words in movies
[Scene: Moondance Diner. Ross, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are sitting at the counter, Monica is working. Monica is wearing her costume, including big fake breasts.]
ROSS: Question. Why do we always have to have parties where you poach things?
ROSS: Question two. Why do we always have to have parties with committees?
ROSS: Yeah.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are planning Rache's birthday party.]
ROSS: I talked to Rachel's sisters, neither of them can come.
ROSS: Hi honey, how did it go?
MONICA: Chandler could you at least send some women to my party? [buzzer goes off] Alright that's Ross.
ROSS: Thanks for being born.
ROSS: Oh, now you can exchange them if you want, ok.
[they kiss and Ross backs her into her apartment and turns on the lights]
ROSS: Really?
ROSS: All right.
ROSS: What?
[Ad break. Time lapse. Still at party at Chandler and Joey's. Rachel is talking to Chandler and Ross.]
ROSS: You know what, this is ridiculous, ok. This is your birthday, this is your party. I say we just put 'em all together and if they can't deal with it, who cares.
ROSS: That's who.
ROSS: Ok, do you have any ideas for any openers?
ROSS: Hi Dr. Greene. So, uh, how's everything in the uh, vascular surgery....game?
MR. GREENE: It's not a game Ross, a woman died on my table today.
ROSS: I'm sorry. See that's the good thing about my job. All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead.
ROSS: Oh, here, I, I'll get it for ya. Whad'ya want?
ROSS: Scotch. Alright, I'll be back in 10 seconds with your scotch on the rocks in a glass.
ROSS: Cool.
ROSS: I know.
MR. GREENE: Oh hello Ross, where have you been?
ROSS: Hi. Uh, I have been in the bathroom. Stay clear of the salmon mousse.
ROSS: Oh, mine too. Isn't that neat, scotch neat. Would you excuse me? [walks out in the hallway, Mr. Greene is walking out of Chandler and Joey's apartment] Hey, hey, where you uh, sneakin off to mister?
ROSS: No. no.
ROSS: No, um, see 'cause that, that is, that is the staging area. If you go in there, it'll ruin the whole illusion of the party. Yeah, I think you take your scotch back in there and I will get your cigarettes for you sir.
ROSS: All righty roo. [closes the door] What a great moment to say that for the first time. [goes to get the cigarettes and glasses]
MRS. GELLER: Ross, whose glasses are those?
ROSS: Mine.
ROSS: Um-hmm. [puts them on] I have a condition, apparently, that I require two different sets of focals.
ROSS: Neil Sedaka wears them.
ROSS: Ohh, big smoker. [Packs the cigarettes and flings one on Mrs. Greene in the process. Finally gets one in his mouth and it look really out of place] Big big smoker. In fact I'm gonna go ou into the hallway and fire up this bad boy. [as he walks into the hall, he comes face to face with Mr. Greene]
ROSS: Yes. [pulls them off and hands them to Mr. Greene] I was just warming up the earpieces for you.
ROSS: [pulls the cigarette off his upper lip and hands it to Mr. Greene] Yeah, yes it is, I was just moistening the tip.
CHANDLER: I, I know. [Hugs her. Ross walks out and Chandler puts her in his arms.]
[Mr. Greene opens the door to Chandler and Joeys apartment. Ross sees him and runs to the door forcing him back in then holds onto the door knob.]
MRS. GREENE: Ross, what're you doing.
ROSS: I'm getting ready for the water skiing. [Mr. Greene opens the door which pulls Ross in] How are you doing?
ROSS: Oh, you're right, I'm sorry.
ROSS: Hello, it's us, all right? It'll be fine.
ROSS: That's a good point.
ROSS: I hear ya.
Ross: No, come on, he doesnt know this stuff. If he knew how you felt.
Monica: Am I doing here? Why? Surprised to see me? Ross brought me. How do you like that?!
Jill: No! They did! (Points to Phoebe and Ross)
ROSS: Whoo!
Ross: All right, I'll see you guys later.
Ross: Me too. So much for my dinosaur/Amelia Earhart theme park.
ROSS: Come on.
Ross: Uh-uh. See, I see.... big passion in your future.
ROSS: Chandler!
Ross: Youre just saying that 'cause I said no to your name!
ROSS: Whoa! You had sex today?
ROSS: Fine.
ROSS: Wow.
Ross: You were incredible! Brand new woman, ladies and gentlemen.
ROSS: Ross.
ROSS: What guys? Oh, yeah.
ROSS: Hey, you guys.
ROSS: Excellent, that was excellent.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its after Ross and Joeys talk with Frank, and Phoebes is finding out what happened.]
ROSS: Oh, thank you, thanks. So uh, how was your night last night?
Ross: Come on, they're gonna love you.
Ross: I dont think so. Hello? (Knocks on the glass, which angers the big, large, angry dog behind the glass and causes them to jump to the other side of the landing.) When you get in there (Joey nods his disapproval.)
ROSS: Come on, don't do this.
Ross: Well, excuse her for knowing what she wants to do with her life!
Ross: Okay. (goes over to the counter) (to Chandler) What ah, what is the matter with you? Whats going on?
JOEY: Are you ok, Ross?
ROSS: Ugh.
Chandler: (reading the paper) Says here that a muppet got whacked on Seasame Street last night. (to Ross) Where exactly were around ten-ish?
Ross: No, no, no. Don't do that! I want you to look her in the eyes, and tell her the truth.
Ross: (deadpan) Please be kidding.
Ross: My doctoral dissertation is in the library at school, I went to see it, and there were students makin babies right in the middle of the Paleontology section!
Ross: My mommies love me. That's clever.
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, shes pacing as Ross knocks on her door and opens it a little to stick his hands in.]
Ross: What?! The guys against the girls? See, thats ridiculous Monica, because Im only down by three touchdowns.
ROSS: Tho?
ROSS: Ohhh.
ROSS: Ok.
ROSS: [to Joey who's looking over a toilet stall] Joey, some people don't like that.
Ross: I'll do it. Hey, whatever you need me to do, I'm your man. (He starts to sit down on the bed. There's one problem though, he's about two feet to the left of it. Needless to say, he misses and falls on his butt.) (Looking up at Joey.) Whoa-oh-whoa! Are you, are you okay?
Ross: Well, I think it's perfect. Y'know, it's just gonna be the two of us, she spent all day taking care of my monkey...
RACHEL: Oh God, Ross.� Ross is going to pick up the phone.� Oh, I have to get my number back.� (She turns to find Bill, but they have gone.)� Oh my God.� He's gone.
Susan and Ross: (even louder) Help!
Ross: (getting up) Okay! Fine! Fine! If-if this is what you think, forget about the whole three divorce thing! Okay, I-Ill go to my lawyers office right now and get this marriage annulled! Okay?! Because she means nothing to me! Noth(leans down to Megs ear)Nothing!!
Rachel: Its a trifle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch. [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] Then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef saut�ed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
Paulo: (entering) Hey, hey Ross.
ROSS: Oh.
Ross: Wh-wh-what line? The line that prompted a student in my last class of the day to say uh, (In a college frat boy voice) "Dude, dont you ever was your face?"
Ross: I I dont know what you are talking about.
Chandler: (entering) Oh good, okay, I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore. So you win, okay? Here! (Hands him the 50 bucks he's about to owe him.) Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship so that you can get back to your home planet! And Ross, phone call for you today, Tom Jones, he wants his pants back! And Hornswoggle? What are you dating a character from Fraggile Rock?! (He sits down and sighs in relief.)
Ross: Rachel says sharing's great and supposedly, you know, we outta be doing it. Do you wanna?
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Chandler and Joey are there. Ross enters with a pizza.]
[Scene: Rosss birthday, night has fallen and Joey and Ross are walking by where his car is parked to find that both cars blocking him in have left.]
Joey (to Ross): You know, I had a chance to stop her too!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, time lapse, Ross is entering. Chandler and Monica are at the kitchen table. Rachel is on the couch reading.]
Joey: Ross, how could you let this happen?
Rachel: Please. If she said to you, "Ross, I want you on this couch, right here, right now," what would you say?
ROSS: Hi guys.
ROSS: Uh huh.
Ross: (chasing her, trying to zip up his pants. His got them on right now.) No, wait! Emily! No, wait, stop! Emily, please(He catches something important in the zipper and howls like a little boy and falls to the floor.)
Rachel: Ross? All this time? Well, I've got to talk to him. (gets up to leave)
Ross: Mind if I mute?
[Scene: Central Perk. Some time later that day. The group has left and Charlie is there when Ross enters.]
Ross: Ah, well, in here, anyone who... stands erect... So what's new? Still, uh...
Ross: (looking at them) Wh-what's going on?
Ross: I thought, uh... it was a fifty cent limit.
Ross: Nice. And by the way that uh, that line down my face?
Ross: So does-does Joey know youre moving?
(Rachel looks at Ross, who motions to her to get the cart back.)
Ross: What? A dog? No! Rachel gets to choose.
Monica: So why-why wasnt Rosss stuff ruined? (Pause) And if you say the words medical marvel Im going to Easy Bake your head!
Ross: Look Ben, it's a toy that protects U.S. oil interests overseas!
Rachel: Yeah, you know, was I looking forward to going to Paris? Sure. You know, was I excited about working in the fashion capital of the world? Ooh, absolutely... Oh...! Yeah, but you know, this is... it's fine. I'm fine going back to a job where I've pretty much gotten everything out of that I possibly can... (she sits down, and Ross who is stunned to hear all this follows her example)
ROSS: Please tell me you're joking.
ROSS: You're over me?
Rachel: (as Ross enters with a present) But, but, Mona, I live here.
ROSS: You've had feelings for me?
ROSS: Wha... you're uh, you're, you're over me?
ROSS: Yep.
ROSS: Chandler. When did he... when did he... when did he?
ROSS: Cat. [leaves]
ROSS: You ever figure out what that thing's for?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is just hanging up the phone as Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
Ross: Hmmm-mmmm.
ROSS: Buy mommy.
ROSS: Fine.
ROSS: Good.
ROSS: Have a good time. Ok, Ben.
Ross: Wow! Im honored! And yknow what Im gonna do as my first act as your best friend?
MONICA: Ross.
ROSS: Yeah.
ROSS: Yeah.
Ross: She brought them up! (pause) I didn't realize you were coming back so soon!
Ross: No, no. This will always be your place. It would be too sad. Plus, how much a month does it cost to feed Joey?
ROSS: Hi.
Ross: And confused. Rach, sweetie, I-I um I didnt propose to you.
Ross: Yeah, okay. (he plops down into one of the leather chairs, with the footrest extended.)