words in movies
[Scene: Moondance Diner. Ross, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are sitting at the counter, Monica is working. Monica is wearing her costume, including big fake breasts.]
ROSS: Question. Why do we always have to have parties where you poach things?
ROSS: Question two. Why do we always have to have parties with committees?
ROSS: Yeah.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are planning Rache's birthday party.]
ROSS: I talked to Rachel's sisters, neither of them can come.
ROSS: Hi honey, how did it go?
MONICA: Chandler could you at least send some women to my party? [buzzer goes off] Alright that's Ross.
ROSS: Thanks for being born.
ROSS: Oh, now you can exchange them if you want, ok.
[they kiss and Ross backs her into her apartment and turns on the lights]
ROSS: Really?
ROSS: All right.
ROSS: What?
[Ad break. Time lapse. Still at party at Chandler and Joey's. Rachel is talking to Chandler and Ross.]
ROSS: You know what, this is ridiculous, ok. This is your birthday, this is your party. I say we just put 'em all together and if they can't deal with it, who cares.
ROSS: That's who.
ROSS: Ok, do you have any ideas for any openers?
ROSS: Hi Dr. Greene. So, uh, how's everything in the uh, vascular surgery....game?
MR. GREENE: It's not a game Ross, a woman died on my table today.
ROSS: I'm sorry. See that's the good thing about my job. All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead.
ROSS: Oh, here, I, I'll get it for ya. Whad'ya want?
ROSS: Scotch. Alright, I'll be back in 10 seconds with your scotch on the rocks in a glass.
ROSS: Cool.
ROSS: I know.
MR. GREENE: Oh hello Ross, where have you been?
ROSS: Hi. Uh, I have been in the bathroom. Stay clear of the salmon mousse.
ROSS: Oh, mine too. Isn't that neat, scotch neat. Would you excuse me? [walks out in the hallway, Mr. Greene is walking out of Chandler and Joey's apartment] Hey, hey, where you uh, sneakin off to mister?
ROSS: No. no.
ROSS: No, um, see 'cause that, that is, that is the staging area. If you go in there, it'll ruin the whole illusion of the party. Yeah, I think you take your scotch back in there and I will get your cigarettes for you sir.
ROSS: All righty roo. [closes the door] What a great moment to say that for the first time. [goes to get the cigarettes and glasses]
MRS. GELLER: Ross, whose glasses are those?
ROSS: Mine.
ROSS: Um-hmm. [puts them on] I have a condition, apparently, that I require two different sets of focals.
ROSS: Neil Sedaka wears them.
ROSS: Ohh, big smoker. [Packs the cigarettes and flings one on Mrs. Greene in the process. Finally gets one in his mouth and it look really out of place] Big big smoker. In fact I'm gonna go ou into the hallway and fire up this bad boy. [as he walks into the hall, he comes face to face with Mr. Greene]
ROSS: Yes. [pulls them off and hands them to Mr. Greene] I was just warming up the earpieces for you.
ROSS: [pulls the cigarette off his upper lip and hands it to Mr. Greene] Yeah, yes it is, I was just moistening the tip.
CHANDLER: I, I know. [Hugs her. Ross walks out and Chandler puts her in his arms.]
[Mr. Greene opens the door to Chandler and Joeys apartment. Ross sees him and runs to the door forcing him back in then holds onto the door knob.]
MRS. GREENE: Ross, what're you doing.
ROSS: I'm getting ready for the water skiing. [Mr. Greene opens the door which pulls Ross in] How are you doing?
Ross: I want to go to the bathroom. (exits)
Ross: Wha? No no! Ah! (Ross scarfs all of his trifle down in about a second. He looks like hes going to throw up.) (Lying) All gone! So good! Maybe Chandler has some left.
Ross: Ugh, easy for you to say, you already know what your kids names are going to be.
Ross: Okay, hopefully this time mom wont boo you.
(They both run to rip the covers off the bed, but are interrupted by Ross.)
Ross: Not so good.
Ross: Yes!! I knew it!! (To the people who didn't make it.) Bye-bye! So long! Later!
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Yeah, it is.
Ross: Hey, y'know while were on that, when are you gonna tell my sister that you dont live here anymore.
Ross and Chandler: Hi!
Ross: No! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! You can have this back when the five pages are done! (After Joey walks past, Ross throws the ball down in pain.) Ahh! (Chandler shows him the burn spots on his oven mitts.)
Ross: Well, at least she's with Pop-Pop and Aunt Phyllis now.
Ross: What's up?
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Well, you just
Ross: What?!
Ross: Okay, well, that Wow, okay, well, umm then maybe, at least we can, we can talk about us again.
Ross: What?!
Rachel: What are you talking about Pheebs? (Takes out her compact) I don't (She gasps when she looks in the mirror and sees her face.) (To Ross) Oh my God, you drew on me?!
RACHEL: (as Ross) "Yeah.� That works for me." (Clears throat twice more.)
Ross: Yeah. (sees the bill) Op! Uh-oh! I think your Dad mustve added wrong. He only tipped like four percent.
Ross: Are you saying your kid eats soup better than my kid?
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Rach, uh, you still looking for a place?
Joey: (angrily) Ross!
Ross: (on phone) No-no-no, thats great! Ill be there Monday. And thank you again! (Listens) Okay. (Hangs up) (To All) Umm, that was the head of the Paleontology department at N uh, Y, uh U!
Ross: (outside the door) So Im gonna take off then!
Ross: Hey!
Ross: No!
Gary: Hey, it's okay. It was just a car backfire. (Joey slowly moves off of Ross.) Hey, look at that! You tried to save your buddy. You see that? You see what he did?
Ross: No.
Ross: There you go. Thank you!
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Yeah, itll be like a funny Thanksgiving story!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is getting ready for a date with Monica as Ross enters.]
Ross: There was one! She's it! All the rest look like they should live under a bridge!
Ross: What the hell was that?!
Ross: (backing away) I'm good.
Ross: Yeah, right.
Ross: Well
(Ross looks at Rachel.)
Ross: Uh, yknow what? Ill tell you who it hurts! It hurts the kid who has all his clothes stolen in gym class so he has to go to the principals office wearing nothing but a catchers mitt!
(In the hallway, Ross all dejected, sits down on the step.)
(Cut to Chandler, Ross and Roger sitting at the table. Ross is upset)
ROSS: Why, why, why can't you stand me being here? I don't, I, we're just, ya know, we're just havin' fun.
Ross: All right, I see what you guys are saying. I'll uh, I'll go downstairs and fill out an application.
Joey: Yeah, it is! You wouldnt have lost the ring, right? Yknow what, Ross you were right from the start, he (Chandler) should be your best man.
Ross: I will be! Listen, I dont want you teaching my son that stuff anymore. Okay?
Ross: Well, they painted over the word Sapien for one thing, then they rearranged the figures, lets just leave it at that.
Rachel: Oh Ross, honey you gotta stop torturing yourself!
Ross: I just, I had to see you one more time before you took-off.
Ross: No, she likes that. Yeah. Faking sleep doesnt work either, I cant tell you how many mornings I woke up with her...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's balcony, Ross and Phoebe are grilling some burgers and hot dogs.]
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Hey, that guy did not hypnotise me! Okay.
Ross: Really?!
Ross: Okay, you are totally making this up.
Ross: Ok, um, uh, more clothes in the dryer? (Ross turns and bangs his head on an open dryer door.) I'm fine, I'm fine.
Ross: And thank you, for that.
Ross: (while Rachel is finishing her rant) Okay! Okay! Okay! Its okay. (Rachel stops.) Its okay. Hey, its too weird for you, I wont see her again.
Ross: Anyway seriously, uh just just talk to the guy, okay? And tell me how it goes. (walks towards the door until )
Ross: What-what is love really?
Ross: (smiling) Are you sure?
Monica: Okay, you stay here, and just wait by the phone. Spray Lysol in my shoe, and wait for Ross to kill you.
Ross: Okay, how about, for a guy, Thatcher?
Chandler: Look, Ross, you have what you want, youre back with Rachel. If you bring this up now youre gonna wreck the best thing that even happened to you.
Ross: I'll get it! I will get that! (Runs over and opens the door.)
Ross: Do you like it?
Chandler: Well, I think, I think Ross knows about me and Monica.
Ross: Things you find in the ocean, (to Joey) You're gonna be on "Pyramid"!!
Ross: Actually Im a palian Dinosaurs is fine the drawing is not.
Ross: I dont know what youre talking about.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross has just finished playing.]
Ross: Exactly, itll be illegal for him to drink at his own bachelor party.
Ross: Yes, second in two years. Third overall.
Chandler: You know, Ross, some scientists are now saying that, that monkeys and babies are actually different.
Chandler: The guy was hammered, okay? Theres no way, you look like Rosss mother.
Ross: Gas? Wow! Intense.
Ross: They put that in.
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: (To All) Was I talking to her about gas?
(Ross closes the door slowly.)
Phoebe: (walking over to Ross) Ross?
Ross: Dont thank me! If you wanna thank something, thank the volcano that erupted thousands of years ago, killing but perfectly preserving an entire civilization. (Rachel just looks at him.) Heres Warrens number.
Monica and Ross: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 (Ross runs to be caught by Monica, but she moves out of the way)
Ross: (shaking head) Oh Joey, Joey! But still, I mean, it seems like you guys are having a great time together.
Ross: What do you mean?
Ross: Well that I can believe.
Ross: Hey, so uh, y'know how there's something I wanted to talk to you about?
Ross: Look, were just friends now! Okay? Why would I do anything stupid?
Rachel: So. Ross, Ive bugged him about this a million times, hes not gonna change.
Ross: (sits down at the table) Oh, eh, just thinking about Emily getting married tomorrow. (Joey panics.)
Ross: Hm-mmm.
(Ross returns.)
(He turns to get his coat and Monica gives Rachel and Phoebe two thumbs up as Chandler walks over to Ross.)
RACHEL: OK, Ross, listen to me, I am not yours to save.
Ross: What am I looking at?
Joey: Ooh, Ross, look! Look! (Points behind Ross.)
Ross: Me too!