words in movies
Ross: Y'know if we ever go to war and youre captured, youre in for a big surprise.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Monica are sitting on the couch playing cards, and Phoebe is working on a new song.]
Ross: Oh, you could just go uh, "greatest of ease (plays air guitar) BAH-bah-bha-bhannn." Then go right into it.
Ross: Well umm, yknow, I used to play.
Ross: Yeah, just a little in high school, but then I really got into it in college. I mean thats-thats when I really found my sound.
(Monica is taking a drink as Ross says that, laughs, and snorts her drink.)
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Really? No. I mean, nah, I havent played in so long, and-and, well its-its really personal stuff, yknow?
Ross: No, you guys, I mean my keyboards are all the way up inNo, yeah, okay. (Runs out.)
[Cut to later that same day, Ross has retrieved his keyboard and is about to debut, "The Sound."]
Ross: Okay, guys.
Ross: Here we go. (Plays one note) Yknow, Ive-Ive never played my stuff for anyone before, so its important that-that you understand its about communicating very private emotions. (Plays another note) Yknow, umm, you should-you should think of umm, my work as wordless sound poems. Thats what Im
(Ross starts to play. He plays a key that has a back beat sound attached to it. Over the background music he plays the sound of a barking dog, a mooing cow, a laser beam, someone coughing, a jackhammer, a doorbell, a police siren, a ray gun, breaking dishes, and for a closer he plays the sound of a loud crash. Basically, the music sucks.)
Ross: Really?! I mean, really?!!
Ross: Wow! Thanks, you guys. Thats uhohhh, I wanna, I wanna play you another piece! Umm! Uh-oh! I left my uh, helicopter sounds on another disk. Ill be right back! Okay? (Runs to fetch them) This is so nice, ImI am so (starts to break up and leaves)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is performing, his music hasnt improved.]
Ross: (His voice is altered to sound like a computer.) Electrifying. (He plays the sound of a ticking clock.) Emphatic time-time-time
[cut back to Ross who finally finishes his so-called song with the same crash from before. He gets some applause, mainly cause hes done.]
Ross: (with the altered voice) Thank you guys-guys-guys
Phoebe: I cant follow Ross! Itd be like those bicycle ridding chimps that followed The Beetles. No.
Monica: Phoebe, Ross sucks!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross has just finished playing.]
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey!
Ross: Oh, thanks, thanks. So Monica tells me that uh, you dont want to play anymore because me and y'know my talent. Is that true?
Ross: Pheebs
Ross: See but, Pheebs that-that is the exact opposite intent of my music. Yknow my music is-is meant to inspire, and if it bothers you this much, then I I wont play anymore.
Ross: Yeah, okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Monica are sitting on the couch and Phoebe is getting coffee as Chandler enters. Ross is also there.]
Ross: Hey Chandler! Saw the new furniture. Very nice.
Ross: What?
Ross: No the-the sad thing is, if you had told him how you felt before you kissed her, knowing Joey, he probably just wouldve just stepped aside.
Ross: Well, I said-I said something to Phoebe.
Ross: Hey, would it be okay if I wrote a song about this.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is playing his music. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
(Ross finally finishes with the same crash, and gets some applause.)
Ross: Thank you, thanks. (Sits down next to the girls) Yeah, I lost it. Yknow, Im not gonna play anymore, (to Phoebe) would you, can you finish my set?
(Phoebe gets up and goes to play, Ross goes over and sits down next to Monica and Rachel.)
Ross: Yeah, like I could lose it.
Ross: I played bad on purpose guys.
Ross: Yeahno, just that last song.
Ross: I want to go to the bathroom. (exits)
Ross: Wha? No no! Ah! (Ross scarfs all of his trifle down in about a second. He looks like hes going to throw up.) (Lying) All gone! So good! Maybe Chandler has some left.
Ross: Ugh, easy for you to say, you already know what your kids names are going to be.
Ross: Okay, hopefully this time mom wont boo you.
(They both run to rip the covers off the bed, but are interrupted by Ross.)
Ross: Not so good.
Ross: Yes!! I knew it!! (To the people who didn't make it.) Bye-bye! So long! Later!
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Yeah, it is.
Ross: Hey, y'know while were on that, when are you gonna tell my sister that you dont live here anymore.
Ross and Chandler: Hi!
Ross: No! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! You can have this back when the five pages are done! (After Joey walks past, Ross throws the ball down in pain.) Ahh! (Chandler shows him the burn spots on his oven mitts.)
Ross: Well, at least she's with Pop-Pop and Aunt Phyllis now.
Ross: What's up?
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Well, you just
Ross: What?!
Ross: Okay, well, that Wow, okay, well, umm then maybe, at least we can, we can talk about us again.
Ross: What?!
Rachel: What are you talking about Pheebs? (Takes out her compact) I don't (She gasps when she looks in the mirror and sees her face.) (To Ross) Oh my God, you drew on me?!
RACHEL: (as Ross) "Yeah.� That works for me." (Clears throat twice more.)
Ross: Yeah. (sees the bill) Op! Uh-oh! I think your Dad mustve added wrong. He only tipped like four percent.
Ross: Are you saying your kid eats soup better than my kid?
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Rach, uh, you still looking for a place?
Joey: (angrily) Ross!
Ross: (on phone) No-no-no, thats great! Ill be there Monday. And thank you again! (Listens) Okay. (Hangs up) (To All) Umm, that was the head of the Paleontology department at N uh, Y, uh U!
Ross: (outside the door) So Im gonna take off then!
Ross: Hey!
Ross: No!
Gary: Hey, it's okay. It was just a car backfire. (Joey slowly moves off of Ross.) Hey, look at that! You tried to save your buddy. You see that? You see what he did?
Ross: No.
Ross: There you go. Thank you!
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Yeah, itll be like a funny Thanksgiving story!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is getting ready for a date with Monica as Ross enters.]
Ross: There was one! She's it! All the rest look like they should live under a bridge!
Ross: What the hell was that?!
Ross: (backing away) I'm good.
Ross: Yeah, right.
Ross: Well
(Ross looks at Rachel.)
Ross: Uh, yknow what? Ill tell you who it hurts! It hurts the kid who has all his clothes stolen in gym class so he has to go to the principals office wearing nothing but a catchers mitt!
(In the hallway, Ross all dejected, sits down on the step.)
(Cut to Chandler, Ross and Roger sitting at the table. Ross is upset)
ROSS: Why, why, why can't you stand me being here? I don't, I, we're just, ya know, we're just havin' fun.
Ross: All right, I see what you guys are saying. I'll uh, I'll go downstairs and fill out an application.
Joey: Yeah, it is! You wouldnt have lost the ring, right? Yknow what, Ross you were right from the start, he (Chandler) should be your best man.
Ross: I will be! Listen, I dont want you teaching my son that stuff anymore. Okay?
Ross: Well, they painted over the word Sapien for one thing, then they rearranged the figures, lets just leave it at that.
Rachel: Oh Ross, honey you gotta stop torturing yourself!
Ross: I just, I had to see you one more time before you took-off.
Ross: No, she likes that. Yeah. Faking sleep doesnt work either, I cant tell you how many mornings I woke up with her...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's balcony, Ross and Phoebe are grilling some burgers and hot dogs.]
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Hey, that guy did not hypnotise me! Okay.
Ross: Really?!
Ross: Okay, you are totally making this up.
Ross: Ok, um, uh, more clothes in the dryer? (Ross turns and bangs his head on an open dryer door.) I'm fine, I'm fine.
Ross: And thank you, for that.
Ross: (while Rachel is finishing her rant) Okay! Okay! Okay! Its okay. (Rachel stops.) Its okay. Hey, its too weird for you, I wont see her again.
Ross: Anyway seriously, uh just just talk to the guy, okay? And tell me how it goes. (walks towards the door until )
Ross: What-what is love really?
Ross: (smiling) Are you sure?
Monica: Okay, you stay here, and just wait by the phone. Spray Lysol in my shoe, and wait for Ross to kill you.
Ross: Okay, how about, for a guy, Thatcher?
Chandler: Look, Ross, you have what you want, youre back with Rachel. If you bring this up now youre gonna wreck the best thing that even happened to you.
Ross: I'll get it! I will get that! (Runs over and opens the door.)
Ross: Do you like it?
Chandler: Well, I think, I think Ross knows about me and Monica.
Ross: Things you find in the ocean, (to Joey) You're gonna be on "Pyramid"!!
Ross: Actually Im a palian Dinosaurs is fine the drawing is not.
Ross: I dont know what youre talking about.
Ross: Exactly, itll be illegal for him to drink at his own bachelor party.
Ross: Yes, second in two years. Third overall.
Chandler: You know, Ross, some scientists are now saying that, that monkeys and babies are actually different.
Chandler: The guy was hammered, okay? Theres no way, you look like Rosss mother.
Ross: Gas? Wow! Intense.
Ross: They put that in.
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: (To All) Was I talking to her about gas?
(Ross closes the door slowly.)
Phoebe: (walking over to Ross) Ross?
Ross: Dont thank me! If you wanna thank something, thank the volcano that erupted thousands of years ago, killing but perfectly preserving an entire civilization. (Rachel just looks at him.) Heres Warrens number.
Monica and Ross: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 (Ross runs to be caught by Monica, but she moves out of the way)
Ross: (shaking head) Oh Joey, Joey! But still, I mean, it seems like you guys are having a great time together.
Ross: What do you mean?
Ross: Well that I can believe.
Ross: Hey, so uh, y'know how there's something I wanted to talk to you about?
Ross: Look, were just friends now! Okay? Why would I do anything stupid?
Rachel: So. Ross, Ive bugged him about this a million times, hes not gonna change.
Ross: (sits down at the table) Oh, eh, just thinking about Emily getting married tomorrow. (Joey panics.)
Ross: Hm-mmm.
(Ross returns.)
(He turns to get his coat and Monica gives Rachel and Phoebe two thumbs up as Chandler walks over to Ross.)
RACHEL: OK, Ross, listen to me, I am not yours to save.
Ross: What am I looking at?
Joey: Ooh, Ross, look! Look! (Points behind Ross.)
Ross: Me too!
Ross: (turning and looking) What? Where?