words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is siting on the couch as Ross and Chandler enter after playing basketball.]
Ross: (To Chandler) Dude, that reverse lay-up! Oh
Ross: Amazing!
Ross: Oh, you guys call him Cute Coffeehouse Guy, we call him Hums While He Pees.
Chandler: Yes, and we call Ross Lingers In The Bathroom.
Phoebe: He is! But hes getting divorcedRoss! Maybe you know him.
Ross: Its not a club.
Ross: Hey, divorced men are not bad men!
Ross: Soon hell be able to call you, that lady he knew who got fired.
Ross: Maybe I should open a divorced mens club.
Ross: I could put uh-uh a basketball court in the back.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are going over the picture proofs.]
Ross: I like this one. (Points to it.) It seems to say, "I love you and thats why I have to kill you."
Phoebe: Okay, I know. Hold on. (She walks over to the couch.) Hey Ross?
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: What?! No!
Ross: Look, I dont think so Pheebs. (Pause) All right, Ill do it. But just because youre a friend. (Grabs the tickets and heads to divert Whitney.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is dancing around his living room as Phoebe enters, catching and startling him.]
Ross: All right! I want my key back!
Ross: Its right there! (Points to her hand.)
Ross: Look, Im sorry but you-you-you better go Pheebs.
Ross: Oh yeahNoYoure welcome. Well talk about it later.
(Ross opens the door to reveal Whitney standing there.)
Ross: Hi Whitney.
Whitney: Hi Ross! You ready for breakfast?
Ross: Yep. (Phoebe slams the door shut.) Okay.
Phoebe: (To Ross) Kyles ex-wife? You were supposed to divert her not date her!
Ross: (opens the door and to Whitney) Hi! Im sorry, but can you give me a second while I talk to this woman, who by the way did not spend the night.
Ross: Okay. (Closes the door.) (To Phoebe) I did divert her and we ended up having a great time! Okay?
Ross: Yes! Thats where we realized we were both super cool people!
Phoebe: Well look-look, okay Ross, Kyle just told me some really bad stuff about her.
Ross: Like what?
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Fine! Thank you for warning me. At breakfast Ill be on full alert for room painting and sex weapons.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Pheebs come on! I mean, consider the source! Of course her ex-husbands gonna say that stuff. Now, if youll excuse me
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Phoebe are there.]
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Listen, you are hearing one side of the story, okayand F.Y.I she mustve shown Kyle over 30 paint samples before she painted that room! And his response to each one was, "I dont give a tiny rats ass."
Ross: Well, I dont think we are gonna have that problem, but maybe thats just because I am not emotionally unavailable!
Ross: I think he can be.
Ross: Well, excuse her for knowing what she wants to do with her life!
Ross: (angrily) I knew you were gonna throw that in my face!! That was three years ago! She apologized and she apologized! What more do you want?!!
Ross: So do we!! So do we!! (Ross notices a couple has been staring at them.) Im sorry you had to see that.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Phoebe are there again, only now theyre not talking to each other. Phoebe is loudly stirring her coffee.]
Ross: My God!
Ross: Well maybe she wouldnt have to be selfish in bed if someone else knew where everything was!
Ross: Wh-whats up?
Ross: Oh just say it Kyle!
Ross: (To Whitney) Yknow, he hums when he pees!
Ross: It makes him miss the bowl, but whatever.
Ross: Thats all right, we-we dont need you. In fact, hey Im over it already.
Ross: (To Phoebe) Im sorry. Ugh, Pheebs, you were, you were right about her. Yknow, she did try to use sex as a weapon! Yeah, I hurt my back a little.
Ross: Yeah, were better off without them.
Ross: Divorced mens club.
Monica: (laughing with Ross) We don't, we don't wrestle now.
Ross: Oh that's nice.
Ross: Oh. Uhh
Rachel: Well, of course I am! It's not gonna happen to Ross! He's your brother. (To Chandler) He's your old college roommate. Ugh, it was just a matter of time before someone had to leave the group. I just always assumed Phoebe would be the one to go.
Ross: Hi! What's ah, what's Mark doing answering your phone?
Phoebe: Yeah, I definitely. I dont like the name Ross.
Ross: Hey, uh, you can ignore that.
Ross: Oh, no!
Ross: Ok, um, uh, more clothes in the dryer? (Ross turns and bangs his head on an open dryer door.) I'm fine, I'm fine.
Ross: No-no, I got the edge. I know it's not exactly ethical but I sent him a little bribe to
(Ross appears in the hallway just outside of Rachel's office.)
(Phoebe gets up and goes to play, Ross goes over and sits down next to Monica and Rachel.)
Phoebe: Oh, hi Ross!
Ross: What are you doing?
Ross: You chipped in?!
Chandler: We should start with the big stuff. Yknow? That'll be the easiest. Uh, let's start with the couch. (He picks up one end and Ross doesn't help) I got it. (He moves it back to where he thinks it goes.)
Ross: You're welcome for a delicious dinner.
Ross: Y'know what? Uh, Rachel is here! (Rachel stops.)
Ross: How weird is that? Yknow? Youre moving in with me and have the one thing I dont have. Its like uh, in a way you-you complete me (Phoebe glares at him) kitchen.
(Ross turns and glares at Phoebe.)
Ross: The uh, the baby that hasn't been born yet? Wouldn't that mean you're... crazy?
Ross: Monica and Chandler are living together!
Ross: Oh, oh. Of course. God, I'm so stupid. You guys are a couple now. I mean, you probably just want to be alone.
[Scene: Amanda's apartment, Ross is arriving with Ben.]
Ross: (tapping her on the shoulder) Phoebe? Phoebe?
Ross: What?!
Ross: So uh, what did you tell them about me?
Ross: Fine, just stop thinking about me.
Ross: Oh my God, we did it! (he sits beside her and skims through her notes excitedly)
Ross: Heavy thing, not getting lighter!
(Ross puts her on speakerphone.)
Ross: No. (to Rachel) So, um, let's see your pretty close, huh. Make-up's on, hair's done.
Ross: (trying to get her attention) Phoebe?
Chandler: I didn't know Ross and you were so close.
Rachel: (touches his knee) Im pregnant. (Ross stops.) Ross? (Ross is staring off into space.) Ross? (Ross is still frozen) Okay, whenever youre ready. (Sits back and opens her magazine.) And youre the father by the waybut you got that
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Yep! I'd like to thank you guys for coming down here to complain about the rain and ruin my career!
Ross: No, I will not!
Ross: Mona? (Theres no answer, so he starts to leave but remembers where her extra key is. He reaches atop a hall light just outside her door and grabs the key. He looks at in triumph as the pain from it being hot moves along his nervous system to his brain, and when it arrives his brain orders his hand to drop the hot key and his mouth to squeal in pain. After dropping the key he pulls his shirtsleeve over his hand and uses the key to open the door and enter Monas apartment.) Okay, if I were a salmon shirt, where would I be? (He hears a key in the door and as it opens he dives behind the couch.)
Ross: Well w-w-w-w-wait, w-wait, wait, wait a minute! I mean a couple of stupid boxes get wet and she gets a Porsche?!
Ross: (in an Australian accent) You complete me kitchen, matey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are there, Phoebe is entering with her date Robert.]
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Some days it's all I can think about.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: What's that supposed to mean?
Rachel: Ross!
Ross: Rachel, only one of us can do it, you have to choose. You and me together again. (he winks at her and Rachel looks disgusted)
Ross: It doesn't matter! It's my principles! We're talking about my principles!
Rachel: Ross!
Ross: Yeah! Rach?
Phoebe: Ross, I know what youre thinking.
Ross: Then tell him quickly.
(Rachel pushes on the couch and pushes Ross out the door.)
Ross: What?
Rachel: Ross, didn't you say that there was an elevator in here?
Ross: Uhm, I hadn't no you... I had no idea you were so excited about Paris. Uhm, I mean, you said you were scared.
Ross: Yeah, you got it right? You got it right? You got it?
Ross: Oh my God! I-I see what this is! You are in love with Rachel!
Ross: Apparently, Stings son made fun of the fact that Bens moms are lesbinims.
Ross: And while that was good advice, you should know that what-what she wants
CHANDLER: Alright look Ross I'll give you 50 dollars for your underpants.
Rachel: Ross, um, don’t forget to get a shot of Emma’s cake. It’s in a box in the fridge.
Joey: Hey-hey dancer girl! Can I go to the bathroom? I just.. (The girl starts dancing really close to him, so he picks her up, twirls her round, and puts her against a platform) Here we go. (He walks away to find Monica and Ross doing a really out of place dance) Looking good Gellers!
Joey: I know. I know. And shes not only my friend; shes my pregnant friend! Shes my pregnant friend whos Ross ex!
Phoebe: (sarcastically) Okay Ross! (Ross exits and she says quietly to the bike) Please dont die!
ROSS: I can't believe you hated me.
(Ross and Chandler start to read Joey's script aloud.)
[Cut to Ross's apartment. Ross and Rachel are there. It's another scene from 1016 TOW Rachel's Going Away Party.]
Ross: Oh great! What, you brought Joey?
ROSS: Hey, Joey. You wanna open the window?
Chandler: (to Ross): What do you need, what do you need?
Ross: Oh, that's me.
Ross: Turn.
Ross: Turn! Turn!
Ross: Come on, Chandler.
Ross: All right, ready?
(They all turn and glare at Ross.)
Ross: Every week, the TV Guide comes to Chandler and Joeys apartment. What name appears on the address label?
ROSS: Because it's a special hat. [Chandler looks at Ross funny] See he bought it 'cause he was feeling really down one day so he got the hat to cheer himself up, ya know. Now Chandler...
Ross: Y'know what? Just-just follow my lead.
Ross: Are you into crafts at all?
Ross: Okay, you're in bed. She's over on your side, cuddling. Now you wait for her to drift off, and then you hug her (demonstrates on the cushion) and roll her back over to her side of the bed. And then you rollll a-way. Hug for her! Roll for you.
Ross: Well, thats what Im here for. (Emma starts crying again) Want me to get that?
Ross: is for me not to see you anymore.
[Scene: The couch store, Ross is talking to a saleswoman.]
Ross: That's what I'm telling you.
Chandler: (doing a little dance) Hey Ross, look what I've got going here.
Ross: Hey! What's up?
Ross: (thinks) I take it.
Ross: I wanna say it's not looking good.
Ross: Ok, I gotta say. I mean, it means so much to me that you guys are coming all the way over there to hear me do my speech! UH! And I've a surprise, uh... I had to pull some strings but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference! That's right! (he gives them their passes) This babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars.
ROSS: OK, now I'm nervous.
Ross: Sorry. (To remedy that, Ross scoops the cinnamon off of the top with his hand.)
Ross: Sometimes, you should come over (Joey returns from the bathroom) sometime! Ill play you one of my other
Ross: You got it! (Monica leaves, Ross closes the door). All right, she's right, we gotta get serious. (He grabs a bag of styrofoam peanuts) Let's put styrofoam peanuts down his pants and kick him!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is watching Joey read Little Women, Ross is also there.]
Ross: Hey Joey! Great stuff huh?
Ross: Wheres my ring? My dead grandmothers wedding ring? Where is it? Where is it?
ROSS: Shouldn't the pizza be here by now?� I mean, they said thirty minutes or less.� Well, how long has it been?