words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Ross are eating Chinese.]
Ross: Marcel. Bring me the rice, c'mon. Bring me the rice, c'mon. Good boy. Good boy. C'mere, gimme the rice. (Marcel brings the rice) Thank you, good boy. Well, I see he's finally mastered the difference between 'bring me the' and 'pee in the'. (Rachel ignores him) 'Bring me the' and- Rach?
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Really.
Ross: Whoah, uh, what happened to, uh, 'Forget relationships! I'm done with men!' The whole, uh, penis embargo?
Ross: Wait-wait. I, I got it. I was there.
Ross: Yes. Yes. Yes! Yes, I really do! In fact, it's funny, very often, someone who you wouldn't think could-could curl your toes, might just be the one who...
Ross: ...Gets interrupted. Hi!
Ross: Alright, I've gotta go. C'mon, Marcel! C'mon! We're gonna go take a bath. Yes we are, aren't we? Yes, we are.
Ross: That's right, you're gonna spend tomorrow at Aunt Rachel's, aren't you.
Ross: 'Pwease, Aunt Monica, pwease?' Oh, unclench. You're not even gonna be there.
Ross: I'm telling you, she said she's looking for a relationship with someone exactly like me.
Ross: Well, I added the 'exactly like me' part... But she said she's looking for someone, and someone is gonna be there tonight.
Ross: Well, I think it's perfect. Y'know, it's just gonna be the two of us, she spent all day taking care of my monkey...
Ross: Anyway, I figured after work I'd go pick up a bottle of wine, go over there and, uh, try to woo her.
[Time lapse. Now everyone but Ross and Phoebe is back at Monica and Rachel's.]
Monica: Okay, you stay here, and just wait by the phone. Spray Lysol in my shoe, and wait for Ross to kill you.
Rachel: (On the phone) Okay, he's a, he's a black capuchian monkey with a white face... (Enter Ross) ...with, with Russian dressing and, and pickles on the side. Okay. Thanks.
Ross: Hey. How did, uh, how'd it go today?
Ross: Yeah. You, uh, you want some?
Ross: Uh, okay, yeah, we could do that, but before we head off to the murder capital of the North-East, I was, uh, kinda wanting to run something by you. Y'know how we were, uh, y'know, talking before about, uh, relationships and stuff? (Uncorks the wine) Well-
Rachel: Oh God, Ross, I cannot do this.
Ross: Okay, quick and painful. (Starts to cork the wine)
Rachel: Oh God... Okay. Alright. Alright. Okay. Ross, please don't hate me.
Ross: Oh, what? What-what?
Ross: ...Yeah?
[Cut to outside the window, with Ross reacting with disbelief. The shot pans back until we see Marcel sitting on the window ledge.]
Ross: (Angry) I- I- I ca- I can't believe this. I mean, all I asked you to do was keep him in the apartment.
Ross: No, y'know what, I guess it's partially my fault. Y'know, I shouldn't've, uh, asked you to start off with a monkey. I should've started you off with like a pen or a pencil.
Rachel: (Tearfully) Ross, I'm doing everything that I can, I've got everybody looking for him, and I- (Door buzzer goes and she runs to get it) Oh! Who is it?
Ross: You called Animal Control?
Ross: Marcel is an illegal exotic animal. I'm not allowed to have him in the city. If they find him, they'll take him away from me.
Ross: That's right, I.. 'cause I didn't expect you were gonna invite them to the apartment!
Rachel: Oh, y'know what? That was a complete misunderstanding! (Ross puts his arms around her and they act all sweetness and light)
Ross: Yeah, we thought we had a monkey, but we-we didn't.
Ross: Cat!
Ross: My uncle Marcel.
[Cut to Marcel walking along a hallway. He notices a banana on the floor and picks it up. The hand of an unseen person grabs him and carries him away. Then cut to Ross and Rachel on the street outside.]
Ross: Marcel?
Ross: Marc- oh, this is ridiculous! We've been all over the neighbourhood. He's gone, he's-he's just gone.
Rachel: Ross, you don't know that.
Ross: Oh come on. It's cold, it's dark, he doesn't know the Village. (Kicks a sign in frustration) And now I have a broken foot. I have no monkey, and a broken foot! Thank you very much.
Rachel: Ross, I said I'm sorry like a million times. What do you want me to do? You want me to break my foot too? Okay, I'm gonna break my foot, right here. (Kicks the sign) Ow!! Oh! Oh my God, oh my God! There, are you happy now?!
Ross: Yeah, yeah. Y'know, now that you kicked the sign, hey! I don't miss Marcel any more!
Ross: Oh, no no no. Nono, this is just vintage Rachel. I mean, things just sort of happen around you. I mean, you're off in Rachel-land, doing your Rachel-thing, totally oblivious to people's monkeys, or to people's feelings...
Rachel: Ross.
Ross: I don't even wanna hear it, you're just...
Rachel: Ross.
Ross: Oh, forget it, okay?
Rachel: Ross!
Ross: What? What?
(Scene 4: Everyone in the hall outside Mr. Heckles' door. Ross is carrying the box of bananas. He bangs on the door)
Ross: Hi, did you order some bananas?
Ross: Gimme back my monkey.
(There is a monkey-like noise from within and Ross pushes past Mr. Heckles and enters his apartment)
Ross: Marcel? Marcel? Okay, where is he? Where is he? Marcel? Marcel?
Ross: Marcel! What've you done to him?
Ross: Are you insane? C'mere, Marcel, c'mon. (Marcel starts to go to him)
Ross: C'mere, Marcel. (Turns to Ross)
Ross: Okay, gimme my monkey back.
Ross: Alright, I want my monkey.
Ross: (To Rachel) You had to be a bitch in high school, you couldn't've been fat.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Rachel and Ross are there. Ross is trying to get the dress off Marcel.]
Ross: It'll be nice to get this off finally, won't it? Yes it will. (Marcel resists) Or we can leave it on for now, that's fine.
Ross: Listen, I'm- I'm sorry I was so hard on you before, it's just I...
Rachel: Oh, Ross, c'mon. It's my fault, I almost lost your...
Ross: Yeah, but you were the one who got him back, y'know? You, you were great. ...Hey, we uh, we still have that, uh, that bottle of wine. You in the mood for, uh, something grape?
Ross: Alright. (He goes to get the glasses. Then he hesitates and turns off the main light. Rachel looks round and he acts surprised) The, uh, the neighbours must be vacuuming. (He sits down and starts to pour the wine) Well, so long as we're here and, uh, not on the subject, I was thinking about, uh, how mad we got at each other before, and, um, I was thinking maybe it was partially because of how we, um...
Ross and Rachel: Oh!
Ross: We have got to start locking that door!
Ross: Dad, before I was born, did you freak out at all?
Ross: Okay, (to Chandler) this play, I want you to do a down and out to the right. Okay. Break!
Ross: Okay.
Chandler and Ross: Yeah.
Chandler and Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Yeah, me too.
Ross: Oh, guys, this is fun, isn't it? You know? Just the four of us. Just hangin'.
Joey and Ross: Yeah!
Chandler and Ross: Yeah!
Ross: How sad are we?
[Scene: Central Perk, its the same scene from the end of last weeks show. Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch as Ross enters.]
(Ross stops the clock, signifying the end of the lightning round.)
Ross: Oh, yeah, well y'know Chandler printed it up on his computer.
Ross: Monica and I have a grandmother who died, you both went to her funeral, name that grandmother!
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Look Im sorry Pheebs, I cant do it.
ROSS: Well, I am going to, uh... get a beverage. It was nice, nice... uh... meeting you.
Rachel: (interrupting him) No-no-no-no-no Ross! Please, come on we do not have any of the big stuff we need! We do not a changing table! We do not have a crib! We do not have a diaper service!
[cut to later, in Rosss huddle.]
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross and Susan are trying to get out.]
ROSS: You know what? You know what? If, things were the other way around, there's nothing you could put on a list that would ever make me not want to be with you.
Carol: (looking through the peephole) Ugh. (opening the door) Ross!
Rachel: Oh, please, Ross it was so obvious! It was like you were marking your territory. I mean you might have well have just come in and peed all around my desk!
Julie: Well, Ross and I were in grad school together.
RACHEL: Oh that's so cute:� Ross and Mike's first date.� Is that going to be awkward?� I mean, what are you guys going to talk about?
[Scene: Museum of Natural History. Ross enters the display where Rachel is waiting.]
[Ross runs to Rachel's bedroom, knocking on the door.]
Ross: Pheebs you uh you do know how to ride a bike dont you?
Ross: Oh! Well then this is awkward. So what do you uh
Joey: Its between us and the sea, Ross!
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Pheebs, come on, you didnt kill anybody, these people just happened to die when you went to the dentist. Its, its, its just ah, a coincidence.
Ross: Im sweeping...
Ross: Hey! Howd the ah, basketball go?
Ross: (to Emily) Hey, could you do me a favour? Could you just grab me a bottle of water?
(For the first time we see that the woman Ross is talking too is in fact the hot girl that Joey is looking for. She just kinda stares at him.)
Ross: Nothing, its just that hypnosis is beyond crap.
Ross: I wasnt sleeping.
Ross: There is no way I am letting you drive this car! So why dont you just hand over the keys?
Ross: Why? Why? I know it's a little weird, but hey, he's a great doctor, okay? He knows my medical history, and every time I go in there, he makes a big deal. 'Ah look, it's my favorite patient!'
Ross: Yknow, youre right. Thank you.
Rachel: No. Ross, it, it just seems that y'know its time we-we y'know, move on. I mean, I mean dont you think?
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is closing. Ross walks in in a uniform.]
Ross: All right, Ill see you tonight.
Ross: Catch any big fish? (Phoebe, Ross, and Monica all go over to him.)
ROSS: (on phone) Yeah, yeah, everybody's here. Hey, everybody, say hi to Julie in New Mexico.
Ross: What?
Ross: Oh, now, don't listen to him, Pheebs, I think it's endearing.
Ross: Listen, listen. Whoever you pick is gonna walk down the aisle with you! Now, I promise I won't say a word, but if you pick Chandler he's gonna be whispering stupid jokes in your ear the whole time!
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on! This is not, this is not a marriage!! This is the worlds worst hangover! Ross, listen, if you do not get this annulment, I will!
Ross: What?
Ross: (to himself) Good for a scrud.
Ross: My God!
Joey: All right, okay, now, we just have to make sure she doesnt find out some other way. (spins the chair around so that Ross is facing him) Did you think about the trail?
Ross: Im-Im not kidding. Look I-I, I cant have three failed marriages. I cant. Okay? I-I am not gonna be that guy!
Ross: (moved by the kiss) Huh...
ROSS: Look, that has nothing to do with this, ok? She's my ex-wife. If she were marrying a guy, none of you'd expect me to be there.
Ross: (getting up) Tell me about it. (He sits up on the edge of the bed and has "Just Married" written on his back.)
Ross: Hey! (Listens.) Yeah-yeah, we're just having dinner. (Listens.) Uh, yeah, sure uh hold on. (To the gang.) She wants to say hi. (To Emily) Hold on.
Ross: Okay. (Ross starts frantically looking for a clock.)
Ross: No-no, I-I have to see if this apartment became available.
Ross: Hey-hey, I thought she told you to follow the recipe exactly!
[The next one is from Episode 507: The One Where Ross Moves In.]
Phoebe: (On the phone, in New York) Uh, hello, this is Ross Gellers personal physician, Dr. Philange.
Ross: Well lets just say (singing) Rosss caaaaan!
(Ross takes big steps leaving for Joey and Rachel's apartment, where Rachel is going through her papers.)
Ross: Thats okay, Im cool over here. Ill catch up with you later, Joey. (Joey is shocked.)
Ross: Rach, thanks but uh, I don't need you doing me any favors.
Ross: That that's ridiculous! I don't feel guilty for her failures!
Ross: Yeah, I'd probably enjoy it more if you didn't keep batting my hand away.
Ross: Oh, oh, I'm, I'm, I'm sorry sweetie, I was just trying to ah, I'm dialing another number. (hangs up)
Ross: Oh-oh, youre-youre fellow scholars. What exactly were you looking for, hmm? Perhaps, (Grabs a book from the shelf behind him) perhaps Dr. Chester Stocks musings on the Smiledon Californicus?
ROSS: It's the only possibility, Phoebe.
(Phoebe jumps to the floor as Ross tackles Rachel off of the couch. Chandler helps push Rachel onto the floor by jumping over the back of the couch. Phoebe grabs Rachel's head to hold it still and opens Rachel's eye as Monica jumps onto Chandler's back to administer the torture--I mean medicine.)
(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)
Chandler: (to Ross) See buddy, that's all you need, a bunch of toothless guys hitting each other with sticks.
Ross: All right, there you go!
Ross: Yeah, okay, Scott!
ROSS: Wha, OK, now how do you know that?
Ross: So, you’re saying, uh, if I wear these pants I might be getting into hers?
Ross: That, that is funny... (to Joey).... and Rachel keeps touching him.
JOEY: Hey Ross, I'm aware of what I owe.
ROSS: Whad'ya mean?
Ross: Uhh, it was fun. We, we just had coffee.
Ross: No! No! It would be weird if we were still in that place, I mean are you still in that place?
Mr. Geller: No! Thank you! (Hugs Chandler) Monica, and Ross! I dont know what Im gonna do about the two of you!
Ross: Dont blame the questions!
Ross: Wow. Im sorry, when I was a kid I lost a bike to that. (Rachel giggles at that)
Monica: Four, please. (Ross looks at her) Im really nervous. (Ross gives her the four dogs) Thank you. (she grabs four buns, and heads back inside)
Ross: Listen, if you ever have any problem with the ladies you know Ill help you out.
Ross: Yeah.
Monica: Rosss apartment is nice! How come we don't hang out here more often?
Ross: OK. (closes eyes) I'm in my apartment...
Ross: Dude!
Ross: Oh, now you want a favour?
ROSS: I am your friend.
Ross: People can hear you.
Rachel: Nodded off!! Ross you were snoring. My fathers boat didnt make that much noise when it hit rocks!
Ross: Uh actually Joey, its the Cretasous period.
Ross: Hey!