words in movies
Ross: Hey, I thought I'd end up kissing Charlie too ok? But SURPRISE!
Ross: Yes, she is this new professor of my department that I did not kiss.
Ross: Why do you care so much?
Rachel: (worried) Be-cause Ross is the father of my child! You know... and I... want him to hook up with lots of women! (pause) I just... All I'm saying is... I don't think that Joey and Charlie have anything in common.
Ross: Oh, I don't know, they seem to have a shared interest in each other's tonsils...
Rachel: All right, so... Ross, you're ok with all this? I mean...
Ross: Yeah, it's no big deal. I mean, I just met her and I'm fine with it...
(Joey and Charlie enter. Ross looks at her)
Ross: Oh, God. I forgot how hot she was!
Ross: I'm gonna get some more coffee.
Ross: Ok. (they both go)
Charlie: (talking to Ross) I feel like I owe you an explanation. I don't ordinarily go around kissing guys at parties. I'm... well, I'm kind of embarrassed. I really hope you don't think less of me.
Ross: Uhm no! Think less of you! No, I don't think less of you. I mean, you saw someone you liked and you kissed them. I mean, those people who like someone and don't kiss them... those-those people are stupid, I hate those people.
Ross: Yeah, I know the type.
Chandler: (embarrassed) I cannot believe Ross told you that! (pause) And in my defense, it was a Wendy's!
(Joey walks in and moves towards Ross, who's sitting of the sofa)
Joey: Ross!
Ross: Hi!
Ross: (annoyed) Oh, do you, do you really?
Ross: Look, if you don't know what the word "acrimonious" means, just don't use it!
Ross: Get to the problem!
Ross: (looking down) Are you wearing two belts?
Ross: You were saying you didn't want to seem stupid.
Ross: You know, I really don't want to get involved in you guy's relationship.
Ross: (after a short hesitation) Fine.
Ross: Ok. Let's see. Oh, you should take her to the MET!
Ross: Oh, no! The MET! The Metropolitan Museum of Art.
Ross: Yeah, most of it it's a place packed with confused angry baseball fans!
Ross: Yeah, uh, uh, ok, there's this great rare bookstore on Madison Avenue. You know what? She loves architecture, you know what you should do? You should take a walk down fifth to the Saint Patrick's Cathedral and there there's this great little pastry shop that she'd love.
Ross: But I'm not! (pause). You know what if you're in the mood for Thai food...
Ross: Ok.
Ross: Ok, when you walk in the museum, take the right, that's the antiquities wing. Ancient Egypt, Mesopotamia, up to the Byzantine Empire.
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! So, I walk in the door and make the right (and he bends his arm to the left. Ross then bends Joey's arm to the right and Joey nods)
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey and Ross in the living room, rehearsing what Joey will say to Charlie in the Museum]
Ross: Now, do you have any idea what you just said?
Ross: Ok now, remember, when you get to the museum, Monet is not spelt M-O-N-A-Y. I just... I wrote that out phonetically for you.
Ross: Yeah, yeah that means... you know? We just... we don't have time for this.
Ross: Ok, but you know what? I gotta say, I'm really impressed that you were able to memorize all this so quickly!
Ross: Wow. What does that mean?
Ross: Ok! So let's move on to the Renaissance?
Ross: Nah ah! Nah ah! (stops him form doing so) No no no! No ad-libbing and dude, you can't touch the paintings.
Ross: No! (Slaps his hand)
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross is playing some shoot'em up game on his laptop]
Ross: Haha! Got ya! Die, die, die!
Ross: (recovers his composure and starts typing) Respectfully, professor R. Geller. (hits <return>, closes the laptop and joins Charlie on the sofa) Hey!
Ross: Hey, how was the Met?
Ross: Yeah? Joey really knows his art, huh?
Ross: What do you mean?
Ross: (perplexed for a moment) Wait a minute... when you guys walked into the Met, did you go to the right?
Ross: (shaking head) Oh Joey, Joey! But still, I mean, it seems like you guys are having a great time together.
Ross: What?
Ross: What, I mean, a little, but no, what, go on.
Ross: (slowly) Yeah. But you know what? I think you should give Joey a chance. I mean, he's a great guy, and sure he doesn't know that much about art but you know, you can always talk about that with someone else.
Ross: And if you think about it, I mean the reason he memorized all that stuff is because he thought it was important to you. You know, that's the kind of guy Joey is.
Ross: That was going to be my next argument.
Ross: Hey!
Charlie: Yeah, let's go. (stands up and kisses Joey) (to Ross) Thanks Ross.
Joey: (aside, to Ross) Hey Ross! That art stuff worked, you hooked me up.
Ross: Glad I could help man.
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Phoebe is playing a song. Chandler, Monica, and Ross are there as well.]
Monica: (entering) Ross (who has his foot on the coffee table), foot on the floor or come over no more!
Ross: Oh come on. It's cold, it's dark, he doesn't know the Village. (Kicks a sign in frustration) And now I have a broken foot. I have no monkey, and a broken foot! Thank you very much.
Ross: (astonished) What?
Ross: (holding a dress out from inside the closet) This one?
Ross: and then, we couldve gone from the ceremony to the reception with you in the sidecar!
(Ross looks scared)
Ross: I'm having a son. Um...
Ross: This is fun. Hey Rach, remember that whole "We were on a break thing?" Well, I'm sorry, will you marry me? (Laughs--whines as he sees that no one is laughing. They're just staring at him in shock.)
Rachel: Ross, this is not how we wanted you to find out about this. You have every right to go nuts.
Ross: OK, I have a question. Well, actually, it's not so much a question as.. more of a general wondering... ment.
Joey: Nonono, you can't kiss Ross, that's your brother.
[Camera pans to the Geller family table. Ross, Rachel, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there.]
Ross: Yeah, and she still wants to go! It's pretty clear where she is.
Ross: What do you want to do now? Huh? You wanna go get a drink?
Rachel: (talking in her sleep) Oooooooooh. (Rachel strokes her hand over the pillow. Ross mimicks her silently) Oh, that's nice. Oh, oh. Huh, Ross!
Ross: Wha-I'm having, I'm having a boy! (babbling) Huh, am I having a boy?
Molly: (goes out of the room) Hey! Guys, this is Tabatha (they kiss on the lips in a romantic way). (to Ross) I'll see you tomorrow.
Ross: So, eh. I made out with Adrienne and you made out with Missy. Well I guess we're even.
Ross: Yeah.
Monica: Ross! He's playing with my spatulas again!
Ross: Why? Why would I why? Why? Why? Why?
Ross: Nonono, thatthat's not what I was saying...
Monica screaming at Ross: Forget the bubblewrap! There isn't time!
Ross: Marcel, c'mere, c'mere. (He sits down and Marcel jumps down and sits beside him) Well buddy, this is it. There's just a coupla things I want to say. I'm really gonna miss you, and I'm never gonna forget about you. You've been more than just a pet to me, you've been more like a be- (Marcel climbs down and starts humping his leg) Okay, Marcel, please, could you leave my leg alone? Could you just stop humping me for two seconds?! Marcel, would- okay, just take him away. Just take him.
Rachel: Oh please. Okay, anyone in this room think that I would send Ross begging symbols, please show of hands. (Ross raises his hand and no one else.)
Ross: Okay, hold my crawler.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is showing everyone a poster as Ross enters.]
Ross: Not even once.
[Scene: Rosss Apartment, Ross and Monica are there.]
Ross: Well, there is an Arbys in the shape of a tee-pee.
Ross: Im sorry the answer there would be...none of us.
Ross: Hey. Oh, oh, how'd it go?
Ross: We're sorry, Pheebs, we're sorry.
ROSS: Rach, Rach, we'll be fine, all right?� You go have fun.
Ross: Hey Pheebs, could you please not put your feet up on my new (On Rachels glare) old sheet?
Ross: So Joey, you okay?
Phoebe: (Walks towards Ross) If you hadn't just had a baby with my best friend I swear to Lucifer a raber dog would be feasting on your danglers RIGHT NOW!
Ross: Why, why, why would you dream that?
(There is a knock at the door. Someone turns the music off, then the whole party runs and hides, except for Monica and Rachel who answer their door. Ross stands in the doorway, holding a box, but everyone is too keyed up to notice that it's him.)
Ross: Not well. I went on the subway again and someone did sit on my hand but that person was neither female nor wearing pants.
Joey: I'm tellin' you Ross, she wants you.
Woman: Hi, Ross.
Ross: Actually, nectarines, but basically...
Ross: Aw, right.
Ross: An egg?
Ross: Hi. She said yes.
Phoebe: Ooh. Oh. It looks like, like a tiny little person drowning in your cereal. (Ross gives her this look, like 'Yeah, doesn't it', and gets up to dump it down the drain.)
Ross: Well, oh just ah, I was just wondering, when you and I split up, did you get the tape that was half the last episode of M*A*S*H and half the hostages coming home?
Rachel: (On the phone) Okay, he's a, he's a black capuchian monkey with a white face... (Enter Ross) ...with, with Russian dressing and, and pickles on the side. Okay. Thanks.
Ross: (coming out of the bedroom) Oh! Oh my God! I didnt even see you!
Ross: I love it, when we share.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel has just found out about Chloe and is screaming at Ross. The rest of the gang is trapped in Monica's bedroom.]
(Camera pans to Ross, holding his stomach)
Ross: The most amazing thing happened tonight. I thought my number was up. I had an actual near death experience!
Ross: (noticing the pipe and looking at the door) Joey wheres the pipe that was holding the door open?
Joey: (to Ross) Wanna play strip poker for practice?
Ross: Okay, Im gonna play my sperm card one more time.
Ross: Nope, nope, that's it.
Ross: I cannot sleep in a public place.
Ross: I can't belive you two had sex in her dream.
Ross: ..Dr. Oberman. Okay. And is he-
Ross: So, um, what do you do for a living?
Ross: Oh, I hope they're not ruined.
(He shuts the door and Ross and Monica fling cookies at it)
Ross: Hi! (Kisses his mom.) Hey mom.
Carol: Joey, Ross is gonna be here any second, would you mind watching Ben for me while I use the ladies' room?
Rachel: (freaks) Ross! Stop it! Come on!
Ross: Anyway it-it kinda-it all boils down to this, the last time I talked to Emily
Ross: I dont want people to see it for your sake.
(Everyone says no and folds, except for Ross, who thinks about it.)
Phoebe: Oh, hi, Mrs. Waltham. I need to speak with ether one of the best men, or Rosss sister Monica.
Ross: No but, no but.
Ross: That's easy for you to say, you found one already.
Ross: (Doing the spinning) Okay, Monica: Right foot red.
ROSS: Well this, this is too much, I feel like I should get you another sweater.
(She goes into her apartment and sees Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross sitting there.)
Ross: What's going on?
Ross: Well, howdya feel?
Ross: Oh, professor Clerk we're kind of in the middle of a conversation, here.
Ross: Because, because Ive got Ben.
(She goes to look out the window at Rosss apartment and sees Jill staring at her and closing the drapes with an evil look on her face. Rachel is stunned into silence.)
Ross: Ah, the lesser-known "I don't have a dream" speech.
Ross: Well, when you're subletting an apartment from your wife's cousin and then you get a divorce, sometimes the cousin suddenly wants his apartment back.
Ross: Oh, right, because he's a scientist!
Ross: (entering from the bathroom) Hey Pheebs, what's going on?
Ross: (on phone) Thats right, Ryder. Wynona Ryder for six. (listens) Thank you. (hangs up) (to the gang) Yeah, we have the reservations.
ROSS: I'm Ross Geller. Wha, I'm, God in your add you said you were pretty but wow.
Ross: Ah....
Ross: Um... uh.... vulva.
Ross: (embarrassed) Wha... what, here?
Ross: Joey, please.
Ross: (impressed) Wow.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Sure.
Ross: ....and....
Ross: I, er...
Ross: (wiping his brow) Ah...ooh! Well, looks like, uh, we kicked your butts.
Ross: (rushing to explain) Funny story!
Ross: (panicked) Er.... um.....