words in movies
Joey: We know its Ross!
Rachel: Oh, I so wanted Ross to know first, but Im so relieved you guys know.
Rachel: Okay. Great! So now that you guys all know you can help me. Give me some advice on how Im gonna tell Ross!
Monica: Well I guess there is no harm in telling you now, Rachel and Ross are gonna have a baby.
Joey: Yknow, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby. Maybe you and I should do something.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: No why?
Ross: Oh well, I guess Ill catch up with her later.
Ross: Oh no.
Ross: I think I might know what this is about.
Ross: Yeah. Uh, uh we promised we werent gonna tell anybody this but uh, about a month ago Rachel and I slept together.
Ross: Wow! I thought you would be a little more shocked.
Ross: Well, we-we said wed just do it that one time but, but now I think she may wanna start things up again.
Ross: Why? What-what else could it be?
Ross: Im telling you. Im telling you. Thats what it is. No wonder she was looking at me all funny during the wedding. She didnt say anything to you?
Ross: Yeah, I guess I should. (Starts to leave.) Man, yknow what I have to realize? Maybe Im just not the type of guy women can have just one night with. Yknow, they-they always seem to want a little bit more. I should remember that. (He pauses and then exits.)
[Scene: The Hallway Outside Rosss Apartment, Ross is walking towards his apartment and sees Rachel sitting in front of the door.]
Ross: Hi.
Ross: (quietly confident) I think we do. Why dont we go inside? (They go inside.) Look uh, I know why youre here.
Ross: Yeah, and to save you from any embarrassment umm, I think maybe I should talk first.
Ross: Okay. (He sits her down in a chair.) Uh, Ross and Rachel. Rachel and Ross. Thats been one heck of a see-saw hasnt it?
Ross: I mean look, that-that one night we had was fun and and certainly passionate, but dont you think its better if we just stayed friends?
Ross: Okay. Okay. Yknow what? If you want to, we can do it one more time. I mean Id-Id be okay with that. In fact, I have some time right now.
Ross: Oh sure. (He sits on the apothecary table and touches her hand.)
Rachel: (touches his knee) Im pregnant. (Ross stops.) Ross? (Ross is staring off into space.) Ross? (Ross is still frozen) Okay, whenever youre ready. (Sits back and opens her magazine.) And youre the father by the waybut you got that
Ross: Im good. Im good.
Rachel: Ross, there is no pressure on you. Okay? I mean you can as involved as you want. (Ross nods.)
Ross: Yeah, I need uh Im justI dont knowI dont understand, umm, how this happened? We-we used a condom.
Ross: What? What? What?!! Well they should put that on the box!!!
Ross: No they dont!!! (He runs to the bedroom to check and returns with his box of condoms.) Well they should put it in huge black letters!!!!
Rachel: Okay Ross come on lets just forget about the condoms.
Ross: Oh well I may as well have!
Ross: Freaked out? Hey no, Im not freaked out! Im indignant! As a consumer!
Ross: No! No! I want to talk now! Okay? IIn fact, (picks up the phone) I am going to talk to the president of the condom company!
Ross: (grabs her) Shh! Shh! Shh!
Ross: (on phone) Yeah Ill press 1! (Presses one which allows Rachel to escape.)
Mr. Treeger: (measures the top of the doorframe) Whoa! This looks like an all day job, Ill have to cancel my yoga class. (Ross walks up.) Hey Ross!
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Sure.
Ross: Namaste. (Bows.)
(Treeger leaves and Ross notices the door.)
Ross: Oh my God! What happened to the door?!
Ross: Look, is Rachel here? I really need to talk to her.
Ross: Yeah but uh Okay, okay look you guys know that Rachel and I slept together, but theres something else. (Pause) Rachels pregnant.
Ross: With my child.
Ross: You already know dont you?
Ross: Okay. Okay. I mean Ill be okay. Its just I dont think I handled it very well.
Ross: Nothing. But the complaint department at the condom company got an earful. And then when I turned around she was gone.
Phoebe: Oh Ross.
Ross: But hey, in my defense I-I just found out condoms are like only 97% effective.
Ross: I gotta go find her.
Ross: Evidently they do.
(Theres a knock on the door and Ross enters.)
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Uh we-we need to talk.
Ross: Please, please I want to apologize for the way I acted earlier today.
Rachel: Okay Ross thats fine, but can you please stand near my head?
Ross: What? Oh yeah. (He moves next to her head.) Im sorry. I mean I-I think I went a little crazy. I mean I was thinking about myself when I (Wanders towards Rachels feet) reallyI should have been thinking about you Rach
Rachel: Okay. Head Ross! Head Ross! Head Ross!
Ross: Right! Right! I justI want you to know that Im going to be there through this whole thing, okay? Okay? The doctors appointments, the uh, the Lamaze classes, uh baby-proofing the apartmentAlthough we could probably worry about that til after we get married.
Ross: Well yeah, I think we should get married.
Ross: No, because thats the right thing to do.
Rachel: Yeah, maybe if youre in love. But Ross, we are not in love, are we?
Ross: No but but still you cant possibly do this alone.
Ross: Come on Rach, you cant even eat alone in a restaurant.
Ross: Im just saying if you cant eat by yourself, how do you expect to have a baby by yourself?
Ross: When have you ever?
Ross: Well certain other people take two hours to eat a bowl of soup!
Ross: I grew up with Monica! If you didnt eat fast you didnt eat!!
Rachel: Oh no Dr. Long, please come in. This is Ross, he is the father.
Ross: But not the husband, because evidently she can do this alone.
Ross: (To Rachel, standing by her feet) I dont know why you cant admit that you need me.
Dr. Long: Okay, everything looks good. Here it is on the screen. (We see Ross and Rachel looking at the screen.) Here is your uterus. And right here is your baby.
Ross: Oh my God.
Ross: Thank you.
Ross: Pretty amazing huh?
Ross: What? What?!
Ross: You-you just said that you did!
Ross: Oh sure, come here! (Sits her up) Sure you can! Uh, look come here look, (rolls the machine closer) its-its-its, its right there (Points).
Ross: Do you really?
Ross: Come on! Come on! Here, okay-okay, you see this? (Points) This tiny thing that looks like a peanut?
Ross: Sweetie thats it.
Ross: Youre welcome.
Ross: Yeah, thats our baby.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Phoebe are there as Rachel and Ross return from the doctors appointment.]
Ross: Oh hey, show them the picture of your uterus.
Rachel: Oh no, I know I couldnt see it either at first, but its right umm (Starts to cry) Ross, I lost it again.
Ross: Oh. (He takes the picture and hugs her.
Ross: Oh, I will.
[Scene: Rachels Room, she is taking the ring out of Rosss jacket, looks at it, and puts it on her finger as Joey enters.]
Ross: I'm not supposed to tell you!
Ross: Oh no. Dad! Dad! What (He goes to open one of her boxes and it rips apart.) Oh God everythings ruined! Dad, shes gonna be crushed!
Rachel: Ross, I have been walking around like this since the plane! I canyou have so crossed a line. (Heads for the bathroom)
(Ross and Chandler look shocked)
Ross: (skeptical) That doesn't sound like you... That's Monica talking!
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's room, Ross is drinking a beer while Rachel is examining herself in the mirror.]
[Scene: N.Y.U. Paleontology department, Ross is putting up the grades on the message board.]
ROSS: I'm getting ready for the water skiing. [Mr. Greene opens the door which pulls Ross in] How are you doing?
Chandler and Ross: I'll do it!
Ross: I'll...
Ross: Oh my God! What if, what if they get married? Then hed be the stepfather of my child.
Ross: Poor baby, youre so tired. Rach, I didnt propose to you, Joey didnt propose to you, and Chandler didnt propose to you.
Ross: (pointing at Amy, shouting) No more falafel for you!
Joey: Oh uh, hey. Not as good as this guy! (Grabs Ross around the shoulders.) He brought Twizlers!
Ross: It's the dog.
Ross: Hes right, even if its to say something complementary. (He stops and thinks about what he just said.)
Chandler: Oh come on Ross, I think were all losers here.
Rachel: Oh! Molly! You're not Ross.
Ross: Uh Joey...
Ross: Okay. (They split it.) You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school, I had a, um, major crush on you.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is hurrying Chloe out the door.]
Ross: (whispering) It was ok...
Ross: Joey, you shouldn't lie on your résumé.
Ross: (he enters) Hey.
Ross: You guys know where Rachel is?
Ross: Hey!
Rachel: Ross...
Ross: All right, you know that one was coming, but that doesnt mean you have unagi. (Does the finger thing.)
Ross: What? She's gonna eat all those cookies?
Ross: Oh my God.
Ross: Is-is he ok?
Rachel: What? Ross and Charlie? (Joey nods) Wow! She's really making her way through the group, huh? Ah, who am I to talk?
Ross: Oh!
Mona: No, its still wet. Yknow what? Let me get it out before it sets. Ooh, I have something you can wear. Here. (Hands him Rosss shirt.)
Ross: I'm feeling better.
Rachel: Oh, hey, I have an idea. Why don't we play rock-paper-scissors, and whoever loses goes in first. (they all agree) Ready? (they do the rock-paper-scissor thing with they hands and Rachel has paper, Phoebe and Ross both have rock, while Joey is doing a strange upward wiggling with his fingers. They all look a him confused).
Ross: Did the TV wake you?
Ross: I'm not scared of him, I'm really sick!
Rachel: Ross, please, don't be so scared of him!
Ross: Well, I came with Rachel, who should be back any second! (pause) So what's new?
Ross: Right, is it painful?
Ross: Nope, just the one. RACH!
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Wow.
Ross: Sorry. (Rachel sits on her bed). You ok?
Ross: Oh, yeah. Emma's doing great.
MONICA: Fortunately, it is me. And, they made me head of purchasing, thank you very much. Anyway, I just ran into Ross and Chandler downstairs, and they think we should go out and celebrate. You know, someplace nice.
Ross: What? No, no! Hey, hey, hey look...
Ross: Sure!
Ross: Oh, of course...
Ross: Me too. Come here. (They hug)
Ross: I I do, I do not love Rachel. Im gonna tell her right now about the whole thing so we can get this marriage annulled as fast as possible. Okay? Would I do that if I loved her?
Ross: No-no-no, no, umm, actually American surprise parties are-are-are very short. Its usually, "Surprise!" And then, "Oh my God, Im so surprisedgood-bye!"
Ross: I'll see you in the morning (he leaves).
Rachel: (singing) Love to love ya baby! Ow! Love to love ya baby! Ow! (There's a knock on the door, she turns off the music, puts on her robe, and goes to answer the door.) Love to love ya, baby! (There's another knock.) Darnit! (Looks through the peephole and turns on the lights.) Ugh. (She opens the door to Ross who's leaning against the door jam.)
(Ross stops the clock, signifying the end of the lightning round.)
Ross: You sure you're alright?
Monica: It's some of Richard's hair! (holds it close to Ross) What do I do with this?
Ross: You've been quiet all morning. Is everything okay?
Ross: (knew this was coming) There it is... (he comes back)
Ross: Hey, I was looking out for you.
ROSS: No, but, but I wanna be with you in spite of all those things.
Rachel: (To Ross) So you were in an I Hate Rachel club?
Phoebe: It's so weird seeing Ross and Rachel with a baby. It's just so grown up.
Ross: (waking up) What? (notices that there is now a beautiful woman sitting next to him)
Ross: High collar and baggy pants say Im a pro.
Ross: Yeah, anything goes, except ah, eye gouging and fish hooking.
RACH: Oh, look at me, look at me. Oh, I'm on a date with a really great guy, all I can think about is Ross and his cat and his... Julie. I just want to get over him. gosh, why can't I do that?
Ross: Thank you. I'm glad you agree.
Ross: So uh... I guess I wanna take off.
Ross: Emma's down for the night.
Ross: Oh, no problem.
Ross: Yeah... Yeah, that's true.
Ross: Even if we want it really bad.
Rachel: ...Ross?
Ross: Yes?
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: ...Valentine's day...
Ross: Uhm, right!
Ross: ...I hate waste.
Ross: (on the phone) No-no-no, it's just a bit sudden. (Listens) No, it's great. Okay? I'm totally on board. I love you too, all righty. Bye. (Hangs up.)
Ross: Oh, that'd be great! Okay, but if you do, make sure it seems like you're there to see him, okay, and you're not like doing it as a favour to me.
Ross: (entering) Hey, you guys... I have great news.
ROSS: Hey, here's a theme: Come on in, live like bacon.
Ross: No, no. I-I'm good.
Ross: I'm up for tenure.
Monica: And Dad, yknow that mailman that you got fired? He didnt steal your Playboys! Ross did!
Ross: You too! What are the odds?
KEVIN: All right. It's no big deal. BILL: So, she has a boyfriend. What is your situation? RACHEL: Oh, well, it's complicated. I don't actually have a boyfriend.� But um. . . BILL: Then, can I have your number? RACHEL: (pause) I'm sorry, no. BILL: Okay. (They start to walk away.) RACHEL: Oh sure.� (She pulls a business card from her purse and writes on it.) PHOEBE: (Reading the card.) Oh my God, you're giving your real number. BILL: Okay, thanks. I'll give you a call later tonight. RACHEL: Great. BILL: Bye PHOEBE: Bye. (The guys leave.) Wow. So, that's great. You, Bill, Ross, and Emma are going to be so happy together. What were you thinking?
Rachel: Oh, it was great! We got everything that we needed! Oh and Ross, almost got something that wasnt on the list. A whore.
Phoebe: Ross...
[Cut to London, we sit Ross sitting outside Emilys apartment. We hear Emilys phone ring with amazing clarity. Apparently, sound travels quite easily through the walls of British buildings. Anyhoo, Ross looks around for the ringing phone and in the meantime Emilys answering machine picks up and once again with amazing clarity we hear Emily say ]
Ross: This is the single greatest day of my professional career. Gunther, six glasses!
Ross: He-he was with me umm, were playing a little game, yknow? Hide and seek.
Ross: I made a man twice my size cry. I mean, I havent done that since I was four and I washed my dads Porsche with rocks.
[Ross and Chandler get up and go into Rachels old room.]
Chandler: To Ross!
Ross: Rach, I'm so sorry.