words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there except Monica as Ross enters carrying a huge stack of newspapers.]
Ross: Hey you guys I got some bad news. (He sets the stack of papers down on the table.)
Ross: No, Monicas restaurant got a horrible review in the Post. (They all gasp.) I didnt want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find. (He hands the paper to Phoebe and they all read it.)
Ross: Umm
Ross: But the good news is, no one in a two-block radius will ever know.
Ross: Yeah, they all know.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, its late at night, Rachel is sitting on the couch in the dark wide-awake as Ross walks to the bathroom.]
Rachel: Ross!
Ross: (startling him) What?! What?
Ross: Are ya?
Ross: What are you doing up?
Ross: Okay look, I had a lot of water before I went to bed. Can we do this after
Rachel: (interrupting him) No-no-no-no-no Ross! Please, come on we do not have any of the big stuff we need! We do not a changing table! We do not have a crib! We do not have a diaper service!
Ross: Its funny you should mention diapers.
Ross: Okay look, theres nothing to worry about. We have plenty of time. Theres a great baby furniture store on west 10th. Tomorrow, we will go there and we will get you everything that you need. Okay?
Ross: (interrupting her) Okay. Okay. If uh, if youre gonna do this, then Im gonna do that. (Points to the bathroom.) So (Starts for the bathroom.)
Rachel: (stopping him) Oh, wait Ross! Im sorry, one more thing!
Ross: (annoyed) Yeah!
Ross: (stunned) (thinks) Well uh
[Scene: The Baby Furniture Store, Ross and Rachel are checking out.]
Ross: Oh.
Ross: We are having a baby together, but were not involved. (The cashier, a very beautiful woman, looks confused) I mean, uh we-we were seeing each other a while ago, but then we were just friends. And then there was one drunken night. (Rachel looks at him angrily) Or, yes stranger, wed like this delivered please.
Ross: Oh, okay.
Ross: I chose those, Im a paleontologist.
Ross: Yeah! I-I teach it in my class.
Ross: Thats my gym.
Cashier: I can tell you work out. (Ross is please and Rachel looks at him confused.) A paleontologist who works out, youre like Indiana Jones. (Rachel has a disbelieving look on her face.)
Ross: I am like Indiana Jones.
Rachel: Oh, it was great! We got everything that we needed! Oh and Ross, almost got something that wasnt on the list. A whore.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are unpacking and setting up their new purchases.]
Ross: My son? Pretty serious. (Theres a knock on the door and Ross answers it.) Oh hey Katie! (The cashier from before) What uh, what are you doing here?
Ross: Ah, mustve been fairly obvious since it was the only thing left in your store.
Ross: Oh. (Reaches into his pocket for some money as Rachel enters the living room and watches holding two stuffed dinosaurs.)
Ross: Oh! Wow! Uh, yeah! That sounds great. Im just gonna put this (The money) back in my pocket, pretend that didnt happen. Uh yeah, actually Im free now. Do you wanna grab some coffee or
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, continued from before.]
Ross: (To Katie) Yeah, Im just gonna grab my coat. And uh, and my whip. (Katie looks worried.) Yknow because of the Indiana Jones? (Katie laughs) Not-not because Im-Im into S&M. (Katies worried again.) Im not-Im not into anything weird. Yknow? Just-just normal sex. (Katie is uncomfortable.) So, Im gonna grab my coat. (Does so, leaving Katie and Rachel alone.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is returning from his date.]
Ross: Hey.
Ross: How are you?
Ross: Uhh, it was fun. We, we just had coffee.
Ross: Whats uh, whats going on? Do you not, do you not like Katie?
Ross: I liked her.
Rachel: Of course you did Ross, you would date a gorilla if it called you Indiana Jones!
Ross: Did you get like a fresh batch of pregnancy hormones today?!
Ross: Why? What was wrong with her?
Ross: Okay, so whats the matter?
Ross: (laughs) Why? What, what are you jealous?
Ross: Okay.
Ross: I wont date. Ill uh, Ill be here, with you, all the time.
Ross: True, but youre allowed to be unreasonable. Youre having our baby.
Rachel: (starting to cry) Oh Ross, thank you. Thank you. (They hug.)
Ross: Do you feel better?
Ross: Uh Rach?
Ross: Just one thing umm
Ross: We live together. Youre having our baby. Im not gonna see anybody else. Are you-are you sure you dont want something more?
Ross: Oh-oh, Rach! I was just messin around! (Shes stunned) Like you did last night when I had to pee?
Ross: (pause) Okay. Okay. Because for a minute you said you
Ross: that you actually
(They both laugh. Ross sits down, but Rachel doesnt move and is lost in thought.)
Ross: Rach?
Ross: The bathroom?
Ross: No, look, uh. You are upset about your father and you're feeling vulnerable and I just don't feel it would be right, I'd feel like I'd be, you know, taking advantage of you.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is looking at Ugly Naked Guy's apartment through binoculars.]
Ross: Its nothing, I just gave her a hug.
ROSS: Yes. [pulls them off and hands them to Mr. Greene] I was just warming up the earpieces for you.
Ross: (happily again) You were worried about me? You didn't know how I was going to react? (He hugs them both.)
Monica: "Oh my God, I love Ross! I hate Ross! I love Ross! I hate Ross!"
Ross: No, Rachel got pulled over for speeding. She forgot her licence so now I have to bring it to her.
Chandler: Du-du-I wrote it, I wrote it on the board! I wrote it on the board, then I went all over New York City looking for ya! I went to Rosss! I went to the coffeehouse! I went to any place that they made sandwiches!
Ross: No, hi, Im, Im an honorary Brown Bird (does the Brown Bird salute.)
(Ross pauses and looks at him, Joey motions for him to hurry up.)
(Joey walks in and sees Ross and Charlie kissing. He gives a faint, rueful smile, then he seems to recollect something and suddenly he moves back to Rachel's room. He knocks on her door and she opens)
Ross: Probably. But you know, I'll tell you something. Passion is way overrated.
[Scene: Ross's apartment the next morning. Ross is very hung-over on the couch as Joey enters with a cup of coffee for him.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross and Phoebe are sitting on the couch.]
Joey: I-I-I don't know if this falls under this category, but uh, Ross is right back there. (Points over his shoulder.)
(Ross and Bonnie enter)
Phoebe: So Ross, how umm, how did it go with Bonnie?
Ross: No! The reason Im asking is that I sorta had one last night.
(Both Rachel and Ross stare at her for a moment.)
(Nana passes for the second time and the nurse pulls the blanket over her. Ross and Monica go to tell the family)
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Chandler is trying to get Joeys money back from Ross.]
Ross: And now you want that money back.
Ross: No.
Chandler: (He turns to Ross and Ross makes a Be strong sound.) I wanna quit the gym.
Ross: Thats all youre basing this on?
Liam: Ross! Ross! Come on! Get in here! (Ross gets pumped up.) Ross! Come on!
Ross: Well Im jumping! I have a son! Okay? He wont have a father if-if I die!
Ross and Chandler: Hey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are sitting there and not talking to each other.]
Ross: What? No-no, a lurker.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Okay, look, how is this gonna affect you? Really? I mean you fill some form out once and a while and instead of checking the box that says Ms you check the box that says Mrs.! Its right next to it!
Ross: We-we-weI remember being in a chapel.
Ross: Well, this is ironic. Of your last two boyfriends, Richard didnt want to have kids, and from the looks of it, now Pete cant.
ROSS: Ok, then you're gonna have to understand that you're with a guy who's not gonna stop planning his future with you because he knows that we're gonna end up together and if that scares you, tough, 'cause you're gonna have to deal with that.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica has just opened the door for Ross who is costumed as an Armadillo. Ben is standing next to her.]
Ross: Alright. (He goes to get the glasses. Then he hesitates and turns off the main light. Rachel looks round and he acts surprised) The, uh, the neighbours must be vacuuming. (He sits down and starts to pour the wine) Well, so long as we're here and, uh, not on the subject, I was thinking about, uh, how mad we got at each other before, and, um, I was thinking maybe it was partially because of how we, um...
Ross: Oh, is it? Is it? Look, when Monica and I were kids, we had a dog named Rover. And, uh, one day, my dad decides, he doesn't like dogs. So Monica and her friend Phyllis take away the dog. And that was the last time we ever saw him. Don't you see? This is just like that. Only with a few details changed.
Ross: Oh, I'm sorry. Please apologise to Sandy and the Snufflebumps for me.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are talking over party plans.]
Ross: Joshua guy at that club, dancing and having a good time, the thought of it kinda yknow.
Ross: I.....got.....dressed. Really, really quickly. Okay, okay. (Rachel starts to follow Monica into her room, but Ross stops her and sends her back to her room.) There we go, there we go.
Rachel: Why would you even want to come Ross? Youre a horrible skier.
Ross: No, I dont want to hit you.
Monica: Well, are you just hanging out with Ross?
Ross: I don't even wanna know about the dark cheese.
Ross: Yeah that-that, doesn't look right.
Ross: No. I think you misunderstood what I was saying. What I meant was
Ross: Okay, I'm working on my flirting.
Ross: (whispers) What?!
Ross: I-I had to show Chandler something?
Ross: What do you mean, theyre not moving in? They-theyre still moving in right?
Monica: Why is Ross naked?
Ross: What, so he was a little analytical. That's what he does, y'know? C'mon, he's not that bad.
Ross: Yeah-yeah I uh, I have a uh, a guy problem.
Ross: Before the snap!
Ross: Hey Pheebs, has Gary ever been shot at for real?
ROSS: Well, there goes my whole belief system.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Chandler and Ross are there. Monica enters]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rosss bachelor party. Ross is thanking Joey for the party.]
Ross: Thank you, Dr. Phillips, but Im having my lunch at this table, here in the middle. Im having lunch right here, with my good friend Joey, if hell sit with me.
Ross: Bye! (Runs out)
Joey: (sounding panicky)Oh my god Ross! You don't have Emma! And Rachel you don't have Emma! (Starts yelling) Where's Emma? Who has Emma!?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Janine and Chandler are there]
[Scene, Central Perk: Rachel, Ross and Monica are there]
Ross: Well, is this Hillary your HOT assistant chef Hillary?
Ross: I'm fine. Just-just... having my worst fear realised...
MONICA: OK, wait, wait, wait, wait. You know what? Ross, let's - let's switch places. You get in the middle. No un-, ya know, unless this looks like we're trying to cover something up.
Ross: Yeah, but you're making me look bad!
Ross: I don't, I don't think we've meet. I-I'm Ross.
Ross: Maybe its a universal thing?
Ross: Hey Pheebs, what 'cha reading? (Phoebe ignores him) Pheebs? (Turns away) Hello? (He sits down next to her and she moves over a bit.) Phoebe? (He moves closer and she keeps moving away.) Phoe-Phoebe! (They end up hanging over the arm rest.) Come on! (He grabs the magazine away from her.)
Ross: I have an oily T-zone!
Ross: Hey guys.
Ross: (reading from the script.) I am sorry, Chandler.
Ross: Yeah. What do you think.
Ross: Ahh, I-I did leave the gel on a little longer then it said to.
Ross: Come on, seriously.
Ross: You weren't there! Okay, maybe this is something that I-I'm supposed to seize! Y'know?
Ross: Not only did we go out, we did it 298 times!
Ross: Oh, yeah, no problems. Its all taken care of.
Ross: What??
Ross: So uh, wha-uh, what do you do?
Ross: Oh, yeah, that would be me, um, I have, I have a problem I-I tip way too much, way, way, too much, its a sickness really.
Joey and Ross: Kristen Lang.
Ross: (entering) Hey, uh, Im really, really sorry about what happened in the cafeteria today.
Ross: Yeah, would you please consider moving here? I mean you were gonna move here anyway, why can't you just do that?
Ross: Hey Rach, can you pass me the TV Guide?
Ross: Well, if I'm still here in an hour, buy him a drink on me.
Ross: (To the still half asleep Professor) Oh my God! You really want me to be the keynote speaker? Thank you! (hugs him whilst still on his lap)
Ross: Mmm.
Ross: Mm-Hmm.
Ross: Sweetie, you gotta relax. Everythings gonna be great, okay? Come on. Come on.
Ross: Mmm-Hmm.
Ross: Im getting that baby out of you!
Ross: Well, Im just saying, I mean why else would he just, y'know, swoop in out of nowhere for no reason.
Ross: (entering) Hey, guys! (They both notice his new little friend)
Ross: Mmm.
Ross: Hmm-Hmm.