words in movies
Ross: What happened?
Ross: Yeah, anything goes, except ah, eye gouging and fish hooking.
Ross: Huh, whats fish hooking... (Joey sticks his finger in Rosss mouth and pulls on his cheek, y'know like when you hook a fish.) (to Joey, sarcastic) Thanks man, that would have been really hard to describe. What is that taste?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is making reservations.]
Ross: (on phone) Thats right, Ryder. Wynona Ryder for six. (listens) Thank you. (hangs up) (to the gang) Yeah, we have the reservations.
Ross: (stunned) Dude, what are you doing?
Joey: Yeah, maybe its like y'know, that jock thing. Y'know how football players pat each other after touchdowns. (pats Ross on the butt)
(Ross throws his hands out in a What are you doing? gesture)
Ross: All right so, Chandler, from now on, dont give your boss a chance to get you. Y'know just ah, dont turn your back to him.
Chandler: (to Ross and Monica) What if Joey were president?
(Monica, Ross, Chandler, and Joey exit.)
Phoebe: Okay, you can totally say no, but umm, would it be okay with you if I set Ross up on a date?
Phoebe: Umm, my friend, Bonnie. She just always thought Ross was really cute, and now that you two arent together, she asked if I could set it up, but if youre not cool with it...
Phoebe: Well, maybe it wont work out. Maybe Ross wont like her personality.
[Scene: The Ultimate Fighting Championship, Ross and Monica are there watching Pete.]
Ross: (walking up with this huge tub-o-popcorn and drink) Hey!
Monica: God Ross, what is that?
Ross: Yeah, its the Ultimate Fighting Combo. Yeah, I saved thirty cents, plus I get to keep the cup. Yay!!
[Pete enters with his entourage all pumped up, and Ross and Monica are the only ones who stand up and cheer.]
(The crowd goes wild, and Ross is the only one boo-ing him.)
Ross: Well, then that guy is in serious, serious trouble.
Ross: All right! You go get him! Lets go!
(Tank carries Pete over to the other side of the ring, and we see both Ross and Monica wince in pain.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's balcony, Ross and Phoebe are grilling some burgers and hot dogs.]
Ross: Hey! How long until Petes fight?
Ross: Hot dog?
Monica: Four, please. (Ross looks at her) Im really nervous. (Ross gives her the four dogs) Thank you. (she grabs four buns, and heads back inside)
Phoebe: So Ross, how umm, how did it go with Bonnie?
Ross: What? Oh! I gotta tell you, I-I wasnt expecting to like her at all, I mean I actually wasnt expecting to like anyone right now, but shes really terrific.
Ross: No, I-Im saying I liked her.
Ross: Pheebs, I think shes great. Okay? Were going out again.
Ross: Ahh, the one next to my foot. Sorry.
Ross: Okay, well be right in. (to Chandler) So ah, did your boss try to slap you again today?
(Chandler, Ross, and Phoebe all stop dead in their tracks at the news.)
Rachel: (seeing Ross and Bonnie inside Central Perk) Oh my God! Phoebe look, its Ross and that girl.
(We see Ross and Bonnie laughing and having a good time.)
Phoebe: (looking in the window) Right, oh yeah. Wow, oh, it looks like Ross is breaking up with her. Uff, I hope he lets her down easy. Lets go.
Phoebe: Okay, first of all, breathe. Second of all, I dont get it. Arent you the one that decided that you didnt want to be with Ross?
Ross: Well, this is ironic. Of your last two boyfriends, Richard didnt want to have kids, and from the looks of it, now Pete cant.
ROSS: Not at all! I love this guy. Hey, I was so psyched to hear you're back with my sister!
Ross: Yeah! Yeah! OK! Sure! Look! Can we...can we talk about what happened here last night?
Ross: Why...Why should I? I mean if she wants to move on, that's fine!
Ross: (not getting it) Yeah! Yeah! Rachel picked it out for me. She told me to trust her and you know what? I'm glad I did! I turned quite a few heads on my way over here.
(They all leave but Ross, but they all come back a few seconds later. They make faces at the baby.)
[Scene: The hallway between the bedrooms. Ross is coming upstairs and stops between two doors. He looks at the one on the right, then he looks at the one on his left, thinks about it, and goes in the one on his right.]
Ross: What are you doing here, Santa?
Chandler: Oh really?! You think youre stronger? Why dont you prove it? (He pushes Ross who starts to fall backwards until Mona catches him.)
Guy: (To Rachel) So uh, I'm on my way back to the bathroom. (Ross giggles.)
[Scene: The ticket-counter. Ross and Phoebe have their tickets and start looking at the screens in order to find the gate.]
Ross: Don't you have to be at work?
Ross: No. When he called, I...I threw the message away.
Gavin: What's Ross doing to you on that picture?
ROSS: All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and dammit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes (kisses Joey).
Rachel: I thought it was Ross.
(Ross finds a clock, sees its almost 8:30, and silently screams.)
(Ross stands next to him for a second, then goes and watches the movie.)
ROSS: Rachel, lock the door.� Lock the door,� seriously.
Ross, Joey and Chandler: Bye, Emma-Wemma-Demma.
Ross: Yeah, well, Hurricane Gloria didnt break the porch swing, Monica did!
Gavin: I think you should talk to Ross about all this.
Chandler: Yes I'm gonna put it back (Mocking Ross) exactly where I found it.
Ross: No, its Its not that. Umm, now what Im going to say to you, Im not saying as your friend. Okay? Im-Im saying as it as Monicas older brother.
Ross: I know! (he stands)
Ross: Look, Carol never threw me out of a room before you came along.
Ross: You are not putting that on again! Marcel, OKif you press that button, you are in very, very big trouble.
Ross: (seeing Phoebe still with cat) You didnt tell her?! (They all kinda shy away.) Okay, fine! Pheebs?
Will: Oh, Ill-Ill be fine. Just God I hate her Ross! I hate her!
Ross: But, what�s great is that you don�t mind talking about it.
Ross: Uh-ah!
(Ross walks over to the woman, egg in hand.)
(Ross notices that Paolo is standing on a step, which makes him taller. Ross gets up on the same step so he can look down at Paolo.)
Ross: Oh, yeah, hello, well, now, here I am.
Ross: Okay, forward. ForwardStop! (The car moves an inch and Ross runs to the back of the car.) Okay, backStop! (The car barely moves and Ross runs back to the front.) Okay, forwardStop! Stop! Stop!
Ross: Oh, yeah, yeah that�s Michelle.
Ross: Oh, just this woman I�ve been seeing.
Ross: Through the magic of sight! I was here, putting our child to sleep...
Ross: (To Joey) I know, I wasnt finished. (Joey motions him to finish.) (Yelling at the street) But dont worry! Were gonna go down the fire escape!!
Ross: I told you about my daughter.
Ross: We�ll see.
[Scene: Ross�]
Ross: Are you kidding?
ROSS: [sitting at table talking to a girl] It's hard to tell because I'm sweating, but I use exactly what the gel bottle says, an amount about the size of a pea. How, how can that be too much?
Michelle: Ross, you didn�t tell me you were a doctor!
Ross: Ok.
Ross: Oh, great. It's starting to rain, that will make it easy to get a cab.
Ross: Oh, really!
Ross: (knowing she's not alright) O-kay. Well, I'm gonna go grab us some breakfast. (He starts to leave)
Ross: Oh, really!
Ross: I am the guy who�s taking care of our baby while you�re out at bars meeting guys!
Ross: What?
Ross: The guy you gave your number to.
Ross: What about the guy from the bar?
Rachel: Ross?
Ross: I don�t know.
Ross: Hey, hello! mmwa! (kisses Carol) I brought all the books, and Monica sends her love, along with this lasagna.
Ross: Who am I?
Ross: I never gave it to you.
Ross: (with the altered voice) Thank you guys-guys-guys
Ross: Uh, clearly.
Ross: Yeah, maybe not. So what you wanna do?
Ross: OK you...you really don't know what I am talking about?
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Ross: Yeah?
(Ross enters.)
Chandler: Say Ross, when you picture Phoebe living on the street, is she surrounded by the entire cast of Annie?
Ross: Yeah, that'll do it.
Ross: I'm, I'm okay.
Ross: All right. (He gently tosses the ball to Chandler who catches it.)
Ross: Yeah? Any names come to mind?
Ross: Dont be scared, I-I know it sounds crazy and-and people will say its too soon, but just-just think, think how great it will be.
Ross: Yeah, it's no big deal. It's just a blind date.
Ross: No!
ROSS: No, um, see 'cause that, that is, that is the staging area. If you go in there, it'll ruin the whole illusion of the party. Yeah, I think you take your scotch back in there and I will get your cigarettes for you sir.
Ross: Hey, I don't know what to tell you guys that's the doll he chose.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Ross is eating the dinner Carol made for Susan.]
Ross: Wow, free crab cakes. Well, that's nice. Although I was hoping to have sex tonight.
Ross: Eh, if it was meant to be, it's meant to be.
(Ross sees the waiter looking at him.)
Ross: What's - what's going on?
Ross: Hey! Guess what I got for your wedding! (Holding up his garment bag.)
Ross: Whew! That was a brisk ride!
Ross: Female body inspector? What size is that?
Ross: Hey, what's wrong?
Ross: Well, what happened?
Ross: Oh. Crab cake?
Ross: I did, too.
Ross: All right. All right, Ill do it.
Ross: That bad?
Ross: Hows Monica coming along with her vows?
Ross: Why does everyone keep saying that?
(Phoebe sees Rachel and Ross through the window.)
Ross: Just the crab cakes.
Hillary: Okay. (She goes to turn the lights off and Ross sits on the couch. She has some black light posters on the wall.)
Ross: That's it. I'm in my apartment, you're not there, we're not having this conversation. (gets up, walks across room)
CHANDLER and JOEY: Woah, hey, yo. [Rachel and Ross move]
Ross: (laughs) You dont-you dont want to hear about my dream Officer Pretty?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch. Ross sits down.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Chandler, and Monica are there as Joey enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, They are returning from the rugby game, Joey and Emily are carrying Ross.]