words in movies
[Scene: Moondance Diner. Ross, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are sitting at the counter, Monica is working. Monica is wearing her costume, including big fake breasts.]
ROSS: Question. Why do we always have to have parties where you poach things?
ROSS: Question two. Why do we always have to have parties with committees?
ROSS: Yeah.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are planning Rache's birthday party.]
ROSS: I talked to Rachel's sisters, neither of them can come.
ROSS: Hi honey, how did it go?
MONICA: Chandler could you at least send some women to my party? [buzzer goes off] Alright that's Ross.
ROSS: Thanks for being born.
ROSS: Oh, now you can exchange them if you want, ok.
[they kiss and Ross backs her into her apartment and turns on the lights]
ROSS: Really?
ROSS: All right.
ROSS: What?
[Ad break. Time lapse. Still at party at Chandler and Joey's. Rachel is talking to Chandler and Ross.]
ROSS: You know what, this is ridiculous, ok. This is your birthday, this is your party. I say we just put 'em all together and if they can't deal with it, who cares.
ROSS: That's who.
ROSS: Ok, do you have any ideas for any openers?
ROSS: Hi Dr. Greene. So, uh, how's everything in the uh, vascular surgery....game?
MR. GREENE: It's not a game Ross, a woman died on my table today.
ROSS: I'm sorry. See that's the good thing about my job. All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead.
ROSS: Oh, here, I, I'll get it for ya. Whad'ya want?
ROSS: Scotch. Alright, I'll be back in 10 seconds with your scotch on the rocks in a glass.
ROSS: Cool.
ROSS: I know.
MR. GREENE: Oh hello Ross, where have you been?
ROSS: Hi. Uh, I have been in the bathroom. Stay clear of the salmon mousse.
ROSS: Oh, mine too. Isn't that neat, scotch neat. Would you excuse me? [walks out in the hallway, Mr. Greene is walking out of Chandler and Joey's apartment] Hey, hey, where you uh, sneakin off to mister?
ROSS: No. no.
ROSS: No, um, see 'cause that, that is, that is the staging area. If you go in there, it'll ruin the whole illusion of the party. Yeah, I think you take your scotch back in there and I will get your cigarettes for you sir.
ROSS: All righty roo. [closes the door] What a great moment to say that for the first time. [goes to get the cigarettes and glasses]
MRS. GELLER: Ross, whose glasses are those?
ROSS: Mine.
ROSS: Um-hmm. [puts them on] I have a condition, apparently, that I require two different sets of focals.
ROSS: Neil Sedaka wears them.
ROSS: Ohh, big smoker. [Packs the cigarettes and flings one on Mrs. Greene in the process. Finally gets one in his mouth and it look really out of place] Big big smoker. In fact I'm gonna go ou into the hallway and fire up this bad boy. [as he walks into the hall, he comes face to face with Mr. Greene]
ROSS: Yes. [pulls them off and hands them to Mr. Greene] I was just warming up the earpieces for you.
ROSS: [pulls the cigarette off his upper lip and hands it to Mr. Greene] Yeah, yes it is, I was just moistening the tip.
CHANDLER: I, I know. [Hugs her. Ross walks out and Chandler puts her in his arms.]
[Mr. Greene opens the door to Chandler and Joeys apartment. Ross sees him and runs to the door forcing him back in then holds onto the door knob.]
MRS. GREENE: Ross, what're you doing.
ROSS: I'm getting ready for the water skiing. [Mr. Greene opens the door which pulls Ross in] How are you doing?
Rachel: Well, oh, Mark, Im doing this for the wrong reasons, y'know? Im just doing it to get back at Ross. Im sorry, its not very fair to you.
Ross: You okay?
Ross: Well we-we dont know for sure. But in my head it-it sounded something like this. (He makes a high pitched noise and Alan doesnt know what to make of it.) Of course, this is just conjecture. Okay, thats uh, thats all for today. (Everyone starts to get up.) Uh Mr. Morse, can I see you for a moment?
(Ross and Susan each gesture for the other to lie down.)
Ross: Sorry.
Ross: Hi. Sorry Im late. Wheres, wheres Carol?
ROSS: [reading his list] Ok, ok, number one: The way you cry at game shows. Number two: how much you love your friends. Number three: the way you play with your hair when you're nervous. Number four: how brave you are for starting your life over. Number five: how great you are with Ben.
[Scene: Rachels Bedroom, Ross is finishing up her make-up.]
Paul: Neither of us like Ross!
Ross and Susan: What? What? What?
Ross: No... No... No. I think I should stay, I think we should both know whats going on.
Ross: I see. So what do you propose to do?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Monica are there.]
ROSS: Get away from me I said no!
Ross: No, no, no. The next time it's gonna be a Hawaii at sunset. [pause] But maybe the time after that!
Ross: Monica, youre so lucky! Hes like the most popular guy in school!!
Rachel: Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight with you Ross! Look, urrgh, maybe we should take a break.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, everyone minus Ross are arriving to inspect the damage. The fire department is still there.]
[Scene: A fancy restraunt (Marcel's). Joey, Ross, Chandler, Susie, and the Director's Assistant are there.]
[Time lapse, still Chandler and Monica's, but only Chandler is there. Enter Ross]
Joey: It's okay, Ross, alright? I totally understand. Of course you're not fine. You're.. You're Ross and Rachel.
Ross: Oh but I-I-I haven't paid you yet!
[Scene: The Lobby, Ross is eating a sandwich as Phoebe rushes up to him.]
Joey: I bet Ross was in on it too. I mean he was conveniently busy.
Ross: Yes but too me he's just, man.
Ross: Well, you can help me!
[Scene: Ross's building, Joey is knocking on a door again. It's again answered by Ross.]
Ross: Oh, you know the sex of the baby? Oh, oh-oh-oh!
Ross: College?
Ross: Susan, go deep.
Ross: Yeah, come on in. Molly?
Ross: Carol, honey, shhh, shhh, everythings gonna be alright.
(Ross is staring blankly into space.)
[Scene: The lobby in Ross's building, we see a flyer that is on the bulletin board that reads, "Are you the Hot Girl who waved at me? If so, give me a call!" and it's signed, Joey 629-9*** (The last couple of numbers have been ripped off). Anyhoo, Ross is getting his mail.]
Ross: Im gonna be a father.
Rachel: So, I still have boxes here. I still have boxes at Rosss, and I have nowhere to live! Wow. I could so easily freak out right now.
Phoebe: (looking through the pizzas) Okay pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni, okay Ross, I know she's pretty and you love her, but is she stupid?! She forgot my vegetarian!
Ross: I'm having a boy! I-I'm having a boy!
Ross: No-no! Ill-Ill (He takes too much and some falls out of his mouth, which starts him laughing.)
Ross: Right. I guess, I guess I should call Emily.
(Ross enters, carrying lasagna)
Ross: You take your time.
Ross: Tonight.
[Ross makes a sorry face.]
Ross: Uh, yeah! I still cant believe she hates Pottery Barn!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Phoebe are there as Rachel and Ross return from the doctors appointment.]
(Everyone stands up. Cut to Ross and Monica in Nana's room.)
Ross: Oh, we just...
Joey: Here, I got five, I got five. (Ross takes the money)
Ross: Come here, Marcel. Sit here. (Marcel wanders off)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there as Ross enters with his all his hair sticking straight up.]
Ross: No, no, Dad, I was just wondering.
ROSS: I'm sorry, my pie was, was in your hood. Now I just have to get the coffee out of that guy's pants and I'll be back in the hospital by 7. [swats at an imaginary insect by his head, guy leaves promptly]
Ross: Oh my god! I'm so sorry, Cheryl. I must have freaked out.
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Phoebe and Ross enter the room.]
Ross: Ah, mustve been fairly obvious since it was the only thing left in your store.
Ross (on the verge of tears): I'm sorry, it must be the pressure of entertaining. I think everyone would feel better if we had some flan.
Rachel: Okay. Um ButOkay, yes Ross and I used to date. And yes we are gonna have a baby. But we are definitely not getting back together.
Ross: No, I missed and hit the door. But, it opened really hard!
Ross: What, you, you really quit your job?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are there. Monica is checking the messages.]
Ross: Would you all relax? It's not that big a deal.
Ross: One-Mississippi, two-Mississippi, switch! Switch! Switch!!
Ross: When I happened to look through the window and I see you kissing a guy you know, for what? A week?
Phoebe: Ross says hi.
Ross: Yeah, if youre really hungry. (Dr. Green stares at him) It was a joke, I made a joke.
Ross: Right. Okay, lets play. Lets go.
Ross: I'm gonna have to give him up.
Ross: Umm, candles, champagne, yeah anniversaries are great. Cause you know love lasts forever, y'know. Nothing like it in this lifetime, money in the bank, so Rachel and I broke up.
Ross: Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... (stops suddenly and turns to look at Monica) Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?!
Ross: Maybe not.
Ross and Chandler: Hey!
Ross: Like buddies.
Ross: (looking at the coffee table where his money was) Hey umm, was-was Monica here?
Ross: Well did you try calling her?
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on. He's happily married. His wife just had twins.
Ross: Yes. Yes. Yes! Yes, I really do! In fact, it's funny, very often, someone who you wouldn't think could-could curl your toes, might just be the one who...
Ross: Thats right Lydia, Elizabeth here is a student and uh, were dating. And you may frown upon that, but were not gonna hide it anymore.
Ross: (To Monica) Lets grab our stuff and get the hell out of here.
Chandler: I do not hate Ross!
Chandler: Marry me. (Both Ross and Chandler hit him.)
Ross: Uh-huh.
Monica: Then you two can, can sneak into the cockpit, and things will start to heat up, and then a stewardess comes in (Ross looks at her.) Ive been watching too much porn.
Ross: D'ya.. uh.. d'ya need any help?
Ross: So you guys having any luck getting rid of the entertainment center?
Ross: Okay, maybe this is so hard, because there aren't 50 states. Let me tell you something, I have 49 states, and there are no more! I-I think, I should be able to eat something.
Ross: Um. I know it says black tie optional, but, um this may be pushing it a little, um.
Ross: (apparently unruffled) Oh. Can I... can I ask who?
Rachel: Ok. Oh God. (To Ross) Get the camera, it’s in the diaper bag.
Ross: And where she's going everyone else'll be dressier?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is ordering something over the phone from a catalog.]
(He happily gestures at Chandler that there was nothing to worry about, then exits. Rachel and Monica are concerned for poor Phoebe, who slides back down next to Ross.)
Ross: He looks so tiny.
Ross: Look, I'm sorry to hear about your tragedy, ok? But the swings are perfectly safe, and besides Emma loves them. You know what, you should come with us and you'll see!
Ross: No, why?
Chandler and Ross: Hey.
Ross: Yeah, hey I-I have clothes, I even pick them out. I mean for, for all you know I could be a fashion..... monger.
CHAN: Does anyone have one from a different paper? Ross, read yours.
[Scene: The Roof, Ross and Joey are banging on the door.]
Ross: What?