words in movies
Ross: Y'know if we ever go to war and youre captured, youre in for a big surprise.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Monica are sitting on the couch playing cards, and Phoebe is working on a new song.]
Ross: Oh, you could just go uh, "greatest of ease (plays air guitar) BAH-bah-bha-bhannn." Then go right into it.
Ross: Well umm, yknow, I used to play.
Ross: Yeah, just a little in high school, but then I really got into it in college. I mean thats-thats when I really found my sound.
(Monica is taking a drink as Ross says that, laughs, and snorts her drink.)
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Really? No. I mean, nah, I havent played in so long, and-and, well its-its really personal stuff, yknow?
Ross: No, you guys, I mean my keyboards are all the way up inNo, yeah, okay. (Runs out.)
[Cut to later that same day, Ross has retrieved his keyboard and is about to debut, "The Sound."]
Ross: Okay, guys.
Ross: Here we go. (Plays one note) Yknow, Ive-Ive never played my stuff for anyone before, so its important that-that you understand its about communicating very private emotions. (Plays another note) Yknow, umm, you should-you should think of umm, my work as wordless sound poems. Thats what Im
(Ross starts to play. He plays a key that has a back beat sound attached to it. Over the background music he plays the sound of a barking dog, a mooing cow, a laser beam, someone coughing, a jackhammer, a doorbell, a police siren, a ray gun, breaking dishes, and for a closer he plays the sound of a loud crash. Basically, the music sucks.)
Ross: Really?! I mean, really?!!
Ross: Wow! Thanks, you guys. Thats uhohhh, I wanna, I wanna play you another piece! Umm! Uh-oh! I left my uh, helicopter sounds on another disk. Ill be right back! Okay? (Runs to fetch them) This is so nice, ImI am so (starts to break up and leaves)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is performing, his music hasnt improved.]
Ross: (His voice is altered to sound like a computer.) Electrifying. (He plays the sound of a ticking clock.) Emphatic time-time-time
[cut back to Ross who finally finishes his so-called song with the same crash from before. He gets some applause, mainly cause hes done.]
Ross: (with the altered voice) Thank you guys-guys-guys
Phoebe: I cant follow Ross! Itd be like those bicycle ridding chimps that followed The Beetles. No.
Monica: Phoebe, Ross sucks!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross has just finished playing.]
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey!
Ross: Oh, thanks, thanks. So Monica tells me that uh, you dont want to play anymore because me and y'know my talent. Is that true?
Ross: Pheebs
Ross: See but, Pheebs that-that is the exact opposite intent of my music. Yknow my music is-is meant to inspire, and if it bothers you this much, then I I wont play anymore.
Ross: Yeah, okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Monica are sitting on the couch and Phoebe is getting coffee as Chandler enters. Ross is also there.]
Ross: Hey Chandler! Saw the new furniture. Very nice.
Ross: What?
Ross: No the-the sad thing is, if you had told him how you felt before you kissed her, knowing Joey, he probably just wouldve just stepped aside.
Ross: Well, I said-I said something to Phoebe.
Ross: Hey, would it be okay if I wrote a song about this.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is playing his music. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
(Ross finally finishes with the same crash, and gets some applause.)
Ross: Thank you, thanks. (Sits down next to the girls) Yeah, I lost it. Yknow, Im not gonna play anymore, (to Phoebe) would you, can you finish my set?
(Phoebe gets up and goes to play, Ross goes over and sits down next to Monica and Rachel.)
Ross: Yeah, like I could lose it.
Ross: I played bad on purpose guys.
Ross: Yeahno, just that last song.
Ross: I'm gonna have to give him up.
Ross: Umm, candles, champagne, yeah anniversaries are great. Cause you know love lasts forever, y'know. Nothing like it in this lifetime, money in the bank, so Rachel and I broke up.
Ross: Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... (stops suddenly and turns to look at Monica) Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?!
Ross: Maybe not.
Ross and Chandler: Hey!
Ross: Like buddies.
Ross: (looking at the coffee table where his money was) Hey umm, was-was Monica here?
Ross: Well did you try calling her?
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on. He's happily married. His wife just had twins.
Ross: Yes. Yes. Yes! Yes, I really do! In fact, it's funny, very often, someone who you wouldn't think could-could curl your toes, might just be the one who...
Ross: Thats right Lydia, Elizabeth here is a student and uh, were dating. And you may frown upon that, but were not gonna hide it anymore.
Ross: (To Monica) Lets grab our stuff and get the hell out of here.
Chandler: I do not hate Ross!
Chandler: Marry me. (Both Ross and Chandler hit him.)
Ross: Uh-huh.
Monica: Then you two can, can sneak into the cockpit, and things will start to heat up, and then a stewardess comes in (Ross looks at her.) Ive been watching too much porn.
Ross: D'ya.. uh.. d'ya need any help?
Ross: So you guys having any luck getting rid of the entertainment center?
Ross: Okay, maybe this is so hard, because there aren't 50 states. Let me tell you something, I have 49 states, and there are no more! I-I think, I should be able to eat something.
Ross: Um. I know it says black tie optional, but, um this may be pushing it a little, um.
Ross: (apparently unruffled) Oh. Can I... can I ask who?
Rachel: Ok. Oh God. (To Ross) Get the camera, it’s in the diaper bag.
Ross: And where she's going everyone else'll be dressier?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is ordering something over the phone from a catalog.]
(He happily gestures at Chandler that there was nothing to worry about, then exits. Rachel and Monica are concerned for poor Phoebe, who slides back down next to Ross.)
Ross: He looks so tiny.
Ross: Look, I'm sorry to hear about your tragedy, ok? But the swings are perfectly safe, and besides Emma loves them. You know what, you should come with us and you'll see!
Ross: No, why?
Chandler and Ross: Hey.
Ross: Yeah, hey I-I have clothes, I even pick them out. I mean for, for all you know I could be a fashion..... monger.
CHAN: Does anyone have one from a different paper? Ross, read yours.
[Scene: The Roof, Ross and Joey are banging on the door.]
Ross: What?
Ross: Who?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is outside the bathroom yelling at Ross who's in the bathroom.]
Ross: The doctor says its completely normal with all the hormones. Plus, you-youre sleep deprived.
(Camera cuts to Chandler and Ross at table.)
Ross: I don't know.
Ross: We're fine, we're fine.
ROSS: Alright, that's it. I've had enough of this, alright. Gunther, these guys are trying to take our seat.
Rachel: Look, Charlie, I just want you to know. Ross is just having a little trouble adjusting to the thought of Joey and me. You know, he normally doesn't drink like this.
Paul: Wow. What can I say? (Pause, pointing at Ross) This doesnt make me like you any better!
Ross: Oh man, I can't believe you guys are leaving this place.
Ross: Oh, you're... (gives up)
Ross: No, no. Uh... no, see, uh, you-you can't do that.
Ross: Ben, I want you to know that there may be some times when I may not be around, like this. (walks out of the picture) But I'll still always come back, like this. (returns) And sometimes I may be away longer, like this. (walks away) But I'll still always come back, like this. (returns)
Ross: Can we please focus here, a naked mans life hangs in the balance!
Ross: Please, help me! I have a date tonight. It has to go well okayIm scared for my health!
Monica: Well, well Ross didnt care enough to be here, so I think hes out. You snooze you lose.
Ross: (pause)...Yeah.
Ross: You still on that?
Ross: I'm not a nice guy.
Ross: Well that's fine with me. Could use the money.
Ross: Dad so what we have to pretend that were married?
Ross: Well, actually its been great. Shes 20 so shes not looking for anything too serious, which is perfect for me right now.
Ross: Alright boys, let's eat.
Ross: Uh, nothing, I'm sure they'll be impressed with your excellent compuper skills.
Ross: Dude, what'd you have?
Ross: Alright.
Ross: Hey.
Ross: Alright.
Joey: Ah, Im-Im walking down the aisle...Still walking. (Mrs. Waltham takes her place.) Im about to pass the bridesmaid I hooked up with last night. (Looking at the bridesmaid.) Hey! (Talking to Phoebe.) I told her "Hey." And now Im at the front with Ross. Its Phoebe. (He shows Ross the phone.) He looks pretty mad. Uh...Id better go.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey and Ross are there.]
Ross: I know. I know. I mean, one day, he's this little thing, and before you know it, he's this little thing I can't get off my leg.
Ross: You got the clothes clean. Now that's the important part.
Ross: Uh... to the bathroom.
(Ross gets up from the table.)
Ross: No, Im not gonna pick them up.
(Ross stands up.)
(Ross looks down.)
Phoebe: Ross?
Ross: Oh, I am very in.
Ross: Show them to me!
Ross: This place is really beautiful!
[Scene: The Set, Joey, Janine, Ross and Monica are walking in.]
(Ross is visibly upset.)
Ross: Let me see! Show them!
Ross: No. Im saying its now. (He starts putting on his pants, backwards again.)
Phoebe: Oh, Ross youre right, I dont know why I always thought this was real grass.
Ross: All right, the score is nine to eight in favor of the guys. Ladies if you miss this the game is theirs, pick your category.
Rachel: It's not? (whispering to Ross) When was she born?
(Ross dials a number on his cellular phone)
Ross: Uh, Rach, we're running low on resumes over here.
Rachel: (to Ross): Loser?
Ross: I'm in. (throws in chips)
Ross: You got me.
Ross: Fifteen.
Ross: Thank you.
Joey: (to Ross): Ahhh, that's alright. Y'know, that's a tough hand to beat.
Chandler: (to Ross): I thought we had them!
ROSS: Not hating Yanni is not a real reason.
Ross: Uh.... bean! Bean!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Ross enters.]
(Chandler and Ross head for opposite ends of the couch.)
Ross: Its not a club.
Ross: Thanks to a little something called "Helvetica Bold 24 point"!
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Ross is returning to find another couple has taken the place of Marc and Julie.]
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Really.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel are sitting around the table.]