words in movies
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Ross is playing with Emma on the couch after just changing her diaper.]
Ross: And that's why, no matter what mommy says, we really were on a break. (baby talk) Yes we were! Yes we were! (picks Emma up) Come here gorgeous. (puts her on his knees and talks to her) Oh! Look at you! You are the cutest little baby ever! You're just a... a little bitty baby, you know that? But you've got... (in a softer voice) You've got big beautiful eyes... Yes you do... and a... and a big round belly. (emphasises the B's) Big baby butt! I like big butts. (raps) I like big butts and I cannot lie / you other brothers can't deny / when a girl walks in with an itty, bitty, waist / and a round thing in your face you get...(Emma laughs) Oh my God, Emma... you're laughing! Oh my God, you've never done that before, have you? You never done that before... Daddy made you laugh, huh? Well, daddy and Sir Mix Alot... What? What? You... you wanna hear some more? Uhm...(raps) My anaconda don't want none / unless you got buns hon... (Emma laughs again and Ross looks worried) I'm a terrible father!
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel enters the apartment.]
Ross: Hi.
Ross: Guess what? I made Emma laugh today.
Ross: Yeah, and it was uhm... it was like a real little person laugh too. It was... it was like uhm... (Ross tries to impersonate Emma's laugh, but it comes out very squeaky, very high pitched. He laughs about himself but then looks at Rachel, realises that it sounded weird and straightens his face.) Only... only not creepy.
Ross: I uhm... Well, I sang... (Rachel gasps) well actually I rapped... Baby Got Back... (Rachel's face changes from excited to angry)
Ross: But you know what, if you think about it, it actually promotes a healthy uhm... body image... because... even big butts or uhm... juicy doubles.
Ross: Please don't take her away from me!
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Emma is sitting in her chair on the apothecary table and Rachel is trying to make her laugh.]
Rachel: Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mommy... Please? Please laugh for mommy... (Rachel makes a funny face, sticking her tongue out, making a farting noise and using her hands as antlers, wiggling her fingers... No response from Emma...) Not funny huh? Oh so, is it... only offensive novelty rap? Or maybe just, you know, rap in general? 'Cause mommy can rap... (Rachel tries to rap and makes weird movements with her arms in the process.) My name is mommy and I'm here to say / that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap... Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody... (Rachel's face is telling "Oh what am I doing? The things I have to go through... and she starts to rap) I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face... (Emma starts to laugh) Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! (Rachel now really gets into it, and her insecure movements start getting better) I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo... (Rachel picks up Emma and Ross now enters)
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Oh I know, isn't it? Ooh... what'd you do to get her to laugh?
Ross: You sang Baby Got Back didn't you?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's. Emma is in her bed and Ross and Rachel are rapping and dancing for her.]
Ross: She sweat, wet. got it going like a turbo 'vette.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Hell yeah!
Ross: Shake it!
Ross: Shake it!
Ross: Baby got back (Then Ross turns around and sees their friends standing in the doorway)
Ross: Rachel please! That is so inappropriate!
Ross: Oh, yeah, no problems. Its all taken care of.
Ross: What??
Ross: So uh, wha-uh, what do you do?
Ross: Oh, yeah, that would be me, um, I have, I have a problem I-I tip way too much, way, way, too much, its a sickness really.
Joey and Ross: Kristen Lang.
Ross: (entering) Hey, uh, Im really, really sorry about what happened in the cafeteria today.
Ross: Yeah, would you please consider moving here? I mean you were gonna move here anyway, why can't you just do that?
Ross: Hey Rach, can you pass me the TV Guide?
Ross: Well, if I'm still here in an hour, buy him a drink on me.
Ross: (To the still half asleep Professor) Oh my God! You really want me to be the keynote speaker? Thank you! (hugs him whilst still on his lap)
Ross: Mmm.
Ross: Mm-Hmm.
Ross: Sweetie, you gotta relax. Everythings gonna be great, okay? Come on. Come on.
Ross: Mmm-Hmm.
Ross: Im getting that baby out of you!
Ross: Well, Im just saying, I mean why else would he just, y'know, swoop in out of nowhere for no reason.
Ross: (entering) Hey, guys! (They both notice his new little friend)
Ross: Mmm.
Ross: Hmm-Hmm.
Ross: Ohh, you can see them, huh?
Ross: I-I, did that for you.
Ross: (bowing) Hello!
Chloe: (seeing Ross enter) Hey, its the dinosaur guy. (runs over to Ross) Hi, Ross.
Ross: So I guess were back to uh, Baby Girl.
Chandler: No, I let him winRoss!
Ross: Here we go. Mona umm, I think its time we-we had a conversation about-about where things are with us.
Ross: For real?
Ross: Ah! Ah! I forgot my jacket!
Ross: A-A day.
Joey and Ross: Hey!
Ross: See ya!
Ross: Happy Thanksgiving!
[Joey and Ross enter.]
Ross: Some would say shes attractive, yes.
Ross: Who cares? I repel women.
Ross: (to Joey) Dude, we were good!
Ross: Monica you really think I should try this phasing out thing?
Ross: (Gasps and speaks at a higher pitch) This feels perfectly normal. Ok, get on the swing!
Ross: (hands Chandler his pad and walks in) I want my turkey now!
Rachel: Well, first of all, Paulo and I are not back together. It was just a stupid thing I did, and if I could go back in time and do it again, well, I wouldn't. Um, second of all (Ross is laughing), what?
Ross: Yeah, yeah, what is it?
[Cut to the casino, a very drunk and doodled on Rachel is walking arm in arm with an equally drunk and doodled on Ross are walking through the casino and greeting people on their way through. Ross has some whiskers and his nose colored in, along with his name on his forehead.]
ROSS: Wow!� (pause)� Wow, You look . . . uh . . .�� It's just, ah . . .�� That dress . . . uh . . .�
Ross: And thats not against your oath?!
Ross: Hey Pheebs, you know I'm i'm really glad you came to talk to me the other day and I hope I was a little helpful.
(Rachel spins the bottle and it lands on .wait for it .Joshua. (You thought I was going to say Ross, didnt you?) Rachel squeals in delight and starts a slow sexy crawl over to Joshua, making sure he and everyone else watching gets a good look at her cleavage.)
Ross: What. Oh no, you just rolled over the juice box.
Ross: All right I guess I'm, gonna go pack. (Starts to leave)
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.
Rachel: Umm, listen, I'm gonna need to take a rain check, my roommate is just really sick. Okay? Bye! (She goes back in to talk to Ross.) Honey, listen, I know, I know things seem so bad right now.
Joey: Ross! Can I talk to you for a second?
Ross: Okay, fine!
Ross: What?
Emily: (with her coat on, shes leaving with Ross) Thank you so much for this. It was really so thoughtful of you.
ROSS: Hey you. [they stand together in front of the TV.]
Ross: And um...You look nice today.
Rachel: Oh no. No Ross, dont do this.
ROSS: No, sorry I don't. Tell me why would anyone pay someone to scar their body for life? What if it doesn't come out right Phoebe? Then it's like, I don't know, havin' a bad hair cut all the time. Why's everyone staring at me?
Ross: (shocked) Eh?
ROSS: Oh, I promise, what.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Ross is having lunch with his father who is examining his next forkful.]
Ross: (interrupts) No, no, no I don't want to know, don't want to know. Ok, you know, I should probably, I should probably just go.
Ross: Are you kidding?
(Joey turns off the lights, and they all leave as Rachel starts to clean up. Ross enters from the bathroom.)
[Time Lapse, Rachel and Ross are watching a TV channel finishes it's broadcast day by playing the national anthem.]
Monica: Ross? Lets go.
Ross: (To Joey) So, you-you think I should go ahead and take this place?
Joey: Maybe, maybe we did a good thing, helping Ross get back on his feet!
[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Carol is on the bed, Ross and Susan are at her side.]
(Phoebe laughs, then stops to think about it. Ross enters.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is reading what Joey wrote.]
Ross: I-I uh, I got tricked into all those things!
Ross: This guy could be my babys stepfather!
Ross: Hey
(Ross enters)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross and Phoebe have been banished to Ross's place.]
Ross: Wow, Monicas letting other people help decorate her tree! Did someone get her drunk again or?
Monica: No, there is no way! It can not be Ross! (She looks through the window and sees Ross practicing and fumbling around with the pipes.) Unbelievable! Why is your family Scottish?!
[Scene: Ross and Rachels apartment, Rachel is unpacking as the phone rings.]
Ross: Hi Janine!
Ross: Im sorry you lost your money, but I won it fair and square.
Ross: Are you serious?
Ross: I dont know! Just-just talk to him-entertain him and keep him alive.
Ross: Oh, well you see how it works is, the part with Dick Clark in Times Square is actually live, but they tape some of the party stuff ahead of time. Yeah, not a lot of people know that.
Ross: Bye Janine!
Ross: Come on, Pheebs lay off him.
Ross: Oh my God!
Ross: It was a dry day.
Ross: Come on, would you grow up? Its no big deal.
Ross: Got it!
Chandler: Come on, Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?
RACH: Ross, Chandler wrote something about me on his computer and he won't let me see.
Ross: Right.
Ross: Look, were down to just one point. Could we please, maybe just settle it after the wedding.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Hey, I'm more cop than you two!
Ross: I don't know. It's just not the same without Mom in the kitchen.
Ross: We know!
Ross: Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Ross are there.]