words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is siting on the couch as Ross and Chandler enter after playing basketball.]
Ross: (To Chandler) Dude, that reverse lay-up! Oh
Ross: Amazing!
Ross: Oh, you guys call him Cute Coffeehouse Guy, we call him Hums While He Pees.
Chandler: Yes, and we call Ross Lingers In The Bathroom.
Phoebe: He is! But hes getting divorcedRoss! Maybe you know him.
Ross: Its not a club.
Ross: Hey, divorced men are not bad men!
Ross: Soon hell be able to call you, that lady he knew who got fired.
Ross: Maybe I should open a divorced mens club.
Ross: I could put uh-uh a basketball court in the back.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are going over the picture proofs.]
Ross: I like this one. (Points to it.) It seems to say, "I love you and thats why I have to kill you."
Phoebe: Okay, I know. Hold on. (She walks over to the couch.) Hey Ross?
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: What?! No!
Ross: Look, I dont think so Pheebs. (Pause) All right, Ill do it. But just because youre a friend. (Grabs the tickets and heads to divert Whitney.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is dancing around his living room as Phoebe enters, catching and startling him.]
Ross: All right! I want my key back!
Ross: Its right there! (Points to her hand.)
Ross: Look, Im sorry but you-you-you better go Pheebs.
Ross: Oh yeahNoYoure welcome. Well talk about it later.
(Ross opens the door to reveal Whitney standing there.)
Ross: Hi Whitney.
Whitney: Hi Ross! You ready for breakfast?
Ross: Yep. (Phoebe slams the door shut.) Okay.
Phoebe: (To Ross) Kyles ex-wife? You were supposed to divert her not date her!
Ross: (opens the door and to Whitney) Hi! Im sorry, but can you give me a second while I talk to this woman, who by the way did not spend the night.
Ross: Okay. (Closes the door.) (To Phoebe) I did divert her and we ended up having a great time! Okay?
Ross: Yes! Thats where we realized we were both super cool people!
Phoebe: Well look-look, okay Ross, Kyle just told me some really bad stuff about her.
Ross: Like what?
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Fine! Thank you for warning me. At breakfast Ill be on full alert for room painting and sex weapons.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Pheebs come on! I mean, consider the source! Of course her ex-husbands gonna say that stuff. Now, if youll excuse me
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Phoebe are there.]
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Listen, you are hearing one side of the story, okayand F.Y.I she mustve shown Kyle over 30 paint samples before she painted that room! And his response to each one was, "I dont give a tiny rats ass."
Ross: Well, I dont think we are gonna have that problem, but maybe thats just because I am not emotionally unavailable!
Ross: I think he can be.
Ross: Well, excuse her for knowing what she wants to do with her life!
Ross: (angrily) I knew you were gonna throw that in my face!! That was three years ago! She apologized and she apologized! What more do you want?!!
Ross: So do we!! So do we!! (Ross notices a couple has been staring at them.) Im sorry you had to see that.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Phoebe are there again, only now theyre not talking to each other. Phoebe is loudly stirring her coffee.]
Ross: My God!
Ross: Well maybe she wouldnt have to be selfish in bed if someone else knew where everything was!
Ross: Wh-whats up?
Ross: Oh just say it Kyle!
Ross: (To Whitney) Yknow, he hums when he pees!
Ross: It makes him miss the bowl, but whatever.
Ross: Thats all right, we-we dont need you. In fact, hey Im over it already.
Ross: (To Phoebe) Im sorry. Ugh, Pheebs, you were, you were right about her. Yknow, she did try to use sex as a weapon! Yeah, I hurt my back a little.
Ross: Yeah, were better off without them.
Ross: Divorced mens club.
Ross: Yeah, okay, Scott!
ROSS: Wha, OK, now how do you know that?
Ross: So, you’re saying, uh, if I wear these pants I might be getting into hers?
Ross: That, that is funny... (to Joey).... and Rachel keeps touching him.
JOEY: Hey Ross, I'm aware of what I owe.
ROSS: Whad'ya mean?
Ross: Uhh, it was fun. We, we just had coffee.
Ross: No! No! It would be weird if we were still in that place, I mean are you still in that place?
Mr. Geller: No! Thank you! (Hugs Chandler) Monica, and Ross! I dont know what Im gonna do about the two of you!
Ross: Dont blame the questions!
Ross: Wow. Im sorry, when I was a kid I lost a bike to that. (Rachel giggles at that)
Monica: Four, please. (Ross looks at her) Im really nervous. (Ross gives her the four dogs) Thank you. (she grabs four buns, and heads back inside)
Ross: Listen, if you ever have any problem with the ladies you know Ill help you out.
Ross: Yeah.
Monica: Rosss apartment is nice! How come we don't hang out here more often?
Ross: OK. (closes eyes) I'm in my apartment...
Ross: Dude!
Ross: Oh, now you want a favour?
ROSS: I am your friend.
Ross: People can hear you.
Rachel: Nodded off!! Ross you were snoring. My fathers boat didnt make that much noise when it hit rocks!
Ross: Uh actually Joey, its the Cretasous period.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Theyre not a couple!
Ross: Oh yeah!
Ross: No.
Ross: I'm not going nuts. Do you see me go nuts?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is in the kitchen as Ross and Ben are entering.]
Ross: Oh yeah!
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey are you getting Monica and Chandler an engagement present?
Ross: Marcel, stop humping the lamp! Stop humping! Now Marcel, come back- (Marcel runs toward Rachel's room) come here, Marcel-
Ross: Look, weve been together. Okay? And then apart, and then together, and then apart, and now we have a baby. (Pause) Its just if-if we got together again and it didnt work out I could never do that to Emma. I mean she-she thinking everything(Starts to cry.) Oh thats now me. What do they put something in the water in this place? Since Rachel and I were doing really, were doing really well right now.
Ross: Hey, what you do on your own time...
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Listen, I-I need a favor. Umm, I was in the shower, and as I was cleansing myself, I ah, I-I, well I felt something.
Ross: Im gonna call her.
Phoebe: Perhaps because you gave her an engagement ring? Yknow Ross doctors are supposed to be smart.
(Elizabeth leaves and Ross starts to remove his clothing right there in the middle of the living room where someone can see him. Of course, someone almost does, but he hears a door opening and )
ROSS: Yeah, so uh, is it sore or can you do stuff?
Ross: Uh, hello!
Ross: No! No! Of course it didnt mean anything! I mean, uh well, I can understand why Emily would think it meant something, yknow, because-because it was you
(Chandler, Ross, and Phoebe all stop dead in their tracks at the news.)
Phoebe: I'm not going along with some lie you made Ross, No I'm just gonna be honest with him.
Ross: Chandler was hitting on the hot delivery girl!
Ross: Breathe.
Ross: So you were right?
Ross: Chandler!
ROSS: You're joking, right? You guys just walked through the door.
Chandler: Oh! (Whispers something in Joeys ear and then in Rosss ear.)
(Ross enters.)
Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.
Ross: How might you be wrong?
Chandler: Steps! (He opens the door to his apartment to Ross and Joey looking at the new Playboy) Slut! (Ross and Joey quickly hide the Playboy behind their backs. Chandler wonders into the girls apartment.) You will all be very happy to hear that Kathy is sleeping with that guy!
Ross: But now! Im there! Im totally there! Im-Im finally where you are!
Rachel: Ross! What are you I'm sorry sir. I just, I think he just really likes you.
Ross: Yeah. But, the good news is that Phoebe said that I could stay at her place for a while. So
Ross: Okay, relax, relax. We are gonna be here for a while, it looks like, and we still have boyfriends and your career to cover.
Ross: (to Chandler) It's her first day at this new job. Your not supposed to start with her!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol is dropping Ben off for Ross to watch.]
Ross: Oh my God!
Rachel: ...And so then I realized. All this stuff I had been doing. proposing to Joshua, lying to Ross about why I couldnt come to the wedding. Was all just a way of...
Ross: Oh, yumm!
Ross: This is beautiful!
Ross: Alright, I panicked, alright? She took me by surprise. You know, but it wasn't a total loss. I mean, we ended up cuddling.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: What are you saying?
Ross: Somewhere maybe along the equator?
ROSS: All right then.
Ross: So whats a matter, you need a dentist? Ive got a good one.
Ross: Science. Yeah, I think I've heard of that. (everyone's interest is piqued, they all look over)
Ross: (To Joey) Sir Limps-A-Lot, I came up with that.
Emily: (laughs) Well, I should hope not. Ross knows better than that by now.
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Are you kidding?!
Ross: Are you guys sure about this?
Ross: Hey!
(A woman with a steel drum and a guy with a xylophone start playing an instrumental version of "Can't Help Falling In Love" by Elvis Presley. A bridesmaid and a groomsman walk down the isle. Next are Rachel and Ross, who carries Chappy in his arms.)
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Oh, no, no, no, its-its not the lecture ah, I mind, umm....
Rachel: No, its Ross. Its Ross. You like Ross. (He just shakes his head.) Oh daddy, I hope youre okay with all of this. I mean think about it, this is a good thing. Youre gonnaThis is your first grandchild! Youre gonna be a poppy!
ROSS: C'mon, what's his name?
Monica: Ross, Rachel promised it would be over by now. We seriously have to go, if we want to get to Vermont. I called them and the last train leaves in a half hour.
[The next flashback is from The One With Ross's Sandwich, Ross his confronting his boss about him eating Ross's sandwich.]
Ross: No.
Chandler: Yes! Ross, you have to stay!
Rachel: Ross, can you pass me the yams?
Ross: All right.
Ross: Please hurry.
Ross: Ohh, these are pretty good.
[Scene: Rosss bedroom, Rachel getting into bed while Ross is reading and laughs.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is there as Chandler and Monica enters.]
Ross: Rach! Wait! The men's room is that way. (Points in the other direction. Rachel hits him with her purse and heads for the ladies room.)
ROSS: Oh OK. Well then why don't you, uhh, why don't you borrow it from mom and dad? You feel guilty and tense around them already. You might as well make some money off of them.
Ross: Nooo, but it, but its great.
Ross: Joey-
Ross: Well, if-if she thought they were on a break
Phoebe: Oooh look! Isnt this adorable, Ross let Ben address mine!
Ross: Oh, just hold on a second. Im watching this rugby thing on ESPN. I dont know what the big deal is. Im man enough to play this sport.
Ross: (interrupting) No! No, I wont! Ill be at the bottom of the dating barrel now. The only guys below me will be Four Divorce Guy uh, Murderer Guy, and-and, Geologists.