words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is siting on the couch as Ross and Chandler enter after playing basketball.]
Ross: (To Chandler) Dude, that reverse lay-up! Oh
Ross: Amazing!
Ross: Oh, you guys call him Cute Coffeehouse Guy, we call him Hums While He Pees.
Chandler: Yes, and we call Ross Lingers In The Bathroom.
Phoebe: He is! But hes getting divorcedRoss! Maybe you know him.
Ross: Its not a club.
Ross: Hey, divorced men are not bad men!
Ross: Soon hell be able to call you, that lady he knew who got fired.
Ross: Maybe I should open a divorced mens club.
Ross: I could put uh-uh a basketball court in the back.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are going over the picture proofs.]
Ross: I like this one. (Points to it.) It seems to say, "I love you and thats why I have to kill you."
Phoebe: Okay, I know. Hold on. (She walks over to the couch.) Hey Ross?
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: What?! No!
Ross: Look, I dont think so Pheebs. (Pause) All right, Ill do it. But just because youre a friend. (Grabs the tickets and heads to divert Whitney.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is dancing around his living room as Phoebe enters, catching and startling him.]
Ross: All right! I want my key back!
Ross: Its right there! (Points to her hand.)
Ross: Look, Im sorry but you-you-you better go Pheebs.
Ross: Oh yeahNoYoure welcome. Well talk about it later.
(Ross opens the door to reveal Whitney standing there.)
Ross: Hi Whitney.
Whitney: Hi Ross! You ready for breakfast?
Ross: Yep. (Phoebe slams the door shut.) Okay.
Phoebe: (To Ross) Kyles ex-wife? You were supposed to divert her not date her!
Ross: (opens the door and to Whitney) Hi! Im sorry, but can you give me a second while I talk to this woman, who by the way did not spend the night.
Ross: Okay. (Closes the door.) (To Phoebe) I did divert her and we ended up having a great time! Okay?
Ross: Yes! Thats where we realized we were both super cool people!
Phoebe: Well look-look, okay Ross, Kyle just told me some really bad stuff about her.
Ross: Like what?
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Fine! Thank you for warning me. At breakfast Ill be on full alert for room painting and sex weapons.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Pheebs come on! I mean, consider the source! Of course her ex-husbands gonna say that stuff. Now, if youll excuse me
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Phoebe are there.]
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Listen, you are hearing one side of the story, okayand F.Y.I she mustve shown Kyle over 30 paint samples before she painted that room! And his response to each one was, "I dont give a tiny rats ass."
Ross: Well, I dont think we are gonna have that problem, but maybe thats just because I am not emotionally unavailable!
Ross: I think he can be.
Ross: Well, excuse her for knowing what she wants to do with her life!
Ross: (angrily) I knew you were gonna throw that in my face!! That was three years ago! She apologized and she apologized! What more do you want?!!
Ross: So do we!! So do we!! (Ross notices a couple has been staring at them.) Im sorry you had to see that.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Phoebe are there again, only now theyre not talking to each other. Phoebe is loudly stirring her coffee.]
Ross: My God!
Ross: Well maybe she wouldnt have to be selfish in bed if someone else knew where everything was!
Ross: Wh-whats up?
Ross: Oh just say it Kyle!
Ross: (To Whitney) Yknow, he hums when he pees!
Ross: It makes him miss the bowl, but whatever.
Ross: Thats all right, we-we dont need you. In fact, hey Im over it already.
Ross: (To Phoebe) Im sorry. Ugh, Pheebs, you were, you were right about her. Yknow, she did try to use sex as a weapon! Yeah, I hurt my back a little.
Ross: Yeah, were better off without them.
Ross: Divorced mens club.
Ross: Okay, break-ups still on!
ROSS: Oh, hey, if I make you laugh, here's an idea, why don't you invite Paulo over and have a little romp in the sack and I'll just stand in the corner and tell knock-knock jokes.
Ross: Umm, say youre gonna be starving after all this moving. What do you say I take you to dinner tonight?
Ross: Uh okay, well theres-theres wine in the kitchen.
Ross: His daughter was hot.
Ross: To be fair, he doesnt seem to be impersonating Fonzie
(Joey and Ross enter.)
ROSS: But I don't know it. What I do know is that you owe $2300 at Isn't it Chromantic.
Ross and Rachel: Hey!
Ross: About what?
Ross: As a romancer of the elderly.
Ross: Take thee, (Glares at the Minister) Emily. (Chuckles) Like thered be anybody else. (Emily is glaring at him.)
Ross: Are you sure?
Ross: Hey! Hey, look! Ugly Naked Guy's back!
Ross: Well, you-youve always had glasses.
Ross: Yeah I know. (Pause) On the other hand in um, in about seven months youre gonna have something that youre gonna love more than any guy youve ever gone out with. Just wait. Wait until uh, wait until the first time your baby grabs your finger. You have no idea.
Ross: Joey, Im not worried about her! Im worried about my baby! Whoever she dates my baby dates! Now-now where is this (makes the quote-marks sign) actor taking them?
Ross: No, why?
Rachel: Okay, yknow what?! I know-I know how to settle this! All right here, this is what were gonna do! Im gonna write Joey on one napkin (does so) and Im gonna right Ross on the other napkin (does so) and we are going to pick one! And that person is going to be our backup! Okay?
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Yeah. Do you have any idea what this means in academic circles, uh? I am gonna get laid.
Ross: Oh, we have to get you an engagement present?
Ross: No, I'll do it. (he quickly grabs Joey's boarding pass and gives Joey his one.)
Ross: No one got me an engagement present.
Ross: Look, I uh, I tried not to kiss her, okay?
Joey: Oh, oh! Any chance any of this happened in a "Galaxy far, far away"? (Ross turns aroud and glares at him. Joey and Rachel decide to leave).
Rachel: Oh no Ross! This is not good, we have to talk about this Joey thing. Please sit. (He sits) You have got to get over this Joey thing, okay? I never really wanted to marry Joey, okay?
Ross: He gave me a pill for it.
ROSS: Actually it's the movie theatre that has the time schedule. So you don't miss the beginning.
Ross: Hey, how can it not be me?!HeyHey!
Ross: (entering with Chandler) Hey.
Ross: Hey, if they have a ball maybe you can stick razor blades in it and teach them a new game, Gonna Need Stitches Ball.
Ross: Stupid balls are in the way. (holds up two balls)
Ross: You were trying to eat it!
Ross: Sure, because women never like Joey. Yknow, I think hes a virgin.
Ross: Hey.
Ross: Thank you!
Ross: Whoa-whoa, arent you a little over dressed?
Chandler: (To Ross) Thanks for picking out the earrings man.
Ross: (weakly) No.
Ross: Which one was that?
Ross: Lets give it a shot.
Ross: Look, I do not re-love her.
Janice: (Ross is still taking their photo) Oh, I'm gonna blow this one up, and I'm gonna write 'Reunited' in glitter.
Rachel: Oh, honey, please, no, I can't get started with all that Ross stuff again. I mean, he's gonna screwed up for a looong time. And besides y'know, I don't, I don't go for guys right after they get divorced.
Ross: Okay Phoebe, I guess youre next (To Joey) although I really dont see the point.
[Cut to the kitchen, Ross and Chandler are doing the dishes.]
Ross: Looking up?
[Scene: The playground. Ross, Rachel and Emma are still there. Rachel comes walking to Ross and Emma with something between her hands.]
Ross: We?! We angered it?!
[Scene: Rosss office, hes opening the door to Elizabeth.]
Monica: Oh no its not, no its not. Its a first date. Im sure that nothing is gonna (as she is talking we see Ross close his drapes.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching a basketball game, Ross is staring out the peephole.]
Ross: Oh-no. No. No.
Ross: Ohhhh
Chandler: You wanna see flirting? I'll show you flirting. (Starts to move towards Ross.)
Phoebe: Yeah, not in your case Lovey Loverson. (Tries to take a bite out of Rosss cookie.)
[Ross and Chandler stare angrily at Joey, who thinks he has come up with a good idea.]
Ross: It wasnt the best.
Monica: (to Ross) Let me get you some coffee.
Ross: Well I'm thinking that Chandler's our friend and Janice makes him happy, so I say we just all be adult about it and accept her.
Ross: Joey, we just saw you come in. You ran past us on the stairs.
Ross: (mockingly)A psychic AND a wishbone? Guys! Give someone else a chance!
Ross: Oh, wow! I should get going. I-I got a date tonight.
Ross: Thats, thats pretty. (They start to dance and Gert tries to step on Rosss feet, but he pulls them out of harms way.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What are you doing there Gert?
Ross: Okay, Monica. Mon, uh what-what you just saw
[Flashback to: A street, Ross is sitting in his newly purchased MGB. Which is one of the better British sports cars ever made. Of course, better is a relative term. Which reminds me of a joke. Why dont the British make computers? Because they couldnt figure out how to make them leak oil. Anyway, the gang is all staring at his new purchase.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are there.]
Ross: Right. No biggie. Stay loose.
Monica: Ross!
Ross: I was working late in the library one afternoon. It was just the two of us. She needed some help with her word jumble. And one thing led to another. If you must know, Anita was very gentle and tender. May she rest in peace
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: (To Chandler) You told her!
Ross: (To Chandler) How could you tell her?!
Ross: (He interrupts her immediately, and drags her by her arm to the other side of the room) Well, can I talk to you for a sec.?
Ross: No, no, Im serious. Thank you.
Monica: (running up to Ross) What happened in Atlantic City?!
Ross: Yeah in fact, Im gonna go call her right now. And Ill make sure to tell her my friend Chandler says (He mimics the shy reaction Chandler did.)
Ross: Oh Mon, I laughed so hard
Chandler: Ross came in forth and cried!
Ross: Monica couldnt tell time til she was 13!
Chandler: (To Monica) Of course it is. (Mouths to Ross) Wowwhoa!
Ross: She is not (Realizes) Shes gay. Oh my God. She is so gay! I cant believe this.
(They all turn and with shocked looks on their faces stare at Ross. Ross is at a loss for words at this moment.)
Ross: (losing control, we hear him shout outside) MY SANDWICH?!!!
Phoebe: Yeah, I dreamt that he saved me from a burning building and he was so brave and so strong! And its making me look at him totally differently. Yknow, I mean he used to be just, yknow Jack Geller Monica and Rosss dad and now hes hes Jack Geller, dream hunk."
Ross: And! We should keep all the stuff uh, we told each other secret from everybody else.
(Ross storms out.)
Chandler: (reading) Knock-knock. Who's there? Ross Geller's lunch. Ross Geller's lunch, who? Ross Geller's lunch, please don't take me. Okay?
ROSS: I don't know.� But, you know, we, we have a lot in common, you know.� He plays piano; I played keyboards in college.� He's been divorced; I have some experience in that area.
Ross: Uh, yeah, Ill take a coffee. Thanks, man.
Ross: Oh my God. (Hugs Chandler.) Congratulations.
Ross: Oh, is that funny?! Oh, you-you find that funny?! Well maybe Chandler should know some of your secrets too!
Ross: But hey, its not just me, I mean the scientists and the tour guides never sit together.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Evil Bitch and Sick Bastard are gone and Ross has just finished talking to a nurse as Rachel stands and stretches.]
Ross: Mark is that ah, the same Mark that helped you get the job?
Ross: Phoebe, I told her you already knew.
Ross: No, not a problem.
Ross: Yeah, yeah, I was watching. (The instructor just nods and walks away.) Umm, hey, a couple of questions though. Umm, about that-that-that last move where the woman tripped you and then pinned you to the floor, what-what-what-what would you do next?
Ross: Okay, okay, Im sorry, it will never happen... (closes eyes) Uh-oh! Wait a minute! Wait-wait, now there are a hundred of you and Im the king.