words in movies
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: What are you guys doing later?
Ross: (continuing) I just found out that Elizabeths dad wants to meet me.
Ross: Come on guys, I-I really want this guy to like me. It-it would really help me out if you guys were here to make me look good.
Ross: Thanks!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is at the counter drinking coffee as Elizabeth enters with her dad, Paul. Elizabeth goes to kiss Ross, but he just kisses her on the forehead. By the way Paul is played by Bruce Willis. Yes, that Bruce Willis from Moonlighting, Die Hard, and Armageddon.]
Elizabeth: This is my father, Paul Stevens. Dad, this is Ross Geller.
Ross: It-its great to meet you Paul.
Ross: Of course, of course, Mr. Stevens.
Paul: So Ross, what your problem?
Ross: Eh-whExcuse me?
Ross: Thats funny. Umm . (Pause, then serious) Its not funny.
Paul: I dont like you going out with my daughter Ross.
Ross: Okay. I can, I can see that. Umm, but I think if you give me umm, one chance I can, I can change your mind.
Ross: What?
Paul: Okay. Ill give you one chance to change my mind. (Ross laughs in relief) You got one minute. (Ross suddenly gets worried.)
Ross: This isyou(Ross starts laughing.)
Ross: Okay, umm I want you to know that I have never done anything like this before. I mean, I mean Ive been in um, relationships in general, uh but I have never done it with a studentI mean I notnot it! I mean, I mean I dontWe havent done it. Uh, I mean, I mean, weve-weve-weve done stuff. (Paul is not amused.) Okay, okay, a joke, a jokelighten the mood. Umm, two guys go into a bar. One of them is Irish.
Ross: And the Irish guy wins the joke!
Monica: Ross!!
Chandler: Ross!
Ross: Oh God, thank you! (Runs and gives all of them a group hug.) Umm, uh, Mr. Stevens Id like you to meet my friends uh, this is Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler.
Ross: Okay umm, why dont we all take a seat, yknow? And uh, and Ill get us all some uh some coffees(He goes to pull out Elizabeths chair, but Paul steps in)Yeah, why dont you. (Paul pulls out her chair) Uh and you guys can talk about whatever, whatever you want. Yknow? Whatever pops into your head. (He turns his back to Paul and Elizabeth and points to himself for Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe. Then he goes to order the coffee.)
Monica: Yknow, it is so strange seeing Ross here this time of day, cause usually hes got the childrens hospital.
Elizabeth: So uh, Monica is Rosss sister.
Chandler: But uh Ross, Ross is a great guy! I was roommates with him in college. Uh, funny story (He starts laughing then notices that Paul isnt happy.) Youre roommate in college died didnt he?
Ross: (returning with the coffee) Okay here we are Paul, Elizabeth. (He sets down their cups.) So I hope you guys were finding something to talk about.
Rachel: Oh! Ross is sooo great!
Rachel: Paul. Umm, I just wanted you to know that Ross really is a great guy.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is entering looking for Joey, but instead he finds Paul and Rachel making out on the couch.]
Ross: Joey?!
Paul: Hi Ross.
Ross: Joey?! Joey!! (He runs into his bedroom.)
Rachel: Ross, Joey is not here.
Ross: Okay, Ill just wait for him in here!
Rachel: Ross, its okay. You can come out.
Paul: Yeah Ross its okay, its me, Mr. Stevens.
Ross: (coming out of the bedroom) Oh! Oh my God! I didnt even see you!
Paul: Ill call you later. Bye Ross. (Leaves)
Ross: What-what-what thehow da-how did-what the-how did-what?!
Ross: (incredulous) In your mouth?!
Ross: You were at the coffeehouse!
Rachel: Ross, whats the big deal? So I kissed the guy!
Ross: He is my girlfriends father, okay? Its-its, its weird!
Ross: That was different!
Ross: This is weird for me!
Rachel: Ross look, look this is good for you. Okay? Lets face it, so far the guys not lovin ya! But I can turn that around! I got the inside track! We can all go out to dinner, yknow? And I can talk you up! Ross, the guy is a very, very successful lawyer!
Ross: How is that important?
[Scene: A Restaurant, Ross and Rachel are on their double date. Rachel is busy talking Ross up.]
Rachel: So it seemed that my prom date had stood me up, so Ross selflessly, offered to take me.
Paul: So Ross was in college and decided to jump at the chance to take a young girl to her high school prom.
Ross: Yeah, take your time.
Ross: (to Paul) Just-just so you know I was a freshman and she was a senior. So it wasnt as bad as-as
Paul: Ross, look, I know Ive been giving you a lot of jabs and its partly because Im very protective of Lizzie, and partly because well, they just keep coming to me. But I have to admit that after all the wonderful things that Lizzie has told me and the many, many, (pause) many stories that Rachel has told me that, well (pause) youre not (pause) all bad.
Ross: Not all bad.
Ross: Yeah. You know what? I know what you mean; I do that too.
Ross: No! No! NotI dont mean I-I see her as a twelve-year-old girl! I mean I-I have a son, whos umm six and I still think of him as a baby.
Ross: Yeah, well my-my ex-wife and I share custody of Ben and umm, uh, and just so you know, Carol and I are on excellent terms as Im sure you are with your wife! (Realizes) Oh, Im sorry! (To Elizabeth) Its unbelievable!
Ross: Youre back.
(Ross slams his head down on the table.)
[Scene: A Restaurant, Rachel is still trying to talk up Ross, not to much success.]
Rachel: I mean if you think about it, I mean Ross did learn something from each marriage.
Rachel: Now wait a minute thats not fair. He was married to me a hell of a lot longer than he was married to Emily, he just didnt tell me. (Everyone looks at her, Ross not happily.) Maybe I have to pee again. (Gets up to try to use the bathroom.)
Paul: Well, this is fun. So Ross, did you kill any of these wives?
Ross: Yknow what? I-I-I I-I have had enough of this! Yknow, I-I-I care a great deal about your daughter and I have treated her with nothing but respect! So if-if youve got a problem with me, frankly
Ross: God no!
Elizabeth: Yknow what daddy? If you dont like Ross, thats fine. It doesnt matter to me, Im gonna go out with him anyway.
Ross: Well if it doesnt matter to her, it doesnt matter to me! (to Paul) Still not yelling!
Paul: Wow. What can I say? (Pause, pointing at Ross) This doesnt make me like you any better!
Ross: Thats okay, Im not so crazy about myself right now either.
Ross: Uh yeah, I guessYeah! I guess so.
Paul: Neither of us like Ross!
Elizabeth: I like Ross.
Ross: Ohhh! Kids!
Rachel: (returning) Wait-wait-wait, I just thought of another story about how nice Ross is!
Ross: Thats okay Rach, were not liking Ross right now.
Ross: Well, hello, Mrs. Ross! (Throws some rice.)
Ross: Not that it's any of your business, but we did go out.
Ross: My foot is stuck in the pocket.
Ross: So, uh, why did you have to turn it down?
Ross: So, Dr. Green, hows the old boat.
Ross: (checks) Yeah.
Ross: Why are we in bed together?
Ross: Maybe I should get another pair! Ooh, y'know, they-they had some with fringe all down the sides. (Chandler starts rubbing his temple again.) I'm gonna go kiss Ben goodnight. (He starts to head for Monica's bedroom.) I can't believe he thinks I'm a cowboy. (Pause.) I would make a good cowboy. (He struts into Monica's room.)
Ross: And we didnt have sex.
Ross: Hey Pheebs, how's it going?
Ross: (clinking a wine glass) Can I have everyones attention please? Im uh; Im Ross Geller.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: What?
Ross: Yeah!
(Paolo enters. Ross, Phoebe, and Monica scatter)
(Rachel turns to Ross stunned.)
Ross: What?
Ross: Laugh it up, but the jokes on you. Because we dont need to get divorced, okay? We were just gonna get an annulment.
Burt: (another professor) Wow! It looks like you were very generous with your grades this semester! (Ross frantically starts to change some as a female student, Elizabeth, approaches.)
Ross: Yeah? Sometimes it's (Does the fist thing.)
[Scene: Hotel's bar. Ross is running to Charlie trying not to be seen with two cocktails in his hands. She's hidden behind a huge plant]
Ross: Okay! Ho-ho! We did not steal your thunder because we are not getting back together!
Ross and Rachel: Goodnight.
Joey: Who's your friend? He's hot! (Ross laughs and Rachel smacks him with her purse.)
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, actually um, I wanted to talk to you about that whole annulment thing?
Ross: Seriously that's a lot of cups.
Ross: Yes, exactly!
Ross: Well, it was loong. I didnt even realise how late it was, until I noticed the 5 oclock shadow on her head. (They both start to laugh, then stop themselves quickly.) Anyway, she didnt want to stay. I called a cab; she just left.
Ross: Well, Carol says she and Susan want me to be involved, but if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have to be involved.. basically it's entirely up to me.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Are you sure? Because I can stay out as late as you want. I told you how I'm on sabbatical from work, right?
Rachel: Ohh wow! Im sorry, but Ross you kicked off your shoes!
Ross: What?! Over a stupid room!
(Ross turns and leaves.)
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
(Rachel, Monica, Ross and Chandler whip around for a second time, in formation.)
Ross: Oh no, yeah no, that parts great!
Ross: A loser you did it with (To the salesman) 298 times!
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Is that funny? Am I supposed to be laughing?
Ross: Oh yeah, why not?
Ross: Whats all this about you guys fighting?! Is this really over a room?! I mean, that is so silly!
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Oh yeah, why not?
Ross: Come on. (Helps her into bed as her phone rings.) I got it.
ROSS: Ooh, I, I'm so sick of missing stuff. Ya know, I want him for more than, than a day, I want him for a whole weekend. No listen , I mean, I feel like-
Ross: I know.
Phoebe: Ross?!
Ross: So uh, any ideas for the bachelor party yet?
(The sitcom begins with its familiar refrain, yet with a Latin lilt. Rachel and Monica do a little dance with their chopsticks, and Phoebe has to grin as Ross joins in the rhythm.)
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there, Ross is telling a story about what happened at work and the rest of the gang are thinking to themselves, denoted by italics.]
Monica: Ross, we can handle this.
Ross: I know. My arm is killing me.
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Ross, Chandler, and Joey are there eating pizza.]
Ross: Hey! Hi!
Ross: Whats up?
Ross: OK, I need to lie down.
Ross: Bye.
Ross: Oh yeah? Have you ever dated anyone who has been divorced three times?
Ross: What?! Why?
Ross: Y'know, it-it doesn't matter. The important thing is that you're here. You're my friend, and you're here. Oh! (He goes over and hugs her.)
Ross: I wanna go talk to Rachel for a minute, are you gonna be okay alone for a bit?
ROSS: [puts the message in the cupboard] I don't know, I don't get, I don't get it, I mean, wh, wh, two months ago Rachel and I were like, this close. Right now, what, I'm takin messages from guys she, she meets at the movies? I mean this, this Casey should be takin' down my messages, ya know, or, or, Rachel and I should be together and, and we should get some kind of me, message service.
Chandler: (to Ross and Monica) What if Joey were president?
Ross: Whoa-whoa-what? You found a place?
Ross: No, hey, well, I-I completely understand. You were, you were stressed.
Ross: What?!
Ross: A little? Your place looks like page 72 of the catalogue. Oh look at that! The ornamental bird cage! Large!
Ross: Yknow what? I-Im not even gonna talk about this. Okay? This little thing is over. I know you have a girlfriend! Okay(Ned looks shocked)Yeah! And I know about the other professors! How do you think that makes me feel Ned?! You used me! You dont love me and you never did! (Ross turns around to make a grand exit but runs into two colleagues.) Ah Professor Winston, Professor Fredrickson, Ill be right with you. (To Ned) Dont make this worse and Ill give you a C. (To the professors) Shall we? (They leave.)
Ross: Okay I-I just have to stop by my place first.
Joey and Ross: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Let her dangle.
Monica: All right, Ill take one box of the mint treasures, just one, and thats it. I-I started gaining weight after I joined the Brown Birds. (to Ross) Remember, how Dad bought all my boxes and I ate them all?
Ross: You haven't by any chance chosen a groomsman yet, have you?
Ross: (British) Come again? Whats-whats this nonsense? (Giggles.) (American.) All right, Im-Im not English. Im from Long Island. I was really nervous and the accent just uh, just came out. Im sorry. So, if we could just get back to the lecture. Umm, were there any questions? (Everyone raises their hands) About paleontology. (They all put their hands down.) All right, look I was just trying to make a good first impression. Obviously, I screwed up. But what you guys think of me is really important because Im-Im hoping to get a permanent job here. So if you just give me another chance to make a good impression
Ross: Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. (A woman emerges from the toilet behind him and he tries to pretend he was in the other one)
Ross: And why wouldn't he get it?
Ross: Yes.
[cut to Ross in Vermont, talking on the phone.]
Ross: But it absolutely didnt. (Yelling towards the bathroom) It didnt!! It didnt!!
Ross: Cookies and porn, youre the best mom ever!!
Ross: Easy.
Ross: No problem.
Ross: I think just the annulment for today.
Rachel: She wants to move in with me and Ross to help take care of the baby.
Carol: Oh God, Ross I am so sorry.
Ross: Wow! This is so amazing. I uh, I really thought Id have to talk you into this more.
Ross: Oh no.
Ross: And Mon, you wanna live with Chandler, dont ya?
Ross: I couldnt.
Ross: Oh myCome here! Come here! (He hugs her.) Its okay. Everythings gonna be okay.
Carol: (knocking on the door) Ross!
Ross: Ohh, whats wrong?!
(Joey and Monica look at each other and shrug. Ross enters with Marcel on his shoulder)
Ross: I didnt get the annulment.
Ross: Of course.
Ross: So unbelievable. She was supposed to meet me half an hour ago with Emma. (he tries to take a cookie but Monica slaps his hand)
(Ross suddenly realizes something.)
Joey: Oh-oh, what about Ross?
Ross: (getting angry) Umm-hmm.