words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe enters to see Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel tearfully watching TV.]
ROSS: What're you talkin' about?
ROSS: Yeah but Phoebs, what about the end?
CHANDLER: Yeah, Ross can't go so it's between my friend Eric Prower who has breath issues and Dan with the poking. [starts poking Monica in the shoulder] 'Did you see that play? Do you want some more beer? Is that Spike Lee?'
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is holding Ben.]
ROSS: [smells Ben's butt] No no, you're fine, you're fine.
ROSS: Hi.
ROSS: Oh you guys are not gonna believe what happened.
ROSS: Ok, we were sitting over there playing on the floor and he grabs the table and he pulls himself up. He pulled himself up. Standing man. I'm sorry you guys missed it but I did tape it so it you guys want to see it.
ROSS: I don't believe this. I miss, I miss the first time of everything. I missed, what, the first time he rolled over, the first time he crawled. What else did I miss? Has he spoken yet, is he driving, does he have a favorite liquour?
ROSS: Ooh, I, I'm so sick of missing stuff. Ya know, I want him for more than, than a day, I want him for a whole weekend. No listen , I mean, I feel like-
ROSS: Really? I mean, I, I had a whole speach prepared.
ROSS: Oh look, did, did you just see that? Did you see? He just waved, he just waved, he's never waved before, you've never waved before. Yes he has. Very good.
ROSS: Well, ya know, they're a little behind the times in Colonial Williamsburg.
ROSS: Buy mommy.
ROSS: Have a good time. Ok, Ben.
MONICA: Ross.
ROSS: Yeah.
ROSS: Well for starters, you may want to light it and lose the spatula.
ROSS: Look it's the artist formerly known as Chandler.
ROSS: Yeah, you really sidestepped that land mine.
ROSS: Thank you.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is working. Ross enters with Ben.]
ROSS: Hi, we're visitiing. It's Ben and his da-da. Da-da. Can you say da-da? Look, I'm gonna tell your momies you said it anyway so you might as well try.
ROSS: Naa. A while ago I got a sah out of him, which I thought, ya know, might turn into sah-condary caregiver but... Hey, would you uh, would you hold him for a sec, 'cause I, I gotta take this off.
ROSS: What're you doing?
ROSS: Yeah, well, he's a baby not a bomb.
ROSS: Well just hold him like you'd hold a football.
ROSS: Ok, here, here. There we go.
ROSS: It's alright, it's no big deal.
ROSS: Yeah, definitely, I'm sure you'll feel totally different when it's our baby.
ROSS: What?
ROSS: Uhh, yeah. I mean, actually I kinda think that we'll have, we'll have two babies.
ROSS: Yeah. Ya know, a boy and a girl. Hopefully the girl will come first so Ben here won't feel too competitive.
ROSS: Well, we won't wanna raise kids in the city so we'll probably move to uh, Scarsdale.
ROSS: Yeah, that way I figure, ya know, we'll be far enough away from our parents that we don't have to see them all the time but close enough that they can come over and babysit whenever we want. And yes, I know, the taxes are a little higher than, let's say, Nassau county but the school system's supposedly great.
ROSS: Huh?
RACHEL: Yeah well, Ross just made plans for the whole century.
ROSS: [enters] Ok, what the hell happened back there?
ROSS: Well I'm sorry, I think about stuff. Ya know, I mean, you're at work, you're assembling bones, your mind wanders.
RACHEL: Ross, you have planned out the next 20 years of our lives, we've been dating for six weeks.
ROSS: C'mon, what, you never think about our future?
ROSS: No, no, I mean, ya know, I, I read a book and there was a girl named Emily and I thought, I thought that might be good.
ROSS: The big book of childrens' names.
RACHEL: Ok, Ross, Ross, ok listen, what we have is amazing.
ROSS: Yeah.
ROSS: Ok fine.
ROSS: We're not done.
ROSS: Ok, then you're gonna have to understand that you're with a guy who's not gonna stop planning his future with you because he knows that we're gonna end up together and if that scares you, tough, 'cause you're gonna have to deal with that.
ROSS: Good, 'cause I love you.
ROSS: Yeah.
ROSS: Well that's the first time we've said that.
ROSS: Well, I'm gonna kiss you.
ROSS: Ok, and then you take the poopie diaper and you put it in the poopie diaper pail.
RACHEL: Ok Ross, just so you know, calling it a poopie diaper doesn't make this process any cuter.
ROSS: [doorbell buzzes] Hello.
ROSS: Come on up. I'm gonna get the rest of his stuff together. [walks in his room]
RACHEL: I'm sorry, what did you just say? Did you just say hi? Oh my God, Ross, Ross, Ben just said 'Hi'.
ROSS: Wha, what?
ROSS: What, the word hi?
ROSS: Great, great, and I miss that too, I miss everything.
ROSS: Something about hi.
ROSS: Well, this was fun. Uh, we should really do it again sometime, wha'dya say? Ok. Alright so I've got him.
ROSS: Tuesday right. Ok, bye you guys.
ROSS: Bye Ben.
ROSS: Alright, alright, ok. Bye.
ROSS: Bye.
ROSS: Bye.
ROSS: Bye.
Joey: Ross. I was thinking we could just go down the fire escape. (Points it out.)
Ross: Yknow what? I think I can take care of myself, Ill talk to you later. Good-bye. (Hangs up the phone and turns to find Jill sitting really close to him.) Whoa! Uh, that was your sister actually. She-she thinks that youre just using me.
Ross: Yeah, little change in plans. Ahh, were gonna break-up instead.
Ross: ...I'll go. Let's start with the way he kept picking at- no, I'm sorry, I can't do this, can't do this. We loved him.
(Ross goes to call her.)
[Scene: The hospital, Ross and Monica are in Phoebes room. Phoebe is in the bathroom and Monica notices smoke coming out from underneath the door.]
Ross: You didn't want to share your tomatoes, tomatoes are very important to you.
Ross: Hi! Its me.
Ross: Whos that?
[Scene: San Diego Zoo. Ross and the janitor are in the nocturnal house.]
Ross: Ah, thats okay, thanks.
PHOE: [seeing Ross kissing Julie outside the window] Ooh, oh, Rachel, don't look.
Ross: Oh, no, no.
Ross: (to Chloe) I like this song.
Ross: (to Joey) Oh no, she took down Monica... And I'm the crier in the family. Oh God! I could be next. Maybe she won't talk with me if it looks like we're deep in converstation. Oh, so that thing you said about the thing. It really made me think about that other thing.
Ross: Okay, its not, its not.
Ross: Chandler?! You brought Chandler?! The next best thing would be Monica!
Ross: Is this about Mark?
Sandy: What is it...? (Ross hesitates) Please...? (he tilts his head)
Ross: All right that's, that's it!! Get off her!
Ross: (on the phone) Ive been thinking, this is crazy, I mean dont, dont you think we can work on this?
Ross: Whos that?
Ross: Yeah, why is it staring at me? I think it knows Im talking about it. (Rachel starts to peek at the file) Dont-dont youWhWhaHey!!
Ross: Yeah, but I got cous-cous!
Ross: Is that Mark?
[Scene: Rosss Kitchen, Ross is taking some aspirin and checking his messages.]
Ross: Thats crap!! Sister Brown Bird. (to Elizabeth) Good going. (does the salute)
Ross: And then, you try to make the best of a bad situation, so you float the idea of a threesome?
Ross: Yeah!!
Ross: I love you.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Yeah, oh hey, you are right on time.
Ross: Chandler!!! Chandler!!! (He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.) Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here!
Ross: I know, I know I really like you too. But we-we cant date. Its against the rules. Its forbidden.
Ross: Yes, you can, very much.
Chandler: (entering) Hey, you guys! Hey, Ross, quick question for ya. Are you ready to party?
Ross: She's having lunch with him. She's having lunch with him. And you should of seen the hug she gave him when she got the job. And, and, and, (to Joey) he's really good looking. (Joey gives an enthusiastic thumbs up) What am I gonna do?
Ross: Well, I wanted to be thorough. I mean this-this is clearly very, very important to you, to us! And so I wanted to read every word carefully, twice!
Ross: Yeah, but dont you think....
Ross: What trail?
Ross: Phoebe, forget it, okay? Newark is - is like an hour away. There's no way we're gonna make it in time.
Ross: Oh, I-I dont think theres any trail.
Ross: (stopping grinding) Pepper?
Ross: Cause Carols a lesbian. (Phoebe is shocked) And, and Im not one. And apparently its not a mix and match situation.
Ross: You took my watch?
Ross: Yeah, thats the one. Listen, I dont want to hurt her.
ROSS: Oh, oh, you're... uh... you're, oh you're the date.
Ross: Right.
Ross: Very bad.
Ross: No, were not!!
Ross: Yes, I did.
Ross: Actually, no, were not.
Ross: Yeah. Listen, can you keep this information to yourself?
Ross: Thank you, thank you.
Rachel: Theyre not!! Ross, theyre just saving them for the important people!! Okay?! What-what if I was the president?!
Ross: Postpone it? Emily, do you think Monica realises how much our parents spent on this wedding? Do you my sisters teeny-tiny little brain comprehends that people took time out of their lives to fly thousands of miles to be here, huh? (He puts his pants on backwards.) This isnt right.
[Scene: Mr. Geller's party. Mr. Geller and a friend are questioning Richard while Ross observes.]
Ross: Rachel?
[Scene: Carol and Susan's, Ross is preparing to talk to her belly.]
Rachel: Ross, you had sex with another woman!
Ross: Bye! Hey, I hope Emma isn't making it too hard on you.
Ross: You are totally jealous.
Ross: No, hey, I get that, okay, I get that big time. And Im happy for ya, but Im tired of having a relationship with your answering machine! Okay, I dont know what to do anymore.
Ross: No!!
Ross: No!! No!! I wanna stay. I wanna talk about this.
Ross: What?
Ross: She was...
Ross: She, she was different.
Phoebe: (looking in the window) Right, oh yeah. Wow, oh, it looks like Ross is breaking up with her. Uff, I hope he lets her down easy. Lets go.
Ross: No, just give me another minute.
Ross: Yeah, uh, except for the red sock, which is still red. I'm sorry, please don't be upset, it could happen to anyone.
Ross: (entering) Hey.
Ross: Just one uh, one additional relationship thought. Probably something your already familiar with, uh, women talk! (smacks Chandler over the head with a magazine)
Ross: Wheres Ben?
Ross: Ah! (realises) Oh.
Ross: Yeah, well.
Ross: Its a good thing I didnt do it, because it sounds like it wouldve been a very expensive wedding. (Rachel laughs) Okay, good night
Ross: Yeah, but Im your brother. Were family. Thats the most important thing in the world.
Ross: Oh yeah, Id love that.
Ross: Absolutely. (Turns back to the woman next to him.) So, twins... hah! Thats like two births. (He struggles again.) Ouch.
[They look over at Russ and Ross.]
(Chloe gives Ross the thumbs up while still standing behind the door.)
Chandler: Thats a bad duck!!! (to Ross) Howd the thing go tonight, Ross?
Ross: Pheebs? What, why are you whispering?
[Rosss beeper goes off.]
Ross: So, Phoebs owes $7.50, Monica, you owe $10, and Rachel, you owe fifteen big ones.
Ross: Yeah, youre right.
ROSS: Yeah, what're you guys doin' here, aren't you supposed to be Christmas shopping?
[Ross drives up.]
Ross: (sarcastic) And you made it through that? I wonder who's gonna play you in the movie!
Ross: Uhh No.
Ross: Excuse me?
Ross: Me too. I'm good at it.
Ross: Youre welcome.
Ross: We were on a break!
Ross: Okay.
Rachel: Y'know Ross why dont you put that on your answering machine!
Ross: Obviously not to Joey.
Ross: I can.
Ross: No, Monicas restaurant got a horrible review in the Post. (They all gasp.) I didnt want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find. (He hands the paper to Phoebe and they all read it.)