words in movies
Ross: Oh yeah, let me just finish this.
Joey: Hey Ross, check this out! (he tries to spin a basketball on his fingertip but he throws it against a table) yeah, I can't do that!
Ross: Have you seen this? It's a new alumni website for college! It's cool! You can post messages for people, let everyone know what you're up to.
Ross: It's actually kinda interesting to find out what people are doing... remember Andrea Rich?
Ross: Uh uh... well, her Internet Company went under and she lost an ear in a boating accident...
Ross: No... I already e-mailed her.
Ross: You know what? I'm gonna finish this later, ok? Let me just grab my coat.
Ross: (he picks up the ball) What do you think you learnt how to do in the last two minutes?? (he enters another room)
Ross: (he comes back) Alright, let's go!
Ross: I think you made it clear you cannot be trusted with the ball inside the house!
Joey: (after Ross leaves the room) aaand SEND! (he hits the send button)
(Ross enters and he's really angry. He goes towards Chandler who's sitting at the counter)
Ross: (yelling at Chandler) I have sex with dinosaurs??
Ross: That only is not funny, it's physically impossible! Ok? Depending on the species I'd have to have a six foot long... (pause) It's not funny!!
Ross: I can't believe you put that on my alumni page!
Ross: You'd better hope not because I just read what you put on your page today.
Ross: Oh oh oh! I RESPECTFULLY DISAGREE!!
Monica: Alright, wait a second, why would Ross tell everyone in your class that you are as... (reads from the screen) "gay as the day is long"?
Chandler: Hang up, hang up. And that was a great movie! (Monica hangs up) I'm so gonna get back at Ross... oh yeah, this will show him, here we go (starts typing something).
[Time lapse, still Chandler and Monica's, but only Chandler is there. Enter Ross]
Ross: (visibly upset) I'm dead?
Ross: Posting that I died? That really isn't funny.
Ross: Oh please, hit by a blimp?
Ross: Unbelievable, my classmates are gonna think I'm dead, my professors, my... my parents are gonna get phone calls. You're messing with people's feelings here.
Ross: You've really crossed the line here, but that's okay, it's ok 'cause I'm on my way to buy some Photoshop software and a stack of gay porn. That's right! Your coming out is about to get real graphic.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment: Ross is doing something on his laptop when Chandler walks in]
Chandler: Hey, Ross, I just wanted to apologize... (looks at laptop screen)..don't tell me you actually made those gay pictures of me?
Ross: uhu uhu, check this out. (Chandler sits down and looks at laptop screen)
Ross: Eh..actually no, I don't need to because your little "Ross is dead" joke didn't work, ok, there were no responses. Nobody posted anything on the website, nobody called my parents, so the joke my friend is on you. Nobody called, nobody wrote anything, nobody cares that I'm dead. (silence) Oh my God! Nobody cares that I'm dead!?
Ross: What are you talking about? You get sixty responses just for coming out of the closet! I didn't get one response! And I'm dead!
Ross: I can't believe this. Not even my geology lab partner? And I carried that guy! (gets up from his sofa)
Ross: You're right. There isn't a decent outlet.
Ross: Exactly!! (sits back down at his laptop and starts typing)
Chandler: Ross, what're you... what're you... what are you doing? (looks at laptop screen)You're having a memorial service for yourself!?
Ross: No! That would be stupid! You're having it for me!
Chandler: Ross, don't press send, don't press se... !
Ross: oh, too late, too late! It's sent... oops sorry and so is the picture of you and the police man...
Monica: Alright you two, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Now I don't want anything going on while I'm gone. Here's a few things you can discuss: mucus, fungus and the idea of me and Ross doing it.
Ross: It's been an hour and not one of my classmates has shown up! I tell you, when I actually die some people are gonna get seriously haunted!
Ross: Ok, ok! I'm gonna go hide! Oh, this is so exciting, my first mourner! (he hides in the bedroom and closes the door)
Tom: Thanks... uh... I'm so sorry about Ross, it's...
Ross: Who is he?
Ross: I don't remember him, but then again I touched so many lives. (they press their ears against the door)
Monica: So, did you know Ross well?
Ross: (coming in) I'm dead and no one cares?
Ross: It isn't ridiculous, look around! No one's here!
Ross: Yes, you're right. Still somebody must have seen it... I mean, I went to that school for 4 years, I didn't have an impact on anyone?
Ross: (sceptical) Yeah...
Chandler: I'm sure it's somebody for you. Now, go hide. (Ross hides in the bedroom again)
Kori: Hi. I'm here for Ross Geller's memorial service.
Kori: I can't believe that Ross is gone. It is just so sad.
Chandler: I didn't know Ross and you were so close.
Ross: (he bounds into the lounge room) But you didn't! I'm still alive!! Kori, I know this is a big surprise for you. It's a long story but the things you just said really made my day! I mean, the fact that you are here means more to me than if this room were filled with people!
Ross: Did you hear that? Kori Weston had a crush on me!!
Ross: (on the phone) No Mum, I'm not dead. I know it's not something to kid about. It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, ok? (pause) Actually no, even if I had died, you would not be left childless. (pause) Monica?
Ross: Mississippilesly? (pause) Well, how bad is it?
Ross: (looks back at the cake) Hey!
Joey: So, did you bring a little something for Ross?
Ross: It's not bad.
Rachel: Well, there is one thing that we havent tried, but someone thinks that, (mimicking Ross) "That will open up a can of worms."
Ross: (recognizing her) Oh my God! Rachel Green?
Phoebe: Hey, are Ross and Rachel back?
Ross: (To Phoebe) Im sorry. Ugh, Pheebs, you were, you were right about her. Yknow, she did try to use sex as a weapon! Yeah, I hurt my back a little.
Joey: (to Ross and Rachel) I've been here the whole time!
(Ross and Rachel enter.)
Ross: What's wrong? Are you okay?
Ross: Okay, you ready?
[Scene: Professor Sherman's office, Ross is relating to Professor Sherman]
[Scene: Ross, Charlie and Professor Spafford are sitting at the table in a restaurant]
Ross: (surprised) Oh... (he pauses) (sounds disappointed) Ohh... I'd love to but I really have to grade these papers.
Ross: Damnit!
Ross: (Writing on the papers) B, B, B, B, B!
Ross: Hey...
Ross: (he opens the door) Hi Amy!
(Ross enters the apartment with Amy)
Ross: Well, it had some good ideas, take off your shirt.
Ross: (gives up) Yes, yes, you did.
Ross: Ehm... Her name is Emma.
Joey: What? No! No Ross! No-no! Stop! Im not jumping! Okay, look I have an audition tomorrow and I cant go if I break my leg.
Ross: (to Joey) Oh my God!
Ross: Why don't you use your Thesaurus?
Ross: What... what you working on?
Ross: Okay, Phoebe, this Dr. Oberman. He has no strong feelings about Fonzie or any of the Happy Days gang.
Ross: Uhh, yes I did but there isn't. Okay, here we go.
Ross: Oh nice tan!
[Scene: Joey’s Apartment. Ross is filming his parents ]
Monica: He was in Rosss class marching band kinda overweight? Well, really overweight. I mean I was his thin friend.
Ross: (in his head) Say something clever! (Pause.) Okay, doesnt have to be clever, it just has to be words. Say some words. (Pause) Any words will do. (Pause) Oh my God! This is the longest that anyone has not talked ever! (Pause) There is nothing you can say to make this worse!! So just say something!! (Pause.) (To her) I-I, I uh havent had sex in a very long time. (She leaves.) (In his head) Yeah, you really shouldnt have said anything.
RACHEL: Ross, Ross, please listen to me. Ross, you are so much better for me than Paolo ever was. I mean you care about me, you're loving, you make me laugh.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is coming out of the living room carrying his salad and a puzzlebeer! Cold beer. And he decides to fold up Phoebes massage table, but being Ross has trouble with it as there is a knock on the door. He sets the table back up and opens the door to reveal a beautiful woman.]
Ross: Do you perhaps seeing a note on top of it?
Ross: (embarassed) Me neither.
Ross: Look, this is hard enough! I really need you guys right now.
Ross: Seriously?
Joey: Fine, I'll rent a car and drive...! Ross, you have to get that job!
Ross: Well, do you wanna marry him?
Ross: No, I barely even got to three Mississippi.
Ross: Um, I do not want her baby-sitting our child.
Ross: I don't think that's what this is.
Ross: I... I don't know..
Ross: I loved this place! To tell you the truth, I wish I didn't have to move.
(Ross enters)
Ross: (sees how strangely Monica, Chandler and Rachel are looking at him) What?
Ross: Hey guys. Monica and Chandler: Hi Ross.
Joey: But Ross, Ross. What do you, what do you think she's going to say?
[Monica and Chandler both are shocked. Ross gives Monica a take that! look.]
[Scene: Outside the Nursery, Ross is looking at Emma as Phoebe walks up.]
Ross: Why not?
Ross: Do you remember the scene with, um, Jabba the Hut? Well Jabba had as, as his prisoner, um, Princess Leia.
Ross: (in his head) Shes your cousin. Shes your cousin! If she knew what was going on in your head shed think you were sick! (She grabs some popcorn.) Or would she? Lets back up a second. She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine. She was the one who turned down the lights. She was the one that wanted to rent Logans Run, the sexiest movie ever. (She grabs the blanket from behind him and looks at him.) Oh, I know that look. Forget it. I want it. She wants it. Im going in.
Ross: That's not a thing!
Ross: Listen, you are hearing one side of the story, okayand F.Y.I she mustve shown Kyle over 30 paint samples before she painted that room! And his response to each one was, "I dont give a tiny rats ass."
Ross: Hey Mon, that was really nice of you to loan Rachel your car so she could go and get the cake.
(Amy looks at Ross, angrily. Rachel clearly doesn't understand what he meant and looks at Ross who gestures "later".)
Ross: I can't believe you'd rather go out with him than me.
Ross: Pheebs, what's wrong?
Ross: Hey! (she turns to him) Well...? (in expectation)
Ross: Of course you would, your brains are smaller than mine!! (Rachel nods) Man, I can't compete with the guys she goes out with, they are so out of my league! oh my God!
Ross: I have to talk to her about this groomsman situation, ok? I'm not gonna watch Chandler up there while I'm sitting in the seats like some chump! (he goes to Rachel's room, knocks the door and enters the room). (very fake gasp) Oh! My God! You're breathtaking!
Ross: (to Charlie) Hey!
Ross: Yeah. Why?
Ross: Your ex-boyfriend?
Ross: Well, if you think it would help.
Ross: Ok, now, is there anything I can do to... you know, butter him up? Anything he really likes?
Ross: We'll see how dinner goes.
Ross: (taping Joey with the cam) Hey, there is uncle Joey!
Ross: How come its always us left in the field holding the ball?
[Sequence 4: Ross hikes the ball to Chandler, and the camera pans down to show Rachel standing deep in the end zone, playing with her gum. Something hits her on the head and she looks up to see where it came from.]
RACH: Oh my God. Oh my God Ross, no, hang up the phone, give me the phone Ross, give me the phone, give me the phone, give me the. . . [jumps the couch and lands on Ross's back, finally getting the phone from him. Ross has a confused expression on his face.]
(They disappear into the bedroom leaving Ross standing in the living room holding Susans coat.)
Ross: I'm ok.
Ross: Perhaps I can persuade you. What if you can give your son this (Takes a huge egg out of his back) genuine pterodactyl egg (whispers) replica.
Benjamin (to Ross): You weren't there!
Ross: What?
Ross: Did you just say "break up with Charlie"?
Ross: No!
Ross: Are you serious?
Ross: (Rolls his eyes) I guess!
Ross: See? I told you something good would come along. And he seemed really nice. I've met him before?
Ross: Oh come on!!
Ross: No, but I want...I want the pinecones!
Ross: (Sarcastic) No! Stop!
Ross: (Skeptical) Really?
Ross: Crazy!
(Ross shakes his head)
Ross: (Yelling) Get out! (Benjamin leaves)
Ross: I have to break up with Charlie?
Mark: Sure, sure. (To Ross) What's with the chair. (Rachel signals him not to mention she's been fired)
Ross: Monica told me you had a blind date.
Ross: Damnit!
Joey: Come on, Chandler, Ross is our friend. He needs us right now, so why don't you be a grown up and come and watch some TV in the fort!
Ross: (annoyed) May 12th?
Charlie: I'm sure he was just joking, Ross.
Ross: What?
Ross: or...