words in movies
[Scene: Moondance Diner. Ross, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are sitting at the counter, Monica is working. Monica is wearing her costume, including big fake breasts.]
ROSS: Question. Why do we always have to have parties where you poach things?
ROSS: Question two. Why do we always have to have parties with committees?
ROSS: Yeah.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are planning Rache's birthday party.]
ROSS: I talked to Rachel's sisters, neither of them can come.
ROSS: Hi honey, how did it go?
MONICA: Chandler could you at least send some women to my party? [buzzer goes off] Alright that's Ross.
ROSS: Thanks for being born.
ROSS: Oh, now you can exchange them if you want, ok.
[they kiss and Ross backs her into her apartment and turns on the lights]
ROSS: Really?
ROSS: All right.
ROSS: What?
[Ad break. Time lapse. Still at party at Chandler and Joey's. Rachel is talking to Chandler and Ross.]
ROSS: You know what, this is ridiculous, ok. This is your birthday, this is your party. I say we just put 'em all together and if they can't deal with it, who cares.
ROSS: That's who.
ROSS: Ok, do you have any ideas for any openers?
ROSS: Hi Dr. Greene. So, uh, how's everything in the uh, vascular surgery....game?
MR. GREENE: It's not a game Ross, a woman died on my table today.
ROSS: I'm sorry. See that's the good thing about my job. All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead.
ROSS: Oh, here, I, I'll get it for ya. Whad'ya want?
ROSS: Scotch. Alright, I'll be back in 10 seconds with your scotch on the rocks in a glass.
ROSS: Cool.
ROSS: I know.
MR. GREENE: Oh hello Ross, where have you been?
ROSS: Hi. Uh, I have been in the bathroom. Stay clear of the salmon mousse.
ROSS: Oh, mine too. Isn't that neat, scotch neat. Would you excuse me? [walks out in the hallway, Mr. Greene is walking out of Chandler and Joey's apartment] Hey, hey, where you uh, sneakin off to mister?
ROSS: No. no.
ROSS: No, um, see 'cause that, that is, that is the staging area. If you go in there, it'll ruin the whole illusion of the party. Yeah, I think you take your scotch back in there and I will get your cigarettes for you sir.
ROSS: All righty roo. [closes the door] What a great moment to say that for the first time. [goes to get the cigarettes and glasses]
MRS. GELLER: Ross, whose glasses are those?
ROSS: Mine.
ROSS: Um-hmm. [puts them on] I have a condition, apparently, that I require two different sets of focals.
ROSS: Neil Sedaka wears them.
ROSS: Ohh, big smoker. [Packs the cigarettes and flings one on Mrs. Greene in the process. Finally gets one in his mouth and it look really out of place] Big big smoker. In fact I'm gonna go ou into the hallway and fire up this bad boy. [as he walks into the hall, he comes face to face with Mr. Greene]
ROSS: Yes. [pulls them off and hands them to Mr. Greene] I was just warming up the earpieces for you.
ROSS: [pulls the cigarette off his upper lip and hands it to Mr. Greene] Yeah, yes it is, I was just moistening the tip.
CHANDLER: I, I know. [Hugs her. Ross walks out and Chandler puts her in his arms.]
[Mr. Greene opens the door to Chandler and Joeys apartment. Ross sees him and runs to the door forcing him back in then holds onto the door knob.]
MRS. GREENE: Ross, what're you doing.
ROSS: I'm getting ready for the water skiing. [Mr. Greene opens the door which pulls Ross in] How are you doing?
Ross: That little naked guy would be me.
Ross: Got me.
Ross: (looking) Nono, that would be me again.
Ross: (running into the hall, in slow motion) You'll never get me, Joe!!! (he then pretends that he gets shot repeatedly and falls back against Joey and Chandler's door, dead.)
<Everyone is shocked and Monica faints and Ross catches her>
(Ross laughs.)
Ross: (quietly) Dude!
Ross: Hey!
Chandler: No, no, Ross and Rachel will be back soon and then I gotta go to the office (Pulls another balloon out of his mouth) Am I producing them?
Ross: You cant do that!
Ross: Well, why dont you just start with something simple. Like umm, Monica from the moment I met you, I knew I loved you.
Ross: Okay, do-do you have a good grip?
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Only way to fly.
Rachel: So it seemed that my prom date had stood me up, so Ross selflessly, offered to take me.
Ross: No way!
Ross: HEY, SHE'S FAST!! OKAY?!! (Chandler is so shocked at Ross's outburst that he drops his spoon and backs up) Oh! You-you think you can be beat me? Let's go! Outside!!
Ross: What do you think youre doing?!
(Ross shuts it off and they get out.)
Rachel: So Joey I just hooked Ross and Chandler up with some tuxedos for the wedding, do you need one?
Ross: With you?! Yeah right!
Ross: So thats the only reason she could be here huh? It couldnt have anything to do with the fact that-that maybe Im a good listener and I uh I put on a great slide show!
Ross: Dad, dad, dad, I'm talkin' about the whole uh, baby thing. Did you uh, ever get this sort of... panicky, "Oh my god I'm gonna be a father" kind of a thing?
Ross: Please don't take her away from me!
MONICA: [to Ross] Looks like he's playin' baseball.
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, Rachel is trying to put on eye liner with her left hand, as Ross is setting out her shoes.]
Joey: Come on, Ross, that didnt mean anything! She just had the baby, she was all freaked out about doing it alone, she would have said yes to anybody.
Ross: Yeah, Ill get right on that.
Ross: Here it comes.
Ross: What can I say, you missed your chance. From now on the only person whos going to enjoy these bad boys (holds up his hands) is me. (Quickly realizes what he said and exits disgustedly.)
Ross: Dear Lord!!
Ross: Oh my God.
Ross: Well she should, it was taken ten years ago!
Ross: I can handle the stick!!
Ross: Who?
Ross: People need juice!
Ross: What?! What does he want?! I wasnt doing anything!
Carol: (running over and grabbing the phone away from Ross) (on phone) Phoebe, hang on a second. (Hands Ross her keys) Here, take my car, go pick up your friends.
Ross: Good evening officer.
Ross: I know. I know.
Ross: (mortified) Hi.
[Time lapse, Ross still laying a lot out the states.]
Ross: Oh, where are you guys going?
Ross: Nope.
Chandler: Do I still call you Ross?
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: No problem.
Rachel: (seeing Ross and Bonnie inside Central Perk) Oh my God! Phoebe look, its Ross and that girl.
ROSS: OK, got the music, got the dinner. Oh and check it out, I made Marcel's favorite dish, banannacake.
ROSS: That, that is funny. That is painfully funny. No, wait. Wait, yeah, that's just painful
Ross: Well I am that. And that whole rage thing is definitely behind me.
[Cut to Mona and Joey clearing the dining room table for the grudge match between Chandler and Ross.]
Ross: Thanks. (he takes the card) Hey, I know where this place is! It used to be an X-rated video... (pauses when he realizes what he is saying) florist. (he goes away)
Ross: Dude! How-how did you write this?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, his massage client is on the table and Ross is reluctantly starting his massage. He spreads some lotion in his hands, and doesnt like it.]
Ross: I gotta get going. Bye Chandler.
[Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Geller talking to Ross.]
ROSS: No, you let me fini...
Mr Zelner: That’s great. I worry about little Ross. He’s always reading, he's collecting rocks and he’s obsessed with dinosaurs.
Mr. Geller: Doctor Ross Geller.
ROSS: Better not be doin' these in order.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is entering and Mona from the wedding recognizes him.]
Ross: Hey, wheres Chandler?
Ross: (walks down the stairs and grabs the flowers out of the vase on the endtable) Okay dad.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Is uh, is Monica here?
Ross: He left that.
(Ross laughs and Phoebe points harder.)
Ross: (scared) I will, I will find him.
Ross: (pause) I think on some level, you-you sabotaged your own audition so that Ben would get the part.
Ross: Oh damn!
Ross: Gunther have you uh, have you seen Chandler?
Ross: Yes. Yes. Dont worry. Everythings fine. Well uh, well see you tomorrow at the wedding.
Ross: Why?!
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, continued from earlier. Ross and Mr. Geller are still deciding what to do.]
Ross: (shocked) Gunther?!
Ross: What? Your-your list?
Ross: (sitting down) Hey, what are you guys, what are you guys talking about?
Joey: (approaching) Ross, hey, the bands ready outside for your first dance with Emily, so
Ross: Come on thats not fair! I mean you havent even heard me play!
Ross: Your joke? Well, I think the Hef would disagree, which is why he sent me a check for one hundred ah-dollars.
Rachel: (closing the door) Ross said theres still no word from Chandler.
Rachel: Ross, things aren't gonna be weird between us, right? I mean was that just the stupidest thing, me telling you that?
Ross: Look, I don't care it starts at eight, we can't be late.
Ross: No! Hey! Hey! We cant!
Ross: Why?!
Ross: Give me two.
Ross: Okay, wish me luck.
Phoebe: Ross, youre being ridiculous! Okay? You are cute and smart and sweet and that is much more important than three stupid divorces!
Ross: All right, try pedaling.
Ross: That is an old, Chinese woman!
Ross: Uh-huh. Yeah I-I have a knack for impressions.
Ross: So this is your office?
Ross: Whats wrong with being the Bings?
Ross: For what? For letting you throw me out of your office?
Ross: Then you are neither of your parents!
(Scene 4: Everyone in the hall outside Mr. Heckles' door. Ross is carrying the box of bananas. He bangs on the door)
Ross: Okay. Okay. (To the nurse behind the desk.) Umm hi, this is Rachel Green. Im Ross Geller. We-we called from the car.
Ross: I was up all night writing this really nasty letter to Emily! It was perfect and now it's all covered in-in (The duck quacks.) Actually, thanks!
Sandy: I really do understand how hard it's gotta be to leave your child with another person. I mean, it's leaving behind a piece of your heart... (Ross has got that bored/angry/skeptic look and Rachel is very emotional)