words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is reading a magazine, eating a cookie, and drinking some coffee as Phoebe enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Oh, that. Umm, she took it really well.
Ross: No.
Ross: I am not in love with her. She was very upset about having to move out so I eh, didnt tell her we were still married because she would only get more upset. I-I just comforted her, as a friend.
Ross: Its nothing, I just gave her a hug.
Ross: Its also a sign of friendship.
Phoebe: Yeah, not in your case Lovey Loverson. (Tries to take a bite out of Rosss cookie.)
Ross: (grabs back his cookie) It was a hug!
Ross: S-s-smell her hair? What if I did?
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
Ross: I was hugging her as a friend. Its not my fault her-her hair got in my face, shes got a lot of it and it smells all-all uh coconutty. (Phoebe raises her eyebrows.) What?! Oh, that doesnt mean I have feelings for Rachel! Maybe it means I have feelings for coconuts!
Ross: (grabbing back his coffee) If the place you are referring too is being in love, then she is in the same place as me because I am not in that place!
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Rach, uh, you still looking for a place?
Ross: Okay, theres this guy, Warren, from the museum and hes going on a dig for like two years and hes got this great place he needs to sublet. So uh, you interested?
Ross: Dont thank me! If you wanna thank something, thank the volcano that erupted thousands of years ago, killing but perfectly preserving an entire civilization. (Rachel just looks at him.) Heres Warrens number.
Ross: Okay, you go grab it!
Ross: I dont know what youre talking about.
Ross: Look, I do not re-love her.
Ross: Look, were just friends now! Okay? Why would I do anything stupid?
Ross: You can live with me.
Ross: What?
Ross: Uh-huh. (Phoebe grunts.)
Rachel: I would love to live with you Ross; thats-thats great! Thank you!
Ross: Well, Im-Im just glad I could, yknow, help you out.
Phoebe: Wow! Im-Im so happy for you guys. (To Ross) This is so-so, not stupid.
Ross: Hero, I uh, I dont knowwell, all right.
Ross: Oh please! (He sits down.) (To Phoebe) Youre gonna say things now, arent ya?
Phoebe: No. No, I wont. But I should tell you this, this exact same thing happened to my roommate Denise. She moved in with a guy who was secretly married to her and he said he didnt love her, but he really did, and it just blew up! And thats how she ended up living with me! (Ross looks at her.) (Pause) Okay, thats a lie.
[Scene: Rosss Apartment, Rachel is entering and Ross is making some room on the shelves for his stuff.]
Ross: Hey! Oh listen, I was just clearing some space for your stuff.
Ross: What do you mean, theyre not moving in? They-theyre still moving in right?
Ross: What?! Over a stupid room!
Ross: Oh no, yeah no, that parts great!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering, dragging Chandler, to mediate the argument between Chandler and Monica.]
Ross: Whats all this about you guys fighting?! Is this really over a room?! I mean, that is so silly!
Monica: Ross, we can handle this.
Ross: Well, apparently not, and I cant just stand by and watch two people I care about very much be hurt over something that is so silly. I mean, enough of the silliness!
Ross: (stopping them) Okay-okay! Two very good points, look Ive known you both a long time, and Ive never seen either of you one/millionth as happy as youve been since youve got together. Do you really want to throw that all away over a room? That is so silly. Now wh-what is more important, love or silliness?
Ross: Okay! All right! Now, Chandler you-you wanna live with Monica, right?
Ross: And Mon, you wanna live with Chandler, dont ya?
Ross: (jumping up) Good! A verbal contract is binding in the state of New York! (Storms out.)
Ross: (entering) Hey Rach!
Ross: Youre never gonna believe it uh, Monica and Chandler are moving in again. Thats great news rightI mean for them. Right?
Ross: Yeah but, on the bright side, we get to be roommates again.
Rachel: Yeah. Yknow umm, uh, umm, about that, umm, Ross I really appreciate your offer to let me move in and everything, but dont you think its gonna be weird?
Ross: Wh-why?! Why-why-why would it, why would it be weird?
Ross: No!
Ross: No! No! It would be weird if we were still in that place, I mean are you still in that place?
Ross: Good! Me neither! So its not a problem. Were just two friends who happen to be roommates.
Rachel: Okay, but Ross, eventually you and I are gonna be dating.
Ross: Really?! We are?
Ross: Ohh! That would be great.
Ross: (laughs as well, but for a different reason) Yeah, I didnt think of that.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is once again being dragged in by Ross so he that he can try to manipulate the situation so that its best for Ross, not necessarily whats best for Monica and Chandler.]
Ross: So are you sure about this whole moving in thing?! I mean its a really big step! And-and whats the rush?!
Ross: No, I-I-Im serious, okay? I mean, think about it. You move in, you start fighting over stupid game rooms, next thing yknow you break up!
Monica: Ross, you were right before, it was just a stupid fight about a room.
Ross: Okay, there are no stupid fights!! This isnt about the room, this is about what the room represents! And unfortunately, this room (Points to Rachels room) could destroy you!!
Ross: Fine! Its your life! (Starts to storm out mad about his failed attempt at the manipulation of his best friend and sister, but stops and tries one last time.) I just dont want to see you guys break up! Which you will do if you move in together, (Monica and Chandler just stare at him.) but thats what you want, theres nothing I can do. (Opens the door and tries one more time.) DONT DO IT!!!!! (Finally leaves.)
Monica: Ross didnt scare you?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing a new song. Yep, the first new Phoebe song of season six, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are also there.]
Ross: (To Rachel) So umm, where are the other guys?
Ross: Fighting?!
Ross: Yeah. Theres no breaking them up, is there?
Ross: Sure! Here. (Hands her his keys.)
Ross: Yeah, Im-Im sure. (Deadpan) Yeah, get out of here before I change my mind. (She exits)
Joey: Umm, listen, Ross do you really think this moving in with Rachel is a good idea?
Ross: Ive been back and forth.
Ross: Ehh, I dont, I dont think so. Shes already talked about yknow, dating other guys.
Ross: Yeah, well, m-maybe youre right.
Joey: I am telling you Ross, she is definitely gonna fall in love with you again! Now, is that what you want?
Ross: Is that what I want?
Ross: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa, Joey!
Ross: What, I mean, a little, but no, what, go on.
Ross: Great!
Ross: So, Saturday night!
Ross: Oh, well, uh, this is gonna sound kinda silly, but, do you remember my roommate Chandler Bing?
Ross: Hey, there's Missy Goldberg. You gotta remember her.
Ross: Yeah, why?
Ross: You did?
Ross: C'mon you guys, this is really important to us.
Ross: (shows Tag his sweater tag) Umm, I dont some Italian guy. Come on, read your own label. See you later.
Ross: Too little, too late, Benji!
RACHEL: Well, we're not here to meet guys.� You have a boyfriend, I have a b. . . baby and a Ross.
Rachel: I am so sick of guys. I don't want to look at another guy, I don't want to think about another guy, I don't even want to be near another guy. (Ross crosses arms)
Ross: I guess if everybody else is...
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!)
Chandler: Ross, that was 16 years ago!
Ross: No.
Ross: NO!
Ross: You broke the pact!
Ross: I didn't.
Ross: I don't know what... you're talking about.
Ross: I-I know. Well if something comes up... (walks away)
Ross: Cool! (They start kissing again and Chandler looks shocked)
Ross: (looks disappointed in himself) Man... I... I'm sorry.
Ross: I didn't know you knew about that.
[Scene: We cut back to the present. The reunion where Chandler and Ross are talking.]
Ross: We are even, right?
[Cut to the Jetway, the flight attendant enters, walks past Ross, and approaches an older man with his wife who is also wearing a blue jacket.]
Ross: (entering) Okay, okay, okay, I've got two cabs and no people. Go! Go! Go!
Adrienne: Oh believe me, Ross, I won't be telling anybody about this.
Joey: No. It just seems like Ross is the kind of a guy that would marry a woman on the verge of being a lesbian and then push her over the edge.
Ross: (annoyed) Oh, do you, do you really?
Ross: Hey, where's Rachel?
Ross: Because... the night you kissed Rachel was the night I kissed Rachel for the very first time.
Ross: Did you know Chandler kissed Rachel?
Ross: Well, it matters to me.
Ross: Well, then who was on my bed?
Ross: OH MY GOD!
Ross: Mine.
Ross: (realizing) NO! No, no!
Ross: You were my first kiss with Rachel?
Ross: Wait a minute, does-does everyone feel this way?
Ross: Seriously you guys, what's going on? What are these for?
Ross: That is why!
Ross: Youre gonna be a party person! Those guys rock the most!
Ross: Hi! (he kisses Phoebe)
(cut to Ross, Chandler and Rachel)
Ross: FOOTBALL!
Ross: Oh, man!
Ross: Who cares, AND?
(Ross spots Chandler and starts chasing him around the kitchen table. Chandler runs and hides behind Monica.)
Ross: And it's a wedding! It'd be weird if I'm not in it...
Ross: I'll do it!
Ross: (very excited) Yeah-uh!
Ross: Please, you're going down!
(Cut to Chandler and Ross. Phoebe comes out of the ladies room and they run toward her.)
Ross: So, what did you decide?
Ross: Rach, she’s got like three hairs!
Ross: I'll do it! (Monica approaches)
Ross: Well, I was thinking of taking Emma to the playground!
Emily: But Ross, Im such having a great time! Your sister has just been telling me that you used to dress up like little, old ladies and hold make-believe tea parties.
Ross: Yeah, it kinda grows on you. (They both laugh.) Actually, I wanted to finish talking to you about uh, spring vacation.
Ross: Yeah, yeah. Y'know, now that you kicked the sign, hey! I don't miss Marcel any more!
Ross: I like your bow.
Joey: (interrupting him) Uh Ross! Are there uh, are there naked chicks on that piece of paper?
(Ross enters the room)
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Where's Rach?
Ross: Hey, hey, hey... If you two are happy, then I'm happy for you. (Squeaky.) I'm fine!
Ross: I know what you mean, Ive always wondered how different my life would be if-if Id never gotten divorced.
Ross: I never did anything with Adrienne Turner.
Ross: I'm not! I'm making it easier! Pick me!
Ross: (waving his fist in the air in triumph) YES, YES!
Ross: Hey, yknow whats weird? After you guys get married, when you introduce me to people youre gonna have to say, "This is my brother-in-law Ross." Not, "My friend Ross," "brother-in-law Ross." Thats weird isnt it?
[Scene: The corridor. Ross and Joey have just arrived.]
Ross: She's putting words in your mouth!
Ross: Oh, I will.
[Scene: Rachels Room, she is taking the ring out of Rosss jacket, looks at it, and puts it on her finger as Joey enters.]
Ross: I'm not supposed to tell you!
Ross: Oh no. Dad! Dad! What (He goes to open one of her boxes and it rips apart.) Oh God everythings ruined! Dad, shes gonna be crushed!
Rachel: Ross, I have been walking around like this since the plane! I canyou have so crossed a line. (Heads for the bathroom)
(Ross and Chandler look shocked)
Ross: (skeptical) That doesn't sound like you... That's Monica talking!
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's room, Ross is drinking a beer while Rachel is examining herself in the mirror.]
[Scene: N.Y.U. Paleontology department, Ross is putting up the grades on the message board.]
ROSS: I'm getting ready for the water skiing. [Mr. Greene opens the door which pulls Ross in] How are you doing?
Ross: Yeah, and to save you from any embarrassment umm, I think maybe I should talk first.
Chandler and Ross: I'll do it!
Ross: I'll...
Ross: Oh my God! What if, what if they get married? Then hed be the stepfather of my child.
Ross: Poor baby, youre so tired. Rach, I didnt propose to you, Joey didnt propose to you, and Chandler didnt propose to you.
Ross: (pointing at Amy, shouting) No more falafel for you!
Joey: Oh uh, hey. Not as good as this guy! (Grabs Ross around the shoulders.) He brought Twizlers!
Ross: It's the dog.
Ross: Hes right, even if its to say something complementary. (He stops and thinks about what he just said.)
Chandler: Oh come on Ross, I think were all losers here.
Rachel: Oh! Molly! You're not Ross.
Ross: Freaked out? Hey no, Im not freaked out! Im indignant! As a consumer!
Ross: Uh Joey...
Ross: Okay. (They split it.) You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school, I had a, um, major crush on you.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is hurrying Chloe out the door.]