words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is reading a magazine, eating a cookie, and drinking some coffee as Phoebe enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Oh, that. Umm, she took it really well.
Ross: No.
Ross: I am not in love with her. She was very upset about having to move out so I eh, didnt tell her we were still married because she would only get more upset. I-I just comforted her, as a friend.
Ross: Its nothing, I just gave her a hug.
Ross: Its also a sign of friendship.
Phoebe: Yeah, not in your case Lovey Loverson. (Tries to take a bite out of Rosss cookie.)
Ross: (grabs back his cookie) It was a hug!
Ross: S-s-smell her hair? What if I did?
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
Ross: I was hugging her as a friend. Its not my fault her-her hair got in my face, shes got a lot of it and it smells all-all uh coconutty. (Phoebe raises her eyebrows.) What?! Oh, that doesnt mean I have feelings for Rachel! Maybe it means I have feelings for coconuts!
Ross: (grabbing back his coffee) If the place you are referring too is being in love, then she is in the same place as me because I am not in that place!
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Rach, uh, you still looking for a place?
Ross: Okay, theres this guy, Warren, from the museum and hes going on a dig for like two years and hes got this great place he needs to sublet. So uh, you interested?
Ross: Dont thank me! If you wanna thank something, thank the volcano that erupted thousands of years ago, killing but perfectly preserving an entire civilization. (Rachel just looks at him.) Heres Warrens number.
Ross: Okay, you go grab it!
Ross: I dont know what youre talking about.
Ross: Look, I do not re-love her.
Ross: Look, were just friends now! Okay? Why would I do anything stupid?
Ross: You can live with me.
Ross: What?
Ross: Uh-huh. (Phoebe grunts.)
Rachel: I would love to live with you Ross; thats-thats great! Thank you!
Ross: Well, Im-Im just glad I could, yknow, help you out.
Phoebe: Wow! Im-Im so happy for you guys. (To Ross) This is so-so, not stupid.
Ross: Hero, I uh, I dont knowwell, all right.
Ross: Oh please! (He sits down.) (To Phoebe) Youre gonna say things now, arent ya?
Phoebe: No. No, I wont. But I should tell you this, this exact same thing happened to my roommate Denise. She moved in with a guy who was secretly married to her and he said he didnt love her, but he really did, and it just blew up! And thats how she ended up living with me! (Ross looks at her.) (Pause) Okay, thats a lie.
[Scene: Rosss Apartment, Rachel is entering and Ross is making some room on the shelves for his stuff.]
Ross: Hey! Oh listen, I was just clearing some space for your stuff.
Ross: What do you mean, theyre not moving in? They-theyre still moving in right?
Ross: What?! Over a stupid room!
Ross: Oh no, yeah no, that parts great!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering, dragging Chandler, to mediate the argument between Chandler and Monica.]
Ross: Whats all this about you guys fighting?! Is this really over a room?! I mean, that is so silly!
Monica: Ross, we can handle this.
Ross: Well, apparently not, and I cant just stand by and watch two people I care about very much be hurt over something that is so silly. I mean, enough of the silliness!
Ross: (stopping them) Okay-okay! Two very good points, look Ive known you both a long time, and Ive never seen either of you one/millionth as happy as youve been since youve got together. Do you really want to throw that all away over a room? That is so silly. Now wh-what is more important, love or silliness?
Ross: Okay! All right! Now, Chandler you-you wanna live with Monica, right?
Ross: And Mon, you wanna live with Chandler, dont ya?
Ross: (jumping up) Good! A verbal contract is binding in the state of New York! (Storms out.)
Ross: (entering) Hey Rach!
Ross: Youre never gonna believe it uh, Monica and Chandler are moving in again. Thats great news rightI mean for them. Right?
Ross: Yeah but, on the bright side, we get to be roommates again.
Rachel: Yeah. Yknow umm, uh, umm, about that, umm, Ross I really appreciate your offer to let me move in and everything, but dont you think its gonna be weird?
Ross: Wh-why?! Why-why-why would it, why would it be weird?
Ross: No!
Ross: No! No! It would be weird if we were still in that place, I mean are you still in that place?
Ross: Good! Me neither! So its not a problem. Were just two friends who happen to be roommates.
Rachel: Okay, but Ross, eventually you and I are gonna be dating.
Ross: Really?! We are?
Ross: Ohh! That would be great.
Ross: (laughs as well, but for a different reason) Yeah, I didnt think of that.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is once again being dragged in by Ross so he that he can try to manipulate the situation so that its best for Ross, not necessarily whats best for Monica and Chandler.]
Ross: So are you sure about this whole moving in thing?! I mean its a really big step! And-and whats the rush?!
Ross: No, I-I-Im serious, okay? I mean, think about it. You move in, you start fighting over stupid game rooms, next thing yknow you break up!
Monica: Ross, you were right before, it was just a stupid fight about a room.
Ross: Okay, there are no stupid fights!! This isnt about the room, this is about what the room represents! And unfortunately, this room (Points to Rachels room) could destroy you!!
Ross: Fine! Its your life! (Starts to storm out mad about his failed attempt at the manipulation of his best friend and sister, but stops and tries one last time.) I just dont want to see you guys break up! Which you will do if you move in together, (Monica and Chandler just stare at him.) but thats what you want, theres nothing I can do. (Opens the door and tries one more time.) DONT DO IT!!!!! (Finally leaves.)
Monica: Ross didnt scare you?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing a new song. Yep, the first new Phoebe song of season six, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are also there.]
Ross: (To Rachel) So umm, where are the other guys?
Ross: Fighting?!
Ross: Yeah. Theres no breaking them up, is there?
Ross: Sure! Here. (Hands her his keys.)
Ross: Yeah, Im-Im sure. (Deadpan) Yeah, get out of here before I change my mind. (She exits)
Joey: Umm, listen, Ross do you really think this moving in with Rachel is a good idea?
Ross: Ive been back and forth.
Ross: Ehh, I dont, I dont think so. Shes already talked about yknow, dating other guys.
Ross: Yeah, well, m-maybe youre right.
Joey: I am telling you Ross, she is definitely gonna fall in love with you again! Now, is that what you want?
Ross: Is that what I want?
Ross: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa, Joey!
Ross: Permission to veto.
Ross: (from outside the bathroom) Hello?
Ross: Well In-in case of emergency.
Monica: I dont know! Time to kiss a guy maybe?! (Ross laughs.) What are you laughing at Pampers? (He stops laughing and glares at her.)
Ross: The one that always stares at me when I come in?
[Scene: The Recovery Room, Ross is taking pictures of Rachel holding the baby as the rest of the gang enters.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Ross, Monica, and now Chandler are still playing catch. The guys are exhausted and sitting around the room. Monica is still standing all pumped up and being hyper-competitive yet again. {Okay! We get it! She's competitive!! Must we see all the time?!}]
Ross: (not paying attention) Yeah, they dont like you.
Ross: No, wait ! You guys, no, no, you can't leave! Rachel already feels bad that the cake's messed up. How do you think she's gonna feel when she comes back here and all you guys are gone?
Ross: A lot of people are thankful for those. < knock on door>
[Cut to Ross in one of those British phone booths.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Rachel are there as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Hello! I'm in the front seat, okay? I'm Gary's partner!
Joey: Hey Ross! The babys kicking!
ROSS: Well because I have to work on Monday, I have a big presentation.
Ross: I was talking to myself! Youre going down!
Ross and Rachel while looking at each other surprised and shocked: Jill?
Rachel: Ross, I'm telling you, she's giving up getting her eyebrows (points at her own to emphasize the word) shaped to do this alright? Do you understand how important that is in our world?
Ross: No! For all I know, shes trying to find me but couldnt because I kept moving around. No, from now on, Im staying in one place. (He sits down on the bed.) Right here.
[Scene: The museums worker cafeteria, Joey is eating lunch with the rest of the tour guides. Another tour guide tries to sit down in a seat Joey saved for Ross.]
Ross: What? Why? Whats wrong?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are talking to Frank.]
Ross: (rushes in) Is everything okay?
Ross: No IMona!
Joey: (seeing Ross) Oh hey-hey!
Ross: No really, you tell me whats up.
Ross: (To Joey) So, thanks so much for bringing her to the hospital.
Ross: Not for the next few minutes.
<Ross goes into Rachel's room>
Ross: Hey where-where are the pictures that creepy pretzel vendor took of us together?
Ross: Hi. I understand you had a little talk with Emily.
Ross: Well yeah!
Ross: What?! What?! Rach what?!
Ross: Hey uh, I brought you some lunch.
Rachel: Oh Ross!! (Runs to the bathroom and closes the door.)
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: My dad wanted to know if you wanted to play racquetball with us.
Ross: Baby got back (Then Ross turns around and sees their friends standing in the doorway)
Ross: Really?
Monica: Well actually, Ross doesn't.
Phoebe: Ross, please! My make-up! (He walks away angrily.)
Rachel: Ross, please, this is a hospital, ok? That actually means something here.
Ross: You know, Barracuda was the first song I learned to play on the keyboard.
Ross: Uh, Im going to take off.
Ross: What is it?
Ross: Hey, whats behind your back?
Ross: I think Chandlers gone. (He hands her the note.)
Ross: You dont want my opinion?
Ross: (quietly) The red one.
Ross: I whitened them.
Rachel: Look, I am so so happy for you guys, but you getting married just reminds me of the fact that Im not. Im not even close. And I dont know, maybe I just wanted to make myself feel better. And I know that thats dumb, but oh my God you were so depressed when Ross got married that you slept with Chandler!
Ross: Hey. We-we look we look pretty good.
Ross: Who needs a lease when it's family!
Ross: Veto. Helen?
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Well I dont know umm, (Pause) what if we were too tie each other up? (Carols shocked and obviously doesnt like that idea.) Umm, some people eat stuff off one another. (Carol doesnt like that idea either.) Nah! Umm, yknow we-we could try dirty talk? (Carol still says no.) Umm, we could, we could have a threesome.
Ross: (grabbing the car) Okay! Okay! Okay! (He gets in, but into the back seat.)
Ross: I do too! I missed you!
Ross: Hey! (they hug) So, how was Atlantic City?
Ross: That does make sense. Because I do wanna seize some opportunity, but I-I really don't wanna see or talk to her.
Ross: What?
Ross: (not amused) Huh uh-huh.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are there as Ross enters.]
Ross: Ever?!
Ross: Hey Amy.
Rachel: Oh Amy, you remember Ross.
Ross: (coming out of the bathroom) Won't you dance around with me.
Ross: Well, Im, uh, going to pick up Mona. What have you got going tonight?
Ross: That was me.
Ross: I think shes lonely.
Ross: I have no idea!
Ross: I know.
Ross: And you thought she was going to be in our way! So, why dont you, uh, open the champagne, and Ill be right back. Ive got a surprise for you.
Ross: So, um- so how's this, uh, how's this gonna work? Y'know, with us? Y'know, when, like, important decisions have to be made?
Ross: Why?! Why on the lips?! (He wipes his mouth on Monicas wrap and walks off, leaving Aunt Millie stunned.)
Chandler: Poor Ross.
Ross with a look of wondering how long this is going to go on on his face: Still me.
[Scene: a NYU lecture hall, Ross is trying to phase out his accent.]
Ross: (laughs) You were backpacking across Western Europe?
Ross: Hey, hey, man!
Ross: Really?!
Ross: Oh, sorry. Well, look, maybe I can help you with it.
Ross: Hey, hey, its me. Why cant you tell me?
Ross: Shes not a Tribbiani?
Ross: Anyway, so, uh, so what is it?
Ross: Why not?
Ross: Then talk to him! He might be fine with it.
Ross: Well, uh, does she like you?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
RACHEL: I'm sorry, what did you just say? Did you just say hi? Oh my God, Ross, Ross, Ben just said 'Hi'.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels. Rachel is standing in front of the TV holding a video.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is talking to Ross]
Ross: Rachel?!
Ross: Um, you you like Rachel?
Ross: (glaring at him) Yeah, thanks. (Joey nods no problem.)
Ross: Rachel whos carrying my baby? Rachel?
Ross: It's an empty apartment.
Ross: Hey.
Ross: Really?! (To Rachel) Hey, yknow what? Since you have such a great sense of what I need, uh ooh, heres-heres 60 bucks, why dont you take Phoebe down to that Colonial flea market of yours and get me some stuff.