words in movies
(Ross and Emily enter.)
Ross: Oh, we went to see a collection of Victorian doorknobs and the Cupert-Hewitt museum.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Bye. (They kiss.)
Ross: Oh yeah, shes-shes amazing. And-and shes so much fun. And! Yknow what? When Im with her, Im fun! I even signed up for helicopter classes. (Chandler is shocked.) Shes leaving in two days, I dont have to do it.
Ross: Yeah, shes got to go back to London. But you know what? Ive been prepared for this from the start. We both knew we had two weeks together, and thats it. Yknow.
Chandler: Yes, but in Rosss case, they both know in two weeks thats it.
Ross: Pheebs!
Ross: (starts rubbing her belly) Hello! Hello!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross is writing on the Magna-Doodle as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: We have to have a surprise Bon Voyage party for Emily. But its actually for Joshua. (Starts handing out party hats.) Look, he said hes not ready to date, so I had to invite him to a party if I wanted to see him outside of work, and now I have the perfect opportunity to seduce him! (Hands Ross a party hat.)
Ross: Well, as much as Id like to meet Josh and warn him, Emily and I arent going to be here. All right? I mean, shes going to come by first to say good-bye, and then Ive got a whole special evening planned. So Im sorry, no party.
Rachel: Well, it was all Rosss idea.
Ross: You really didnt know?
Ross: (interrupting Monica and Emily) So we should probably get going soon.
Ross: Yeah, but we-we have to be at the Four Seasons for drinks in 15 minutes and then yknow, then The Plaza for dinner.
Ross: No-no-no, no, umm, actually American surprise parties are-are-are very short. Its usually, "Surprise!" And then, "Oh my God, Im so surprisedgood-bye!"
Emily: But Ross, Im such having a great time! Your sister has just been telling me that you used to dress up like little, old ladies and hold make-believe tea parties.
Ross: Monica said that did she? (He squeezes Monicas knee really hardly and Monica winces in pain.)
Emily: (with her coat on, shes leaving with Ross) Thank you so much for this. It was really so thoughtful of you.
Ross: Yes, we have something we have to get to.
Ross: What big thing?
Ross: (stopping them) Okay, that-thats enough! Yknow, lets, lets let someone else play.
(Rachel spins the bottle and it lands on .wait for it .Joshua. (You thought I was going to say Ross, didnt you?) Rachel squeals in delight and starts a slow sexy crawl over to Joshua, making sure he and everyone else watching gets a good look at her cleavage.)
[Cut to Ross and Emily standing by the foosball table.]
Ross: Okay, we could still make dinner if we skipped the appetisers and asked for our check right away.
[Scene: The hallway, Ross is sitting on the step drinking a beer as Rachel comes out of the guys apartment.]
Ross: Thats okay. Shes still in there enjoying her fake party and uh, its too late to do any of the things I had planned, so
Rachel: Oh, Ross, Im sorry. I completely ruined your evening.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Helps a little.
Ross: Yeah, have a seat.
Ross: Thats okay, I mean it was just two-week thing anyway, I just didnt want it to end this way, yknow?
Ross: What do you mean?
Ross: Yeah, I really do. Yeah, but what am I gonna do, I mean we-we both agreed that it was gonna be a two-week thing, yknow no commitment.
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
Ross: You think?
Ross: Hey, youre right.
Ross: Thanks. (He starts to go inside and stops.) What photo album was it?
Ross: Oh my God! Those werent albino kids, that was computer camp! Rach! (He hurries inside and Chandler is taking out the garbage.)
Ross: Maybe that will liven up this party.
Ross: Youve seen it, the Geller Yeller.
Ross: Okay, Im going to start climb down you now.
Ross: (sarcastic) Oh! Oh-oh, the bands ready! Well, I-I-we gotta do what the band saysI dont care about the stupid band!!
Ross: Phoebe!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is getting advice from Ross and Joey.]
ROSS: I was doing great with Julie before I found out about you.
Ross: Right.
Ross: And smart!
Ross: Really? Me too!
Ross: That sounds fair.
Ross: All right.
Ross: Fine, you go.
Ross: Huh.
Ross: Veto.
Ross: Crack isnt even an intravenous drug!
Rachel: Ross, why do you hate our child?
Ross: (walking up with this huge tub-o-popcorn and drink) Hey!
Ross: Uh, no. No, were not.
Ross: No, no, we want to wait, right?
Ross: What? Rach! Come on, thats terrible! Theyre uh theyre babies. Theyre-theyre all beautiful.
Ross: I saw you!
Ross: Youre looking!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey is there. Rachel is looking out of the window and Ross is handing out some Chinese takeout. There's a small SAP in the corner of the screen.]
Ross: Hey.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, and Ross are holding the giant poking device.]
Ross: Not like this!
Ross: Veto.
Ross: Oh hey, show them the picture of your uterus.
RACH: Alright, I got it Ross.
Ross: That's so Janine, you-you-you know what, do you know we're doing right now? You and I, we're interfacing.
Ross: Thats right. The student has become the master.
Ross: Look, Im sorry but you-you-you better go Pheebs.
Ross: You really didnt know?
Ross: No.
Ross: Yes. Im Im sorry. Im so sorry.
Ross: No.
Ross: Permission to veto.
Ross: (from outside the bathroom) Hello?
Ross: Well In-in case of emergency.
Monica: I dont know! Time to kiss a guy maybe?! (Ross laughs.) What are you laughing at Pampers? (He stops laughing and glares at her.)
Ross: The one that always stares at me when I come in?
[Scene: The Recovery Room, Ross is taking pictures of Rachel holding the baby as the rest of the gang enters.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Ross, Monica, and now Chandler are still playing catch. The guys are exhausted and sitting around the room. Monica is still standing all pumped up and being hyper-competitive yet again. {Okay! We get it! She's competitive!! Must we see all the time?!}]
Ross: (not paying attention) Yeah, they dont like you.
Ross: No, wait ! You guys, no, no, you can't leave! Rachel already feels bad that the cake's messed up. How do you think she's gonna feel when she comes back here and all you guys are gone?
Ross: A lot of people are thankful for those. < knock on door>
[Cut to Ross in one of those British phone booths.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Rachel are there as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Hello! I'm in the front seat, okay? I'm Gary's partner!
Joey: Hey Ross! The babys kicking!
ROSS: Well because I have to work on Monday, I have a big presentation.
Ross: I was talking to myself! Youre going down!
Ross and Rachel while looking at each other surprised and shocked: Jill?
Rachel: Ross, I'm telling you, she's giving up getting her eyebrows (points at her own to emphasize the word) shaped to do this alright? Do you understand how important that is in our world?
Ross: No! For all I know, shes trying to find me but couldnt because I kept moving around. No, from now on, Im staying in one place. (He sits down on the bed.) Right here.
[Scene: The museums worker cafeteria, Joey is eating lunch with the rest of the tour guides. Another tour guide tries to sit down in a seat Joey saved for Ross.]
Ross: What? Why? Whats wrong?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are talking to Frank.]
Ross: (rushes in) Is everything okay?
Ross: No IMona!
Joey: (seeing Ross) Oh hey-hey!
Ross: No really, you tell me whats up.
Ross: (To Joey) So, thanks so much for bringing her to the hospital.
Ross: Not for the next few minutes.
<Ross goes into Rachel's room>
Ross: Hey where-where are the pictures that creepy pretzel vendor took of us together?
Ross: Hi. I understand you had a little talk with Emily.
Ross: Well yeah!
Ross: What?! What?! Rach what?!
Ross: Hey uh, I brought you some lunch.
Rachel: Oh Ross!! (Runs to the bathroom and closes the door.)
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: My dad wanted to know if you wanted to play racquetball with us.
Ross: Baby got back (Then Ross turns around and sees their friends standing in the doorway)
Ross: Really?
Monica: Well actually, Ross doesn't.
Phoebe: Ross, please! My make-up! (He walks away angrily.)
Rachel: Ross, please, this is a hospital, ok? That actually means something here.
Ross: You know, Barracuda was the first song I learned to play on the keyboard.
Ross: Uh, Im going to take off.
Ross: What is it?
Ross: Hey, whats behind your back?
Ross: I think Chandlers gone. (He hands her the note.)
Ross: You dont want my opinion?
Ross: (quietly) The red one.
Ross: I whitened them.
Rachel: Look, I am so so happy for you guys, but you getting married just reminds me of the fact that Im not. Im not even close. And I dont know, maybe I just wanted to make myself feel better. And I know that thats dumb, but oh my God you were so depressed when Ross got married that you slept with Chandler!
Ross: Hey. We-we look we look pretty good.
Ross: Who needs a lease when it's family!
Ross: Veto. Helen?
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Well I dont know umm, (Pause) what if we were too tie each other up? (Carols shocked and obviously doesnt like that idea.) Umm, some people eat stuff off one another. (Carol doesnt like that idea either.) Nah! Umm, yknow we-we could try dirty talk? (Carol still says no.) Umm, we could, we could have a threesome.
Ross: (grabbing the car) Okay! Okay! Okay! (He gets in, but into the back seat.)
Ross: I do too! I missed you!
Ross: Hey! (they hug) So, how was Atlantic City?
Ross: That does make sense. Because I do wanna seize some opportunity, but I-I really don't wanna see or talk to her.
Ross: What?
Ross: (not amused) Huh uh-huh.