words in movies
[Scene: Moondance Diner. Ross, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are sitting at the counter, Monica is working. Monica is wearing her costume, including big fake breasts.]
ROSS: Question. Why do we always have to have parties where you poach things?
ROSS: Question two. Why do we always have to have parties with committees?
ROSS: Yeah.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are planning Rache's birthday party.]
ROSS: I talked to Rachel's sisters, neither of them can come.
ROSS: Hi honey, how did it go?
MONICA: Chandler could you at least send some women to my party? [buzzer goes off] Alright that's Ross.
ROSS: Thanks for being born.
ROSS: Oh, now you can exchange them if you want, ok.
[they kiss and Ross backs her into her apartment and turns on the lights]
ROSS: Really?
ROSS: All right.
ROSS: What?
[Ad break. Time lapse. Still at party at Chandler and Joey's. Rachel is talking to Chandler and Ross.]
ROSS: You know what, this is ridiculous, ok. This is your birthday, this is your party. I say we just put 'em all together and if they can't deal with it, who cares.
ROSS: That's who.
ROSS: Ok, do you have any ideas for any openers?
ROSS: Hi Dr. Greene. So, uh, how's everything in the uh, vascular surgery....game?
MR. GREENE: It's not a game Ross, a woman died on my table today.
ROSS: I'm sorry. See that's the good thing about my job. All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead.
ROSS: Oh, here, I, I'll get it for ya. Whad'ya want?
ROSS: Scotch. Alright, I'll be back in 10 seconds with your scotch on the rocks in a glass.
ROSS: Cool.
ROSS: I know.
MR. GREENE: Oh hello Ross, where have you been?
ROSS: Hi. Uh, I have been in the bathroom. Stay clear of the salmon mousse.
ROSS: Oh, mine too. Isn't that neat, scotch neat. Would you excuse me? [walks out in the hallway, Mr. Greene is walking out of Chandler and Joey's apartment] Hey, hey, where you uh, sneakin off to mister?
ROSS: No. no.
ROSS: No, um, see 'cause that, that is, that is the staging area. If you go in there, it'll ruin the whole illusion of the party. Yeah, I think you take your scotch back in there and I will get your cigarettes for you sir.
ROSS: All righty roo. [closes the door] What a great moment to say that for the first time. [goes to get the cigarettes and glasses]
MRS. GELLER: Ross, whose glasses are those?
ROSS: Mine.
ROSS: Um-hmm. [puts them on] I have a condition, apparently, that I require two different sets of focals.
ROSS: Neil Sedaka wears them.
ROSS: Ohh, big smoker. [Packs the cigarettes and flings one on Mrs. Greene in the process. Finally gets one in his mouth and it look really out of place] Big big smoker. In fact I'm gonna go ou into the hallway and fire up this bad boy. [as he walks into the hall, he comes face to face with Mr. Greene]
ROSS: Yes. [pulls them off and hands them to Mr. Greene] I was just warming up the earpieces for you.
ROSS: [pulls the cigarette off his upper lip and hands it to Mr. Greene] Yeah, yes it is, I was just moistening the tip.
CHANDLER: I, I know. [Hugs her. Ross walks out and Chandler puts her in his arms.]
[Mr. Greene opens the door to Chandler and Joeys apartment. Ross sees him and runs to the door forcing him back in then holds onto the door knob.]
MRS. GREENE: Ross, what're you doing.
ROSS: I'm getting ready for the water skiing. [Mr. Greene opens the door which pulls Ross in] How are you doing?
Ross: Phoebe! (They hug.)
[Scene: The casino, Ross and Rachel are entering.]
Ross: What?
Ross: Hey, you wet my pants!
Ross: (to Gary) That was so cool man, the way you leaned on that guy.
Ross: What?!
Ross: Joey!!
Ross: Uh-hmm.
Ross: Your what?
Ross: (To Joey) Thanks man.
ROSS: God, that was, that was amazing, that was incredible. You guys, you guys kicked butt.
Ross: Hey listen I uh, talked to Chandler, sorry about the movie.
Ross: Rain? Hi. Hi, my name is Rain. I have my own kiln, and my dress is made out of wheat.
Ross: I'm familiar with his work, yes...
Ross: All right, I just wanted to check.
Ross: Yeah. I mean, it's been kinda quiet since Carol left, so...
Ross: Why is it inside out?!
Ross: Okay, there was some staring and pointing.
Ross: (looking at the price list) Umm Wow! That's-that's some pricey nut!
Ross: Nobody likes change.
Rachel: Okay. Okay fine, yknow what? We will let Ross and Joey decide. (Ross enters.) (In a sexy voice.) Hiiiii, Ross! Sweetie.
Ross: Well, she wore it all Christmas day, and then uh
Ross: Hey, howd the date go with Mr. Millionaire?
Ross: You know what? Enough! Enough talking! I have to get moving! Hey check out those two blondes over there!Hey come with me!
Monica: Ross and Rachel don't know what they're talking about. I mean its not like their so responsible. Emma is a product of a bottle of Merlot and a five year old condom.
Ross: I don�t know, are we just kissing guys on balconies?
Ross: (Chuckling) Hmm-Hmm.
Monica: (To Ross) Oh, by the way. Would it be okay if I gave the toast to mom and dad this year?
ROSS: I don't know, I don't think mom and dad would mind. Remember when you were 9 and Richard was 30, how dad used to say, 'God I hope they get together.'
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you want anything to drink, cause Im heading up there.
Ross: I, uh, I'll go see. (He goes in)
Ross: In fact, I'll bet you 50 bucks that you can't go the whole year without making fun of us. Eh, y'know what, better yet? A week.
Ross: Later! (Exits.)
Ross: Relax, Ill fix it.
Ross: Well hello! I'm Ross!
Ross: The first batch of margaritas was not so great, but the second batch is gooooood.
Rachel: Ross, I don't, I just don't think it's going to fit.
Ross: (he puts it in his mouth) Nope! Something else. (Throws it back under the bed.)
Ross: No, I cant. I would, I really would, but my son is here; I cant leave him. Isntyou dont think theres any way?
Ross: (to Rachel) You see what men do! Dont tell me men are not nice! (points to Chandler) This is men!!
Ross: Well, Im gonna go see her. I want to bring her something, what do you think shell like?
Ross: Wait a minute! No! Im the nice one! Im the one who danced with the kids all night! How How small are your feet?! (They all look down.)
Ross: Oh well. It probably wouldve been the most constructive solution.
Ross: Y'know, last night was embarrassing for you too.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing a new song. Yep, the first new Phoebe song of season six, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are also there.]
(Ross throws his hands out in a What are you doing? gesture)
Ross: Thanks, I put a lot of extra thoughts on your gift.
Ross: Well, hello, Mrs. Ross! (Throws some rice.)
Ross: Not that it's any of your business, but we did go out.
Ross: My foot is stuck in the pocket.
Ross: So, uh, why did you have to turn it down?
Ross: So, Dr. Green, hows the old boat.
Ross: (checks) Yeah.
Ross: Why are we in bed together?
Ross: Maybe I should get another pair! Ooh, y'know, they-they had some with fringe all down the sides. (Chandler starts rubbing his temple again.) I'm gonna go kiss Ben goodnight. (He starts to head for Monica's bedroom.) I can't believe he thinks I'm a cowboy. (Pause.) I would make a good cowboy. (He struts into Monica's room.)
Ross: And we didnt have sex.
Ross: Hey Pheebs, how's it going?
Ross: (clinking a wine glass) Can I have everyones attention please? Im uh; Im Ross Geller.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: What?
Ross: Yeah!
(Paolo enters. Ross, Phoebe, and Monica scatter)
(Rachel turns to Ross stunned.)
Ross: What?
Ross: Laugh it up, but the jokes on you. Because we dont need to get divorced, okay? We were just gonna get an annulment.
Burt: (another professor) Wow! It looks like you were very generous with your grades this semester! (Ross frantically starts to change some as a female student, Elizabeth, approaches.)
Ross: Yeah? Sometimes it's (Does the fist thing.)
[Scene: Hotel's bar. Ross is running to Charlie trying not to be seen with two cocktails in his hands. She's hidden behind a huge plant]
Ross: Okay! Ho-ho! We did not steal your thunder because we are not getting back together!
Ross and Rachel: Goodnight.
Joey: Who's your friend? He's hot! (Ross laughs and Rachel smacks him with her purse.)
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, actually um, I wanted to talk to you about that whole annulment thing?
Ross: Seriously that's a lot of cups.
Ross: Yes, exactly!
Ross: Well, it was loong. I didnt even realise how late it was, until I noticed the 5 oclock shadow on her head. (They both start to laugh, then stop themselves quickly.) Anyway, she didnt want to stay. I called a cab; she just left.
Ross: Well, Carol says she and Susan want me to be involved, but if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have to be involved.. basically it's entirely up to me.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Are you sure? Because I can stay out as late as you want. I told you how I'm on sabbatical from work, right?
Rachel: Ohh wow! Im sorry, but Ross you kicked off your shoes!
Ross: What?! Over a stupid room!
(Ross turns and leaves.)
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
(Rachel, Monica, Ross and Chandler whip around for a second time, in formation.)
Ross: Oh no, yeah no, that parts great!
Ross: A loser you did it with (To the salesman) 298 times!
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Is that funny? Am I supposed to be laughing?
Ross: Oh yeah, why not?
Ross: Whats all this about you guys fighting?! Is this really over a room?! I mean, that is so silly!
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Oh yeah, why not?
Ross: Come on. (Helps her into bed as her phone rings.) I got it.
ROSS: Ooh, I, I'm so sick of missing stuff. Ya know, I want him for more than, than a day, I want him for a whole weekend. No listen , I mean, I feel like-
Ross: I know.
Phoebe: Ross?!
Ross: So uh, any ideas for the bachelor party yet?
(The sitcom begins with its familiar refrain, yet with a Latin lilt. Rachel and Monica do a little dance with their chopsticks, and Phoebe has to grin as Ross joins in the rhythm.)
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there, Ross is telling a story about what happened at work and the rest of the gang are thinking to themselves, denoted by italics.]
Monica: Ross, we can handle this.