words in movies
Carol: (entering with Ben and Ross) Hey guys!
Ross: Hi!
Ross: (sets Ben down) Well, it's not for sure but umm, we met this guy in the park who thought Ben was really cute--y'know, which he is--so umm anyhoo, he uh, he gave us his card and told us to bring him down for this commercial he's auditioning.
Joey: (reading the card) Whoa! This guy is like the biggest commercial casting director in town! (Ross gasps) Ben takes one lousy walk in the park and gets an audition!! (Ross and Carol stare at him, then Joey realizes what he just said.) I mean, way to go Ben! (Gives Ben the thumbs up, which Ben returns.) Man! I've been in that park a million times and no one offered me an audition.
Ross: I know, it's crazy! We were just pushing Ben on the swings
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is eating breakfast, Ross is heading for the bathroom.]
Joey: Ross!! We're having a surprise party for Rachel!!
Ross: (from the bathroom) Okay!!
Ross: All right, I gotta take off. I'm picking up Ben then we're off to the big audition.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Yeah the dad and Ben eat soup and pretend to enjoy it.
Ross: You're not his godfather.
Ross: (Pause) Of course I am! (Joey is relieved) Okay, let's go godfather.
[Scene: Ben's audition, Carol, Ross, and Ben along with about 10 more families are in a waiting room as Joey enters happily.]
Ross: Really? That's great!
Ross: Yeah well, he's not gonna get this one. Ben is way cuter than that kid. I mean look at him, look at you, (Starts to whine like a baby and Joey just glares at him.)
Ross: Joey, you look nothing like Ben.
Ross: (entering, downtrodden) Hi.
Ross: Not so good.
Ross: (Pause) Yeah I am! Yeah, Ben got a second audition!
Joey: (also downtrodden) Yeah, I had to teach Ross my bit because I actually didn't get a callback.
Ross: Oh God, this is so nerve wracking! How-how do you do this?
Ross: Yes!! I knew it!! (To the people who didn't make it.) Bye-bye! So long! Later!
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Yeah, it is.
Ross: No, we-we're gonna be like best friends, that's why it's gonna be weird.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are talking.]
Ross and Chandler: Hi!
Ross: Seriously that's a lot of cups.
Ross: Hey!
Joey: Ross good, I'm uh glad you're here. I wanna talk to you about something.
Ross: What's up?
Ross: Wow, uh, Joey that's-that's great. Thanks man.
Ross: Well, you just
Joey: I just said that so you wouldn't let Ben do it! Look Ross, if anyone should step aside it should be Ben!
Ross: What?!
Ross: Why should Ben step aside? It was his audition in the first place! You-you just tagged along! You're like the uh, tag-a-long dad.
Ross: What?!
Ross: And why wouldn't he get it?
Ross: Are you saying your kid eats soup better than my kid?
Ross: Oh yeah? I guess we'll just see!
Ross: You're kid's name is Raymond!
Carol: Joey, Ross is gonna be here any second, would you mind watching Ben for me while I use the ladies' room?
Ross: (entering, angrily) Joey!
Joey: (angrily) Ross!
Ross: (angrily) Ben! (Pause.) (Happily.) I mean, Ben! Ben!
[Cut to another part of the room, Ross is going to talk to Joey.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Listen man, uh, I'm sorry the audition didn't go so well.
Ross: No really, I-I am! I feel bad!
Joey: Yeah? Well look Ross, you don't have to. Okay? It's not your fault I suck. I mean what kind of an actor can't even say, "Hmm, noodle soup." (Nods his head in disgust.)
Ross: Yeah y'know what? Maybe-maybe you didn't mess up your audition because you suck, maybe you messed up because you care more about uh, your godson.
Ross: I think, sub-consciously
Ross: (pause) I think on some level, you-you sabotaged your own audition so that Ben would get the part.
Ross: No!
Ross: There you go. Thank you!
Ross: No.
Ross: Correct, his profession was?
Chandler and Ross: Woooo!!!
ROSS: Joey, what did you think a nubbin was?
Ross: Dude, we are sooo gonna party!
Ross: No, it's not a divorce, it is not a divorce! Anyway, I think Rachel and I need to, you know, get on with our lives, maybe, maybe start seeing other people.
Phoebe: Uh-huh! Ross invited us all to watch.
Ross: What happened?
Chandler and Ross: Whoa-whoa-whoa!
Ross: I mean look, that-that one night we had was fun and and certainly passionate, but dont you think its better if we just stayed friends?
Ross: OK, fine, well I'm not gonna watch, alright.
Ross: Joey, had an imaginary childhood friend. His name was?
Ross: So, do you get colours or just French tips?
[Scene: Central Perk close to closing. Ross and Julie are still there. Rachel is cleaning tables.]
Ross: If like the four of us could all yknow, hang out together. Uh, in fact Emilys coming into town this weekend, why dont you say we all have dinner? Say, Sunday night?
ROSS: Good, good, good. So, is uh, was your moustache, did, used to be different?
Ross: It's morphin time!
RACH: Oh, well, that's, that's mighty big of you, Ross. [to the others] I said don't go!
Ross: If only he were a woman.
Ross: This is perfect! She'll have to come back here with your pizza, and when she does, I'll turn on the Charm-O-Ross. Oh I'm so glad you don't eat meat.
Ross: Sorry! Sorry! Oh, (He sticks it under his shirt) there! (It's just there flashing through his shirt) Hey Gary, who am I? Phone home!
Ross: I cant believe he didnt come!
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Yeah!!
Ross: Theres other stuff too.
Ross: Its not like we dont know how to party!!
Joey and Ross: Yeah!!!
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Dad, before I was born, did you freak out at all?
Ross: Okay, (to Chandler) this play, I want you to do a down and out to the right. Okay. Break!
Ross: Okay.
Chandler and Ross: Yeah.
Chandler and Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Yeah, me too.
Ross: Oh, guys, this is fun, isn't it? You know? Just the four of us. Just hangin'.
Joey and Ross: Yeah!
Chandler and Ross: Yeah!
Ross: How sad are we?
[Scene: Central Perk, its the same scene from the end of last weeks show. Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch as Ross enters.]
(Ross stops the clock, signifying the end of the lightning round.)
Ross: Oh, yeah, well y'know Chandler printed it up on his computer.
Ross: Monica and I have a grandmother who died, you both went to her funeral, name that grandmother!
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Look Im sorry Pheebs, I cant do it.
ROSS: Well, I am going to, uh... get a beverage. It was nice, nice... uh... meeting you.
Rachel: (interrupting him) No-no-no-no-no Ross! Please, come on we do not have any of the big stuff we need! We do not a changing table! We do not have a crib! We do not have a diaper service!
[cut to later, in Rosss huddle.]
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross and Susan are trying to get out.]
ROSS: You know what? You know what? If, things were the other way around, there's nothing you could put on a list that would ever make me not want to be with you.
Carol: (looking through the peephole) Ugh. (opening the door) Ross!
Rachel: Oh, please, Ross it was so obvious! It was like you were marking your territory. I mean you might have well have just come in and peed all around my desk!
Julie: Well, Ross and I were in grad school together.
RACHEL: Oh that's so cute:� Ross and Mike's first date.� Is that going to be awkward?� I mean, what are you guys going to talk about?
[Scene: Museum of Natural History. Ross enters the display where Rachel is waiting.]
[Ross runs to Rachel's bedroom, knocking on the door.]
Ross: Pheebs you uh you do know how to ride a bike dont you?
Ross: Oh! Well then this is awkward. So what do you uh
Joey: Its between us and the sea, Ross!
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Pheebs, come on, you didnt kill anybody, these people just happened to die when you went to the dentist. Its, its, its just ah, a coincidence.
Ross: Im sweeping...
Ross: Hey! Howd the ah, basketball go?
Ross: (to Emily) Hey, could you do me a favour? Could you just grab me a bottle of water?
(For the first time we see that the woman Ross is talking too is in fact the hot girl that Joey is looking for. She just kinda stares at him.)
Ross: Nothing, its just that hypnosis is beyond crap.
Ross: I wasnt sleeping.
Ross: There is no way I am letting you drive this car! So why dont you just hand over the keys?
Ross: Why? Why? I know it's a little weird, but hey, he's a great doctor, okay? He knows my medical history, and every time I go in there, he makes a big deal. 'Ah look, it's my favorite patient!'
Ross: Yknow, youre right. Thank you.
Rachel: No. Ross, it, it just seems that y'know its time we-we y'know, move on. I mean, I mean dont you think?
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is closing. Ross walks in in a uniform.]
Ross: All right, Ill see you tonight.
Ross: Catch any big fish? (Phoebe, Ross, and Monica all go over to him.)
ROSS: (on phone) Yeah, yeah, everybody's here. Hey, everybody, say hi to Julie in New Mexico.
Ross: What?
Ross: Oh, now, don't listen to him, Pheebs, I think it's endearing.
Ross: Listen, listen. Whoever you pick is gonna walk down the aisle with you! Now, I promise I won't say a word, but if you pick Chandler he's gonna be whispering stupid jokes in your ear the whole time!
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on! This is not, this is not a marriage!! This is the worlds worst hangover! Ross, listen, if you do not get this annulment, I will!
Ross: What?
Ross: (to himself) Good for a scrud.
Ross: My God!
Joey: All right, okay, now, we just have to make sure she doesnt find out some other way. (spins the chair around so that Ross is facing him) Did you think about the trail?
Ross: Im-Im not kidding. Look I-I, I cant have three failed marriages. I cant. Okay? I-I am not gonna be that guy!
Ross: (moved by the kiss) Huh...
ROSS: Look, that has nothing to do with this, ok? She's my ex-wife. If she were marrying a guy, none of you'd expect me to be there.
Ross: (getting up) Tell me about it. (He sits up on the edge of the bed and has "Just Married" written on his back.)
Ross: Hey! (Listens.) Yeah-yeah, we're just having dinner. (Listens.) Uh, yeah, sure uh hold on. (To the gang.) She wants to say hi. (To Emily) Hold on.
Ross: Okay. (Ross starts frantically looking for a clock.)
Ross: No-no, I-I have to see if this apartment became available.
Ross: Hey-hey, I thought she told you to follow the recipe exactly!
[The next one is from Episode 507: The One Where Ross Moves In.]
Phoebe: (On the phone, in New York) Uh, hello, this is Ross Gellers personal physician, Dr. Philange.
Ross: Well lets just say (singing) Rosss caaaaan!
(Ross takes big steps leaving for Joey and Rachel's apartment, where Rachel is going through her papers.)
Ross: Thats okay, Im cool over here. Ill catch up with you later, Joey. (Joey is shocked.)
Ross: Rach, thanks but uh, I don't need you doing me any favors.
Ross: That that's ridiculous! I don't feel guilty for her failures!
Ross: Yeah, I'd probably enjoy it more if you didn't keep batting my hand away.
Ross: Oh, oh, I'm, I'm, I'm sorry sweetie, I was just trying to ah, I'm dialing another number. (hangs up)
Ross: Oh-oh, youre-youre fellow scholars. What exactly were you looking for, hmm? Perhaps, (Grabs a book from the shelf behind him) perhaps Dr. Chester Stocks musings on the Smiledon Californicus?
ROSS: It's the only possibility, Phoebe.