words in movies
Chandler: And I think Ross is generous too.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Joey: Hey Ross listen Chandler got you out of going to the lesbian sandwich museum this weekend!
Ross: Thanks? But I have plans; Elizabeth and I are going out of town.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Why? What?
Ross: No, no, thats funny. But maybe its time to move on, let it go, yknow? Stop it! Besides, Rachel is going out with Elizabeths father, so ah, hes much older than she is. Looks like Im not the only one interested in fossils, huh?
Rachel: I mean Ross all that does is remind us that you are interested in fossils.
Ross: Okay, okay. Uh, well uh, Rachel is going to need to yell sweet nothings (Paul enters) in his ear.
(And walks up right behind Ross, and standard sitcom joke 2B follows with the person being insulted standing right behind the person doing the insulting while the rest of the people become frightened and try to warn the insulter about the insultees presence.)
Chandler: Ross.
Ross: Oh, come on you guys; thats funny! Yknow? Because hes needhes got like a hearing aide yknow, cause-cause yknow, cause hes all old, and
(Paul reveals his presence by laughing, thus concluding standard sitcom joke 2B. Paul then pulls Ross aside to have a little chat with him and tells the rest of the group that hell just be one second.)
Paul: Okay look, Ross, just so you know that since Lizzie likes you so much, Ive decided to accept the fact that youre going out with her.
Ross: Really? That okay, thats great.
Ross: All right look, I-I realize it upsets you.
Ross: But, Elizabeth and I are-are both adults and so I dont think theres really anything you can do about it.
Ross: Ohh! A man with a plan!
[Scene: A Cabin in the Woods, Elizabeth is giving Ross a tour.]
Ross: This place is really beautiful!
Ross: Wow! The only thing I got from my Grandmother was her eyes. I mean not-not her actual eyeballs, but, but people say that my eyesDo-do you want to make out?
(They fall to the couch and start to make out, but Ross stops suddenly.)
Ross: Ehh, I was just, I was just thinking about your father.
Ross: No. No-no uh, he just, he just really freaked me out before.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: (loudly) Why?! Are there like bears or something?! (Looks around and then sees that Elizabeth is shaking her head no and realizes what Elizabeth meant.) Ohh. Oh, protection. Yeah-no, yeah-no, that-that-that I forgot.
Ross: Oh no! Hey-hey, Im the guy! Ill get it.
Ross: No.
Ross: A little bit.
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Ohh, okay.
(Elizabeth leaves and Ross starts to remove his clothing right there in the middle of the living room where someone can see him. Of course, someone almost does, but he hears a door opening and )
(Ross with his pants around his ankles tries to run, but Dr. Geller forgets that he has his pants around his ankles and falls down trying to flee.)
Rachel: I feel like were the only two people in the world. (She sets down her wine class, picks up a walnut, and knocks another one on the floor.) Oops. Sorry. (She reaches down to pick it up and Ross hands it to her. Ross is hiding under the couch and causes Rachel to scream.)
Rachel: Okay. (After Paul leaves Rachel drops to the floor to confront Ross.) What?! What are you doing here?!
Ross: What are you doing here?!
Ross: Yeah, I recognize the ankles!
Paul: (entering) Here you go honey! (Rachel kicks Ross back under the couch.)
Ross: (under the couch) You and your ice.
Rachel: Ugh! Get out! Get out! Go! Come on! (Ross gets up and heads for the kitchen.) No! Not in there! Hes in there! (She points Ross to the door next to the kitchen.)
Ross: (before entering) Did you really hear a bear?
Rachel: Well, why do yknow go in that room (points to the room Ross is in) and do your homework?
[Cut to his bedroom, Ross is listening at the door as Paul opens the door, trapping Ross behind it. With Pauls back turned Ross coils up like a snake and slitters underneath the bed.]
Paul: (standing in front of a mirror and to himself) Just relax. Just relax Paul, youre doing great. (Ross moves a piece of luggage over so he can watch Paul.) She likes you. She Maybe, she likes you. She likes you. Yknow why? Because youre a (pause) neat guy. (Ross cant believe what hes hearing.) You are the man. You are (pause) the man! (He opens his shirt and looks at his chest.) I still got it. Nice and sexy. Youre just a love machine. (Starts singing) Im just a love machine and I wont work for nobody but you! Hey bab-y! (Flexes and grunts loudly.) Showtime. (Starts to leave and starts singing.) Im just a love machine, yeah ba-by! (Grunts again and Ross is stunned.)
Elizabeth: Ross? Ross?
Ross: Elizabeth! (He opens one of the bed stands that he has curled himself up into.) Okay. Okay. (She helps him out.) Im gonna go out this window. (Points to the window next to him.) Ill meet you at the front door. Just tell them youre going home, okay?
(Ross frantically starts to open the window as Paul enters and traps him halfway out the window.)
Paul: Ross!
Rachel: Oh my God Ross! What in heavens name are you doing here?
Ross: (to Elizabeth) And that is why we cannot see each other anymore.
Paul: Ross. You and I are going to have to have a little talk.
Ross: Okay, please-please Paul, just let me explain
Ross: All right, fine! Fine! Have me fired! But uh, I want you to know that you and I are not all that different. I mean, I too am a neat guy. (Paul just looks at him.)
Ross: And I too am just a love machine. (Hums a little bit and mimics Pauls flexing.)
Paul: Ross, let me show you where the guest room is.
ROSS: Well, ya know, they're a little behind the times in Colonial Williamsburg.
ROSS: [comes out] All yours.
Ross: So they ah, they all took off, it was pretty hard watching them go, y'know?
ROSS: C'mon, just tell me, please, please.
ROSS: [childish voice] Shut up.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Ross enter in sweats carrying rackets.]
Ross: No problem. I cannot wait for you to meet my friends.
ROSS: Good, 'cause I love you.
Phoebe: Yeah and yeah, and it would probably be better than the last telephone job I had. Yknow, I probably wouldnt have to say spank as much. (Monica and Ross are shocked.)
Ross: Thanks. (Joey hugs him) OK.
Ross: (to the crowd in the laundromat) All right, show's over. Nothing to see here. (to Rachel) Ok, let's do laundry.
Ross: What, so this guy is helping you for no apparent reason?
ROSS: Yeah.
Mark: Ive kinda of had this ah, this crush on you. (Rachel is shocked) But since you were with Ross, I-I didnt do anything about it. But, now that youre not, Id really like to ask you out sometime. So-so thats-thats what Im doing, now.
ROSS: Well that's the first time we've said that.
ROSS: OK.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is talking to a man at the counter. Ross and Phoebe are sitting at the couches.]
Ross: (to Joey) It's ok, because they have to get it out of their system, okay (back to Mon and Chan), but you're going to realize, this is the only place, you wanna be.
Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Rachel: Oh yeah, really? Is it Ross? Yeah? Okay, well let me make this a just a little bit easier for you.
(They start to walk into the living room and notice someones head sticking up from behind a chair. The camera cuts to the other side and we see its Ross.)
ROSS: Well, I'm gonna kiss you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is siting on the couch as Ross and Chandler enter after playing basketball.]
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Do you remember the Ludwins? The big one had a thing for you, didn't she?
ROSS: I know.
Joey: (entering with Ross) Hey! You guys! Check it out, check it out! (Hes wearing a blue blazer) Guess which job I got.
Rachel: Yeah! I'm going to Paris. Thank you, Ross!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, there is a knock on the door and Ross opens it to Cassie.]
Ross: Cheater, cheater, compulsive eater.
Ross: Hey...! Rachel and I hired a male nanny.
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is telling Joey and Chandler what happened with Rachel.]
ROSS: Well, Monica keeps changin' the channel.
(Ross comes out of character to glare into the distance.)
ROSS: Really?
ROSS: And that wasn't fun for you?
ROSS: I can do that.
ROSS: What?
ROSS: So you wanna watch uh, Entertainment Tonight?
(She looks at Ross, a bit ashamed. Chandler mimes "big breasts" to Ross and lip syncs "Wow". Ross looks at him, astonished and then Monica looks at Chandler again. A little too late he changes the "big breasts" mime into "rocking a baby". When he realizes Monica might have seen it he also strokes his imaginary baby's head.)
ROSS: What woman?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is working on her holiday song, Chandler is sitting on the couch reading a magazine, and Ross is sleeping on the couch.]
Ross: Hmmm. Oh, no, no, I just thinking about something funny I heard today. Umm, Mark, Mark saying Ill see you Saturday.
[Ross enters]
Rachel: Hello? (Listens) Um, yeah, uh, (snapping her fingers at Ross who takes the remote from Marcel, then turns off the TV) Okay ah, hold on a second, lemme lemme just check and see if see if she's here.
ROSS: No, that, that was, I mean, as opposed to uh, the uh, ok. Is this over yet Rach?
ROSS: No. You're just gonna have to accept the fact that you're just friends now, OK, you're not... rommmates anymore.
Ross: See but, Pheebs that-that is the exact opposite intent of my music. Yknow my music is-is meant to inspire, and if it bothers you this much, then I I wont play anymore.
Ross: Look, dont worry. Okay? Youre gonna be fine.
(He walks over behind Ross, thinks about it for a moment, and gives him a big hug.)
JOEY: But uh, uh, what about uh, Ross and uh. . .?
ROSS: Yeah. Ya know, a boy and a girl. Hopefully the girl will come first so Ben here won't feel too competitive.
(We see Ross through the window and he acts like a swimmer that gets attacked by a shark, picture one of the many, many, many Jaws movies they made and you get the idea.)
Ross: Yknow, its interesting! Most people think thats made with seawater, when in fact
ROSS: Well, we should probably get going.
Ross: We got a head, we got shoulders, we got arms, we got, oh, look at the little fingers, oh, and a chest, and a stomach. It's a boy, definitely a boy! All right! Ok, legs, knees, and feet. Oh, oh. He's here. He's a person.
Joey: Ross good, I'm uh glad you're here. I wanna talk to you about something.
Ross: Its called the Bapstein-King comet, okay? (Joey starts to groan.) Hey! Hey! Bapstein was a very well respected astronomer!
Ross: Hey guys, does anybody know a good date place in the neighborhood?
[Scene: Outside Ugly Naked Guy's apartment, Ross is knocks on the door and Ugly Naked Guy answers it. He's ugly. He's naked. And he's holding a huge jumbo soda.]
Ross: Alright, I'm gonna go find them... (twitches a bit, looks down) I just need a... need a before I can... you know. (gestures standing up... they sit and wait for a while) Grandma... grandma... grandma... (he tries to concentrate...) Okay, I see you later.
Ross: Oh thank you. Thanks very much. (Leans up against the board and on a thumbtack.) Ow! (He pulls away.)
ROSS: Really?
Ross: Yes, yes it is. Its uh (Aunt Millie uses this opportunity to grab Ross and kiss him on the lips. After she leaves Ross quickly wipes his mouth with a napkin.) Every time on the lips! Why?! Why on lips?!
Ross: Wh-haa-haa! Look what cha did! (Rachel has her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing.)
Ross: Yeah but still, I mean it shouldve been me. Im the dad.
Ross: (entering, angrily) Joey!
Joey: That's OK, Ross, you can ask me. What?
Ross: Oh, I thought it was just a kid yelling, "Im gay! Im gay!" Can I bring her in?
ROSS: Knock-knock.
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Ross: Hey. How did, uh, how'd it go today?
Ross: That's funny, that, no, because, uh, our parents actually did, uh, send our dog off to live on a farm.
ROSS: G'night.
ROSS: Oh. And what do you call that?
Ross: well then I didn't need to bother you or the four other Mike Hanagens I bothered.
Ross: Getting it away from me would be job one.
ROSS: Yeah.
ROSS: Yeah.
ROSS: Open up. We want to talk to you.
ROSS: C'mon.
Ross: (sarcastically) And you didn't marry him because...?
ROSS: How could you not tell us?
Phoebe: You bought your sheets at a flea market? Ross come on, you gotta loosen the purse strings a little.
ROSS: Hey.
ROSS: Hey.
ROSS: Oh man.
ROSS: You got it.
Ross: Umm, did you notice anything wierd about Ben today?
ROSS: Hey you guys.
ROSS: Excuse me, your, your, your wind?
ROSS: No?
ROSS: Uh, sweetie we've gotta go.
ROSS: What, what's that?
ROSS: Open it, open in.
ROSS: Woah.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, a locksmith has finished changing the locks on Rosss door.]
ROSS: Look, I'm not being any of those things, ok, I'm just being realistic.
ROSS: That audition.
Rachel: Oh no, I know I couldnt see it either at first, but its right umm (Starts to cry) Ross, I lost it again.
ROSS: Ok, well then get some sense. I mean it took you what, 10 years to get that job, who knows how long it's gonna be till you get another.