words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
Ross: What's going on?
(Ross turns to look at Joey.)
Ross: Oh God, here we go!
Ross: Anytime anything comes close to touching her eye or anyone else's she like freaks out. Watch! Watch! (He takes his finger and moves it towards his eye.)
Rachel: (flinches) Ross! Come on! That's all right! Fine--Okay, I have a weird thing about my eye. Can we not talk about it please?
Ross: Hey, does anybody want to get some lunch? All those in favor say I? (Pokes his eye)
Rachel: (freaks) Ross! Stop it! Come on!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Ross: All right, I gotta go. I'm taking Ben to the park.
Ross: All right, bye!
Ross: Later! (Exits.)
Phoebe: Uh, it's a piece of paper and it says, "Ross" on it.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Uhh, not much. You guys want to see a movie tonight?
Ross: I don't know, umm
Ross: What's with her?
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Action.
(Ross pauses and looks at him, Joey motions for him to hurry up.)
Ross: Dude, you are sick.
Joey: Man, I wish Ross was coming with us! Y'know? I'm gonna miss him!
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: I just wanna say good-bye to you guys and to see if you guys will place a little bet for me, huh? Twenty bucks on black 15.
Ross: All right!
Ross: Hey Pheebs, what 'cha reading? (Phoebe ignores him) Pheebs? (Turns away) Hello? (He sits down next to her and she moves over a bit.) Phoebe? (He moves closer and she keeps moving away.) Phoe-Phoebe! (They end up hanging over the arm rest.) Come on! (He grabs the magazine away from her.)
Ross: Phoebe, are you, are you mad at me, or something? 'Cause if are please, tell me what it is I did!
Ross: Well, I don't know.
Ross: Well, whatever it is I'm-I'm very, very sorry. Okay?
Ross: Okay. So we're, we're good?
Ross: All right. (Gets up.) I'll uh, I'll see you later, okay?
Ross: ALL RIGHT!! Phoebe now come on! Will you please tell me what it is I did that mad you so mad at me!
Ross: Well if you can't remember, can't we just forget about this?
(Ross isn't sure what to do with that comment.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are there. Ross is trying to figure out why Phoebe's mad at him.]
Ross: Okay, are you mad at me because my hair gel smells?
Ross: Are you angry at me because I said your handwriting is childlike?
Ross: Yeah? Sometimes it's (Does the fist thing.)
Ross: Okay, I'm the baby. (Points at his eye.)
Ross: Hey!
Phoebe: Ooh that is definitely Chandler, Joey, or Ross. (Thinks) Or-or Rachel!
Ross: (entering) Okay Pheebs, I know how we're going to figure this out. Okay, clear your mind and answer the first thing that comes into your head. Okay?
Ross: What do you like better flora or fauna?
Ross: Who would you rather be Simon or Garfunkle?
Ross: Why are you mad at me?
Ross: When did I say you were boring?!
Ross: Phoebe! You and I have never played chess!
Ross: Hey Rach, can you pass me the TV Guide?
(Phoebe jumps to the floor as Ross tackles Rachel off of the couch. Chandler helps push Rachel onto the floor by jumping over the back of the couch. Phoebe grabs Rachel's head to hold it still and opens Rachel's eye as Monica jumps onto Chandler's back to administer the torture--I mean medicine.)
Ross: I don't know, but when I spoke to her, she said she had already passed the mucus plug.
ROSS: Is there blood coming out of my ears?
Russell: Of course you did. Look Ross, you cant get an annulment unless you and Rachel are both there.
ROSS: Hey, Phoebs, how'd it go.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is prying at the Magic 8 Ball with a screwdriver as there's a knock on his door which he goes to answer.]
[The hallway. Rachel and Ross go out and they just stand there for a few seconds.]
Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck...
ROSS: Really?
ROSS: All right.
ROSS: What?
ROSS: Question. Why do we always have to have parties where you poach things?
ROSS: Thanks for being born.
ROSS: No. [sound of Dr. Remore's body hitting the bottom of the shaft] Now maybe.
ROSS: That's who.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]
Ross: Uhh, okay, its uh, Emily and I, we decided to uh, to get married.
Ross: (Back to Emma) Hi! (Looks at her) What... (Moves the stroller away from him so he can get a better look at her. He looks at her confused. Finally he realizes the difference and gasps). Please tell me those are clip-ons.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is eating breakfast, Ross is heading for the bathroom.]
ROSS: And that's what's gonna kill me. I'm allergic to kiwi.
ROSS: I know.
ROSS: Cool.
ROSS: No. no.
Guru Saj: I dont know, whats a koondis with you? (starts laughing as if that joke was funny, Ross only looks at him, and he stops) Please, lie down! Ive got a sav that oughta shrink that right up.
Ross: Look, I didnt think there was a relationship to jeopardise. I thought we were broken up.
Ross: Hiiii-Ya!! (Chandler lies back down.) Im serious! Youre not walking out on my sister!
Joey: Anyway! Her and Ross just started yelling at each other.
(Ross bangs his fists together to tell Chandler off, like what was learned last season. Read about it here.)
ROSS: Mine.
Ross: She's not here yet. She's not here. She's having my baby and she's not here.
ROSS: I'll take that dad. [grabs the bat]
JOEY: Yeah really, Ross, have you ever been beaten up before?
Ross: Come on! Like I wanted him to tell you, I ran all over the place trying to make sure that didnt happen!
ROSS: Buddy, my monkey, my monkey.
Ross: (To Chandler) And shame on you! You should know better, Joey needs to work. (To Joey) Now come on!
Ross: (imitating Parker) This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! (He backs into someone.) Ooh sorry (He looks behind him then notices its Phoebe then stops his impression.)
Monica: (holding up a small cowboy hat) This isnt mine. (Sets it down and looks at the rest of the boxes.) Hey, this isnt, this isnt my stuff! Ugh, Ross! (Grabs and holds up a doll.) These are your boxes! Where are my boxes?
Ross: (clutching a beer can and sniffing) This was Carol's favorite beer. She always drank it out of the can, I should have known.
(Ross and chandler are standing next to the alter. Ross is practicing for the wedding.)
Ross: I didnt know what I was taking full responsibility for! Okay?! I didnt finish the whole letter!
MRS. GREENE: Ross, what're you doing.
[Ross, Phoebe, Chandler, and Rachel all exchange money.]
Joey: Yeah, Ross. You and the baby just need better blocking.
ROSS: Hi, Julie. [nervous] Hi, Julie. Julie, um, how are you?
ROSS: Well, I just spoke to Carol. Ben's got the chicken pox.
Rachel: Oh, Ross, c'mon, please! Don't make this harder than it already is!
ROSS: Dad, I beg you not to finish that sentence.
Ross: Look, this is a disaster! Can't I please just go?
(They walk on. Chandler and Joey start to talk but Ross stops and whines.)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]
Ross: Oh! And it gets worse! (Turns his side to Chandler and Monica and pulls up his shirt. There's a distinct line across his body, where his belly is very tanned and his back is very pale.)
Ross: Ohh, okay.
ROSS: Ohh, big smoker. [Packs the cigarettes and flings one on Mrs. Greene in the process. Finally gets one in his mouth and it look really out of place] Big big smoker. In fact I'm gonna go ou into the hallway and fire up this bad boy. [as he walks into the hall, he comes face to face with Mr. Greene]
ROSS: Monica, if you want, I can lend you some money.
Monica: Ross, you've got to do something about the humping.
Ross: Of course I was mad! I told you I-I hate this stuff! Okay? It-its not funny!
Ross: So Pheebs, are you gonna go back out there or what?
Ross: Is it? Feels like two.
Ross: Still, you- you say Minnie, you hear Mouse. Um, how about, um.. how about Julia?
Ross: No, but itd be nice if you realised, its just a job!
Ross: You know how close women can get.
Ross: Thanks? But I have plans; Elizabeth and I are going out of town.
ROSS: I'm telling you, there's no way he's moving back.
Ross: Turns out them Emily is just crazy about Susan. Yeah, theyre going to the theatre together! Theyre going to dinner! Theyre going horseback riding!
Ross: No, no I don't, because it's being restrung, somebody was supposed to bring me one.
Bonnie: (to Ross) Shoot! I cant go, I have to work!
[Scene: The Launderama, Rachel is there, waiting for Ross. An old woman takes Rachel's clothes off the machine and begins loading it with her things.]
ROSS: Did you see me write one down?
Ross: Well, wait a minute, wha- why is she in the title?
Ross: All right, maybe it means that too
[Ross and Rachel leave.]
Ross: Dont you realise none of this wouldve ever happened if I didnt think at that same moment you werent having sex with Mark?
Rachel: Ross! Excuse me, pardon me, excuse me....
ROSS: Oh, great. Great. There was a projectile, uh, throwing up incident, but he started it.
MRS. GELLER: Ross, whose glasses are those?
ROSS: Bye Ryan.
Monica: No, Ross, we do not hate Emily. We-we just, we just think that you're having to sacrifice a whole lot to make her happy.
ROSS: Hi, we're visitiing. It's Ben and his da-da. Da-da. Can you say da-da? Look, I'm gonna tell your momies you said it anyway so you might as well try.
ROSS: No, I, I only know Lipson.
ROSS: Is this what you had in mind?
[Ross picks her up.]
Ross: (pause) Yes I would.
Ross: Well, umm, why dont you give him a call?
Ross: I...reorganized the fridge. See, bottom shelf: meats and dairy. (Theres nothing on the shelf.) Middle shelf: fruits and vegetables. (Theres one lone tomato.) And top shelf: expired products. (The shelf is jammed packed.)
ROSS: Get out!
ROSS: What's she look like?
Ross: Nothing. Oh, actually, great news! I just got off the phone with Emily and it looks like I'm moving to a new apartment. Woo-hoo!
(Feeling a little better, Ross fetches more coffee.)
Ross: (less sure) Yes.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Ross are there.]
Rachel: Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight over and over again, Ross, no, youre, youre, youre making this too hard.
ROSS: No, no, Pheebs, we can't, ok, because--
[Ross enters, depressed.]
Ross: Well I'm sorry but you were! Okay? And besides if anyone should be hitting on her it's the guy who's single, the guy that who-who-who can do something about it.
Ross: But hey, in my defense I-I just found out condoms are like only 97% effective.
Ross: Oh. Okay, just breathe.
ROSS: Are you all right?
ROSS: Hey, there.
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
Ross: Marsha, these are cave people. Okay? They have issues like 'Gee, that glacier's getting kinda close.' See?
Ross: You really serve people sneezers?