words in movies
Ross: Y'know if we ever go to war and youre captured, youre in for a big surprise.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Monica are sitting on the couch playing cards, and Phoebe is working on a new song.]
Ross: Oh, you could just go uh, "greatest of ease (plays air guitar) BAH-bah-bha-bhannn." Then go right into it.
Ross: Well umm, yknow, I used to play.
Ross: Yeah, just a little in high school, but then I really got into it in college. I mean thats-thats when I really found my sound.
(Monica is taking a drink as Ross says that, laughs, and snorts her drink.)
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Really? No. I mean, nah, I havent played in so long, and-and, well its-its really personal stuff, yknow?
Ross: No, you guys, I mean my keyboards are all the way up inNo, yeah, okay. (Runs out.)
[Cut to later that same day, Ross has retrieved his keyboard and is about to debut, "The Sound."]
Ross: Okay, guys.
Ross: Here we go. (Plays one note) Yknow, Ive-Ive never played my stuff for anyone before, so its important that-that you understand its about communicating very private emotions. (Plays another note) Yknow, umm, you should-you should think of umm, my work as wordless sound poems. Thats what Im
(Ross starts to play. He plays a key that has a back beat sound attached to it. Over the background music he plays the sound of a barking dog, a mooing cow, a laser beam, someone coughing, a jackhammer, a doorbell, a police siren, a ray gun, breaking dishes, and for a closer he plays the sound of a loud crash. Basically, the music sucks.)
Ross: Really?! I mean, really?!!
Ross: Wow! Thanks, you guys. Thats uhohhh, I wanna, I wanna play you another piece! Umm! Uh-oh! I left my uh, helicopter sounds on another disk. Ill be right back! Okay? (Runs to fetch them) This is so nice, ImI am so (starts to break up and leaves)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is performing, his music hasnt improved.]
Ross: (His voice is altered to sound like a computer.) Electrifying. (He plays the sound of a ticking clock.) Emphatic time-time-time
[cut back to Ross who finally finishes his so-called song with the same crash from before. He gets some applause, mainly cause hes done.]
Ross: (with the altered voice) Thank you guys-guys-guys
Phoebe: I cant follow Ross! Itd be like those bicycle ridding chimps that followed The Beetles. No.
Monica: Phoebe, Ross sucks!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross has just finished playing.]
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey!
Ross: Oh, thanks, thanks. So Monica tells me that uh, you dont want to play anymore because me and y'know my talent. Is that true?
Ross: Pheebs
Ross: See but, Pheebs that-that is the exact opposite intent of my music. Yknow my music is-is meant to inspire, and if it bothers you this much, then I I wont play anymore.
Ross: Yeah, okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Monica are sitting on the couch and Phoebe is getting coffee as Chandler enters. Ross is also there.]
Ross: Hey Chandler! Saw the new furniture. Very nice.
Ross: What?
Ross: No the-the sad thing is, if you had told him how you felt before you kissed her, knowing Joey, he probably just wouldve just stepped aside.
Ross: Well, I said-I said something to Phoebe.
Ross: Hey, would it be okay if I wrote a song about this.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is playing his music. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
(Ross finally finishes with the same crash, and gets some applause.)
Ross: Thank you, thanks. (Sits down next to the girls) Yeah, I lost it. Yknow, Im not gonna play anymore, (to Phoebe) would you, can you finish my set?
(Phoebe gets up and goes to play, Ross goes over and sits down next to Monica and Rachel.)
Ross: Yeah, like I could lose it.
Ross: I played bad on purpose guys.
Ross: Yeahno, just that last song.
Ross: Uh-huh. Well, when the psychiatrist told me I had to take a leave of absence because I yelled at my boss I started to get worked up again, so he offered me a tranquilizer. And I thought was a good idea so, I took it.
Benjamin: (looks surprised and un-impressed) That's not even kinda close! (Ross looks around confused) Dr. Li, how many graduate students you'd be needing?
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey, do you have any gum?
Joey: (waving) Very funny Ross! Very life-like and funny. Okay. (Notices that a woman is waving back.) Oh no-no-no, I wasn't waving at you lady. (She just stares at him.) (Joey sees how beautiful she is.) Whoa, maybe I was! Hey, Monica, this totally hot girl in Ross's building is flirting with me.
Ross: Okay, okay, I'll go first.
Ross: Are you're hands still wet?
Ross: O is for "oh, wow!" The V is for this very surprising turn of events, which I'm still fine with by the way. E is for how extremely normal I find it. That you two are together. And now one day you might get married and have children of your own.
Monica: Ross this is the only thing left that has a shot at working.
Rachel: Ross?
Ross: I'm here.
Ross: Ooh, Ooh.
Ross: Nevermind.
Rachel: Ross?
Ross: I'm smarter than him!
Ross: What are you doing? We're going to a hospital.
Ross: I'm hurt.
Ross: Well... you never know. How's, um.. how's the family?
Chandler: Ross and the most beautiful girl in the world.
Ross: Save it.
Ross: (to Rachel) Im really glad we came. (Rachel smiles and rubs his arm) Youre so pretty. I love you.
Ross: Yeah... I guess. I don'tI don't know. Alright, just... just give her this for me, OK? (gives Chandler a gift for Rachel)
[Ross enters, sees Joey in the mirror]
Ross: Marcel! Where are you going with that disc?
Ross: (to Carol) Where the hell have you been?
Ross: I'll get it.
Joey: I had a dream once about a fax machine that did that. (Ross picks it up)
Ross: Dr. Franzblau, hi.
Ross: I got itI'm getting it!
Ross: Oh, what are you going to do, follow me down there?
Ross: No, no, don't, don't, rub it! Don't! (clapping) What gets out hummus?! What gets out hummus?!
Monica: All right, lets be practical, if Ross isnt willing to do it, hes not the only guy in the world you can have sex with. You can borrow ChandlerChandler is good!
Phoebe: Thanks, Ross.
Ross: Well, I don't know.... (gestures) huh-huh.... but I'm hoping (gestures) huh-huh.
Ross: Come on! All the cool kids are eating em! (chases after her.)
Ross: No, she was definitely on my bed.
Ross: No, no, it's okay. Really. They're plenty of people who just see their sisters at Thanksgiving and just see their college roommates at reunions and just see Joey at Burger King. So is, is that better?
Ross: 15 more seconds, 14, 13, 12...
Ross: Breathe.
Ross: I got it.
Ross: Why?
Susan: (to Ross) See what you did.
Ross: No, you started it.
Ross: (to Carol) Yeah, listen...
Ross: But...
Ross: (to Susan) Thanks a lot.
(Joey and Ross laughs)
Ross: ...How long was I in there?
Ross: Please. This is so your fault.
Ross: Yeah, Susan.
Ross: That's nice... now, was that before or after you told him to stop calling, stop sending you flowers and to generally leave you alone, hmm?
Ross: Breathe.
Ross: Help! Help!
Joey: All right, listen, Ross... you like this girl, right?
[Scene: Ross's hotel room. Ross and is reading his keynote speech to Charlie from his laptop]
Ross: 'The hills were alive with the sound of music.'
Chandler: Yeah I know, but I was really confused and then I talked to these guys. (Turns to look at Ross and Joey.)
Ross: Watch. (he takes the laptop) Here, you ehm... You highlight the word you want to change. Go under Tools and the Thesaurus generates... 'gives'... 'gives' a whole list of choices. You can pick the word that sounds smartest.
Ross: Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
Rachel: All right! Ross, do you think its easy for me to see you with somebody else?
ROSS: [on the phone] Woah, woah, woah australopithicus isn't supposed to be in that display. No. No. No, n, homo-habilus was erect, australopithicus was never fully erect.
Ross: We're here!
Ross: Its worth the pain. (She goes to hug him again.) Yknow what, you know what? Its not.
Ross: Hey.
Ross: Yknow what? I can easily get out of this, but there is a chance you can get very, very hurt!
Ross: Oh, thanks, Pheebs!
Monica: Ross, can I?
Ross and Joey: No-no-no-no-no. (They start to turn away, but Phoebe stops them, and turns them back to face her.)
Ross: The head, the head. You gotta...
Ross: 59 seconds. (holds up his watch) Quartz, ha.
Ross: You wanna explain that?
Ross: Thanks. (Gets up and as he does so, the sound returns. Without another word he heads into her bathroom.)
Ross: (Mortified) Hi.
Joey: Oh! Maybe they'll name yours after you! Y'know, they'll call it, The Ross. And then people would be like, "Awww, he's got a Ross."
Ross: Hey.
Tour Guide: Im Rhonda, (motions to her breasts) and these arent real! (Joey and Ross look at each other, shocked)
Ross: (Quietly) hey, fella! How you doing?
Ross: Ok, got the vent open.
Ross: "Heating device."
Ross: Thanks! (walks out of the room and starts hugging the wall) Thank you! (closes the door)
JOEY: What about Ross? I mean, are you still mad at him cause he made that list about you?
Ross: Hey, is Rachel here? Um, I wanted to wish her a happy birthday before I left.
Ross: Okay, so I'm gonna be the only one standing there alone when the ball drops?
Ross: Well maybe he'll get to go soon, like on a class trip or something.
Ross: So, uh, this guy, she used to go out with, is, uh is he still in love with her?
Monica: (To Ross) Cassie needs to stay at your place.
Ross: Hi.
Young Monica: (entering the shot) Ross!!! (starts to wipe up the spill)
Ross: No.
Ross: At the coffeehouse, right.
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
Ross: I know.
Ross: Yeah, they print jokes, interviews, hard-hitting journalism. Its not just about the pictures.
Ross: (sigh)....I have to go to China.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are on the couch as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Ross, I am telling you that she is using you to get back at me!
Ross: I think it means he freaked out and left!
Ross: (turning towards him) Yes Mr. Lewis, how can I help you?
(Phoebe gets up, holds the picture of Ross up to her face.)
Phoebe: You dont have to do that, Ross and Joey arent here, you can watch the parade if you want.
Ross: Um, in Phoebe's room. You can't go in there.