words in movies
[Scene: Moondance Diner. Ross, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are sitting at the counter, Monica is working. Monica is wearing her costume, including big fake breasts.]
ROSS: Question. Why do we always have to have parties where you poach things?
ROSS: Question two. Why do we always have to have parties with committees?
ROSS: Yeah.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are planning Rache's birthday party.]
ROSS: I talked to Rachel's sisters, neither of them can come.
ROSS: Hi honey, how did it go?
MONICA: Chandler could you at least send some women to my party? [buzzer goes off] Alright that's Ross.
ROSS: Thanks for being born.
ROSS: Oh, now you can exchange them if you want, ok.
[they kiss and Ross backs her into her apartment and turns on the lights]
ROSS: Really?
ROSS: All right.
ROSS: What?
[Ad break. Time lapse. Still at party at Chandler and Joey's. Rachel is talking to Chandler and Ross.]
ROSS: You know what, this is ridiculous, ok. This is your birthday, this is your party. I say we just put 'em all together and if they can't deal with it, who cares.
ROSS: That's who.
ROSS: Ok, do you have any ideas for any openers?
ROSS: Hi Dr. Greene. So, uh, how's everything in the uh, vascular surgery....game?
MR. GREENE: It's not a game Ross, a woman died on my table today.
ROSS: I'm sorry. See that's the good thing about my job. All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead.
ROSS: Oh, here, I, I'll get it for ya. Whad'ya want?
ROSS: Scotch. Alright, I'll be back in 10 seconds with your scotch on the rocks in a glass.
ROSS: Cool.
ROSS: I know.
MR. GREENE: Oh hello Ross, where have you been?
ROSS: Hi. Uh, I have been in the bathroom. Stay clear of the salmon mousse.
ROSS: Oh, mine too. Isn't that neat, scotch neat. Would you excuse me? [walks out in the hallway, Mr. Greene is walking out of Chandler and Joey's apartment] Hey, hey, where you uh, sneakin off to mister?
ROSS: No. no.
ROSS: No, um, see 'cause that, that is, that is the staging area. If you go in there, it'll ruin the whole illusion of the party. Yeah, I think you take your scotch back in there and I will get your cigarettes for you sir.
ROSS: All righty roo. [closes the door] What a great moment to say that for the first time. [goes to get the cigarettes and glasses]
MRS. GELLER: Ross, whose glasses are those?
ROSS: Mine.
ROSS: Um-hmm. [puts them on] I have a condition, apparently, that I require two different sets of focals.
ROSS: Neil Sedaka wears them.
ROSS: Ohh, big smoker. [Packs the cigarettes and flings one on Mrs. Greene in the process. Finally gets one in his mouth and it look really out of place] Big big smoker. In fact I'm gonna go ou into the hallway and fire up this bad boy. [as he walks into the hall, he comes face to face with Mr. Greene]
ROSS: Yes. [pulls them off and hands them to Mr. Greene] I was just warming up the earpieces for you.
ROSS: [pulls the cigarette off his upper lip and hands it to Mr. Greene] Yeah, yes it is, I was just moistening the tip.
CHANDLER: I, I know. [Hugs her. Ross walks out and Chandler puts her in his arms.]
[Mr. Greene opens the door to Chandler and Joeys apartment. Ross sees him and runs to the door forcing him back in then holds onto the door knob.]
MRS. GREENE: Ross, what're you doing.
ROSS: I'm getting ready for the water skiing. [Mr. Greene opens the door which pulls Ross in] How are you doing?
Ross: Hey Joey, how come our stuff isnt free?
[Scene: A lobby, Ross is waiting for Rachel, after her interview.]
Ross: All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and damnit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes (kisses Joey).
Ross: Well, Rachel moving to another country? Not being able to see her every day. How can I be okay with this?
Monica: We have too! I mean what if Ross's hears that and then calls her back and then they get back together? Is that what you want? Ross back with that controlling, neurotic, crazy Emily? The Emily that wouldn't let him see you?
Ross: Yeah. So um, I-I heard about this ah, Mark guy that ah, Rachel met today.
Ross: Yeah, sure, why not? In fact, if you know anyone that would be good for me...
Ross: Yeah, it's his, uh, innate Alan-ness that-that-that we adore.
Joey: Yeah, all right. (Ross enters.)
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Hey! You were so right!
Monica: Hey. Ross, did you know Mom and Dad are going to Puerto Rico for Thanksgiving?
Ross: I made her favorite, tuna salad with pickles.
Ross: Okay, Jasmine, please, please dont. I love my girlfriend very much, and I want more than anything to just work it out with her. Okay?
[Scene: That same plane cabin, Ross is working on a crossword puzzle and Rachel is asleep against his shoulder. She shifts a little bit and Ross suddenly gets an idea. An evil idea when he looks at his pen. Then we have a little time lapse, the plane has landed and everyone is disembarking. The flight attendant is saying bye-bye to everyone.]
Phoebe: No its not great. No, shes coming to tell Ross that she loves him.
Ross: Okay. (Ben enters) Ben? Come here. All right, Im gonna leave you here with Aunt Rachel for about an hour. Okay? Are you gonna be okay?
Ross: Yeah, its hard okay, I only have two spots left.
Ross: Help! Help!! Help! Help!!
(Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him.)
Ross: (in his head) All right, keep going. We are phasing the accent out, phasing it out. So without out re-testing the results in the laboratory (pronounced the British way) the team would never have identified (British) the initial errors in their carbon dating analysis (British). Were there any questions at this point? (One student raises his hand.) Yes. (Points to him.)
(She gets up and leaves, Chandler waves good-bye with one finger extended through the air hole. Ross glares at Joey.)
Ross: Cheers!
Ross: Whats ah, whats so funny about that?
(The women all clap and start to leave as Ross comes up to the instructor. Apparently he was hiding in the back.)
ROSS: Alright, alright, here's the chance. Monica give him cash, Rachel give him your earrings. Something, now, anything. MONICA: No, I will not cave. RACHEL: Yeah, I'm with Mon. ROSS: Alright, alright, you know how you say I never seize the day? Well, alright, even though he's your super, I'm seizing. [approaches Mr. Treeger] Mr. Treeger, here is 50 bucks, merry Christmas. [Gives him the cash.]
Ross: Okay... okay, maybe I will...
Ross: Good! Me neither! So its not a problem. Were just two friends who happen to be roommates.
Phoebe: Oh no, Ross doesnt know anything.
Ross: (shocked) Hey!
Janice: (entering) Hey there Ross!
Ross: You know what? I'm gonna finish this later, ok? Let me just grab my coat.
Phoebe: (whispering to Ross) Janice.
Ross: (just trying to get out of the conversation) Ah well, cant blame a guy for trying!
Rachel: All right, fine. Um, you were not the only one there. (Camera fades to Ross, who's listening very carefully) Joey was there too.
Ross: (looking at Rachel entering with Emma) Oh, hi! Hi! Thanks for showing you up thirty minutes late!
Ross: Oh, please. Sweetie its hopeless, okay, Im just gonna go. (starts to leave rubbing his neck)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is telling Rachel and Monica about yet another mistake hes made with a woman.]
Joey: Ross! (Laughs) Theyre gonna kill you!
Ross: Eh, either way Ill pass. (Quietly to Chandler) I still cant eat those. (Monica is getting something out of the fridge and starts laughing.) Whats so funny?!
Ross: All right.
Ross: Yeah and he didnt really ask for you, he asked for Chancy, I assumed he meant you.
Ross: Youll see.
Ross: JOEY!!!!!!
Ross: Yeah, and-and thank you for Emily.
ROSS: You look pretty tonight.
Ross: I like that.
Ross: Huh?
Ross: But-but, Liams on my team.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are there eating pizza as Rachel enters.]
Joey: The Red Ross! Okay.
Ross: Not for tonight. Not for tonight! Wh-what, what, what, are you doing?
Cheryl: Oh, Ross!
Ross: No, not you. (Emily gets it.)
Ross: Oh, I kinda was, wasnt I?
ROSS: Oh, you know . . . we just drank some beer and Mike played with the boundaries of normal social conduct.
Ross: Oh, Ill-Ill come hug you.
Ross: Well, Im sorry, but ah, look if youre not working with him anymore, why do you have to still do stuff with him?
Rachel: Yeah, I-I heard. (Pause, everyone looks at each other, waiting for Rachels reaction.) I think its great! (Hugs Ross.) Ohh, Im so happy for you!
Ross: I know. Thats why I did it. (With a big smile) Come on, are they really that bad?
Ross: Its just, my part seemed to be over pretty quickly and then, and then there was a lot of waiting around.
ROSS: Woah, ho-ho, whad'ya got there, a weapon?
Ross: Rach, what uh, what are you doing here?
Ross: Yeah.
RACHEL: Well, the point is, maybe I should just stop waiting around for moments with Ross, you know?� I should just . . . move on with my life.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are on the couch as Joey enters with his new bag.]
(Ross and Emily enter.)
Ross: Bye. (They kiss.)
Ross: Look, you guys don't need me here taking up your space.
Ross: Pheebs!
Dr. Green: This is nice. I pay two hundred dollars for dinner, you put down twenty, and you come out looking like Mr. Big Shot. You really want to be Mr. Big Shot? Here, Ill tell you what, you pay the whole bill, Mr. Big Shot, all right. (rips up the bill, and throws it at Ross, then leaves)
Ross: Can you believe this? Were gonna be on the platform for the Millennium moment!
Ross: Yes! Yes! I mean it's-it's kinda far from work, but uh, y'know, I'll get so much done on the commute. I-I've been given the gift of time!
Ross: You've got to help me my monkey swallowed a 'K'!
Ross: (yelling in pain) I know nothing! Mike’s a great guy, it was hypothetical!
Ross: (starts rubbing her belly) Hello! Hello!
Ross: I'm sorry. It's just that this is the worse Thanksgiving ever.
Ross: You see Amanda and I have a very special...
Ross: Y'know if we ever go to war and youre captured, youre in for a big surprise.
Ross: Eww! No!! Her ear! All right, Monica categorizes her towels. How many categories are there?
Ross: You really didnt know?
Rachel: Well, it was all Rosss idea.
[Cut to Joey's room, who's going throw his own contractions. Plus, he has Ross in a headlock.]
Joey: The same way you lost. I started out with a King and a Queen, bamn! Ross gets a 2 and a 3. Then I get a Jack and a King, boom! Ross gets a 4 and a 5! Ross was getting the Cup card, the D-Cup, the Sittin Down Bonus! Meanwhile, I didnt even get half a cup! Nothin!!
Ross: Sending out a holiday card, together, I mean I just dont know if were really quite there yet.
Ross: Why not? Its built into the price of the room.
Ross: Yes, we have something we have to get to.
Ross: What big thing?
Ross: Oh God, no.
Ross: (excited and simultaneously as Chandler) Hungry monkey! (To Chandler) Haaa! (To Joey) Id like a Wicked Wango card!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]
Phoebe: Oh, its Ross on one of his drives!
[Rachel, seeing what he did for her, gets up, walks across the room, and kisses Ross]
Joey: Well, maybe I can help. (he grabs her head passionately, closes his eyes and kisses... Ross in Rachel's dress! He realises it too late, and when he does, pushes Ross's/Rachel's head away)
Ross: This is crazy! I mean, yes-yes Rachel is my good friend and I-I have loved her in the past, but now, she is just my wife! Phoebe, will you-will you help me out here?
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: What do you mean?
Ross: Yeah, have a seat.
Ross: You think?
Phoebe: Oh hey Ross oh I'm so glad someone's here could you zip me up?