words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross are there, Rachel is serving brownies.]
Chandler: I will have one. (Ross and him both take one.)
Ross: Neither will I. (they both put back the brownies.)
Chandler: All right Ill have one. (he and Ross take another brownie,)
Ross: So whats a matter, you need a dentist? Ive got a good one.
Ross: Why? Why cant you go to him?
Ross: Pheebs, come on, you didnt kill anybody, these people just happened to die when you went to the dentist. Its, its, its just ah, a coincidence.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Ross: Thanks, Gunther. (takes the plate Gunther serves him and Rachel comes up and kisses him) (to Rachel) Hey! (to Gunther) Umm, can I get a napkin too?
Ross: (patting his clothes like he is looking for his wallet) No, no hes not.
Ross: What? (to Joey) So what are you going to do? I mean how, how are you going to tell Chandler?
Ross: Okay, I have a problem I have to go into work for a few hours, some kids messed up the Homo Sapien display.
Ross: Well, they painted over the word Sapien for one thing, then they rearranged the figures, lets just leave it at that.
Ross: Yes, thats what I was going to ask, thank you.
Ross: You? You! Want to watch Ben? (in the background Monica mouths Dont worry, Ill be here the whole time. to Ross.) Yes! Thatd be great, no, I just wanted to ask Monica, because I know how empty her life is. (Monica sarcastically mouths Yeah! and holds up her thumb.)
Joey: Hey-hey, Ross?
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Hmm?
Ross: Joey, Homo Sapiens are people.
Rachel: Okay. Okay honey, hes fine, hes fine, lets just put him down. Come here, Ben. (sets him on the couch) See thats a good boy. (to Monica) How could you do that to him!! Ross trusted me, what is he going to say?!
Monica: The second that Ross walks in that door, I want you take him back to your bedroom and do whatever it is that you do that makes him go, (high pitched) rweee!!
Ross: (entering) Hey! Everyone.
Ross: Hows my little boy?
Ross: (noticing the outfit he is wearing) Whatd you do, take him whaling?
Ross: Oh my God, he just said your name, thats great! Good job Ben.
Ross: And tell them what? The naked guy we stare at all the time isnt moving.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross has just finished putting Ben to sleep, and is entering from Rachels room.]
Ross: Well, hes finally alseep. About that ah, bump on his head?
Ross: Its okay if he bumps his head, kids bump their heads all the time, y'know, it was your first time babysitting, I figured you did the best you could.
Ross: I know! Im saying you have to watch them all the time.
Ross: Monica did it?
Ross: Monica?
Ross: Umm, did you notice anything wierd about Ben today?
Ross: Well, I was just playing with him, and y'know we were doing the alphabet song, which he used to be really good at, but suddenly hes leaving out e and f. Its like they just ah, I dont know, fell out of his head.
Ross: Oh, and also, hes, hes walkin kind of funny, his left leg is moving a lot faster than his right leg, and hes in there just sort of y'know... (walks around in a circle)
Monica: (coming out of the bedroom) You jerk! You know how much I love that kid! (starts to chase Ross around the living room)
Ross: Monica bang! Monica bang! (runs into one of the posts) Ow!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, and Ross are holding the giant poking device.]
Ross: Can we please focus here, a naked mans life hangs in the balance!
Ross: He does not look happy.
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Phoebe is playing a song. Chandler, Monica, and Ross are there as well.]
Monica: (entering) Ross (who has his foot on the coffee table), foot on the floor or come over no more!
Ross: Oh come on. It's cold, it's dark, he doesn't know the Village. (Kicks a sign in frustration) And now I have a broken foot. I have no monkey, and a broken foot! Thank you very much.
Ross: (astonished) What?
Ross: (holding a dress out from inside the closet) This one?
Ross: and then, we couldve gone from the ceremony to the reception with you in the sidecar!
(Ross looks scared)
Ross: I'm having a son. Um...
Ross: This is fun. Hey Rach, remember that whole "We were on a break thing?" Well, I'm sorry, will you marry me? (Laughs--whines as he sees that no one is laughing. They're just staring at him in shock.)
Rachel: Ross, this is not how we wanted you to find out about this. You have every right to go nuts.
Ross: OK, I have a question. Well, actually, it's not so much a question as.. more of a general wondering... ment.
Joey: Nonono, you can't kiss Ross, that's your brother.
[Camera pans to the Geller family table. Ross, Rachel, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there.]
Ross: Yeah, and she still wants to go! It's pretty clear where she is.
Ross: What do you want to do now? Huh? You wanna go get a drink?
Rachel: (talking in her sleep) Oooooooooh. (Rachel strokes her hand over the pillow. Ross mimicks her silently) Oh, that's nice. Oh, oh. Huh, Ross!
Ross: Wha-I'm having, I'm having a boy! (babbling) Huh, am I having a boy?
Molly: (goes out of the room) Hey! Guys, this is Tabatha (they kiss on the lips in a romantic way). (to Ross) I'll see you tomorrow.
Ross: So, eh. I made out with Adrienne and you made out with Missy. Well I guess we're even.
Ross: Yeah.
Monica: Ross! He's playing with my spatulas again!
Ross: Why? Why would I why? Why? Why? Why?
Ross: Nonono, thatthat's not what I was saying...
Monica screaming at Ross: Forget the bubblewrap! There isn't time!
Ross: Marcel, c'mere, c'mere. (He sits down and Marcel jumps down and sits beside him) Well buddy, this is it. There's just a coupla things I want to say. I'm really gonna miss you, and I'm never gonna forget about you. You've been more than just a pet to me, you've been more like a be- (Marcel climbs down and starts humping his leg) Okay, Marcel, please, could you leave my leg alone? Could you just stop humping me for two seconds?! Marcel, would- okay, just take him away. Just take him.
Rachel: Oh please. Okay, anyone in this room think that I would send Ross begging symbols, please show of hands. (Ross raises his hand and no one else.)
Ross: Okay, hold my crawler.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is showing everyone a poster as Ross enters.]
Ross: Not even once.
[Scene: Rosss Apartment, Ross and Monica are there.]
Ross: Well, there is an Arbys in the shape of a tee-pee.
Ross: Im sorry the answer there would be...none of us.
Ross: Hey. Oh, oh, how'd it go?
Ross: We're sorry, Pheebs, we're sorry.
ROSS: Rach, Rach, we'll be fine, all right?� You go have fun.
Ross: Hey Pheebs, could you please not put your feet up on my new (On Rachels glare) old sheet?
Ross: So Joey, you okay?
Phoebe: (Walks towards Ross) If you hadn't just had a baby with my best friend I swear to Lucifer a raber dog would be feasting on your danglers RIGHT NOW!
Ross: Why, why, why would you dream that?
(There is a knock at the door. Someone turns the music off, then the whole party runs and hides, except for Monica and Rachel who answer their door. Ross stands in the doorway, holding a box, but everyone is too keyed up to notice that it's him.)
Ross: Not well. I went on the subway again and someone did sit on my hand but that person was neither female nor wearing pants.
Joey: I'm tellin' you Ross, she wants you.
Woman: Hi, Ross.
Ross: Actually, nectarines, but basically...
Ross: Aw, right.
Ross: An egg?
Ross: Hi. She said yes.
Phoebe: Ooh. Oh. It looks like, like a tiny little person drowning in your cereal. (Ross gives her this look, like 'Yeah, doesn't it', and gets up to dump it down the drain.)
Ross: Well, oh just ah, I was just wondering, when you and I split up, did you get the tape that was half the last episode of M*A*S*H and half the hostages coming home?
Rachel: (On the phone) Okay, he's a, he's a black capuchian monkey with a white face... (Enter Ross) ...with, with Russian dressing and, and pickles on the side. Okay. Thanks.
Ross: (coming out of the bedroom) Oh! Oh my God! I didnt even see you!
Ross: I love it, when we share.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel has just found out about Chloe and is screaming at Ross. The rest of the gang is trapped in Monica's bedroom.]
(Camera pans to Ross, holding his stomach)
Ross: The most amazing thing happened tonight. I thought my number was up. I had an actual near death experience!
Ross: (noticing the pipe and looking at the door) Joey wheres the pipe that was holding the door open?
Joey: (to Ross) Wanna play strip poker for practice?
Ross: Okay, Im gonna play my sperm card one more time.
Ross: Nope, nope, that's it.
Ross: I cannot sleep in a public place.
Ross: I can't belive you two had sex in her dream.
Ross: ..Dr. Oberman. Okay. And is he-
Ross: So, um, what do you do for a living?
Ross: Oh, I hope they're not ruined.
(He shuts the door and Ross and Monica fling cookies at it)
Ross: Hi! (Kisses his mom.) Hey mom.
Carol: Joey, Ross is gonna be here any second, would you mind watching Ben for me while I use the ladies' room?
Rachel: (freaks) Ross! Stop it! Come on!
Ross: Anyway it-it kinda-it all boils down to this, the last time I talked to Emily
Ross: I dont want people to see it for your sake.
(Everyone says no and folds, except for Ross, who thinks about it.)
Phoebe: Oh, hi, Mrs. Waltham. I need to speak with ether one of the best men, or Rosss sister Monica.
Ross: No but, no but.
Ross: That's easy for you to say, you found one already.
Ross: (Doing the spinning) Okay, Monica: Right foot red.
ROSS: Well this, this is too much, I feel like I should get you another sweater.
(She goes into her apartment and sees Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross sitting there.)
Ross: What's going on?
Ross: Well, howdya feel?
Ross: Oh, professor Clerk we're kind of in the middle of a conversation, here.
Ross: Because, because Ive got Ben.
(She goes to look out the window at Rosss apartment and sees Jill staring at her and closing the drapes with an evil look on her face. Rachel is stunned into silence.)
Ross: Ah, the lesser-known "I don't have a dream" speech.
Ross: Well, when you're subletting an apartment from your wife's cousin and then you get a divorce, sometimes the cousin suddenly wants his apartment back.
Ross: Oh, right, because he's a scientist!
Ross: (entering from the bathroom) Hey Pheebs, what's going on?
Ross: (on phone) Thats right, Ryder. Wynona Ryder for six. (listens) Thank you. (hangs up) (to the gang) Yeah, we have the reservations.
ROSS: I'm Ross Geller. Wha, I'm, God in your add you said you were pretty but wow.
Ross: Ah....
Ross: Um... uh.... vulva.
Ross: (embarrassed) Wha... what, here?
Ross: Joey, please.
Ross: (impressed) Wow.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Sure.
Ross: ....and....
Ross: I, er...
Ross: (wiping his brow) Ah...ooh! Well, looks like, uh, we kicked your butts.
Ross: (rushing to explain) Funny story!
Ross: (panicked) Er.... um.....