words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is sitting on the chair, and theyre all talking.]
Ross: She seems really, really fun!
Ross: What?!
Ross: So thats two of my wives.
Joey: Well, Im sorry. I thought parents were coming! Yknow? Your parents are comin! Chandlers parents are comin! Rosss parents are comin!
Monica: Rosss parents are my parents!
Rachel: So Joey I just hooked Ross and Chandler up with some tuxedos for the wedding, do you need one?
Phoebe: To Ross.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch reading as Ross enters carrying a garment bag.]
Ross: Hey! Guess what I got for your wedding! (Holding up his garment bag.)
Ross: No. Rachel hooked me up with a tux! But not just any tux, Batmans tux!
Ross: Thats right! Made expressly for Val Kilmer and worn by him in the hit film that Batman film he was in.
Ross: So?
Ross: Well, you need something to make this day special? Hello! You-you-you have the most special thing of all! You are marrying the woman you love.
Ross: Pretty please? Not very uh, 007.
Ross: When I got married you slept with my sister.
Chandler: Ross is Batman!
Chandler: Rachel got Ross the tuxedo that Val Kilmer wore in Batman. Okay Batman is so much cooler than James Bond!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are working on the seating chart as Ross enters carrying his tux around.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Yes. I find it to be something of a conversation piece.
Ross: Gunther. (To Chandler) Hey-hey! Why dont we put them on? Yknow get a picture of Batman and James Bond together.
Ross: Well that stinks. I was looking forward to us wearing our celebrity tuxes together.
Ross: What are you kidding? Its Batmans tux!!
Ross: Okay, but just the jacket. Double-oh and seven are not gettin in there.
Ross: What?
Ross: Let me see that! (Grabs the invitation and reads it.) Oh man!
Ross: Spring vacation.
Ross: (entering, wearing a white suit with a little red bow tie) Hey, you guys! Guess what?
Rachel: I mean Ross all that does is remind us that you are interested in fossils.
Ross: Well, you know what... I-I'm sorry I'm the only one who isn't in love with Gary Poppins out there... But I just... I can't... I can't go through with this.
Ross: Shame on you! Ugly baby judges you!
Ross: (pushing Elizabeth into a doorway) Burt!
[Scene: Ugly Naked Guy's apartment, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are checking out the place. Luckily, Ugly Naked Guy is nowhere to be seen.]
[Scene: Central Perk, continued from earlier, Ross is handing Rachel a cup of coffee.]
Ross: You? You! Want to watch Ben? (in the background Monica mouths Dont worry, Ill be here the whole time. to Ross.) Yes! Thatd be great, no, I just wanted to ask Monica, because I know how empty her life is. (Monica sarcastically mouths Yeah! and holds up her thumb.)
Ross: Uh well umm were just not in that place, yknow? But were very excited about this.
(They start to fight with Ross pulling on Chandlers ears and Chandler hitting Ross over the head with his carrot.)
Ross: (enters) It's me. Ron. (Mr. Zellner looks annoyed) Look, I um, I now Rachel turned you down but I think there is a way you might be able to get her to come back.
(With that we go into a little flashback about the guys memories of the duck. The first one is Joey playing with him in the bathtub and drying him off. Then its Chandler sitting on his couch after they moved into the girls apartment, and Chandler reading to him in bed, and him watching Baywatch when all they had was the canoe and the duck was in a bucket of water. Then we see Ross eating some cereal and the duck watching him. He takes a lamp and moves the duck off of the table. Then its Chandler shooing them out of the bathroom in the girls apartment, Joey revealing their disco cubby hole in the entertainment-center, then Chandler playing Hide-and-Go-Seek with them, and its concluded with various scenes with the duck flapping its wings. And the guys staring into the distance in remembrance of the duck.)
Ross: Yours, I just got 43 points for 'KIDNEY'.
Ross: One night, just-just sex. No strings attached?
Ross: We are having a baby together, but were not involved. (The cashier, a very beautiful woman, looks confused) I mean, uh we-we were seeing each other a while ago, but then we were just friends. And then there was one drunken night. (Rachel looks at him angrily) Or, yes stranger, wed like this delivered please.
Ross: Well, um, actually, I-I took her to the planetarium. Thats-thats where we had our first date. Um, she walked in and I had the room filled with lilies, her favorite flower
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is lamenting to Chandler and Rachel about his troubles in his new building.]
Ross: Powder! Yeah! Yeah, I have powder! (Grabs some of her shelf.)
Chandler: (to the two guys) Excuse me. (Chandler and Ross move away from them). That didn't make us sound gay at all!
Rachel: Just washing the windshield. (She turns on the wipers forcing Ross off of the hood.)
Ross: Oh come on, we just had this huge fight, all right, dont I have to wait a while?
Ross: (checks his watch) We can still catch that Ukrainian film.
Ross: (on tape) Yeah. (Pause) Anyway umm, it probably worked out for the best.
Joey: Yknow I blame Ross for this.
Ross: I know, but ahhhhhh!! I really wanna go up there and finish that kiss!
Russell: Yes, this Russell, Rosss divorce lawyer, just tell him that since I havent heard from him, I assume hes decided to give the marriage a try.
Ross: (opens the door and to Whitney) Hi! Im sorry, but can you give me a second while I talk to this woman, who by the way did not spend the night.
(Suddenly from out of nowhere Ross dives onto the hood.)
Joey: Hey Ross, this is one of my co-stars, Dirk. (To Dirk) Dirk, this is my good friend Ross. (Ross and Dirk shake hands)
Rachel: And so I had a lot of work to do so Ross, nice guy that he is, offered to help me out. And then we had a little wine, we got to talking, and the next thing you know out of nowhere Ross comes on to me.
(Ross and Rachel gasp)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is wearing sunglasses and as he exits his bedroom, Ross enters the apartment.]
Ross: You had a rough day, uh?
Ross: (remembering) Oh God.
Ross: Yeah, well, does he look upset? Does he look like he was just told to shove anything?
[Scene: Monicas Hotel Room, Chandler and Monicas parents and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Ross: Ok, ok, here we go. (he crouches down near her stomach) Ok, where am I talking to, here? I mean, uh, well, there is one way that seems to offer a certain acoustical advantage, but...
Ross: All right, that’s it, I’m getting out of here.
Ross: Rachel! Well, you-youre not at home, youre-youre-youre right here.
Ross: Well what is it? Is it a mole? (He moves closer to them, and they jump back.)
Ross: No... I already e-mailed her.
Ross: What? What?! You were begging me to kiss you! You-you-you were sending me signals all over the place!
Ross: Whoa-hello! We were closer with the mixed tape.
Ross: Oh! Got em right here, (Pats his coat pocket) check!
Ross: With the belly-button ring? Oh, muhawa!
(Joey, Monica, and Ross all point to their lips to get Rachel to once again notice the ink on her lip.)
ROSS and CHANDLER: [both enter looking down] Hhhiiii.
Ross: Oh, it was good! It was good. Actually, the baby started kicking!
RACHEL: Oh Ross, would you stop, you got me, I'm dating you.
JOEY: They're ribbed for your pleasure. [Ross and Monica trade their gifts.]
Ross: Its from France In Europe Western Europe. Yknow umm, a few years ago I actually was backpacking across Western Europe.
Ross: Yeah. Listen about that, the whole uh, who came on to who thing really doesnt matter. I mean, I think it wouldve happened either way. I mean if you hadnt initiated it I-I-I know I wouldve.
Parker: No, no, no wait! Dont tell me. Let me guess. (Points as he says their names) Joey, Monica, Ross, Rachel and, Im sorry Phoebe didnt mention you. (Chandler makes a face) Chandler, Im kidding all ready youre my favorite!
[Ross and Judy enter the living room. Judy and Ross sit down on the couch beside Jack. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the coffee table.]
Charlie: Me too. (she and Benjamin are hugging for very long and Ross starts pretending to clear his throat, until they stop)
Ross: Because I am bored...Out of my mind. Ive already been to the bank, post office, and the dry cleaners.
Ross: What can I do, she doesnt listen to me about renters insurance either.
Ross: (does so) Oohh, 23. (Rachel looks at him.) Which is what we play to at this casino! You win 10 dollars! (Holds out a ten.)
RACHEL: (to Ross) Ok.� So now, I think Emma is probably down for the night, but if you need anything Ross . . .
Ross: She says as time goes on, he's gonna start getting agressive and violent.
Ross: (takes Chappy from Mike) Well, I guess I'm in the wedding then. Ha haaa... (smells Chappy) He stinks!
Joey: Hey, so, uh, hows it going living over at Ross?
Ross: (glaring at him) Joey, please! (Motions to his computer.)
Ross: Oh well, it sounds to me like your family is ready to uh, rediscover its Scottish roots.
Ross: (goes over to Julio) Come here, here, come here, come here, (pause) Mrs. Buffay. Sorry, about what I said, umm, it was, it was insensitive of me to say that you were just a cat. When clearly you are also the reincarnated spirit, of my friends mother.
ROSS: I'm gonna get a new band-aid. Hey, how 'bout the time I cut the legs off your Malibu Ken?
ROSS: Wait hold on Tony, hold on. [answers second line] Hello. Hi, yeah no, she's right here. Um hold on. [gets first line] Hi Tony, can I call you back? That's uh, that's my sister's boyfriend.
Ross: (returning with the coffee) Okay here we are Paul, Elizabeth. (He sets down their cups.) So I hope you guys were finding something to talk about.
Ross: Itll be okay Joe.
Ross: Tag? Y-You're going? (Comes over to Tag) Uh we didn't, uh we didn't get the chance to talk. Uh, so, where did you say you're from again?
Ross: Yeah, oh and Sarah... I'd like to introduce you to my colleague, uh, Professor Wheeler, a-and this is Joey Tribbiani.
(Everybody stands up and applauds. Ross looks flattered and surprised. His friends and other members of the audience go to congratulate him)
Ross: (entering from the bathrooms) Hey Chandler, what are you doing tonight?
Ross: You're crazy.
Ross: Well, I asked him if he wanted to eat, he said, "No." I asked him if he wanted to sleep, he said, "No." I asked him what he wanted to do, he said, "No." So, hes sweeping. (We see Ben playing with a broom and a dustpan.)
(Ross leaves to do so and Rachel enters with a guy.)
Ross: I'm just sayin' if dogs do experience jet lag, then, because of the whole um, seven dog years to one human year thing, then, when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles, he doesn't just lose three hours, he loses like a week and a half.
Ross: OK, ahem, hey, does anybody know a good place if you're not dating a puma?
Ross: Hmm? (Turns around and sees that its Elizabeth) Oh, a student I dont know.
Ross: No-no, he's, he's very docile.
Ross: Ok, fine, but I don't want them bonding to much. I don't want her telling Emma she needs a nose job.
PHOEBE: Well, you kind of just did.� That guy is going to call you tonight.� Ross is going to pick up the phone and that's a pretty clear message.
Phoebe: Dont be worried about that! Your tombstone can say whatever you want it to say! It could say, Ross Geller, Good at Marriage! Yknow? Mines gonna say Phoebe Buffay, Buried Alive.
Ross: Sweetie, this conversation is starting to make me a little uncomfortable.
ROSS: But wait, there's more. Hey, Chandler, what is in the envelope?
[Scene; Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are on the couch. Ross walks in.]
[Time lapse. Ross is now clearly drunk. He is holding up a shot glass to his eye like a jeweller's eye.]
Rachel: Oh Amy, don't cry Amy. Um.. Ross, could I talk to you in private?
Chandler: Where's Ross?
Ross: Hey you guys I got some bad news. (He sets the stack of papers down on the table.)
Ross: Nah, I dunno... I think you reach a certain age, having a roommate is kinda pathe- (Realises) ....sorry, that's, that's 'pathet', which is Sanskrit for 'really cool way to live'.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, time lapse, Ross is massaging out a cramp on Rachels hip as Marc opens up the privacy screen.]
Monica: (Offering Ross the skull) Licorice?
PHOEBE: I don't believe this. Is this how this relationship's gonna work? Ross equals boss. I mean, c'mon what is this, 1922?
Ross: (only half-paying attention) Yes, of course they like you!
(At this point, Chandler walks into the living room from his bedroom. Ross and Joey both have their backs to him, so they don't notice. Chandler sees the situation and remains quiet, watching.)
Ross: Yeah, obvious beauty's the worst. You know, when it's right there in your face. Me, I like to have to work to find someone attractive. Makes me feel like I earned it.
Rachel: Ross, tonight was about the two of you getting along. (Ross groans and rubs his neck) Oh, would you just see my chiropractor, already.
Ross: OK, turn around. (Joey looks taken aback) I just don't want you staring at me when I'm doing this.