words in movies
[Scene: Moondance Diner. Ross, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are sitting at the counter, Monica is working. Monica is wearing her costume, including big fake breasts.]
ROSS: Question. Why do we always have to have parties where you poach things?
ROSS: Question two. Why do we always have to have parties with committees?
ROSS: Yeah.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are planning Rache's birthday party.]
ROSS: I talked to Rachel's sisters, neither of them can come.
ROSS: Hi honey, how did it go?
MONICA: Chandler could you at least send some women to my party? [buzzer goes off] Alright that's Ross.
ROSS: Thanks for being born.
ROSS: Oh, now you can exchange them if you want, ok.
[they kiss and Ross backs her into her apartment and turns on the lights]
ROSS: Really?
ROSS: All right.
ROSS: What?
[Ad break. Time lapse. Still at party at Chandler and Joey's. Rachel is talking to Chandler and Ross.]
ROSS: You know what, this is ridiculous, ok. This is your birthday, this is your party. I say we just put 'em all together and if they can't deal with it, who cares.
ROSS: That's who.
ROSS: Ok, do you have any ideas for any openers?
ROSS: Hi Dr. Greene. So, uh, how's everything in the uh, vascular surgery....game?
MR. GREENE: It's not a game Ross, a woman died on my table today.
ROSS: I'm sorry. See that's the good thing about my job. All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead.
ROSS: Oh, here, I, I'll get it for ya. Whad'ya want?
ROSS: Scotch. Alright, I'll be back in 10 seconds with your scotch on the rocks in a glass.
ROSS: Cool.
ROSS: I know.
MR. GREENE: Oh hello Ross, where have you been?
ROSS: Hi. Uh, I have been in the bathroom. Stay clear of the salmon mousse.
ROSS: Oh, mine too. Isn't that neat, scotch neat. Would you excuse me? [walks out in the hallway, Mr. Greene is walking out of Chandler and Joey's apartment] Hey, hey, where you uh, sneakin off to mister?
ROSS: No. no.
ROSS: No, um, see 'cause that, that is, that is the staging area. If you go in there, it'll ruin the whole illusion of the party. Yeah, I think you take your scotch back in there and I will get your cigarettes for you sir.
ROSS: All righty roo. [closes the door] What a great moment to say that for the first time. [goes to get the cigarettes and glasses]
MRS. GELLER: Ross, whose glasses are those?
ROSS: Mine.
ROSS: Um-hmm. [puts them on] I have a condition, apparently, that I require two different sets of focals.
ROSS: Neil Sedaka wears them.
ROSS: Ohh, big smoker. [Packs the cigarettes and flings one on Mrs. Greene in the process. Finally gets one in his mouth and it look really out of place] Big big smoker. In fact I'm gonna go ou into the hallway and fire up this bad boy. [as he walks into the hall, he comes face to face with Mr. Greene]
ROSS: Yes. [pulls them off and hands them to Mr. Greene] I was just warming up the earpieces for you.
ROSS: [pulls the cigarette off his upper lip and hands it to Mr. Greene] Yeah, yes it is, I was just moistening the tip.
CHANDLER: I, I know. [Hugs her. Ross walks out and Chandler puts her in his arms.]
[Mr. Greene opens the door to Chandler and Joeys apartment. Ross sees him and runs to the door forcing him back in then holds onto the door knob.]
MRS. GREENE: Ross, what're you doing.
ROSS: I'm getting ready for the water skiing. [Mr. Greene opens the door which pulls Ross in] How are you doing?
Ross: FOOTBALL!
Ross: Oh, man!
Ross: Who cares, AND?
(Ross spots Chandler and starts chasing him around the kitchen table. Chandler runs and hides behind Monica.)
Ross: And it's a wedding! It'd be weird if I'm not in it...
Ross: I'll do it!
Ross: (very excited) Yeah-uh!
Ross: Please, you're going down!
(Cut to Chandler and Ross. Phoebe comes out of the ladies room and they run toward her.)
Ross: So, what did you decide?
Ross: Rach, she’s got like three hairs!
Ross: I'll do it! (Monica approaches)
Ross: Well, I was thinking of taking Emma to the playground!
Emily: But Ross, Im such having a great time! Your sister has just been telling me that you used to dress up like little, old ladies and hold make-believe tea parties.
Ross: Yeah, it kinda grows on you. (They both laugh.) Actually, I wanted to finish talking to you about uh, spring vacation.
Ross: Yeah, yeah. Y'know, now that you kicked the sign, hey! I don't miss Marcel any more!
Ross: I like your bow.
Joey: (interrupting him) Uh Ross! Are there uh, are there naked chicks on that piece of paper?
(Ross enters the room)
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Where's Rach?
Ross: Hey, hey, hey... If you two are happy, then I'm happy for you. (Squeaky.) I'm fine!
Ross: I know what you mean, Ive always wondered how different my life would be if-if Id never gotten divorced.
Ross: I never did anything with Adrienne Turner.
Ross: I'm not! I'm making it easier! Pick me!
Ross: (waving his fist in the air in triumph) YES, YES!
Ross: Hey, yknow whats weird? After you guys get married, when you introduce me to people youre gonna have to say, "This is my brother-in-law Ross." Not, "My friend Ross," "brother-in-law Ross." Thats weird isnt it?
[Scene: The corridor. Ross and Joey have just arrived.]
Ross: She's putting words in your mouth!
Ross: Oh, I will.
[Scene: Rachels Room, she is taking the ring out of Rosss jacket, looks at it, and puts it on her finger as Joey enters.]
Ross: I'm not supposed to tell you!
Ross: Oh no. Dad! Dad! What (He goes to open one of her boxes and it rips apart.) Oh God everythings ruined! Dad, shes gonna be crushed!
Rachel: Ross, I have been walking around like this since the plane! I canyou have so crossed a line. (Heads for the bathroom)
(Ross and Chandler look shocked)
Ross: (skeptical) That doesn't sound like you... That's Monica talking!
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's room, Ross is drinking a beer while Rachel is examining herself in the mirror.]
[Scene: N.Y.U. Paleontology department, Ross is putting up the grades on the message board.]
Ross: Yeah, and to save you from any embarrassment umm, I think maybe I should talk first.
Chandler and Ross: I'll do it!
Ross: I'll...
Ross: Oh my God! What if, what if they get married? Then hed be the stepfather of my child.
Ross: Poor baby, youre so tired. Rach, I didnt propose to you, Joey didnt propose to you, and Chandler didnt propose to you.
Ross: (pointing at Amy, shouting) No more falafel for you!
Joey: Oh uh, hey. Not as good as this guy! (Grabs Ross around the shoulders.) He brought Twizlers!
Ross: It's the dog.
Ross: Hes right, even if its to say something complementary. (He stops and thinks about what he just said.)
Chandler: Oh come on Ross, I think were all losers here.
Rachel: Oh! Molly! You're not Ross.
Ross: Freaked out? Hey no, Im not freaked out! Im indignant! As a consumer!
Ross: Uh Joey...
Ross: Okay. (They split it.) You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school, I had a, um, major crush on you.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is hurrying Chloe out the door.]
Ross: (whispering) It was ok...
Ross: Joey, you shouldn't lie on your résumé.
Ross: (he enters) Hey.
Ross: You guys know where Rachel is?
Ross: Hey!
Rachel: Ross...
Ross: All right, you know that one was coming, but that doesnt mean you have unagi. (Does the finger thing.)
Ross: What? She's gonna eat all those cookies?
Ross: Oh my God.
Ross: Is-is he ok?
Rachel: What? Ross and Charlie? (Joey nods) Wow! She's really making her way through the group, huh? Ah, who am I to talk?
Ross: Oh!
Mona: No, its still wet. Yknow what? Let me get it out before it sets. Ooh, I have something you can wear. Here. (Hands him Rosss shirt.)
Ross: I'm feeling better.
Rachel: Oh, hey, I have an idea. Why don't we play rock-paper-scissors, and whoever loses goes in first. (they all agree) Ready? (they do the rock-paper-scissor thing with they hands and Rachel has paper, Phoebe and Ross both have rock, while Joey is doing a strange upward wiggling with his fingers. They all look a him confused).
Ross: Did the TV wake you?
Ross: I'm not scared of him, I'm really sick!
Rachel: Ross, please, don't be so scared of him!
Ross: Well, I came with Rachel, who should be back any second! (pause) So what's new?
Ross: Right, is it painful?
Ross: Nope, just the one. RACH!
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Wow.
Ross: Sorry. (Rachel sits on her bed). You ok?
Ross: Oh, yeah. Emma's doing great.
MONICA: Fortunately, it is me. And, they made me head of purchasing, thank you very much. Anyway, I just ran into Ross and Chandler downstairs, and they think we should go out and celebrate. You know, someplace nice.
Ross: What? No, no! Hey, hey, hey look...
Ross: Sure!
Ross: Oh, of course...
Ross: Me too. Come here. (They hug)
Ross: I I do, I do not love Rachel. Im gonna tell her right now about the whole thing so we can get this marriage annulled as fast as possible. Okay? Would I do that if I loved her?
Ross: No-no-no, no, umm, actually American surprise parties are-are-are very short. Its usually, "Surprise!" And then, "Oh my God, Im so surprisedgood-bye!"
Ross: I'll see you in the morning (he leaves).
Rachel: (singing) Love to love ya baby! Ow! Love to love ya baby! Ow! (There's a knock on the door, she turns off the music, puts on her robe, and goes to answer the door.) Love to love ya, baby! (There's another knock.) Darnit! (Looks through the peephole and turns on the lights.) Ugh. (She opens the door to Ross who's leaning against the door jam.)
(Ross stops the clock, signifying the end of the lightning round.)
Ross: You sure you're alright?
Monica: It's some of Richard's hair! (holds it close to Ross) What do I do with this?
Ross: You've been quiet all morning. Is everything okay?
Ross: (knew this was coming) There it is... (he comes back)
Ross: Hey, I was looking out for you.
ROSS: No, but, but I wanna be with you in spite of all those things.
Rachel: (To Ross) So you were in an I Hate Rachel club?
Phoebe: It's so weird seeing Ross and Rachel with a baby. It's just so grown up.
Ross: (waking up) What? (notices that there is now a beautiful woman sitting next to him)
Ross: High collar and baggy pants say Im a pro.
Ross: Yeah, anything goes, except ah, eye gouging and fish hooking.
RACH: Oh, look at me, look at me. Oh, I'm on a date with a really great guy, all I can think about is Ross and his cat and his... Julie. I just want to get over him. gosh, why can't I do that?