words in movies
Chandler: And I think Ross is generous too.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Joey: Hey Ross listen Chandler got you out of going to the lesbian sandwich museum this weekend!
Ross: Thanks? But I have plans; Elizabeth and I are going out of town.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Why? What?
Ross: No, no, thats funny. But maybe its time to move on, let it go, yknow? Stop it! Besides, Rachel is going out with Elizabeths father, so ah, hes much older than she is. Looks like Im not the only one interested in fossils, huh?
Rachel: I mean Ross all that does is remind us that you are interested in fossils.
Ross: Okay, okay. Uh, well uh, Rachel is going to need to yell sweet nothings (Paul enters) in his ear.
(And walks up right behind Ross, and standard sitcom joke 2B follows with the person being insulted standing right behind the person doing the insulting while the rest of the people become frightened and try to warn the insulter about the insultees presence.)
Chandler: Ross.
Ross: Oh, come on you guys; thats funny! Yknow? Because hes needhes got like a hearing aide yknow, cause-cause yknow, cause hes all old, and
(Paul reveals his presence by laughing, thus concluding standard sitcom joke 2B. Paul then pulls Ross aside to have a little chat with him and tells the rest of the group that hell just be one second.)
Paul: Okay look, Ross, just so you know that since Lizzie likes you so much, Ive decided to accept the fact that youre going out with her.
Ross: Really? That okay, thats great.
Ross: All right look, I-I realize it upsets you.
Ross: But, Elizabeth and I are-are both adults and so I dont think theres really anything you can do about it.
Ross: Ohh! A man with a plan!
[Scene: A Cabin in the Woods, Elizabeth is giving Ross a tour.]
Ross: This place is really beautiful!
Ross: Wow! The only thing I got from my Grandmother was her eyes. I mean not-not her actual eyeballs, but, but people say that my eyesDo-do you want to make out?
(They fall to the couch and start to make out, but Ross stops suddenly.)
Ross: Ehh, I was just, I was just thinking about your father.
Ross: No. No-no uh, he just, he just really freaked me out before.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: (loudly) Why?! Are there like bears or something?! (Looks around and then sees that Elizabeth is shaking her head no and realizes what Elizabeth meant.) Ohh. Oh, protection. Yeah-no, yeah-no, that-that-that I forgot.
Ross: Oh no! Hey-hey, Im the guy! Ill get it.
Ross: No.
Ross: A little bit.
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Ohh, okay.
(Elizabeth leaves and Ross starts to remove his clothing right there in the middle of the living room where someone can see him. Of course, someone almost does, but he hears a door opening and )
(Ross with his pants around his ankles tries to run, but Dr. Geller forgets that he has his pants around his ankles and falls down trying to flee.)
Rachel: I feel like were the only two people in the world. (She sets down her wine class, picks up a walnut, and knocks another one on the floor.) Oops. Sorry. (She reaches down to pick it up and Ross hands it to her. Ross is hiding under the couch and causes Rachel to scream.)
Rachel: Okay. (After Paul leaves Rachel drops to the floor to confront Ross.) What?! What are you doing here?!
Ross: What are you doing here?!
Ross: Yeah, I recognize the ankles!
Paul: (entering) Here you go honey! (Rachel kicks Ross back under the couch.)
Ross: (under the couch) You and your ice.
Rachel: Ugh! Get out! Get out! Go! Come on! (Ross gets up and heads for the kitchen.) No! Not in there! Hes in there! (She points Ross to the door next to the kitchen.)
Ross: (before entering) Did you really hear a bear?
Rachel: Well, why do yknow go in that room (points to the room Ross is in) and do your homework?
[Cut to his bedroom, Ross is listening at the door as Paul opens the door, trapping Ross behind it. With Pauls back turned Ross coils up like a snake and slitters underneath the bed.]
Paul: (standing in front of a mirror and to himself) Just relax. Just relax Paul, youre doing great. (Ross moves a piece of luggage over so he can watch Paul.) She likes you. She Maybe, she likes you. She likes you. Yknow why? Because youre a (pause) neat guy. (Ross cant believe what hes hearing.) You are the man. You are (pause) the man! (He opens his shirt and looks at his chest.) I still got it. Nice and sexy. Youre just a love machine. (Starts singing) Im just a love machine and I wont work for nobody but you! Hey bab-y! (Flexes and grunts loudly.) Showtime. (Starts to leave and starts singing.) Im just a love machine, yeah ba-by! (Grunts again and Ross is stunned.)
Elizabeth: Ross? Ross?
Ross: Elizabeth! (He opens one of the bed stands that he has curled himself up into.) Okay. Okay. (She helps him out.) Im gonna go out this window. (Points to the window next to him.) Ill meet you at the front door. Just tell them youre going home, okay?
(Ross frantically starts to open the window as Paul enters and traps him halfway out the window.)
Paul: Ross!
Rachel: Oh my God Ross! What in heavens name are you doing here?
Ross: (to Elizabeth) And that is why we cannot see each other anymore.
Paul: Ross. You and I are going to have to have a little talk.
Ross: Okay, please-please Paul, just let me explain
Ross: All right, fine! Fine! Have me fired! But uh, I want you to know that you and I are not all that different. I mean, I too am a neat guy. (Paul just looks at him.)
Ross: And I too am just a love machine. (Hums a little bit and mimics Pauls flexing.)
Paul: Ross, let me show you where the guest room is.
RUSS: [sounding like Ross] Hhhhiiiii.
ROSS: Ugh. It's definitely getting worse.
ROSS: Good for you.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is opening the door to Monica.]
ROSS: With mealworms.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are entering the living room from her bedroom.]
ROSS: Huh?
ROSS: How'd the callback go?
[Time lapse. Melanie, Joey's girlfriend, is there with Joey, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel. Ross is gone.]
Ross: I can't believe it! He's looking right at us!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is getting help writing his vows from Joey and Ross.]
Rachel: No honey, okay, okay, you wanna know why Ross canceled the date? Because I asked him to.
Ross: Yes, but I did make a pyramid out of the bath products. This is amazing, thank you, thank you so much. (he leans in, and they look at each other for a moment) That's a pretty necklace.
Ross: Hey, yknow what and if youre looking for a place? I just heard in the elevator this morning that a woman in my building died.
ROSS: And, uh, and then I kissed her.
ROSS: Rach, hey look, I remember that, it wasn't so bad.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Rachel and Ross are there. Ross is trying to get the dress off Marcel.]
Ross: And hey, here's to a lousy Christmas.
ROSS: [being drawn in by her talk] Uh-huh.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Phoebe, and Chandler are sitting.]
ROSS: What happened?
Ross: Yeah. I'm paying you to stop.
Monica: Well, that's it (To Ross) You gonna crash on the couch?
ROSS: What?
Ross: Hey! Wha-hoo! What's this? (showing the bottle) Well it's a, it's a bottle of champagne. Why is this here?
Rachel: Ok, Ross, what�s going on here, are we just bringing strange women back to the apartment now?
Ross: Ive got to say; I know I divorce a lot of women, never thought I would be divorcing you.
Joey: Well Ross was hangin out over at our place, Rachel comes over to borrow some moisturiser from Chandler....
Phoebe: (entering) Ross! How could you do that to an old man?!
Ross: Thats funny. Yeah. Yknow youre the funniest man here in a pink bunny costume his wife made him wear.
ROSS: Oh really? What uh, what does he want with her?
Ross: I can't believe we're gonna be the only people that aren't in this wedding.
Ross: Well, I... I am having a good hair day.
Ross: (not turning around) Chandler. I sensed it was you.
Chandler: Oh, okay Ross. Listen, this pen is kinda getting boring, so can you pick me up some porn?
Ross: Phoebs, It's open! It's open!
Ross: Why dont they just jump out of an airplane?! Huh?! That-thats a fun date! Or burn each other with matches?! Thats fun too! Whew!!
Ross: Come on Pheebs, its not that bad! Yknow most people would be excited if they didnt have to work for a couple of weeks.
Ross: Ok, no, no, you hang up. You, you, y...
Ross: (to Joey): Joey, I'm a little shy.
ROSS: That's it? That's all you wrote? You're the worst writer in the whole world.
Ross: No really, I mean, I mean, God, I could use a friend.
ROSS: But, you are.
ROSS: I was saving you.
ROSS: No, but. . .
ROSS: Well, but, but. . .
ROSS: Uh, uh, well you're, umm, you're my lobster.
ROSS: Oh.
RACHEL: Ross, there is no us, OK.
Ross: (jumping away) That would be no.
ROSS: Hey guys.
JULIE: Yeah, we figure it'll live with Ross half the time, and with me half the time.
Ross: Well thats different! Okay? Because he, he was actually in love with me!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is packing her belongings to move to Rosss. Shes standing in the kitchen.]
Ross: Guys? There's a somebody I'd like you to meet.
Ross: Yeah, which, which we have to leave for in exactly twelve minutes. All right, come on, I'll just pick something out for you.
Ross: (talking agitated and angry) Everyone gets a goodbye but me? What have I got to do to get a goodbye, huh? Be best friends with you? Uh, go out with you? Have a baby with you? Oh wait a minute, wait a minute, I did all those things.
(Ross looks at her, then leaves slamming the door behind him.)
ROSS: Yes, yes I am. And you are a....
MONICA and ROSS: In the bank.
Ross: Yeah, he's a little sensitive right now, `cause he's so in love.
ROSS: [Rachel enters] Oh.
ROSS: You know what, you guys, we don't have to watch this.
ROSS: Hi.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Ross is still doing his list. Rachel and Joey are feeding the dog as the phone rings.]
ROSS: this summer?
Rachel: Okay. Uhh, Ross, y'know what, there's something that I-that I have to talk to you about and everybody's saying that I shouldn't tell you, but I think they're wrong. I mean, and you know how people can be wrong.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Rachel, and Monica are hanging out.]
ROSS: Dad, she won't want to go with me.
ROSS: Yeah, well.
Joey: Its Ba-go-ta, but close enough. Now, you can either pass your turn to Ross or pick a Wicked Wango card.
Ross: Mine stole my newspaper! Its like a crime wave!! (Monica runs to make more candy.) Pheebs, you uh, you got a second.
Ross: Okay. (goes out onto the balcony)
Ross: (gets up) All right. Y'know what? We dont have to go downstairs! We can bring Vegas up to us! (He grabs a deck of cards and pulls up a chair.) All right, come on, come on, we'll play some blackjack. Here we go. (Deals the cards.) 13.
Ross: No I left the diapers at the hospital! Theres some in the bag but Ill run out and get some more.
Elizabeth: (To Ross) You want some?! (Starts to squirt the Kamikaze at him.)
ROSS: Bye guys.
(Ross turns around and sees Rachel sitting by the window. She is just glaring at him.)
Phoebe: Well, I would love to but the bike got stolen and the police have no suspects. (Ross just happens to have his hand on a sheet that is covering something that suspiciously looks like a bike.)
Chandler: Yes, and while I'm doing that, Ross has a great computer story for you.
[ROss approaches Rachel at counter.]
Monica: (to Ross)So, did you come by to watch us win the big bucks?
Ross: Well, I tried! But when I got to my lawyers office all I could hear was, "Three divorces. Three divorces!" Look, I just dont want my tombstone to read, Ross Gellar, Three Divorces.
ROSS: Oh.
ROSS: Hey, someone order a coat?
Rachel: (To Ross) You know what? We should call my mum's house and say goodnight to Emma before she goes down.
Joey, Chander, and Ross: Sorry.
ROSS: What, what.
ROSS: Mon.
ROSS: Mon.
ROSS: [enters] Ok, what the hell happened back there?
ROSS: And that's, that's funny why?
ROSS: No.
ROSS: No.
ROSS: No.
Rachel: So Ross, we went out for two years, and you never told me you were in an I Hate Rachel club.
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you know that right now, your baby's only this big? (measures about 2 inches with his thumb and index finger) This is your baby. (in baby-like voice) Hi Daddy!
Rachel: Now wait a minute thats not fair. He was married to me a hell of a lot longer than he was married to Emily, he just didnt tell me. (Everyone looks at her, Ross not happily.) Maybe I have to pee again. (Gets up to try to use the bathroom.)
ROSS: That's romantic.
[Ross enters]