words in movies
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: What are you guys doing later?
Ross: (continuing) I just found out that Elizabeths dad wants to meet me.
Ross: Come on guys, I-I really want this guy to like me. It-it would really help me out if you guys were here to make me look good.
Ross: Thanks!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is at the counter drinking coffee as Elizabeth enters with her dad, Paul. Elizabeth goes to kiss Ross, but he just kisses her on the forehead. By the way Paul is played by Bruce Willis. Yes, that Bruce Willis from Moonlighting, Die Hard, and Armageddon.]
Elizabeth: This is my father, Paul Stevens. Dad, this is Ross Geller.
Ross: It-its great to meet you Paul.
Ross: Of course, of course, Mr. Stevens.
Paul: So Ross, what your problem?
Ross: Eh-whExcuse me?
Ross: Thats funny. Umm . (Pause, then serious) Its not funny.
Paul: I dont like you going out with my daughter Ross.
Ross: Okay. I can, I can see that. Umm, but I think if you give me umm, one chance I can, I can change your mind.
Ross: What?
Paul: Okay. Ill give you one chance to change my mind. (Ross laughs in relief) You got one minute. (Ross suddenly gets worried.)
Ross: This isyou(Ross starts laughing.)
Ross: Okay, umm I want you to know that I have never done anything like this before. I mean, I mean Ive been in um, relationships in general, uh but I have never done it with a studentI mean I notnot it! I mean, I mean I dontWe havent done it. Uh, I mean, I mean, weve-weve-weve done stuff. (Paul is not amused.) Okay, okay, a joke, a jokelighten the mood. Umm, two guys go into a bar. One of them is Irish.
Ross: And the Irish guy wins the joke!
Monica: Ross!!
Chandler: Ross!
Ross: Oh God, thank you! (Runs and gives all of them a group hug.) Umm, uh, Mr. Stevens Id like you to meet my friends uh, this is Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler.
Ross: Okay umm, why dont we all take a seat, yknow? And uh, and Ill get us all some uh some coffees(He goes to pull out Elizabeths chair, but Paul steps in)Yeah, why dont you. (Paul pulls out her chair) Uh and you guys can talk about whatever, whatever you want. Yknow? Whatever pops into your head. (He turns his back to Paul and Elizabeth and points to himself for Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe. Then he goes to order the coffee.)
Monica: Yknow, it is so strange seeing Ross here this time of day, cause usually hes got the childrens hospital.
Elizabeth: So uh, Monica is Rosss sister.
Chandler: But uh Ross, Ross is a great guy! I was roommates with him in college. Uh, funny story (He starts laughing then notices that Paul isnt happy.) Youre roommate in college died didnt he?
Ross: (returning with the coffee) Okay here we are Paul, Elizabeth. (He sets down their cups.) So I hope you guys were finding something to talk about.
Rachel: Oh! Ross is sooo great!
Rachel: Paul. Umm, I just wanted you to know that Ross really is a great guy.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is entering looking for Joey, but instead he finds Paul and Rachel making out on the couch.]
Ross: Joey?!
Paul: Hi Ross.
Ross: Joey?! Joey!! (He runs into his bedroom.)
Rachel: Ross, Joey is not here.
Ross: Okay, Ill just wait for him in here!
Rachel: Ross, its okay. You can come out.
Paul: Yeah Ross its okay, its me, Mr. Stevens.
Ross: (coming out of the bedroom) Oh! Oh my God! I didnt even see you!
Paul: Ill call you later. Bye Ross. (Leaves)
Ross: What-what-what thehow da-how did-what the-how did-what?!
Ross: (incredulous) In your mouth?!
Ross: You were at the coffeehouse!
Rachel: Ross, whats the big deal? So I kissed the guy!
Ross: He is my girlfriends father, okay? Its-its, its weird!
Ross: That was different!
Ross: This is weird for me!
Rachel: Ross look, look this is good for you. Okay? Lets face it, so far the guys not lovin ya! But I can turn that around! I got the inside track! We can all go out to dinner, yknow? And I can talk you up! Ross, the guy is a very, very successful lawyer!
Ross: How is that important?
[Scene: A Restaurant, Ross and Rachel are on their double date. Rachel is busy talking Ross up.]
Rachel: So it seemed that my prom date had stood me up, so Ross selflessly, offered to take me.
Paul: So Ross was in college and decided to jump at the chance to take a young girl to her high school prom.
Ross: Yeah, take your time.
Ross: (to Paul) Just-just so you know I was a freshman and she was a senior. So it wasnt as bad as-as
Paul: Ross, look, I know Ive been giving you a lot of jabs and its partly because Im very protective of Lizzie, and partly because well, they just keep coming to me. But I have to admit that after all the wonderful things that Lizzie has told me and the many, many, (pause) many stories that Rachel has told me that, well (pause) youre not (pause) all bad.
Ross: Not all bad.
Ross: Yeah. You know what? I know what you mean; I do that too.
Ross: No! No! NotI dont mean I-I see her as a twelve-year-old girl! I mean I-I have a son, whos umm six and I still think of him as a baby.
Ross: Yeah, well my-my ex-wife and I share custody of Ben and umm, uh, and just so you know, Carol and I are on excellent terms as Im sure you are with your wife! (Realizes) Oh, Im sorry! (To Elizabeth) Its unbelievable!
Ross: Youre back.
(Ross slams his head down on the table.)
[Scene: A Restaurant, Rachel is still trying to talk up Ross, not to much success.]
Rachel: I mean if you think about it, I mean Ross did learn something from each marriage.
Rachel: Now wait a minute thats not fair. He was married to me a hell of a lot longer than he was married to Emily, he just didnt tell me. (Everyone looks at her, Ross not happily.) Maybe I have to pee again. (Gets up to try to use the bathroom.)
Paul: Well, this is fun. So Ross, did you kill any of these wives?
Ross: Yknow what? I-I-I I-I have had enough of this! Yknow, I-I-I care a great deal about your daughter and I have treated her with nothing but respect! So if-if youve got a problem with me, frankly
Ross: God no!
Elizabeth: Yknow what daddy? If you dont like Ross, thats fine. It doesnt matter to me, Im gonna go out with him anyway.
Ross: Well if it doesnt matter to her, it doesnt matter to me! (to Paul) Still not yelling!
Paul: Wow. What can I say? (Pause, pointing at Ross) This doesnt make me like you any better!
Ross: Thats okay, Im not so crazy about myself right now either.
Ross: Uh yeah, I guessYeah! I guess so.
Paul: Neither of us like Ross!
Elizabeth: I like Ross.
Ross: Ohhh! Kids!
Rachel: (returning) Wait-wait-wait, I just thought of another story about how nice Ross is!
Ross: Thats okay Rach, were not liking Ross right now.
ROSS: Maybe you should look up "fascinating."
Ross: (taking the flyer) Apparently Phoebes mother also goes by the name Julio.
ROSS: Oh God.� (He hugs Rachel)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Rachel and Phoebe enter.)
Ross: ...nauseous, I'm physically nauseous. What am I supposed to do, huh? Call immigration? (pauses, looks suddenly inspired) I could call immigration!
[Scene: Ross and Rachels I guess I have to call it that now. Rachel is reading on the couch as Ross enters.]
ROSS: (holds up the message) Uh, Rach.
ROSS: Hey you guys.� (He sits.)
Ross: Oh my God! Rach-Rach, are-are-are you sure?
[Rachel, seeing what he did for her, gets up, walks across the room, and kisses Ross]
Ross: You're really not coming back?
Ross: I can't get *enough* dinosaurs!
Ross: Do you realise that man has cried in our apartment three times...? Huh? I haven't cried that many times since I moved in.
Ross: What, now youre not even taking to me? (moves over to the coffee table) Look Rachel, I-Im sorry, okay, Im sorry, I was out of my mind. I thought Id lost you, I didnt know what to do. Come on! Come on, how insane must I have been to do something like this? Huh? I-I dont cheat right, I, thats not me, Im not Joey!
Ross: Your page said come to the hospital, what? What was it? What happened?
Ross: Dear Mary-Angela. Hi. Hows it going. This is the hardest letter Ive ever had to write. (to Chandler) What the hells a matter with you? How do you think Joeys going to react when he finds out that you blew off his sister with a letter?
(Steve goes over to look at Ross who's trying to look cool, but has some frosting on his lip.)
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear. (Chandler and Ross stare at him) What? Ross, Ross, would you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?
Ross: Oh. (looks at his watch) Oh-oh. (takes a drink of coffee and resumes reading the letter)
Ross: I cant believe someone would do that for a grade.
Ross: Oh my God. Ohh, my little sister and my best friend shaking up. Oh, thats great. Thats great. (Kisses and hugs her.)
Ross: (shocked at her beauty) Cassie?!
[Ross enters, distraught.]
(Mike knocks on Ross's door.� Ross opens it.)
Ross: Okay, how about you flew to London to stop my wedding! Ah, how about you told me you loved me after I was already married!
Ross: Yeah!
Joey: And for Ross, Mr. Sweet-tooth.
Ross: All right everyone, lift! (They and try to lift the car, of course it doesnt raise up) And slide!! (Everyone leans over, but the car still does not move.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Monica, Chandler, and Joey are there as Ross enters with Phoebe.]
Ross: I'm sorry Chandler, but this, this is really important to me.
(Ross turns around and walks back to Ben.)
Ross: (to Chandler) What are you doing?
Ross: Thank you, but, but you, you gotta leave.
Ross: (in a low voice) Answer faster, answer faster!
Ross: Oh, nothin much. Just trying to figure out what Im gonna do for dinner.
Ross: Look, Chandler, its my joke. But, hey, if it makes you feel any better they dont print the name, so it doesnt really matter who gets credit, right?
Ross: I could, yeah, I can do that.
Ross: (in the same low voice) Answer better, answer better!
Rachel: Alright thanks, oh Ross could you stop by the coffee house and get me a muffin?
Ross: Hey you know what? You know what? To avoid this little thing in the future, let's just say, you and me, never having sex again.
Ross: Thats right, I love you! And-and Im gonna play with you all the time.
Ross: (To Monica) Youre drunk! Mom and dad are gonna be maaaaadd! Maybe Im a little drunk.
Rachel: Ross, thank you. Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie?
Phoebe: (interrupting) Uh-huh, me too. Ross, maybe I should've specified that I'd be needing a grown up doctor.
Ross: Oh yeah, nobody knows. And we're not supposed to ask.
Ross: Oh my god...
Ross: Wow, it really is!
Ross: Well isnt there something you can do to earn a little extra money? I mean, cant-cant you pick up, I dont know, an extra shift here?
Ross: Oh, hey...
Rachel: I hate when Ross is right!
Ross: Hey you guys!
Ross: Just then or-or all the time, cause we-we have jobs yknow.
Ross: Yeah.
Rachel: (gasps) Who got married?! (Ross is as surprised to hear this as she is.)
Ross: Okay, (gets the money) so, do you make the pizzas in one of those uh, wood-burning ovens?
[Time Lapse, Ross and the woman are now in a state of partial undress and are standing in front of the head librarian with two security guards watching them.]
Ross: Yeah. The bartender said that they split up into two search parties, the herbivores and the carnivores. (pause) You know, we as a group are not the coolest.
Joey: I cant believe Ross went out with Rachels sister! When Chandler made out with my sister I was mad at him for 10 years.
Ross: Oh, I'm sorry, did I say "invest it"? I meant "be cool and piss it all away" (Joey and Chandler pleased)
Ross: Okay. Now-now-now should I climb down your front so were face to face or-or should I climb down your back so were-were butt to face.
Monica: Ross used to stay up every Saturday night to watch Golden Girls!
Ross: Oh nothing. Nothing! Just uh, youve been a little short with me lately. Im not trying to irritate you.
Ross: Whats uh, whats going on? Do you not, do you not like Katie?
Ross: What are you, a child?
Ross: (grabbing back his coffee) If the place you are referring too is being in love, then she is in the same place as me because I am not in that place!
Ross: Thats impossible! I mean we have had a deal for years! We-we-we shook on it, although believe me she wanted to do a lot more than that.
Ross: I am, yes.
Ross: You-youre gonna get married?! I mean Were gonna be brothers-in-law! (They hug.)
Ross: Whazzup??
Ross: Hey... I made up that joke and told it to you! (He points at Chandler. Joey gestures to Ross "What are you doing?)
Ross: Umm say, I-I opened this earlier (The privacy screen) but let me give you guys some privacy.
Ross: We have to stop them before something happens!
Ross: Where the hell are Joey and Molly? I asked you to watch them.
(Ross gets out of the bathroom, sees Chandler)
Ross: I hate Chandler, the bastard ruined my life. (Rachel starts looking around and down, with a 'What the hell is going on?' look on her face.)
Ross: Thanx.
(Ross and Chandler walk in, Joey looks disappointed)
Ross and Chandler: Come on! Joe!
(Mike leaves.� Ross closes the door behind him.)
Chandler: Hey, can I talk to you about this groomsman thing? If you pick Ross, he'll walk you down the isle just fine. But if you choose me, you'll be getting some comedy!
Ross: Yeah, see, we-we-we have to stop across the hall, because its my sister. But, uh, uh yknow actually, growing up with a sister was nice because it really helped me understand women. Yeah, you-you should tell your friends that.
ROSS: Can I ask you somethin'?
Ross: Please take your time, its an important decision. Not like, say, I know! deciding to marry someone, this is about a muffin.
Monica: Dad! Theres Ross (points), why dont you go talk to him?
Ross: I know! I know. You know what? Im putting Ruth back on the table!
ROSS: Not at all! I love this guy. Hey, I was so psyched to hear you're back with my sister!
Ross: Yeah! Yeah! OK! Sure! Look! Can we...can we talk about what happened here last night?
Ross: Why...Why should I? I mean if she wants to move on, that's fine!
Ross: (not getting it) Yeah! Yeah! Rachel picked it out for me. She told me to trust her and you know what? I'm glad I did! I turned quite a few heads on my way over here.
(They all leave but Ross, but they all come back a few seconds later. They make faces at the baby.)
[Scene: The hallway between the bedrooms. Ross is coming upstairs and stops between two doors. He looks at the one on the right, then he looks at the one on his left, thinks about it, and goes in the one on his right.]
Ross: What are you doing here, Santa?
Chandler: Oh really?! You think youre stronger? Why dont you prove it? (He pushes Ross who starts to fall backwards until Mona catches him.)
Guy: (To Rachel) So uh, I'm on my way back to the bathroom. (Ross giggles.)
[Scene: The ticket-counter. Ross and Phoebe have their tickets and start looking at the screens in order to find the gate.]
Ross: Don't you have to be at work?
Ross: No. When he called, I...I threw the message away.
Gavin: What's Ross doing to you on that picture?
ROSS: All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and dammit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes (kisses Joey).
Rachel: I thought it was Ross.