words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is siting on the couch as Ross and Chandler enter after playing basketball.]
Ross: (To Chandler) Dude, that reverse lay-up! Oh
Ross: Amazing!
Ross: Oh, you guys call him Cute Coffeehouse Guy, we call him Hums While He Pees.
Chandler: Yes, and we call Ross Lingers In The Bathroom.
Phoebe: He is! But hes getting divorcedRoss! Maybe you know him.
Ross: Its not a club.
Ross: Hey, divorced men are not bad men!
Ross: Soon hell be able to call you, that lady he knew who got fired.
Ross: Maybe I should open a divorced mens club.
Ross: I could put uh-uh a basketball court in the back.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are going over the picture proofs.]
Ross: I like this one. (Points to it.) It seems to say, "I love you and thats why I have to kill you."
Phoebe: Okay, I know. Hold on. (She walks over to the couch.) Hey Ross?
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: What?! No!
Ross: Look, I dont think so Pheebs. (Pause) All right, Ill do it. But just because youre a friend. (Grabs the tickets and heads to divert Whitney.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is dancing around his living room as Phoebe enters, catching and startling him.]
Ross: All right! I want my key back!
Ross: Its right there! (Points to her hand.)
Ross: Look, Im sorry but you-you-you better go Pheebs.
Ross: Oh yeahNoYoure welcome. Well talk about it later.
(Ross opens the door to reveal Whitney standing there.)
Ross: Hi Whitney.
Whitney: Hi Ross! You ready for breakfast?
Ross: Yep. (Phoebe slams the door shut.) Okay.
Phoebe: (To Ross) Kyles ex-wife? You were supposed to divert her not date her!
Ross: (opens the door and to Whitney) Hi! Im sorry, but can you give me a second while I talk to this woman, who by the way did not spend the night.
Ross: Okay. (Closes the door.) (To Phoebe) I did divert her and we ended up having a great time! Okay?
Ross: Yes! Thats where we realized we were both super cool people!
Phoebe: Well look-look, okay Ross, Kyle just told me some really bad stuff about her.
Ross: Like what?
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Fine! Thank you for warning me. At breakfast Ill be on full alert for room painting and sex weapons.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Pheebs come on! I mean, consider the source! Of course her ex-husbands gonna say that stuff. Now, if youll excuse me
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Phoebe are there.]
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Listen, you are hearing one side of the story, okayand F.Y.I she mustve shown Kyle over 30 paint samples before she painted that room! And his response to each one was, "I dont give a tiny rats ass."
Ross: Well, I dont think we are gonna have that problem, but maybe thats just because I am not emotionally unavailable!
Ross: I think he can be.
Ross: Well, excuse her for knowing what she wants to do with her life!
Ross: (angrily) I knew you were gonna throw that in my face!! That was three years ago! She apologized and she apologized! What more do you want?!!
Ross: So do we!! So do we!! (Ross notices a couple has been staring at them.) Im sorry you had to see that.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Phoebe are there again, only now theyre not talking to each other. Phoebe is loudly stirring her coffee.]
Ross: My God!
Ross: Well maybe she wouldnt have to be selfish in bed if someone else knew where everything was!
Ross: Wh-whats up?
Ross: Oh just say it Kyle!
Ross: (To Whitney) Yknow, he hums when he pees!
Ross: It makes him miss the bowl, but whatever.
Ross: Thats all right, we-we dont need you. In fact, hey Im over it already.
Ross: (To Phoebe) Im sorry. Ugh, Pheebs, you were, you were right about her. Yknow, she did try to use sex as a weapon! Yeah, I hurt my back a little.
Ross: Yeah, were better off without them.
Ross: Divorced mens club.
Ross: No Rach! Come on! No-no! Yeah, Im sure we wont get arrested for this.
Ross: Hey, would it be okay if I wrote a song about this.
Ross: Joey, I figured youd understand. I mean, I-Ive known him a lot longer.
Ross: Marcel! Marcel! Marcel, no! Good boy. See, how can nobody want him?
Ross: (smiling to himself) Good. I'm just getting some coffee. So I'm alert for the wedding.
Rachel: What? What? Ross, you're scaring me. What's going on?
Ross: Yeah, I'm a friend of Rachel Green's. Uhm, actually we met at the Christmas party about two years ago.
Ross: They don't like it when you keep asking them if they like you.
Ross: No, it's not just that. It's justI want someone who... who does something for me, y'know? Who gets my heart pounding, who... who makes me, uh... (begins to stare lovingly at Rachel)
Ross: What, are we keeping Thanksgiving a secret this year?
Ross: Pass it! Pass it!
Rachel: You know, Ross, just keep making your jokes. How are you gonna feel if we actually do win?
Ross: Okay, I got us a court date for tomorrow at 2:00 and I picked up all the forms. Ill take care of everything.
Ross: They dont look any bigger than me!
Joey: Chandler, I can't be playing games, Ross is gonna be home soon. And I have to write five whole pages if I'm gonna stick to his schedule.
[Scene, Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are pouring wine for their parents.]
Ross: It was my first time.
Ross: Well, I was with Carol for like eight years and I lost her. And now if it's possible I think I love you even more. So, it's hard for me to believe that I'm not gonna, well that someone else is not going to take you away.
Joey: Oh my God! Thats huge! (Hugs him.) Wait a minute, why come I wasnt invited? And who was going to be your best man? Dont say, "Ross." Do not say, "Ross."
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross has told Chandler and Joey his terrible act.]
Monica: What?! Ross y'know this isnt even about you! I mean this is about Rachel and something wonderful happening for her. I mean you know even if youre right, what if he wants to sleep with her, does it mean he gets too?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting at the couch. Ross is sitting at the table and answers the phone.]
Ross: Oh, Im actually on my way to tell her right now. Yeah, shes been away all week visiting her parents, but shell be cool. I mean, shes been so supportive. She-she even got the baby a tiny T-shirt that says, Fossils are my friends.
Ross: Is that what they say on the Figure Skating Team?
Ross: Where exactly is your zoo?
Ross: ...Now that was fun.
Chandler: Ross! Its got your wavy black lines!
Ross: Green. To the green.
ROSS: That commercial always makes me so sad.
Ross: (squeezing past people) Sorry, sorry... Uh-oh.
Ross: (pulls Monica back) ...and I really think it should be me.
Ross: Tony?
Ross: Well then wed be in a lot of trouble, you dont know where any countries are. (Rachel glares at him.) Okay. (He goes over to the desk followed by Rachel.) Uh, say would you umm Would you mind checking again to see if any umm, private rooms may have (Handing her some money) opened up?
Rachel: Okay well Ross! Stop it please! Wait a minute! (Motions for him to follow her lead, but he angrily shakes his head no. So she pokes him.)
PHOEBE: I'm so sorry honey, but, okay, Rachel gave this guy her number and, um, she doesn't want Ross to answer the phone.� So, you have to intercept all his calls.
Ross: Yes.
Ross: Oh, no! The MET! The Metropolitan Museum of Art.
Ross: (reading off his card) "A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet." -- How did you know?
Ross: (choked voice) That'd be good...
Ross: Me. Was that not clear? Hey, why don't, um, why don't I just join you both, here?
Ross: (annoyed) O-kay... I mean, don't I deserve anything? I mean, a few tears, a cursory hug? (Joey gives Ross a hug) NOT FROM YOU! (Joey lets go)
Ross: (sheepish) No.
Ross: I didnt give her that ring!
Ross: Nuh-uh.
Ross: No-no-no! Only if I promise never to see Rachel again.
Ross: A thumb?!
Ross: Well I, I don't know. Why?
Ross: So what're you saying here? I should shave again, pick up some wine, what?
Ross: Then dont. Stay here. Just dont go so soon to London, just one more day.
Ross: So?
Rachel: Ross, I am trying to help her become a better person. This is a huge breakthrough for her! She just offered to do something for another human being!!
Ross: Was your basket on top?
(Ross arrives.)
Ross: Dude, it's just "Days of Our Lives"... there's no the.
Ross: Rach, have you never done this before?
Ross: If you don't believe me, let's go talk to him, okay? I'm telling you, he didn't ask me one paleontological question.
Ross: Why- why- why would he need a blade?
Ross: Oh, 's'funny, really? Um, I don't remember you making any sperm.
[The Gellers stare at Ross. Ross looks at his parents with an afraid, shocked look.]
Rachel: Ross, what's the matter?
Ross: (noticing a beautiful woman moving in down the street) Well hello! Shes cute! Should we uh, go try to talk to her?
Joey: (entering) Oh uh, hey Pheebs. Uh yknow what? Ill-Ill come back later. (He goes to leave but runs into Ross whos entering.)
Ross: The point is I... I don't need this right now, OK. It, it's too late, I'm with somebody else, I'm happy. This ship has sailed.
Ross: Phoebe, are you, are you mad at me, or something? 'Cause if are please, tell me what it is I did!
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is closing up and Ross comes in. Get your Kleenex.]
Rachel: (to Ross) Yes! Did you see that?
Ross: (coming back in with Rachel) Hey, you guys! What do you, what do you think about making that beach trip an annual thing?
Ross: No.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: What a beautiful story. Hey, I'm fine by the way.
Ross: He's in! Oh, did you hear that, Marcel? San Diego. San Diego!
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross is getting coffee at the counter. Chandler walks in.]
Ross: What?
Ross: Okay, flight 421 to Paris. I don't see it, do you see it?
Will: Me and Ross. (Points at Ross.)
Rachel: Even so, I think I'm gonna pick Ross.
Rachel: I think shes checking out your beehive Ross.
Ross: C'mon! C'mon!
Rachel: Whoa, wait, listen, I think Im just gonna talk to Ross about what he think it meant.
Paul: Ross, look, I know Ive been giving you a lot of jabs and its partly because Im very protective of Lizzie, and partly because well, they just keep coming to me. But I have to admit that after all the wonderful things that Lizzie has told me and the many, many, (pause) many stories that Rachel has told me that, well (pause) youre not (pause) all bad.
[Joey and Ross make confused faces.]
Ross: Must pee. (Goes to pee.)
Rachel: I didnt have to, because I was wearing my I heart Ross sandwich board and ringing my bell.
Ross: I can't believe that didn't work!
Ross: (in a deep voice) I'll have whatever Christine is having.
Phoebe: Rach, look! (she holds two buns up to her ears to make her hair look like the Princess Leia 'do.) Oh, hi! Where is my strong Ross Skywalker to come rescue me. (Ross stands up horrified) There he is.
[Scene: The Porsche, cars are whizzing by and honking their horns on both sides very quickly as Ross creeps along.]
Ross: I've no idea, could be. Listen, I'm sorry I had to work tonight.
Ross: Well ah, Aunt Silvia was, well not a nice person.
Ross: Okay, okay, we were on the ride along with Gary, right?
Ross: Yeah. Do that for another two hours, you might be where I am right about now. (He enters.)
Ross: Monica? You're Mom.
Ross: Of course not, I'm... suggesting Geller-Willick-Bunch.
Ross: You're right, you're right, it is...So you gonna invite us all to the big opening?
Ross: Actually, do you guys mind staying here for a while?
Carol: Ross, you remember Susan.
(After she's left, Ross gets really happy and starts kissing the card. Suddenly, she returns.)
Ross: Over here. (You can see Ross sitting at the far wall.)
Rachel: Well, Ross, we were worried about you. We didn't know how you were going to react.