words in movies
Chandler: And I think Ross is generous too.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Joey: Hey Ross listen Chandler got you out of going to the lesbian sandwich museum this weekend!
Ross: Thanks? But I have plans; Elizabeth and I are going out of town.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Why? What?
Ross: No, no, thats funny. But maybe its time to move on, let it go, yknow? Stop it! Besides, Rachel is going out with Elizabeths father, so ah, hes much older than she is. Looks like Im not the only one interested in fossils, huh?
Rachel: I mean Ross all that does is remind us that you are interested in fossils.
Ross: Okay, okay. Uh, well uh, Rachel is going to need to yell sweet nothings (Paul enters) in his ear.
(And walks up right behind Ross, and standard sitcom joke 2B follows with the person being insulted standing right behind the person doing the insulting while the rest of the people become frightened and try to warn the insulter about the insultees presence.)
Chandler: Ross.
Ross: Oh, come on you guys; thats funny! Yknow? Because hes needhes got like a hearing aide yknow, cause-cause yknow, cause hes all old, and
(Paul reveals his presence by laughing, thus concluding standard sitcom joke 2B. Paul then pulls Ross aside to have a little chat with him and tells the rest of the group that hell just be one second.)
Paul: Okay look, Ross, just so you know that since Lizzie likes you so much, Ive decided to accept the fact that youre going out with her.
Ross: Really? That okay, thats great.
Ross: All right look, I-I realize it upsets you.
Ross: But, Elizabeth and I are-are both adults and so I dont think theres really anything you can do about it.
Ross: Ohh! A man with a plan!
[Scene: A Cabin in the Woods, Elizabeth is giving Ross a tour.]
Ross: This place is really beautiful!
Ross: Wow! The only thing I got from my Grandmother was her eyes. I mean not-not her actual eyeballs, but, but people say that my eyesDo-do you want to make out?
(They fall to the couch and start to make out, but Ross stops suddenly.)
Ross: Ehh, I was just, I was just thinking about your father.
Ross: No. No-no uh, he just, he just really freaked me out before.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: (loudly) Why?! Are there like bears or something?! (Looks around and then sees that Elizabeth is shaking her head no and realizes what Elizabeth meant.) Ohh. Oh, protection. Yeah-no, yeah-no, that-that-that I forgot.
Ross: Oh no! Hey-hey, Im the guy! Ill get it.
Ross: No.
Ross: A little bit.
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Ohh, okay.
(Elizabeth leaves and Ross starts to remove his clothing right there in the middle of the living room where someone can see him. Of course, someone almost does, but he hears a door opening and )
(Ross with his pants around his ankles tries to run, but Dr. Geller forgets that he has his pants around his ankles and falls down trying to flee.)
Rachel: I feel like were the only two people in the world. (She sets down her wine class, picks up a walnut, and knocks another one on the floor.) Oops. Sorry. (She reaches down to pick it up and Ross hands it to her. Ross is hiding under the couch and causes Rachel to scream.)
Rachel: Okay. (After Paul leaves Rachel drops to the floor to confront Ross.) What?! What are you doing here?!
Ross: What are you doing here?!
Ross: Yeah, I recognize the ankles!
Paul: (entering) Here you go honey! (Rachel kicks Ross back under the couch.)
Ross: (under the couch) You and your ice.
Rachel: Ugh! Get out! Get out! Go! Come on! (Ross gets up and heads for the kitchen.) No! Not in there! Hes in there! (She points Ross to the door next to the kitchen.)
Ross: (before entering) Did you really hear a bear?
Rachel: Well, why do yknow go in that room (points to the room Ross is in) and do your homework?
[Cut to his bedroom, Ross is listening at the door as Paul opens the door, trapping Ross behind it. With Pauls back turned Ross coils up like a snake and slitters underneath the bed.]
Paul: (standing in front of a mirror and to himself) Just relax. Just relax Paul, youre doing great. (Ross moves a piece of luggage over so he can watch Paul.) She likes you. She Maybe, she likes you. She likes you. Yknow why? Because youre a (pause) neat guy. (Ross cant believe what hes hearing.) You are the man. You are (pause) the man! (He opens his shirt and looks at his chest.) I still got it. Nice and sexy. Youre just a love machine. (Starts singing) Im just a love machine and I wont work for nobody but you! Hey bab-y! (Flexes and grunts loudly.) Showtime. (Starts to leave and starts singing.) Im just a love machine, yeah ba-by! (Grunts again and Ross is stunned.)
Elizabeth: Ross? Ross?
Ross: Elizabeth! (He opens one of the bed stands that he has curled himself up into.) Okay. Okay. (She helps him out.) Im gonna go out this window. (Points to the window next to him.) Ill meet you at the front door. Just tell them youre going home, okay?
(Ross frantically starts to open the window as Paul enters and traps him halfway out the window.)
Paul: Ross!
Rachel: Oh my God Ross! What in heavens name are you doing here?
Ross: (to Elizabeth) And that is why we cannot see each other anymore.
Paul: Ross. You and I are going to have to have a little talk.
Ross: Okay, please-please Paul, just let me explain
Ross: All right, fine! Fine! Have me fired! But uh, I want you to know that you and I are not all that different. I mean, I too am a neat guy. (Paul just looks at him.)
Ross: And I too am just a love machine. (Hums a little bit and mimics Pauls flexing.)
Paul: Ross, let me show you where the guest room is.
Rachel: (to Ross) Yes! Did you see that?
Ross: (coming back in with Rachel) Hey, you guys! What do you, what do you think about making that beach trip an annual thing?
Ross: No.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: What a beautiful story. Hey, I'm fine by the way.
Ross: He's in! Oh, did you hear that, Marcel? San Diego. San Diego!
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross is getting coffee at the counter. Chandler walks in.]
Ross: What?
Ross: Okay, flight 421 to Paris. I don't see it, do you see it?
Will: Me and Ross. (Points at Ross.)
Rachel: Even so, I think I'm gonna pick Ross.
Rachel: I think shes checking out your beehive Ross.
Ross: C'mon! C'mon!
Rachel: Whoa, wait, listen, I think Im just gonna talk to Ross about what he think it meant.
Paul: Ross, look, I know Ive been giving you a lot of jabs and its partly because Im very protective of Lizzie, and partly because well, they just keep coming to me. But I have to admit that after all the wonderful things that Lizzie has told me and the many, many, (pause) many stories that Rachel has told me that, well (pause) youre not (pause) all bad.
[Joey and Ross make confused faces.]
Ross: Must pee. (Goes to pee.)
Rachel: I didnt have to, because I was wearing my I heart Ross sandwich board and ringing my bell.
Ross: I can't believe that didn't work!
Ross: (in a deep voice) I'll have whatever Christine is having.
Phoebe: Rach, look! (she holds two buns up to her ears to make her hair look like the Princess Leia 'do.) Oh, hi! Where is my strong Ross Skywalker to come rescue me. (Ross stands up horrified) There he is.
[Scene: The Porsche, cars are whizzing by and honking their horns on both sides very quickly as Ross creeps along.]
Ross: I've no idea, could be. Listen, I'm sorry I had to work tonight.
Ross: Well ah, Aunt Silvia was, well not a nice person.
Ross: Okay, okay, we were on the ride along with Gary, right?
Ross: Yeah. Do that for another two hours, you might be where I am right about now. (He enters.)
Ross: Monica? You're Mom.
Ross: Of course not, I'm... suggesting Geller-Willick-Bunch.
Ross: You're right, you're right, it is...So you gonna invite us all to the big opening?
Ross: Actually, do you guys mind staying here for a while?
Carol: Ross, you remember Susan.
(After she's left, Ross gets really happy and starts kissing the card. Suddenly, she returns.)
Ross: Over here. (You can see Ross sitting at the far wall.)
Rachel: Well, Ross, we were worried about you. We didn't know how you were going to react.
Ross: Yeah! I know! It was. Oh the only sad thing is I wasnt around when it happened for the first time.
Ross: Oh, shhh, shh. Magic is about to happen.
Ross: No? What happened, big guy?
Ross: (to Gary) He told you everything! I mean you totally cracked him!
Ross: Oh whats the big deal?! I wasnt even invited to the ceremony, just the reception. And-and yknow what? If it makes you feel any better, Joan and I will just make an appearance and then, and then well-well leave early as a sign of protest.
Ross: Doesn't sound as crazy as paying a thousand dollars for a cat.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is on the phone with her mother. Phoebe, Rachel, and Ross are there.]
Ross: The word you're looking for is 'Anyway'...
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is showing Ross, Rachel, Joey, and Phoebe his engagement ring again.]
Rachel: Its a truffle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch, [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
Ross: Okay. I think it's time to change somebody's nicotine patch. (Does so.)
[Cut to inside the apartment, Ross decides to let Monica in and goes over and opens the door in mid-pound.]
Ross: Some can sing, some can dance. I apparently can turn phallic cakes into woodland creatures.
Rachel: Um... Ross?
Ross: That's my sister.
Ross: Pheebs, what about you?
Ross: Well, it was the only thing to do there that didn't have a line.
Ross: Step back.
Ross: Come on.
(Chandler laughs, turns, and sees that Ross and Joey arent happy.)
Ross: You won an adult Thanksgiving day spelling bee.
Ross: Mmmm.
Ross: I do.
(Ross gets up, pleased with himself.)
Ross: Wow, how many have you got?
Ross: Shhhh!
Chandler: Y'know what this is like? This is like when my parents got divorced. Man, I hope Ross doesnt try to kidnap me after Cub Scouts.
Joey: Okay, if Ross and Rachel ask, I've been here the whole time. THE WHOLE TIME!
Ross: Oh. Hel-lo!
Ross: See?
Joey: Uh hey look uh Ross, look I think we need to talk about before.
Ross: I'm going to do it.
Ross: Gimmie! (Takes the ring and puts it in his coat pocket as Rachel enters the hallway.)
Ross: Yes, yes, that's right...
(Ross flinches in pain.)
Rachel: All right Monica, do you want to know why I was with Ross tonight?!
Ross: (nonchalantly) Yeah?
Ross: But is it technically a date if the other person doesn't show up?
Ross: How come? Everybody else does.
Ross: It's not that easy, there's still a lot of relationship stuff.
Rachel: And Ross.
Ross: Kay, first of all, this attitude is not helping.
Ross: I dont know, I-I was all high.
Ross: No no no, go-
(Suddenly, theres movement beside her, startling her. Its Ross! He wakes up and they both start screaming in terror. Then they both grab their heads having aggravated their hangovers.)
Ross: Okay. Um is he a good guy?
Mrs. Green: With another woman. Have you no control Ross?
Ross: Wha-What did he say that was so funny?
Ross: Carol was wearing boots just like those the night that we- we first- y'know. Fact, she, uh- she never took'em off, 'cause we-we- (off Chandler's look) Sorry. Sorry.
Joey: Look, Ross look, Im on board about this totally honesty thing, I am, just not about stuff thats gonna get you in trouble.
Ross: That's... that's classic.
(Ross looks at Joey.)
Ross: Thing, yes. Thing.
Paolo: Ross!
Ross: Paolo. Hi.
Ross: Yeah! Se vice?
Ross: Well umm, oh! I might be teaching another class this semester!
Ross: I dont know, aheh, yours was the first name that-that popped into my head, Im Im sorry. I-I didnt think it would matter.
Ross: Thank you.
Ross: Great! Great. Then I mustve left it at Monas. I knew it!
Ross: Oh.. oh... oh.
Ross: That guy, he burns me up.
Ross: No you didn't. You said you would, but you never did!
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, and Julie are sitting on the couch.]
Ross: Kinda... spooky without any lights.