words in movies
[Scene: Moondance Diner. Ross, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are sitting at the counter, Monica is working. Monica is wearing her costume, including big fake breasts.]
ROSS: Question. Why do we always have to have parties where you poach things?
ROSS: Question two. Why do we always have to have parties with committees?
ROSS: Yeah.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are planning Rache's birthday party.]
ROSS: I talked to Rachel's sisters, neither of them can come.
ROSS: Hi honey, how did it go?
MONICA: Chandler could you at least send some women to my party? [buzzer goes off] Alright that's Ross.
ROSS: Thanks for being born.
ROSS: Oh, now you can exchange them if you want, ok.
[they kiss and Ross backs her into her apartment and turns on the lights]
ROSS: Really?
ROSS: All right.
ROSS: What?
[Ad break. Time lapse. Still at party at Chandler and Joey's. Rachel is talking to Chandler and Ross.]
ROSS: You know what, this is ridiculous, ok. This is your birthday, this is your party. I say we just put 'em all together and if they can't deal with it, who cares.
ROSS: That's who.
ROSS: Ok, do you have any ideas for any openers?
ROSS: Hi Dr. Greene. So, uh, how's everything in the uh, vascular surgery....game?
MR. GREENE: It's not a game Ross, a woman died on my table today.
ROSS: I'm sorry. See that's the good thing about my job. All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead.
ROSS: Oh, here, I, I'll get it for ya. Whad'ya want?
ROSS: Scotch. Alright, I'll be back in 10 seconds with your scotch on the rocks in a glass.
ROSS: Cool.
ROSS: I know.
MR. GREENE: Oh hello Ross, where have you been?
ROSS: Hi. Uh, I have been in the bathroom. Stay clear of the salmon mousse.
ROSS: Oh, mine too. Isn't that neat, scotch neat. Would you excuse me? [walks out in the hallway, Mr. Greene is walking out of Chandler and Joey's apartment] Hey, hey, where you uh, sneakin off to mister?
ROSS: No. no.
ROSS: No, um, see 'cause that, that is, that is the staging area. If you go in there, it'll ruin the whole illusion of the party. Yeah, I think you take your scotch back in there and I will get your cigarettes for you sir.
ROSS: All righty roo. [closes the door] What a great moment to say that for the first time. [goes to get the cigarettes and glasses]
MRS. GELLER: Ross, whose glasses are those?
ROSS: Mine.
ROSS: Um-hmm. [puts them on] I have a condition, apparently, that I require two different sets of focals.
ROSS: Neil Sedaka wears them.
ROSS: Ohh, big smoker. [Packs the cigarettes and flings one on Mrs. Greene in the process. Finally gets one in his mouth and it look really out of place] Big big smoker. In fact I'm gonna go ou into the hallway and fire up this bad boy. [as he walks into the hall, he comes face to face with Mr. Greene]
ROSS: Yes. [pulls them off and hands them to Mr. Greene] I was just warming up the earpieces for you.
ROSS: [pulls the cigarette off his upper lip and hands it to Mr. Greene] Yeah, yes it is, I was just moistening the tip.
CHANDLER: I, I know. [Hugs her. Ross walks out and Chandler puts her in his arms.]
[Mr. Greene opens the door to Chandler and Joeys apartment. Ross sees him and runs to the door forcing him back in then holds onto the door knob.]
MRS. GREENE: Ross, what're you doing.
ROSS: I'm getting ready for the water skiing. [Mr. Greene opens the door which pulls Ross in] How are you doing?
(He happily gestures at Chandler that there was nothing to worry about, then exits. Rachel and Monica are concerned for poor Phoebe, who slides back down next to Ross.)
Ross: He looks so tiny.
Ross: Look, I'm sorry to hear about your tragedy, ok? But the swings are perfectly safe, and besides Emma loves them. You know what, you should come with us and you'll see!
Ross: No, why?
Chandler and Ross: Hey.
Ross: Yeah, hey I-I have clothes, I even pick them out. I mean for, for all you know I could be a fashion..... monger.
CHAN: Does anyone have one from a different paper? Ross, read yours.
[Scene: The Roof, Ross and Joey are banging on the door.]
Ross: What?
Ross: Who?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is outside the bathroom yelling at Ross who's in the bathroom.]
Ross: The doctor says its completely normal with all the hormones. Plus, you-youre sleep deprived.
(Camera cuts to Chandler and Ross at table.)
Ross: I don't know.
Ross: We're fine, we're fine.
ROSS: Alright, that's it. I've had enough of this, alright. Gunther, these guys are trying to take our seat.
Rachel: Look, Charlie, I just want you to know. Ross is just having a little trouble adjusting to the thought of Joey and me. You know, he normally doesn't drink like this.
Paul: Wow. What can I say? (Pause, pointing at Ross) This doesnt make me like you any better!
Ross: Oh man, I can't believe you guys are leaving this place.
Ross: Oh, you're... (gives up)
Ross: No, no. Uh... no, see, uh, you-you can't do that.
Ross: Ben, I want you to know that there may be some times when I may not be around, like this. (walks out of the picture) But I'll still always come back, like this. (returns) And sometimes I may be away longer, like this. (walks away) But I'll still always come back, like this. (returns)
Ross: Can we please focus here, a naked mans life hangs in the balance!
Ross: Please, help me! I have a date tonight. It has to go well okayIm scared for my health!
Monica: Well, well Ross didnt care enough to be here, so I think hes out. You snooze you lose.
Ross: (pause)...Yeah.
Ross: You still on that?
Ross: I'm not a nice guy.
Ross: Well that's fine with me. Could use the money.
Ross: Dad so what we have to pretend that were married?
Ross: Well, actually its been great. Shes 20 so shes not looking for anything too serious, which is perfect for me right now.
Ross: Alright boys, let's eat.
Ross: Uh, nothing, I'm sure they'll be impressed with your excellent compuper skills.
Ross: Dude, what'd you have?
Ross: Alright.
Ross: Hey.
Ross: Alright.
Joey: Ah, Im-Im walking down the aisle...Still walking. (Mrs. Waltham takes her place.) Im about to pass the bridesmaid I hooked up with last night. (Looking at the bridesmaid.) Hey! (Talking to Phoebe.) I told her "Hey." And now Im at the front with Ross. Its Phoebe. (He shows Ross the phone.) He looks pretty mad. Uh...Id better go.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey and Ross are there.]
Ross: I know. I know. I mean, one day, he's this little thing, and before you know it, he's this little thing I can't get off my leg.
Ross: You got the clothes clean. Now that's the important part.
Ross: Uh... to the bathroom.
(Ross gets up from the table.)
Ross: No, Im not gonna pick them up.
(Ross stands up.)
(Ross looks down.)
Phoebe: Ross?
Ross: Oh, I am very in.
Ross: Show them to me!
Ross: This place is really beautiful!
[Scene: The Set, Joey, Janine, Ross and Monica are walking in.]
(Ross is visibly upset.)
Ross: Let me see! Show them!
Ross: No. Im saying its now. (He starts putting on his pants, backwards again.)
Phoebe: Oh, Ross youre right, I dont know why I always thought this was real grass.
Ross: All right, the score is nine to eight in favor of the guys. Ladies if you miss this the game is theirs, pick your category.
Rachel: It's not? (whispering to Ross) When was she born?
(Ross dials a number on his cellular phone)
Ross: Uh, Rach, we're running low on resumes over here.
Rachel: (to Ross): Loser?
Ross: I'm in. (throws in chips)
Ross: You got me.
Ross: Fifteen.
Ross: Thank you.
Joey: (to Ross): Ahhh, that's alright. Y'know, that's a tough hand to beat.
Chandler: (to Ross): I thought we had them!
ROSS: Not hating Yanni is not a real reason.
Ross: Uh.... bean! Bean!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Ross enters.]
(Chandler and Ross head for opposite ends of the couch.)
Ross: Its not a club.
Ross: Thanks to a little something called "Helvetica Bold 24 point"!
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Ross is returning to find another couple has taken the place of Marc and Julie.]
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Really.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel are sitting around the table.]
Ross: Hey, you only heard Monica�s side of that. That little fatso was a terror.
ROSS: Hey, hey, woah, you want some of this, huh? You want a piece of this, huh? I'm standin here, huh.
Ross: Wait-wait. I, I got it. I was there.
ROSS: I got bottled breast milk.
Ross: That-thats always good news. Are you okay?
Ross: ...Gets interrupted. Hi!
Ross: Okay, (reading the card) Fonzy gives you two thumbs up, collect two cool points. Yeah.
(Chandler leans back against the wall and Ross and Joey hear him. Ross and Joey both notice at the same time. They slowly stop, and then very slowly turn around to see Chandler staring at them.)
Monica: What, Phoebe, did you whip the potatoes? Ross needs lumps!
(Ross accidentally, on purpose, bumps into Susan.)
Ross: No, it's for when Carol goes into labor. She can get me wherever I am. I mean, all she has to do is to dial 55-JIMBO.
Ross: (Still annoyed) Yeah, we'll just use our special cake tools.
Ross: Marlon?!
Ross: (To Phoebe) And she's supposed to buy this?!
Ross: (on phone) Yeah, you want 55-JUMBO. Yeah, that's right. That's right, JUMBO with a U, sir. (pause) No, belive me, you don't want me. Judging by his number, I'd be a huge disappointment. (pause) All rightie, bye bye.
[Scene: Carol and Susan's, there's a knock on the door and Carol answers it to Ross.]
Ross: Okay, maybe it wasnt my best decision. But I just couldnt face another failed marriage.
Ross: Yeah. You, uh, you want some?
Ross: Oh, what? What-what?
Ross: ...Yeah?
Rachel: Oh God, Ross, I cannot do this.
Ross: (on phone) I-I-I don't care if I said some other girl's name you prissy, old twit!
Ross: That's right, I.. 'cause I didn't expect you were gonna invite them to the apartment!
Ross: Cat!