words in movies
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Ross is playing with Emma on the couch after just changing her diaper.]
Ross: And that's why, no matter what mommy says, we really were on a break. (baby talk) Yes we were! Yes we were! (picks Emma up) Come here gorgeous. (puts her on his knees and talks to her) Oh! Look at you! You are the cutest little baby ever! You're just a... a little bitty baby, you know that? But you've got... (in a softer voice) You've got big beautiful eyes... Yes you do... and a... and a big round belly. (emphasises the B's) Big baby butt! I like big butts. (raps) I like big butts and I cannot lie / you other brothers can't deny / when a girl walks in with an itty, bitty, waist / and a round thing in your face you get...(Emma laughs) Oh my God, Emma... you're laughing! Oh my God, you've never done that before, have you? You never done that before... Daddy made you laugh, huh? Well, daddy and Sir Mix Alot... What? What? You... you wanna hear some more? Uhm...(raps) My anaconda don't want none / unless you got buns hon... (Emma laughs again and Ross looks worried) I'm a terrible father!
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel enters the apartment.]
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Guess what? I made Emma laugh today.
Ross: Yeah, and it was uhm... it was like a real little person laugh too. It was... it was like uhm... (Ross tries to impersonate Emma's laugh, but it comes out very squeaky, very high pitched. He laughs about himself but then looks at Rachel, realises that it sounded weird and straightens his face.) Only... only not creepy.
Ross: I uhm... Well, I sang... (Rachel gasps) well actually I rapped... Baby Got Back... (Rachel's face changes from excited to angry)
Ross: But you know what, if you think about it, it actually promotes a healthy uhm... body image... because... even big butts or uhm... juicy doubles.
Ross: Please don't take her away from me!
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Emma is sitting in her chair on the apothecary table and Rachel is trying to make her laugh.]
Rachel: Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mommy... Please? Please laugh for mommy... (Rachel makes a funny face, sticking her tongue out, making a farting noise and using her hands as antlers, wiggling her fingers... No response from Emma...) Not funny huh? Oh so, is it... only offensive novelty rap? Or maybe just, you know, rap in general? 'Cause mommy can rap... (Rachel tries to rap and makes weird movements with her arms in the process.) My name is mommy and I'm here to say / that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap... Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody... (Rachel's face is telling "Oh what am I doing? The things I have to go through... and she starts to rap) I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face... (Emma starts to laugh) Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! (Rachel now really gets into it, and her insecure movements start getting better) I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo... (Rachel picks up Emma and Ross now enters)
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Oh I know, isn't it? Ooh... what'd you do to get her to laugh?
Ross: You sang Baby Got Back didn't you?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's. Emma is in her bed and Ross and Rachel are rapping and dancing for her.]
Ross: She sweat, wet. got it going like a turbo 'vette.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Hell yeah!
Ross: Shake it!
Ross: Shake it!
Ross: Baby got back (Then Ross turns around and sees their friends standing in the doorway)
Ross: Rachel please! That is so inappropriate!
Ross: That little naked guy would be me.
Ross: Got me.
Ross: (looking) Nono, that would be me again.
Ross: (running into the hall, in slow motion) You'll never get me, Joe!!! (he then pretends that he gets shot repeatedly and falls back against Joey and Chandler's door, dead.)
<Everyone is shocked and Monica faints and Ross catches her>
(Ross laughs.)
Ross: (quietly) Dude!
Ross: Hey!
Chandler: No, no, Ross and Rachel will be back soon and then I gotta go to the office (Pulls another balloon out of his mouth) Am I producing them?
Ross: You cant do that!
Ross: Well, why dont you just start with something simple. Like umm, Monica from the moment I met you, I knew I loved you.
Ross: Okay, do-do you have a good grip?
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Only way to fly.
Rachel: So it seemed that my prom date had stood me up, so Ross selflessly, offered to take me.
Ross: No way!
Ross: HEY, SHE'S FAST!! OKAY?!! (Chandler is so shocked at Ross's outburst that he drops his spoon and backs up) Oh! You-you think you can be beat me? Let's go! Outside!!
Ross: What do you think youre doing?!
(Ross shuts it off and they get out.)
Rachel: So Joey I just hooked Ross and Chandler up with some tuxedos for the wedding, do you need one?
Ross: With you?! Yeah right!
Ross: So thats the only reason she could be here huh? It couldnt have anything to do with the fact that-that maybe Im a good listener and I uh I put on a great slide show!
Ross: Dad, dad, dad, I'm talkin' about the whole uh, baby thing. Did you uh, ever get this sort of... panicky, "Oh my god I'm gonna be a father" kind of a thing?
MONICA: [to Ross] Looks like he's playin' baseball.
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, Rachel is trying to put on eye liner with her left hand, as Ross is setting out her shoes.]
Joey: Come on, Ross, that didnt mean anything! She just had the baby, she was all freaked out about doing it alone, she would have said yes to anybody.
Ross: Yeah, Ill get right on that.
Ross: Here it comes.
Ross: What can I say, you missed your chance. From now on the only person whos going to enjoy these bad boys (holds up his hands) is me. (Quickly realizes what he said and exits disgustedly.)
Ross: Dear Lord!!
Ross: Oh my God.
Ross: Well she should, it was taken ten years ago!
Ross: I can handle the stick!!
Ross: Who?
Ross: People need juice!
Ross: What?! What does he want?! I wasnt doing anything!
Carol: (running over and grabbing the phone away from Ross) (on phone) Phoebe, hang on a second. (Hands Ross her keys) Here, take my car, go pick up your friends.
Ross: Good evening officer.
Ross: I know. I know.
Ross: (mortified) Hi.
[Time lapse, Ross still laying a lot out the states.]
Ross: Oh, where are you guys going?
Ross: Nope.
Chandler: Do I still call you Ross?
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: No problem.
Rachel: (seeing Ross and Bonnie inside Central Perk) Oh my God! Phoebe look, its Ross and that girl.
ROSS: OK, got the music, got the dinner. Oh and check it out, I made Marcel's favorite dish, banannacake.
ROSS: That, that is funny. That is painfully funny. No, wait. Wait, yeah, that's just painful
Ross: Well I am that. And that whole rage thing is definitely behind me.
[Cut to Mona and Joey clearing the dining room table for the grudge match between Chandler and Ross.]
Ross: Thanks. (he takes the card) Hey, I know where this place is! It used to be an X-rated video... (pauses when he realizes what he is saying) florist. (he goes away)
Ross: Dude! How-how did you write this?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, his massage client is on the table and Ross is reluctantly starting his massage. He spreads some lotion in his hands, and doesnt like it.]
Ross: I gotta get going. Bye Chandler.
[Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Geller talking to Ross.]
ROSS: No, you let me fini...
Mr Zelner: That’s great. I worry about little Ross. He’s always reading, he's collecting rocks and he’s obsessed with dinosaurs.
Mr. Geller: Doctor Ross Geller.
ROSS: Better not be doin' these in order.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is entering and Mona from the wedding recognizes him.]
Ross: Hey, wheres Chandler?
Ross: (walks down the stairs and grabs the flowers out of the vase on the endtable) Okay dad.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Is uh, is Monica here?
Ross: He left that.
(Ross laughs and Phoebe points harder.)
Ross: (scared) I will, I will find him.
Ross: (pause) I think on some level, you-you sabotaged your own audition so that Ben would get the part.
Ross: Oh damn!
Ross: Gunther have you uh, have you seen Chandler?
Ross: Yes. Yes. Dont worry. Everythings fine. Well uh, well see you tomorrow at the wedding.
Ross: Why?!
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, continued from earlier. Ross and Mr. Geller are still deciding what to do.]
Ross: (shocked) Gunther?!
Ross: What? Your-your list?
Ross: (sitting down) Hey, what are you guys, what are you guys talking about?
Joey: (approaching) Ross, hey, the bands ready outside for your first dance with Emily, so
Ross: Come on thats not fair! I mean you havent even heard me play!
Ross: Your joke? Well, I think the Hef would disagree, which is why he sent me a check for one hundred ah-dollars.
Rachel: (closing the door) Ross said theres still no word from Chandler.
Rachel: Ross, things aren't gonna be weird between us, right? I mean was that just the stupidest thing, me telling you that?
Ross: Look, I don't care it starts at eight, we can't be late.
Ross: No! Hey! Hey! We cant!
Ross: Why?!
Ross: Give me two.
Ross: Okay, wish me luck.
Phoebe: Ross, youre being ridiculous! Okay? You are cute and smart and sweet and that is much more important than three stupid divorces!
Ross: All right, try pedaling.
Ross: That is an old, Chinese woman!
Ross: Uh-huh. Yeah I-I have a knack for impressions.
Ross: So this is your office?
Ross: Whats wrong with being the Bings?
Ross: For what? For letting you throw me out of your office?
Ross: Then you are neither of your parents!
(Scene 4: Everyone in the hall outside Mr. Heckles' door. Ross is carrying the box of bananas. He bangs on the door)
Ross: Okay. Okay. (To the nurse behind the desk.) Umm hi, this is Rachel Green. Im Ross Geller. We-we called from the car.
Ross: I was up all night writing this really nasty letter to Emily! It was perfect and now it's all covered in-in (The duck quacks.) Actually, thanks!
Sandy: I really do understand how hard it's gotta be to leave your child with another person. I mean, it's leaving behind a piece of your heart... (Ross has got that bored/angry/skeptic look and Rachel is very emotional)
Ross: Yeah.