words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Ross are eating Chinese.]
Ross: Marcel. Bring me the rice, c'mon. Bring me the rice, c'mon. Good boy. Good boy. C'mere, gimme the rice. (Marcel brings the rice) Thank you, good boy. Well, I see he's finally mastered the difference between 'bring me the' and 'pee in the'. (Rachel ignores him) 'Bring me the' and- Rach?
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Really.
Ross: Whoah, uh, what happened to, uh, 'Forget relationships! I'm done with men!' The whole, uh, penis embargo?
Ross: Wait-wait. I, I got it. I was there.
Ross: Yes. Yes. Yes! Yes, I really do! In fact, it's funny, very often, someone who you wouldn't think could-could curl your toes, might just be the one who...
Ross: ...Gets interrupted. Hi!
Ross: Alright, I've gotta go. C'mon, Marcel! C'mon! We're gonna go take a bath. Yes we are, aren't we? Yes, we are.
Ross: That's right, you're gonna spend tomorrow at Aunt Rachel's, aren't you.
Ross: 'Pwease, Aunt Monica, pwease?' Oh, unclench. You're not even gonna be there.
Ross: I'm telling you, she said she's looking for a relationship with someone exactly like me.
Ross: Well, I added the 'exactly like me' part... But she said she's looking for someone, and someone is gonna be there tonight.
Ross: Well, I think it's perfect. Y'know, it's just gonna be the two of us, she spent all day taking care of my monkey...
Ross: Anyway, I figured after work I'd go pick up a bottle of wine, go over there and, uh, try to woo her.
[Time lapse. Now everyone but Ross and Phoebe is back at Monica and Rachel's.]
Monica: Okay, you stay here, and just wait by the phone. Spray Lysol in my shoe, and wait for Ross to kill you.
Rachel: (On the phone) Okay, he's a, he's a black capuchian monkey with a white face... (Enter Ross) ...with, with Russian dressing and, and pickles on the side. Okay. Thanks.
Ross: Hey. How did, uh, how'd it go today?
Ross: Yeah. You, uh, you want some?
Ross: Uh, okay, yeah, we could do that, but before we head off to the murder capital of the North-East, I was, uh, kinda wanting to run something by you. Y'know how we were, uh, y'know, talking before about, uh, relationships and stuff? (Uncorks the wine) Well-
Rachel: Oh God, Ross, I cannot do this.
Ross: Okay, quick and painful. (Starts to cork the wine)
Rachel: Oh God... Okay. Alright. Alright. Okay. Ross, please don't hate me.
Ross: Oh, what? What-what?
Ross: ...Yeah?
[Cut to outside the window, with Ross reacting with disbelief. The shot pans back until we see Marcel sitting on the window ledge.]
Ross: (Angry) I- I- I ca- I can't believe this. I mean, all I asked you to do was keep him in the apartment.
Ross: No, y'know what, I guess it's partially my fault. Y'know, I shouldn't've, uh, asked you to start off with a monkey. I should've started you off with like a pen or a pencil.
Rachel: (Tearfully) Ross, I'm doing everything that I can, I've got everybody looking for him, and I- (Door buzzer goes and she runs to get it) Oh! Who is it?
Ross: You called Animal Control?
Ross: Marcel is an illegal exotic animal. I'm not allowed to have him in the city. If they find him, they'll take him away from me.
Ross: That's right, I.. 'cause I didn't expect you were gonna invite them to the apartment!
Rachel: Oh, y'know what? That was a complete misunderstanding! (Ross puts his arms around her and they act all sweetness and light)
Ross: Yeah, we thought we had a monkey, but we-we didn't.
Ross: Cat!
Ross: My uncle Marcel.
[Cut to Marcel walking along a hallway. He notices a banana on the floor and picks it up. The hand of an unseen person grabs him and carries him away. Then cut to Ross and Rachel on the street outside.]
Ross: Marcel?
Ross: Marc- oh, this is ridiculous! We've been all over the neighbourhood. He's gone, he's-he's just gone.
Rachel: Ross, you don't know that.
Ross: Oh come on. It's cold, it's dark, he doesn't know the Village. (Kicks a sign in frustration) And now I have a broken foot. I have no monkey, and a broken foot! Thank you very much.
Rachel: Ross, I said I'm sorry like a million times. What do you want me to do? You want me to break my foot too? Okay, I'm gonna break my foot, right here. (Kicks the sign) Ow!! Oh! Oh my God, oh my God! There, are you happy now?!
Ross: Yeah, yeah. Y'know, now that you kicked the sign, hey! I don't miss Marcel any more!
Ross: Oh, no no no. Nono, this is just vintage Rachel. I mean, things just sort of happen around you. I mean, you're off in Rachel-land, doing your Rachel-thing, totally oblivious to people's monkeys, or to people's feelings...
Rachel: Ross.
Ross: I don't even wanna hear it, you're just...
Rachel: Ross.
Ross: Oh, forget it, okay?
Rachel: Ross!
Ross: What? What?
(Scene 4: Everyone in the hall outside Mr. Heckles' door. Ross is carrying the box of bananas. He bangs on the door)
Ross: Hi, did you order some bananas?
Ross: Gimme back my monkey.
(There is a monkey-like noise from within and Ross pushes past Mr. Heckles and enters his apartment)
Ross: Marcel? Marcel? Okay, where is he? Where is he? Marcel? Marcel?
Ross: Marcel! What've you done to him?
Ross: Are you insane? C'mere, Marcel, c'mon. (Marcel starts to go to him)
Ross: C'mere, Marcel. (Turns to Ross)
Ross: Okay, gimme my monkey back.
Ross: Alright, I want my monkey.
Ross: (To Rachel) You had to be a bitch in high school, you couldn't've been fat.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Rachel and Ross are there. Ross is trying to get the dress off Marcel.]
Ross: It'll be nice to get this off finally, won't it? Yes it will. (Marcel resists) Or we can leave it on for now, that's fine.
Ross: Listen, I'm- I'm sorry I was so hard on you before, it's just I...
Rachel: Oh, Ross, c'mon. It's my fault, I almost lost your...
Ross: Yeah, but you were the one who got him back, y'know? You, you were great. ...Hey, we uh, we still have that, uh, that bottle of wine. You in the mood for, uh, something grape?
Ross: Alright. (He goes to get the glasses. Then he hesitates and turns off the main light. Rachel looks round and he acts surprised) The, uh, the neighbours must be vacuuming. (He sits down and starts to pour the wine) Well, so long as we're here and, uh, not on the subject, I was thinking about, uh, how mad we got at each other before, and, um, I was thinking maybe it was partially because of how we, um...
Ross and Rachel: Oh!
Ross: We have got to start locking that door!
ROSS: Maybe you should look up "fascinating."
Rachel: Ross look, look this is good for you. Okay? Lets face it, so far the guys not lovin ya! But I can turn that around! I got the inside track! We can all go out to dinner, yknow? And I can talk you up! Ross, the guy is a very, very successful lawyer!
Ross: (taking the flyer) Apparently Phoebes mother also goes by the name Julio.
ROSS: Oh God.� (He hugs Rachel)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Rachel and Phoebe enter.)
Ross: ...nauseous, I'm physically nauseous. What am I supposed to do, huh? Call immigration? (pauses, looks suddenly inspired) I could call immigration!
[Scene: Ross and Rachels I guess I have to call it that now. Rachel is reading on the couch as Ross enters.]
ROSS: (holds up the message) Uh, Rach.
ROSS: Hey you guys.� (He sits.)
Ross: Oh my God! Rach-Rach, are-are-are you sure?
[Rachel, seeing what he did for her, gets up, walks across the room, and kisses Ross]
Ross: You're really not coming back?
Ross: I can't get *enough* dinosaurs!
Ross: Do you realise that man has cried in our apartment three times...? Huh? I haven't cried that many times since I moved in.
Ross: What, now youre not even taking to me? (moves over to the coffee table) Look Rachel, I-Im sorry, okay, Im sorry, I was out of my mind. I thought Id lost you, I didnt know what to do. Come on! Come on, how insane must I have been to do something like this? Huh? I-I dont cheat right, I, thats not me, Im not Joey!
Ross: Your page said come to the hospital, what? What was it? What happened?
Ross: Dear Mary-Angela. Hi. Hows it going. This is the hardest letter Ive ever had to write. (to Chandler) What the hells a matter with you? How do you think Joeys going to react when he finds out that you blew off his sister with a letter?
(Steve goes over to look at Ross who's trying to look cool, but has some frosting on his lip.)
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear. (Chandler and Ross stare at him) What? Ross, Ross, would you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?
Ross: Oh. (looks at his watch) Oh-oh. (takes a drink of coffee and resumes reading the letter)
Ross: I cant believe someone would do that for a grade.
Ross: Oh my God. Ohh, my little sister and my best friend shaking up. Oh, thats great. Thats great. (Kisses and hugs her.)
Ross: (shocked at her beauty) Cassie?!
[Ross enters, distraught.]
(Mike knocks on Ross's door.� Ross opens it.)
Ross: Okay, how about you flew to London to stop my wedding! Ah, how about you told me you loved me after I was already married!
Ross: Yeah!
Joey: And for Ross, Mr. Sweet-tooth.
Ross: All right everyone, lift! (They and try to lift the car, of course it doesnt raise up) And slide!! (Everyone leans over, but the car still does not move.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Monica, Chandler, and Joey are there as Ross enters with Phoebe.]
Ross: I'm sorry Chandler, but this, this is really important to me.
(Ross turns around and walks back to Ben.)
Ross: (to Chandler) What are you doing?
Ross: Thank you, but, but you, you gotta leave.
Ross: (in a low voice) Answer faster, answer faster!
Ross: Oh, nothin much. Just trying to figure out what Im gonna do for dinner.
Ross: Look, Chandler, its my joke. But, hey, if it makes you feel any better they dont print the name, so it doesnt really matter who gets credit, right?
Ross: I could, yeah, I can do that.
Ross: (in the same low voice) Answer better, answer better!
Rachel: Alright thanks, oh Ross could you stop by the coffee house and get me a muffin?
Ross: Hey you know what? You know what? To avoid this little thing in the future, let's just say, you and me, never having sex again.
Ross: Thats right, I love you! And-and Im gonna play with you all the time.
Ross: (To Monica) Youre drunk! Mom and dad are gonna be maaaaadd! Maybe Im a little drunk.
Rachel: Ross, thank you. Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie?
Phoebe: (interrupting) Uh-huh, me too. Ross, maybe I should've specified that I'd be needing a grown up doctor.
Ross: Oh yeah, nobody knows. And we're not supposed to ask.
Ross: Oh my god...
Ross: Wow, it really is!
Ross: Well isnt there something you can do to earn a little extra money? I mean, cant-cant you pick up, I dont know, an extra shift here?
Ross: Oh, hey...
Rachel: I hate when Ross is right!
Ross: Hey you guys!
Ross: Just then or-or all the time, cause we-we have jobs yknow.
Ross: Yeah.
Rachel: (gasps) Who got married?! (Ross is as surprised to hear this as she is.)
Ross: Okay, (gets the money) so, do you make the pizzas in one of those uh, wood-burning ovens?
[Time Lapse, Ross and the woman are now in a state of partial undress and are standing in front of the head librarian with two security guards watching them.]
Ross: Yeah. The bartender said that they split up into two search parties, the herbivores and the carnivores. (pause) You know, we as a group are not the coolest.
Joey: I cant believe Ross went out with Rachels sister! When Chandler made out with my sister I was mad at him for 10 years.
Ross: Oh, I'm sorry, did I say "invest it"? I meant "be cool and piss it all away" (Joey and Chandler pleased)
Ross: Okay. Now-now-now should I climb down your front so were face to face or-or should I climb down your back so were-were butt to face.
Monica: Ross used to stay up every Saturday night to watch Golden Girls!
Ross: Oh nothing. Nothing! Just uh, youve been a little short with me lately. Im not trying to irritate you.
Ross: Whats uh, whats going on? Do you not, do you not like Katie?
Ross: What are you, a child?
Ross: (grabbing back his coffee) If the place you are referring too is being in love, then she is in the same place as me because I am not in that place!
Ross: Thats impossible! I mean we have had a deal for years! We-we-we shook on it, although believe me she wanted to do a lot more than that.
Ross: I am, yes.
Ross: You-youre gonna get married?! I mean Were gonna be brothers-in-law! (They hug.)
Ross: Whazzup??
Ross: Hey... I made up that joke and told it to you! (He points at Chandler. Joey gestures to Ross "What are you doing?)
Ross: Umm say, I-I opened this earlier (The privacy screen) but let me give you guys some privacy.
Ross: We have to stop them before something happens!
Ross: Where the hell are Joey and Molly? I asked you to watch them.
(Ross gets out of the bathroom, sees Chandler)
Ross: I hate Chandler, the bastard ruined my life. (Rachel starts looking around and down, with a 'What the hell is going on?' look on her face.)
Ross: Thanx.
(Ross and Chandler walk in, Joey looks disappointed)
Ross and Chandler: Come on! Joe!
(Mike leaves.� Ross closes the door behind him.)
Chandler: Hey, can I talk to you about this groomsman thing? If you pick Ross, he'll walk you down the isle just fine. But if you choose me, you'll be getting some comedy!
Ross: Yeah, see, we-we-we have to stop across the hall, because its my sister. But, uh, uh yknow actually, growing up with a sister was nice because it really helped me understand women. Yeah, you-you should tell your friends that.
ROSS: Can I ask you somethin'?
Ross: Please take your time, its an important decision. Not like, say, I know! deciding to marry someone, this is about a muffin.
Monica: Dad! Theres Ross (points), why dont you go talk to him?
Ross: I know! I know. You know what? Im putting Ruth back on the table!
ROSS: Not at all! I love this guy. Hey, I was so psyched to hear you're back with my sister!
Ross: Yeah! Yeah! OK! Sure! Look! Can we...can we talk about what happened here last night?
Ross: Why...Why should I? I mean if she wants to move on, that's fine!
Ross: (not getting it) Yeah! Yeah! Rachel picked it out for me. She told me to trust her and you know what? I'm glad I did! I turned quite a few heads on my way over here.
(They all leave but Ross, but they all come back a few seconds later. They make faces at the baby.)
[Scene: The hallway between the bedrooms. Ross is coming upstairs and stops between two doors. He looks at the one on the right, then he looks at the one on his left, thinks about it, and goes in the one on his right.]
Ross: What are you doing here, Santa?
Chandler: Oh really?! You think youre stronger? Why dont you prove it? (He pushes Ross who starts to fall backwards until Mona catches him.)
Guy: (To Rachel) So uh, I'm on my way back to the bathroom. (Ross giggles.)
[Scene: The ticket-counter. Ross and Phoebe have their tickets and start looking at the screens in order to find the gate.]
Ross: Don't you have to be at work?
Ross: No. When he called, I...I threw the message away.
Gavin: What's Ross doing to you on that picture?
ROSS: All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and dammit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes (kisses Joey).