words in movies
Ross: Y'know if we ever go to war and youre captured, youre in for a big surprise.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Monica are sitting on the couch playing cards, and Phoebe is working on a new song.]
Ross: Oh, you could just go uh, "greatest of ease (plays air guitar) BAH-bah-bha-bhannn." Then go right into it.
Ross: Well umm, yknow, I used to play.
Ross: Yeah, just a little in high school, but then I really got into it in college. I mean thats-thats when I really found my sound.
(Monica is taking a drink as Ross says that, laughs, and snorts her drink.)
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Really? No. I mean, nah, I havent played in so long, and-and, well its-its really personal stuff, yknow?
Ross: No, you guys, I mean my keyboards are all the way up inNo, yeah, okay. (Runs out.)
[Cut to later that same day, Ross has retrieved his keyboard and is about to debut, "The Sound."]
Ross: Okay, guys.
Ross: Here we go. (Plays one note) Yknow, Ive-Ive never played my stuff for anyone before, so its important that-that you understand its about communicating very private emotions. (Plays another note) Yknow, umm, you should-you should think of umm, my work as wordless sound poems. Thats what Im
(Ross starts to play. He plays a key that has a back beat sound attached to it. Over the background music he plays the sound of a barking dog, a mooing cow, a laser beam, someone coughing, a jackhammer, a doorbell, a police siren, a ray gun, breaking dishes, and for a closer he plays the sound of a loud crash. Basically, the music sucks.)
Ross: Really?! I mean, really?!!
Ross: Wow! Thanks, you guys. Thats uhohhh, I wanna, I wanna play you another piece! Umm! Uh-oh! I left my uh, helicopter sounds on another disk. Ill be right back! Okay? (Runs to fetch them) This is so nice, ImI am so (starts to break up and leaves)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is performing, his music hasnt improved.]
Ross: (His voice is altered to sound like a computer.) Electrifying. (He plays the sound of a ticking clock.) Emphatic time-time-time
[cut back to Ross who finally finishes his so-called song with the same crash from before. He gets some applause, mainly cause hes done.]
Ross: (with the altered voice) Thank you guys-guys-guys
Phoebe: I cant follow Ross! Itd be like those bicycle ridding chimps that followed The Beetles. No.
Monica: Phoebe, Ross sucks!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross has just finished playing.]
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey!
Ross: Oh, thanks, thanks. So Monica tells me that uh, you dont want to play anymore because me and y'know my talent. Is that true?
Ross: Pheebs
Ross: See but, Pheebs that-that is the exact opposite intent of my music. Yknow my music is-is meant to inspire, and if it bothers you this much, then I I wont play anymore.
Ross: Yeah, okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Monica are sitting on the couch and Phoebe is getting coffee as Chandler enters. Ross is also there.]
Ross: Hey Chandler! Saw the new furniture. Very nice.
Ross: What?
Ross: No the-the sad thing is, if you had told him how you felt before you kissed her, knowing Joey, he probably just wouldve just stepped aside.
Ross: Well, I said-I said something to Phoebe.
Ross: Hey, would it be okay if I wrote a song about this.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is playing his music. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
(Ross finally finishes with the same crash, and gets some applause.)
Ross: Thank you, thanks. (Sits down next to the girls) Yeah, I lost it. Yknow, Im not gonna play anymore, (to Phoebe) would you, can you finish my set?
(Phoebe gets up and goes to play, Ross goes over and sits down next to Monica and Rachel.)
Ross: Yeah, like I could lose it.
Ross: I played bad on purpose guys.
Ross: Yeahno, just that last song.
ROSS: Oh, you're right, I'm sorry.
ROSS: Hello, it's us, all right? It'll be fine.
ROSS: That's a good point.
ROSS: I hear ya.
Ross: No, come on, he doesnt know this stuff. If he knew how you felt.
Monica: Am I doing here? Why? Surprised to see me? Ross brought me. How do you like that?!
Jill: No! They did! (Points to Phoebe and Ross)
ROSS: Whoo!
Ross: All right, I'll see you guys later.
Ross: Me too. So much for my dinosaur/Amelia Earhart theme park.
ROSS: Come on.
Ross: Uh-uh. See, I see.... big passion in your future.
ROSS: Chandler!
Ross: Youre just saying that 'cause I said no to your name!
ROSS: Whoa! You had sex today?
ROSS: Fine.
ROSS: Wow.
Ross: You were incredible! Brand new woman, ladies and gentlemen.
ROSS: Ross.
ROSS: What guys? Oh, yeah.
ROSS: Hey, you guys.
ROSS: Excellent, that was excellent.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its after Ross and Joeys talk with Frank, and Phoebes is finding out what happened.]
ROSS: Oh, thank you, thanks. So uh, how was your night last night?
Ross: Come on, they're gonna love you.
Ross: I dont think so. Hello? (Knocks on the glass, which angers the big, large, angry dog behind the glass and causes them to jump to the other side of the landing.) When you get in there (Joey nods his disapproval.)
ROSS: Come on, don't do this.
Ross: Well, excuse her for knowing what she wants to do with her life!
Ross: Okay. (goes over to the counter) (to Chandler) What ah, what is the matter with you? Whats going on?
JOEY: Are you ok, Ross?
ROSS: Ugh.
Chandler: (reading the paper) Says here that a muppet got whacked on Seasame Street last night. (to Ross) Where exactly were around ten-ish?
Ross: No, no, no. Don't do that! I want you to look her in the eyes, and tell her the truth.
Ross: (deadpan) Please be kidding.
Ross: My doctoral dissertation is in the library at school, I went to see it, and there were students makin babies right in the middle of the Paleontology section!
Ross: My mommies love me. That's clever.
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, shes pacing as Ross knocks on her door and opens it a little to stick his hands in.]
Ross: What?! The guys against the girls? See, thats ridiculous Monica, because Im only down by three touchdowns.
ROSS: Tho?
ROSS: Ohhh.
ROSS: Ok.
ROSS: [to Joey who's looking over a toilet stall] Joey, some people don't like that.
Ross: I'll do it. Hey, whatever you need me to do, I'm your man. (He starts to sit down on the bed. There's one problem though, he's about two feet to the left of it. Needless to say, he misses and falls on his butt.) (Looking up at Joey.) Whoa-oh-whoa! Are you, are you okay?
Ross: Well, I think it's perfect. Y'know, it's just gonna be the two of us, she spent all day taking care of my monkey...
RACHEL: Oh God, Ross.� Ross is going to pick up the phone.� Oh, I have to get my number back.� (She turns to find Bill, but they have gone.)� Oh my God.� He's gone.
Susan and Ross: (even louder) Help!
Ross: (getting up) Okay! Fine! Fine! If-if this is what you think, forget about the whole three divorce thing! Okay, I-Ill go to my lawyers office right now and get this marriage annulled! Okay?! Because she means nothing to me! Noth(leans down to Megs ear)Nothing!!
Rachel: Its a trifle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch. [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] Then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef saut�ed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
Paulo: (entering) Hey, hey Ross.
ROSS: Oh.
Ross: Wh-wh-what line? The line that prompted a student in my last class of the day to say uh, (In a college frat boy voice) "Dude, dont you ever was your face?"
Ross: I I dont know what you are talking about.
Chandler: (entering) Oh good, okay, I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore. So you win, okay? Here! (Hands him the 50 bucks he's about to owe him.) Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship so that you can get back to your home planet! And Ross, phone call for you today, Tom Jones, he wants his pants back! And Hornswoggle? What are you dating a character from Fraggile Rock?! (He sits down and sighs in relief.)
Ross: Rachel says sharing's great and supposedly, you know, we outta be doing it. Do you wanna?
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Chandler and Joey are there. Ross enters with a pizza.]
[Scene: Rosss birthday, night has fallen and Joey and Ross are walking by where his car is parked to find that both cars blocking him in have left.]
Joey (to Ross): You know, I had a chance to stop her too!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, time lapse, Ross is entering. Chandler and Monica are at the kitchen table. Rachel is on the couch reading.]
Joey: Ross, how could you let this happen?
Rachel: Please. If she said to you, "Ross, I want you on this couch, right here, right now," what would you say?
ROSS: Hi guys.
ROSS: Uh huh.
Ross: (chasing her, trying to zip up his pants. His got them on right now.) No, wait! Emily! No, wait, stop! Emily, please(He catches something important in the zipper and howls like a little boy and falls to the floor.)
Rachel: Ross? All this time? Well, I've got to talk to him. (gets up to leave)
Ross: Mind if I mute?
[Scene: Central Perk. Some time later that day. The group has left and Charlie is there when Ross enters.]
Ross: Ah, well, in here, anyone who... stands erect... So what's new? Still, uh...
Ross: (looking at them) Wh-what's going on?
Ross: I thought, uh... it was a fifty cent limit.
Ross: Nice. And by the way that uh, that line down my face?
Ross: So does-does Joey know youre moving?
(Rachel looks at Ross, who motions to her to get the cart back.)
Ross: What? A dog? No! Rachel gets to choose.
Monica: So why-why wasnt Rosss stuff ruined? (Pause) And if you say the words medical marvel Im going to Easy Bake your head!
Ross: Look Ben, it's a toy that protects U.S. oil interests overseas!
Rachel: Yeah, you know, was I looking forward to going to Paris? Sure. You know, was I excited about working in the fashion capital of the world? Ooh, absolutely... Oh...! Yeah, but you know, this is... it's fine. I'm fine going back to a job where I've pretty much gotten everything out of that I possibly can... (she sits down, and Ross who is stunned to hear all this follows her example)
ROSS: Please tell me you're joking.
ROSS: You're over me?
Rachel: (as Ross enters with a present) But, but, Mona, I live here.
ROSS: You've had feelings for me?
ROSS: Wha... you're uh, you're, you're over me?
ROSS: Yep.
ROSS: Chandler. When did he... when did he... when did he?
ROSS: Cat. [leaves]
ROSS: You ever figure out what that thing's for?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is just hanging up the phone as Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
Ross: Hmmm-mmmm.
ROSS: Buy mommy.
ROSS: Fine.
ROSS: Good.
ROSS: Have a good time. Ok, Ben.
Ross: Wow! Im honored! And yknow what Im gonna do as my first act as your best friend?
MONICA: Ross.
ROSS: Yeah.
ROSS: Yeah.
Ross: She brought them up! (pause) I didn't realize you were coming back so soon!
Ross: No, no. This will always be your place. It would be too sad. Plus, how much a month does it cost to feed Joey?
ROSS: Hi.
Ross: And confused. Rach, sweetie, I-I um I didnt propose to you.
Ross: Yeah, okay. (he plops down into one of the leather chairs, with the footrest extended.)