words in movies
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: What are you guys doing later?
Ross: (continuing) I just found out that Elizabeths dad wants to meet me.
Ross: Come on guys, I-I really want this guy to like me. It-it would really help me out if you guys were here to make me look good.
Ross: Thanks!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is at the counter drinking coffee as Elizabeth enters with her dad, Paul. Elizabeth goes to kiss Ross, but he just kisses her on the forehead. By the way Paul is played by Bruce Willis. Yes, that Bruce Willis from Moonlighting, Die Hard, and Armageddon.]
Elizabeth: This is my father, Paul Stevens. Dad, this is Ross Geller.
Ross: It-its great to meet you Paul.
Ross: Of course, of course, Mr. Stevens.
Paul: So Ross, what your problem?
Ross: Eh-whExcuse me?
Ross: Thats funny. Umm . (Pause, then serious) Its not funny.
Paul: I dont like you going out with my daughter Ross.
Ross: Okay. I can, I can see that. Umm, but I think if you give me umm, one chance I can, I can change your mind.
Ross: What?
Paul: Okay. Ill give you one chance to change my mind. (Ross laughs in relief) You got one minute. (Ross suddenly gets worried.)
Ross: This isyou(Ross starts laughing.)
Ross: Okay, umm I want you to know that I have never done anything like this before. I mean, I mean Ive been in um, relationships in general, uh but I have never done it with a studentI mean I notnot it! I mean, I mean I dontWe havent done it. Uh, I mean, I mean, weve-weve-weve done stuff. (Paul is not amused.) Okay, okay, a joke, a jokelighten the mood. Umm, two guys go into a bar. One of them is Irish.
Ross: And the Irish guy wins the joke!
Monica: Ross!!
Chandler: Ross!
Ross: Oh God, thank you! (Runs and gives all of them a group hug.) Umm, uh, Mr. Stevens Id like you to meet my friends uh, this is Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler.
Ross: Okay umm, why dont we all take a seat, yknow? And uh, and Ill get us all some uh some coffees(He goes to pull out Elizabeths chair, but Paul steps in)Yeah, why dont you. (Paul pulls out her chair) Uh and you guys can talk about whatever, whatever you want. Yknow? Whatever pops into your head. (He turns his back to Paul and Elizabeth and points to himself for Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe. Then he goes to order the coffee.)
Monica: Yknow, it is so strange seeing Ross here this time of day, cause usually hes got the childrens hospital.
Elizabeth: So uh, Monica is Rosss sister.
Chandler: But uh Ross, Ross is a great guy! I was roommates with him in college. Uh, funny story (He starts laughing then notices that Paul isnt happy.) Youre roommate in college died didnt he?
Ross: (returning with the coffee) Okay here we are Paul, Elizabeth. (He sets down their cups.) So I hope you guys were finding something to talk about.
Rachel: Oh! Ross is sooo great!
Rachel: Paul. Umm, I just wanted you to know that Ross really is a great guy.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is entering looking for Joey, but instead he finds Paul and Rachel making out on the couch.]
Ross: Joey?!
Paul: Hi Ross.
Ross: Joey?! Joey!! (He runs into his bedroom.)
Rachel: Ross, Joey is not here.
Ross: Okay, Ill just wait for him in here!
Rachel: Ross, its okay. You can come out.
Paul: Yeah Ross its okay, its me, Mr. Stevens.
Ross: (coming out of the bedroom) Oh! Oh my God! I didnt even see you!
Paul: Ill call you later. Bye Ross. (Leaves)
Ross: What-what-what thehow da-how did-what the-how did-what?!
Ross: (incredulous) In your mouth?!
Ross: You were at the coffeehouse!
Rachel: Ross, whats the big deal? So I kissed the guy!
Ross: He is my girlfriends father, okay? Its-its, its weird!
Ross: That was different!
Ross: This is weird for me!
Rachel: Ross look, look this is good for you. Okay? Lets face it, so far the guys not lovin ya! But I can turn that around! I got the inside track! We can all go out to dinner, yknow? And I can talk you up! Ross, the guy is a very, very successful lawyer!
Ross: How is that important?
[Scene: A Restaurant, Ross and Rachel are on their double date. Rachel is busy talking Ross up.]
Rachel: So it seemed that my prom date had stood me up, so Ross selflessly, offered to take me.
Paul: So Ross was in college and decided to jump at the chance to take a young girl to her high school prom.
Ross: Yeah, take your time.
Ross: (to Paul) Just-just so you know I was a freshman and she was a senior. So it wasnt as bad as-as
Paul: Ross, look, I know Ive been giving you a lot of jabs and its partly because Im very protective of Lizzie, and partly because well, they just keep coming to me. But I have to admit that after all the wonderful things that Lizzie has told me and the many, many, (pause) many stories that Rachel has told me that, well (pause) youre not (pause) all bad.
Ross: Not all bad.
Ross: Yeah. You know what? I know what you mean; I do that too.
Ross: No! No! NotI dont mean I-I see her as a twelve-year-old girl! I mean I-I have a son, whos umm six and I still think of him as a baby.
Ross: Yeah, well my-my ex-wife and I share custody of Ben and umm, uh, and just so you know, Carol and I are on excellent terms as Im sure you are with your wife! (Realizes) Oh, Im sorry! (To Elizabeth) Its unbelievable!
Ross: Youre back.
(Ross slams his head down on the table.)
[Scene: A Restaurant, Rachel is still trying to talk up Ross, not to much success.]
Rachel: I mean if you think about it, I mean Ross did learn something from each marriage.
Rachel: Now wait a minute thats not fair. He was married to me a hell of a lot longer than he was married to Emily, he just didnt tell me. (Everyone looks at her, Ross not happily.) Maybe I have to pee again. (Gets up to try to use the bathroom.)
Paul: Well, this is fun. So Ross, did you kill any of these wives?
Ross: Yknow what? I-I-I I-I have had enough of this! Yknow, I-I-I care a great deal about your daughter and I have treated her with nothing but respect! So if-if youve got a problem with me, frankly
Ross: God no!
Elizabeth: Yknow what daddy? If you dont like Ross, thats fine. It doesnt matter to me, Im gonna go out with him anyway.
Ross: Well if it doesnt matter to her, it doesnt matter to me! (to Paul) Still not yelling!
Paul: Wow. What can I say? (Pause, pointing at Ross) This doesnt make me like you any better!
Ross: Thats okay, Im not so crazy about myself right now either.
Ross: Uh yeah, I guessYeah! I guess so.
Paul: Neither of us like Ross!
Elizabeth: I like Ross.
Ross: Ohhh! Kids!
Rachel: (returning) Wait-wait-wait, I just thought of another story about how nice Ross is!
Ross: Thats okay Rach, were not liking Ross right now.
Ross: Okay.
Rachel: Y'know Ross why dont you put that on your answering machine!
Ross: Obviously not to Joey.
Ross: I can.
Ross: No, Monicas restaurant got a horrible review in the Post. (They all gasp.) I didnt want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find. (He hands the paper to Phoebe and they all read it.)
Ross: Okay, Ive got three of my five.
Ross: Right. (Exits.)
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Okay.
Ross: I know!
Ross: That would be great.
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Im telling you. Im telling you. Thats what it is. No wonder she was looking at me all funny during the wedding. She didnt say anything to you?
Rachel: (to Ross) Whats your problem?
Ross: (looks angrily at Joey and points at him) I swear to God...! (Joey is in shock)
[Scene: The Banquet Room, Ross and Chandler are in their tuxes and have started to fake the pictures.]
Ross: Here you go.
Ross: Okay, Joey, you know what? You have to go for it. How often does this happen to you, huh? You owe it to yourself.
Ross: Whos this little guy? (Gasps when he sees Aaron.)
Rachel: Oh, Im not doing it alone. I have Ross.
Ross: (slowly) Yeah. But you know what? I think you should give Joey a chance. I mean, he's a great guy, and sure he doesn't know that much about art but you know, you can always talk about that with someone else.
Ross: Check this out. Five hundred and seventeen boxes!
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
Ross: Is that supposed to be an insult?
Ross: Really? Did you count Mississipily?
Ross and Joey: No.
Ross: Come here, come here. Uh, (He takes the earring out.) ow! Emily, will you marry me?
Ross: Why aren't you guys dressed?
Joey: You can totally tell! Here look, watch me. (He stands up and turns his back to them so that he is facing the window.) Smile! Frown. Smile! Frown. (The camera cuts to Ross outside hanging up the phone.) Smile! (Ross turns around and sees Joey alternately smiling and frowning and just stares at him for a second and heads back inside.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross is sitting on the couch reading a magazine as Mona enters.]
ROSS: Uh, just a sec dad. [to himself] OK, be cool, just be cool. [walks down the stairs and grabs the flowers out of the vase on the endtable] OK dad.
Ross: It didnt.
Ross: No the mans right, thats what I had with Rachel.
Ross: Yeah, yeah.
Ross: Oh, no! No!
Ross: Yes. I mean, its what we always planned. And if you have a plan, you should stick to it. Thats why they call them plans. Hello? (Pause) Im fine.
Phoebe: Well then, (to Ross) what about you?! Huh?!
Ross: (entering) Chloe? Hi..
Ross: Oh my God, you've got a crush on your sister's stalker.
Rachel: Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby�s sock is on the ground.
Ross: No, I mean its okay, I mean, theyre-theyre my friends. In fact, I-I-I was married to one of them.
Ross: (putting out the fire with a squeeze bottle of water) Okay, thats a fire. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Now wait a minute, you be nice! All right? I didnt bring you here so you can ambush her.
Ross: We were on a break!!! Okay!! (grabs the phone) We were, we were..., (calms down) yeah. Where are you? Ill find you. (hangs up)
Ross: Yes, I suppose I am a dog. But Issac, see I-I happen to have a girlfriend.
Rachel: Ross, what are you talking about? (she sees the cake) oh! Oh my God! They put my baby’s face on a penis!
Ross: (breaking the hug) Ohh, I gotta go to the flower store! (Runs to the door.) Check it out, no one will tell me where Emily is, so I'm gonna send 72 long-stem, red roses to Emily's parent's house, one for each day that I've known and loved her. That oughta get her talking to me again.
Ross: but you, your so much better off you just go from guy to guy having fun and never worrying that it terns into anything serious.
[Scene: Rosss Classroom, he is writing on the board and Alan is coming in to see him.]
Ross: Listen, Im ah, Im sorry Ive been so crazy and jealous and, its just that I like you a lot, so...
Ross: Oh, no, no, no, I will! I just want to butter her up, first! You know, Im going to take her to an amazing Valentines dinner. Do all this romantic stuff, and then, just when she thinks Im the best boyfriend in the world, then Im going to tell her that my pregnant ex-girlfriend is living with me.
Ross: But, um... I don't think that's going to be you.
Ross: Yknow what? I-I gotta go. (Starts to leave.)
Ross: Still?!
Ross: Alright, alright, maybe it'll take my mind off it. Do you promise to buy me a big thumb finger?
Ross: Alright, I've gotta go. C'mon, Marcel! C'mon! We're gonna go take a bath. Yes we are, aren't we? Yes, we are.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Ross are sitting on the couch nervously.]
Rachel: Oh wait, Ross, would you just stay and help me get dressed?
Ross: Well Im sorry but, that-thats really not my problem.
Ross: (entering) Hello.
Rachel: Ross, shes gonna start getting ready soon!
Ross: Hi.
Ross: What?!
Ross: Yes.
Ross: Yes, I do.
Ross: Well, the old lady died. And how do I know? Her dying wish was for one last kiss. But I dont care, (To Rachel) because you got the apartment. Yes!
Ross: Wow, did not know that! May I say how lovely you look today?
Ross: Is this about Mark?
Ross: Petty...
Ross: Its still a gift! I got it from the gift shop!
Ross: Petty...
Ross: Petty...
Ross: Look, you guys, you guys should go. (Joey tries to say something, but Ross cuts him off.) No, Im, you, you planned this all out, and I dont want to ruin it, so you guys should just go.
Ross: No, it's good, it is good, it's just that- mm- doesn't she seem a little angry?
Ross: Well, see? So, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea, y'know, me kissing your mom, uh? Huh? (Wags his finger at Chandler, then puts it down) But.. we don't have to go down that road.
Ross: Oh, yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah...
Ross: (on phone) Hi, is Rachel there?
Ross: Now, how will they know if youre ready?
Ross: Look Chandler, Monica is really weird about this kind stuff all right. Believe me, I lived with her for 16 years. She is going to freak out. Oh my God, she's going to sit on you.
[Cut to Elizabeth Hornswoggle's bathroom, Ross frantically pulls his shirt out and drops his pants. He exhales in sheer ecstasy as the coolness of the bathroom envelops his legs. He sits on the cast iron bathtub, again gasping in pleasure. He next grabs a magazine and starts to blow air on his exposed legs, but that doesn't work the way he wants it to. So he throws the magazine down, looks around for another idea, and finds one. He jumps up and hops to the sink. He turns on the water and starts to splash some on his legs, cooling them further.]
Ross: You ah, wanted to see me?
Ross: You bug me.
[Joey walks back inside just as Rosss dance is finishing.]
Ross: Yeah. (Gets up, but then pauses when he realizes what that meant.)
Ross: Shes going in. Wait! Hes going in! Hes going in!! The doors closed! I, I cant see anything but the door closed!!
Ross: Okay, I have to do something. I mean, I have, I have to stop it!
Ross: Real magic does exist.
Ross: Hey, its been like three weeks!
Ross: Yeah, okay.
Ross: I was thinking more like a hundred.
Ross: Yeah well if, if, if Mark said that, than Mark's an idiot.
Ross: So I finally heard back from Aunt Sheryl and apparently it wasnt a mistake. Ahh, theres-theres limited seating in the hall.
Ross: Pity food? Y'know what thats okay, all right, I dont need any of you to stay, okay nobody stays.
Ross: Dude, don't worry 'bout it! I know how we can make your money back! This is a nice hotel, you know, plenty of amenities, we just load up on those! Like those apples. Instead of taking one, I'm... I take six!
Ross: All right, I gotta take off. I'm picking up Ben then we're off to the big audition.
Ross: Oh-ho please. Ask her how?
ROSS: How 'bout from now on we just call it the 'unfortunate incident'? [Rachel walks off] Hey Gunther, you got stairs in your place?
ROSS: (seeing her also) Yeah, 'cause life's just that kind.
(A beautiful woman walks by Ross, he stares at her.)