words in movies
Carol: (entering with Ben and Ross) Hey guys!
Ross: Hi!
Ross: (sets Ben down) Well, it's not for sure but umm, we met this guy in the park who thought Ben was really cute--y'know, which he is--so umm anyhoo, he uh, he gave us his card and told us to bring him down for this commercial he's auditioning.
Joey: (reading the card) Whoa! This guy is like the biggest commercial casting director in town! (Ross gasps) Ben takes one lousy walk in the park and gets an audition!! (Ross and Carol stare at him, then Joey realizes what he just said.) I mean, way to go Ben! (Gives Ben the thumbs up, which Ben returns.) Man! I've been in that park a million times and no one offered me an audition.
Ross: I know, it's crazy! We were just pushing Ben on the swings
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is eating breakfast, Ross is heading for the bathroom.]
Joey: Ross!! We're having a surprise party for Rachel!!
Ross: (from the bathroom) Okay!!
Ross: All right, I gotta take off. I'm picking up Ben then we're off to the big audition.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Yeah the dad and Ben eat soup and pretend to enjoy it.
Ross: You're not his godfather.
Ross: (Pause) Of course I am! (Joey is relieved) Okay, let's go godfather.
[Scene: Ben's audition, Carol, Ross, and Ben along with about 10 more families are in a waiting room as Joey enters happily.]
Ross: Really? That's great!
Ross: Yeah well, he's not gonna get this one. Ben is way cuter than that kid. I mean look at him, look at you, (Starts to whine like a baby and Joey just glares at him.)
Ross: Joey, you look nothing like Ben.
Ross: (entering, downtrodden) Hi.
Ross: Not so good.
Ross: (Pause) Yeah I am! Yeah, Ben got a second audition!
Joey: (also downtrodden) Yeah, I had to teach Ross my bit because I actually didn't get a callback.
Ross: Oh God, this is so nerve wracking! How-how do you do this?
Ross: Yes!! I knew it!! (To the people who didn't make it.) Bye-bye! So long! Later!
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Yeah, it is.
Ross: No, we-we're gonna be like best friends, that's why it's gonna be weird.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are talking.]
Ross and Chandler: Hi!
Ross: Seriously that's a lot of cups.
Ross: Hey!
Joey: Ross good, I'm uh glad you're here. I wanna talk to you about something.
Ross: What's up?
Ross: Wow, uh, Joey that's-that's great. Thanks man.
Ross: Well, you just
Joey: I just said that so you wouldn't let Ben do it! Look Ross, if anyone should step aside it should be Ben!
Ross: What?!
Ross: Why should Ben step aside? It was his audition in the first place! You-you just tagged along! You're like the uh, tag-a-long dad.
Ross: What?!
Ross: And why wouldn't he get it?
Ross: Are you saying your kid eats soup better than my kid?
Ross: Oh yeah? I guess we'll just see!
Ross: You're kid's name is Raymond!
Carol: Joey, Ross is gonna be here any second, would you mind watching Ben for me while I use the ladies' room?
Ross: (entering, angrily) Joey!
Joey: (angrily) Ross!
Ross: (angrily) Ben! (Pause.) (Happily.) I mean, Ben! Ben!
[Cut to another part of the room, Ross is going to talk to Joey.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Listen man, uh, I'm sorry the audition didn't go so well.
Ross: No really, I-I am! I feel bad!
Joey: Yeah? Well look Ross, you don't have to. Okay? It's not your fault I suck. I mean what kind of an actor can't even say, "Hmm, noodle soup." (Nods his head in disgust.)
Ross: Yeah y'know what? Maybe-maybe you didn't mess up your audition because you suck, maybe you messed up because you care more about uh, your godson.
Ross: I think, sub-consciously
Ross: (pause) I think on some level, you-you sabotaged your own audition so that Ben would get the part.
Ross: No!
Ross: There you go. Thank you!
Ross: No.
Ross: (moves closer) All Im saying is, its one thing being prepared for an attack against like each other; whole another story being prepared for an attack, I dont know, like a (turns and puts his face close to Rachels and screams) surprise!!
Ross: What are you guys doing later?
Dr. Green: Stay calm?!! How do you expect me to stay calm?! This is unacceptable Rachel! And I wanna know why?!! Is it because that punk Ross wont marry you?! Thats it! Is that it?!
Ross: Okay! Okay! Ooh-hey-hey-hey! Okay! Okay! Okay! Ill-Ill tell her tonight I cant see her anymore.
Ross: Not-not really. Th-th-there was just Carol.
Ross: Well look-look Im not calling anybody! Okay? It was like a million years ago!
Ross: Playpen?! Bens seven!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are still giving away all of their secrets.]
Ross: Okay, that's great. (Susan gives her drink to Carol.) No, I'm- Oh.
Ross: Ahh, whoo-hoo!!(He runs back out the door.
Ross: Yeah, but still, cheap shot!
Ross: Dude. (Hugs him.)
Rachel: Noo! Oh no! No! God no! He should not get back together with her. I know that! You know that! Even Ross knows that! But that still doesnt give us the right to erase his message!
ROSS: [pulls the cigarette off his upper lip and hands it to Mr. Greene] Yeah, yes it is, I was just moistening the tip.
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Carol is working on something at the table and Ross is reading a newspaper on the couch.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Ross, and Chandler are making a pit stop on their party tour.]
Ross: (Using a slightly different inflection for each.) I do. I do. I do.
Ross: No! No! No! No! No! I-I-I-II need to, I need to lie down.
Ross: So how long are you in town?
(..then turn back to the desk when the surprise hits them, and Ross and Chandler whip around once more. Monica and Rachel recoil slightly.)
Ross: Yeah.
Jen: I forgot my paper. (Ross quickly hides the card in his mouth.)
Ross: Uh, middle balcony.
Ross: Okay, but just the jacket. Double-oh and seven are not gettin in there.
Ross: Hi!
[Scene: the bar, Phoebe is still hugging Ross.]
Ross: No, youve heard my practice. Okay? Just-just give me a chance to perform for you and then decide whatever you want. And Im not going to tell you what song Im gonna play either. But uh, lets just say when its over Ill bet there will be a we bit o celebration.
Phoebe: (sitting down next to Ross) Yknow she has a face Ross!
Ross: Department of Sanitation?
Ross: Mm-hmm. Shesshes emotional, but, but ballsy.
Ross: I know. Can you believe that?
Ross: (pause) Together? Like-like to people?
Ross: Okay. (Not happy about it.)
Ross: Uh sure, sure.
Ross: Okay, can we just sign please?
ROSS: Uh, Macy's, third floor, home furnishings.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Huh.
Ross: Huh. Wow, this is great.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Yeah, I kind of uh, have something else planned for you guys.
Ross: Hmm
Ross: Pheebs come on! I mean, consider the source! Of course her ex-husbands gonna say that stuff. Now, if youll excuse me
Ross: The card! I think were there!
Ross: Lets do the card!
Ross: Really?! I mean, even with the card?
Ross: Wha, heh, how could you know, I don't even know!
Ross: And itll be cool to see it again! Yeah!
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Smaller than that.
Ross: Uh, bigger than that.
Rachel: Uh Ross? You asked me that.
Ross: So do we!! So do we!! (Ross notices a couple has been staring at them.) Im sorry you had to see that.
(Rachel and Ross both stop kissing, and quickly step back from each other.)
Rachel: No, no, no, no! Ross, wait! Come on! You know, there’s other stuff. Here’s a nice shirt, look at these nice pants...
Ross: Really.
(Ross groans no.)
Ross: But thats not enough. So So heres a key to my apartment. (Hands her his key.)
Ross: Yeah!
Phoebe: Where?! (Ross exits.)
(Ross enters with a bottle in his hand)
Ross: Oh great, I live on the street.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: No. That guy is.
Ross: I love you!
Ross: Im trying to tell you I made you a mix tape.
Chandler: Yeah I know, we're losing Ross, Joey said hence
Ross: Hell yeah!
[Scene: The hallway, Rachel is convincing Ross that Emily is good for him.]
Ross: Aw, we-we are so (Motions that theyre connected.) So umm, well I-I-I like you and I-I love umm, yknow hanging out with you. And I mean-Im having a lot of fun. (He pauses and thinks there might be more, but decides there isnt.)
Ross: Shake it!
Rachel: What-what if I marry RossOr Joey?
Ross: Shake it!
[Cut to the balcony, Ross has just climbed through the window.]
(Ross continues to climb down. He puts his other foot further down on Joeys torso, but that doesnt work very well and hes forced to wrap his legs around Joey. Which then forces Joey to get a nice and close view of Rosss crotch.)
Ross: Yes. I find it to be something of a conversation piece.
[Scene: N.Y.U, Ross is teaching a class.]
Ross: Move it! Move it! Move it!! Hey!!! Im the teacher!!
Ross: Okay, it was just me and her at the back of the train, and I sat near the door, so shed have to pass by me if she wanted to switch cars. She was totally at my mercy.
Ross: Well if you can't remember, can't we just forget about this?
Ross: Rachel please! That is so inappropriate!
Ross: Okay, okay, so we're in the car. Right? And bang! A shot was fired. And Joey with no regard for his own safety throws himself on me!
Monica: Oh umm, I meant to tell you, Ross is coming.
Ross: Oh and you know what, it will be even better tomorrow, because I won't be constantly interrupted by Joey checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet. (Someone knocks on the door, Ross goes to open and it's Joey, Rachel and Chandler).
Ross: Maybe that will liven up this party.
Ross: Youve seen it, the Geller Yeller.
Ross: Okay, Im going to start climb down you now.
Ross: (sarcastic) Oh! Oh-oh, the bands ready! Well, I-I-we gotta do what the band saysI dont care about the stupid band!!
Ross: Phoebe!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is getting advice from Ross and Joey.]
ROSS: I was doing great with Julie before I found out about you.
Ross: Right.
Ross: And smart!
Ross: Really? Me too!
Ross: That sounds fair.
Ross: All right.
Ross: Fine, you go.
Ross: Huh.
Ross: Veto.
Ross: Crack isnt even an intravenous drug!