words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is siting on the couch as Ross and Chandler enter after playing basketball.]
Ross: (To Chandler) Dude, that reverse lay-up! Oh
Ross: Amazing!
Ross: Oh, you guys call him Cute Coffeehouse Guy, we call him Hums While He Pees.
Chandler: Yes, and we call Ross Lingers In The Bathroom.
Phoebe: He is! But hes getting divorcedRoss! Maybe you know him.
Ross: Its not a club.
Ross: Hey, divorced men are not bad men!
Ross: Soon hell be able to call you, that lady he knew who got fired.
Ross: Maybe I should open a divorced mens club.
Ross: I could put uh-uh a basketball court in the back.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are going over the picture proofs.]
Ross: I like this one. (Points to it.) It seems to say, "I love you and thats why I have to kill you."
Phoebe: Okay, I know. Hold on. (She walks over to the couch.) Hey Ross?
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: What?! No!
Ross: Look, I dont think so Pheebs. (Pause) All right, Ill do it. But just because youre a friend. (Grabs the tickets and heads to divert Whitney.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is dancing around his living room as Phoebe enters, catching and startling him.]
Ross: All right! I want my key back!
Ross: Its right there! (Points to her hand.)
Ross: Look, Im sorry but you-you-you better go Pheebs.
Ross: Oh yeahNoYoure welcome. Well talk about it later.
(Ross opens the door to reveal Whitney standing there.)
Ross: Hi Whitney.
Whitney: Hi Ross! You ready for breakfast?
Ross: Yep. (Phoebe slams the door shut.) Okay.
Phoebe: (To Ross) Kyles ex-wife? You were supposed to divert her not date her!
Ross: (opens the door and to Whitney) Hi! Im sorry, but can you give me a second while I talk to this woman, who by the way did not spend the night.
Ross: Okay. (Closes the door.) (To Phoebe) I did divert her and we ended up having a great time! Okay?
Ross: Yes! Thats where we realized we were both super cool people!
Phoebe: Well look-look, okay Ross, Kyle just told me some really bad stuff about her.
Ross: Like what?
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Fine! Thank you for warning me. At breakfast Ill be on full alert for room painting and sex weapons.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Pheebs come on! I mean, consider the source! Of course her ex-husbands gonna say that stuff. Now, if youll excuse me
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Phoebe are there.]
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Listen, you are hearing one side of the story, okayand F.Y.I she mustve shown Kyle over 30 paint samples before she painted that room! And his response to each one was, "I dont give a tiny rats ass."
Ross: Well, I dont think we are gonna have that problem, but maybe thats just because I am not emotionally unavailable!
Ross: I think he can be.
Ross: Well, excuse her for knowing what she wants to do with her life!
Ross: (angrily) I knew you were gonna throw that in my face!! That was three years ago! She apologized and she apologized! What more do you want?!!
Ross: So do we!! So do we!! (Ross notices a couple has been staring at them.) Im sorry you had to see that.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Phoebe are there again, only now theyre not talking to each other. Phoebe is loudly stirring her coffee.]
Ross: My God!
Ross: Well maybe she wouldnt have to be selfish in bed if someone else knew where everything was!
Ross: Wh-whats up?
Ross: Oh just say it Kyle!
Ross: (To Whitney) Yknow, he hums when he pees!
Ross: It makes him miss the bowl, but whatever.
Ross: Thats all right, we-we dont need you. In fact, hey Im over it already.
Ross: (To Phoebe) Im sorry. Ugh, Pheebs, you were, you were right about her. Yknow, she did try to use sex as a weapon! Yeah, I hurt my back a little.
Ross: Yeah, were better off without them.
Ross: Divorced mens club.
Chandler: Oh, Im Ross. Im Ross. Im too good for the Hut; Im too good for the Hut.
Ross: There was just an explosion, okay? My hearing would be impaired.
Ross: Im going to uh Im going to, um, put the bourbon in it at home.
Ross: Look, this is my home and I want to be able to come and go whenever I want!
Ross: You're wrong.
Ross: No, they're not.
Ross: You're wrong.
Chandler: Ross is smart and funny, d'you ever think that about him?
Ross: The big deal is I dont want naked, greasy strangers in my apartment when I want to kick back with a puzzlebeer! Cold beer.
(Ross comes back to the couch.)
Ross: (getting up, upset) I'm calling Mom.
Monica: Hey Ross, maybe if your skin was lighter. Your teeth wouldnt look so bright.
Ross: Well, I'm off to Carol's.
Ross: Hi, is uh, is Carol here?
Ross: You're not serious, I mean, you really... you really talk to it?
Ross: Do you uh, do you talk about me?
Ross: Really?
[Rachel is in the kitchen fiddling with her English truffle. Joey and Ross, anxious to leave and go to Janines party, are egging her on to hurry up.]
[cut back to Ross who finally finishes his so-called song with the same crash from before. He gets some applause, mainly cause hes done.]
(Ross runs out too.)
Ross: That's closer.
(Ross exits.)
Ross: To London! Come to London. Please? Itll mean so much to me.
Ross: (she lets him in) Okay! (to her son) Hey Tommy.
Ross: No-no its not. What-what happened there Ned?
Ross: Oh, we went to see a collection of Victorian doorknobs and the Cupert-Hewitt museum.
Ross: Yeah, thats okay, I mean if you guys all have to go away for the first weekend Im alone by myself, y'know then I totally, totally understand.
Ross: Oh, please. I am not singing to your stomach, ok?
Rachel: Ross!! Oh my--ugh!! You kept count?! You are such a loser!
(Ross enters, singing.)
Ross: Look, what do you want me to do? Do you want me to call everyone in the entire school and tell them it wasnt true?!
Rachel: Because you are my sister and Ross and I have this huge history
Ross: No, us having to lie about being married.
Ross: Oh, she didn't think it would be that big of deal.
Mr Zelner: (Takes a long look at the egg while he considers it) Wow, that's pretty cool (Takes the egg from Ross)
Ross: What? Oh yeah. (He moves next to her head.) Im sorry. I mean I-I think I went a little crazy. I mean I was thinking about myself when I (Wanders towards Rachels feet) reallyI should have been thinking about you Rach
Ross: Yeah, well, you didn't know Chi Chi.
(Ross calls his parents on his cell phone.)
Rachel: I think I'm gonna take off. (pats Ross on his back, but he looks very surprised)
Ross: I find Marions views far to progressionist.
Ross: I know, I know I was, but there was always this little voice inside that kept saying it's never gonna happen, move on. You know whose voice that was?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]
Ross: One more time, "Hey, dont you want a washboard stomach and rock hard pecs?"
Ross: C'mon, this was a pact! This was your pact!
Ross: Laugh all you want but uh, she actually left me a message saying shed like to go out again.
Ross: Okay, look, he's not gonna hurt them, right?
Ross: Woha! Wait... What are we doing? What we have is too important to mess it up over some girl. I mean, we can get laid anytime we want.
Rachel: I don't know. I don't know... I thought about it all the way there, and I thought about it all the way back... and, uh, oh, you guys, y'know, it's Ross. Y'know what I mean? I mean, it's Ross.
Ross: Oh, I thought Joey was here. Five is good. (Gunther leaves, hurt) Well, I'm gonna have a loogie in my coffee tomorrow.
Ross: Four.
Ross: Hey, y'know, this is so not what I needed right now.
Ross: Really.
Ross: No.
Ross: Five. (Buries his head in his hands)
Ross: Right, they are scary. (He jumps up, screaming) Ahh, she just ate a treat out of my hand!!!
ROSS: Ok, ok, you know what? I think you're very funny. Kudos on that hat joke. But, come on guy just, just give him back the hat.
Ross: Oh, come on you guys; thats funny! Yknow? Because hes needhes got like a hearing aide yknow, cause-cause yknow, cause hes all old, and
[We then go into another set of flashbacks of famous fights. The first is the second breakup of Ross and Rachel from The One With The Jellyfish.]
Ross: Uh-uhWow! Uh, I thought you guys were just like making jokes, I had no idea. What you know what? You guys are wrong. Uh yes, there is a chronological age difference but I never notice it. You know why? Because she is very mature. Besides, it doesnt really matter to me what you guys think. I mean, Im the one dating Elizabeth, not you!
Ross: No. No, no. She doesn't want to see you right now.
Ross: You're gonna be an aunt.
Ross: Im-Im gonna wear this all the time! I love this shirt!! (he kisses the shirt)
Ross: It is. Eventually, it kind of... burns out. But hopefully, what you're left with is trust, and security, and... well, in the case of my ex-wife, lesbianism. So, you know, for all of those people who miss out on that passion... thing, there's all that other good stuff.
Ross: Hey, I have a question. Well, actually, it's not so much a question as.. more of a general wondering... ment.
(Ross is still taking photos)
Joey: Good, good yeah, (Grabs the bags) maybe while were there, they can check your reflexes. (Joey opens the door and it hits Ross in the face with it.) (Makes quote marks.) "Oops."
Ross: Oh, oh, we did say wed stop by this little thing Joeys roommate is having.
Rachel: That is great. Hey, yknow who doesnt have to job hunt? Ross. He works at the university.
Ross: So how'd it go?
(Inside the apartment the phone rings.� Ross answers it.)
[Scene: The delivery room, Chandler, Frank, and Ross are with Phoebe.]
Ross: Hi roomie! (Hugs her and looks at Rachel.)
Ross: No, hey, I get that, okay, I get that big time. And Im happy for ya, but Im tired of having a relationship with your answering machine! Okay, I dont know what to do anymore.
Ross: Do you have a point?
Ross: You can live with me.
Ross: Oh, please...
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Ross is absent.]
Ross: What, uh... what juggling thing?
Monica: So wait, Rosss stuff is fine, but I have no memories because you wanted to keep the bottom two inches of your car away from water!!!
Ross: Its just I miss her so much.
Ross: Eh, her-her uncle already had planned on doing it. And yknow, we-we said our good-byes this morning, so
Rachel: (to Ross, who has wandered up) God, he's good.
Ross: Aww. Thank you, Aunt Phoebe.
Jill: Me go out with Ross?! No! God no! What would make you think that?
Ross: (showing the Playboy magazine to Gunther) Oh, hey, Gunther, check this out.
Ross: Nothing. Nothing nothing nothing.
Ross: You had a rough day, huh.. c'mere. (She sits down and Ross strokes her forehead.)
Ross: You're good.
Ross: When?
Ross: Please.
Ross: Right.
Ross: Hey, is Chandler here?
Ross: Uh-oh...
Ross: No, Im serious. You-you need to find out where she is, because if shes not where you are, then you can start to move past this.
Ross: Well, I gotta go. Bye. Bye, Rach.
Ross: Okay.
Ross: What code?
Ross: Hey.
Ross: Do they wait for me to do this?
Ross: Will you make the mashed potatoes with the lumps?