words in movies
Carol: (entering with Ben and Ross) Hey guys!
Ross: Hi!
Ross: (sets Ben down) Well, it's not for sure but umm, we met this guy in the park who thought Ben was really cute--y'know, which he is--so umm anyhoo, he uh, he gave us his card and told us to bring him down for this commercial he's auditioning.
Joey: (reading the card) Whoa! This guy is like the biggest commercial casting director in town! (Ross gasps) Ben takes one lousy walk in the park and gets an audition!! (Ross and Carol stare at him, then Joey realizes what he just said.) I mean, way to go Ben! (Gives Ben the thumbs up, which Ben returns.) Man! I've been in that park a million times and no one offered me an audition.
Ross: I know, it's crazy! We were just pushing Ben on the swings
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is eating breakfast, Ross is heading for the bathroom.]
Joey: Ross!! We're having a surprise party for Rachel!!
Ross: (from the bathroom) Okay!!
Ross: All right, I gotta take off. I'm picking up Ben then we're off to the big audition.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Yeah the dad and Ben eat soup and pretend to enjoy it.
Ross: You're not his godfather.
Ross: (Pause) Of course I am! (Joey is relieved) Okay, let's go godfather.
[Scene: Ben's audition, Carol, Ross, and Ben along with about 10 more families are in a waiting room as Joey enters happily.]
Ross: Really? That's great!
Ross: Yeah well, he's not gonna get this one. Ben is way cuter than that kid. I mean look at him, look at you, (Starts to whine like a baby and Joey just glares at him.)
Ross: Joey, you look nothing like Ben.
Ross: (entering, downtrodden) Hi.
Ross: Not so good.
Ross: (Pause) Yeah I am! Yeah, Ben got a second audition!
Joey: (also downtrodden) Yeah, I had to teach Ross my bit because I actually didn't get a callback.
Ross: Oh God, this is so nerve wracking! How-how do you do this?
Ross: Yes!! I knew it!! (To the people who didn't make it.) Bye-bye! So long! Later!
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Yeah, it is.
Ross: No, we-we're gonna be like best friends, that's why it's gonna be weird.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are talking.]
Ross and Chandler: Hi!
Ross: Seriously that's a lot of cups.
Ross: Hey!
Joey: Ross good, I'm uh glad you're here. I wanna talk to you about something.
Ross: What's up?
Ross: Wow, uh, Joey that's-that's great. Thanks man.
Ross: Well, you just
Joey: I just said that so you wouldn't let Ben do it! Look Ross, if anyone should step aside it should be Ben!
Ross: What?!
Ross: Why should Ben step aside? It was his audition in the first place! You-you just tagged along! You're like the uh, tag-a-long dad.
Ross: What?!
Ross: And why wouldn't he get it?
Ross: Are you saying your kid eats soup better than my kid?
Ross: Oh yeah? I guess we'll just see!
Ross: You're kid's name is Raymond!
Carol: Joey, Ross is gonna be here any second, would you mind watching Ben for me while I use the ladies' room?
Ross: (entering, angrily) Joey!
Joey: (angrily) Ross!
Ross: (angrily) Ben! (Pause.) (Happily.) I mean, Ben! Ben!
[Cut to another part of the room, Ross is going to talk to Joey.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Listen man, uh, I'm sorry the audition didn't go so well.
Ross: No really, I-I am! I feel bad!
Joey: Yeah? Well look Ross, you don't have to. Okay? It's not your fault I suck. I mean what kind of an actor can't even say, "Hmm, noodle soup." (Nods his head in disgust.)
Ross: Yeah y'know what? Maybe-maybe you didn't mess up your audition because you suck, maybe you messed up because you care more about uh, your godson.
Ross: I think, sub-consciously
Ross: (pause) I think on some level, you-you sabotaged your own audition so that Ben would get the part.
Ross: No!
Ross: There you go. Thank you!
Ross: No.
Joey: I mean, she should be with someone like... Ross! You know what I mean, he uses all those big words too! Man, smart people are dull!
Ross: What?! That's not gonna make you any money!
Ross: Yeah I just hurt it.
Rachel: Oh wow! What now Ross youre not gonna talk? How on earth will you ever annoy me? Oh wait a minute, I know. (Mimics his breathing.) I mean youd think the damn jalepeno wouldve cleared up your sinuses, but no!! Thats not enough (Ross jumps over and kisses her.) What are you doing?!
Ross: You know sometimes your words... they hurt.
Ross: Hey hey, can I help?
[Ross and Rachel look at each other and then at Phoebe, realizing the song is about their situation.]
Ross: Oh, you guys call him Cute Coffeehouse Guy, we call him Hums While He Pees.
Rachel: I thought this might happen today. Ross, I know the holidays can be rough. Yknow? And its probably really hard for you to be alone right now.
Ross: Oh yeah, let me just finish this.
Ross: (he comes back) Alright, let's go!
Ross: Chandler, you don't have a sister so you can't understand how much this bums me out.
Rachel: (on answering machine) Hi, its me. Ive been trying to reach you all night. I feel awful. Please, Ross, you gotta know there is nothing between me and Mark. This whole break-up thing is just stupid.
Joey: It wasnt my ring! It fell out of Rosss jacket! And when I knelt down to pick it up Rachel thought I was proposing!
Ross: Oh wait-wait-wait! The message is blinking. Maybe you didn't erase it.
Ross: (yelling at Chandler) I have sex with dinosaurs??
<Ross ponders that and walks away>
Ross: Yeah well, if I know Mark, and I think I do, Id expect nothing less.
Nurse: (To Ross) Rossy, we're ready for you.
Monica: (starting to cry) Im sorry I almost made you sleep with Ross. (They hug.)
Ross: Actually, it looks really good. (Turns towards the window and now Phoebe starts jumping to divert his attention.)
Chandler: Ross, don't press send, don't press se... !
Ross: (visibly upset) I'm dead?
Ross: No, I mean tonight, in the building. Suddenly. Into our lives.
Joey: (after Ross leaves the room) aaand SEND! (he hits the send button)
Ross: All right, all right, it's just that you left a red sock in with all your whites, and now, everything's kinda pink.
Ross: Okay, I have a problem I have to go into work for a few hours, some kids messed up the Homo Sapien display.
Tom: Thanks... uh... I'm so sorry about Ross, it's...
Ross: Who is he?
Monica: So, did you know Ross well?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are watching rugby on TV as Phoebe enters.]
Ross: You can't go, I mean you're the glue that holds this group together!
Joey: The skys blue Ross and I had sex yesterday!
Ross: I dont think so! Youre just giving me Ruth so youll get to name it when its a boy, and thats when youll swoop in and name him Heath or Blaine or Sequoia.
Ross: Did you hear that? Kori Weston had a crush on me!!
ROSS: (whining) But you left.
Ross: No! Do you know what your odds are of winning the lottery? I...I mean you have a better chance of being struck by lightning 42 times.
Ross: No thanks!
Ross: The woman just vanished!
[Scene: N.Y.U, Rosss new class, this time hes actually about to do a lecture.]
Joey: Seriously, Ross, you don't want in on this?
Ross: Oh oh, we think Emma is about to start talking so we're trying to be careful about what words we use in front of her.
Ross: Oh, it's not so bad. Monica's gonna make potpourri! I think I'm gonna go wander out in the rain for a while.
Ross: (yelling to Monica)They're towing your car, they're towing your car!!
(Suddenly Ross comes running into the apartment)
[Scene: The fire escape, Joey is now hanging off of the bottom rung of the ladder that wont move and Ross is watching from above.]
Ross: (to Monica)Think he washed his hands?
Ross: Well, I dont think we are gonna have that problem, but maybe thats just because I am not emotionally unavailable!
Ross: Uh, you're not gonna win.
Ross: Why would I eat my own arm?
Ross: Why?
Ross: You don't have to do that, I'll pay for myself. But just the fact that you want me to have fun with you guys - that's so sweet! Come here (they kiss and hug)
Monica: You know what, Ross? I'm gonna throw in 50 bucks for you.
Ross: (To Chandler) Dude, that reverse lay-up! Oh
[Scene: Ross and Rachel�s. Ross phones, Rachel and Emma are there.]
Ross: I ... I was just talking about Rachel.
Chandler: (looks around) I'll take this one too (to Ross) Uh ... Mommy?
Ross: Hey hey, we'll be fine. We're just gonna need a little time.
Ross: Waitohheyhuh, oh great now he knows, and I don't know!
Ross: Okay, I-Ill see you tonight.
MONICA: Rach, get the heat. [Rachel holds up her hand with wet fingernail polish] Ross, could you turn the heat down please?
Joey: (to Ross) I'll show you how.
Ross: Gandolf the wizard. (Joey is still confused) Hello! Didnt you read Lord of the Rings in high school?
Ross: 3 minutes ago!!! I don't know why that's important ...
Ross: I can't believe this, I thought we were all in this together!
Ross: Im not gonna hit you.
Ross: Oh my God, you guys!! (Hes excited about what he thought happened.)
Ross: (trying to stop her) Hey, hey!!
Ross: It went great! And I didnt need any jokes or naked chicks either!
Ross: Wow! How'd you get in there?
[Scene: Rachels bedroom. Ross and Rachel have just finished consummating the new relationship.]
Ross: Monica!
Ross: Go, go, go!!
Ross: Oh yeah, it's a good idea!
Ross: Oh, we have one too!!
Ross: (calling Rachel) Come on!!
Ross: Oh yeah, no no no...that's great!
Rachel: (to Ross) Isn't that amazing?
Ross: It's not a word!
Ross: Yes you did, gleba is a word!
Ross: So is everybody here? I got here a little early myself. Let us begin. Now, the hydrosaurids have been unearthed in two main locations. (He moves to the map and we see why he made it to class on time, hes wearing in-line skates and hasnt taken them off.) Here. (Points to the map, somewhere in the Middle East, then spins on the skates and points to the map.) Here. (China.) Now as for the hydrosaurs
Monica and Ross: Seven.
(they all look at Ross)
ROSS: Oh, now you can exchange them if you want, ok.
Ross: Nono, me neither. Although, uh, y'know, back in college, Susan Sallidor did.
Ross: Hi!
Ross: I'd love to!
Monica: Ohh, Im sorry I couldnt think of anymore for Ross!
ROSS: You know, I, I used to, ah, play keyboards in college.
Ross: Phoebe, what happened?
Monica: Why don't you take Ross?
Chandler: Ross had a ring?! And he was gonna propose?
Ross: Ok, Michelle, it�s time to go.
Ross: Well, this is what happens when people live on the edge!
Ross: Look, it was accident! Okay? I-I feel bad that it happened, but I swear, I didnt even watch it! Anyway, here. (He takes the tape out of his coat pocket.) I thought you might be more comfortable destroying it yourself. (Tosses her the tape.)
Ross: Huh, whats fish hooking... (Joey sticks his finger in Rosss mouth and pulls on his cheek, y'know like when you hook a fish.) (to Joey, sarcastic) Thanks man, that would have been really hard to describe. What is that taste?
Ross: Not there.
Ross: (mumbling) She doesn't know what to say!
Ross: Well, you shouldve seen the guy that she used to go out with. I mean, hes like Joe Rugby.
Ross: I think it's the sugar, could you hold the apple?