words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is siting on the couch as Ross and Chandler enter after playing basketball.]
Ross: (To Chandler) Dude, that reverse lay-up! Oh
Ross: Amazing!
Ross: Oh, you guys call him Cute Coffeehouse Guy, we call him Hums While He Pees.
Chandler: Yes, and we call Ross Lingers In The Bathroom.
Phoebe: He is! But hes getting divorcedRoss! Maybe you know him.
Ross: Its not a club.
Ross: Hey, divorced men are not bad men!
Ross: Soon hell be able to call you, that lady he knew who got fired.
Ross: Maybe I should open a divorced mens club.
Ross: I could put uh-uh a basketball court in the back.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are going over the picture proofs.]
Ross: I like this one. (Points to it.) It seems to say, "I love you and thats why I have to kill you."
Phoebe: Okay, I know. Hold on. (She walks over to the couch.) Hey Ross?
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: What?! No!
Ross: Look, I dont think so Pheebs. (Pause) All right, Ill do it. But just because youre a friend. (Grabs the tickets and heads to divert Whitney.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is dancing around his living room as Phoebe enters, catching and startling him.]
Ross: All right! I want my key back!
Ross: Its right there! (Points to her hand.)
Ross: Look, Im sorry but you-you-you better go Pheebs.
Ross: Oh yeahNoYoure welcome. Well talk about it later.
(Ross opens the door to reveal Whitney standing there.)
Ross: Hi Whitney.
Whitney: Hi Ross! You ready for breakfast?
Ross: Yep. (Phoebe slams the door shut.) Okay.
Phoebe: (To Ross) Kyles ex-wife? You were supposed to divert her not date her!
Ross: (opens the door and to Whitney) Hi! Im sorry, but can you give me a second while I talk to this woman, who by the way did not spend the night.
Ross: Okay. (Closes the door.) (To Phoebe) I did divert her and we ended up having a great time! Okay?
Ross: Yes! Thats where we realized we were both super cool people!
Phoebe: Well look-look, okay Ross, Kyle just told me some really bad stuff about her.
Ross: Like what?
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Fine! Thank you for warning me. At breakfast Ill be on full alert for room painting and sex weapons.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Pheebs come on! I mean, consider the source! Of course her ex-husbands gonna say that stuff. Now, if youll excuse me
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Phoebe are there.]
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Listen, you are hearing one side of the story, okayand F.Y.I she mustve shown Kyle over 30 paint samples before she painted that room! And his response to each one was, "I dont give a tiny rats ass."
Ross: Well, I dont think we are gonna have that problem, but maybe thats just because I am not emotionally unavailable!
Ross: I think he can be.
Ross: Well, excuse her for knowing what she wants to do with her life!
Ross: (angrily) I knew you were gonna throw that in my face!! That was three years ago! She apologized and she apologized! What more do you want?!!
Ross: So do we!! So do we!! (Ross notices a couple has been staring at them.) Im sorry you had to see that.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Phoebe are there again, only now theyre not talking to each other. Phoebe is loudly stirring her coffee.]
Ross: My God!
Ross: Well maybe she wouldnt have to be selfish in bed if someone else knew where everything was!
Ross: Wh-whats up?
Ross: Oh just say it Kyle!
Ross: (To Whitney) Yknow, he hums when he pees!
Ross: It makes him miss the bowl, but whatever.
Ross: Thats all right, we-we dont need you. In fact, hey Im over it already.
Ross: (To Phoebe) Im sorry. Ugh, Pheebs, you were, you were right about her. Yknow, she did try to use sex as a weapon! Yeah, I hurt my back a little.
Ross: Yeah, were better off without them.
Ross: Divorced mens club.
Ross: Okay, that's, that's enough. (retreats to the bathroom)
[Scene: Joey's Apartment, Joey is reading a script as Ross and Chandler enter carrying a basketball.]
Ross: Yeah, but it didnt fit. Well, luckily theres a store here that has one left in her size, but Im the groom, Im not supposed to see the dress
Ross: (entering) Hey guys!
Ross: Thank you.
Ross: Whats wah-pah?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are talking.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Hey, do uh, do you have a minute?
ROSS: Uh, excuse me, uh, where can we find the monkey?
Ross: Oh, no, I didnt mean, uh
Ross: Oh. Yeah?
Ross: Right that's why I came over to talk about. Hum...I saw Rachel kissing some guy on your balcony,even though there were NO LIGHTS !
Ross: Uh-huh.
Ross: Wow, thats-thats-thats incredible.
Ross: Hey, yknow, yknow what would make me really happy?
Phoebe: So you do know who he is! (laughs, Ross stares at her) Sorry.
RACH: Why didn't he call? He's gonna stay with Julie, isn't he? He's gonna stay with her and she's going to be all, "Hi, I'm Julie, Ross picked me, and we're gonna to get married, have a lot of kids and dig up stuff together."
Ross: Marcel? Marcel? Okay, where is he? Where is he? Marcel? Marcel?
ROSS: It's just, it's, it's me. You, you know I've only been with one woman my whole life and she turned out to be a lesbian. So now I've got myself all psyched out, you know, and it's become, like this, this thing and I. . . Well, you just must think I'm weird.
JOEY: [opens the drapes] Hey, Ross! What are you doin'?
Ross: Hey man.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Chandler and Monica are sitting on the couch. Phoebe and Mike enters.]
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Yep!
Joey: Well Ross, it seems pretty clear. I mean whats more important? What people think or how you feel, huh? Ross, you gotta follow your heart.
Ross: Oh, just this woman that I met last night at the party.
Ross: Thats a good point. So uh, how long are you gonna punish him?
Ross: Really?! We are?
Ross: You know, I really don't want to get involved in you guy's relationship.
ROSS: Great, great, and I miss that too, I miss everything.
Ross: Oh yeah! Then how come you didnt get the Geller Cup?
Ross: No, I ran. It was really far, and when did people stop understanding the phrase, "Get the hell out of my way!"
Ross: Awwwahuh, no, no, no!!
Rachel: (getting of the elevator and noticing Ross) Hey!
Ross: Oh, thats not true! Ive got her lots of stuff she never took back.
Rachel: Well! Good night. (to Ross) Im going upstairs.
[Scene: The Freeman Building, Ross is entering his new class completely out of breath.]
Ross: How could you not get it? You were Santa last year.
ROSS: No, Rach, come on. Rach! Rach, no, no! She's not Rachel, she is, she is not, Ra--Rachel?
Rachel: But Ross, its you and me!
Ross: Oh, I don't know, they seem to have a shared interest in each other's tonsils...
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: Oh God... Okay. Alright. Alright. Okay. Ross, please don't hate me.
Ross: What happened?
Ross: Come here.
Ross: Noo. Why?
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: You okay?
Ross: Oh, Rachel, Im-Im sorry.
Ross: Women tell each other everything. Did you know that?
ROSS: You're livin' the dream.
Ross: Yowzah!!!
ROSS: (using calculator) Plus tip, divided by six. Ok, everyone owes 28 bucks.
Ross: Are you kidding? Okay, look. I-I studied evolution. Remember, evolution? Monkey into man? Plus, Im a doctor, and I had a monkey. Im Doctor Monkey!
Ross: It's, it's, it's, uh, a totally diferent situation! It's, it's apples and oranges, it's, it's orthodontists and lesbi- I gotta go.
Ross: No, no, we will. We just wont tell her she messed up.
Ross: I just wanted to thank you again for last night, what a great party! And the guys from work had a blast. Yknow, one of them had never been to a bachelor party before. Yeah! And-and another one had never been to a party before, so
Ross: Ouchy.
Chandler: No, it's... fancier than a pimple. Look Ross, why don't you just go see a
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Sure. Why not?
Ross: Yeah sure.
ROSS: So do you have like any nuclear weapons on board?
(The unvoiced hissing continues. In alarm, Ross and Chandler look at the monkey, who is now in some distress.)
Ross: Hi.
Ross: It'll be nice to get this off finally, won't it? Yes it will. (Marcel resists) Or we can leave it on for now, that's fine.
[Ross and Rachel hug.]
Ross: I do.
Ross: Yes, yes, that's right...
Rachel: Ohhh!!!! [looking at something behind Ross]
Ross: What? [the cat jumps on his shoulders] Ow!
Emily: Ohh, Ross, please!
Ross: Wait a minute, is it because Joey and I didnt invite him to that Knicks game a couple of weeks ago?
Rachel: (to Ross) Yes! Did you see that?
Ross: Come on you guys, we're sorry, alri...? Our subway broke down.
Ross: Good.
Rachel: Umm, okay, I think I'm-I'm just gonna-just gonna say it. Just gonna say it. Uhh, (pause) I'm still in love with you Ross.
Ross: People are doing it in front of my book!
Ross: Fine.
Rachel: Good. (Ross leaves)
Phoebe: Okay, scarfs done. (Its not really a scarf, its just a bunch of yarn that Phoebe has tied together. Just then, Ross and Emily enter dragging with them Joey and Chandler.)
Ross: Okay, its not, its not.
Ross: (yelling, thinking Emily can hear him through the answering machine all the way to New York.) I love you too! Im, Im gonna call you right now from the phone booth! (Realises) You cant hear me. (Goes to make his call.)
[Rachel and Ross go out in the hall]
Ross: Is this about Mark?
Ross: Yeah!
Rachel: Ross, it just wouldnt have been feasible.
Ross: Oh well yeah, actually I was going to talk to her when you guys all came in the room.
Ross: Yes, you can, very much.
Ross: No!!
Ross: What?
Rachel: Ross? Look, whatever this relationship stuff that Emily wants, just give it to her. Come on, the bottom line here is that you love her. So just fix whatever she wants fixed. Just do it. (The phone starts ringing.) I mean, you're gonna have to try. You'll just gonna hate yourself if you don't. (The phone keeps ringing.) Oh come on answer it! It's driving me crazy!
Ross: She, she was different.
Ross: She was...
Ross: What? Okay, okay, okay, okay.