words in movies
(Ross and Emily enter.)
Ross: Oh, we went to see a collection of Victorian doorknobs and the Cupert-Hewitt museum.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Bye. (They kiss.)
Ross: Oh yeah, shes-shes amazing. And-and shes so much fun. And! Yknow what? When Im with her, Im fun! I even signed up for helicopter classes. (Chandler is shocked.) Shes leaving in two days, I dont have to do it.
Ross: Yeah, shes got to go back to London. But you know what? Ive been prepared for this from the start. We both knew we had two weeks together, and thats it. Yknow.
Chandler: Yes, but in Rosss case, they both know in two weeks thats it.
Ross: Pheebs!
Ross: (starts rubbing her belly) Hello! Hello!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross is writing on the Magna-Doodle as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: We have to have a surprise Bon Voyage party for Emily. But its actually for Joshua. (Starts handing out party hats.) Look, he said hes not ready to date, so I had to invite him to a party if I wanted to see him outside of work, and now I have the perfect opportunity to seduce him! (Hands Ross a party hat.)
Ross: Well, as much as Id like to meet Josh and warn him, Emily and I arent going to be here. All right? I mean, shes going to come by first to say good-bye, and then Ive got a whole special evening planned. So Im sorry, no party.
Rachel: Well, it was all Rosss idea.
Ross: You really didnt know?
Ross: (interrupting Monica and Emily) So we should probably get going soon.
Ross: Yeah, but we-we have to be at the Four Seasons for drinks in 15 minutes and then yknow, then The Plaza for dinner.
Ross: No-no-no, no, umm, actually American surprise parties are-are-are very short. Its usually, "Surprise!" And then, "Oh my God, Im so surprisedgood-bye!"
Emily: But Ross, Im such having a great time! Your sister has just been telling me that you used to dress up like little, old ladies and hold make-believe tea parties.
Ross: Monica said that did she? (He squeezes Monicas knee really hardly and Monica winces in pain.)
Emily: (with her coat on, shes leaving with Ross) Thank you so much for this. It was really so thoughtful of you.
Ross: Yes, we have something we have to get to.
Ross: What big thing?
Ross: (stopping them) Okay, that-thats enough! Yknow, lets, lets let someone else play.
(Rachel spins the bottle and it lands on .wait for it .Joshua. (You thought I was going to say Ross, didnt you?) Rachel squeals in delight and starts a slow sexy crawl over to Joshua, making sure he and everyone else watching gets a good look at her cleavage.)
[Cut to Ross and Emily standing by the foosball table.]
Ross: Okay, we could still make dinner if we skipped the appetisers and asked for our check right away.
[Scene: The hallway, Ross is sitting on the step drinking a beer as Rachel comes out of the guys apartment.]
Ross: Thats okay. Shes still in there enjoying her fake party and uh, its too late to do any of the things I had planned, so
Rachel: Oh, Ross, Im sorry. I completely ruined your evening.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Helps a little.
Ross: Yeah, have a seat.
Ross: Thats okay, I mean it was just two-week thing anyway, I just didnt want it to end this way, yknow?
Ross: What do you mean?
Ross: Yeah, I really do. Yeah, but what am I gonna do, I mean we-we both agreed that it was gonna be a two-week thing, yknow no commitment.
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
Ross: You think?
Ross: Hey, youre right.
Ross: Thanks. (He starts to go inside and stops.) What photo album was it?
Ross: Oh my God! Those werent albino kids, that was computer camp! Rach! (He hurries inside and Chandler is taking out the garbage.)
Ross: Ohh, yeah I already have one.
Phoebe: Uh, only if you have the hiccups too. Yeah, the pictures are for you, the water and the chocolate is for me. I just didnt feel like getting up. Okay, Im gonna show you a picture of Ross. Okay? And youre going to remember all of the bad things about him. All right? Really focus on his flaws.
Ross: What, you didnt get it? The doctor is a monkey.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Phoebe, how could you do this to me?!
Ross: Oh come on, not again.
Ross: I was not!
Ross: Okay, 'you' can't, or (Points to Chandler) you can't? (Chandler grabs his finger) Okay, that's my finger. (Chandler twists it and Ross goes down on one knee) That's, that's my knee. (To Central Perk) Still doing the play. Aaah!
Monica: Right. Umm, listen since were-we-re on that subject, umm, I just wanted to tell you that uh, well, I-I was going through a really hard time in London, what with my brother getting married and that guy thinking I was Rosss mother
Ross: All right.
Ross: Hey, whatd you guys do to get up on there?
Ross: Come on! Come on! Here, okay-okay, you see this? (Points) This tiny thing that looks like a peanut?
Phoebe: (reading) Ross!
Elizabeth: So uh, Monica is Rosss sister.
[Scene: The Hallway between the Apartments, Ross is hiding behind that bump out on Monicas side waiting for Phoebe and Rachel. As they come up the stairs, he jumps out and yells ]
Phoebe: Oh no wait no, this is wrong! Ross isnt here!
Ross: Hey, whats going on?
Ross: Whats up?
Ross: Oh when you beeped me I was on line at the concession stand at the movie theater.
Ross: Where is she?
Ross: Are you sure shes in the cat, or have you been taking your grandmas glycoma medicine again?
Ross: Oh, yeah, last week you had a wonderful, nutty, chocolatey kind of a cakey pie thing. (Rachel gives him a dirty look) Nothing, just, just, I'm fine.
Ross: Well, I was just playing with him, and y'know we were doing the alphabet song, which he used to be really good at, but suddenly hes leaving out e and f. Its like they just ah, I dont know, fell out of his head.
(Rachel just stands there staring at Joey and Charlie in silence. After a while, Ross turns around and sees them.)
Ross: What? What? Was that a joke? 'Cause it's mean.
(Ross exits, a phone rings, and Chandler dives for his phone.)
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Thanks.
Ross: Wow! Happy Monicas night!
Ross: You mean, weyou and me?
Ross: Honey, I love you too.
Paul: I dont like you going out with my daughter Ross.
[Scene: The hospital, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.]
Ross: You okay?
Rachel: Because, I cant! Ross, I told you, no. I cant.
Ross: What?
Joey: Oh, its Rosss bachelor party.
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Mr. Dickens gets to pick 'em.
Ross: A what?
Monica: (out loud, to her parents) Mom! Dad! Ross smoked pot in college!
Ross: My hands?
Ross: No.
Ross: (incredulous) In your mouth?!
Ross: Well, like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived! (Ross takes the loosely tied tie off and hands it to Joey who puts it on.) Here.
Ross: Yeah, no problem. (Tries to turn it off.)
Ross: (To the rest of Central Perk) We're rehearsing a Greek play.
Ross: It is! It is!
Monica: No its not! No! No! Now its about you and Ross getting back together!
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: (picks up a surgical instrament and mimes a duck with it) Quack, quack..
Ross: Oh no!
Ross: Like uh yknow like this! This! (He picks up one of those art projects that kids make in kindergarten and first grade.) She-she couldve made this!
[Cut to Phoebes room, Phoebe has put her helmet on one of her teddy bears and is playing around with it. Ross knocks and pokes his head in the door.]
Ross: All right, we have a tie. Luckily, I have prepared for such an event. (He opens up an envelope and holds up some note cards.) The Lightning Round!
Ross: (sitting up) No! (Exits.)
Ross: Okay, okay. If that is what it takes to show you how much you mean to me, and how much I want you there. Then that's what I'll do.
Ross: Still thinking about it huh?
Ross: Okay. Sure. (Sits down on her bed.)
(Ross slams his head down on the table.)
Ross: Hi! I could help not notice, but that's an unusual necklace
Ross: Okay, okay. Uh, well uh, Rachel is going to need to yell sweet nothings (Paul enters) in his ear.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Rachel is still trying to talk up Ross, not to much success.]
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey, heres a thought.
Ross: Got me. (He shows of his hands.)
Ross: Oww!
Ross: Oh, I see, so everybody wins.
Ross: Oh, hey, hey Rach, do you notice anything..ahh
(Ross looks at Chandler.)
Ross: (at the door) And uh, Rachel.
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Oh, Ill have some!
Phoebe: Hey! Ross!
Ross: Umm, okay, yeah, sure. But wh-whats wrong with Monica and Chandler?
Rachel: (still trapped under Ross) Pheebs, could you maybe hand me a cracker?
Ross: After what I did? Can you blame her?
Ross: Uh, Phoebe
Phoebe: Oh Ross, hi.
Ross: Phoebe!
Ross: Phoebe, what are you doing?
Ross: And they knew about it?
Ross: Phoebe, you said it was urgent!
[Time lapse, dinner is now finished and Ross is looking out the window.]
Ross: Aww, come on.
Ross: Alright, we�ll just, uh, see when you get here. Bye. (hangs up) Huh, that was my mom, she�s stuck in terrible traffic.
Ross: Hello.
Ross: (from his apartment) Man! They cannot get enough! (Makes like he's a robot and waves at the cutouts.)
Ross: Can I, can I help you with something?
Ross: (deadpan) Yes I am.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is on the couch as Ross enters.]
(Chandler and Joey smile, but when Ross turns away look at each other with looks of horror.)
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
Rachel: Whats up, Ross?
Ross: Okay, good stuff. Umm, well shes-shes sweet and pretty and
Ross: I dont know Rachel, why?
Ross: Okay, break-ups still on!
ROSS: Oh, hey, if I make you laugh, here's an idea, why don't you invite Paulo over and have a little romp in the sack and I'll just stand in the corner and tell knock-knock jokes.
Ross: Umm, say youre gonna be starving after all this moving. What do you say I take you to dinner tonight?
Ross: Uh okay, well theres-theres wine in the kitchen.
Ross: His daughter was hot.