words in movies
Chandler: And I think Ross is generous too.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Joey: Hey Ross listen Chandler got you out of going to the lesbian sandwich museum this weekend!
Ross: Thanks? But I have plans; Elizabeth and I are going out of town.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Why? What?
Ross: No, no, thats funny. But maybe its time to move on, let it go, yknow? Stop it! Besides, Rachel is going out with Elizabeths father, so ah, hes much older than she is. Looks like Im not the only one interested in fossils, huh?
Rachel: I mean Ross all that does is remind us that you are interested in fossils.
Ross: Okay, okay. Uh, well uh, Rachel is going to need to yell sweet nothings (Paul enters) in his ear.
(And walks up right behind Ross, and standard sitcom joke 2B follows with the person being insulted standing right behind the person doing the insulting while the rest of the people become frightened and try to warn the insulter about the insultees presence.)
Chandler: Ross.
Ross: Oh, come on you guys; thats funny! Yknow? Because hes needhes got like a hearing aide yknow, cause-cause yknow, cause hes all old, and
(Paul reveals his presence by laughing, thus concluding standard sitcom joke 2B. Paul then pulls Ross aside to have a little chat with him and tells the rest of the group that hell just be one second.)
Paul: Okay look, Ross, just so you know that since Lizzie likes you so much, Ive decided to accept the fact that youre going out with her.
Ross: Really? That okay, thats great.
Ross: All right look, I-I realize it upsets you.
Ross: But, Elizabeth and I are-are both adults and so I dont think theres really anything you can do about it.
Ross: Ohh! A man with a plan!
[Scene: A Cabin in the Woods, Elizabeth is giving Ross a tour.]
Ross: This place is really beautiful!
Ross: Wow! The only thing I got from my Grandmother was her eyes. I mean not-not her actual eyeballs, but, but people say that my eyesDo-do you want to make out?
(They fall to the couch and start to make out, but Ross stops suddenly.)
Ross: Ehh, I was just, I was just thinking about your father.
Ross: No. No-no uh, he just, he just really freaked me out before.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: (loudly) Why?! Are there like bears or something?! (Looks around and then sees that Elizabeth is shaking her head no and realizes what Elizabeth meant.) Ohh. Oh, protection. Yeah-no, yeah-no, that-that-that I forgot.
Ross: Oh no! Hey-hey, Im the guy! Ill get it.
Ross: No.
Ross: A little bit.
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Ohh, okay.
(Elizabeth leaves and Ross starts to remove his clothing right there in the middle of the living room where someone can see him. Of course, someone almost does, but he hears a door opening and )
(Ross with his pants around his ankles tries to run, but Dr. Geller forgets that he has his pants around his ankles and falls down trying to flee.)
Rachel: I feel like were the only two people in the world. (She sets down her wine class, picks up a walnut, and knocks another one on the floor.) Oops. Sorry. (She reaches down to pick it up and Ross hands it to her. Ross is hiding under the couch and causes Rachel to scream.)
Rachel: Okay. (After Paul leaves Rachel drops to the floor to confront Ross.) What?! What are you doing here?!
Ross: What are you doing here?!
Ross: Yeah, I recognize the ankles!
Paul: (entering) Here you go honey! (Rachel kicks Ross back under the couch.)
Ross: (under the couch) You and your ice.
Rachel: Ugh! Get out! Get out! Go! Come on! (Ross gets up and heads for the kitchen.) No! Not in there! Hes in there! (She points Ross to the door next to the kitchen.)
Ross: (before entering) Did you really hear a bear?
Rachel: Well, why do yknow go in that room (points to the room Ross is in) and do your homework?
[Cut to his bedroom, Ross is listening at the door as Paul opens the door, trapping Ross behind it. With Pauls back turned Ross coils up like a snake and slitters underneath the bed.]
Paul: (standing in front of a mirror and to himself) Just relax. Just relax Paul, youre doing great. (Ross moves a piece of luggage over so he can watch Paul.) She likes you. She Maybe, she likes you. She likes you. Yknow why? Because youre a (pause) neat guy. (Ross cant believe what hes hearing.) You are the man. You are (pause) the man! (He opens his shirt and looks at his chest.) I still got it. Nice and sexy. Youre just a love machine. (Starts singing) Im just a love machine and I wont work for nobody but you! Hey bab-y! (Flexes and grunts loudly.) Showtime. (Starts to leave and starts singing.) Im just a love machine, yeah ba-by! (Grunts again and Ross is stunned.)
Elizabeth: Ross? Ross?
Ross: Elizabeth! (He opens one of the bed stands that he has curled himself up into.) Okay. Okay. (She helps him out.) Im gonna go out this window. (Points to the window next to him.) Ill meet you at the front door. Just tell them youre going home, okay?
(Ross frantically starts to open the window as Paul enters and traps him halfway out the window.)
Paul: Ross!
Rachel: Oh my God Ross! What in heavens name are you doing here?
Ross: (to Elizabeth) And that is why we cannot see each other anymore.
Paul: Ross. You and I are going to have to have a little talk.
Ross: Okay, please-please Paul, just let me explain
Ross: All right, fine! Fine! Have me fired! But uh, I want you to know that you and I are not all that different. I mean, I too am a neat guy. (Paul just looks at him.)
Ross: And I too am just a love machine. (Hums a little bit and mimics Pauls flexing.)
Paul: Ross, let me show you where the guest room is.
Chandler: Well, my secretary is gonna be out for a couple of weeks. She is having one of her boobs redused. (Ross looks at her.) It's a whole big boob story.
Rachel: Yeah, maybe, but I dont think I even care. I dont think hes the one Im sad about. Yknow, I know that I said that I am totally okay with Ross getting married, but as it turns out, I dont think Im handling it all that well.
Ross: (loudly) So I'm going over to Amanda's tonight!
Ross: Uhh, it was okay. Yeah, it was fun.
Rachel: (on phone) Hello, Mark? Hi, its Rachel Green. (listens) Oh no, dont you apologize. (listens) Yeah, Ill hold. (to Monica and Ross) He left my number at work, but he was helping his niece with her report on the pioneers.
Ross: Why does Joanna need two assistants, how, how lazy is she?
Joey and Ross: (faking dissapointment) Okay.
CHAN: Hey, we're having some fun now, huh, Ross? Wanna do another one, huh Russ? OK... eleven letters, atomic element number 101... ends in ium.
Ross: Look at you! WhatYoure-youre this big executive! You are much more capable than you give yourself credit for. I-I have no doubt youre gonna be an incredible mother.
Chandler: (To Ross) No, thats okay. (Ross nods and retreats.) Monica I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever gonna had to do. But when I saw you walking down that aisle I realized how simple it was. I love you. Any surprises that come our way its okay, because I will always love you. You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. You wanna know if Im sure? (He leans in and kisses her.)
Phoebe: (To Ross) Which-which sister is this? Is this the spoiled one or thats bitter?
(cut to the street in front of Central Perk where Ross is walking Chappy. He has a plastic bag in his hand.)
(They shake hands. Cut to Ross emerging from a hallway, grinning inanely. He is obviously very stoned)
Ross: Because he called here looking for you. So don�t tell me this...this kissing this guy from work is a one time thing,ok? You�ve been out there in bars and on balconies for over a month now. And you didn�t even have the courtesy to tell me.
Ross: Look, I am a reasonable man. I will accept store credit.
Ross: Good, 'cause the ladies, not so much. (shakes his head, give him a thumbs up and leaves)
Chandler: When it comes down to it, you would risk your life for Ross before you would for me. That's the bottom line.
Rachel: Oh my God, Oh my God, here comes Ross. He's gonna flip out.
Ross: Yeah, see Mon, listen, listen. When Carol and I broke up, I went through the same thing. And you know what I did?
Ross: Just the one divorce in '99! Y'know what, I am gonna be happy this year. I am gonna make myself happy.
Chandler: Hang up, hang up. And that was a great movie! (Monica hangs up) I'm so gonna get back at Ross... oh yeah, this will show him, here we go (starts typing something).
[Cut to Monica and Ross leaving Joey and Chandlers hotel room in London. As they exit Joey and Chandler enter from the bathroom with both of their pants down around their ankles.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ben is playing in his crib while Chandler and Ross are leaning against the rim and are completely asleep.]
Ross: The way he makes me feel about myself.
Ross: She... she only dates geniuses and Nobel Prize winners. Oh my God, at the chinese restaurant earlier today, I put chopsticks in my mouth and pretented to be a woolly mammoth.
Ross: No, it's ok! Made me feel like a rock star!
Ross: Oh the bands ready! And wellI-Iwe gotta do what the band says, right? I dont care about the stinkin band!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Hyper-competitive Monica, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are still playing catch. Monica is finally tiring while the rest of them are totally exhausted and virtually asleep.]
Ross: Fajitas! Be careful, very hot plate, very hot plate!!
Ross: (embarassed) Oh, it was... it's complicated, you know? She... she was... eh... gay.
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!)
Monica: We should get over there and see if she's okay. (switching places with Ross) Just one...second! Score! (Monica scores, high-fives with Ross) Game! Come on. (Monica and Phoebe leave)
Ross: Pffhah.
Ross: (He puts his hand over the hole on the box.) (to Chandler) Now, well see.
(Suddenly Rachel clears her throat and the camera cuts to the rest of the gang staring at them. Needless to say Joey and Ross are shocked and slowly turn their heads to see the gang.)
Ross: So its really a question of who could you have possibly done.
Rachel: You had no right coming down to my office Ross. You do not bring a picnic basket to somebodys work! Unless maybe they were a park ranger!
Ross: Anyway, uhm...Well, I'm glad there's no hard feelings.
Ross: Oh My God, she-she made half a English Trifle, and half a...Sheperds Pie!
Ross: Oh, I uh, hope you don't mind, I kinda uh, jazzed it up a little. Check this out. (He plays the greeting, and We Will Rock You starts to play and Ross's voice comes over it.) We will, we will, call you back!
Ross: Come on Rach, you cant even eat alone in a restaurant.
Ross: No. I am not putting on makeup. (Knock at the door. Phoebe enters.)
Ross: He's unconscious, I think we'll be just fine!
Ross: Ok, I'm off to talk to my unborn child.
Kid: I found it. Finders keepers, losers weepers. (Ross looks at Chandler for help.)
Phoebe: Oh! The yuk! Ross, he's doing it again! (Points to a lamp which is shaking behind the sofa)
Ross: Chappy's heart rate has slowed way down.
Ross: (he kisses her on her forehead) Good night.
Ross: (feeling it too) No! No! Its wrong! Its-its-its naughty. Its taboo.
Monica: Oh Ross, sometimes grown-ups have commitments they just cant get out of!
Emily: Ross, take me off speakerphone.
Ross: Yeah, y'know how I have you guys, well she doesnt really have any close friends that are just hers, but last week she meet this woman at the gym, Susan something, and they really hit it off, and I-I-I think its gonna make a difference
Rachel: They're waiting for me, Ross. I can't do this right now, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Ross: What?! It is?! (He tries to quickly remove his gloves, but runs into trouble and finally throws them off of his hands like a hockey player in a fight and grabs Rachels belly.)
Chandler: Rachel got Ross the tuxedo that Val Kilmer wore in Batman. Okay Batman is so much cooler than James Bond!
Ross: That may be the most depressing thing Ive heard in my life. I should probably get these to my lawyers office.
Ross: What? (Excited) A-ohh! (Realizes) Ohh. Oh thats right thats right. Thats Richards favorite place too.
Rachel: Oh hey Ross... Listen, I heard about you and Charlie. I'm really sorry.
Ross: (acts surprised) What? (pause) Why not?
Ross: Why-why would I care about that?
PHOEBE: What is this obsessive need you have to make everyone agree with you? No, what's that all about? I think, I think maybe it's time you put Ross under the microscope.
(Ross and Emilys parents are seated at a table. Ross is between them and they are discussing the wedding bill.)
Ross: Anyway, I figured after work I'd go pick up a bottle of wine, go over there and, uh, try to woo her.
ROSS: Ok, well, if you do take him out for his walk, you might wanna bring his hat, and there's extra milk in the fridge, and there's extra diapers in the bag.
ROSS: I don't think tho.
Ross: I just, I dont understand, I mean, how-how can she do this? Yknow, what, am I, am I like a complete idiot for thinking that shed actually show up?
Ross: A basket of mini-muffins.
Ross: She says Marcel's humping thing's not a phase. Apparently he's reached sexual maturity.
Ross: Yeah, shes got to go back to London. But you know what? Ive been prepared for this from the start. We both knew we had two weeks together, and thats it. Yknow.
Phoebe: (pointing at Ross) Okay but if you dont find him and bring him back, I am gonna hunt you down and kick your ass!
(Ross hits the playback button.)
Ross: So when do you think youre gonna talk to her?
Ross: Oh! A fine choice. I'm coming out. (Starts to climb over the furniture)
(As they change places, they give each other the now patented Ross maneuver. If you dont know what that means, click here to find out The One With Joey's New Girlfriend.)
Rachel: Ross, honey, it's a nice couch. It's not a magic couch.
Ross: Yeah, but we-we have to be at the Four Seasons for drinks in 15 minutes and then yknow, then The Plaza for dinner.
[Scene: Ross' office. Ross is pacing and Benjamin enters]
[Scene: Rachel's bedroom, Rachel, entering selfish mode, is thanking Ross for wrongly taking the entire blame of the breakup; as if she had absolutely nothing to do with it.]
Ross: Okay! (picks up a knife and pretends to stab his heart.)
Chandler: Id like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will. (No one in the room laughs. He starts to get flustered.) Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. (Ross looks embarrassed.) And I thought things were going to work out for him..Until the day he over inflated her. (He laughs. Jack looks at Judy and no one in the room laughs.) Ohh, Dear God.. (A cellular phone rings.)
Ross: Yeah!!!! Yes, I made it! Im on time! (Grabs a bottle of water from a student, takes a drink, and splashes some on his face like the marathon runners do.) Okay, why dont we all uh, (Exhales loudly) open our books to page 23. Where (Exhales again) Where you will see a uh a bunch of uh red spots. Okay, (Closes his book.) umm, why dont, why dont you all start to read, while I(Passes out and collapses.)
Ross: I made fun of his accent.
(Ross quickly directs the families to their tables.)
Ross: (hysterically) I'm an eight!
Ross: From you? (He does a weird desperate laughter, like he's almost crying) Yes, please!
Rachel: Oh come on Ross, why are we wasting our time with this other stuff?! We know whats gonna work! Its doctor recommended!
Ross: (looking down) M-maybe I should hang and you can climb down me.
Ross: Well... (realizes, screaming like a little girl, trying to get rid of the spider) Whaa... aaah... aaahhh...
Ross: Joey! This is like the last commercial. You've got like (checks his watch) ten minutes left!
Ross: Really? Is it ethical to ask someone in a grant review, who was the voice of "Underdog"?
ROSS: [approaching the mover holding the parrot] Hey hold on, hold on. How much for the uh, how much to save the bird?
Ross: Oh, nothing, it’s just, it’s close to Ron. Does he.. Does little Ross like dinosaurs by any chance?
Ross: ...a what? A what? What's the end of that sentence?
Ross: Um, see, but thats not the final draft.
Ross: Well maybe it's cold in there. Or maybe I screwed up the first date I had in 9 years.
ROSS: Sure. By the way, there's a difference between being obsessive and. . .
Ross: So, what do you want to do tonight? Theres a Ukrainian film at the Angelica thats supposed to be very powerful. Interested?
Joey: (reading the card) Whoa! This guy is like the biggest commercial casting director in town! (Ross gasps) Ben takes one lousy walk in the park and gets an audition!! (Ross and Carol stare at him, then Joey realizes what he just said.) I mean, way to go Ben! (Gives Ben the thumbs up, which Ben returns.) Man! I've been in that park a million times and no one offered me an audition.
Ross: No. No, I gotta go home sometime.
Ross: O-okay, Rach calm-calm down, okay? She-shes really upset were just talking.