words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is siting on the couch as Ross and Chandler enter after playing basketball.]
Ross: (To Chandler) Dude, that reverse lay-up! Oh
Ross: Amazing!
Ross: Oh, you guys call him Cute Coffeehouse Guy, we call him Hums While He Pees.
Chandler: Yes, and we call Ross Lingers In The Bathroom.
Phoebe: He is! But hes getting divorcedRoss! Maybe you know him.
Ross: Its not a club.
Ross: Hey, divorced men are not bad men!
Ross: Soon hell be able to call you, that lady he knew who got fired.
Ross: Maybe I should open a divorced mens club.
Ross: I could put uh-uh a basketball court in the back.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are going over the picture proofs.]
Ross: I like this one. (Points to it.) It seems to say, "I love you and thats why I have to kill you."
Phoebe: Okay, I know. Hold on. (She walks over to the couch.) Hey Ross?
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: What?! No!
Ross: Look, I dont think so Pheebs. (Pause) All right, Ill do it. But just because youre a friend. (Grabs the tickets and heads to divert Whitney.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is dancing around his living room as Phoebe enters, catching and startling him.]
Ross: All right! I want my key back!
Ross: Its right there! (Points to her hand.)
Ross: Look, Im sorry but you-you-you better go Pheebs.
Ross: Oh yeahNoYoure welcome. Well talk about it later.
(Ross opens the door to reveal Whitney standing there.)
Ross: Hi Whitney.
Whitney: Hi Ross! You ready for breakfast?
Ross: Yep. (Phoebe slams the door shut.) Okay.
Phoebe: (To Ross) Kyles ex-wife? You were supposed to divert her not date her!
Ross: (opens the door and to Whitney) Hi! Im sorry, but can you give me a second while I talk to this woman, who by the way did not spend the night.
Ross: Okay. (Closes the door.) (To Phoebe) I did divert her and we ended up having a great time! Okay?
Ross: Yes! Thats where we realized we were both super cool people!
Phoebe: Well look-look, okay Ross, Kyle just told me some really bad stuff about her.
Ross: Like what?
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Fine! Thank you for warning me. At breakfast Ill be on full alert for room painting and sex weapons.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Pheebs come on! I mean, consider the source! Of course her ex-husbands gonna say that stuff. Now, if youll excuse me
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Phoebe are there.]
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Listen, you are hearing one side of the story, okayand F.Y.I she mustve shown Kyle over 30 paint samples before she painted that room! And his response to each one was, "I dont give a tiny rats ass."
Ross: Well, I dont think we are gonna have that problem, but maybe thats just because I am not emotionally unavailable!
Ross: I think he can be.
Ross: Well, excuse her for knowing what she wants to do with her life!
Ross: (angrily) I knew you were gonna throw that in my face!! That was three years ago! She apologized and she apologized! What more do you want?!!
Ross: So do we!! So do we!! (Ross notices a couple has been staring at them.) Im sorry you had to see that.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Phoebe are there again, only now theyre not talking to each other. Phoebe is loudly stirring her coffee.]
Ross: My God!
Ross: Well maybe she wouldnt have to be selfish in bed if someone else knew where everything was!
Ross: Wh-whats up?
Ross: Oh just say it Kyle!
Ross: (To Whitney) Yknow, he hums when he pees!
Ross: It makes him miss the bowl, but whatever.
Ross: Thats all right, we-we dont need you. In fact, hey Im over it already.
Ross: (To Phoebe) Im sorry. Ugh, Pheebs, you were, you were right about her. Yknow, she did try to use sex as a weapon! Yeah, I hurt my back a little.
Ross: Yeah, were better off without them.
Ross: Divorced mens club.
(The unvoiced hissing continues. In alarm, Ross and Chandler look at the monkey, who is now in some distress.)
Ross: Hi.
Ross: It'll be nice to get this off finally, won't it? Yes it will. (Marcel resists) Or we can leave it on for now, that's fine.
[Ross and Rachel hug.]
Ross: I do.
Ross: Yes, yes, that's right...
Rachel: Ohhh!!!! [looking at something behind Ross]
Ross: What? [the cat jumps on his shoulders] Ow!
Emily: Ohh, Ross, please!
Ross: Wait a minute, is it because Joey and I didnt invite him to that Knicks game a couple of weeks ago?
Rachel: (to Ross) Yes! Did you see that?
Ross: Come on you guys, we're sorry, alri...? Our subway broke down.
Ross: Good.
Rachel: Umm, okay, I think I'm-I'm just gonna-just gonna say it. Just gonna say it. Uhh, (pause) I'm still in love with you Ross.
Ross: People are doing it in front of my book!
Ross: Fine.
Rachel: Good. (Ross leaves)
Phoebe: Okay, scarfs done. (Its not really a scarf, its just a bunch of yarn that Phoebe has tied together. Just then, Ross and Emily enter dragging with them Joey and Chandler.)
Ross: Okay, its not, its not.
Ross: (yelling, thinking Emily can hear him through the answering machine all the way to New York.) I love you too! Im, Im gonna call you right now from the phone booth! (Realises) You cant hear me. (Goes to make his call.)
[Rachel and Ross go out in the hall]
Ross: Is this about Mark?
Ross: Yeah!
Rachel: Ross, it just wouldnt have been feasible.
Ross: Oh well yeah, actually I was going to talk to her when you guys all came in the room.
Ross: Yes, you can, very much.
Ross: No!!
Ross: What?
Rachel: Ross? Look, whatever this relationship stuff that Emily wants, just give it to her. Come on, the bottom line here is that you love her. So just fix whatever she wants fixed. Just do it. (The phone starts ringing.) I mean, you're gonna have to try. You'll just gonna hate yourself if you don't. (The phone keeps ringing.) Oh come on answer it! It's driving me crazy!
Ross: She, she was different.
Ross: She was...
Ross: What? Okay, okay, okay, okay.
JOEY: Ross, listen. I got two words for you. Threesome.
Ross: WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!!!
Ross: You think?
Ross: Hey, youre right.
Ross: Y'know what, 100 million people went to see a movie about what I do, I wonder how many people would go see a movie called, Jurassic Parka.
Rachel: Whats this? Is this Rosss wedding invitation?
Ross: No, no. The vet says unless he's in a place where he has regular access to some... monkey lovin,' he's just gonna get vicious. I've just gotta get him into a zoo.
[ Scene: The freeway. Rachel is driving Monica's Porsche, while using her mobile phone. Ross is sitting next to her.]
(Ross looks at her, then leaves slamming the door behind him.)
ROSS: Oh right, right.� (They pause and exchange a glance. Then, Ross looks away.)� So, are you . . . ah . . . you excited about your, your first night away from Emma?
Ross: When, when were you... under me?
Ross: Rach, I got a message from you.
Ross: Wha... you're uh, you're, you're over me?
Ross: You're over me?
(Ross and Rachel hug.)
Chandler: (showing her the pictures) Heres a picture of Ross. (Shows another one.) And thats me. (Another one.) And thats me and Ross. (Another one.) Oh-ho, that is a picture of our first kiss as a married couple.
Joey: Your thumb? Thats weird. (Makes a fist.) You sure youre punching right? Make a fist. (Ross just looks at him with his thumb in a cast.) Maybe later. Ross I feel terrible.
Ross: What?!
Ross: You still love me?
Ross: Hello! Can I get you anything? Huh? Lens cleaner? Your battery okay? (Rachel bursts in carrying two boxes and Ross jumps up.) Rachel!
Ross: I got tenure. I didn't win the lottery... Hey Rach, so uh... how did your thing go?
PHOE: OK honey, you're dating Ross.
Mona: Yeah, yknow. Happy holidays from Mona and Ross. Itll be cute, okay?
Ross: Well, maybe the crazy fog has lifted and she realises that life without me.... a-sucks.
Ross: Oh, that's great, that is great! (Hugs and kisses Carol. Then picks up a picture frame)
Monica: (to Ross) I can't believe you did that.
Ross: Yeah, well.
Ross: There are naked ladies there too.
[Scene: The Philly, Ross is dancing with Chloe.]
Ross: Hey guys!
Ross: I sortve already asked Chandler.
Ross: Mon, look at yourself. You have cookie on your neck.
Ross: Yeah that's the same.
Ross: Enough with geography for the insane, okay? Lets play some ball, guys.
Ross: Oh, great! Listen, oh I had to get you a whole new battery. I got you the best one I could, cause thats not where you want to skimp.
Chandler: (to Ross) You be cool. (He opens the door and lets her in as they all turn there backs on her.)
Ross: Great. Great.
Ross: IThey would not let us get married when we were that drunk!
Ross: Here. (Hands her, her cough drops) (to Rachel) At least I made ten bucks in my relationship.
Ross: Every day is Lesbian Lover Day.
Ross: Wow! Yeah!
Ross: Good call!
Ross: Hey listen man, about the stripper
Ross: Hey-hey, what are those?
Rachel: Yeah, I have to tell Ross that I love him. Now honey, you take care, you dont have those babies until I get back. (Kisses her stomach.)
Ross: Okay, see ya later.
Ross: Ohh! That would be great.
Mrs. Bing: (To phone) Okay, thank you. (To Ross) It's the Italian Hand-Licker, isn't it.
ROSS: I got some, uh, hers and hers towels for Susan and Carol. And, uh, I got this blouse for mom.
[Ross enters with several bags from shopping.]
ROSS: [doorbell buzzes] Hello.
Ross: What's goin' on?
Ross: (entering) Hey guys!
Ross: Yeah, right!
Ross: According to Chandler, what phenomenon scares the bejeezus out of him?
Ross: Uh, Rachel, Ive been thinking. I dont think us getting together tonight is such a good idea. Im calling it off.
Rachel: Oh, come on Ross! I think it would be really good for you!
Monica: No! Joey and Ross dont know anything and Chandler still thinks that Phoebes pregnant.
Ross: They make you take an oath?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Ross are eating Chinese.]
Ross: Not on you! On the stripper!
MR. GREENE: Oh hello Ross, where have you been?
Ross: 'Yes', how about. C'mere. Gimme!
Charlie: There's an indoor pool, you can swim there! (Ross agrees)
Ross: That is really nice lying! No way is that the reason!
[Scene: Phoebes Work, Ross is now trying to stop Jasmine from telling Phoebe.]
Ross: No, no you don't understand the animal hospital is way across town he's choking I don't know what else to do.
Ross: Its a legitimate learning technique. (Looking around and seeing the woman behind him glaring at him.) Wow!