words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe enters to see Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel tearfully watching TV.]
ROSS: What're you talkin' about?
ROSS: Yeah but Phoebs, what about the end?
CHANDLER: Yeah, Ross can't go so it's between my friend Eric Prower who has breath issues and Dan with the poking. [starts poking Monica in the shoulder] 'Did you see that play? Do you want some more beer? Is that Spike Lee?'
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is holding Ben.]
ROSS: [smells Ben's butt] No no, you're fine, you're fine.
ROSS: Hi.
ROSS: Oh you guys are not gonna believe what happened.
ROSS: Ok, we were sitting over there playing on the floor and he grabs the table and he pulls himself up. He pulled himself up. Standing man. I'm sorry you guys missed it but I did tape it so it you guys want to see it.
ROSS: I don't believe this. I miss, I miss the first time of everything. I missed, what, the first time he rolled over, the first time he crawled. What else did I miss? Has he spoken yet, is he driving, does he have a favorite liquour?
ROSS: Ooh, I, I'm so sick of missing stuff. Ya know, I want him for more than, than a day, I want him for a whole weekend. No listen , I mean, I feel like-
ROSS: Really? I mean, I, I had a whole speach prepared.
ROSS: Oh look, did, did you just see that? Did you see? He just waved, he just waved, he's never waved before, you've never waved before. Yes he has. Very good.
ROSS: Well, ya know, they're a little behind the times in Colonial Williamsburg.
ROSS: Buy mommy.
ROSS: Have a good time. Ok, Ben.
MONICA: Ross.
ROSS: Yeah.
ROSS: Well for starters, you may want to light it and lose the spatula.
ROSS: Look it's the artist formerly known as Chandler.
ROSS: Yeah, you really sidestepped that land mine.
ROSS: Thank you.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is working. Ross enters with Ben.]
ROSS: Hi, we're visitiing. It's Ben and his da-da. Da-da. Can you say da-da? Look, I'm gonna tell your momies you said it anyway so you might as well try.
ROSS: Naa. A while ago I got a sah out of him, which I thought, ya know, might turn into sah-condary caregiver but... Hey, would you uh, would you hold him for a sec, 'cause I, I gotta take this off.
ROSS: What're you doing?
ROSS: Yeah, well, he's a baby not a bomb.
ROSS: Well just hold him like you'd hold a football.
ROSS: Ok, here, here. There we go.
ROSS: It's alright, it's no big deal.
ROSS: Yeah, definitely, I'm sure you'll feel totally different when it's our baby.
ROSS: What?
ROSS: Uhh, yeah. I mean, actually I kinda think that we'll have, we'll have two babies.
ROSS: Yeah. Ya know, a boy and a girl. Hopefully the girl will come first so Ben here won't feel too competitive.
ROSS: Well, we won't wanna raise kids in the city so we'll probably move to uh, Scarsdale.
ROSS: Yeah, that way I figure, ya know, we'll be far enough away from our parents that we don't have to see them all the time but close enough that they can come over and babysit whenever we want. And yes, I know, the taxes are a little higher than, let's say, Nassau county but the school system's supposedly great.
ROSS: Huh?
RACHEL: Yeah well, Ross just made plans for the whole century.
ROSS: [enters] Ok, what the hell happened back there?
ROSS: Well I'm sorry, I think about stuff. Ya know, I mean, you're at work, you're assembling bones, your mind wanders.
RACHEL: Ross, you have planned out the next 20 years of our lives, we've been dating for six weeks.
ROSS: C'mon, what, you never think about our future?
ROSS: No, no, I mean, ya know, I, I read a book and there was a girl named Emily and I thought, I thought that might be good.
ROSS: The big book of childrens' names.
RACHEL: Ok, Ross, Ross, ok listen, what we have is amazing.
ROSS: Yeah.
ROSS: Ok fine.
ROSS: We're not done.
ROSS: Ok, then you're gonna have to understand that you're with a guy who's not gonna stop planning his future with you because he knows that we're gonna end up together and if that scares you, tough, 'cause you're gonna have to deal with that.
ROSS: Good, 'cause I love you.
ROSS: Yeah.
ROSS: Well that's the first time we've said that.
ROSS: Well, I'm gonna kiss you.
ROSS: Ok, and then you take the poopie diaper and you put it in the poopie diaper pail.
RACHEL: Ok Ross, just so you know, calling it a poopie diaper doesn't make this process any cuter.
ROSS: [doorbell buzzes] Hello.
ROSS: Come on up. I'm gonna get the rest of his stuff together. [walks in his room]
RACHEL: I'm sorry, what did you just say? Did you just say hi? Oh my God, Ross, Ross, Ben just said 'Hi'.
ROSS: Wha, what?
ROSS: What, the word hi?
ROSS: Great, great, and I miss that too, I miss everything.
ROSS: Something about hi.
ROSS: Well, this was fun. Uh, we should really do it again sometime, wha'dya say? Ok. Alright so I've got him.
ROSS: Tuesday right. Ok, bye you guys.
ROSS: Bye Ben.
ROSS: Alright, alright, ok. Bye.
ROSS: Bye.
ROSS: Bye.
ROSS: Bye.
Gary: Ross!
Mona: Hi! Hi. Hi, Rachel! (to Ross) Whats she doing here?
Ross: My friend Bethel rescued him from some lab.
Ross: You need me to go down there with you and hold your hand?
Ross: What is it?
Ross: Wow, uh, Joey that's-that's great. Thanks man.
Ross: What? What? What? What is it?
Ross: Uh-huh. (Phoebe grunts.)
Ross: Uh-huh. Thank Joey!
Rachel: I would love to live with you Ross; thats-thats great! Thank you!
Joey: (To Ross) You okay man?
Ross: All right! All right! It was the best nap ever!
Ross: Well, Im-Im just glad I could, yknow, help you out.
[Phoebe turns back around but Rachel is gone. Ross enters.]
Ross: (coming back in) Did you say something?
Gary: (To Ross) Okay, go ahead.
Ross: Wow! I could've died tonight.
Ross and Joey: Bye!
Ross: She was blonde? (he looks surprised for a while, but then gets a "gotcha" expression on his face... There's knocking at the door.) Just a sec.! Okay, okay. This one's name is Sandy. She's got a degree in early childhood education, uhm... she worked for her last family for three years.
Ross: (getting angry) That said it was my sandwich?!
ROSS: Humm, that sounds, I don't, perfect.
Ross: That's okay, Joe.
Phoebe: Wow! Im-Im so happy for you guys. (To Ross) This is so-so, not stupid.
Ross: You talked to her?
Ross: Wow!
Ross: Okay, look, yesterday I would've even considered calling her back, but my ex-wife calls on the same day I have a near death experience. I mean, that-that has got to mean something!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is complaining about Carol.]
Ross: Well, okay, what-what did she say?
Ross: Huh.
Ross: I cant believe in four weeks theyre gonna be married!
Ross: Oh, be-because of the leather pants.
Joey: No, come on Ross! (He grabs his bag so he cant leave) Look, Ross, we have to get past this.
Ross: (on machine) "Hey Ross, it's you!" (Hits the stop button) Oh yeah, no that's-that's an old message, nobody needs to hear that.
Ross: We, we just decided to uh, to go for it.
Ross: (entering, downtrodden) Hi.
Ross: Someone at work ate my sandwich!
Ross: And for the record, it took two people to break up this relationship!!
(Ross is stunned.)
Ross: Oh, ah, you dont need that.
Ross: Hero, I uh, I dont knowwell, all right.
Joey: Yeah, hero sandwiches. (Points at Ross who points back.)
Ross: Nevermind! (Goes back to his mailbox.)
Ross: And she just gave you this?
Ross: (barely containing himself at this point) Well, you have fun tonight.
Ross: Oh no-no-no, Im there.
Ross: Are you serious?!
Ross: (looks at his watch) 2:17.
Joey and Ross: No.
Ross: I dont think you had an open mind about the name Ruth. I mean, come on, little Ruthie Geller, how-how cute is that?
Ross: Yeah, no one talks like that!
Joey and Ross: Yeah!
ROSS: [uncomfortable] Good, so everybody's here. Everybody's good. So, were you gonna play something, Phoebe?
Ross: What-what is it?!
Ross: (to Caitlin) Hey uh, y'know that smell gas has?
Ross: Who the hell is Jordie?
Ross: Yeah? How much?
Ross: ON A CAT??!!!!
Ross: Wow! I thought you would be a little more shocked.
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: What?
Ross: I know! (Looks at the ball in his hands.) Don't switch hands, okay?
Ross: Uhh, yeah it would! Let's do it!
Ross: I dont know, I told her it was stupid to put off the wedding just because the hall was gone and she liked flipped out.
Ross: Yknow what I think it is? I think youve made such a nice home for her over the last nine months that she just doesnt want to leave.
ROSS: I, I know it's big, I just didn't know it was uh, ha-ha big.
Ross: Well, who's gonna kiss my sister.
Ross: Lady, he is people. He has a name, okay? He watches Jeopardy! He he touches himself when nobody's watching. Please, please have a heart!
Ross: How do you know? You don't have a watch.
Emily: No, no, no Ross! Ross, these are friends of mine from home. (Introducing them) Liam, Devon, this is Ross.
Rachel: Pheebs, I would make a reservation for five, because one of us has to stay home and watch Emma. (to Ross:) Which one of us should go to dinner?
Ross: Hey Rach!
Ross: Monica, whatever you do, do not drop that ball!
Ross: 2 hours, 27 minutes.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Well, her thought is, and I agree, fresh new furniture, why not a fresh new apartment? Her cousin has this great place to sublet, it's got a view of the river on one side and Columbia on the other.
Ross: Okay, theres this guy, Warren, from the museum and hes going on a dig for like two years and hes got this great place he needs to sublet. So uh, you interested?
Ross: Yes! Were getting married?!
Ross: Yeah, it's, it's, it's cute. Why, why, why does he have it, again?
Ross: Yeah. (He does so and Phoebe hugs him.)
Ross: (he bounds into the lounge room) But you didn't! I'm still alive!! Kori, I know this is a big surprise for you. It's a long story but the things you just said really made my day! I mean, the fact that you are here means more to me than if this room were filled with people!
Rachel: Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mommy... Please? Please laugh for mommy... (Rachel makes a funny face, sticking her tongue out, making a farting noise and using her hands as antlers, wiggling her fingers... No response from Emma...) Not funny huh? Oh so, is it... only offensive novelty rap? Or maybe just, you know, rap in general? 'Cause mommy can rap... (Rachel tries to rap and makes weird movements with her arms in the process.) My name is mommy and I'm here to say / that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap... Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody... (Rachel's face is telling "Oh what am I doing? The things I have to go through... and she starts to rap) I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face... (Emma starts to laugh) Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! (Rachel now really gets into it, and her insecure movements start getting better) I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo... (Rachel picks up Emma and Ross now enters)
Ross: Yeah, he-hes right, hes right. This is your time y'know, yeah, youre young, youre-youre weird, chicks dig that.
Ross: Anyway, they want me to go down to this- sonogram thing with them tomorrow.
Chandler: If you clear things up with Rachel then Ross never needs to find out, but you have to do it now before he hears about it and kicks your ass!
Monica: Mira, Ross, Marcel se llevo el control remoto. (Look, Ross, Marcel's got the remote.)
Ross: Oh hey, Gary, want me to grab the berry for ya?
Ross: Oh, thank God!
Ross: I am!
Monica: Now, Mom, everything's going fine, really. (Listens) Yeah, Ross is great. He's uh, he's in a whole other place. (Listens) No, he's gone. (Listens) No no, you don't have to fly back, really. (Listens) What do you mean this might be your only chance? (Listens) Would you stop? I'm only 26, I'm not even thinking about babies yet.
Ross: Come on Rach, you dont have what, ten minutes?
Chandler: (With the covers pulled up to his chin.) Morning, Ross.
(Ross turns to look at Joey.)
[Scene: Jen's apartment, Ross is picking her up for their date.]
Joey: Look Ross, I am so-so sorry. I-I-I
Ross: Oh God, here we go!
Ross: What's going on?
Ross: Wow! You look nice. What's the occasion?
Joey: Hey Ross listen Chandler got you out of going to the lesbian sandwich museum this weekend!
Ross: It's really a uh-uh three person game, y'know?
Ross: No! No! I didnt do that. Its just Okay, honestly no. I dont, I dont see a big future with her.