words in movies
Ross: Y'know if we ever go to war and youre captured, youre in for a big surprise.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Monica are sitting on the couch playing cards, and Phoebe is working on a new song.]
Ross: Oh, you could just go uh, "greatest of ease (plays air guitar) BAH-bah-bha-bhannn." Then go right into it.
Ross: Well umm, yknow, I used to play.
Ross: Yeah, just a little in high school, but then I really got into it in college. I mean thats-thats when I really found my sound.
(Monica is taking a drink as Ross says that, laughs, and snorts her drink.)
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Really? No. I mean, nah, I havent played in so long, and-and, well its-its really personal stuff, yknow?
Ross: No, you guys, I mean my keyboards are all the way up inNo, yeah, okay. (Runs out.)
[Cut to later that same day, Ross has retrieved his keyboard and is about to debut, "The Sound."]
Ross: Okay, guys.
Ross: Here we go. (Plays one note) Yknow, Ive-Ive never played my stuff for anyone before, so its important that-that you understand its about communicating very private emotions. (Plays another note) Yknow, umm, you should-you should think of umm, my work as wordless sound poems. Thats what Im
(Ross starts to play. He plays a key that has a back beat sound attached to it. Over the background music he plays the sound of a barking dog, a mooing cow, a laser beam, someone coughing, a jackhammer, a doorbell, a police siren, a ray gun, breaking dishes, and for a closer he plays the sound of a loud crash. Basically, the music sucks.)
Ross: Really?! I mean, really?!!
Ross: Wow! Thanks, you guys. Thats uhohhh, I wanna, I wanna play you another piece! Umm! Uh-oh! I left my uh, helicopter sounds on another disk. Ill be right back! Okay? (Runs to fetch them) This is so nice, ImI am so (starts to break up and leaves)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is performing, his music hasnt improved.]
Ross: (His voice is altered to sound like a computer.) Electrifying. (He plays the sound of a ticking clock.) Emphatic time-time-time
[cut back to Ross who finally finishes his so-called song with the same crash from before. He gets some applause, mainly cause hes done.]
Ross: (with the altered voice) Thank you guys-guys-guys
Phoebe: I cant follow Ross! Itd be like those bicycle ridding chimps that followed The Beetles. No.
Monica: Phoebe, Ross sucks!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross has just finished playing.]
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey!
Ross: Oh, thanks, thanks. So Monica tells me that uh, you dont want to play anymore because me and y'know my talent. Is that true?
Ross: Pheebs
Ross: See but, Pheebs that-that is the exact opposite intent of my music. Yknow my music is-is meant to inspire, and if it bothers you this much, then I I wont play anymore.
Ross: Yeah, okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Monica are sitting on the couch and Phoebe is getting coffee as Chandler enters. Ross is also there.]
Ross: Hey Chandler! Saw the new furniture. Very nice.
Ross: What?
Ross: No the-the sad thing is, if you had told him how you felt before you kissed her, knowing Joey, he probably just wouldve just stepped aside.
Ross: Well, I said-I said something to Phoebe.
Ross: Hey, would it be okay if I wrote a song about this.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is playing his music. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
(Ross finally finishes with the same crash, and gets some applause.)
Ross: Thank you, thanks. (Sits down next to the girls) Yeah, I lost it. Yknow, Im not gonna play anymore, (to Phoebe) would you, can you finish my set?
(Phoebe gets up and goes to play, Ross goes over and sits down next to Monica and Rachel.)
Ross: Yeah, like I could lose it.
Ross: I played bad on purpose guys.
Ross: Yeahno, just that last song.
Ross: What, I mean, a little, but no, what, go on.
Ross: Great!
Ross: So, Saturday night!
Ross: Oh, well, uh, this is gonna sound kinda silly, but, do you remember my roommate Chandler Bing?
Ross: Hey, there's Missy Goldberg. You gotta remember her.
Ross: Yeah, why?
Ross: You did?
Ross: C'mon you guys, this is really important to us.
Ross: (shows Tag his sweater tag) Umm, I dont some Italian guy. Come on, read your own label. See you later.
Ross: Too little, too late, Benji!
RACHEL: Well, we're not here to meet guys.� You have a boyfriend, I have a b. . . baby and a Ross.
Rachel: I am so sick of guys. I don't want to look at another guy, I don't want to think about another guy, I don't even want to be near another guy. (Ross crosses arms)
Ross: I guess if everybody else is...
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!)
Chandler: Ross, that was 16 years ago!
Ross: No.
Ross: NO!
Ross: You broke the pact!
Ross: I didn't.
Ross: I don't know what... you're talking about.
Ross: I-I know. Well if something comes up... (walks away)
Ross: Cool! (They start kissing again and Chandler looks shocked)
Ross: (looks disappointed in himself) Man... I... I'm sorry.
Ross: I didn't know you knew about that.
[Scene: We cut back to the present. The reunion where Chandler and Ross are talking.]
Ross: We are even, right?
[Cut to the Jetway, the flight attendant enters, walks past Ross, and approaches an older man with his wife who is also wearing a blue jacket.]
Ross: (entering) Okay, okay, okay, I've got two cabs and no people. Go! Go! Go!
Adrienne: Oh believe me, Ross, I won't be telling anybody about this.
Joey: No. It just seems like Ross is the kind of a guy that would marry a woman on the verge of being a lesbian and then push her over the edge.
Ross: (annoyed) Oh, do you, do you really?
Ross: Hey, where's Rachel?
Ross: Because... the night you kissed Rachel was the night I kissed Rachel for the very first time.
Ross: Did you know Chandler kissed Rachel?
Ross: Well, it matters to me.
Ross: Well, then who was on my bed?
Ross: OH MY GOD!
Ross: Mine.
Ross: (realizing) NO! No, no!
Ross: You were my first kiss with Rachel?
Ross: Wait a minute, does-does everyone feel this way?
Ross: Seriously you guys, what's going on? What are these for?
Ross: That is why!
Ross: Youre gonna be a party person! Those guys rock the most!
Ross: Hi! (he kisses Phoebe)
(cut to Ross, Chandler and Rachel)
Ross: FOOTBALL!
Ross: Oh, man!
Ross: Who cares, AND?
(Ross spots Chandler and starts chasing him around the kitchen table. Chandler runs and hides behind Monica.)
Ross: And it's a wedding! It'd be weird if I'm not in it...
Ross: I'll do it!
Ross: (very excited) Yeah-uh!
Ross: Please, you're going down!
(Cut to Chandler and Ross. Phoebe comes out of the ladies room and they run toward her.)
Ross: So, what did you decide?
Ross: Rach, she’s got like three hairs!
Ross: I'll do it! (Monica approaches)
Ross: Well, I was thinking of taking Emma to the playground!
Emily: But Ross, Im such having a great time! Your sister has just been telling me that you used to dress up like little, old ladies and hold make-believe tea parties.
Ross: Yeah, it kinda grows on you. (They both laugh.) Actually, I wanted to finish talking to you about uh, spring vacation.
Ross: Yeah, yeah. Y'know, now that you kicked the sign, hey! I don't miss Marcel any more!
Ross: I like your bow.
Joey: (interrupting him) Uh Ross! Are there uh, are there naked chicks on that piece of paper?
(Ross enters the room)
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Where's Rach?
Ross: Hey, hey, hey... If you two are happy, then I'm happy for you. (Squeaky.) I'm fine!
Ross: I know what you mean, Ive always wondered how different my life would be if-if Id never gotten divorced.
Ross: I never did anything with Adrienne Turner.
Ross: I'm not! I'm making it easier! Pick me!
Ross: (waving his fist in the air in triumph) YES, YES!
Ross: Hey, yknow whats weird? After you guys get married, when you introduce me to people youre gonna have to say, "This is my brother-in-law Ross." Not, "My friend Ross," "brother-in-law Ross." Thats weird isnt it?
[Scene: The corridor. Ross and Joey have just arrived.]
Ross: She's putting words in your mouth!
Ross: Oh, I will.
[Scene: Rachels Room, she is taking the ring out of Rosss jacket, looks at it, and puts it on her finger as Joey enters.]
Ross: I'm not supposed to tell you!
Ross: Oh no. Dad! Dad! What (He goes to open one of her boxes and it rips apart.) Oh God everythings ruined! Dad, shes gonna be crushed!
Rachel: Ross, I have been walking around like this since the plane! I canyou have so crossed a line. (Heads for the bathroom)
(Ross and Chandler look shocked)
Ross: (skeptical) That doesn't sound like you... That's Monica talking!
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's room, Ross is drinking a beer while Rachel is examining herself in the mirror.]
[Scene: N.Y.U. Paleontology department, Ross is putting up the grades on the message board.]
ROSS: I'm getting ready for the water skiing. [Mr. Greene opens the door which pulls Ross in] How are you doing?
Ross: Yeah, and to save you from any embarrassment umm, I think maybe I should talk first.
Chandler and Ross: I'll do it!
Ross: I'll...
Ross: Oh my God! What if, what if they get married? Then hed be the stepfather of my child.
Ross: Poor baby, youre so tired. Rach, I didnt propose to you, Joey didnt propose to you, and Chandler didnt propose to you.
Ross: (pointing at Amy, shouting) No more falafel for you!
Joey: Oh uh, hey. Not as good as this guy! (Grabs Ross around the shoulders.) He brought Twizlers!
Ross: It's the dog.
Ross: Hes right, even if its to say something complementary. (He stops and thinks about what he just said.)
Chandler: Oh come on Ross, I think were all losers here.
Rachel: Oh! Molly! You're not Ross.
Ross: Freaked out? Hey no, Im not freaked out! Im indignant! As a consumer!
Ross: Uh Joey...
Ross: Okay. (They split it.) You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school, I had a, um, major crush on you.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is hurrying Chloe out the door.]