words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are sitting in their recliners watching TV. Monica, Ross, and Phoebe are there.]
ROSS: This screen is amazing, I mean Dick Van Dyke is practically life-size.
ROSS: Hey you. [they stand together in front of the TV.]
CHANDLER and JOEY: Woah, hey, yo. [Rachel and Ross move]
ROSS: Oh you know, pretty much the usual, uh, sun shining, birds chirping.
ROSS: [beeper goes off] Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to get to the museum. So um, I'll see you tonight.
RACHEL: OK. [they go to kiss but everyone's watching so Ross just kisses her on the top of her head and leaves]
ROSS: Bye guys.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross and Rachel are returning from a movie.]
ROSS: I told you there was going to be sub-titles.
ROSS: It would really help when I'm kissing you if you didn't shout out my sister's name.
ROSS: Oh.
ROSS: Mon.
ROSS: Mon.
ROSS: What, what.
ROSS: And that's, that's funny why?
ROSS: I, I know it's big, I just didn't know it was uh, ha-ha big.
ROSS: OK, my hands were no where near your butt.
ROSS: No see now, now I can't because uh, I'm feeling too self conscious.
ROSS: Nuh, uh, the moment's gone.
ROSS: That's romantic.
ROSS: No.
ROSS: No.
ROSS: No.
[Ross enters]
ROSS: That was 14 hours ago.
ROSS: Oh. Listen, have you ever been uh, you know, foolin' around with a girl and uh, she started laughin'?
ROSS: Yeah. I don't know, I've been wanting this since like ninth grade typing, ya know. And I just want it to be perfect and right and. . . why isn't that laser beam cutting through the paint?
ROSS: Hey.
[Rachel and Ross go out in the hall]
ROSS: No, you, ya know there's no need to make it u. . . how?
ROSS: Humm, that sounds, I don't, perfect.
[there's a loud bang at the door so Ross opens it back up to find a shoe has been thrown at it]
[Rachel and Ross enter]
ROSS: Hey.
ROSS: Well we just wanted to stop by and uh, say goodnight.
ROSS: Look at that, they won't even turn their heads.
ROSS: Well, why're you all dressed up?
ROSS: What? You have a date? Who with?
ROSS: C'mon, what's his name?
ROSS: Come on, tell me.
ROSS: Oh, I promise, what.
ROSS: Who's Richard Burke? Doc, Doctor Burke? You have a date with Doctor Burke? Why, why, why should that bother me? I, I love that man, he's like a uh, brother to dad.
ROSS: Doctor Burke is sexy?
ROSS: [his beeper goes off] It's the museum again, can I, oh.
ROSS: [on the phone] Woah, woah, woah australopithicus isn't supposed to be in that display. No. No. No, n, homo-habilus was erect, australopithicus was never fully erect.
[Scene: Museum of Natural History. Ross is fixing a display, Rachel is waiting patiently.]
ROSS: Oh look, I can't believe this. Look, homo-habilus hasn't even learned how to use tools yet and they've got him here wi, with clay pots. Why don't, why don't they just give him a microwave? I'm sorry, I'm sorry this is taking so long, ya know, I, I, it's just it's longer than I expected, we will have dinner.
ROSS: KARL!
[Ross leaves to find Karl. Rachel takes a peek under the loincloth of one of the display models.]
[Scene: Museum of Natural History. Ross enters the display where Rachel is waiting.]
ROSS: Rach.
ROSS: I'm done.
ROSS: Wha, OK, I'm sorry, let's uh, why don't we find someplace else.
ROSS: No, no, we won't.
ROSS: [grabs a fur pelt] C'mon.
[Scene: The museum planetarium. Ross and Rachel enter on stage.]
ROSS: Shh. Do you want cran-apple or cran-grape?
ROSS: [spreads the pelt on the floor] OK, now, sit. OK. [he starts the music system]
[The stereo system booms out 'Billions of years ago. . .'. Ross gets up and changes it to music.]
ROSS: Sorry.
ROSS: Well uh, you see that, that little cluster of stars next to the big one? That is Ursa Major.
ROSS: I've no idea, could be. Listen, I'm sorry I had to work tonight. RACHEL: Oh it's OK. You were worth the wait, and I don't just mean tonight. [they kiss] ROSS: You're not laughing. RACHEL: This time it's not so funny. [They kiss and start undressing. As Rachel tries to pull off Ross's tie she catches it in his mouth. Then they roll across the fur rug.] RACHEL: Ah, oh God. Oh, honey, oh that's OK. ROSS: What. Oh no, you just rolled over the juice box. RACHEL: Oh, thank God. [Scene: Museum of Natural History. The next morning Rachel and Ross are sleeping in the display under a fur.] ROSS: Hi. RACHEL: Hi you. I can't believe I'm waking up next to you. ROSS: I know it is pretty unbelievaaaaah. RACHEL: What? ROSS: We're not alone. [A church youth group is outside the display watching them] CLOSING CREDITS [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are still in their chairs, watching Beavis and Butthead.] [they're laughing along with the show when an alarm goes off] JOEY: Is that the fire alarm? CHANDLER: Yeah. [feels the floor] Oh it's not warm yet, we still have time. JOEY: Cool.
Ross: (moves closer) All Im saying is, its one thing being prepared for an attack against like each other; whole another story being prepared for an attack, I dont know, like a (turns and puts his face close to Rachels and screams) surprise!!
Ross: What are you guys doing later?
Dr. Green: Stay calm?!! How do you expect me to stay calm?! This is unacceptable Rachel! And I wanna know why?!! Is it because that punk Ross wont marry you?! Thats it! Is that it?!
Ross: Okay! Okay! Ooh-hey-hey-hey! Okay! Okay! Okay! Ill-Ill tell her tonight I cant see her anymore.
Ross: Not-not really. Th-th-there was just Carol.
Ross: Well look-look Im not calling anybody! Okay? It was like a million years ago!
Ross: Playpen?! Bens seven!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are still giving away all of their secrets.]
Ross: Okay, that's great. (Susan gives her drink to Carol.) No, I'm- Oh.
Ross: Ahh, whoo-hoo!!(He runs back out the door.
Ross: Yeah, but still, cheap shot!
Ross: Dude. (Hugs him.)
Rachel: Noo! Oh no! No! God no! He should not get back together with her. I know that! You know that! Even Ross knows that! But that still doesnt give us the right to erase his message!
ROSS: [pulls the cigarette off his upper lip and hands it to Mr. Greene] Yeah, yes it is, I was just moistening the tip.
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Carol is working on something at the table and Ross is reading a newspaper on the couch.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Ross, and Chandler are making a pit stop on their party tour.]
Ross: (Using a slightly different inflection for each.) I do. I do. I do.
Ross: No! No! No! No! No! I-I-I-II need to, I need to lie down.
Ross: So how long are you in town?
(..then turn back to the desk when the surprise hits them, and Ross and Chandler whip around once more. Monica and Rachel recoil slightly.)
Ross: No really, I-I am! I feel bad!
Ross: Yeah.
Jen: I forgot my paper. (Ross quickly hides the card in his mouth.)
Ross: Uh, middle balcony.
Ross: Okay, but just the jacket. Double-oh and seven are not gettin in there.
Ross: Hi!
[Scene: the bar, Phoebe is still hugging Ross.]
Ross: No, youve heard my practice. Okay? Just-just give me a chance to perform for you and then decide whatever you want. And Im not going to tell you what song Im gonna play either. But uh, lets just say when its over Ill bet there will be a we bit o celebration.
Phoebe: (sitting down next to Ross) Yknow she has a face Ross!
Ross: Department of Sanitation?
Ross: Mm-hmm. Shesshes emotional, but, but ballsy.
Ross: I know. Can you believe that?
Ross: (pause) Together? Like-like to people?
Ross: Okay. (Not happy about it.)
Ross: Uh sure, sure.
Ross: Okay, can we just sign please?
ROSS: Uh, Macy's, third floor, home furnishings.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Huh.
Ross: Huh. Wow, this is great.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Yeah, I kind of uh, have something else planned for you guys.
Ross: Hmm
Ross: Pheebs come on! I mean, consider the source! Of course her ex-husbands gonna say that stuff. Now, if youll excuse me
Ross: The card! I think were there!
Ross: Lets do the card!
Ross: Really?! I mean, even with the card?
Ross: Wha, heh, how could you know, I don't even know!
Ross: And itll be cool to see it again! Yeah!
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Smaller than that.
Ross: Uh, bigger than that.
Rachel: Uh Ross? You asked me that.
Ross: So do we!! So do we!! (Ross notices a couple has been staring at them.) Im sorry you had to see that.
(Rachel and Ross both stop kissing, and quickly step back from each other.)
Rachel: No, no, no, no! Ross, wait! Come on! You know, there’s other stuff. Here’s a nice shirt, look at these nice pants...
Ross: Really.
(Ross groans no.)
Ross: But thats not enough. So So heres a key to my apartment. (Hands her his key.)
Ross: Yeah!
Phoebe: Where?! (Ross exits.)
(Ross enters with a bottle in his hand)
Ross: Oh great, I live on the street.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: No. That guy is.
Ross: I love you!
Ross: Im trying to tell you I made you a mix tape.
Chandler: Yeah I know, we're losing Ross, Joey said hence
Ross: Hell yeah!
[Scene: The hallway, Rachel is convincing Ross that Emily is good for him.]
Ross: Aw, we-we are so (Motions that theyre connected.) So umm, well I-I-I like you and I-I love umm, yknow hanging out with you. And I mean-Im having a lot of fun. (He pauses and thinks there might be more, but decides there isnt.)
Ross: Shake it!
Rachel: What-what if I marry RossOr Joey?
Ross: Shake it!
[Cut to the balcony, Ross has just climbed through the window.]
(Ross continues to climb down. He puts his other foot further down on Joeys torso, but that doesnt work very well and hes forced to wrap his legs around Joey. Which then forces Joey to get a nice and close view of Rosss crotch.)
Ross: Yes. I find it to be something of a conversation piece.
[Scene: N.Y.U, Ross is teaching a class.]
Ross: Move it! Move it! Move it!! Hey!!! Im the teacher!!
Ross: Okay, it was just me and her at the back of the train, and I sat near the door, so shed have to pass by me if she wanted to switch cars. She was totally at my mercy.
Ross: Well if you can't remember, can't we just forget about this?
Ross: Rachel please! That is so inappropriate!
Ross: Okay, okay, so we're in the car. Right? And bang! A shot was fired. And Joey with no regard for his own safety throws himself on me!
Monica: Oh umm, I meant to tell you, Ross is coming.
Ross: Oh and you know what, it will be even better tomorrow, because I won't be constantly interrupted by Joey checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet. (Someone knocks on the door, Ross goes to open and it's Joey, Rachel and Chandler).
Ross: Maybe that will liven up this party.
Ross: Youve seen it, the Geller Yeller.
Ross: Okay, Im going to start climb down you now.
Ross: (sarcastic) Oh! Oh-oh, the bands ready! Well, I-I-we gotta do what the band saysI dont care about the stupid band!!
Ross: Phoebe!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is getting advice from Ross and Joey.]
ROSS: I was doing great with Julie before I found out about you.
Ross: Right.
Ross: And smart!
Ross: Really? Me too!
Ross: That sounds fair.
Ross: All right.
Ross: Fine, you go.
Ross: Huh.
Ross: Veto.