words in movies
Chandler: And I think Ross is generous too.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Joey: Hey Ross listen Chandler got you out of going to the lesbian sandwich museum this weekend!
Ross: Thanks? But I have plans; Elizabeth and I are going out of town.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Why? What?
Ross: No, no, thats funny. But maybe its time to move on, let it go, yknow? Stop it! Besides, Rachel is going out with Elizabeths father, so ah, hes much older than she is. Looks like Im not the only one interested in fossils, huh?
Rachel: I mean Ross all that does is remind us that you are interested in fossils.
Ross: Okay, okay. Uh, well uh, Rachel is going to need to yell sweet nothings (Paul enters) in his ear.
(And walks up right behind Ross, and standard sitcom joke 2B follows with the person being insulted standing right behind the person doing the insulting while the rest of the people become frightened and try to warn the insulter about the insultees presence.)
Chandler: Ross.
Ross: Oh, come on you guys; thats funny! Yknow? Because hes needhes got like a hearing aide yknow, cause-cause yknow, cause hes all old, and
(Paul reveals his presence by laughing, thus concluding standard sitcom joke 2B. Paul then pulls Ross aside to have a little chat with him and tells the rest of the group that hell just be one second.)
Paul: Okay look, Ross, just so you know that since Lizzie likes you so much, Ive decided to accept the fact that youre going out with her.
Ross: Really? That okay, thats great.
Ross: All right look, I-I realize it upsets you.
Ross: But, Elizabeth and I are-are both adults and so I dont think theres really anything you can do about it.
Ross: Ohh! A man with a plan!
[Scene: A Cabin in the Woods, Elizabeth is giving Ross a tour.]
Ross: This place is really beautiful!
Ross: Wow! The only thing I got from my Grandmother was her eyes. I mean not-not her actual eyeballs, but, but people say that my eyesDo-do you want to make out?
(They fall to the couch and start to make out, but Ross stops suddenly.)
Ross: Ehh, I was just, I was just thinking about your father.
Ross: No. No-no uh, he just, he just really freaked me out before.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: (loudly) Why?! Are there like bears or something?! (Looks around and then sees that Elizabeth is shaking her head no and realizes what Elizabeth meant.) Ohh. Oh, protection. Yeah-no, yeah-no, that-that-that I forgot.
Ross: Oh no! Hey-hey, Im the guy! Ill get it.
Ross: No.
Ross: A little bit.
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Ohh, okay.
(Elizabeth leaves and Ross starts to remove his clothing right there in the middle of the living room where someone can see him. Of course, someone almost does, but he hears a door opening and )
(Ross with his pants around his ankles tries to run, but Dr. Geller forgets that he has his pants around his ankles and falls down trying to flee.)
Rachel: I feel like were the only two people in the world. (She sets down her wine class, picks up a walnut, and knocks another one on the floor.) Oops. Sorry. (She reaches down to pick it up and Ross hands it to her. Ross is hiding under the couch and causes Rachel to scream.)
Rachel: Okay. (After Paul leaves Rachel drops to the floor to confront Ross.) What?! What are you doing here?!
Ross: What are you doing here?!
Ross: Yeah, I recognize the ankles!
Paul: (entering) Here you go honey! (Rachel kicks Ross back under the couch.)
Ross: (under the couch) You and your ice.
Rachel: Ugh! Get out! Get out! Go! Come on! (Ross gets up and heads for the kitchen.) No! Not in there! Hes in there! (She points Ross to the door next to the kitchen.)
Ross: (before entering) Did you really hear a bear?
Rachel: Well, why do yknow go in that room (points to the room Ross is in) and do your homework?
[Cut to his bedroom, Ross is listening at the door as Paul opens the door, trapping Ross behind it. With Pauls back turned Ross coils up like a snake and slitters underneath the bed.]
Paul: (standing in front of a mirror and to himself) Just relax. Just relax Paul, youre doing great. (Ross moves a piece of luggage over so he can watch Paul.) She likes you. She Maybe, she likes you. She likes you. Yknow why? Because youre a (pause) neat guy. (Ross cant believe what hes hearing.) You are the man. You are (pause) the man! (He opens his shirt and looks at his chest.) I still got it. Nice and sexy. Youre just a love machine. (Starts singing) Im just a love machine and I wont work for nobody but you! Hey bab-y! (Flexes and grunts loudly.) Showtime. (Starts to leave and starts singing.) Im just a love machine, yeah ba-by! (Grunts again and Ross is stunned.)
Elizabeth: Ross? Ross?
Ross: Elizabeth! (He opens one of the bed stands that he has curled himself up into.) Okay. Okay. (She helps him out.) Im gonna go out this window. (Points to the window next to him.) Ill meet you at the front door. Just tell them youre going home, okay?
(Ross frantically starts to open the window as Paul enters and traps him halfway out the window.)
Paul: Ross!
Rachel: Oh my God Ross! What in heavens name are you doing here?
Ross: (to Elizabeth) And that is why we cannot see each other anymore.
Paul: Ross. You and I are going to have to have a little talk.
Ross: Okay, please-please Paul, just let me explain
Ross: All right, fine! Fine! Have me fired! But uh, I want you to know that you and I are not all that different. I mean, I too am a neat guy. (Paul just looks at him.)
Ross: And I too am just a love machine. (Hums a little bit and mimics Pauls flexing.)
Paul: Ross, let me show you where the guest room is.
Joey: Ross, Ross, Ross... It's okay.
Ross: What?
Ross: Are you serious?
Ross: Wha... (gasps) What? What would give you that idea?
Ross: Thanks!
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Ah, yeah. We had a really good talk.
ROSS: I uh, I just got back from uh, from Julie's.
Ross: (returning from the phone.) So, I just picked up a message from Emily, she and Susan are going to a poetry reading together!
Ross: (gasps) OH NO!
Ross: (unpacking his bag) Okay, shoot!
Ross: Oh, yeah, no problems. Its all taken care of.
Ross: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You were saying?
Rachel: Uh, look Ross, this really isn't easy.
Ross: He hasnt gotten out of that chair in two days.
Ross: Duh, you think? (enters the kitchen)
Ross: (to Rachel) So, hes just a nice guy. You really think this Mark doesnt want anything in exchange for helping him?
Ross: My God. Rachel! (He walks towards her, grasps her hands and kisses her on the cheek.) Your here. I cant believe it. (She giggles.) What happen? Why are you here?
Ross: (Thinking it over) Sure! (Takes one) Hey, I just found out, I get Ben for the holidays this year.
Ross: (I can't make it out.) The uh, your hair, before, your hair, you said you thought your looks like an 8-year-old's, and I'm just saying I like it. The hair.
Joey: Ross?
Ross: So you two are..?
Rachel: We feel so terrible about this, Ross.
Rachel: Ross, say something. Anything.
(Ross looks shocked and says nothing.)
[Scene: Moondance Diner. Ross, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are sitting at the counter, Monica is working. Monica is wearing her costume, including big fake breasts.]
Joey: Ross..
Ross: Hey, you gotta get Mom on the phone. Call Mom! Call Mom!
Ross: Weird.. your psychic didn't mention anything about the scary pigeon...
Ross: Okay, okay, Ill tell em it wasnt Chandler who got high. Now who should I say it was?
Rachel: (now looking up at the ceiling) That is hard to say, Ross. That is hard to say.
Ross: Oh, I'm no actor, I'm a professor of palaeontology.
Ross: What? Fine? Because I am! Aren't you? Aren't you? Aren't you? You see? Who else is fine?
Rachel: Okay! (Picks up the phone and starts dialing.) (In an Irish accent) "Hello Ross, this is Dr. McNeeley from the Fake Accent University, wed like you to come on board with us full time! (Hangs up.)
Ross: Look, I dont feel like dancing, I feel like having a drink. Okay?
Prof. Sherman: (confused) You're welcome. (Ross hugs him again)
Ross: My fajitas!!
(Ross laughs.)
Ross: That is gonna hurt tomorrow!
(She hands the baby to Joey who pulls down the blanket to reveal Rosss face where the babys should be.)
(Three paleontologists walk by and Ross hugs Charlie trying not to be seen)
[Scene: Rosss office, hes unlocking his office door as Elizabeth walks up.]
Ross: What you got over there? Tacos?
Rachel: (to Monica): Thank you. (to Ross): I saw your twenty-five, and I raise you... seven.
Ross: Well, I do! Why don't we go back to my place, light a couple of candles, break open a box of Cinnamon Fruit Toasties, uh...
Rachel: (entering, with a guy) Hi guys! This is Josh. Josh, these are my friends, and that's Ross.
Ross: No. No. No, I'm-I'm glad you did. Look, if nothing else, it's-it's always great when someone tells you they love you.
Ross: Totally.
Ross: No!
ROSS: Animal sex, animal sex? So what're you saying, I mean, you're saying that like, there's nothing between us animal at all. I mean there's not even like, uhm, a little animal, not even, not even like, like chipmunk sex?
Rachel: Ross, you don't seem okay.
Charlie: Wait, Ross. Ross. I - I have to take off.
Ross: Well yeah-yeah the Scottish history is so much more
Ross: Okay.
(Ross goes to the kitchen.)
Charlie: God, Rachel, what Ross just said that is just so..
Rachel: You know what, Ross? I think we're gonna take off too.
Ross: I don't even know what that's for.
Ross: And have you .. ed?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Ross is in the living room covering Emma.� Rachel enters wearing a sexy dress.]
Ross: Thanks. Did you stay here all night?
Ross: So you took off my pants and shoes?
Ross: What do you mean?
Ross: Joey.
Joey: Yeah, but, Ross, I mean, you're not okay with it.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross is relating his recent conversation with Emily to the gang.]
Ross: Yeah, I'm sure.
Ross: Well, then, maybe it's time we all moved on.
Ross: (screaming) Everybody put their balloons down!!! (There is a temporary cease fire.) Now this is a nice suit!! (Shows everyone where he was hit.)
Ross: Let's celebrate with some maple candy!
Ross: The kid...? (To the kid) Excuse me, uh, that's, that's my puck.
Ross and Chandler: Hey!
Ross: (looking at Monica's legs) WOW!
Ross: Well, how about this year, instead of Santa, we have fun celebrating Hanukkah?
Ross: Eh, you got a spray-on tan?
Ross: I'm sorry, it's just... how did you get so tan?
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Ross are exiting a pizza place.]
Ross: Well... I like how you look, what are you?
Ross: Two, I think a two.
Ross: But all kidding aside, in much the same way that Homo ergaster [1] is now thought to be a separate species from Homo erectus...
(Phoebe fakes pain to get Ross looking for another doctor.)
Ross: Spray, count, pat, then turn, spray, count and pat.
Ross: You sprayed my front twice!
Ross: (sarcastically) Really!
Ross: I'm a four?
Ross: (annoyed) Ok!
Ross: So, how dark is it gonna get?
Ross: Well, ok, it's for 25 thousand dollars. And if I get it, I'll finally be able to complete my field research! And there will be an article about me in the "Paleontology Review"! Yeah! That'll be the first time my name is in there, without people raising serious questions about my work!
Ross: Hey Pheebs, maybe this whole heart attack thing is a sign, that-that you should start think about getting a different job.
Ross: I went to that tanning place your wife suggested.
Ross: (Still yelling) I Know!
Ross: No! I balanced my checkbook.
ROSS: I'm here. How's my little boy? Want Daddy to change your diaper? So, did you have fun with Uncle Joey and Uncle Chandler today?
Ross: Okay, stay calm. Nothing is going to happen to you, you are not in that much trouble.
Mr. Oberblau: (seeing her) Oh, you're back... (to Ross) this is my wife, Nancy.
Chandler: (To Ross) Can you believe how lame this is?
Ross: Which... which... which... Which one is it?
Ross: OH! SON OF A BITCH!
(As he walks past both Chandler and Ross notice the bag and stare at each other in shock.)