words in movies
Ross: (entering) Hey.
Ross: Is Rachel here? I gotta talk to her.
Ross: Damn!
Ross: I told Emily to come. And I just need to y'know, talk to Rachel about it.
Ross: Well look, I'm just trying to focus on the "I get to see my wife," part, all right? And not the part that makes me do this. (He takes a big swig of Pepto Bismol.)
Ross: I have no idea. I mean But-but I assure you I will figure it out.
Ross: So, Rach, y'know-y'know how Emily's coming right?
Joey: (holding a box) Well, remember when they got in that big fight and broke up and we were all stuck in her with no food or anything? Well, when Ross said Rachel at the wedding, I figured it was gonna happen again, so I hid this in here.
Ross: Anyway it-it kinda-it all boils down to this, the last time I talked to Emily
Ross: What?!
Ross: Le Poo's still alive?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is trying to tell Rachel about Emily's ultimatum again.]
Ross: Hey, so uh, y'know how there's something I wanted to talk to you about?
Ross: Well, y'know how I'm trying to work things out with Emily. Well, there's this one thing Okay, (Rachel has her back turned to the camera, and Ross isn't looking at her.) here goes. I made a promise that-(they cut to the other camera and Ross notices something coming out of Rachel's nose)-Oh hey!
Ross: You're nose is bleeding!
Ross: Umm (Rachel blows her nose.)
Ross: Okay, I uh, I can't see you anymore.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is reading a magazine and has two tissues stuck up her nose in an attempt to stop the bleeding and as she hears Ross enter, she quickly hides her face behind the magazine and removes the tissues.]
Ross: Hey. Rachel, I-I-I've been wanting to tell you something for a while now and I really, I just have to get it out.
Ross: Okay, y'know how you told me I should do whatever it takes to fix my marriage?
Ross: And while that was good advice, you should know that what-what she wants
Ross: is for me not to see you anymore.
Ross: It's awful I know, I mean, I feel terrible but I have to do this if I want my marriage to work. And I do, I have to make this marriage work. I have too. But the good thing is we can still see each other until she gets here.
Rachel: Ohh! Lucky me! Oh my God! That is good news, Ross! I think that's the best news I've heard since Le Poo died!
Ross: You have no idea what a nightmare this has been. This is so hard.
Rachel: Oh yeah, really? Is it Ross? Yeah? Okay, well let me make this a just a little bit easier for you.
Ross: What are you doing?
Ross: Rachel, this is your apartment.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is drinking some Alka-Seltzer. The rest of the gang, minus Rachel is there as well.]
Ross: You should've seen the look on her face. I don't want Rachel to hate me! I don't know what to do.
Ross: Yes! Please!
Ross: That's okay.
Ross: That's not advice!
Ross: I'm going to the bathroom. (Gets up and exits.)
Rachel: Look, I know you guys heard about the whole thing with me and Ross but y'know, I've been obsessing about it all day and I'd just love not to talk about it. All right?
Joey: I-I-I don't know if this falls under this category, but uh, Ross is right back there. (Points over his shoulder.)
Rachel: That's not Ross!
Chandler: Okay, Ross is in the bathroom.
Rachel: Well, of course I am! It's not gonna happen to Ross! He's your brother. (To Chandler) He's your old college roommate. Ugh, it was just a matter of time before someone had to leave the group. I just always assumed Phoebe would be the one to go.
Ross: (entering) Pheebs, you mind if I speak to Rachel alone for a sec?
Phoebe: Oh, sure! (She gets up to leave.) Bye Ross! (Whispering behind his back.) Forever.
Ross: Hi.
Ross: I talked to Monica, look, I'm the one who made the choice. I'm the one who's making things change, so I should be the one to y'know, step back.
Rachel: Oh, Ross
Ross: No, no, it's okay. Really. They're plenty of people who just see their sisters at Thanksgiving and just see their college roommates at reunions and just see Joey at Burger King. So is, is that better?
Ross: Well, what-what would you do? Rach, if you were me, what-what would you do?
Ross: I can't believe this is happening.
Ross: I am so sorry.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang, minus Ross are playing Madlibs. Phoebe is reading hers.]
Ross: (in his head) Shes your cousin. Shes your cousin! If she knew what was going on in your head shed think you were sick! (She grabs some popcorn.) Or would she? Lets back up a second. She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine. She was the one who turned down the lights. She was the one that wanted to rent Logans Run, the sexiest movie ever. (She grabs the blanket from behind him and looks at him.) Oh, I know that look. Forget it. I want it. She wants it. Im going in.
Ross: That's not a thing!
Ross: Listen, you are hearing one side of the story, okayand F.Y.I she mustve shown Kyle over 30 paint samples before she painted that room! And his response to each one was, "I dont give a tiny rats ass."
Ross: Hey Mon, that was really nice of you to loan Rachel your car so she could go and get the cake.
(Amy looks at Ross, angrily. Rachel clearly doesn't understand what he meant and looks at Ross who gestures "later".)
Ross: I can't believe you'd rather go out with him than me.
Ross: Pheebs, what's wrong?
Ross: Hey! (she turns to him) Well...? (in expectation)
Ross: Of course you would, your brains are smaller than mine!! (Rachel nods) Man, I can't compete with the guys she goes out with, they are so out of my league! oh my God!
Ross: I have to talk to her about this groomsman situation, ok? I'm not gonna watch Chandler up there while I'm sitting in the seats like some chump! (he goes to Rachel's room, knocks the door and enters the room). (very fake gasp) Oh! My God! You're breathtaking!
Ross: (to Charlie) Hey!
Ross: Yeah. Why?
Ross: Your ex-boyfriend?
Ross: Well, if you think it would help.
Ross: Ok, now, is there anything I can do to... you know, butter him up? Anything he really likes?
Ross: We'll see how dinner goes.
Ross: (taping Joey with the cam) Hey, there is uncle Joey!
Ross: How come its always us left in the field holding the ball?
[Sequence 4: Ross hikes the ball to Chandler, and the camera pans down to show Rachel standing deep in the end zone, playing with her gum. Something hits her on the head and she looks up to see where it came from.]
RACH: Oh my God. Oh my God Ross, no, hang up the phone, give me the phone Ross, give me the phone, give me the phone, give me the. . . [jumps the couch and lands on Ross's back, finally getting the phone from him. Ross has a confused expression on his face.]
(They disappear into the bedroom leaving Ross standing in the living room holding Susans coat.)
Ross: I'm ok.
Ross: Perhaps I can persuade you. What if you can give your son this (Takes a huge egg out of his back) genuine pterodactyl egg (whispers) replica.
Benjamin (to Ross): You weren't there!
Ross: What?
Ross: Did you just say "break up with Charlie"?
Ross: No!
Ross: Are you serious?
Ross: (Rolls his eyes) I guess!
Ross: See? I told you something good would come along. And he seemed really nice. I've met him before?
Ross: Oh come on!!
Ross: No, but I want...I want the pinecones!
Ross: (Sarcastic) No! Stop!
Ross: (Skeptical) Really?
Ross: Crazy!
(Ross shakes his head)
Ross: (Yelling) Get out! (Benjamin leaves)
Ross: I have to break up with Charlie?
Chandler: Ross, what're you... what're you... what are you doing? (looks at laptop screen)You're having a memorial service for yourself!?
Mark: Sure, sure. (To Ross) What's with the chair. (Rachel signals him not to mention she's been fired)
Ross: Monica told me you had a blind date.
Ross: Damnit!
Joey: Come on, Chandler, Ross is our friend. He needs us right now, so why don't you be a grown up and come and watch some TV in the fort!
Ross: (annoyed) May 12th?
Charlie: I'm sure he was just joking, Ross.
Ross: What?
Ross: or...
Ross: (indignant) No!
Ross: Well, Kathy gets half-naked and simulates sex with a real good lookin guy.
Ross: Okay, that's it. WE ARE SEEING OTHER PEOPLE!
Ross: Hey you guys!
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: (skating over, embarrassed) Ok!... Uh... excuse me? Yeah?
Ross: Hey, what are you doing?
[Scene: The hallway, Ross is coming up the stairs as Phoebe leaves Joey and Chandlers.]
Sandy: Like in my last job, I met Daniel when he was three weeks old. And I got to watch him grow into this awesome person... When I left, I said: I'll see you soon... And he said to me: Skdandy... (Ross and Rachel look puzzled) That was his name for me... I'll see you every day... right in... (points at his heart, but starts to cry before he can finish his sentence. Rachel tries to comfort him, but Ross has this "you've got to be kidding me" look all over him)
Ross: Wow! This picture of you sure is steamy.
Ross: Oh, good!
Ross: (he enters) Hi!
Ross: Seriously?
Ross: Be-caaauuuse...
Phoebe: No-no, thats not, thats not me Phoebe, thats her pal Phoebe. According to her high school yearbook, they were like B.F.F. (Ross and Bonnie look at her quizzically) Best Friends Forever.
Rachel: Ross, those things go like 40 miles an hour! Ok? When you're... and there is that moment when you are at the top, when you just don't know if you're gonna return back to earth!
Rachel: That was one time, Ross, and they were only like 5 milligrams.
Ross: Ok.
Ross: Here we go! (He starts pushing Emma)
Ross (to Emma): Ready sweety?
[Fade to Black, then fade in again with Ross stopped at the doorway.]
Ross: See, I told you!
Ross: Oh, absolutely!
(Rachel stands up and kisses Ross. He is stunned. A moment of silence follows.)
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
Ross: Okay, Im sorry, this is insane! I-I-Im not addicted to heroin, Im not gay, and there is no problem with my ability to consummate anything! Look, Ill consummate this marriage right here, right now!
Ross: Well that stinks. I was looking forward to us wearing our celebrity tuxes together.
Rachel: Oh, oh Ross, oh my God, are you okay?
Ross and Rachel: Hmmmm .
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there except for Rachel and Ross, who both come storming in. Rachel is still going off about Rosss secret marriage.]
Ross: Good.
Rachel: (returning) Wait-wait-wait, I just thought of another story about how nice Ross is!
Ross: Yeah, um, okay see, you were, you were on the list but my friend, Chandler (Chandler waves) brought up the very good point that you are international, so I bumped you for Wynona Rider, local.
Ross: A-a-and... record.
Ross: I've got to say you guys, that's an incredible gesture!
Ross: Small... (Rachel comes back into the living room and catches Ross mocking her.)
[Scene: Benjamin's office. Ross and Charlie are entering.]
Ross: Wait a minute; you don't think it was intentional? I mean, that's just stupid.
Ross: (nervously) Ok...
Ross: See?
Rachel: ROSS!
Ross: Are you kidding?
Ross: Rach, you can't call people at three in the morning.
Phoebe: (singing) Happy Chanukah, Monica! May your Christmas be snowy, Joey! Happy New Year, Chandler and Ross. Spin the draddle, Rachel!
Ross: So?
Ross: Guess where they are?
Ross: Did I do something to you?
Ross: Hey! Hey, guess what Joey has!
(Ross and Joey enter)
Ross: Dude, I wanted him to guess.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: (deadpan) Well, Im going to take off. (To Chandler) Congratulations man.
Ross: He's right, man.