words in movies
Ross: Oh yeah, let me just finish this.
Joey: Hey Ross, check this out! (he tries to spin a basketball on his fingertip but he throws it against a table) yeah, I can't do that!
Ross: Have you seen this? It's a new alumni website for college! It's cool! You can post messages for people, let everyone know what you're up to.
Ross: It's actually kinda interesting to find out what people are doing... remember Andrea Rich?
Ross: Uh uh... well, her Internet Company went under and she lost an ear in a boating accident...
Ross: No... I already e-mailed her.
Ross: You know what? I'm gonna finish this later, ok? Let me just grab my coat.
Ross: (he picks up the ball) What do you think you learnt how to do in the last two minutes?? (he enters another room)
Ross: (he comes back) Alright, let's go!
Ross: I think you made it clear you cannot be trusted with the ball inside the house!
Joey: (after Ross leaves the room) aaand SEND! (he hits the send button)
(Ross enters and he's really angry. He goes towards Chandler who's sitting at the counter)
Ross: (yelling at Chandler) I have sex with dinosaurs??
Ross: That only is not funny, it's physically impossible! Ok? Depending on the species I'd have to have a six foot long... (pause) It's not funny!!
Ross: I can't believe you put that on my alumni page!
Ross: You'd better hope not because I just read what you put on your page today.
Ross: Oh oh oh! I RESPECTFULLY DISAGREE!!
Monica: Alright, wait a second, why would Ross tell everyone in your class that you are as... (reads from the screen) "gay as the day is long"?
Chandler: Hang up, hang up. And that was a great movie! (Monica hangs up) I'm so gonna get back at Ross... oh yeah, this will show him, here we go (starts typing something).
[Time lapse, still Chandler and Monica's, but only Chandler is there. Enter Ross]
Ross: (visibly upset) I'm dead?
Ross: Posting that I died? That really isn't funny.
Ross: Oh please, hit by a blimp?
Ross: Unbelievable, my classmates are gonna think I'm dead, my professors, my... my parents are gonna get phone calls. You're messing with people's feelings here.
Ross: You've really crossed the line here, but that's okay, it's ok 'cause I'm on my way to buy some Photoshop software and a stack of gay porn. That's right! Your coming out is about to get real graphic.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment: Ross is doing something on his laptop when Chandler walks in]
Chandler: Hey, Ross, I just wanted to apologize... (looks at laptop screen)..don't tell me you actually made those gay pictures of me?
Ross: uhu uhu, check this out. (Chandler sits down and looks at laptop screen)
Ross: Eh..actually no, I don't need to because your little "Ross is dead" joke didn't work, ok, there were no responses. Nobody posted anything on the website, nobody called my parents, so the joke my friend is on you. Nobody called, nobody wrote anything, nobody cares that I'm dead. (silence) Oh my God! Nobody cares that I'm dead!?
Ross: What are you talking about? You get sixty responses just for coming out of the closet! I didn't get one response! And I'm dead!
Ross: I can't believe this. Not even my geology lab partner? And I carried that guy! (gets up from his sofa)
Ross: You're right. There isn't a decent outlet.
Ross: Exactly!! (sits back down at his laptop and starts typing)
Chandler: Ross, what're you... what're you... what are you doing? (looks at laptop screen)You're having a memorial service for yourself!?
Ross: No! That would be stupid! You're having it for me!
Chandler: Ross, don't press send, don't press se... !
Ross: oh, too late, too late! It's sent... oops sorry and so is the picture of you and the police man...
Monica: Alright you two, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Now I don't want anything going on while I'm gone. Here's a few things you can discuss: mucus, fungus and the idea of me and Ross doing it.
Ross: It's been an hour and not one of my classmates has shown up! I tell you, when I actually die some people are gonna get seriously haunted!
Ross: Ok, ok! I'm gonna go hide! Oh, this is so exciting, my first mourner! (he hides in the bedroom and closes the door)
Tom: Thanks... uh... I'm so sorry about Ross, it's...
Ross: Who is he?
Ross: I don't remember him, but then again I touched so many lives. (they press their ears against the door)
Monica: So, did you know Ross well?
Ross: (coming in) I'm dead and no one cares?
Ross: It isn't ridiculous, look around! No one's here!
Ross: Yes, you're right. Still somebody must have seen it... I mean, I went to that school for 4 years, I didn't have an impact on anyone?
Ross: (sceptical) Yeah...
Chandler: I'm sure it's somebody for you. Now, go hide. (Ross hides in the bedroom again)
Kori: Hi. I'm here for Ross Geller's memorial service.
Kori: I can't believe that Ross is gone. It is just so sad.
Chandler: I didn't know Ross and you were so close.
Ross: (he bounds into the lounge room) But you didn't! I'm still alive!! Kori, I know this is a big surprise for you. It's a long story but the things you just said really made my day! I mean, the fact that you are here means more to me than if this room were filled with people!
Ross: Did you hear that? Kori Weston had a crush on me!!
Ross: (on the phone) No Mum, I'm not dead. I know it's not something to kid about. It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, ok? (pause) Actually no, even if I had died, you would not be left childless. (pause) Monica?
Ross: Thats right! Thats right, dont you play a woman?
Ross: How hot do I look in this, huh?!
Ross: Well remember that paper I had published last year on sediment flow rate, huh? They loved it.
Ross: Joey, Homo Sapiens are people.
Ross: Professor Neuman, the head of the department, so .
Ross: Much better.
Rachel: Uh-huh. I know. It was just, it was just the perfect way to say goodbye. (She hugs him, and Ross looks crushed.)
Joey: So yknow Ross its funny cause, you look familiar to me too. Have you ever been married?
Rachel: Ill be right there! (to Ross) Okay, Ross, please come on! I thought we have moved on! I thought weve gotten to a place where we could be happy for each other! I mean was that just me?
Ross: Well yes, yes I have. In fact umm, just the other day Kristen and I were talking about how Ive been married and how I have a son.
Rachel: Ross! Phoebes gonna be here any second, she cannot see this!
Ross: (giddy) I dont know, but-but look how shiny!
Ross: Well I have to. Okay? If I dont, theyll take the class away from me. And I already put it in my family newsletter.
Ross: No-no-no! Its mine! Its-its mine. (The woman walks away.)
Ross: She wants me to take responsibility for everything that went wrong in our relationship. I mean she goes on for five pages about, about how I was unfaithful to her! (Both Joey and Chandler shrug their shoulders as to say Well...) (yelling) WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!
Ross: Thats right! Wait no, Ben.
Ross: Oh great! Hey-hey Joey, do you want to check out pictures of me and Mona ice skating?
Ross: What? (Glances over and sees the faces of the rest of the group, then goes and sits down.)
Ross: No! Pick me! I dont want to end up an old maid!
Ross: Well umm
Phoebe: Well look-look, okay Ross, Kyle just told me some really bad stuff about her.
Ross: I really wish that you wouldnt.
Ross: Come on!
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang is there, minus Ross. Chandler is trying to cheer Joey up about missing Phase Two.]
[Another set of flashbacks begin with Episode 521: The One With The Ball, Joey and Ross are throwing a ball around.]
Ross: Yes. And another time after that. Boy Im getting hungry! Hey Joey, have you ever been so hungry on a date that when a girl goes to the bathroom you eat some of her food?
Ross and Rachel: Ooohhhh!!
(Ross pans the camera over to Phoebe.)
Ross: All right. I think it was a mouse.
Rachel: Oh wow. Thatyknow what? That is so unfair. Yknow what? Now I want to steal your thunder! Come on Ross, lets go have sex!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]
Rachel: Ross, I really dont think
Ross: I just wanted to tell you something before you heard it from someone else and I hope this isn't too weird, but uh, I had uh, a thing with Janice. (He laughs, his real laugh this time.) What you're-you're not mad?
PHOEBE: I think on my shoulder. [Ross enters]
Ross: God, do you realize in ten years were gonna be 40?
(Joey turns and looks at quite possibly one of the ugliest pets that you can possibly buy on the planet. Rachel has bought herself a hairless cat. Yep, a hairless cat! Joey and Ross start to get sick.)
Ross: (starting it) Woohoo!
Ross: Yes! My babys finally free!
Joey: (laughs that one off) Yeah. So uh Ross, well nowwhy did that first marriage breakup? Was it because the woman was straight or she was a lesbian?
Joey: (crying) Why God?! Why are you doing this to us?! (He buries his head in Rosss shoulder.)
Ross: You wanna buy a car?
Emily: (on phone from London) Hello, Ross?
Joey: Oh, like you've never gotten a little rambunctious with Ross.
Phoebe: I cant follow Ross! Itd be like those bicycle ridding chimps that followed The Beetles. No.
Ross: Whats the matter? You okay?
Chandler: (To Ross) Monica said wedding.
Ross: Okay. Yeah, I guess, I guess I could do that too.
Monica: Okay, so Ross will be doing the reading.
Ross: What? A brain transplant?!
Ross: Its ridiculous!
Ross: But-but, if you dont love this, well do it in any other place at any other time. Really, its fine, whatever you want.
(Rachel, Ross, and Monica exit)
Ross: Okay, I (Walks away.)
Ross: No! And Im not gonna be, so you can save you little speech.
Joey and Ross: No. No.
Chandler: Why is your family Ross?!
[Scene: The Banquet Room, Ross is taking a picture of a plant, Chandler a fork. The band stops.]
ROSS: I'll take it. My gift to you man.
Ross: Ok, Mom never hit.
Ross: Well, as much as Id like to meet Josh and warn him, Emily and I arent going to be here. All right? I mean, shes going to come by first to say good-bye, and then Ive got a whole special evening planned. So Im sorry, no party.
Rachel: What handsome is not your type? Smart? Kind? Good kisser? What those things arent on your list? Ross is a great guy! You would be lucky to be with him!
Ross: I cant believe they-they didnt even tell us!
Paul: Ill call you later. Bye Ross. (Leaves)
Ross: Hey you leave Marcel out of this!
Ross: Yes! Thats where we realized we were both super cool people!
Ross: What?!
Ross: How did you know about that?!
Ross: Why not?
Ross: Were you the ones called the cops?!
Ross: Come on, there are plenty of other women out thereok? Just - just forget about her, ok? Just, she's off limits.
Ross: A lesson in the importance of unagi. (He starts doing the finger thing every time now.)
Ross: Yknow what (Moves away as Chandler enters, panicked.)
Ross: (to Joey) So he's calling from Rome. I could do that. Just gotta go to Rome.
The Woman From Poughkeepsie: (outside Rosss window) Ross? Ross! (she knocks on the window) Wake up! Ross! (the train starts moving) Ross! Ross!! Ross!!! Ross!!!!
Phoebe: Yeah! Or too, you could be two stockbrokers and youre-youre-youre rolling around naked on the trading floor and everybodys watching! (Ross looks at her.) It never happened.
Rachel: (opens her present from Ross; it's a dark-red scarf) Oohh, I love it!
Ross: Hey, you know what I just realized? If you guys ever have kids
Ross: One, two, three, four!
Ross: So?
Ross: You know the song! Sing along!
Ross: You know the song! Sing along!
(Ross throws the bagpipes down in disgust.)
Ross: Well, if hes angry, he really shouldnt just cover it up. I-I wish he would just tell me the truth.
Ross: Hi.
Ross: (to Ben) Okay! All clear!
(Ben starts to go, but Ross stops him.)
Ross: Hi, we have a little bathroom emergency.
Ross: Well, Ben would be there.
Ross: Whats the matter?
Ross: (to Ben) Everything okay in there?
Ross: Oh, she isnt home.
Ross: Joey had an imaginary childhood friend. His name was?
(He goes to sit down next to Ross.)
Phoebe: Ross, you cant tell her not to go. You just started dating.
Ross: Yknow we should probably ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby thats half human and half pure evil!
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
Chandler: Well, she walked in when I was looking at the ring brochures. You can understand that, right? (Ross and Joey look at each other and go back to watching the game on TV.) Guys? Guys? (Walks in front of them again.)
Ross: Yes! Ben learned a little trick.
Ross: Wait, did you get to the part about his 'huge throbbing pens'? Tell ya, you don't wanna be around when he starts writing with those!
Ross: (slowly stands up and says quietly) Excuse me. (Exits.)