words in movies
[Scene: Moondance Diner. Ross, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are sitting at the counter, Monica is working. Monica is wearing her costume, including big fake breasts.]
ROSS: Question. Why do we always have to have parties where you poach things?
ROSS: Question two. Why do we always have to have parties with committees?
ROSS: Yeah.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are planning Rache's birthday party.]
ROSS: I talked to Rachel's sisters, neither of them can come.
ROSS: Hi honey, how did it go?
MONICA: Chandler could you at least send some women to my party? [buzzer goes off] Alright that's Ross.
ROSS: Thanks for being born.
ROSS: Oh, now you can exchange them if you want, ok.
[they kiss and Ross backs her into her apartment and turns on the lights]
ROSS: Really?
ROSS: All right.
ROSS: What?
[Ad break. Time lapse. Still at party at Chandler and Joey's. Rachel is talking to Chandler and Ross.]
ROSS: You know what, this is ridiculous, ok. This is your birthday, this is your party. I say we just put 'em all together and if they can't deal with it, who cares.
ROSS: That's who.
ROSS: Ok, do you have any ideas for any openers?
ROSS: Hi Dr. Greene. So, uh, how's everything in the uh, vascular surgery....game?
MR. GREENE: It's not a game Ross, a woman died on my table today.
ROSS: I'm sorry. See that's the good thing about my job. All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead.
ROSS: Oh, here, I, I'll get it for ya. Whad'ya want?
ROSS: Scotch. Alright, I'll be back in 10 seconds with your scotch on the rocks in a glass.
ROSS: Cool.
ROSS: I know.
MR. GREENE: Oh hello Ross, where have you been?
ROSS: Hi. Uh, I have been in the bathroom. Stay clear of the salmon mousse.
ROSS: Oh, mine too. Isn't that neat, scotch neat. Would you excuse me? [walks out in the hallway, Mr. Greene is walking out of Chandler and Joey's apartment] Hey, hey, where you uh, sneakin off to mister?
ROSS: No. no.
ROSS: No, um, see 'cause that, that is, that is the staging area. If you go in there, it'll ruin the whole illusion of the party. Yeah, I think you take your scotch back in there and I will get your cigarettes for you sir.
ROSS: All righty roo. [closes the door] What a great moment to say that for the first time. [goes to get the cigarettes and glasses]
MRS. GELLER: Ross, whose glasses are those?
ROSS: Mine.
ROSS: Um-hmm. [puts them on] I have a condition, apparently, that I require two different sets of focals.
ROSS: Neil Sedaka wears them.
ROSS: Ohh, big smoker. [Packs the cigarettes and flings one on Mrs. Greene in the process. Finally gets one in his mouth and it look really out of place] Big big smoker. In fact I'm gonna go ou into the hallway and fire up this bad boy. [as he walks into the hall, he comes face to face with Mr. Greene]
ROSS: Yes. [pulls them off and hands them to Mr. Greene] I was just warming up the earpieces for you.
ROSS: [pulls the cigarette off his upper lip and hands it to Mr. Greene] Yeah, yes it is, I was just moistening the tip.
CHANDLER: I, I know. [Hugs her. Ross walks out and Chandler puts her in his arms.]
[Mr. Greene opens the door to Chandler and Joeys apartment. Ross sees him and runs to the door forcing him back in then holds onto the door knob.]
MRS. GREENE: Ross, what're you doing.
ROSS: I'm getting ready for the water skiing. [Mr. Greene opens the door which pulls Ross in] How are you doing?
Ross: Permission to veto.
Ross: (from outside the bathroom) Hello?
Ross: Well In-in case of emergency.
Monica: I dont know! Time to kiss a guy maybe?! (Ross laughs.) What are you laughing at Pampers? (He stops laughing and glares at her.)
Ross: The one that always stares at me when I come in?
[Scene: The Recovery Room, Ross is taking pictures of Rachel holding the baby as the rest of the gang enters.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Ross, Monica, and now Chandler are still playing catch. The guys are exhausted and sitting around the room. Monica is still standing all pumped up and being hyper-competitive yet again. {Okay! We get it! She's competitive!! Must we see all the time?!}]
Ross: (not paying attention) Yeah, they dont like you.
Ross: No, wait ! You guys, no, no, you can't leave! Rachel already feels bad that the cake's messed up. How do you think she's gonna feel when she comes back here and all you guys are gone?
Ross: A lot of people are thankful for those. < knock on door>
[Cut to Ross in one of those British phone booths.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Rachel are there as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Hello! I'm in the front seat, okay? I'm Gary's partner!
Joey: Hey Ross! The babys kicking!
ROSS: Well because I have to work on Monday, I have a big presentation.
Ross: I was talking to myself! Youre going down!
Ross and Rachel while looking at each other surprised and shocked: Jill?
Rachel: Ross, I'm telling you, she's giving up getting her eyebrows (points at her own to emphasize the word) shaped to do this alright? Do you understand how important that is in our world?
Ross: No! For all I know, shes trying to find me but couldnt because I kept moving around. No, from now on, Im staying in one place. (He sits down on the bed.) Right here.
[Scene: The museums worker cafeteria, Joey is eating lunch with the rest of the tour guides. Another tour guide tries to sit down in a seat Joey saved for Ross.]
Ross: What? Why? Whats wrong?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are talking to Frank.]
Ross: (rushes in) Is everything okay?
Ross: No IMona!
Joey: (seeing Ross) Oh hey-hey!
Ross: No really, you tell me whats up.
Ross: (To Joey) So, thanks so much for bringing her to the hospital.
Ross: Not for the next few minutes.
<Ross goes into Rachel's room>
Ross: Hey where-where are the pictures that creepy pretzel vendor took of us together?
Ross: Hi. I understand you had a little talk with Emily.
Ross: Well yeah!
Ross: What?! What?! Rach what?!
Ross: Hey uh, I brought you some lunch.
Rachel: Oh Ross!! (Runs to the bathroom and closes the door.)
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: My dad wanted to know if you wanted to play racquetball with us.
Ross: Baby got back (Then Ross turns around and sees their friends standing in the doorway)
Ross: Really?
Monica: Well actually, Ross doesn't.
Phoebe: Ross, please! My make-up! (He walks away angrily.)
Rachel: Ross, please, this is a hospital, ok? That actually means something here.
Ross: You know, Barracuda was the first song I learned to play on the keyboard.
Ross: Uh, Im going to take off.
Ross: What is it?
Ross: Hey, whats behind your back?
Ross: I think Chandlers gone. (He hands her the note.)
Ross: You dont want my opinion?
Ross: (quietly) The red one.
Ross: I whitened them.
Rachel: Look, I am so so happy for you guys, but you getting married just reminds me of the fact that Im not. Im not even close. And I dont know, maybe I just wanted to make myself feel better. And I know that thats dumb, but oh my God you were so depressed when Ross got married that you slept with Chandler!
Ross: Hey. We-we look we look pretty good.
Ross: Who needs a lease when it's family!
Ross: Veto. Helen?
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Well I dont know umm, (Pause) what if we were too tie each other up? (Carols shocked and obviously doesnt like that idea.) Umm, some people eat stuff off one another. (Carol doesnt like that idea either.) Nah! Umm, yknow we-we could try dirty talk? (Carol still says no.) Umm, we could, we could have a threesome.
Ross: (grabbing the car) Okay! Okay! Okay! (He gets in, but into the back seat.)
Ross: I do too! I missed you!
Ross: Hey! (they hug) So, how was Atlantic City?
Ross: That does make sense. Because I do wanna seize some opportunity, but I-I really don't wanna see or talk to her.
Ross: What?
Ross: (not amused) Huh uh-huh.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are there as Ross enters.]
Ross: Ever?!
Ross: Hey Amy.
Rachel: Oh Amy, you remember Ross.
Ross: (coming out of the bathroom) Won't you dance around with me.
Ross: Well, Im, uh, going to pick up Mona. What have you got going tonight?
Ross: That was me.
Ross: I think shes lonely.
Ross: I have no idea!
Ross: I know.
Ross: And you thought she was going to be in our way! So, why dont you, uh, open the champagne, and Ill be right back. Ive got a surprise for you.
Ross: So, um- so how's this, uh, how's this gonna work? Y'know, with us? Y'know, when, like, important decisions have to be made?
Ross: Why?! Why on the lips?! (He wipes his mouth on Monicas wrap and walks off, leaving Aunt Millie stunned.)
Chandler: Poor Ross.
Ross with a look of wondering how long this is going to go on on his face: Still me.
[Scene: a NYU lecture hall, Ross is trying to phase out his accent.]
Ross: (laughs) You were backpacking across Western Europe?
Ross: Hey, hey, man!
Ross: Really?!
Ross: Oh, sorry. Well, look, maybe I can help you with it.
Ross: Hey, hey, its me. Why cant you tell me?
Ross: Shes not a Tribbiani?
Ross: Anyway, so, uh, so what is it?
Ross: Why not?
Ross: Then talk to him! He might be fine with it.
Ross: Well, uh, does she like you?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
RACHEL: I'm sorry, what did you just say? Did you just say hi? Oh my God, Ross, Ross, Ben just said 'Hi'.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels. Rachel is standing in front of the TV holding a video.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is talking to Ross]
Ross: Rachel?!
Ross: Um, you you like Rachel?
Ross: (glaring at him) Yeah, thanks. (Joey nods no problem.)
Ross: Rachel whos carrying my baby? Rachel?
Ross: It's an empty apartment.
Ross: Hey.
Ross: Really?! (To Rachel) Hey, yknow what? Since you have such a great sense of what I need, uh ooh, heres-heres 60 bucks, why dont you take Phoebe down to that Colonial flea market of yours and get me some stuff.