words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
Ross: What's going on?
(Ross turns to look at Joey.)
Ross: Oh God, here we go!
Ross: Anytime anything comes close to touching her eye or anyone else's she like freaks out. Watch! Watch! (He takes his finger and moves it towards his eye.)
Rachel: (flinches) Ross! Come on! That's all right! Fine--Okay, I have a weird thing about my eye. Can we not talk about it please?
Ross: Hey, does anybody want to get some lunch? All those in favor say I? (Pokes his eye)
Rachel: (freaks) Ross! Stop it! Come on!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Ross: All right, I gotta go. I'm taking Ben to the park.
Ross: All right, bye!
Ross: Later! (Exits.)
Phoebe: Uh, it's a piece of paper and it says, "Ross" on it.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Uhh, not much. You guys want to see a movie tonight?
Ross: I don't know, umm
Ross: What's with her?
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Action.
(Ross pauses and looks at him, Joey motions for him to hurry up.)
Ross: Dude, you are sick.
Joey: Man, I wish Ross was coming with us! Y'know? I'm gonna miss him!
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: I just wanna say good-bye to you guys and to see if you guys will place a little bet for me, huh? Twenty bucks on black 15.
Ross: All right!
Ross: Hey Pheebs, what 'cha reading? (Phoebe ignores him) Pheebs? (Turns away) Hello? (He sits down next to her and she moves over a bit.) Phoebe? (He moves closer and she keeps moving away.) Phoe-Phoebe! (They end up hanging over the arm rest.) Come on! (He grabs the magazine away from her.)
Ross: Phoebe, are you, are you mad at me, or something? 'Cause if are please, tell me what it is I did!
Ross: Well, I don't know.
Ross: Well, whatever it is I'm-I'm very, very sorry. Okay?
Ross: Okay. So we're, we're good?
Ross: All right. (Gets up.) I'll uh, I'll see you later, okay?
Ross: ALL RIGHT!! Phoebe now come on! Will you please tell me what it is I did that mad you so mad at me!
Ross: Well if you can't remember, can't we just forget about this?
(Ross isn't sure what to do with that comment.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are there. Ross is trying to figure out why Phoebe's mad at him.]
Ross: Okay, are you mad at me because my hair gel smells?
Ross: Are you angry at me because I said your handwriting is childlike?
Ross: Yeah? Sometimes it's (Does the fist thing.)
Ross: Okay, I'm the baby. (Points at his eye.)
Ross: Hey!
Phoebe: Ooh that is definitely Chandler, Joey, or Ross. (Thinks) Or-or Rachel!
Ross: (entering) Okay Pheebs, I know how we're going to figure this out. Okay, clear your mind and answer the first thing that comes into your head. Okay?
Ross: What do you like better flora or fauna?
Ross: Who would you rather be Simon or Garfunkle?
Ross: Why are you mad at me?
Ross: When did I say you were boring?!
Ross: Phoebe! You and I have never played chess!
Ross: Hey Rach, can you pass me the TV Guide?
(Phoebe jumps to the floor as Ross tackles Rachel off of the couch. Chandler helps push Rachel onto the floor by jumping over the back of the couch. Phoebe grabs Rachel's head to hold it still and opens Rachel's eye as Monica jumps onto Chandler's back to administer the torture--I mean medicine.)
Monica: (laughing with Ross) We don't, we don't wrestle now.
Ross: Oh that's nice.
Ross: Oh. Uhh
Rachel: Well, of course I am! It's not gonna happen to Ross! He's your brother. (To Chandler) He's your old college roommate. Ugh, it was just a matter of time before someone had to leave the group. I just always assumed Phoebe would be the one to go.
Ross: Hi! What's ah, what's Mark doing answering your phone?
Phoebe: Yeah, I definitely. I dont like the name Ross.
Ross: Hey, uh, you can ignore that.
Ross: Oh, no!
Ross: Ok, um, uh, more clothes in the dryer? (Ross turns and bangs his head on an open dryer door.) I'm fine, I'm fine.
Ross: No-no, I got the edge. I know it's not exactly ethical but I sent him a little bribe to
(Ross appears in the hallway just outside of Rachel's office.)
(Phoebe gets up and goes to play, Ross goes over and sits down next to Monica and Rachel.)
Phoebe: Oh, hi Ross!
Ross: What are you doing?
Ross: You chipped in?!
Chandler: We should start with the big stuff. Yknow? That'll be the easiest. Uh, let's start with the couch. (He picks up one end and Ross doesn't help) I got it. (He moves it back to where he thinks it goes.)
Ross: You're welcome for a delicious dinner.
Ross: Y'know what? Uh, Rachel is here! (Rachel stops.)
Ross: How weird is that? Yknow? Youre moving in with me and have the one thing I dont have. Its like uh, in a way you-you complete me (Phoebe glares at him) kitchen.
(Ross turns and glares at Phoebe.)
Ross: The uh, the baby that hasn't been born yet? Wouldn't that mean you're... crazy?
Ross: Monica and Chandler are living together!
Ross: Oh, oh. Of course. God, I'm so stupid. You guys are a couple now. I mean, you probably just want to be alone.
[Scene: Amanda's apartment, Ross is arriving with Ben.]
Ross: (tapping her on the shoulder) Phoebe? Phoebe?
Ross: What?!
Ross: So uh, what did you tell them about me?
Ross: Fine, just stop thinking about me.
Ross: Oh my God, we did it! (he sits beside her and skims through her notes excitedly)
Ross: Heavy thing, not getting lighter!
(Ross puts her on speakerphone.)
Ross: No. (to Rachel) So, um, let's see your pretty close, huh. Make-up's on, hair's done.
Ross: (trying to get her attention) Phoebe?
Chandler: I didn't know Ross and you were so close.
Rachel: (touches his knee) Im pregnant. (Ross stops.) Ross? (Ross is staring off into space.) Ross? (Ross is still frozen) Okay, whenever youre ready. (Sits back and opens her magazine.) And youre the father by the waybut you got that
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Yep! I'd like to thank you guys for coming down here to complain about the rain and ruin my career!
Ross: No, I will not!
Ross: Mona? (Theres no answer, so he starts to leave but remembers where her extra key is. He reaches atop a hall light just outside her door and grabs the key. He looks at in triumph as the pain from it being hot moves along his nervous system to his brain, and when it arrives his brain orders his hand to drop the hot key and his mouth to squeal in pain. After dropping the key he pulls his shirtsleeve over his hand and uses the key to open the door and enter Monas apartment.) Okay, if I were a salmon shirt, where would I be? (He hears a key in the door and as it opens he dives behind the couch.)
Ross: Well w-w-w-w-wait, w-wait, wait, wait a minute! I mean a couple of stupid boxes get wet and she gets a Porsche?!
Ross: (in an Australian accent) You complete me kitchen, matey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are there, Phoebe is entering with her date Robert.]
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Some days it's all I can think about.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: What's that supposed to mean?
Rachel: Ross!
Ross: Rachel, only one of us can do it, you have to choose. You and me together again. (he winks at her and Rachel looks disgusted)
Ross: It doesn't matter! It's my principles! We're talking about my principles!
Rachel: Ross!
Ross: Yeah! Rach?
Phoebe: Ross, I know what youre thinking.
Ross: Then tell him quickly.
(Rachel pushes on the couch and pushes Ross out the door.)
Ross: What?
Rachel: Ross, didn't you say that there was an elevator in here?
Ross: Uhm, I hadn't no you... I had no idea you were so excited about Paris. Uhm, I mean, you said you were scared.
Ross: Yeah, you got it right? You got it right? You got it?
Ross: Oh my God! I-I see what this is! You are in love with Rachel!
Ross: Apparently, Stings son made fun of the fact that Bens moms are lesbinims.
Ross: And while that was good advice, you should know that what-what she wants
CHANDLER: Alright look Ross I'll give you 50 dollars for your underpants.
Rachel: Ross, um, don’t forget to get a shot of Emma’s cake. It’s in a box in the fridge.
Joey: Hey-hey dancer girl! Can I go to the bathroom? I just.. (The girl starts dancing really close to him, so he picks her up, twirls her round, and puts her against a platform) Here we go. (He walks away to find Monica and Ross doing a really out of place dance) Looking good Gellers!
Joey: I know. I know. And shes not only my friend; shes my pregnant friend! Shes my pregnant friend whos Ross ex!
Phoebe: (sarcastically) Okay Ross! (Ross exits and she says quietly to the bike) Please dont die!
ROSS: I can't believe you hated me.
(Ross and Chandler start to read Joey's script aloud.)
[Cut to Ross's apartment. Ross and Rachel are there. It's another scene from 1016 TOW Rachel's Going Away Party.]
Ross: Oh great! What, you brought Joey?
ROSS: Hey, Joey. You wanna open the window?
Chandler: (to Ross): What do you need, what do you need?
Ross: Oh, that's me.
Ross: Turn.
Ross: Turn! Turn!
Ross: Come on, Chandler.
Ross: All right, ready?
(They all turn and glare at Ross.)
Ross: Every week, the TV Guide comes to Chandler and Joeys apartment. What name appears on the address label?
ROSS: Because it's a special hat. [Chandler looks at Ross funny] See he bought it 'cause he was feeling really down one day so he got the hat to cheer himself up, ya know. Now Chandler...
Ross: Y'know what? Just-just follow my lead.
Ross: Are you into crafts at all?
Ross: Okay, you're in bed. She's over on your side, cuddling. Now you wait for her to drift off, and then you hug her (demonstrates on the cushion) and roll her back over to her side of the bed. And then you rollll a-way. Hug for her! Roll for you.
Ross: Well, thats what Im here for. (Emma starts crying again) Want me to get that?
Ross: is for me not to see you anymore.
[Scene: The couch store, Ross is talking to a saleswoman.]
Ross: That's what I'm telling you.
Chandler: (doing a little dance) Hey Ross, look what I've got going here.
Ross: Hey! What's up?
Ross: (thinks) I take it.
Ross: I wanna say it's not looking good.
Ross: Ok, I gotta say. I mean, it means so much to me that you guys are coming all the way over there to hear me do my speech! UH! And I've a surprise, uh... I had to pull some strings but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference! That's right! (he gives them their passes) This babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars.
ROSS: OK, now I'm nervous.
Ross: Sorry. (To remedy that, Ross scoops the cinnamon off of the top with his hand.)
Ross: Sometimes, you should come over (Joey returns from the bathroom) sometime! Ill play you one of my other
Ross: You got it! (Monica leaves, Ross closes the door). All right, she's right, we gotta get serious. (He grabs a bag of styrofoam peanuts) Let's put styrofoam peanuts down his pants and kick him!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is watching Joey read Little Women, Ross is also there.]
Ross: Hey Joey! Great stuff huh?
Ross: Wheres my ring? My dead grandmothers wedding ring? Where is it? Where is it?
ROSS: Shouldn't the pizza be here by now?� I mean, they said thirty minutes or less.� Well, how long has it been?