words in movies
[Scene: Moondance Diner. Ross, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are sitting at the counter, Monica is working. Monica is wearing her costume, including big fake breasts.]
ROSS: Question. Why do we always have to have parties where you poach things?
ROSS: Question two. Why do we always have to have parties with committees?
ROSS: Yeah.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are planning Rache's birthday party.]
ROSS: I talked to Rachel's sisters, neither of them can come.
ROSS: Hi honey, how did it go?
MONICA: Chandler could you at least send some women to my party? [buzzer goes off] Alright that's Ross.
ROSS: Thanks for being born.
ROSS: Oh, now you can exchange them if you want, ok.
[they kiss and Ross backs her into her apartment and turns on the lights]
ROSS: Really?
ROSS: All right.
ROSS: What?
[Ad break. Time lapse. Still at party at Chandler and Joey's. Rachel is talking to Chandler and Ross.]
ROSS: You know what, this is ridiculous, ok. This is your birthday, this is your party. I say we just put 'em all together and if they can't deal with it, who cares.
ROSS: That's who.
ROSS: Ok, do you have any ideas for any openers?
ROSS: Hi Dr. Greene. So, uh, how's everything in the uh, vascular surgery....game?
MR. GREENE: It's not a game Ross, a woman died on my table today.
ROSS: I'm sorry. See that's the good thing about my job. All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead.
ROSS: Oh, here, I, I'll get it for ya. Whad'ya want?
ROSS: Scotch. Alright, I'll be back in 10 seconds with your scotch on the rocks in a glass.
ROSS: Cool.
ROSS: I know.
MR. GREENE: Oh hello Ross, where have you been?
ROSS: Hi. Uh, I have been in the bathroom. Stay clear of the salmon mousse.
ROSS: Oh, mine too. Isn't that neat, scotch neat. Would you excuse me? [walks out in the hallway, Mr. Greene is walking out of Chandler and Joey's apartment] Hey, hey, where you uh, sneakin off to mister?
ROSS: No. no.
ROSS: No, um, see 'cause that, that is, that is the staging area. If you go in there, it'll ruin the whole illusion of the party. Yeah, I think you take your scotch back in there and I will get your cigarettes for you sir.
ROSS: All righty roo. [closes the door] What a great moment to say that for the first time. [goes to get the cigarettes and glasses]
MRS. GELLER: Ross, whose glasses are those?
ROSS: Mine.
ROSS: Um-hmm. [puts them on] I have a condition, apparently, that I require two different sets of focals.
ROSS: Neil Sedaka wears them.
ROSS: Ohh, big smoker. [Packs the cigarettes and flings one on Mrs. Greene in the process. Finally gets one in his mouth and it look really out of place] Big big smoker. In fact I'm gonna go ou into the hallway and fire up this bad boy. [as he walks into the hall, he comes face to face with Mr. Greene]
ROSS: Yes. [pulls them off and hands them to Mr. Greene] I was just warming up the earpieces for you.
ROSS: [pulls the cigarette off his upper lip and hands it to Mr. Greene] Yeah, yes it is, I was just moistening the tip.
CHANDLER: I, I know. [Hugs her. Ross walks out and Chandler puts her in his arms.]
[Mr. Greene opens the door to Chandler and Joeys apartment. Ross sees him and runs to the door forcing him back in then holds onto the door knob.]
MRS. GREENE: Ross, what're you doing.
ROSS: I'm getting ready for the water skiing. [Mr. Greene opens the door which pulls Ross in] How are you doing?
Joey: Ross. I was thinking we could just go down the fire escape. (Points it out.)
Ross: Yknow what? I think I can take care of myself, Ill talk to you later. Good-bye. (Hangs up the phone and turns to find Jill sitting really close to him.) Whoa! Uh, that was your sister actually. She-she thinks that youre just using me.
Ross: Yeah, little change in plans. Ahh, were gonna break-up instead.
Ross: ...I'll go. Let's start with the way he kept picking at- no, I'm sorry, I can't do this, can't do this. We loved him.
(Ross goes to call her.)
[Scene: The hospital, Ross and Monica are in Phoebes room. Phoebe is in the bathroom and Monica notices smoke coming out from underneath the door.]
Ross: You didn't want to share your tomatoes, tomatoes are very important to you.
Ross: Hi! Its me.
Ross: Whos that?
[Scene: San Diego Zoo. Ross and the janitor are in the nocturnal house.]
Ross: Ah, thats okay, thanks.
PHOE: [seeing Ross kissing Julie outside the window] Ooh, oh, Rachel, don't look.
Ross: Oh, no, no.
Ross: (to Chloe) I like this song.
Ross: (to Joey) Oh no, she took down Monica... And I'm the crier in the family. Oh God! I could be next. Maybe she won't talk with me if it looks like we're deep in converstation. Oh, so that thing you said about the thing. It really made me think about that other thing.
Ross: Okay, its not, its not.
Ross: Chandler?! You brought Chandler?! The next best thing would be Monica!
Ross: Is this about Mark?
Sandy: What is it...? (Ross hesitates) Please...? (he tilts his head)
Ross: All right that's, that's it!! Get off her!
Ross: (on the phone) Ive been thinking, this is crazy, I mean dont, dont you think we can work on this?
Ross: Whos that?
Ross: Yeah, why is it staring at me? I think it knows Im talking about it. (Rachel starts to peek at the file) Dont-dont youWhWhaHey!!
Ross: Yeah, but I got cous-cous!
Ross: Is that Mark?
[Scene: Rosss Kitchen, Ross is taking some aspirin and checking his messages.]
Ross: Thats crap!! Sister Brown Bird. (to Elizabeth) Good going. (does the salute)
Ross: And then, you try to make the best of a bad situation, so you float the idea of a threesome?
Ross: Yeah!!
Ross: I love you.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Yeah, oh hey, you are right on time.
Ross: Chandler!!! Chandler!!! (He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.) Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here!
Ross: I know, I know I really like you too. But we-we cant date. Its against the rules. Its forbidden.
Ross: Yes, you can, very much.
Chandler: (entering) Hey, you guys! Hey, Ross, quick question for ya. Are you ready to party?
Ross: She's having lunch with him. She's having lunch with him. And you should of seen the hug she gave him when she got the job. And, and, and, (to Joey) he's really good looking. (Joey gives an enthusiastic thumbs up) What am I gonna do?
Ross: Well, I wanted to be thorough. I mean this-this is clearly very, very important to you, to us! And so I wanted to read every word carefully, twice!
Ross: Yeah, but dont you think....
Ross: What trail?
Ross: Phoebe, forget it, okay? Newark is - is like an hour away. There's no way we're gonna make it in time.
Ross: Oh, I-I dont think theres any trail.
Ross: (stopping grinding) Pepper?
Ross: Cause Carols a lesbian. (Phoebe is shocked) And, and Im not one. And apparently its not a mix and match situation.
Ross: You took my watch?
Ross: Yeah, thats the one. Listen, I dont want to hurt her.
ROSS: Oh, oh, you're... uh... you're, oh you're the date.
Ross: Right.
Ross: Very bad.
Ross: No, were not!!
Ross: Yes, I did.
Ross: Actually, no, were not.
Ross: Yeah. Listen, can you keep this information to yourself?
Ross: Thank you, thank you.
Rachel: Theyre not!! Ross, theyre just saving them for the important people!! Okay?! What-what if I was the president?!
Ross: Postpone it? Emily, do you think Monica realises how much our parents spent on this wedding? Do you my sisters teeny-tiny little brain comprehends that people took time out of their lives to fly thousands of miles to be here, huh? (He puts his pants on backwards.) This isnt right.
[Scene: Mr. Geller's party. Mr. Geller and a friend are questioning Richard while Ross observes.]
Ross: Rachel?
[Scene: Carol and Susan's, Ross is preparing to talk to her belly.]
Rachel: Ross, you had sex with another woman!
Ross: Bye! Hey, I hope Emma isn't making it too hard on you.
Ross: You are totally jealous.
Ross: No, hey, I get that, okay, I get that big time. And Im happy for ya, but Im tired of having a relationship with your answering machine! Okay, I dont know what to do anymore.
Ross: No!!
Ross: No!! No!! I wanna stay. I wanna talk about this.
Ross: What?
Ross: She was...
Ross: She, she was different.
Phoebe: (looking in the window) Right, oh yeah. Wow, oh, it looks like Ross is breaking up with her. Uff, I hope he lets her down easy. Lets go.
Ross: No, just give me another minute.
Ross: Yeah, uh, except for the red sock, which is still red. I'm sorry, please don't be upset, it could happen to anyone.
Ross: (entering) Hey.
Ross: Just one uh, one additional relationship thought. Probably something your already familiar with, uh, women talk! (smacks Chandler over the head with a magazine)
Ross: Wheres Ben?
Ross: Ah! (realises) Oh.
Ross: Yeah, well.
Ross: Its a good thing I didnt do it, because it sounds like it wouldve been a very expensive wedding. (Rachel laughs) Okay, good night
Ross: Yeah, but Im your brother. Were family. Thats the most important thing in the world.
Ross: Oh yeah, Id love that.
Ross: Absolutely. (Turns back to the woman next to him.) So, twins... hah! Thats like two births. (He struggles again.) Ouch.
[They look over at Russ and Ross.]
(Chloe gives Ross the thumbs up while still standing behind the door.)
Chandler: Thats a bad duck!!! (to Ross) Howd the thing go tonight, Ross?
Ross: Pheebs? What, why are you whispering?
[Rosss beeper goes off.]
Ross: So, Phoebs owes $7.50, Monica, you owe $10, and Rachel, you owe fifteen big ones.
Ross: Yeah, youre right.
ROSS: Yeah, what're you guys doin' here, aren't you supposed to be Christmas shopping?
[Ross drives up.]
Ross: (sarcastic) And you made it through that? I wonder who's gonna play you in the movie!
Ross: Uhh No.
Ross: Excuse me?
Ross: Me too. I'm good at it.
Ross: Youre welcome.
Ross: We were on a break!
Ross: Okay.
Rachel: Y'know Ross why dont you put that on your answering machine!
Ross: Obviously not to Joey.
Ross: I can.
Ross: No, Monicas restaurant got a horrible review in the Post. (They all gasp.) I didnt want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find. (He hands the paper to Phoebe and they all read it.)