words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Ross are eating Chinese.]
Ross: Marcel. Bring me the rice, c'mon. Bring me the rice, c'mon. Good boy. Good boy. C'mere, gimme the rice. (Marcel brings the rice) Thank you, good boy. Well, I see he's finally mastered the difference between 'bring me the' and 'pee in the'. (Rachel ignores him) 'Bring me the' and- Rach?
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Really.
Ross: Whoah, uh, what happened to, uh, 'Forget relationships! I'm done with men!' The whole, uh, penis embargo?
Ross: Wait-wait. I, I got it. I was there.
Ross: Yes. Yes. Yes! Yes, I really do! In fact, it's funny, very often, someone who you wouldn't think could-could curl your toes, might just be the one who...
Ross: ...Gets interrupted. Hi!
Ross: Alright, I've gotta go. C'mon, Marcel! C'mon! We're gonna go take a bath. Yes we are, aren't we? Yes, we are.
Ross: That's right, you're gonna spend tomorrow at Aunt Rachel's, aren't you.
Ross: 'Pwease, Aunt Monica, pwease?' Oh, unclench. You're not even gonna be there.
Ross: I'm telling you, she said she's looking for a relationship with someone exactly like me.
Ross: Well, I added the 'exactly like me' part... But she said she's looking for someone, and someone is gonna be there tonight.
Ross: Well, I think it's perfect. Y'know, it's just gonna be the two of us, she spent all day taking care of my monkey...
Ross: Anyway, I figured after work I'd go pick up a bottle of wine, go over there and, uh, try to woo her.
[Time lapse. Now everyone but Ross and Phoebe is back at Monica and Rachel's.]
Monica: Okay, you stay here, and just wait by the phone. Spray Lysol in my shoe, and wait for Ross to kill you.
Rachel: (On the phone) Okay, he's a, he's a black capuchian monkey with a white face... (Enter Ross) ...with, with Russian dressing and, and pickles on the side. Okay. Thanks.
Ross: Hey. How did, uh, how'd it go today?
Ross: Yeah. You, uh, you want some?
Ross: Uh, okay, yeah, we could do that, but before we head off to the murder capital of the North-East, I was, uh, kinda wanting to run something by you. Y'know how we were, uh, y'know, talking before about, uh, relationships and stuff? (Uncorks the wine) Well-
Rachel: Oh God, Ross, I cannot do this.
Ross: Okay, quick and painful. (Starts to cork the wine)
Rachel: Oh God... Okay. Alright. Alright. Okay. Ross, please don't hate me.
Ross: Oh, what? What-what?
Ross: ...Yeah?
[Cut to outside the window, with Ross reacting with disbelief. The shot pans back until we see Marcel sitting on the window ledge.]
Ross: (Angry) I- I- I ca- I can't believe this. I mean, all I asked you to do was keep him in the apartment.
Ross: No, y'know what, I guess it's partially my fault. Y'know, I shouldn't've, uh, asked you to start off with a monkey. I should've started you off with like a pen or a pencil.
Rachel: (Tearfully) Ross, I'm doing everything that I can, I've got everybody looking for him, and I- (Door buzzer goes and she runs to get it) Oh! Who is it?
Ross: You called Animal Control?
Ross: Marcel is an illegal exotic animal. I'm not allowed to have him in the city. If they find him, they'll take him away from me.
Ross: That's right, I.. 'cause I didn't expect you were gonna invite them to the apartment!
Rachel: Oh, y'know what? That was a complete misunderstanding! (Ross puts his arms around her and they act all sweetness and light)
Ross: Yeah, we thought we had a monkey, but we-we didn't.
Ross: Cat!
Ross: My uncle Marcel.
[Cut to Marcel walking along a hallway. He notices a banana on the floor and picks it up. The hand of an unseen person grabs him and carries him away. Then cut to Ross and Rachel on the street outside.]
Ross: Marcel?
Ross: Marc- oh, this is ridiculous! We've been all over the neighbourhood. He's gone, he's-he's just gone.
Rachel: Ross, you don't know that.
Ross: Oh come on. It's cold, it's dark, he doesn't know the Village. (Kicks a sign in frustration) And now I have a broken foot. I have no monkey, and a broken foot! Thank you very much.
Rachel: Ross, I said I'm sorry like a million times. What do you want me to do? You want me to break my foot too? Okay, I'm gonna break my foot, right here. (Kicks the sign) Ow!! Oh! Oh my God, oh my God! There, are you happy now?!
Ross: Yeah, yeah. Y'know, now that you kicked the sign, hey! I don't miss Marcel any more!
Ross: Oh, no no no. Nono, this is just vintage Rachel. I mean, things just sort of happen around you. I mean, you're off in Rachel-land, doing your Rachel-thing, totally oblivious to people's monkeys, or to people's feelings...
Rachel: Ross.
Ross: I don't even wanna hear it, you're just...
Rachel: Ross.
Ross: Oh, forget it, okay?
Rachel: Ross!
Ross: What? What?
(Scene 4: Everyone in the hall outside Mr. Heckles' door. Ross is carrying the box of bananas. He bangs on the door)
Ross: Hi, did you order some bananas?
Ross: Gimme back my monkey.
(There is a monkey-like noise from within and Ross pushes past Mr. Heckles and enters his apartment)
Ross: Marcel? Marcel? Okay, where is he? Where is he? Marcel? Marcel?
Ross: Marcel! What've you done to him?
Ross: Are you insane? C'mere, Marcel, c'mon. (Marcel starts to go to him)
Ross: C'mere, Marcel. (Turns to Ross)
Ross: Okay, gimme my monkey back.
Ross: Alright, I want my monkey.
Ross: (To Rachel) You had to be a bitch in high school, you couldn't've been fat.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Rachel and Ross are there. Ross is trying to get the dress off Marcel.]
Ross: It'll be nice to get this off finally, won't it? Yes it will. (Marcel resists) Or we can leave it on for now, that's fine.
Ross: Listen, I'm- I'm sorry I was so hard on you before, it's just I...
Rachel: Oh, Ross, c'mon. It's my fault, I almost lost your...
Ross: Yeah, but you were the one who got him back, y'know? You, you were great. ...Hey, we uh, we still have that, uh, that bottle of wine. You in the mood for, uh, something grape?
Ross: Alright. (He goes to get the glasses. Then he hesitates and turns off the main light. Rachel looks round and he acts surprised) The, uh, the neighbours must be vacuuming. (He sits down and starts to pour the wine) Well, so long as we're here and, uh, not on the subject, I was thinking about, uh, how mad we got at each other before, and, um, I was thinking maybe it was partially because of how we, um...
Ross and Rachel: Oh!
Ross: We have got to start locking that door!
(Ross comes back from bathroom.)
Ross: So I asked Emily if she would come to New York, and she said yes.
Ross: Yeah. Yeah. Yes, this place is beautiful. Emilys parents got married here.
Ross: Soon hell be able to call you, that lady he knew who got fired.
Ross: Oh, that is so sweet.(listens) No, no, ok, you hang up. Ok, ok, one, two, three.(He doesn't hang up and motions for Rachel to be quiet.) Well you didn't hang up either.
Ross: I think this is it. I don't know, maybe we should keep looking.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is telling Ross how he didn't get the part.]
(Chandler goes into the bathroom, closes the door, and then opens it again right away. Ross looks up and hands him the toilet paper Ross already packed.)
Rachel: Well, thats a lot better than Ross trying to kiss me in High School, and saying that he did it because he needed chapstick.
Joey: Because... look, no one wants this to happen more than me, ok? (in a trembling voice) I have gone over this moment in my head a hundred times and not once did I ever say no! (sighs) I couldn't do it to Ross!
Ross: Damnit! I'll put a candle on the cake.
Ross: Oh Im, Im making this too hard. Okay, what do you want me to do.
Rachel: Ross! I think she is trying to make something happen with you to get back at me!
[Ross holds up the blouse. It is extremely tacky, with sewn-on medals hanging off of it.]
Ross: Absolutely. (Very Squeaky.) I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, (deep voice) I'm fine. I'm not saying I wasn't a little surprised to see you guys kissing. I mean, at first I was like.. (Screams.) But now that I've had time to absorb it; Lovin' this.
Ross: (sets Ben down) Well, it's not for sure but umm, we met this guy in the park who thought Ben was really cute--y'know, which he is--so umm anyhoo, he uh, he gave us his card and told us to bring him down for this commercial he's auditioning.
ROSS: What? You have a date? Who with?
(Ross gives Phoebe a dollar.)
(Ross just stands in the doorway, for like a minute Ahh! Whats going to happen next??!!! I cant make it all the way through the Olympics!!!)
Ross: And I can even understand that you couldnt tell Rachel, but why couldnt you tell me, huh? You had all day to and you didnt.
ROSS: So, uh, does it do anything, you know, special?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's room, they've pretty much consumed the entire mini-bar. Needless to say, they're feeling no pain and are still playing blackjack.]
Ross: Now, if you need to stay late, I want to be supportive of that.
Ross: WhatYoure not serious. I mean shes a very nice woman, but there is no way we can take eight weeks of her. Shell drive us totally crazy.
Ross: (finding the part) (looks up in disgust) It so does not!!!
[Scene: A Brown Bird meeting, Ross is there with the other Brown Birds to see who won the contest.]
Ross: (stops) I justyknowI-I just have oneRachel?!
ROSS: Hey, tell me again, what do I do when Mr. Roper calls?
Ross: Hey! Hey! Hey! I get to choose my best man, and I want both you guys.
Ross: No, its my joke, its mine. You can call them, theyll tell you.
(Rachel laughs and Ross mocks her.)
Ross: Well, I kinda half to. I mean, because the thing is
Ross: Yeah, I know, so what? I mean, whos-whos to say? Does that me we-we cant do it? Look, huh, I was with Carol for four years before we got married and I wound up divorced from a pregnant lesbian. I mean, this, this makes sense for us. Come on! I mean, on our first date we ended up spending the whole weekend in Vermont! I mean, last night I got my ear pierced! Me! This feels right. Doesnt it?
Ross: Hey, I can handle it! All right?
Joey: Ross has some big thing to tell everyone.
Ross: Chandler!!! Chandler!!! (He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.) Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here!
Monica: I cant do it! (Ross falls into Monicas room)
Monica: Yknow dad, Chandler is one of Rosss very best friends!
Ross: No, of course not! (Thinks) ...Yeah, yeah, it is.
Ross: Really?! So what would you say Pheebs? Stuff like uh, "Keep your mitts off my grub?"
Ross: Nothing, nothing. Lee-lo, the laundry's done.
(Phoebe tries to give her phone to Ross, but he won't take it. He mouths "no.")
Phoebe: All right. We're gonna take Clunkers to Rosss. We'll be back in a minute. (Gets up with Monica to do so.)
Ross: (entering, with the rest of the gang) What's going on?
Ross: Good. Maybe he can switch it back.
ROSS: How come it's not mixing with the water?
Ross: First of all, I'm not losing...
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Ross is telling Monica and Joey about his date with Elizabeth.]
Ross: So I guess you bought that book after we broke up huh?
Ross: (to Ben) I know, I know. Everybody, there's someone I'd like you to meet. Yeah. This is Ben. Ben, this is everybody.
Joey: It wasnt my ring! Its Rosss ring! Thats why I felt so bad Rach, because he was going to propose.
Ross: Look, I-I drew a sketch about how we're gonna do it. (Showing them) Okay Rach, (points to the sketch) that's you. That's the couch. (Points again.)
Rachel: Oh, I so wanted Ross to know first, but Im so relieved you guys know.
Ross: The eyes did still sparkle.
Ross: I'm just, I'm just glad I didn't miss my daughter's first words (goes back to checking the tickets).
ROSS: You know, you know, actually it's getting better. It is. It is. Let's not go. Anyone for Thcrabble?
Ross: That must be our alcohol and beers! (Gets up to answer it.)
Ross: All right, I'm coming out. Hey, can you turn the lights off.
Ross: I don't know, but I.. Look, even if she shoots me down, at least I won't spend the rest of my life wondering what would have happened. Where - where is my coat?!
Rachel: Oh, really, well Ross, you know what? I am a big girl. I don't need someone telling me what is best for me.
Ross first has a look of 'huh' then changes it to sarcastic happy: Thank you Amy.
Rachel: (on phone) Excuse me, Im sorry, Im gonna have to call you back, Ive got a Schemp in my office. (hangs up) (to Ross) What are you doing?
Ross: No you doy'know what, youre not gonna suck me into this.
[Scene: The Airport, Carol and Ross are waiting for Emily and Susan to deplane. A gorgeous woman walks by and they both turn to watch her go.]
Ross: I am a good kisser.
Ross: No! No! Oh my God. Did she get off the plane? Did she get off the plane?
(At that Ross plugs in some Christmas lights to light the place up.)
Rachel: Oh, great! Well, then I'm gonna take Emma to see him. I wonder why Ross said that he died.
Ross: Listen man, uh, I'm sorry the audition didn't go so well.
(He closes the door and turns to see Ross glaring at him.)
Ross: Um, Monica and I arent supposed to play football.
Ross: Pheebs, if you dont tell him, soon hes gonna be married, and then youre gonna hate yourself.
Ross: So I dont wanna be just anybody.
Ross: Then talk to him! He might be fine with it.
Ross: Yes! No-no! I know, I know what the list is! Mom! Look if you see Chandler, could you just let him know Im looking for him?
(Ross enters with a gift for the baby.)
Phoebe: All right well lets see, Ross is a good father, but Joey has a boatThis is hard!
Ross: Its no surprise that your winning, cause you got to pick first, so you got the better team.
Ross: (they shake hands) Hello, Susan. (To Carol) Good shake. Good shake. So, uh, we're just waiting for...?
Ross: No-no-no, Im saying we-we buy more of this (disposable cameras) at the gift shop, throw our tuxes back on, and take a few pictures. All we have to do is make sure not to get anybody elses faces.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, (And thats the last time for that line, no more Chandler and Joeys or Monica and Rachels, ever!) Joey and Ross are carrying the last table of Rachels. Rachel follows slowly, but is stopped by Monica.]
Monica: All right, so now that Ross knows can you tell us yknow how it happened? I mean, when did it happen? How many times did it happen?
Ross: Hey! Hey! Come on! You can! I know you can do this! Lets go!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Chandler, and Phoebe are there. Joey is working.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Ross are doing a crossword, Monica is cooking, and Chandler is still staring at his phone.]
Ross: Okay, okay, fine, youre right. Lets ah, lets take a break, (goes to the door) lets cool off, okay, lets get some frozen yogart, or something.. (opens the door)
Ross: Oh, no, it's no big deal, I mean, if I weren't doing this I'd just, you know, be at the gym working out.
Ross: Monica had such a crush on him. Yeah, she used to kiss his poster every night before she went to bed.
Ross: I know, it's crazy! We were just pushing Ben on the swings
(Rachel heads for Joey and Chandler's and Phoebe heads for the kitchen to find Ross.)
Ross: Hey, I brought the camera for Emma's video.
Ross: Yes, that's what I have. It's not on the board.
Ross: (to Monica) So, uh, Jules tells me you guys are going shopping tomorrow?
Phoebe: (running after her) Rach, its gonna be okay! (To Ross and Joey) You guys are the best!
Ross: Which is fine! Because you just turned(Removes two candles from the cake)twenty-eight!
Ross: Okay. (The girls leave.) (to Tommy) So uh, well, this-this is uh, this is awkward.
Ross: No. They swoop in and steal your jackpot.
[Scene: The delivery room, everyone except Rachel is there. Phoebe, Monica, and Ross are holding the babies.]
Joey: What's a matter Ross? What you're nervous about your speech?
Rachel: Theres not gonna be a wedding. Ross and I are not getting married.