words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is siting on the couch as Ross and Chandler enter after playing basketball.]
Ross: (To Chandler) Dude, that reverse lay-up! Oh
Ross: Amazing!
Ross: Oh, you guys call him Cute Coffeehouse Guy, we call him Hums While He Pees.
Chandler: Yes, and we call Ross Lingers In The Bathroom.
Phoebe: He is! But hes getting divorcedRoss! Maybe you know him.
Ross: Its not a club.
Ross: Hey, divorced men are not bad men!
Ross: Soon hell be able to call you, that lady he knew who got fired.
Ross: Maybe I should open a divorced mens club.
Ross: I could put uh-uh a basketball court in the back.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are going over the picture proofs.]
Ross: I like this one. (Points to it.) It seems to say, "I love you and thats why I have to kill you."
Phoebe: Okay, I know. Hold on. (She walks over to the couch.) Hey Ross?
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: What?! No!
Ross: Look, I dont think so Pheebs. (Pause) All right, Ill do it. But just because youre a friend. (Grabs the tickets and heads to divert Whitney.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is dancing around his living room as Phoebe enters, catching and startling him.]
Ross: All right! I want my key back!
Ross: Its right there! (Points to her hand.)
Ross: Look, Im sorry but you-you-you better go Pheebs.
Ross: Oh yeahNoYoure welcome. Well talk about it later.
(Ross opens the door to reveal Whitney standing there.)
Ross: Hi Whitney.
Whitney: Hi Ross! You ready for breakfast?
Ross: Yep. (Phoebe slams the door shut.) Okay.
Phoebe: (To Ross) Kyles ex-wife? You were supposed to divert her not date her!
Ross: (opens the door and to Whitney) Hi! Im sorry, but can you give me a second while I talk to this woman, who by the way did not spend the night.
Ross: Okay. (Closes the door.) (To Phoebe) I did divert her and we ended up having a great time! Okay?
Ross: Yes! Thats where we realized we were both super cool people!
Phoebe: Well look-look, okay Ross, Kyle just told me some really bad stuff about her.
Ross: Like what?
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Fine! Thank you for warning me. At breakfast Ill be on full alert for room painting and sex weapons.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Pheebs come on! I mean, consider the source! Of course her ex-husbands gonna say that stuff. Now, if youll excuse me
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Phoebe are there.]
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Listen, you are hearing one side of the story, okayand F.Y.I she mustve shown Kyle over 30 paint samples before she painted that room! And his response to each one was, "I dont give a tiny rats ass."
Ross: Well, I dont think we are gonna have that problem, but maybe thats just because I am not emotionally unavailable!
Ross: I think he can be.
Ross: Well, excuse her for knowing what she wants to do with her life!
Ross: (angrily) I knew you were gonna throw that in my face!! That was three years ago! She apologized and she apologized! What more do you want?!!
Ross: So do we!! So do we!! (Ross notices a couple has been staring at them.) Im sorry you had to see that.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Phoebe are there again, only now theyre not talking to each other. Phoebe is loudly stirring her coffee.]
Ross: My God!
Ross: Well maybe she wouldnt have to be selfish in bed if someone else knew where everything was!
Ross: Wh-whats up?
Ross: Oh just say it Kyle!
Ross: (To Whitney) Yknow, he hums when he pees!
Ross: It makes him miss the bowl, but whatever.
Ross: Thats all right, we-we dont need you. In fact, hey Im over it already.
Ross: (To Phoebe) Im sorry. Ugh, Pheebs, you were, you were right about her. Yknow, she did try to use sex as a weapon! Yeah, I hurt my back a little.
Ross: Yeah, were better off without them.
Ross: Divorced mens club.
Ross: Correct, his profession was?
Chandler and Ross: Woooo!!!
ROSS: Joey, what did you think a nubbin was?
Ross: Dude, we are sooo gonna party!
Ross: No, it's not a divorce, it is not a divorce! Anyway, I think Rachel and I need to, you know, get on with our lives, maybe, maybe start seeing other people.
Phoebe: Uh-huh! Ross invited us all to watch.
Ross: What happened?
Chandler and Ross: Whoa-whoa-whoa!
Ross: I mean look, that-that one night we had was fun and and certainly passionate, but dont you think its better if we just stayed friends?
Ross: OK, fine, well I'm not gonna watch, alright.
Ross: Joey, had an imaginary childhood friend. His name was?
Ross: So, do you get colours or just French tips?
[Scene: Central Perk close to closing. Ross and Julie are still there. Rachel is cleaning tables.]
Ross: If like the four of us could all yknow, hang out together. Uh, in fact Emilys coming into town this weekend, why dont you say we all have dinner? Say, Sunday night?
ROSS: Good, good, good. So, is uh, was your moustache, did, used to be different?
Ross: It's morphin time!
RACH: Oh, well, that's, that's mighty big of you, Ross. [to the others] I said don't go!
Ross: If only he were a woman.
Ross: This is perfect! She'll have to come back here with your pizza, and when she does, I'll turn on the Charm-O-Ross. Oh I'm so glad you don't eat meat.
Ross: Sorry! Sorry! Oh, (He sticks it under his shirt) there! (It's just there flashing through his shirt) Hey Gary, who am I? Phone home!
Ross: I cant believe he didnt come!
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Yeah!!
Ross: Theres other stuff too.
Ross: Its not like we dont know how to party!!
Joey and Ross: Yeah!!!
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Dad, before I was born, did you freak out at all?
Ross: Okay, (to Chandler) this play, I want you to do a down and out to the right. Okay. Break!
Ross: Okay.
Chandler and Ross: Yeah.
Chandler and Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Yeah, me too.
Ross: Oh, guys, this is fun, isn't it? You know? Just the four of us. Just hangin'.
Joey and Ross: Yeah!
Chandler and Ross: Yeah!
Ross: How sad are we?
[Scene: Central Perk, its the same scene from the end of last weeks show. Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch as Ross enters.]
(Ross stops the clock, signifying the end of the lightning round.)
Ross: Oh, yeah, well y'know Chandler printed it up on his computer.
Ross: Monica and I have a grandmother who died, you both went to her funeral, name that grandmother!
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Look Im sorry Pheebs, I cant do it.
ROSS: Well, I am going to, uh... get a beverage. It was nice, nice... uh... meeting you.
Rachel: (interrupting him) No-no-no-no-no Ross! Please, come on we do not have any of the big stuff we need! We do not a changing table! We do not have a crib! We do not have a diaper service!
[cut to later, in Rosss huddle.]
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross and Susan are trying to get out.]
ROSS: You know what? You know what? If, things were the other way around, there's nothing you could put on a list that would ever make me not want to be with you.
Carol: (looking through the peephole) Ugh. (opening the door) Ross!
Rachel: Oh, please, Ross it was so obvious! It was like you were marking your territory. I mean you might have well have just come in and peed all around my desk!
Julie: Well, Ross and I were in grad school together.
RACHEL: Oh that's so cute:� Ross and Mike's first date.� Is that going to be awkward?� I mean, what are you guys going to talk about?
[Scene: Museum of Natural History. Ross enters the display where Rachel is waiting.]
[Ross runs to Rachel's bedroom, knocking on the door.]
Ross: Pheebs you uh you do know how to ride a bike dont you?
Ross: Oh! Well then this is awkward. So what do you uh
Joey: Its between us and the sea, Ross!
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Pheebs, come on, you didnt kill anybody, these people just happened to die when you went to the dentist. Its, its, its just ah, a coincidence.
Ross: Im sweeping...
Ross: Hey! Howd the ah, basketball go?
Ross: (to Emily) Hey, could you do me a favour? Could you just grab me a bottle of water?
(For the first time we see that the woman Ross is talking too is in fact the hot girl that Joey is looking for. She just kinda stares at him.)
Ross: Nothing, its just that hypnosis is beyond crap.
Ross: I wasnt sleeping.
Ross: There is no way I am letting you drive this car! So why dont you just hand over the keys?
Ross: Why? Why? I know it's a little weird, but hey, he's a great doctor, okay? He knows my medical history, and every time I go in there, he makes a big deal. 'Ah look, it's my favorite patient!'
Ross: Yknow, youre right. Thank you.
Rachel: No. Ross, it, it just seems that y'know its time we-we y'know, move on. I mean, I mean dont you think?
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is closing. Ross walks in in a uniform.]
Ross: All right, Ill see you tonight.
Ross: Catch any big fish? (Phoebe, Ross, and Monica all go over to him.)
ROSS: (on phone) Yeah, yeah, everybody's here. Hey, everybody, say hi to Julie in New Mexico.
Ross: What?
Ross: Oh, now, don't listen to him, Pheebs, I think it's endearing.
Ross: Listen, listen. Whoever you pick is gonna walk down the aisle with you! Now, I promise I won't say a word, but if you pick Chandler he's gonna be whispering stupid jokes in your ear the whole time!
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on! This is not, this is not a marriage!! This is the worlds worst hangover! Ross, listen, if you do not get this annulment, I will!
Ross: What?
Ross: (to himself) Good for a scrud.
Ross: My God!
Joey: All right, okay, now, we just have to make sure she doesnt find out some other way. (spins the chair around so that Ross is facing him) Did you think about the trail?
Ross: Im-Im not kidding. Look I-I, I cant have three failed marriages. I cant. Okay? I-I am not gonna be that guy!
Ross: (moved by the kiss) Huh...
ROSS: Look, that has nothing to do with this, ok? She's my ex-wife. If she were marrying a guy, none of you'd expect me to be there.
Ross: (getting up) Tell me about it. (He sits up on the edge of the bed and has "Just Married" written on his back.)
Ross: Hey! (Listens.) Yeah-yeah, we're just having dinner. (Listens.) Uh, yeah, sure uh hold on. (To the gang.) She wants to say hi. (To Emily) Hold on.
Ross: Okay. (Ross starts frantically looking for a clock.)
Ross: No-no, I-I have to see if this apartment became available.
Ross: Hey-hey, I thought she told you to follow the recipe exactly!
[The next one is from Episode 507: The One Where Ross Moves In.]
Phoebe: (On the phone, in New York) Uh, hello, this is Ross Gellers personal physician, Dr. Philange.
Ross: Well lets just say (singing) Rosss caaaaan!
(Ross takes big steps leaving for Joey and Rachel's apartment, where Rachel is going through her papers.)
Ross: Thats okay, Im cool over here. Ill catch up with you later, Joey. (Joey is shocked.)
Ross: Rach, thanks but uh, I don't need you doing me any favors.
Ross: That that's ridiculous! I don't feel guilty for her failures!
Ross: Yeah, I'd probably enjoy it more if you didn't keep batting my hand away.
Ross: Oh, oh, I'm, I'm, I'm sorry sweetie, I was just trying to ah, I'm dialing another number. (hangs up)
Ross: Oh-oh, youre-youre fellow scholars. What exactly were you looking for, hmm? Perhaps, (Grabs a book from the shelf behind him) perhaps Dr. Chester Stocks musings on the Smiledon Californicus?
ROSS: It's the only possibility, Phoebe.