words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there except Monica as Ross enters carrying a huge stack of newspapers.]
Ross: Hey you guys I got some bad news. (He sets the stack of papers down on the table.)
Ross: No, Monicas restaurant got a horrible review in the Post. (They all gasp.) I didnt want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find. (He hands the paper to Phoebe and they all read it.)
Ross: Umm
Ross: But the good news is, no one in a two-block radius will ever know.
Ross: Yeah, they all know.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, its late at night, Rachel is sitting on the couch in the dark wide-awake as Ross walks to the bathroom.]
Rachel: Ross!
Ross: (startling him) What?! What?
Ross: Are ya?
Ross: What are you doing up?
Ross: Okay look, I had a lot of water before I went to bed. Can we do this after
Rachel: (interrupting him) No-no-no-no-no Ross! Please, come on we do not have any of the big stuff we need! We do not a changing table! We do not have a crib! We do not have a diaper service!
Ross: Its funny you should mention diapers.
Ross: Okay look, theres nothing to worry about. We have plenty of time. Theres a great baby furniture store on west 10th. Tomorrow, we will go there and we will get you everything that you need. Okay?
Ross: (interrupting her) Okay. Okay. If uh, if youre gonna do this, then Im gonna do that. (Points to the bathroom.) So (Starts for the bathroom.)
Rachel: (stopping him) Oh, wait Ross! Im sorry, one more thing!
Ross: (annoyed) Yeah!
Ross: (stunned) (thinks) Well uh
[Scene: The Baby Furniture Store, Ross and Rachel are checking out.]
Ross: Oh.
Ross: We are having a baby together, but were not involved. (The cashier, a very beautiful woman, looks confused) I mean, uh we-we were seeing each other a while ago, but then we were just friends. And then there was one drunken night. (Rachel looks at him angrily) Or, yes stranger, wed like this delivered please.
Ross: Oh, okay.
Ross: I chose those, Im a paleontologist.
Ross: Yeah! I-I teach it in my class.
Ross: Thats my gym.
Cashier: I can tell you work out. (Ross is please and Rachel looks at him confused.) A paleontologist who works out, youre like Indiana Jones. (Rachel has a disbelieving look on her face.)
Ross: I am like Indiana Jones.
Rachel: Oh, it was great! We got everything that we needed! Oh and Ross, almost got something that wasnt on the list. A whore.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are unpacking and setting up their new purchases.]
Ross: My son? Pretty serious. (Theres a knock on the door and Ross answers it.) Oh hey Katie! (The cashier from before) What uh, what are you doing here?
Ross: Ah, mustve been fairly obvious since it was the only thing left in your store.
Ross: Oh. (Reaches into his pocket for some money as Rachel enters the living room and watches holding two stuffed dinosaurs.)
Ross: Oh! Wow! Uh, yeah! That sounds great. Im just gonna put this (The money) back in my pocket, pretend that didnt happen. Uh yeah, actually Im free now. Do you wanna grab some coffee or
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, continued from before.]
Ross: (To Katie) Yeah, Im just gonna grab my coat. And uh, and my whip. (Katie looks worried.) Yknow because of the Indiana Jones? (Katie laughs) Not-not because Im-Im into S&M. (Katies worried again.) Im not-Im not into anything weird. Yknow? Just-just normal sex. (Katie is uncomfortable.) So, Im gonna grab my coat. (Does so, leaving Katie and Rachel alone.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is returning from his date.]
Ross: Hey.
Ross: How are you?
Ross: Uhh, it was fun. We, we just had coffee.
Ross: Whats uh, whats going on? Do you not, do you not like Katie?
Ross: I liked her.
Rachel: Of course you did Ross, you would date a gorilla if it called you Indiana Jones!
Ross: Did you get like a fresh batch of pregnancy hormones today?!
Ross: Why? What was wrong with her?
Ross: Okay, so whats the matter?
Ross: (laughs) Why? What, what are you jealous?
Ross: Okay.
Ross: I wont date. Ill uh, Ill be here, with you, all the time.
Ross: True, but youre allowed to be unreasonable. Youre having our baby.
Rachel: (starting to cry) Oh Ross, thank you. Thank you. (They hug.)
Ross: Do you feel better?
Ross: Uh Rach?
Ross: Just one thing umm
Ross: We live together. Youre having our baby. Im not gonna see anybody else. Are you-are you sure you dont want something more?
Ross: Oh-oh, Rach! I was just messin around! (Shes stunned) Like you did last night when I had to pee?
Ross: (pause) Okay. Okay. Because for a minute you said you
Ross: that you actually
(They both laugh. Ross sits down, but Rachel doesnt move and is lost in thought.)
Ross: Rach?
Ross: The bathroom?
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: What do you mean?
Ross: Yeah, have a seat.
Ross: You think?
Phoebe: Oh hey Ross oh I'm so glad someone's here could you zip me up?
Rachel: Ross, you are so pathetic. Why can't your son just play with his doll? (uses the Milk Master 2000 to pour milk into her cereal)
Ross: Hey, youre right.
Ross: Thanks. (He starts to go inside and stops.) What photo album was it?
Ross: That's it? You're not mad? I mean, it must've been terrible.
Ross: I just wanna clarify this: are you outing Mr. Peanut?
Ross: Helps a little.
Mrs. Waltham: This is ridiculous. I mean we had an agreement. (Ross looks frustrated. She begins to scream at her husband.) Will you say something, Steven?! Please!!!
ROSS: OK, what's the longest you've been in the relationship before ha, have, having the sex?
Ross: Yeah, I was going for the metaphor.
Ross: Hi.
Ross: (Thinks about it.) Nah.
Ross: And why do you care so much?
Ross: They gave him a lot of medication, ok? He wouldn't even know if you were there. Look, we'll go see him first thing in the morning, ok?
Ross: (to Joey) Good morning. Nice breasts by the way.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the next morning. Joey is getting the door in his dressing gownit's Ross.]
Rachel: (trying to sound like a bug) Bzzzz.... I love you, Ross.
Rachel: Well Thats yknowThatsWeve been alone for the last twenty minutes were doing okay. Besides yknow what? I-IMaybe we wont be alone, cause lately I-Ithings have been happening between me and Ross, yknow? Right before I went into labor, we-we had this kiss. Yknow? So it might be the the beginning of something.
(Ross looks at Joey, dumbfounded at his stupidity.)
Ross: Emily! (Runs up.)
Ross: Oh, absolutely! (Chandler mumbles something.)
ROSS: Then you should have said something before I met her.
Ross: Thats no problem.
(Ross goes outisde on the balcony.)
Ross: Me neither, okay? We are - we're done being stupid.
Ross: What do I do now?
Ross: Thank you.
(Ross enters.)
Ross: You still love me.
Ross: I did.
Ross: She said, "Thank you." I said, "I love you." And she said, "Thank you."
[Cut to Ross getting of an elevator carrying a bouquet of flowers and walking down the hall to Rachels room.]
Chandler: O-kay. I'll see if I can find Ross. (Goes off to find Ross.)
Ross: Ahh.
Emily: Ross.
Ross: Well
Ross: (Answers the phone.) Hello?
Ross: Emily, hi! Uh, how-how was you flight?
Ross: What?
Ross: No.
Ross: All right. All right, Im gonna do it!
Party Guests: (chanting) Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! (Ross goes to investigate the noise) Howard! Howard! Howard! (They're holding Howard above their heads.) Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! (He sees Phoebe chanting along with them.) Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Yay!!
Phoebe: Okay, so its probably just the Ross thing then.
(Ross starts to leave.)
Ross: Really?
Ross: You're right, I'm sorry. Will you marry me?
Ross: (on phone) Hey.
Ross: (Bangs on the bathroom door) Emily? Emily? Im coming in. (He opens the door to reveal that the window is gone, along with Emily.)
Ross: About four hours.
Emily: Ive uh, Ive come to talk to Ross.
Ross and Rachel: Noo.
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Ohh! Thank you.
Emily: Ross, I love you!
(Ross thinks it over, finally sits down and picks up his cards.)
Ross: Hey, if mommy can have a wife, daddy can have a bra.
Ross: Okay, but do you really need another friend? I mean...
(Ross keeps staring at her, head on table. Chandler smacks him with a newspaper. Joey enters, Ross and Chandler laugh at him.)
Emily: (laughs) Ross play rugby? I dont think so.
Ross: Oh, well this morning he got a call from who I think was our cousin Nathan, and frankly, it was a little more than I needed to know.
Ross: (triumphantly) Im gonna be on TV!!
Ross: Hey!
Monica: It is not over because she is going to call you and tell you she loves you. And the reason why she couldnt, is because her feelings were so strong, it scared her. Now you go home and wait for her call, she could be calling you from the plane! Come on now go! Go! (Tries to push Ross out the door.)
Ross: Yeah? Oh-oh, shed be so excited!
Phoebe: He is! But hes getting divorcedRoss! Maybe you know him.
Ross: You had fantasies about Emily?
Ross: Oh. Whats wrong with Ross?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Sandy sit on the couch. Sandy holds Emma. Ross enters the apartment. Sandy and Rachel wipe their tears away with handkerchiefs]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is working as Phoebe and Ross are sitting on the couch.]
(knock on door, Ross opens, it's a woman)
Ross: All right, bad ankle, got it!
Rachel: Okay, but Ross, eventually you and I are gonna be dating.
Ross: So umm, any word from Susan?
Ross: Am I?!
Ross: Am I?!
Ross: Yeah, well you never have the time. I mean, I dont feel like I even have a girlfriend anymore, Rachel.
Ross: I cant believe it. (Pause) Can I tell you something? Im a little mad at him now.
Ross: Uhm... Rachel and I hired a male nanny. (Joey makes a gesture and sound like "Can you believe that?")
Molly: (to Ross) I'm gonna take her back to the appartment.
Ross: She doesnt know which one of us she wants, me or this Colin guy.
Ross: (interrupting her) Oh, it's not the ideal way...
Ross: I like this one. (Points to it.) It seems to say, "I love you and thats why I have to kill you."
Ross: What?
Ross: Oh, wake up!
Ross: Excuse me?
Ross: It does not!
Ross: Oh come on! Here we go! (picks her up and puts her in the chair) Stand by for mission countdown!
Ross: This is not fun!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's balcony, Ross is about to be attacked by Paulo's cat.]
Phoebe: Yeah. The 92 Ross wouldnt.
Mona's Date: Its awfully pink. (Ross mouths, "Its salmon!")
Ross: In this life, Phoebe.
Ross: Oh, I missed you too.
Ross: Nice luggage.
Ross: Yes, thats what I was going to ask, thank you.
Ross: Hi!