words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there except Monica as Ross enters carrying a huge stack of newspapers.]
Ross: Hey you guys I got some bad news. (He sets the stack of papers down on the table.)
Ross: No, Monicas restaurant got a horrible review in the Post. (They all gasp.) I didnt want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find. (He hands the paper to Phoebe and they all read it.)
Ross: Umm
Ross: But the good news is, no one in a two-block radius will ever know.
Ross: Yeah, they all know.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, its late at night, Rachel is sitting on the couch in the dark wide-awake as Ross walks to the bathroom.]
Rachel: Ross!
Ross: (startling him) What?! What?
Ross: Are ya?
Ross: What are you doing up?
Ross: Okay look, I had a lot of water before I went to bed. Can we do this after
Rachel: (interrupting him) No-no-no-no-no Ross! Please, come on we do not have any of the big stuff we need! We do not a changing table! We do not have a crib! We do not have a diaper service!
Ross: Its funny you should mention diapers.
Ross: Okay look, theres nothing to worry about. We have plenty of time. Theres a great baby furniture store on west 10th. Tomorrow, we will go there and we will get you everything that you need. Okay?
Ross: (interrupting her) Okay. Okay. If uh, if youre gonna do this, then Im gonna do that. (Points to the bathroom.) So (Starts for the bathroom.)
Rachel: (stopping him) Oh, wait Ross! Im sorry, one more thing!
Ross: (annoyed) Yeah!
Ross: (stunned) (thinks) Well uh
[Scene: The Baby Furniture Store, Ross and Rachel are checking out.]
Ross: Oh.
Ross: We are having a baby together, but were not involved. (The cashier, a very beautiful woman, looks confused) I mean, uh we-we were seeing each other a while ago, but then we were just friends. And then there was one drunken night. (Rachel looks at him angrily) Or, yes stranger, wed like this delivered please.
Ross: Oh, okay.
Ross: I chose those, Im a paleontologist.
Ross: Yeah! I-I teach it in my class.
Ross: Thats my gym.
Cashier: I can tell you work out. (Ross is please and Rachel looks at him confused.) A paleontologist who works out, youre like Indiana Jones. (Rachel has a disbelieving look on her face.)
Ross: I am like Indiana Jones.
Rachel: Oh, it was great! We got everything that we needed! Oh and Ross, almost got something that wasnt on the list. A whore.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are unpacking and setting up their new purchases.]
Ross: My son? Pretty serious. (Theres a knock on the door and Ross answers it.) Oh hey Katie! (The cashier from before) What uh, what are you doing here?
Ross: Ah, mustve been fairly obvious since it was the only thing left in your store.
Ross: Oh. (Reaches into his pocket for some money as Rachel enters the living room and watches holding two stuffed dinosaurs.)
Ross: Oh! Wow! Uh, yeah! That sounds great. Im just gonna put this (The money) back in my pocket, pretend that didnt happen. Uh yeah, actually Im free now. Do you wanna grab some coffee or
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, continued from before.]
Ross: (To Katie) Yeah, Im just gonna grab my coat. And uh, and my whip. (Katie looks worried.) Yknow because of the Indiana Jones? (Katie laughs) Not-not because Im-Im into S&M. (Katies worried again.) Im not-Im not into anything weird. Yknow? Just-just normal sex. (Katie is uncomfortable.) So, Im gonna grab my coat. (Does so, leaving Katie and Rachel alone.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is returning from his date.]
Ross: Hey.
Ross: How are you?
Ross: Uhh, it was fun. We, we just had coffee.
Ross: Whats uh, whats going on? Do you not, do you not like Katie?
Ross: I liked her.
Rachel: Of course you did Ross, you would date a gorilla if it called you Indiana Jones!
Ross: Did you get like a fresh batch of pregnancy hormones today?!
Ross: Why? What was wrong with her?
Ross: Okay, so whats the matter?
Ross: (laughs) Why? What, what are you jealous?
Ross: Okay.
Ross: I wont date. Ill uh, Ill be here, with you, all the time.
Ross: True, but youre allowed to be unreasonable. Youre having our baby.
Rachel: (starting to cry) Oh Ross, thank you. Thank you. (They hug.)
Ross: Do you feel better?
Ross: Uh Rach?
Ross: Just one thing umm
Ross: We live together. Youre having our baby. Im not gonna see anybody else. Are you-are you sure you dont want something more?
Ross: Oh-oh, Rach! I was just messin around! (Shes stunned) Like you did last night when I had to pee?
Ross: (pause) Okay. Okay. Because for a minute you said you
Ross: that you actually
(They both laugh. Ross sits down, but Rachel doesnt move and is lost in thought.)
Ross: Rach?
Ross: The bathroom?
ROSS: Everybody!
Ross: Pheebs, Pheebs, the babies are coming now.
Ross: No problem, ok, mmmwa (kisses Carol) oh, mmmwa (kisses Carol's stomach, then punches Susan's shoulder) Susan... (Ross leaves.)
Ross: You dont understand! Elizabeth was about to ask me to go on a trip with her! Is that taking it slow?! No, Im not ready for this! Okay? What-what do I tell her?
Ross: Hello. (He throws his jacket towards the coat rack and misses.) Im sorry Im a little late. Ah(Checks his watch)Whoa! A lot late. Let me start by uh, by introducing myself, I am Professor Geller. (The bell rings.) So to sum up, Im Professor Geller. Good job today.
Ross: No! (Pause) Ill be right back. (Exits.)
Ross: I had a dream last night where I was playing football with my kid.
Ross: Hey, can I, can I get in on that? Because Im kinda hungry myself.
Rachel: I know. (Pause) Ross still sees his pediatrician!!! (To Ross) I don't care!
Ross: Look Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I-I did, and then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are there. Chandler and Joey are looking through the paper.]
Ross: (forages around) Okay, I have nothing in an evening shoe in the burgundy. I can show you something in a silver that may work.
Ross: Nope.
Ross: Hey Mon!
(Ross enters and his hair is a mess.)
Ross: (to Joey) OK, here goes.
ROSS: I talked to Rachel's sisters, neither of them can come.
ROSS: Yeah. And you should hold out for something bigger. I can't tell you how much respect I have for you not going to that stupid cab driver audition.
Ross: You need to get some sleep.
Ross: Hmm?
[Scene: Central Park, Ross is teaching Ben how to ride a bike. Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are they also.]
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: What?
Ross: No.
Rachel: Ross, you know what...
Ross: What?
Ross: Nope.
Ross: (entering with Monica in tow) Hey!
Ross: Guess what?
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Okay.
[Cut to Ross leaping into Chandlers Hotel room in London in The One With Rosss Wedding.]
Ross: Smooth man. Yeah, you got some chilie on your neck. (Chandler checks and runs into the bathroom.) Well, I just want to say, thanks everyone, this-this was great. And hey! See you guys Monday morning. (They museum geeks wave at him.) Thanks Joey.
Ross: (to Rachel, as she gets his number) What, he gave you his home number? As in like, to, to his home?
Ross: Ok ... (they leave the room, long pause) Well, uh, Joey, I guess we have no problem.
Ross: Look, that was supposed to be like a private, personal thing between us.
Ross: My way?! You-you think this is my way? Believe me, of all the ways I ever imagined this moment in my life being, this is not my way- y'know what? Uh, um, this is too hard. I'm not, I can't do-
Ross: Noo!
Ross: Im a professor here uh, Ross Geller.
ROSS: That doesn't matter. She wanted to call Bob. Hey, for all we know, Bob is who she was meant to be with. You may be destroying two people's chance for happiness.
Ross: You can have the last piece, if you want.
Ross: C'mon, Chandler, I love your mom. I think she's a blast.
Ross: I'm gonna pay for that tonight.
Ross: Oh, I just thought we could go out to dinner, and then maybe bring her back to my place and I'd introduce her to my monkey.
Ross: Know whatIf somebody doesnt tell me whats going on right now
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Yes!
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Nooo!
Ross: Your Mom, your telling me, your telling me, about your Mom, what is the matter with you?
Ross: Okay, look, we have nineteen minutes. Okay, Chandler, I want you to go and change! Okay. And then, when you come back, Joey will go change, and he'll have vacated the chair. Okay. Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross are there.]
Ross: Because it's breast milk. It's gross.
Ross: Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God.. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your- (thinks) -big lizards... Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.
Ross: Hmph.
ROSS: Well, she'll call back, don't be such a baby.
Ross: Hi.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Really.
Ross: Yeah, she finally stopped crying yesterday, but then she found one of Richard's cigar butts out on the terrace, so.
Ross: Hey!
Female Student: (as they are moving past Ross) Im so sorry!
Ross: Wow, hello! You look great!
Joey: Hey OK great, what would you do if I did this? (Swings to punch Chandler, he moves and he ends up punching Ross, knocking him off the stool. Ross then gets up and just stares at Joey.)
Ross: No! Do you wanna hear it?
Ross: Now, do you have any idea what you just said?
Ross: Chandler-
Ross: No, but I wanna be. Hey, I will be. Besides, I'm with Charlie, right? Oh my god, I'm still with Charlie, aren't I? I mean, she didn't see the dance, did she?
Chandler: Yeah, come on, its Ross and Rachel, theyve got too.
Ross: And this girl is making eyes at Chandler, okay? So after awhile he-he goes over to her and uh, after a minute or two, I see them kissing. Now, I know what youre thinking, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls, and youre right, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls.
Ross: Yeah, the phone was facing the other way. (Chandler fixes it and a picture frame off the table.) And that goes back up there.
Rachel: Um, ok, uh, oh god, um, when you and uh Ross first started going out, it was really hard for me, um, for many reasons, which I'm not gonna bore you with now, but um, I just, I see how happy he is, you know, and how good you guys are together, and um, Monica's always saying how nice you are, and god I hate it when she's right.
Joey: With Carol? (Ross gives him a look.) Oh.
Ross: To wear in front of people?
Joey: I ended up at Ross's place. Oh, I musta missed counted or something. (Looks out the window.) Damn! She's not there anymore. Oh, l-l-look, Ross is doing his 'Watching TV' bit. (We see Ross sitting on the couch and flipping through the channels on his remote.)
ROSS: Lemme see. [looks]
ROSS: Ok, dinner's on.
Ross: You don't, you don't know what your wearing?
Ross: What?
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on, come on, what. You took his underwear?
Ross and
Ross: Okay, then why do you have to wear underwear tonight?
[Later, in the living room, Rachel is sitting on the couch, Ross is on the chair.]
Ross: No, y'know what, I guess it's partially my fault. Y'know, I shouldn't've, uh, asked you to start off with a monkey. I should've started you off with like a pen or a pencil.
Ross: No, no, no just do it. Go in there and pick something out so we can go.
Ross: Just, just, just pick one!
Ross: Thank you!
Ross: Yay!
Ross: It was, it was her voice.
Ross: No, no, no, no. Tick, tick, tick, tick.
Ross: We are never gonna find him! Hes one guy in a huge city!
Ross: Remember the Russian satellite, Sputnik? (They all look at him.) Well, Im a potato or a spud. And these are my antennae. (Points to the colander with an old TV antenna glued on top that hes wearing.) So Sputnik, becomes (Theyre still confused) Spud-nik. Spudnik!
Ross: You're not going to go.
RACH: Good. [Ross leaves]
Ross: No.
Ross: Your not going.
Ross: Okay. You know that I-I have to go.
Ross: How, how, um how can you not be going?
Ross: No, but, your-your mad.
Ross: We're good.