words in movies
Joey: We know its Ross!
Rachel: Oh, I so wanted Ross to know first, but Im so relieved you guys know.
Rachel: Okay. Great! So now that you guys all know you can help me. Give me some advice on how Im gonna tell Ross!
Monica: Well I guess there is no harm in telling you now, Rachel and Ross are gonna have a baby.
Joey: Yknow, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby. Maybe you and I should do something.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: No why?
Ross: Oh well, I guess Ill catch up with her later.
Ross: Oh no.
Ross: I think I might know what this is about.
Ross: Yeah. Uh, uh we promised we werent gonna tell anybody this but uh, about a month ago Rachel and I slept together.
Ross: Wow! I thought you would be a little more shocked.
Ross: Well, we-we said wed just do it that one time but, but now I think she may wanna start things up again.
Ross: Why? What-what else could it be?
Ross: Im telling you. Im telling you. Thats what it is. No wonder she was looking at me all funny during the wedding. She didnt say anything to you?
Ross: Yeah, I guess I should. (Starts to leave.) Man, yknow what I have to realize? Maybe Im just not the type of guy women can have just one night with. Yknow, they-they always seem to want a little bit more. I should remember that. (He pauses and then exits.)
[Scene: The Hallway Outside Rosss Apartment, Ross is walking towards his apartment and sees Rachel sitting in front of the door.]
Ross: Hi.
Ross: (quietly confident) I think we do. Why dont we go inside? (They go inside.) Look uh, I know why youre here.
Ross: Yeah, and to save you from any embarrassment umm, I think maybe I should talk first.
Ross: Okay. (He sits her down in a chair.) Uh, Ross and Rachel. Rachel and Ross. Thats been one heck of a see-saw hasnt it?
Ross: I mean look, that-that one night we had was fun and and certainly passionate, but dont you think its better if we just stayed friends?
Ross: Okay. Okay. Yknow what? If you want to, we can do it one more time. I mean Id-Id be okay with that. In fact, I have some time right now.
Ross: Oh sure. (He sits on the apothecary table and touches her hand.)
Rachel: (touches his knee) Im pregnant. (Ross stops.) Ross? (Ross is staring off into space.) Ross? (Ross is still frozen) Okay, whenever youre ready. (Sits back and opens her magazine.) And youre the father by the waybut you got that
Ross: Im good. Im good.
Rachel: Ross, there is no pressure on you. Okay? I mean you can as involved as you want. (Ross nods.)
Ross: Yeah, I need uh Im justI dont knowI dont understand, umm, how this happened? We-we used a condom.
Ross: What? What? What?!! Well they should put that on the box!!!
Ross: No they dont!!! (He runs to the bedroom to check and returns with his box of condoms.) Well they should put it in huge black letters!!!!
Rachel: Okay Ross come on lets just forget about the condoms.
Ross: Oh well I may as well have!
Ross: Freaked out? Hey no, Im not freaked out! Im indignant! As a consumer!
Ross: No! No! I want to talk now! Okay? IIn fact, (picks up the phone) I am going to talk to the president of the condom company!
Ross: (grabs her) Shh! Shh! Shh!
Ross: (on phone) Yeah Ill press 1! (Presses one which allows Rachel to escape.)
Mr. Treeger: (measures the top of the doorframe) Whoa! This looks like an all day job, Ill have to cancel my yoga class. (Ross walks up.) Hey Ross!
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Sure.
Ross: Namaste. (Bows.)
(Treeger leaves and Ross notices the door.)
Ross: Oh my God! What happened to the door?!
Ross: Look, is Rachel here? I really need to talk to her.
Ross: Yeah but uh Okay, okay look you guys know that Rachel and I slept together, but theres something else. (Pause) Rachels pregnant.
Ross: With my child.
Ross: You already know dont you?
Ross: Okay. Okay. I mean Ill be okay. Its just I dont think I handled it very well.
Ross: Nothing. But the complaint department at the condom company got an earful. And then when I turned around she was gone.
Phoebe: Oh Ross.
Ross: But hey, in my defense I-I just found out condoms are like only 97% effective.
Ross: I gotta go find her.
Ross: Evidently they do.
(Theres a knock on the door and Ross enters.)
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Uh we-we need to talk.
Ross: Please, please I want to apologize for the way I acted earlier today.
Rachel: Okay Ross thats fine, but can you please stand near my head?
Ross: What? Oh yeah. (He moves next to her head.) Im sorry. I mean I-I think I went a little crazy. I mean I was thinking about myself when I (Wanders towards Rachels feet) reallyI should have been thinking about you Rach
Rachel: Okay. Head Ross! Head Ross! Head Ross!
Ross: Right! Right! I justI want you to know that Im going to be there through this whole thing, okay? Okay? The doctors appointments, the uh, the Lamaze classes, uh baby-proofing the apartmentAlthough we could probably worry about that til after we get married.
Ross: Well yeah, I think we should get married.
Ross: No, because thats the right thing to do.
Rachel: Yeah, maybe if youre in love. But Ross, we are not in love, are we?
Ross: No but but still you cant possibly do this alone.
Ross: Come on Rach, you cant even eat alone in a restaurant.
Ross: Im just saying if you cant eat by yourself, how do you expect to have a baby by yourself?
Ross: When have you ever?
Ross: Well certain other people take two hours to eat a bowl of soup!
Ross: I grew up with Monica! If you didnt eat fast you didnt eat!!
Rachel: Oh no Dr. Long, please come in. This is Ross, he is the father.
Ross: But not the husband, because evidently she can do this alone.
Ross: (To Rachel, standing by her feet) I dont know why you cant admit that you need me.
Dr. Long: Okay, everything looks good. Here it is on the screen. (We see Ross and Rachel looking at the screen.) Here is your uterus. And right here is your baby.
Ross: Oh my God.
Ross: Thank you.
Ross: Pretty amazing huh?
Ross: What? What?!
Ross: You-you just said that you did!
Ross: Oh sure, come here! (Sits her up) Sure you can! Uh, look come here look, (rolls the machine closer) its-its-its, its right there (Points).
Ross: Do you really?
Ross: Come on! Come on! Here, okay-okay, you see this? (Points) This tiny thing that looks like a peanut?
Ross: Sweetie thats it.
Ross: Youre welcome.
Ross: Yeah, thats our baby.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Phoebe are there as Rachel and Ross return from the doctors appointment.]
Ross: Oh hey, show them the picture of your uterus.
Rachel: Oh no, I know I couldnt see it either at first, but its right umm (Starts to cry) Ross, I lost it again.
Ross: Oh. (He takes the picture and hugs her.
Ross: What?! What? How do you, how do you even know its broken?!
Ross: They published my paper.
Ross: My apothecary table!!!
[Scene: Chandlers gym, He and Ross are there to cancel his membership.]
Ross: But if I hadn't walked in here, would you..?
Ross: Who?
(Ross and Joey urge Chandler to tell Rachel.)
Joey: Ross, you dont have to yell.
(They go inside and Ross closes the door. When he turns around Elizabeth walks up to him, pushes him back against the door, and starts kissing him.)
Ross: Hmm.
Ross: Hey, I know whatll get us up on a platform!
Joey: (to Ross) Just get in there and make a face to face apology, you know? Look them in the eye. I know I can get them to forgive us.
Ross: Yeah, I was but uh, she was a little busy with a water balloon fight.
ROSS: I just wanna thank you for being there for me today. And I'm sorry I,I almost broke your hand.
Ross: Oh, it's-it's Marcel. He keeps shutting me out, y'know? He's walking around all the time dragging his hands...
Ross: Well then a small one!! Listen, lets, we kinda have to get going!
Ross: Id bet Id still be doing my kara-tay. (Thats karate, hes just saying it that way.) Towards the end of our marriage I was doing a lot of kara-tay as a way of releasing the tension from yknow, not doing anything else physical.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are having dinner.]
Ross: and it was Ernst Muhlbrat who first hypothesized that the Velociraptor would expand its collar and emit a high pitched noise to frighten its predator. (A student raises his hand.) Yes Mr. Lewis?
Ross: What?!
Ross: Okay, go left. Left! Left! (The bottom of the couch is hitting the railing.)
Ross: Elizabeth, thank God! I was just thinking about
Elizabeth: (sticking her head out her window) Ross! Wait!
Ross: Look I've already looked at like a thousand apartments this month and none of them even compares to that one!
[Scene: Cental Perk, Joey and Ross are persecuting Chandler about his smoking.]
Ross: Did you see the look that girl just gave me? Huh? She mustve seen me cruising in the bad boy.
Ross: Of course, of course, Mr. Stevens.
Ross: Uh no-no, she-shes out for the night.
Rachel: Okay. (they both look into the camera, and Ross waves.) Hi Emma. Well, your first birthday is over, and it was really...
Ross: You- uh- y'know what, I'm gonna go. I don't- I don't think I can be involved in this particular thing right now.
Ross: (with his mouth full) Just a second! (he fake laughs, but turns his head and starts to break down)
Ross: Fighting?!
Ross: (realizes something) The photo album! There were millions of pictures of the apartment in the photo album. We just go through it and match everything to the pictures.
Ross: Hey, come on in.
Ross: Rach!
Ross: What happened you guys?
Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe: Hey, Mon.
[Scene: San Diego Zoo. Ross is at the Monkey cages.]
Ross: Phoebe.
Ross: I guess so.
Ross: Ohh, I dont think so.
Ross: Right. Ohh! You-you want me to be your backup.
Ross: Ohh, yeah I already have one.
Phoebe: Uh, only if you have the hiccups too. Yeah, the pictures are for you, the water and the chocolate is for me. I just didnt feel like getting up. Okay, Im gonna show you a picture of Ross. Okay? And youre going to remember all of the bad things about him. All right? Really focus on his flaws.
Ross: What, you didnt get it? The doctor is a monkey.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Phoebe, how could you do this to me?!
Ross: Oh come on, not again.
Ross: I was not!
Ross: Okay, 'you' can't, or (Points to Chandler) you can't? (Chandler grabs his finger) Okay, that's my finger. (Chandler twists it and Ross goes down on one knee) That's, that's my knee. (To Central Perk) Still doing the play. Aaah!
Monica: Right. Umm, listen since were-we-re on that subject, umm, I just wanted to tell you that uh, well, I-I was going through a really hard time in London, what with my brother getting married and that guy thinking I was Rosss mother
Ross: All right.
Ross: Hey, whatd you guys do to get up on there?
Phoebe: (reading) Ross!
Elizabeth: So uh, Monica is Rosss sister.
[Scene: The Hallway between the Apartments, Ross is hiding behind that bump out on Monicas side waiting for Phoebe and Rachel. As they come up the stairs, he jumps out and yells ]
Phoebe: Oh no wait no, this is wrong! Ross isnt here!
Ross: Hey, whats going on?
Ross: Whats up?
Ross: Oh when you beeped me I was on line at the concession stand at the movie theater.
Ross: Where is she?
Ross: Are you sure shes in the cat, or have you been taking your grandmas glycoma medicine again?
Ross: Oh, yeah, last week you had a wonderful, nutty, chocolatey kind of a cakey pie thing. (Rachel gives him a dirty look) Nothing, just, just, I'm fine.
Ross: Well, I was just playing with him, and y'know we were doing the alphabet song, which he used to be really good at, but suddenly hes leaving out e and f. Its like they just ah, I dont know, fell out of his head.
(Rachel just stands there staring at Joey and Charlie in silence. After a while, Ross turns around and sees them.)
Ross: What? What? Was that a joke? 'Cause it's mean.
(Ross exits, a phone rings, and Chandler dives for his phone.)
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Thanks.
Ross: Wow! Happy Monicas night!
Ross: You mean, weyou and me?
Ross: Honey, I love you too.
Paul: I dont like you going out with my daughter Ross.
[Scene: The hospital, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.]
Ross: You okay?
Rachel: Because, I cant! Ross, I told you, no. I cant.
Ross: What?
Joey: Oh, its Rosss bachelor party.
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Mr. Dickens gets to pick 'em.
Ross: A what?
Monica: (out loud, to her parents) Mom! Dad! Ross smoked pot in college!
Ross: My hands?
Ross: No.
Ross: (incredulous) In your mouth?!
Ross: Well, like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived! (Ross takes the loosely tied tie off and hands it to Joey who puts it on.) Here.
Ross: Yeah, no problem. (Tries to turn it off.)
Ross: (To the rest of Central Perk) We're rehearsing a Greek play.
Ross: It is! It is!
Monica: No its not! No! No! Now its about you and Ross getting back together!
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: (picks up a surgical instrament and mimes a duck with it) Quack, quack..
Ross: Oh no!
Ross: Like uh yknow like this! This! (He picks up one of those art projects that kids make in kindergarten and first grade.) She-she couldve made this!
[Cut to Phoebes room, Phoebe has put her helmet on one of her teddy bears and is playing around with it. Ross knocks and pokes his head in the door.]
Ross: All right, we have a tie. Luckily, I have prepared for such an event. (He opens up an envelope and holds up some note cards.) The Lightning Round!
Ross: (sitting up) No! (Exits.)
Ross: Okay, okay. If that is what it takes to show you how much you mean to me, and how much I want you there. Then that's what I'll do.
Ross: Still thinking about it huh?
Ross: Okay. Sure. (Sits down on her bed.)