words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is reading a magazine, eating a cookie, and drinking some coffee as Phoebe enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Oh, that. Umm, she took it really well.
Ross: No.
Ross: I am not in love with her. She was very upset about having to move out so I eh, didnt tell her we were still married because she would only get more upset. I-I just comforted her, as a friend.
Ross: Its nothing, I just gave her a hug.
Ross: Its also a sign of friendship.
Phoebe: Yeah, not in your case Lovey Loverson. (Tries to take a bite out of Rosss cookie.)
Ross: (grabs back his cookie) It was a hug!
Ross: S-s-smell her hair? What if I did?
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
Ross: I was hugging her as a friend. Its not my fault her-her hair got in my face, shes got a lot of it and it smells all-all uh coconutty. (Phoebe raises her eyebrows.) What?! Oh, that doesnt mean I have feelings for Rachel! Maybe it means I have feelings for coconuts!
Ross: (grabbing back his coffee) If the place you are referring too is being in love, then she is in the same place as me because I am not in that place!
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Rach, uh, you still looking for a place?
Ross: Okay, theres this guy, Warren, from the museum and hes going on a dig for like two years and hes got this great place he needs to sublet. So uh, you interested?
Ross: Dont thank me! If you wanna thank something, thank the volcano that erupted thousands of years ago, killing but perfectly preserving an entire civilization. (Rachel just looks at him.) Heres Warrens number.
Ross: Okay, you go grab it!
Ross: I dont know what youre talking about.
Ross: Look, I do not re-love her.
Ross: Look, were just friends now! Okay? Why would I do anything stupid?
Ross: You can live with me.
Ross: What?
Ross: Uh-huh. (Phoebe grunts.)
Rachel: I would love to live with you Ross; thats-thats great! Thank you!
Ross: Well, Im-Im just glad I could, yknow, help you out.
Phoebe: Wow! Im-Im so happy for you guys. (To Ross) This is so-so, not stupid.
Ross: Hero, I uh, I dont knowwell, all right.
Ross: Oh please! (He sits down.) (To Phoebe) Youre gonna say things now, arent ya?
Phoebe: No. No, I wont. But I should tell you this, this exact same thing happened to my roommate Denise. She moved in with a guy who was secretly married to her and he said he didnt love her, but he really did, and it just blew up! And thats how she ended up living with me! (Ross looks at her.) (Pause) Okay, thats a lie.
[Scene: Rosss Apartment, Rachel is entering and Ross is making some room on the shelves for his stuff.]
Ross: Hey! Oh listen, I was just clearing some space for your stuff.
Ross: What do you mean, theyre not moving in? They-theyre still moving in right?
Ross: What?! Over a stupid room!
Ross: Oh no, yeah no, that parts great!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering, dragging Chandler, to mediate the argument between Chandler and Monica.]
Ross: Whats all this about you guys fighting?! Is this really over a room?! I mean, that is so silly!
Monica: Ross, we can handle this.
Ross: Well, apparently not, and I cant just stand by and watch two people I care about very much be hurt over something that is so silly. I mean, enough of the silliness!
Ross: (stopping them) Okay-okay! Two very good points, look Ive known you both a long time, and Ive never seen either of you one/millionth as happy as youve been since youve got together. Do you really want to throw that all away over a room? That is so silly. Now wh-what is more important, love or silliness?
Ross: Okay! All right! Now, Chandler you-you wanna live with Monica, right?
Ross: And Mon, you wanna live with Chandler, dont ya?
Ross: (jumping up) Good! A verbal contract is binding in the state of New York! (Storms out.)
Ross: (entering) Hey Rach!
Ross: Youre never gonna believe it uh, Monica and Chandler are moving in again. Thats great news rightI mean for them. Right?
Ross: Yeah but, on the bright side, we get to be roommates again.
Rachel: Yeah. Yknow umm, uh, umm, about that, umm, Ross I really appreciate your offer to let me move in and everything, but dont you think its gonna be weird?
Ross: Wh-why?! Why-why-why would it, why would it be weird?
Ross: No!
Ross: No! No! It would be weird if we were still in that place, I mean are you still in that place?
Ross: Good! Me neither! So its not a problem. Were just two friends who happen to be roommates.
Rachel: Okay, but Ross, eventually you and I are gonna be dating.
Ross: Really?! We are?
Ross: Ohh! That would be great.
Ross: (laughs as well, but for a different reason) Yeah, I didnt think of that.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is once again being dragged in by Ross so he that he can try to manipulate the situation so that its best for Ross, not necessarily whats best for Monica and Chandler.]
Ross: So are you sure about this whole moving in thing?! I mean its a really big step! And-and whats the rush?!
Ross: No, I-I-Im serious, okay? I mean, think about it. You move in, you start fighting over stupid game rooms, next thing yknow you break up!
Monica: Ross, you were right before, it was just a stupid fight about a room.
Ross: Okay, there are no stupid fights!! This isnt about the room, this is about what the room represents! And unfortunately, this room (Points to Rachels room) could destroy you!!
Ross: Fine! Its your life! (Starts to storm out mad about his failed attempt at the manipulation of his best friend and sister, but stops and tries one last time.) I just dont want to see you guys break up! Which you will do if you move in together, (Monica and Chandler just stare at him.) but thats what you want, theres nothing I can do. (Opens the door and tries one more time.) DONT DO IT!!!!! (Finally leaves.)
Monica: Ross didnt scare you?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing a new song. Yep, the first new Phoebe song of season six, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are also there.]
Ross: (To Rachel) So umm, where are the other guys?
Ross: Fighting?!
Ross: Yeah. Theres no breaking them up, is there?
Ross: Sure! Here. (Hands her his keys.)
Ross: Yeah, Im-Im sure. (Deadpan) Yeah, get out of here before I change my mind. (She exits)
Joey: Umm, listen, Ross do you really think this moving in with Rachel is a good idea?
Ross: Ive been back and forth.
Ross: Ehh, I dont, I dont think so. Shes already talked about yknow, dating other guys.
Ross: Yeah, well, m-maybe youre right.
Joey: I am telling you Ross, she is definitely gonna fall in love with you again! Now, is that what you want?
Ross: Is that what I want?
Ross: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa, Joey!
Ross: One. (Rachel gives him the card.)
Ross: (pauses) I'm pretty sure that it is...
Ross: I'm having... I'm having a baby. (jumps back onto the table again) I'm having a... Where's the phone? The phone?
Ross: That's, that's funny. Change!
PHOEBE: Yes, yes, and it's, and we always have to go to, you know, someplace nice, you know? God, and it's not like we can say anything about it, 'cause, like this birthday thing, it's for Ross.
Ross: (to Chandler) Wait-wait, so, you get to be my best man twice and I never get to be yours at all?
Ross: I dont know! I guess I just cant believe any of this is happening.
Ross: Ah, well, it means that I can sell cookies, but Im not invited to sleep-overs.
Rachel: But y'know, I never really had anything to worry about. Ross was never very good at the flirting thing.
Ross: Halftime.
Rachel: Lets do it! Ross?
Monica: Well, maybe you could give to somebody else. Ooh, like Ross Geller.
Ross: What?
Monica and Ross: Yeah.
Ross: (drags Chandler over to buffet table) Im telling you, this guy Rachel is with is crazy! Okay? He viscously screamed at total strangers! I think hes baaad news!
Joey: Oh come on! Just pick one! Between Monica, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross if you had to, if you had to, who would you punch?
Ross: What about the time I said we were on a break?
Ross: Yeah! Anyway, I-I still think we should try to patch things up, yknow? Like uh, maybe we could get him to get tickets to another Knicks game and invite him.
Ross: All right, were gonna play.
Ross: Oh, I've got to go pick up Ben, we've got a play date this afternoon.
Ross: Here you go. (throws her the ball)
Rachel: Ross!
Ross: Sweetie, now I pick you.
Ross: Okay, I know what I have to do. Ive got to go Red Ross. (Joey and Phoebe dont know what hes talking about.) Yknow, Red Ross!
(At this moment Rachel bursts through the door. Needless to say, shes not in the best of moods having just found out Rosss dirty little secret.)
Ross (he buzzes for the nurse) Let's see if we can get that Rachel back here.
Ross: (He opens the door while faking a laugh.) Hey! Oh, we-we can't keep eating like this. (Monica turns her head in shame.)
Ross: Oww!! Son of a...!! Ow! Come on!
Rachel: (coming over to Ross, who is just getting up) Are you okay?
Ross: Come on, lets go!
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: You, you go long.
Ross: Until we start to look very small.
Ross: Break!!
Ross: Looks like a fun gang. (They all look at each other and smile)
Ross: Wow!
[cut to Ross and Monica.]
Ross: Uh, hello, its third down.
(Ross and Chandler move closer to her and she starts laughing again.)
Ross: So, guys, am I crazy, or does Phoebes mom remind anyone of a cat?
Ross: No, no, it was just our parents and 1 or 2 friends. It was a small wedding.
Ross: Yeah.
ROSS: The point is I... I don't need this right now, OK. It, it's too late, I'm with somebody else, I'm happy. This ship has sailed.
Ross: (browsing the brochure) I guess...It still seems a little...(enthusiastically) moonlight boat ride!!
Elizabeth: Ross, umm, you've been in there for a long time. I'm starting to get kinda freaked out.
Ross: Well ah, you wanna just stay out there?
ROSS: What, what oh....[Ross and Rachel go into her room]
Chandler: Maybe its the sound of Ross climbing into my brain and stealing my thoughts.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Ross is on the phone.]
Ross: Nah, I don't know if I should. I don't wanna be drunk when I go home alone.
Ross: Im not proving anything. Okay, Im done listening to you. If I hadnt let you talk me into going to the airport in the first place, I never wouldve put my fist through the wall!
Ross: Okay, where in the hell did you get that?!
(Ross gets down like all the other mothers, cradled in Susans lap like all the other fathers.)
Ross: Oh-ho, okay.
Ross: The Geller Cup.
Ross: Chandler! Chandler!
(Ross looks in his wallet, pulls out two dollars.)
Ross: Alright. (to Rachel): Your money's mine, Green.
(Ross makes a Yeah. Right. sound.)
Ross: Yknow what? He didnt want to talk to us about being angry, well maybe we dont talk to him at all!
Ross: Hey! Its 42-21!
(Ross flounders.)
Monica: Hey, hey, look. Look Ross, Ben drew a picture of you! (Shows him Ben's picture.) Huh? You're-you're a cowboy!
Ross: Yeah, most of it it's a place packed with confused angry baseball fans!
Ross: (entering) Uh fellas, (Does the maneuver and gives them a double thumbs up, which Chandler returns as he closes the door.)
Ross: And what did he ask you not to call him?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Sandy is knitting baby clothes. Ross and Rachel walk into the living room.]
Ross: Let go! Let go!
Ross: Yeah, losers talk!
Joey: (He turns around to Chandler looking for approval to go with Rachel, Chandler mouths Come on!) (turning back to Rachel) Ross, did ask us first, and we set that night aside.
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
Ross: No! You let go!
Ross: Gimme the this!
Rachel: (entering) Hey Ross? Umm, I just ran into Caitlin in the hallway and-and uh, you must be getting better at this flirting stuff than I thought.
Ross: I know. I feel horrible. Okay.
Ross: Okay, y'know what, lets just cut to the chase here. Okay? Heidi, which of my boys do you like?
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Yeah, Sarah, anything.
ROSS: As in, "I now pronounce you wife and wife" married?
Ross: We make a great foursome. We should do more stuff together. Ooh! Let's take a trip. Okay, where do you think we - we can go?
Ross: (puts away his wallet) And what is second prize?
ROSS: Oh, man. Oh, remember when I stuck that broom in your bike spokes, and you flipped over and hit your head on the curb?
Ross: Hi, Im selling Brown Bird cookies.
(She takes her hand off Erica. Ross enters the room)
Ross: All right!!
Ross: Well, that makes sense.
Ross: Mon?
Ross: Ill tell you what Mon, Ill give you the first box for free.
ROSS: Cannot feel my tounge.
Ross and Rachel: Oh!
Ross: ....and 12, 22, 18, four... (Chandler starts laughing) What?
Chandler: Yes, yes, its just that we ah, we kinda all ready, made plans with Ross.
Ross: It makes him miss the bowl, but whatever.
Ross: Okay, remember, we were young. Hey, Spring break, sophomore year, I got high in my bedroom and my parents walked in and smelled it and so I told them that you had gotten stoned and jumped out the window.
Ross: Well hey, who did these resumes for ya?
Ross: Its not a library...
Ross: What, that wasnt the great news?
Ross: (stopping quickly) Oh umm, theres also a book here by a woman named Wendy Bagina. (They both laugh, but stop when the hear moaning coming from the next aisle.) What is that?
Ross: I dont have too. I can just look at you.
ROSS: You, you know I, I don't, have a- have a problem with that.