words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Ross are eating Chinese.]
Ross: Marcel. Bring me the rice, c'mon. Bring me the rice, c'mon. Good boy. Good boy. C'mere, gimme the rice. (Marcel brings the rice) Thank you, good boy. Well, I see he's finally mastered the difference between 'bring me the' and 'pee in the'. (Rachel ignores him) 'Bring me the' and- Rach?
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Really.
Ross: Whoah, uh, what happened to, uh, 'Forget relationships! I'm done with men!' The whole, uh, penis embargo?
Ross: Wait-wait. I, I got it. I was there.
Ross: Yes. Yes. Yes! Yes, I really do! In fact, it's funny, very often, someone who you wouldn't think could-could curl your toes, might just be the one who...
Ross: ...Gets interrupted. Hi!
Ross: Alright, I've gotta go. C'mon, Marcel! C'mon! We're gonna go take a bath. Yes we are, aren't we? Yes, we are.
Ross: That's right, you're gonna spend tomorrow at Aunt Rachel's, aren't you.
Ross: 'Pwease, Aunt Monica, pwease?' Oh, unclench. You're not even gonna be there.
Ross: I'm telling you, she said she's looking for a relationship with someone exactly like me.
Ross: Well, I added the 'exactly like me' part... But she said she's looking for someone, and someone is gonna be there tonight.
Ross: Well, I think it's perfect. Y'know, it's just gonna be the two of us, she spent all day taking care of my monkey...
Ross: Anyway, I figured after work I'd go pick up a bottle of wine, go over there and, uh, try to woo her.
[Time lapse. Now everyone but Ross and Phoebe is back at Monica and Rachel's.]
Monica: Okay, you stay here, and just wait by the phone. Spray Lysol in my shoe, and wait for Ross to kill you.
Rachel: (On the phone) Okay, he's a, he's a black capuchian monkey with a white face... (Enter Ross) ...with, with Russian dressing and, and pickles on the side. Okay. Thanks.
Ross: Hey. How did, uh, how'd it go today?
Ross: Yeah. You, uh, you want some?
Ross: Uh, okay, yeah, we could do that, but before we head off to the murder capital of the North-East, I was, uh, kinda wanting to run something by you. Y'know how we were, uh, y'know, talking before about, uh, relationships and stuff? (Uncorks the wine) Well-
Rachel: Oh God, Ross, I cannot do this.
Ross: Okay, quick and painful. (Starts to cork the wine)
Rachel: Oh God... Okay. Alright. Alright. Okay. Ross, please don't hate me.
Ross: Oh, what? What-what?
Ross: ...Yeah?
[Cut to outside the window, with Ross reacting with disbelief. The shot pans back until we see Marcel sitting on the window ledge.]
Ross: (Angry) I- I- I ca- I can't believe this. I mean, all I asked you to do was keep him in the apartment.
Ross: No, y'know what, I guess it's partially my fault. Y'know, I shouldn't've, uh, asked you to start off with a monkey. I should've started you off with like a pen or a pencil.
Rachel: (Tearfully) Ross, I'm doing everything that I can, I've got everybody looking for him, and I- (Door buzzer goes and she runs to get it) Oh! Who is it?
Ross: You called Animal Control?
Ross: Marcel is an illegal exotic animal. I'm not allowed to have him in the city. If they find him, they'll take him away from me.
Ross: That's right, I.. 'cause I didn't expect you were gonna invite them to the apartment!
Rachel: Oh, y'know what? That was a complete misunderstanding! (Ross puts his arms around her and they act all sweetness and light)
Ross: Yeah, we thought we had a monkey, but we-we didn't.
Ross: Cat!
Ross: My uncle Marcel.
[Cut to Marcel walking along a hallway. He notices a banana on the floor and picks it up. The hand of an unseen person grabs him and carries him away. Then cut to Ross and Rachel on the street outside.]
Ross: Marcel?
Ross: Marc- oh, this is ridiculous! We've been all over the neighbourhood. He's gone, he's-he's just gone.
Rachel: Ross, you don't know that.
Ross: Oh come on. It's cold, it's dark, he doesn't know the Village. (Kicks a sign in frustration) And now I have a broken foot. I have no monkey, and a broken foot! Thank you very much.
Rachel: Ross, I said I'm sorry like a million times. What do you want me to do? You want me to break my foot too? Okay, I'm gonna break my foot, right here. (Kicks the sign) Ow!! Oh! Oh my God, oh my God! There, are you happy now?!
Ross: Yeah, yeah. Y'know, now that you kicked the sign, hey! I don't miss Marcel any more!
Ross: Oh, no no no. Nono, this is just vintage Rachel. I mean, things just sort of happen around you. I mean, you're off in Rachel-land, doing your Rachel-thing, totally oblivious to people's monkeys, or to people's feelings...
Rachel: Ross.
Ross: I don't even wanna hear it, you're just...
Rachel: Ross.
Ross: Oh, forget it, okay?
Rachel: Ross!
Ross: What? What?
(Scene 4: Everyone in the hall outside Mr. Heckles' door. Ross is carrying the box of bananas. He bangs on the door)
Ross: Hi, did you order some bananas?
Ross: Gimme back my monkey.
(There is a monkey-like noise from within and Ross pushes past Mr. Heckles and enters his apartment)
Ross: Marcel? Marcel? Okay, where is he? Where is he? Marcel? Marcel?
Ross: Marcel! What've you done to him?
Ross: Are you insane? C'mere, Marcel, c'mon. (Marcel starts to go to him)
Ross: C'mere, Marcel. (Turns to Ross)
Ross: Okay, gimme my monkey back.
Ross: Alright, I want my monkey.
Ross: (To Rachel) You had to be a bitch in high school, you couldn't've been fat.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Rachel and Ross are there. Ross is trying to get the dress off Marcel.]
Ross: It'll be nice to get this off finally, won't it? Yes it will. (Marcel resists) Or we can leave it on for now, that's fine.
Ross: Listen, I'm- I'm sorry I was so hard on you before, it's just I...
Rachel: Oh, Ross, c'mon. It's my fault, I almost lost your...
Ross: Yeah, but you were the one who got him back, y'know? You, you were great. ...Hey, we uh, we still have that, uh, that bottle of wine. You in the mood for, uh, something grape?
Ross: Alright. (He goes to get the glasses. Then he hesitates and turns off the main light. Rachel looks round and he acts surprised) The, uh, the neighbours must be vacuuming. (He sits down and starts to pour the wine) Well, so long as we're here and, uh, not on the subject, I was thinking about, uh, how mad we got at each other before, and, um, I was thinking maybe it was partially because of how we, um...
Ross and Rachel: Oh!
Ross: We have got to start locking that door!
Joey: I say, 'I am there!' Cool! Aw, is Ross going to?
Ross: Ahhh.
Cailin: Good bye Ross.
ROSS: Look, I know you don't want to hear this right now but, we've seen him in his new place, alright. And he's happy, he's, he's decorated.
Monica: Ross will do it.
Ross: She barely knows me. We just live in the same building.
Ross: You are, you're welling up.
Joey: Yeah, maybe its like y'know, that jock thing. Y'know how football players pat each other after touchdowns. (pats Ross on the butt)
Ross: Yes, and the dimmer switch.
Ross: Oh sure, "Ross will do it!" Its not like he has a job, or a child, or a life of his own.
[Scene: Central perk, Ross is sitting on the chair as Rachel walks in.]
CHANDLER: Can you hold on a moment? I have another call. (to Ross) I love her.
Ross: Uh, I'm not really a shot drinking kinda guy.
Ross: (excited) A Play-Dough Barber Shop?
Ross: (to the guy in the window seat next to him) Hey! Y'know that teacher who had a baby with her student? (He points at Rachel.)
Janice: Here, Ross, take our picture. (Hands him a camera and he starts snapping) Smile! You're on Janice Camera!
RADIO: The next one's dedicated to Rachel from Ross. Rachel, he wants you to know he's deeply sorry for what he did and he hopes you can find it in your heart to forgive him. (With or Without You plays)
Ross: Hi.
Guru Saj: You must be Ross.
Ross: Evidently they do.
Ross: What?! What?!
Ross: Oh God!
Ross: What was, what was that?
Ross: Ow!!
Ross: I guess its worth a try.
Ross: What?! Hows that?
Ross: No-no-no, I-I wanna play.
Ross: Fun? Where was the fun? Tell me specifically, which part was the fun part? Where's my puck?
Ross: Can I see you for a second?
ROSS: [long pause] She's not Rachel.
Ross: Ironically, most of the boxes seem to be labeled clothes.
Ross: (entering) Sorry I'm late, I was stuck at work. There was this big dinosaur.. thing.. anyway.
Ross: All right. (Reading.) A room. A man enters, he looks suspicious. (Stops reading a flips the page to find the next one is blank.) That's it? (Joey shrugs.) Joey, you're supposed to have five pages done by now! Including an exciting incident! (Flipping through the rest of the pad.) And what is, and what is all this?! (Reading.) The official rulebook of Fireball.
[Rachel is still cleaning, Ross is laying on the couch. Ross kicks Rachel in the butt.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are getting back from the lecture.]
Ross: Fine! Thank you for warning me. At breakfast Ill be on full alert for room painting and sex weapons.
Ross: Oh, well, when you don't have the cards, you don't have the cards, you know. (looks at Rachel) But, uh... look how happy she is. (smiles)
Ross: What happened?
Rachel: (entering, out of breath) Airport, airport. Ross, not alone, Julie, arm around her. Cramp, cramp.
Ross: Shh! (singing) Here we come, walkin' down the street, get the funniest looks from, everyone we meet. Hey, hey! (to Carol) Hey, uh, did you just feel that?
Ross: Joey! The vet said its a simple procedure.
Ross: (stunned) Dude, what are you doing?
All: Whoa. (they all lean in to get a closer look, Ross isn't pleased)
Chandler: Oh and Ross was like what? A lion tamer?
[Ross approaches Rachel at counter.]
Rachel: Oh, I know. Hey, yknow what we never did? (Ross looks at her.) Oh no, not that. (Ross nods okay.) We uh, we never had bonus night!
Ross: Well maybe she wouldnt have to be selfish in bed if someone else knew where everything was!
Ross: Hey, its my list.
Ross: What, what do you mean, what? Is he gay?
Ross: Okay. (Closes the door.) (To Phoebe) I did divert her and we ended up having a great time! Okay?
Ross: What? No! No, Im not stopping. Im Red Ross!
Ross: Well, then that guy is in serious, serious trouble.
Ross: All right! You go get him! Lets go!
Ross: Thats what you said last night.
Ross: Hot dog?
Ross: Hey! How long until Petes fight?
Ross: Pheebs, I think shes great. Okay? Were going out again.
Ross: No, I-Im saying I liked her.
Ross: You know, I think that�s a good idea�our babysitter just pounded in another Chardonnet. (both get up) Bye, y�guys.
(In slow motion, Phoebe snaps the ball, Rachel goes long. Joey and Chandler and all over Phoebe, leaving Rachel wide open. Ross starts to rush Monica, who sees Phoebe is double covered, in desperation she throws to Rachel. We see flying through the air, and then Rachel running underneath it, then the ball, then Rachel again, then the ball, then Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey staring at it in shock. Then with the grace of Jerry Rice (no offense to Jerry Rice), Rachel catches the ball, and she stops and spikes the ball. Both Phoebe and Monica erupt in celebration.)
Ross: Oh, somebodys feeling better.
Ross: Oh I a lot of stuff!
(We see Ross and Bonnie laughing and having a good time.)
Joey: (startled) Yeah, okay but look, buy uhHey-hey, yknow, yknow who else I like? You! And it-it doesnt get said enough. I like you Ross.
ROSS: Well, why're you all dressed up?
ROSS: No, no, let me finish.
ROSS: Check it out, he actually is the MonkeyShine monkey.
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is setting up for his time with Marcel. Joey is there.]
Rachel: (all excited) Op, op, car! Car!! (sees its Ross) Ugh!!!
Ross: Thats too bad.
ROSS: I don't know.
Ross: Go, go, go!
(Ross enters and he's really angry. He goes towards Chandler who's sitting at the counter)
(Ross suddenly gets up and heads for the bathroom.)
Ross: Yeah, ooh yeah, I think there is one from batch 17 left, uh (Grabs a cookie and takes a big bite out of it and doesnt like it.) Its batch 16! 16 people! Get out of the way! (Gets up and runs for the bathroom.)
Ross: Get away!
Rachel: Take it like a man, Ross!
ROSS: Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing, ya know, giving him away.
Ross: Stay away!
Ross: Ow! Ow! Oh, no-no-no!
Ross: Hey!
ROSS: What, woah, woah, $3500 at porcelain safari?
Ross: Oh-oh, guess what? I-I have a date with Elizabeth (Talking into Chandler's ear.) Hornswoggle.
[cut to a montage of scenes involving Bonnie, Ross, and Rachel from the last episode.]
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Thats right good things, that-that is what I said. (glances at Monica)
Ross: Well, I don't know what else to do. I mean, I either keep my wife and lose one of my-my-my best friends or I keep my friend and get divorced the second time before I'm 30! So-so if anyone has-has a better suggestion, let's hear it! 'Cause I-I got nothing! All right, don't be shy, any suggestion will do. (There are none.) Okay then. Here we go. Magic 8 Ball, should I never see Rachel again? (He turns it over and reads the answer) Ask again later. Later is not good enough. (He shakes it up again and reads the answer.) Ask again later. What the hell! This is broken! It-it is broken!
Ross: Oh.
Ross: Well, hes finally alseep. About that ah, bump on his head?
Ross: Hey! (Rachel is shocked) Hi Bonnie!
Ross: (looking at ticket) Yep! Yeah, see this says D-13, and uh
Chandler: Okay, well Im gonna get Ross, get the cameras, and get them developed. (Joey laughs again.) 32 Joe. Youre 32! (Exits)
Ross: Good morning.
Ross: Oh hey, dont thank me, thank yourself. Youre the one who faced her fears and ultimately overcame them.
Ross: Nah ah! Nah ah! (stops him form doing so) No no no! No ad-libbing and dude, you can't touch the paintings.
Ross: Hi.
Chandler: Yknow that thing that Ross was gonna do at our wedding?! He was hanging out with me yesterday and he turned to me and said, "Youre half Scottish right?"
Ross: Im sorry Im late, did I miss anything?
Ross: You still love me?
Ross: What?