words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there as someones cell phone starts to ring with one of those fancy ring tones.]
Ross: I think its coming from your bag.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Im going out with Eric! Ooh, this day is really gonna be so much better than I thought it was gonna be. Oh Ross, I cant make lunch. (Exits.)
Ross: So apparently Im available for lunch.
Ross: Youre moving?
Ross: So does-does Joey know youre moving?
Ross: Thats not really porn.
Ross: Hey, yknow what and if youre looking for a place? I just heard in the elevator this morning that a woman in my building died.
Ross: Well I dont know, but how-how great would that be huh? You living in my building. I could help take care of the baby. I can come over whenever I want. (Rachel looks at him.) With your permission.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Yeah. No. No youre right.
Ross: Yeah.
[Scene: Rosss Building, they are approaching the apartment of the woman who died. Ross knocks on the door and a woman answers it.]
Ross: Hi. Im Ross Geller. I live in the building.
Ross: I-I heard about Mrs. Verhoeven passing away and Im so sorry for your loss.
Ross: What?
Ross: Oh, thank God!
Ross: Of course! Uh yeah, she and I would talk all the time in-in (Rachel pokes her head in and starts to look around) the laundry room. (Pushes Rachel out of the way.)
Ross: Yknow I would its just painful.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is reading some book and Gunther serves him a cup of coffee.]
Ross: Thanks for the coffee, or bedankt voor de koffie, Gunter. (He translates that phrase into Dutch.)
Ross: Yeah, were done.
Ross: Ezel? Ezel? Ezel? (Looks it up in his book.)
Joey: (entering) Hey Ross! Listen, do you want to go see that new Imax movie on tide pools?
Ross: Really?!
Ross: Sweet!
Ross: Okay I-I just have to stop by my place first.
Joey: To tape the game? You do this every time Ross, youre not gonna be on TV!
Ross: No-no, I-I have to see if this apartment became available.
Ross: Its not for me, its for Rachel.
Ross: Yeah, but when the baby comes shes gonna want to move.
Ross: Yeah, you didnt expect her to live there with a baby did you?
Ross: (finds the word in the book) Ezel! (Reads the translation.) Hey Gunther! Youre an ezel!
Ross: Damnit!
Joey: Ooh. (Notices the pizza, grabs a slice, and takes a bite.) So umm, I was talkin to Ross and he said you were looking for a new place.
Joey: Yknow I blame Ross for this.
[Scene: Mrs. Verhoevens Apartment, Ross is back to inquire about the elder Verhoevens health or lack there of.]
Ross: Hi. How is she?
Ross: (happily) Oh. (Realizes then sadly) Oh. Well I uh, I brought her some bloemen. (Flowers in Dutch.)
Ross: Oh I dont know that it would.
Ross: All right then. (Follows her in and checks the place out.)
Ross: Well, the old lady died. And how do I know? Her dying wish was for one last kiss. But I dont care, (To Rachel) because you got the apartment. Yes!
Ross: (stutters looking for words) Ezels!!
Ross: I knew all I had to do was let the material speak for itself. Everyones all, "Ross you have to be funny and sexy." Well, I proved them wrong! And now, Im gonna pass the news onto Joey and Chandler.
Ross: Ok now, remember, when you get to the museum, Monet is not spelt M-O-N-A-Y. I just... I wrote that out phonetically for you.
Ross: Well, I lost. Some little girl loaned her uniform to her nineteen year old sister, who went down to the U.S.S. Nimitz, and sold over 2,000 boxes.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, the cookie trying period has pasted. Monica, Phoebe, and Ross are reflecting on the days events.]
Ross: Oh yeah, I'm sure he's gonna give you a job. Maybe make you his SEXretary.
Ross: Sorry, Im kinda keeping this one on the Q.T.
(Rachel shows Ross the definition on the dictionary, giving him a smug look; then she squints at the dictionary, as though unsure what to make out of it)
Rachel: No! Ross, no! It is not fine! Eh-eh-according to my plan I should already be with the guy I wanna marry!
(Ross leans in and kisses her. They both look at each other for a moment, and then embrace in a more passionate kiss, only to be interrupted by Joey and Chandler coming outside.)
Ross: (pause) Ross? I... I grew up on your block! We had Thanksgiving together last year... I had a baby with your sister!
Ross: By using CT scans and computer imaging we can in a very real way, bring the Mesozoic era into the 21st century.
Ross: Hi! Yeah! Tommys in line for the bathroom and someone just cut in front of him, I think hes gonna snap. (Hes watching very intently)
Ross: Hey, hey, it's fine. It's totally fine. We've got plenty of margaritas. It's all good.
Ross: They're still, they're still not coming on man and the lotion and the powder have made a paste!
Ross: Monica's right, swing dancing can be tricky. I'm gonna use the phone. I gotta cancel those five giant teddy bears I sent to Emily. (Looks at the rose mulch.) My God, think of the massacre.
Ross: (from the floor) Keep pushing!
Ross: Get him! GET HIM! Get him! Get- YESSS! Not laughing now, are ya pal!
Ross: (enters) Wow, couples who live together do start to look alike. So, Mondler...uh, what uh, what cha doin?
Ross: Oh-oh, Rach! I was just messin around! (Shes stunned) Like you did last night when I had to pee?
Ross: Oh-oh yeah, you-you came up to me and asked if I could do you a favor, and my Uncle Murray came up to you and handed you a check. And then you said, "Why do they call it a check? Why not a Yugoslavian?" (Chandler laughs.) Yeah, then you did that.
Ross: (sees the chick) Ohhh, hey! All right, listen, I-I have that TV thing in like two hours, and I need your help, okay? What do you think? (takes out two suits) This blue suit, or this brown one?
[Ross grabs the gas can he brought along, and walks through Joeys sign destroying it.]
Ross: Hey, I am not unemployed. Im on sabbatical!
Ross: (entering) Hey! So ah, what did the insurance company say?
ROSS: Yeah, but not very well, unless 14-across, 'Gershwin musical' actually is bitemebitemebitemebiteme.
(Ross is dumbfounded to see Mike instead of David)
Ross: (now fully awake) Are we really in Montreal?!
Ross: I gotta say, I have not had sex a lot of times before, this is the worst ever.
Ross: (outside her room, talking by himself) Haven't had sex in four months, I should get a medal for that!
Ross: Right, so that's a firm "no". I cannot believe this, I just keep striking out.
Ross: Par-tay!
Ross: ... and while there are certainly vast differences between these Mesozoic fossiles and the example of Homo erectus...
Ross: Oh. Yeah. (Sarcastically) Uh Chandler let me win. No, Chandlers really strong. Oh my arm is so sore. Oh nurse! (Waddles over to Mona.)
Ross: (covering his ears and screaming) La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! Okay, okay, yeah, I would have been devastated but, I would still want to be with you. Because its, I mean its you.
Ross: And I'm fine never having heard it... (Rachel looks at Ross in a "why do you say that" manner) Rach, can I... can I see you for a sec?
Ross: What? Of course I did! You uh, you sat next to Sleepy Sleeperson.
ROSS: No no, no no, it's not flashy, not for a Goodfella.
Ross: So honey this uh, this threesome thing umm, I mean how-how are you gonna start to find
ROSS: There might be, a teeny, tiny, possibility.
ROSS: [reluctantly] Can I come over tomorrow and pick up Fluffy Meowington's cat toy.
Chandler: So, Ross and I are going to Disneyland and we stop at this restaurant for tacos. And when I say restaurant, I mean a guy, a hibachi, and the trunk of his car. So Ross has about 10 tacos. And anyway, were on Space Mountain and Ross starts to feel a little iffy.
Ross: (interrupts him) Okay, that's right, yes, but on Hanukkah, uh, we sing, uh (Sings) Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, I made you out of clay.
Ross: (with a frozen smile on his face, realizing something's wrong with Jarvis) Ok... now... now we're just holding hands! (pulls his hand away)
Ross: The test is ready.
Ross: Ah, so then his plane didn't explode in a big ball of fire?... Just a dream I had- but, phew.
Chandler: Because weddings are a great place to meet women, and when I dance, I look like this (Starts to dancing really, really, really badly. Ross enters behind him and he stops.)
Ross: It felt like a 'big guy' moment.
Elizabeth: Bye Ross.
Ross: Here's my retainer!
(Monica passes the Envelopes on to Ross, Joey and Rachel.)
Ross: At least I know she's not going out with me to get into R rated movies.
ROSS: Wow, it, it's neat learning about submarines.
Ross: Oh my God! Im sorry, I was talking to this nurse, completely forgot.
Phoebe: nothing, I'm excited about our date, Mike this is Ross Geller this is Mike Haaaaa (starts crying)
Ross: Its a clown kit! Clown kit!
Emily: Ross, I'm only ringing to say stop harassing my relatives. Good-bye!
Ross and Rachel: (bowing) Hello!
Ross: Well, it turns out that she is going to Daytona for spring break woo-hoo. That means, that means wet T-shirt contests, guys doing shots off of girls bodies, waking up next to people you dont even know
Ross: Well, you may wanna steer clear of the word 'dumped'. Chances are he's gonna be this, this broken shell of a man, y'know, so you should try not to look too terrific, I know it'll be hard. Or, y'know, uh, hey!, I'll go down there, and I'll give Barry back his ring, and you can go with Carol and Susan to the OB/GYN...
ROSS: This screen is amazing, I mean Dick Van Dyke is practically life-size.
Rachel: Ross, you know what? She may need one..We're just going to have to make our peace with that!
Ross: I feel great. I feel- great, I fleel great.
Ross: (after a short hesitation) Fine.
ROSS: KARL!
Ross: With such a sad history.
Rachel: Ross, get over it! Its not like she hates you.
Ross: She didnt photograph well!
Ross: (looking astonished) What? NO! I am not going to give them Ben!
Ross: Come on you guys, it's no big deal! (He turns around and shows him his thing.)
Ross: Uhhhhhh that-that may be weird.
Ross: Oh, guys, you should've seen him. 'Read 'em and weep.'
Ross: Yes, it's a deadly but beautiful sport. (Does a karate chop, then does a little dance-type sway.)
Ross: Well, Chandlers my oldest friend, but Joeys myNo! Ah! (points at Rachel)
Ross: Well, not really. I mean technically its-its not against the rules or anything, but it is frowned upon. Especially by that professor we ran into last night, Judgey von Holierthanthou.
Ross: We got honourable mention in the brother/sister dance category! Look, its almost fake midnight, do we really have any other choice?
Ross: (speaking without pause, agitated) Oh yeah? Yeah? I wonder why? What could that smarmy letch possibly want?
Ross: (staring at Susan) You've tasted it? You've tasted it.
Ross: Doorknob! Doorknob!
Ross: Its a rug. (Jill winces.)
Ross: Okay, uh, about last night, um, Chandler.. you didn't tell... (Joey shakes his head) Okay, 'cause I'm thinking- we don't need to tell Chandler, I mean, it was just a kiss, right? One kiss? No big deal? Right?
Ross: you know I really admire your whole dating attitude, it's so healthy I'm always like is this moving to fast? Is this moving to slow? Where's this going?
Ross: I-I'm, I'm having a boy?
ROSS: [condescendingly] Dysprosium? Try mendelevium.
[The next clip is from The One Where Ross Finds Out]
(Paul reveals his presence by laughing, thus concluding standard sitcom joke 2B. Paul then pulls Ross aside to have a little chat with him and tells the rest of the group that hell just be one second.)
Ross: No! No! NotI dont mean I-I see her as a twelve-year-old girl! I mean I-I have a son, whos umm six and I still think of him as a baby.
Ross: I thought it was gonna be a closed casket.
Ross: Huh? I know, I know. Who am I? David Bowe? (Shakes his head around, pretending like hes jamming.)
Phoebe: Okay, I know. Hold on. (She walks over to the couch.) Hey Ross?
Ross: So do I. (Slowly walks in.) Okay Rach, before anything happens (He takes off his coat) I just want to lay down a couple of ground rules. (Turns back to face her.) This is just about tonight. I don't to go through with this if it's going to raise the question of "Us." (Rachel's confused) Okay? I just want this to be (Kicks off his left shoe) about what it is! (Kicks off the other one.)
Ross: No anchovies.
Ross: 'Pwease, Aunt Monica, pwease?' Oh, unclench. You're not even gonna be there.
Ross: The first date we've had in months, and they were both such disasters.
Joey: Oh uh, me and Ross can be the judges.
Ross: Look. Look, I wasnt going to say anything to you, but... All right, I dont think you should be seeing Tommy anymore.
Ross: 'That thing'? This is how you greet guests at a party? Let me ask you something, if I showed up here with my new girlfriend, she wouldn't be welcome in your home?
Joey: Hello! (Listens.) Oh yeah! (To Chandler) It's the apartment manager; Ross put us down as references. (To the apartment manager.) Ross is the greatest guy you'll ever meet! Yeah, he's very reliable.
Joey: (stomps on the footrest which pops Ross up into a sitting position) The trail from the woman you did it with to the woman you hope never finds out who did it! (slapping his hands with each word) You always have to think about the trail!
Ross: Do you know the word crapweasel?
Rachel: Ross! Your honor, rest assured relationship ended like two years ago! (To the stenographer) And could you strike "Consummated like bunnies" from the record?