words in movies
Ross: Y'know if we ever go to war and youre captured, youre in for a big surprise.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Monica are sitting on the couch playing cards, and Phoebe is working on a new song.]
Ross: Oh, you could just go uh, "greatest of ease (plays air guitar) BAH-bah-bha-bhannn." Then go right into it.
Ross: Well umm, yknow, I used to play.
Ross: Yeah, just a little in high school, but then I really got into it in college. I mean thats-thats when I really found my sound.
(Monica is taking a drink as Ross says that, laughs, and snorts her drink.)
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Really? No. I mean, nah, I havent played in so long, and-and, well its-its really personal stuff, yknow?
Ross: No, you guys, I mean my keyboards are all the way up inNo, yeah, okay. (Runs out.)
[Cut to later that same day, Ross has retrieved his keyboard and is about to debut, "The Sound."]
Ross: Okay, guys.
Ross: Here we go. (Plays one note) Yknow, Ive-Ive never played my stuff for anyone before, so its important that-that you understand its about communicating very private emotions. (Plays another note) Yknow, umm, you should-you should think of umm, my work as wordless sound poems. Thats what Im
(Ross starts to play. He plays a key that has a back beat sound attached to it. Over the background music he plays the sound of a barking dog, a mooing cow, a laser beam, someone coughing, a jackhammer, a doorbell, a police siren, a ray gun, breaking dishes, and for a closer he plays the sound of a loud crash. Basically, the music sucks.)
Ross: Really?! I mean, really?!!
Ross: Wow! Thanks, you guys. Thats uhohhh, I wanna, I wanna play you another piece! Umm! Uh-oh! I left my uh, helicopter sounds on another disk. Ill be right back! Okay? (Runs to fetch them) This is so nice, ImI am so (starts to break up and leaves)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is performing, his music hasnt improved.]
Ross: (His voice is altered to sound like a computer.) Electrifying. (He plays the sound of a ticking clock.) Emphatic time-time-time
[cut back to Ross who finally finishes his so-called song with the same crash from before. He gets some applause, mainly cause hes done.]
Ross: (with the altered voice) Thank you guys-guys-guys
Phoebe: I cant follow Ross! Itd be like those bicycle ridding chimps that followed The Beetles. No.
Monica: Phoebe, Ross sucks!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross has just finished playing.]
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey!
Ross: Oh, thanks, thanks. So Monica tells me that uh, you dont want to play anymore because me and y'know my talent. Is that true?
Ross: Pheebs
Ross: See but, Pheebs that-that is the exact opposite intent of my music. Yknow my music is-is meant to inspire, and if it bothers you this much, then I I wont play anymore.
Ross: Yeah, okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Monica are sitting on the couch and Phoebe is getting coffee as Chandler enters. Ross is also there.]
Ross: Hey Chandler! Saw the new furniture. Very nice.
Ross: What?
Ross: No the-the sad thing is, if you had told him how you felt before you kissed her, knowing Joey, he probably just wouldve just stepped aside.
Ross: Well, I said-I said something to Phoebe.
Ross: Hey, would it be okay if I wrote a song about this.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is playing his music. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
(Ross finally finishes with the same crash, and gets some applause.)
Ross: Thank you, thanks. (Sits down next to the girls) Yeah, I lost it. Yknow, Im not gonna play anymore, (to Phoebe) would you, can you finish my set?
(Phoebe gets up and goes to play, Ross goes over and sits down next to Monica and Rachel.)
Ross: Yeah, like I could lose it.
Ross: I played bad on purpose guys.
Ross: Yeahno, just that last song.
Ross: Thats right! Thats right, dont you play a woman?
Ross: How hot do I look in this, huh?!
Ross: Well remember that paper I had published last year on sediment flow rate, huh? They loved it.
Ross: Joey, Homo Sapiens are people.
Ross: Professor Neuman, the head of the department, so .
Ross: Much better.
Rachel: Uh-huh. I know. It was just, it was just the perfect way to say goodbye. (She hugs him, and Ross looks crushed.)
Joey: So yknow Ross its funny cause, you look familiar to me too. Have you ever been married?
Rachel: Ill be right there! (to Ross) Okay, Ross, please come on! I thought we have moved on! I thought weve gotten to a place where we could be happy for each other! I mean was that just me?
Ross: Well yes, yes I have. In fact umm, just the other day Kristen and I were talking about how Ive been married and how I have a son.
Rachel: Ross! Phoebes gonna be here any second, she cannot see this!
Ross: (giddy) I dont know, but-but look how shiny!
Ross: Well I have to. Okay? If I dont, theyll take the class away from me. And I already put it in my family newsletter.
Ross: No-no-no! Its mine! Its-its mine. (The woman walks away.)
Ross: She wants me to take responsibility for everything that went wrong in our relationship. I mean she goes on for five pages about, about how I was unfaithful to her! (Both Joey and Chandler shrug their shoulders as to say Well...) (yelling) WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!
Ross: Thats right! Wait no, Ben.
Ross: Oh great! Hey-hey Joey, do you want to check out pictures of me and Mona ice skating?
Ross: What? (Glances over and sees the faces of the rest of the group, then goes and sits down.)
Ross: No! Pick me! I dont want to end up an old maid!
Ross: Well umm
Phoebe: Well look-look, okay Ross, Kyle just told me some really bad stuff about her.
Ross: I really wish that you wouldnt.
Ross: Come on!
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang is there, minus Ross. Chandler is trying to cheer Joey up about missing Phase Two.]
[Another set of flashbacks begin with Episode 521: The One With The Ball, Joey and Ross are throwing a ball around.]
Ross: Yes. And another time after that. Boy Im getting hungry! Hey Joey, have you ever been so hungry on a date that when a girl goes to the bathroom you eat some of her food?
Ross and Rachel: Ooohhhh!!
(Ross pans the camera over to Phoebe.)
Ross: All right. I think it was a mouse.
Rachel: Oh wow. Thatyknow what? That is so unfair. Yknow what? Now I want to steal your thunder! Come on Ross, lets go have sex!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]
Rachel: Ross, I really dont think
Ross: I just wanted to tell you something before you heard it from someone else and I hope this isn't too weird, but uh, I had uh, a thing with Janice. (He laughs, his real laugh this time.) What you're-you're not mad?
PHOEBE: I think on my shoulder. [Ross enters]
Ross: God, do you realize in ten years were gonna be 40?
(Joey turns and looks at quite possibly one of the ugliest pets that you can possibly buy on the planet. Rachel has bought herself a hairless cat. Yep, a hairless cat! Joey and Ross start to get sick.)
Ross: (starting it) Woohoo!
Ross: Yes! My babys finally free!
Joey: (laughs that one off) Yeah. So uh Ross, well nowwhy did that first marriage breakup? Was it because the woman was straight or she was a lesbian?
Joey: (crying) Why God?! Why are you doing this to us?! (He buries his head in Rosss shoulder.)
Ross: You wanna buy a car?
Emily: (on phone from London) Hello, Ross?
Joey: Oh, like you've never gotten a little rambunctious with Ross.
Ross: Whats the matter? You okay?
Chandler: (To Ross) Monica said wedding.
Ross: Okay. Yeah, I guess, I guess I could do that too.
Monica: Okay, so Ross will be doing the reading.
Ross: What? A brain transplant?!
Ross: Its ridiculous!
Ross: But-but, if you dont love this, well do it in any other place at any other time. Really, its fine, whatever you want.
(Rachel, Ross, and Monica exit)
Ross: Okay, I (Walks away.)
Ross: No! And Im not gonna be, so you can save you little speech.
Joey and Ross: No. No.
Chandler: Why is your family Ross?!
[Scene: The Banquet Room, Ross is taking a picture of a plant, Chandler a fork. The band stops.]
ROSS: I'll take it. My gift to you man.
Ross: Ok, Mom never hit.
Ross: Well, as much as Id like to meet Josh and warn him, Emily and I arent going to be here. All right? I mean, shes going to come by first to say good-bye, and then Ive got a whole special evening planned. So Im sorry, no party.
Rachel: What handsome is not your type? Smart? Kind? Good kisser? What those things arent on your list? Ross is a great guy! You would be lucky to be with him!
Ross: I cant believe they-they didnt even tell us!
Paul: Ill call you later. Bye Ross. (Leaves)
Ross: Hey you leave Marcel out of this!
Ross: Yes! Thats where we realized we were both super cool people!
Ross: What?!
Ross: How did you know about that?!
Ross: Why not?
Ross: Were you the ones called the cops?!
Ross: Come on, there are plenty of other women out thereok? Just - just forget about her, ok? Just, she's off limits.
Ross: A lesson in the importance of unagi. (He starts doing the finger thing every time now.)
Ross: Yknow what (Moves away as Chandler enters, panicked.)
Ross: (to Joey) So he's calling from Rome. I could do that. Just gotta go to Rome.
The Woman From Poughkeepsie: (outside Rosss window) Ross? Ross! (she knocks on the window) Wake up! Ross! (the train starts moving) Ross! Ross!! Ross!!! Ross!!!!
Phoebe: Yeah! Or too, you could be two stockbrokers and youre-youre-youre rolling around naked on the trading floor and everybodys watching! (Ross looks at her.) It never happened.
Rachel: (opens her present from Ross; it's a dark-red scarf) Oohh, I love it!
Ross: Hey, you know what I just realized? If you guys ever have kids
Ross: One, two, three, four!
Ross: So?
Ross: You know the song! Sing along!
Ross: You know the song! Sing along!
(Ross throws the bagpipes down in disgust.)
Ross: Well, if hes angry, he really shouldnt just cover it up. I-I wish he would just tell me the truth.
Ross: Hi.
Ross: (to Ben) Okay! All clear!
(Ben starts to go, but Ross stops him.)
Ross: Hi, we have a little bathroom emergency.
Ross: Well, Ben would be there.
Ross: Whats the matter?
Ross: (to Ben) Everything okay in there?
Ross: Oh, she isnt home.
Ross: Joey had an imaginary childhood friend. His name was?
(He goes to sit down next to Ross.)
Phoebe: Ross, you cant tell her not to go. You just started dating.
Ross: Yknow we should probably ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby thats half human and half pure evil!
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
Chandler: Well, she walked in when I was looking at the ring brochures. You can understand that, right? (Ross and Joey look at each other and go back to watching the game on TV.) Guys? Guys? (Walks in front of them again.)
Ross: Yes! Ben learned a little trick.
Ross: Wait, did you get to the part about his 'huge throbbing pens'? Tell ya, you don't wanna be around when he starts writing with those!
Ross: (slowly stands up and says quietly) Excuse me. (Exits.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is there as Rachel storms in.]