words in movies
Ross: Y'know if we ever go to war and youre captured, youre in for a big surprise.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Monica are sitting on the couch playing cards, and Phoebe is working on a new song.]
Ross: Oh, you could just go uh, "greatest of ease (plays air guitar) BAH-bah-bha-bhannn." Then go right into it.
Ross: Well umm, yknow, I used to play.
Ross: Yeah, just a little in high school, but then I really got into it in college. I mean thats-thats when I really found my sound.
(Monica is taking a drink as Ross says that, laughs, and snorts her drink.)
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Really? No. I mean, nah, I havent played in so long, and-and, well its-its really personal stuff, yknow?
Ross: No, you guys, I mean my keyboards are all the way up inNo, yeah, okay. (Runs out.)
[Cut to later that same day, Ross has retrieved his keyboard and is about to debut, "The Sound."]
Ross: Okay, guys.
Ross: Here we go. (Plays one note) Yknow, Ive-Ive never played my stuff for anyone before, so its important that-that you understand its about communicating very private emotions. (Plays another note) Yknow, umm, you should-you should think of umm, my work as wordless sound poems. Thats what Im
(Ross starts to play. He plays a key that has a back beat sound attached to it. Over the background music he plays the sound of a barking dog, a mooing cow, a laser beam, someone coughing, a jackhammer, a doorbell, a police siren, a ray gun, breaking dishes, and for a closer he plays the sound of a loud crash. Basically, the music sucks.)
Ross: Really?! I mean, really?!!
Ross: Wow! Thanks, you guys. Thats uhohhh, I wanna, I wanna play you another piece! Umm! Uh-oh! I left my uh, helicopter sounds on another disk. Ill be right back! Okay? (Runs to fetch them) This is so nice, ImI am so (starts to break up and leaves)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is performing, his music hasnt improved.]
Ross: (His voice is altered to sound like a computer.) Electrifying. (He plays the sound of a ticking clock.) Emphatic time-time-time
[cut back to Ross who finally finishes his so-called song with the same crash from before. He gets some applause, mainly cause hes done.]
Ross: (with the altered voice) Thank you guys-guys-guys
Phoebe: I cant follow Ross! Itd be like those bicycle ridding chimps that followed The Beetles. No.
Monica: Phoebe, Ross sucks!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross has just finished playing.]
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey!
Ross: Oh, thanks, thanks. So Monica tells me that uh, you dont want to play anymore because me and y'know my talent. Is that true?
Ross: Pheebs
Ross: See but, Pheebs that-that is the exact opposite intent of my music. Yknow my music is-is meant to inspire, and if it bothers you this much, then I I wont play anymore.
Ross: Yeah, okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Monica are sitting on the couch and Phoebe is getting coffee as Chandler enters. Ross is also there.]
Ross: Hey Chandler! Saw the new furniture. Very nice.
Ross: What?
Ross: No the-the sad thing is, if you had told him how you felt before you kissed her, knowing Joey, he probably just wouldve just stepped aside.
Ross: Well, I said-I said something to Phoebe.
Ross: Hey, would it be okay if I wrote a song about this.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is playing his music. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
(Ross finally finishes with the same crash, and gets some applause.)
Ross: Thank you, thanks. (Sits down next to the girls) Yeah, I lost it. Yknow, Im not gonna play anymore, (to Phoebe) would you, can you finish my set?
(Phoebe gets up and goes to play, Ross goes over and sits down next to Monica and Rachel.)
Ross: Yeah, like I could lose it.
Ross: I played bad on purpose guys.
Ross: Yeahno, just that last song.
Rachel: Well, oh, Mark, Im doing this for the wrong reasons, y'know? Im just doing it to get back at Ross. Im sorry, its not very fair to you.
Ross: You okay?
Ross: Well we-we dont know for sure. But in my head it-it sounded something like this. (He makes a high pitched noise and Alan doesnt know what to make of it.) Of course, this is just conjecture. Okay, thats uh, thats all for today. (Everyone starts to get up.) Uh Mr. Morse, can I see you for a moment?
(Ross and Susan each gesture for the other to lie down.)
Ross: Sorry.
Ross: Hi. Sorry Im late. Wheres, wheres Carol?
ROSS: [reading his list] Ok, ok, number one: The way you cry at game shows. Number two: how much you love your friends. Number three: the way you play with your hair when you're nervous. Number four: how brave you are for starting your life over. Number five: how great you are with Ben.
[Scene: Rachels Bedroom, Ross is finishing up her make-up.]
Paul: Neither of us like Ross!
Ross and Susan: What? What? What?
Ross: No... No... No. I think I should stay, I think we should both know whats going on.
Ross: I see. So what do you propose to do?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Monica are there.]
ROSS: Get away from me I said no!
Ross: No, no, no. The next time it's gonna be a Hawaii at sunset. [pause] But maybe the time after that!
Ross: Monica, youre so lucky! Hes like the most popular guy in school!!
Rachel: Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight with you Ross! Look, urrgh, maybe we should take a break.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, everyone minus Ross are arriving to inspect the damage. The fire department is still there.]
[Scene: A fancy restraunt (Marcel's). Joey, Ross, Chandler, Susie, and the Director's Assistant are there.]
[Time lapse, still Chandler and Monica's, but only Chandler is there. Enter Ross]
Joey: It's okay, Ross, alright? I totally understand. Of course you're not fine. You're.. You're Ross and Rachel.
Ross: Oh but I-I-I haven't paid you yet!
[Scene: The Lobby, Ross is eating a sandwich as Phoebe rushes up to him.]
Joey: I bet Ross was in on it too. I mean he was conveniently busy.
Ross: Yes but too me he's just, man.
Ross: Well, you can help me!
[Scene: Ross's building, Joey is knocking on a door again. It's again answered by Ross.]
Ross: Oh, you know the sex of the baby? Oh, oh-oh-oh!
Ross: College?
Ross: Susan, go deep.
Ross: Yeah, come on in. Molly?
Ross: Carol, honey, shhh, shhh, everythings gonna be alright.
(Ross is staring blankly into space.)
[Scene: The lobby in Ross's building, we see a flyer that is on the bulletin board that reads, "Are you the Hot Girl who waved at me? If so, give me a call!" and it's signed, Joey 629-9*** (The last couple of numbers have been ripped off). Anyhoo, Ross is getting his mail.]
Ross: Im gonna be a father.
Rachel: So, I still have boxes here. I still have boxes at Rosss, and I have nowhere to live! Wow. I could so easily freak out right now.
Phoebe: (looking through the pizzas) Okay pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni, okay Ross, I know she's pretty and you love her, but is she stupid?! She forgot my vegetarian!
Ross: I'm having a boy! I-I'm having a boy!
Ross: No-no! Ill-Ill (He takes too much and some falls out of his mouth, which starts him laughing.)
Ross: Right. I guess, I guess I should call Emily.
(Ross enters, carrying lasagna)
Ross: You take your time.
Ross: Tonight.
[Ross makes a sorry face.]
Ross: Uh, yeah! I still cant believe she hates Pottery Barn!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Phoebe are there as Rachel and Ross return from the doctors appointment.]
(Everyone stands up. Cut to Ross and Monica in Nana's room.)
Ross: Oh, we just...
Joey: Here, I got five, I got five. (Ross takes the money)
Ross: Come here, Marcel. Sit here. (Marcel wanders off)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there as Ross enters with his all his hair sticking straight up.]
Ross: No, no, Dad, I was just wondering.
ROSS: I'm sorry, my pie was, was in your hood. Now I just have to get the coffee out of that guy's pants and I'll be back in the hospital by 7. [swats at an imaginary insect by his head, guy leaves promptly]
Ross: Oh my god! I'm so sorry, Cheryl. I must have freaked out.
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Phoebe and Ross enter the room.]
Ross: Ah, mustve been fairly obvious since it was the only thing left in your store.
Ross (on the verge of tears): I'm sorry, it must be the pressure of entertaining. I think everyone would feel better if we had some flan.
Rachel: Okay. Um ButOkay, yes Ross and I used to date. And yes we are gonna have a baby. But we are definitely not getting back together.
Ross: No, I missed and hit the door. But, it opened really hard!
Ross: What, you, you really quit your job?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are there. Monica is checking the messages.]
Ross: Would you all relax? It's not that big a deal.
Ross: One-Mississippi, two-Mississippi, switch! Switch! Switch!!
Ross: When I happened to look through the window and I see you kissing a guy you know, for what? A week?
Phoebe: Ross says hi.
Ross: Yeah, if youre really hungry. (Dr. Green stares at him) It was a joke, I made a joke.
Ross: Right. Okay, lets play. Lets go.
Ross: I'm gonna have to give him up.
Ross: Umm, candles, champagne, yeah anniversaries are great. Cause you know love lasts forever, y'know. Nothing like it in this lifetime, money in the bank, so Rachel and I broke up.
Ross: Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... (stops suddenly and turns to look at Monica) Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?!
Ross: Maybe not.
Ross and Chandler: Hey!
Ross: Like buddies.
Ross: (looking at the coffee table where his money was) Hey umm, was-was Monica here?
Ross: Well did you try calling her?
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on. He's happily married. His wife just had twins.
Ross: Yes. Yes. Yes! Yes, I really do! In fact, it's funny, very often, someone who you wouldn't think could-could curl your toes, might just be the one who...
Ross: Thats right Lydia, Elizabeth here is a student and uh, were dating. And you may frown upon that, but were not gonna hide it anymore.
Ross: (To Monica) Lets grab our stuff and get the hell out of here.
Chandler: I do not hate Ross!
Chandler: Marry me. (Both Ross and Chandler hit him.)
Ross: Uh-huh.
Monica: Then you two can, can sneak into the cockpit, and things will start to heat up, and then a stewardess comes in (Ross looks at her.) Ive been watching too much porn.
Ross: D'ya.. uh.. d'ya need any help?
Ross: So you guys having any luck getting rid of the entertainment center?
Ross: Okay, maybe this is so hard, because there aren't 50 states. Let me tell you something, I have 49 states, and there are no more! I-I think, I should be able to eat something.
Ross: Um. I know it says black tie optional, but, um this may be pushing it a little, um.
Ross: (apparently unruffled) Oh. Can I... can I ask who?
Rachel: Ok. Oh God. (To Ross) Get the camera, it’s in the diaper bag.
Ross: And where she's going everyone else'll be dressier?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is ordering something over the phone from a catalog.]
(He happily gestures at Chandler that there was nothing to worry about, then exits. Rachel and Monica are concerned for poor Phoebe, who slides back down next to Ross.)
Ross: He looks so tiny.
Ross: Look, I'm sorry to hear about your tragedy, ok? But the swings are perfectly safe, and besides Emma loves them. You know what, you should come with us and you'll see!
Ross: No, why?
Chandler and Ross: Hey.
Ross: Yeah, hey I-I have clothes, I even pick them out. I mean for, for all you know I could be a fashion..... monger.
CHAN: Does anyone have one from a different paper? Ross, read yours.
[Scene: The Roof, Ross and Joey are banging on the door.]
Ross: What?