words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross are there, Rachel is serving brownies.]
Chandler: I will have one. (Ross and him both take one.)
Ross: Neither will I. (they both put back the brownies.)
Chandler: All right Ill have one. (he and Ross take another brownie,)
Ross: So whats a matter, you need a dentist? Ive got a good one.
Ross: Why? Why cant you go to him?
Ross: Pheebs, come on, you didnt kill anybody, these people just happened to die when you went to the dentist. Its, its, its just ah, a coincidence.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Ross: Thanks, Gunther. (takes the plate Gunther serves him and Rachel comes up and kisses him) (to Rachel) Hey! (to Gunther) Umm, can I get a napkin too?
Ross: (patting his clothes like he is looking for his wallet) No, no hes not.
Ross: What? (to Joey) So what are you going to do? I mean how, how are you going to tell Chandler?
Ross: Okay, I have a problem I have to go into work for a few hours, some kids messed up the Homo Sapien display.
Ross: Well, they painted over the word Sapien for one thing, then they rearranged the figures, lets just leave it at that.
Ross: Yes, thats what I was going to ask, thank you.
Ross: You? You! Want to watch Ben? (in the background Monica mouths Dont worry, Ill be here the whole time. to Ross.) Yes! Thatd be great, no, I just wanted to ask Monica, because I know how empty her life is. (Monica sarcastically mouths Yeah! and holds up her thumb.)
Joey: Hey-hey, Ross?
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Hmm?
Ross: Joey, Homo Sapiens are people.
Rachel: Okay. Okay honey, hes fine, hes fine, lets just put him down. Come here, Ben. (sets him on the couch) See thats a good boy. (to Monica) How could you do that to him!! Ross trusted me, what is he going to say?!
Monica: The second that Ross walks in that door, I want you take him back to your bedroom and do whatever it is that you do that makes him go, (high pitched) rweee!!
Ross: (entering) Hey! Everyone.
Ross: Hows my little boy?
Ross: (noticing the outfit he is wearing) Whatd you do, take him whaling?
Ross: Oh my God, he just said your name, thats great! Good job Ben.
Ross: And tell them what? The naked guy we stare at all the time isnt moving.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross has just finished putting Ben to sleep, and is entering from Rachels room.]
Ross: Well, hes finally alseep. About that ah, bump on his head?
Ross: Its okay if he bumps his head, kids bump their heads all the time, y'know, it was your first time babysitting, I figured you did the best you could.
Ross: I know! Im saying you have to watch them all the time.
Ross: Monica did it?
Ross: Monica?
Ross: Umm, did you notice anything wierd about Ben today?
Ross: Well, I was just playing with him, and y'know we were doing the alphabet song, which he used to be really good at, but suddenly hes leaving out e and f. Its like they just ah, I dont know, fell out of his head.
Ross: Oh, and also, hes, hes walkin kind of funny, his left leg is moving a lot faster than his right leg, and hes in there just sort of y'know... (walks around in a circle)
Monica: (coming out of the bedroom) You jerk! You know how much I love that kid! (starts to chase Ross around the living room)
Ross: Monica bang! Monica bang! (runs into one of the posts) Ow!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, and Ross are holding the giant poking device.]
Ross: Can we please focus here, a naked mans life hangs in the balance!
Ross: He does not look happy.
Monica: (laughing with Ross) We don't, we don't wrestle now.
Ross: Oh that's nice.
Ross: Oh. Uhh
Rachel: Well, of course I am! It's not gonna happen to Ross! He's your brother. (To Chandler) He's your old college roommate. Ugh, it was just a matter of time before someone had to leave the group. I just always assumed Phoebe would be the one to go.
Ross: Hi! What's ah, what's Mark doing answering your phone?
Phoebe: Yeah, I definitely. I dont like the name Ross.
Ross: Hey, uh, you can ignore that.
Ross: Oh, no!
Ross: Ok, um, uh, more clothes in the dryer? (Ross turns and bangs his head on an open dryer door.) I'm fine, I'm fine.
Ross: No-no, I got the edge. I know it's not exactly ethical but I sent him a little bribe to
(Ross appears in the hallway just outside of Rachel's office.)
(Phoebe gets up and goes to play, Ross goes over and sits down next to Monica and Rachel.)
Phoebe: Oh, hi Ross!
Ross: What are you doing?
Ross: You chipped in?!
Chandler: We should start with the big stuff. Yknow? That'll be the easiest. Uh, let's start with the couch. (He picks up one end and Ross doesn't help) I got it. (He moves it back to where he thinks it goes.)
Ross: You're welcome for a delicious dinner.
Ross: Y'know what? Uh, Rachel is here! (Rachel stops.)
Ross: How weird is that? Yknow? Youre moving in with me and have the one thing I dont have. Its like uh, in a way you-you complete me (Phoebe glares at him) kitchen.
(Ross turns and glares at Phoebe.)
Ross: The uh, the baby that hasn't been born yet? Wouldn't that mean you're... crazy?
Ross: Monica and Chandler are living together!
Ross: Oh, oh. Of course. God, I'm so stupid. You guys are a couple now. I mean, you probably just want to be alone.
[Scene: Amanda's apartment, Ross is arriving with Ben.]
Ross: (tapping her on the shoulder) Phoebe? Phoebe?
Ross: What?!
Ross: So uh, what did you tell them about me?
Ross: Fine, just stop thinking about me.
Ross: Oh my God, we did it! (he sits beside her and skims through her notes excitedly)
Ross: Heavy thing, not getting lighter!
(Ross puts her on speakerphone.)
Ross: No. (to Rachel) So, um, let's see your pretty close, huh. Make-up's on, hair's done.
Ross: (trying to get her attention) Phoebe?
Chandler: I didn't know Ross and you were so close.
Rachel: (touches his knee) Im pregnant. (Ross stops.) Ross? (Ross is staring off into space.) Ross? (Ross is still frozen) Okay, whenever youre ready. (Sits back and opens her magazine.) And youre the father by the waybut you got that
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Yep! I'd like to thank you guys for coming down here to complain about the rain and ruin my career!
Ross: No, I will not!
Ross: Mona? (Theres no answer, so he starts to leave but remembers where her extra key is. He reaches atop a hall light just outside her door and grabs the key. He looks at in triumph as the pain from it being hot moves along his nervous system to his brain, and when it arrives his brain orders his hand to drop the hot key and his mouth to squeal in pain. After dropping the key he pulls his shirtsleeve over his hand and uses the key to open the door and enter Monas apartment.) Okay, if I were a salmon shirt, where would I be? (He hears a key in the door and as it opens he dives behind the couch.)
Ross: Well w-w-w-w-wait, w-wait, wait, wait a minute! I mean a couple of stupid boxes get wet and she gets a Porsche?!
Ross: (in an Australian accent) You complete me kitchen, matey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are there, Phoebe is entering with her date Robert.]
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Some days it's all I can think about.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: What's that supposed to mean?
Rachel: Ross!
Ross: Rachel, only one of us can do it, you have to choose. You and me together again. (he winks at her and Rachel looks disgusted)
Ross: It doesn't matter! It's my principles! We're talking about my principles!
Rachel: Ross!
Ross: Yeah! Rach?
Phoebe: Ross, I know what youre thinking.
Ross: Then tell him quickly.
(Rachel pushes on the couch and pushes Ross out the door.)
Ross: What?
Rachel: Ross, didn't you say that there was an elevator in here?
Ross: Uhm, I hadn't no you... I had no idea you were so excited about Paris. Uhm, I mean, you said you were scared.
Ross: Yeah, you got it right? You got it right? You got it?
Ross: Oh my God! I-I see what this is! You are in love with Rachel!
Ross: Apparently, Stings son made fun of the fact that Bens moms are lesbinims.
Ross: And while that was good advice, you should know that what-what she wants
CHANDLER: Alright look Ross I'll give you 50 dollars for your underpants.
Rachel: Ross, um, don’t forget to get a shot of Emma’s cake. It’s in a box in the fridge.
Joey: Hey-hey dancer girl! Can I go to the bathroom? I just.. (The girl starts dancing really close to him, so he picks her up, twirls her round, and puts her against a platform) Here we go. (He walks away to find Monica and Ross doing a really out of place dance) Looking good Gellers!
Joey: I know. I know. And shes not only my friend; shes my pregnant friend! Shes my pregnant friend whos Ross ex!
Phoebe: (sarcastically) Okay Ross! (Ross exits and she says quietly to the bike) Please dont die!
ROSS: I can't believe you hated me.
(Ross and Chandler start to read Joey's script aloud.)
[Cut to Ross's apartment. Ross and Rachel are there. It's another scene from 1016 TOW Rachel's Going Away Party.]
Ross: Oh great! What, you brought Joey?
ROSS: Hey, Joey. You wanna open the window?
Chandler: (to Ross): What do you need, what do you need?
Ross: Oh, that's me.
Ross: Turn.
Ross: Turn! Turn!
Ross: Come on, Chandler.
Ross: All right, ready?
(They all turn and glare at Ross.)
Ross: Every week, the TV Guide comes to Chandler and Joeys apartment. What name appears on the address label?
ROSS: Because it's a special hat. [Chandler looks at Ross funny] See he bought it 'cause he was feeling really down one day so he got the hat to cheer himself up, ya know. Now Chandler...
Ross: Y'know what? Just-just follow my lead.
Ross: Are you into crafts at all?
Ross: Okay, you're in bed. She's over on your side, cuddling. Now you wait for her to drift off, and then you hug her (demonstrates on the cushion) and roll her back over to her side of the bed. And then you rollll a-way. Hug for her! Roll for you.
Ross: Well, thats what Im here for. (Emma starts crying again) Want me to get that?
Ross: is for me not to see you anymore.
[Scene: The couch store, Ross is talking to a saleswoman.]
Ross: That's what I'm telling you.
Chandler: (doing a little dance) Hey Ross, look what I've got going here.
Ross: Hey! What's up?
Ross: (thinks) I take it.
Ross: I wanna say it's not looking good.
Ross: Ok, I gotta say. I mean, it means so much to me that you guys are coming all the way over there to hear me do my speech! UH! And I've a surprise, uh... I had to pull some strings but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference! That's right! (he gives them their passes) This babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars.
ROSS: OK, now I'm nervous.
Ross: Sorry. (To remedy that, Ross scoops the cinnamon off of the top with his hand.)
Ross: Sometimes, you should come over (Joey returns from the bathroom) sometime! Ill play you one of my other
Ross: You got it! (Monica leaves, Ross closes the door). All right, she's right, we gotta get serious. (He grabs a bag of styrofoam peanuts) Let's put styrofoam peanuts down his pants and kick him!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is watching Joey read Little Women, Ross is also there.]
Ross: Hey Joey! Great stuff huh?
Ross: Wheres my ring? My dead grandmothers wedding ring? Where is it? Where is it?
ROSS: Shouldn't the pizza be here by now?� I mean, they said thirty minutes or less.� Well, how long has it been?