood in an attempt to help Ross. Marcel chitters about.]
Joey: (entering) Hey. (Ross turns to see who it is, and seeing its Joey he just ignores him and turns back around.) Ross, I know youre pissed at me, but we have to talk about this.
Ross: Oh, (he goes towards Mike in order to shake hands but Mike hugs him) hey, oh... I... I was-I was going for a hand shake.
Ross: (in the accent again) Well, hello Rachel!
Ross: All right, bye!
Ross: Yknow, I-Iyouve done a lot of stupid stuff too! Okay?
Ross: Yeah! Right!
Ross: Congratulations. (Gets up to leave.)
Ross: What?
Ross: Yeah?
ROSS: No, no, uh, it's not what you think. It's um the other thing.
Ross: Excuse me?
(Ross turns around and sees Rachel sitting by the window. She is just glaring at him.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the window waving at Ross.]
Ross: Totally. (Exits.)
Ross: Eh, no problem.
Ross: You know what it's fine. If you're okay with the Barbi thing, so am I.
Ross: Unbelievable, my classmates are gonna think I'm dead, my professors, my... my parents are gonna get phone calls. You're messing with people's feelings here.
Joey: All right! Now you go get that beautiful pig! (Ross hesitates, looks unsure) Oink!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Ross are there, discussing what happened last night.]
Ross: Correct. Her actual favorite movie is...
Mr. Geller: Its older than that. Ross was actually conceived right near this tuxedo.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: And when we were dating we consummated like bunnies!
Ross: Gentlemen, youre pick.
ROSS: Ok, just, just remember how crazy I am about you, ok?
Ross: Well, unless you make some kind of big gesture.
Ross: (to the guys) I gotta go make a fake Ben.
Monica: Okay fine, now Ross
Ross: No, look, uh. You are upset about your father and you're feeling vulnerable and I just don't feel it would be right, I'd feel like I'd be, you know, taking advantage of you.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is looking at Ugly Naked Guy's apartment through binoculars.]
Ross: Its nothing, I just gave her a hug.
ROSS: Yes. [pulls them off and hands them to Mr. Greene] I was just warming up the earpieces for you.
Ross: (happily again) You were worried about me? You didn't know how I was going to react? (He hugs them both.)
Monica: "Oh my God, I love Ross! I hate Ross! I love Ross! I hate Ross!"
Ross: No, Rachel got pulled over for speeding. She forgot her licence so now I have to bring it to her.
Chandler: Du-du-I wrote it, I wrote it on the board! I wrote it on the board, then I went all over New York City looking for ya! I went to Rosss! I went to the coffeehouse! I went to any place that they made sandwiches!
Ross: No, hi, Im, Im an honorary Brown Bird (does the Brown Bird salute.)