words in movies
Ross: Y'know if we ever go to war and youre captured, youre in for a big surprise.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Monica are sitting on the couch playing cards, and Phoebe is working on a new song.]
Ross: Oh, you could just go uh, "greatest of ease (plays air guitar) BAH-bah-bha-bhannn." Then go right into it.
Ross: Well umm, yknow, I used to play.
Ross: Yeah, just a little in high school, but then I really got into it in college. I mean thats-thats when I really found my sound.
(Monica is taking a drink as Ross says that, laughs, and snorts her drink.)
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Really? No. I mean, nah, I havent played in so long, and-and, well its-its really personal stuff, yknow?
Ross: No, you guys, I mean my keyboards are all the way up inNo, yeah, okay. (Runs out.)
[Cut to later that same day, Ross has retrieved his keyboard and is about to debut, "The Sound."]
Ross: Okay, guys.
Ross: Here we go. (Plays one note) Yknow, Ive-Ive never played my stuff for anyone before, so its important that-that you understand its about communicating very private emotions. (Plays another note) Yknow, umm, you should-you should think of umm, my work as wordless sound poems. Thats what Im
(Ross starts to play. He plays a key that has a back beat sound attached to it. Over the background music he plays the sound of a barking dog, a mooing cow, a laser beam, someone coughing, a jackhammer, a doorbell, a police siren, a ray gun, breaking dishes, and for a closer he plays the sound of a loud crash. Basically, the music sucks.)
Ross: Really?! I mean, really?!!
Ross: Wow! Thanks, you guys. Thats uhohhh, I wanna, I wanna play you another piece! Umm! Uh-oh! I left my uh, helicopter sounds on another disk. Ill be right back! Okay? (Runs to fetch them) This is so nice, ImI am so (starts to break up and leaves)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is performing, his music hasnt improved.]
Ross: (His voice is altered to sound like a computer.) Electrifying. (He plays the sound of a ticking clock.) Emphatic time-time-time
[cut back to Ross who finally finishes his so-called song with the same crash from before. He gets some applause, mainly cause hes done.]
Ross: (with the altered voice) Thank you guys-guys-guys
Phoebe: I cant follow Ross! Itd be like those bicycle ridding chimps that followed The Beetles. No.
Monica: Phoebe, Ross sucks!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross has just finished playing.]
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey!
Ross: Oh, thanks, thanks. So Monica tells me that uh, you dont want to play anymore because me and y'know my talent. Is that true?
Ross: Pheebs
Ross: See but, Pheebs that-that is the exact opposite intent of my music. Yknow my music is-is meant to inspire, and if it bothers you this much, then I I wont play anymore.
Ross: Yeah, okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Monica are sitting on the couch and Phoebe is getting coffee as Chandler enters. Ross is also there.]
Ross: Hey Chandler! Saw the new furniture. Very nice.
Ross: What?
Ross: No the-the sad thing is, if you had told him how you felt before you kissed her, knowing Joey, he probably just wouldve just stepped aside.
Ross: Well, I said-I said something to Phoebe.
Ross: Hey, would it be okay if I wrote a song about this.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is playing his music. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
(Ross finally finishes with the same crash, and gets some applause.)
Ross: Thank you, thanks. (Sits down next to the girls) Yeah, I lost it. Yknow, Im not gonna play anymore, (to Phoebe) would you, can you finish my set?
(Phoebe gets up and goes to play, Ross goes over and sits down next to Monica and Rachel.)
Ross: Yeah, like I could lose it.
Ross: I played bad on purpose guys.
Ross: Yeahno, just that last song.
Ross: Monica? You're Mom.
Ross: Of course not, I'm... suggesting Geller-Willick-Bunch.
Ross: You're right, you're right, it is...So you gonna invite us all to the big opening?
Ross: Actually, do you guys mind staying here for a while?
Carol: Ross, you remember Susan.
(After she's left, Ross gets really happy and starts kissing the card. Suddenly, she returns.)
Ross: Over here. (You can see Ross sitting at the far wall.)
Rachel: Well, Ross, we were worried about you. We didn't know how you were going to react.
Ross: Yeah! I know! It was. Oh the only sad thing is I wasnt around when it happened for the first time.
Ross: Oh, shhh, shh. Magic is about to happen.
Ross: No? What happened, big guy?
Ross: (to Gary) He told you everything! I mean you totally cracked him!
Ross: Oh whats the big deal?! I wasnt even invited to the ceremony, just the reception. And-and yknow what? If it makes you feel any better, Joan and I will just make an appearance and then, and then well-well leave early as a sign of protest.
Ross: Doesn't sound as crazy as paying a thousand dollars for a cat.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is on the phone with her mother. Phoebe, Rachel, and Ross are there.]
Ross: The word you're looking for is 'Anyway'...
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is showing Ross, Rachel, Joey, and Phoebe his engagement ring again.]
Rachel: Its a truffle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch, [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
Ross: Okay. I think it's time to change somebody's nicotine patch. (Does so.)
[Cut to inside the apartment, Ross decides to let Monica in and goes over and opens the door in mid-pound.]
Ross: Some can sing, some can dance. I apparently can turn phallic cakes into woodland creatures.
Rachel: Um... Ross?
Ross: That's my sister.
Ross: Pheebs, what about you?
Ross: Well, it was the only thing to do there that didn't have a line.
Ross: Step back.
Ross: Come on.
(Chandler laughs, turns, and sees that Ross and Joey arent happy.)
Ross: You won an adult Thanksgiving day spelling bee.
Ross: Mmmm.
Ross: I do.
(Ross gets up, pleased with himself.)
Ross: Wow, how many have you got?
Ross: Shhhh!
Chandler: Y'know what this is like? This is like when my parents got divorced. Man, I hope Ross doesnt try to kidnap me after Cub Scouts.
Joey: Okay, if Ross and Rachel ask, I've been here the whole time. THE WHOLE TIME!
Ross: Oh. Hel-lo!
Ross: See?
Joey: Uh hey look uh Ross, look I think we need to talk about before.
Ross: I'm going to do it.
Ross: Gimmie! (Takes the ring and puts it in his coat pocket as Rachel enters the hallway.)
Ross: Yes, yes, that's right...
(Ross flinches in pain.)
Rachel: All right Monica, do you want to know why I was with Ross tonight?!
Ross: (nonchalantly) Yeah?
Ross: But is it technically a date if the other person doesn't show up?
Ross: How come? Everybody else does.
Ross: It's not that easy, there's still a lot of relationship stuff.
Rachel: And Ross.
Ross: Kay, first of all, this attitude is not helping.
Ross: I dont know, I-I was all high.
Ross: No no no, go-
(Suddenly, theres movement beside her, startling her. Its Ross! He wakes up and they both start screaming in terror. Then they both grab their heads having aggravated their hangovers.)
Ross: Okay. Um is he a good guy?
Mrs. Green: With another woman. Have you no control Ross?
Ross: Wha-What did he say that was so funny?
Ross: Carol was wearing boots just like those the night that we- we first- y'know. Fact, she, uh- she never took'em off, 'cause we-we- (off Chandler's look) Sorry. Sorry.
Joey: Look, Ross look, Im on board about this totally honesty thing, I am, just not about stuff thats gonna get you in trouble.
Ross: That's... that's classic.
(Ross looks at Joey.)
Ross: Thing, yes. Thing.
Paolo: Ross!
Ross: Paolo. Hi.
Ross: Yeah! Se vice?
Ross: Well umm, oh! I might be teaching another class this semester!
Ross: I dont know, aheh, yours was the first name that-that popped into my head, Im Im sorry. I-I didnt think it would matter.
Ross: Thank you.
Ross: Great! Great. Then I mustve left it at Monas. I knew it!
Ross: Oh.. oh... oh.
Ross: That guy, he burns me up.
Ross: No you didn't. You said you would, but you never did!
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, and Julie are sitting on the couch.]
Ross: Kinda... spooky without any lights.
Ross: (rolling) Lucky sixes....
Dr. Green: So! (they both try to sit next to Rachel but Dr. Green is successful.) (to Ross) Hows the library?
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is sleeping on the couch, Ross is gone, the rest of them can finally emerge from their cell. They all wave good bye, and start to walk quietly out, as Monica goes and puts a blanket on Rachel. Joey starts walking all hunched over and bobbing his shoulders as he goes.]
Rachel: Oh thats five Ross. Five women have had five babies! And I have had no babies! Why doesnt she want to come out?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Cassie is eating dinner and Ross is pacing behind her because of what shes eating.]
Ross: What a great idea! That will get Rachel to forgive me!
Ross: (squatting and reading the instructions) I'm supposed to attach a brackety thing to the side things, using a bunch of these little worm guys. I have no brackety thing, I see no whim guys whatsoever and- I cannot feel my legs.
Ross: So, uh, how's she doing?
Ross: I am not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical!
Ross: Yeah, I have a question. When is this gonna air?
Ross: Yes, yes it is. In prison! Whatsa matter with you?
Ross: She looks so small.
Monica: Ross!
Ross: Yes, yes, fine, that is my penis. Can we be grown-ups now?
Ross: Bye, Nana.
Ross: But I'm not! (pause). You know what if you're in the mood for Thai food...
Ross: Twice.
(Monica and Ross enter.)
Ross: Now she's passed.
Ross: Thank you for bringing her into our lives.
Ross: Hey, hows it going?
Ross: Nono, she's gone.
Ross: We know you took so just-just save yourself the time and confess!
Monica: Ross, just forget about it. This guys got you totally wedged in.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is telling Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler about Emily's ultimatum.]
Monica: My mothers driving me crazy, but Ross is getting married. Im happy. (A drunken man approaches.) Im not going to let anything spoil that.
Ross: Ah! (She hugs him.) Well uh-uh, t-take it downstairs, yknow give it a test ride.