words in movies
Ross: Y'know if we ever go to war and youre captured, youre in for a big surprise.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Monica are sitting on the couch playing cards, and Phoebe is working on a new song.]
Ross: Oh, you could just go uh, "greatest of ease (plays air guitar) BAH-bah-bha-bhannn." Then go right into it.
Ross: Well umm, yknow, I used to play.
Ross: Yeah, just a little in high school, but then I really got into it in college. I mean thats-thats when I really found my sound.
(Monica is taking a drink as Ross says that, laughs, and snorts her drink.)
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Really? No. I mean, nah, I havent played in so long, and-and, well its-its really personal stuff, yknow?
Ross: No, you guys, I mean my keyboards are all the way up inNo, yeah, okay. (Runs out.)
[Cut to later that same day, Ross has retrieved his keyboard and is about to debut, "The Sound."]
Ross: Okay, guys.
Ross: Here we go. (Plays one note) Yknow, Ive-Ive never played my stuff for anyone before, so its important that-that you understand its about communicating very private emotions. (Plays another note) Yknow, umm, you should-you should think of umm, my work as wordless sound poems. Thats what Im
(Ross starts to play. He plays a key that has a back beat sound attached to it. Over the background music he plays the sound of a barking dog, a mooing cow, a laser beam, someone coughing, a jackhammer, a doorbell, a police siren, a ray gun, breaking dishes, and for a closer he plays the sound of a loud crash. Basically, the music sucks.)
Ross: Really?! I mean, really?!!
Ross: Wow! Thanks, you guys. Thats uhohhh, I wanna, I wanna play you another piece! Umm! Uh-oh! I left my uh, helicopter sounds on another disk. Ill be right back! Okay? (Runs to fetch them) This is so nice, ImI am so (starts to break up and leaves)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is performing, his music hasnt improved.]
Ross: (His voice is altered to sound like a computer.) Electrifying. (He plays the sound of a ticking clock.) Emphatic time-time-time
[cut back to Ross who finally finishes his so-called song with the same crash from before. He gets some applause, mainly cause hes done.]
Ross: (with the altered voice) Thank you guys-guys-guys
Phoebe: I cant follow Ross! Itd be like those bicycle ridding chimps that followed The Beetles. No.
Monica: Phoebe, Ross sucks!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross has just finished playing.]
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey!
Ross: Oh, thanks, thanks. So Monica tells me that uh, you dont want to play anymore because me and y'know my talent. Is that true?
Ross: Pheebs
Ross: See but, Pheebs that-that is the exact opposite intent of my music. Yknow my music is-is meant to inspire, and if it bothers you this much, then I I wont play anymore.
Ross: Yeah, okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Monica are sitting on the couch and Phoebe is getting coffee as Chandler enters. Ross is also there.]
Ross: Hey Chandler! Saw the new furniture. Very nice.
Ross: What?
Ross: No the-the sad thing is, if you had told him how you felt before you kissed her, knowing Joey, he probably just wouldve just stepped aside.
Ross: Well, I said-I said something to Phoebe.
Ross: Hey, would it be okay if I wrote a song about this.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is playing his music. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
(Ross finally finishes with the same crash, and gets some applause.)
Ross: Thank you, thanks. (Sits down next to the girls) Yeah, I lost it. Yknow, Im not gonna play anymore, (to Phoebe) would you, can you finish my set?
(Phoebe gets up and goes to play, Ross goes over and sits down next to Monica and Rachel.)
Ross: Yeah, like I could lose it.
Ross: I played bad on purpose guys.
Ross: Yeahno, just that last song.
Ross: Fine! Fine! Yknow what? Whatever you want. Okay? Youre the mommy.
Rachel: Ross.
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Uh-huh.
Ross: Wow!
Ross: Not even, say, breaking up with Janice?
Joey: So, Ross and Rachel got married, Monica and Chandler almost got married, do you think you and I should hook up?
Ross: Mmm?
Rachel: (silently) Okay. (Pause) Seriously, breathe louder Ross! Thats great!
Ross: (to Rachel) Oh, youre nice to her.
Ross: Yknow what? The doctor will be in soon, why dont we not speak until then.
Ross: Do them!!
Ross: Yeah? Hop on. (They start dancing and Mona sits down.) Is the pretty lady looking?
(Rachel turns and looks at Ross.)
Ross: Youve got to be kidding me!
Ross: Hey.
Ross: Monica!
Ross: Its sex.
Ross: Monica, what is the matter with you?
Ross: What?!
Rachel: Ross, whats the big deal? So I kissed the guy!
(Rachel turns her head to Ross and Phoebe and mouths, "No way.")
Ross: I chose those, Im a paleontologist.
Ross: Stop it.
Rachel: Ross IWe tried all the spicy food. Its not working.
Ross: Always a great way to get in a mans pants.
Ross: Yknow what?
Ross: I love when you talk dirty to me.
Ross: Forget it.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Not so much.
Ross: Oh, I know.
Ross: Were having a baby.
Ross: What's the part, Anti-man?
Ross: Uh, Pheebs, some people call that breaking and entering.
Rachel: Ross, you stay here and talk, Im gonna go have a baby.
Rachel: Hi! (Ross is stunned.)
Ross: Oh, see I-I dont know if were gonna be hungry at three.
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Thanks. (When shes gone he collapses into Joey.) I-I think Im dying. I really do.
Ross: What-what?
Ross: I really think theyre out of rooms.
Ross: Something couldve happened. All right? She-she really dug my slides. And-and she was definitely giving me the vibe.
Ross: Thank you.
Ross: Yeah.
(They stop when they see Ross who has to struggle to get out of the bed.)
Ross: This is Rachel. (Points at her.)
Ross: Hi Julie.
Ross: Oh, okay.
Ross: What?
Ross: I will, I will. See, I'm waiting for the right moment. (Joey looks at him) What? What, now?
Ross: Uh yes! Thank you.
Ross: Later.
Ross: Oh good.
ROSS: Hey, anyone hear from Phoebe yet?
Ross: Hey, both you guys should be up there with me. I mean, you two are-are my I mean, Im lucky to have just one good (They all start getting emotional.)
Rachel: No Ross! Ross! Ross! My child has no father!
Ross: Oh uh, Im sorry. (Runs out.)
Ross: N-no! Okay? Weve been through this! Were not gonna get married just because shes pregnant, okay?
Ross: Okay, whats up?
Ross: Mom no, come on! Thank you.
Ross: (laughing) Why, why you do, like with the-the toe separators?
Ross: (acknowledging the last part of her sentence) Well...
Phoebe: Right. And with who again? (Ross exits.)
Ross: Yeah-yeah, help me out here, when you come out of the "brain transplant," you are going to be her?
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Ross is explaining to the gang what happened with his mother.]
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey. Whos that?
Chandler: No, no, no, guys. She's right. We should get to work. I'll take stuff out of the closet, Joey you pack 'em and Ross you re-pack whatever Joey packs.
Ross: Youve sentenced him?!
Ross: Wow! Sorry. So uh, how are the new people?
Ross: Yeah? Okay.
Rachel: Ross.
Ross: What? What?
Ross: Ok, ok, now what is wrong with my Snuggles? What, it says I'm a sensitive, warm kinda guy, you know, like a warm, fuzzy bear. Ok, I can pick something else up on the way.
Ross: Just ignore them.
Ross: (to him) Hey! You wanna live to see your baby?!
Ross: Yknow what, I dont know how comfortable I am going to see how hot the sex is between some guy and your girlfriend.
Ross: Emma.
Amy turns around to Phoebe: Emma, Ross wants you.
Ross: Thats it. Thats it.
Amy turns to Ross and Rachel: Why does she keep making that noise?
Ross: The nurse said theyre bringing in another woman.
Ross: (on tape) I know. Hey remember remember the night they got engaged? How uh, you and I almost
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler and Monica are holding the twins. Joey and Phoebe are sitting by the window, while Ross and Rachel are standing together. The apartment is completely empty. Two men are carrying a large dresser.]
[Scene: Rosss apartment, he and Emily are addressing their invitations.]
ROSS: [looking at a glass table with a panther shaped base] Look, check this out. Is it a coffee table, is it a panther? There's no need to decide.
Ross: No, I-I thought it would be more fun this way.
Ross: Uh Rach
Ross: (in a high pitched voice) Monica!
Ross: (To Rachel) Squeeze your legs together and cover the babys ears!
Ross: And yet somehow its true!
(Ross shrugs his shoulders to Rachel and Sick Bastard closes the screen all the way.)
Ross: (softly) Really?
Ross: Oh there you go!
Ross: (running up) Hey! Sorry I kept you waiting so long.
Ross: No-no. We
Ross: Sid you lucky deaf bastard.
Ross: Hey!
[Ross looks at Joey coyly.]
MIKE: I'll get it.� (He lunges across Ross's lap on the sofa to reach the phone.� Ross stares at him with wide eyes.)� Hello?� Ross's place.� Mike speaking.� (pause.� Hands phone to Ross)� It's for you.