words in movies
Ross: Y'know if we ever go to war and youre captured, youre in for a big surprise.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Monica are sitting on the couch playing cards, and Phoebe is working on a new song.]
Ross: Oh, you could just go uh, "greatest of ease (plays air guitar) BAH-bah-bha-bhannn." Then go right into it.
Ross: Well umm, yknow, I used to play.
Ross: Yeah, just a little in high school, but then I really got into it in college. I mean thats-thats when I really found my sound.
(Monica is taking a drink as Ross says that, laughs, and snorts her drink.)
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Really? No. I mean, nah, I havent played in so long, and-and, well its-its really personal stuff, yknow?
Ross: No, you guys, I mean my keyboards are all the way up inNo, yeah, okay. (Runs out.)
[Cut to later that same day, Ross has retrieved his keyboard and is about to debut, "The Sound."]
Ross: Okay, guys.
Ross: Here we go. (Plays one note) Yknow, Ive-Ive never played my stuff for anyone before, so its important that-that you understand its about communicating very private emotions. (Plays another note) Yknow, umm, you should-you should think of umm, my work as wordless sound poems. Thats what Im
(Ross starts to play. He plays a key that has a back beat sound attached to it. Over the background music he plays the sound of a barking dog, a mooing cow, a laser beam, someone coughing, a jackhammer, a doorbell, a police siren, a ray gun, breaking dishes, and for a closer he plays the sound of a loud crash. Basically, the music sucks.)
Ross: Really?! I mean, really?!!
Ross: Wow! Thanks, you guys. Thats uhohhh, I wanna, I wanna play you another piece! Umm! Uh-oh! I left my uh, helicopter sounds on another disk. Ill be right back! Okay? (Runs to fetch them) This is so nice, ImI am so (starts to break up and leaves)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is performing, his music hasnt improved.]
Ross: (His voice is altered to sound like a computer.) Electrifying. (He plays the sound of a ticking clock.) Emphatic time-time-time
[cut back to Ross who finally finishes his so-called song with the same crash from before. He gets some applause, mainly cause hes done.]
Ross: (with the altered voice) Thank you guys-guys-guys
Phoebe: I cant follow Ross! Itd be like those bicycle ridding chimps that followed The Beetles. No.
Monica: Phoebe, Ross sucks!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross has just finished playing.]
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey!
Ross: Oh, thanks, thanks. So Monica tells me that uh, you dont want to play anymore because me and y'know my talent. Is that true?
Ross: Pheebs
Ross: See but, Pheebs that-that is the exact opposite intent of my music. Yknow my music is-is meant to inspire, and if it bothers you this much, then I I wont play anymore.
Ross: Yeah, okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Monica are sitting on the couch and Phoebe is getting coffee as Chandler enters. Ross is also there.]
Ross: Hey Chandler! Saw the new furniture. Very nice.
Ross: What?
Ross: No the-the sad thing is, if you had told him how you felt before you kissed her, knowing Joey, he probably just wouldve just stepped aside.
Ross: Well, I said-I said something to Phoebe.
Ross: Hey, would it be okay if I wrote a song about this.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is playing his music. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
(Ross finally finishes with the same crash, and gets some applause.)
Ross: Thank you, thanks. (Sits down next to the girls) Yeah, I lost it. Yknow, Im not gonna play anymore, (to Phoebe) would you, can you finish my set?
(Phoebe gets up and goes to play, Ross goes over and sits down next to Monica and Rachel.)
Ross: Yeah, like I could lose it.
Ross: I played bad on purpose guys.
Ross: Yeahno, just that last song.
Ross walks away with a face of yeah ok.
Ross: Hey dude, you okay? Sorry about before.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Ross: Emma.
Ross: Hey, I helped you find Waldo!
Ross walks over: Too far, Amy. Too far.
Ross: Can you please not do that feet first? You know where his injury is! Severed toe, you just said it!
Ross: So, so now do I get Joey?
(She walks over to Central Perk and enters to find Ross sitting on the couch, eating crab cakes. She takes off her coat while groaning and shuddering.)
Ross: I dont know what Im going to do. That date starts in like an hour.
Ross: Dad seriously! Yknow you really should see someone about that!
ROSS: Yeah.
Minister: Ross and Emily have made their declarations and it gives me great pleasure to declare them husband and wife.
ROSS: No.
ROSS: So . . .� Welcome.
Ross: Yeah, I thought we'd be groomsmen, but wouldn't they have asked us by now? When did they ask you to be their bridesmaid?
Ross: (shocked) You dont have a valid drivers licenseOkay that is it! Pull over right now!
ROSS: Yeah.
Ross: Well, cant you at least stall her a little? Ill-Ill go back to some of the places I went last night.
ROSS: Okay.� (They sit.)� So, um, Phoebe tells me you, ah, you play piano.
ROSS: (pause) That's okay.� We'll talk about (pause) something else.� (They pause.� They drink.)
ROSS: Um . . . ah . . . you know, I'm divorced.� Um, Phoebe, ah . . . Phoebe said you . . . You've been divorced?
Ross: I guess it all started when Rachel got this new job. (he sits down at the table.)
Janice: Hi! Hi sweetheart! This is my husband Sid, I dont think youve met him. Ross, Rachel, this is Sid. I nabbed him a year ago at the dermatologists office. Thank God for adult acne huh? (Does the laugh.)
Ross: I am like Indiana Jones.
Ross: Well youre gonna be a wonderful grandma. (They hug.)
ROSS: I don't know.� We could look it up.
Phoebe: It does! How would you feel if you couldnt share your cooking? Or-or imagine how Ross would feel if he couldnt teach us about dragons.
Rachel: Okay! Okay! Umm, Websters Dictionary defines marriage as (Ross and Joey start writing.) Okay!! Forget that! That sucks!! Okay, never mind! Forget it! Umm, umm, okay, uh I met, I-I met, I met Monica when we were just a couple of six year olds and I became friends with Chandler when he was 25, although he seemed like a six year old.
Joey: So, between her and me being friends, and her history with Ross, it just isnt going to happen. It would be like you falling in love with a cat.
Ross: Youre fast and irresponsible. That adds up to a bad driver.
PHOEBE: What about Ross?� What about your moment?� Don't you want to talk to Ross about it?
ROSS: So soon?
PHOEBE: Really?� You're moving on from Ross?
ROSS: Okay.� Well, thanks, ah, thanks for the beer.
ROSS: Ah yeah.� Good times.
Ross: (quietly confident) I think we do. Why dont we go inside? (They go inside.) Look uh, I know why youre here.
ROSS: Uh, hi.
ROSS: Maybe you should look up "fascinating."
Rachel: Ross look, look this is good for you. Okay? Lets face it, so far the guys not lovin ya! But I can turn that around! I got the inside track! We can all go out to dinner, yknow? And I can talk you up! Ross, the guy is a very, very successful lawyer!
Ross: (taking the flyer) Apparently Phoebes mother also goes by the name Julio.
ROSS: Oh God.� (He hugs Rachel)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Rachel and Phoebe enter.)
Ross: ...nauseous, I'm physically nauseous. What am I supposed to do, huh? Call immigration? (pauses, looks suddenly inspired) I could call immigration!
[Scene: Ross and Rachels I guess I have to call it that now. Rachel is reading on the couch as Ross enters.]
ROSS: (holds up the message) Uh, Rach.
ROSS: Hey you guys.� (He sits.)
Ross: Oh my God! Rach-Rach, are-are-are you sure?
[Rachel, seeing what he did for her, gets up, walks across the room, and kisses Ross]
Ross: You're really not coming back?
Ross: I can't get *enough* dinosaurs!
Ross: Do you realise that man has cried in our apartment three times...? Huh? I haven't cried that many times since I moved in.
Ross: What, now youre not even taking to me? (moves over to the coffee table) Look Rachel, I-Im sorry, okay, Im sorry, I was out of my mind. I thought Id lost you, I didnt know what to do. Come on! Come on, how insane must I have been to do something like this? Huh? I-I dont cheat right, I, thats not me, Im not Joey!
Ross: Your page said come to the hospital, what? What was it? What happened?
Ross: Dear Mary-Angela. Hi. Hows it going. This is the hardest letter Ive ever had to write. (to Chandler) What the hells a matter with you? How do you think Joeys going to react when he finds out that you blew off his sister with a letter?
(Steve goes over to look at Ross who's trying to look cool, but has some frosting on his lip.)
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear. (Chandler and Ross stare at him) What? Ross, Ross, would you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?
Ross: Oh. (looks at his watch) Oh-oh. (takes a drink of coffee and resumes reading the letter)
Ross: I cant believe someone would do that for a grade.
Ross: Oh my God. Ohh, my little sister and my best friend shaking up. Oh, thats great. Thats great. (Kisses and hugs her.)
Ross: (shocked at her beauty) Cassie?!
[Ross enters, distraught.]
(Mike knocks on Ross's door.� Ross opens it.)
Ross: Okay, how about you flew to London to stop my wedding! Ah, how about you told me you loved me after I was already married!
Ross: Yeah!
Joey: And for Ross, Mr. Sweet-tooth.
Ross: All right everyone, lift! (They and try to lift the car, of course it doesnt raise up) And slide!! (Everyone leans over, but the car still does not move.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Monica, Chandler, and Joey are there as Ross enters with Phoebe.]
Ross: I'm sorry Chandler, but this, this is really important to me.
(Ross turns around and walks back to Ben.)
Ross: (to Chandler) What are you doing?
Ross: Thank you, but, but you, you gotta leave.
Ross: (in a low voice) Answer faster, answer faster!
Ross: Oh, nothin much. Just trying to figure out what Im gonna do for dinner.
Ross: Look, Chandler, its my joke. But, hey, if it makes you feel any better they dont print the name, so it doesnt really matter who gets credit, right?
Ross: I could, yeah, I can do that.
Ross: (in the same low voice) Answer better, answer better!
Rachel: Alright thanks, oh Ross could you stop by the coffee house and get me a muffin?
Ross: Hey you know what? You know what? To avoid this little thing in the future, let's just say, you and me, never having sex again.
Ross: Thats right, I love you! And-and Im gonna play with you all the time.
Ross: (To Monica) Youre drunk! Mom and dad are gonna be maaaaadd! Maybe Im a little drunk.
Rachel: Ross, thank you. Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie?
Phoebe: (interrupting) Uh-huh, me too. Ross, maybe I should've specified that I'd be needing a grown up doctor.
Ross: Oh yeah, nobody knows. And we're not supposed to ask.
Ross: Oh my god...
Ross: Wow, it really is!
Ross: Well isnt there something you can do to earn a little extra money? I mean, cant-cant you pick up, I dont know, an extra shift here?
Ross: Oh, hey...
Rachel: I hate when Ross is right!
Ross: Hey you guys!
Ross: Just then or-or all the time, cause we-we have jobs yknow.
Ross: Yeah.
Rachel: (gasps) Who got married?! (Ross is as surprised to hear this as she is.)
Ross: Okay, (gets the money) so, do you make the pizzas in one of those uh, wood-burning ovens?
[Time Lapse, Ross and the woman are now in a state of partial undress and are standing in front of the head librarian with two security guards watching them.]
Ross: Yeah. The bartender said that they split up into two search parties, the herbivores and the carnivores. (pause) You know, we as a group are not the coolest.
Joey: I cant believe Ross went out with Rachels sister! When Chandler made out with my sister I was mad at him for 10 years.
Ross: Oh, I'm sorry, did I say "invest it"? I meant "be cool and piss it all away" (Joey and Chandler pleased)
Ross: Okay. Now-now-now should I climb down your front so were face to face or-or should I climb down your back so were-were butt to face.
Monica: Ross used to stay up every Saturday night to watch Golden Girls!