words in movies
Ross: Should we all expect Christmas gifts that can be stolen from your office?
Ross: Who gets whom. (They all look at him.) I dont know why I do that.
Monica: Well, maybe you could give to somebody else. Ooh, like Ross Geller.
Phoebe: You dont have to do that, Ross and Joey arent here, you can watch the parade if you want.
[Cut to later, Phoebe is adding butter to something and Ross is watching.]
Ross: Hey-hey, I thought she told you to follow the recipe exactly!
Chandler: (entering) All right! Okay! I think I am making some progress with Joey, when I went into the apartment he went straight into his bedroom but he only slammed the door once! (Ross is pleased.) I mean yeah, he gave me the finger while doing it.
Ross: So listen ah, I picked Monica for secret Santa, but Im already getting her something for Chanukah, I was wondering if you wanna switch.
Ross: Really?! Wow! Thats-thats so nice, what are you gonna get me?
Ross: Yeah, well maybe Phoebe will switch with me.
Ross: Oh, thats not true! Ive got her lots of stuff she never took back.
Ross: Like uh, that gold necklace I got her last year.
Ross: Well, she wore it all Christmas day, and then uh
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: What are you doing?
Ross: Everything? Even the TV?
Ross: Listen, Joey, I know what he did was wrong but dont you think you could at least hear the guy out?
Ross: Thats a good point. So uh, how long are you gonna punish him?
Ross: Youve sentenced him?!
Ross: Joey, the guys your best friend.
Ross: Oh, who? Me?
Ross: Wow! Im honored! And yknow what Im gonna do as my first act as your best friend?
Ross: Im gonna get you to talk to Chandler.
Ross: Hes coming here for Thanksgiving!
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Hey, y'know, Mon, if things wrong out between you and Richards son, youd be able to tell your kids, that you slept with their grandfather.
Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, (points to Ross) married a lesbian, (points to Rachel) left a man at the altar, (points to Phoebe) fell in love with a gay ice dancer, (points to Joey) threw a girls wooden leg in a fire, (points to Chandler) livin in a box!! (goes to her room)
Ross: (to Rachel) Oh hey! Hey uh, you remember the necklace I gave you last year? Can I see it?
Ross: I just wanna check something.
Ross: (He puts his hand over the hole on the box.) (to Chandler) Now, well see.
Chandler: Air hole! Air hole!! (Ross retracts his hand quickly.)
Ross: (grabbing the necklace) The necklace I got you was gold, this one is silver.
Ross: Oh my God! You actually exchanged it!
Ross: What did you get?
Monica: My brother, Ross.
Ross: Hey.
[cut to later, Joey, Rachel, Ross, and Tim are watching the football game, and they all cheer loudly.]
Ross: Like em, like em? Or, Id like to get store credit for that amount like em?
Rachel: Ross, can you pass me the yams?
Ross: Sure! Oh, and Joeys got the mashed potatoes if you want to exchange them.
Ross: Theres nothing the matter with me. See, Im not completely devoid of sentiment, see I have feelings.
Rachel: Dont say that I have no sentiment! (Starts to show Ross whats in the box.) This is a movie stub from our first date! This is an eggshell from the first time you made me breakfast in bed! (Holds up a bone) This is from the museum from the first time we were together. Okay, maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter!
Ross: I dont know what to say, Im sorry. Though, youre not supposed to take these. (Points to the bone) Its like a million years old, we, we actually, we had people looking for that.
(She gets up and leaves, Chandler waves good-bye with one finger extended through the air hole. Ross glares at Joey.)
Ross: Hes taking her purse!
[Scene: San Diege Zoo. Ross is still at the monkey cages. A janitor is sweeping.]
Ross: (entering) Hey, you guys!
Ross: Professor Sherman, yeah. I've a meeting with him today.
Ross: It's in Barbados.
Ross: So, uh, this guy, she used to go out with, is, uh is he a good guy?
Ross: So-so what did the doctor say?
Ross: (puzzled) What?
Ross: Really? That would be great. I mean, I have to do something, she kinda teased me about how I dress.
Ross: How do you feel about all this?
Ross: Oh, that's not what you want...
Ross: Eh..actually no, I don't need to because your little "Ross is dead" joke didn't work, ok, there were no responses. Nobody posted anything on the website, nobody called my parents, so the joke my friend is on you. Nobody called, nobody wrote anything, nobody cares that I'm dead. (silence) Oh my God! Nobody cares that I'm dead!?
Charlie: Oh I can't... I have seminars all day and I promised Ross I would look at his speech.
Ross: Take thee, Rachel...(All his friends have looks of shock on their faces. He realizes what he said. Quickly he says.) Emily. (A slight chuckle.) Emily.
Ross: Really? Sounded like Three Blind Mice.
Ross: Four percent. Okay. I tip more than that when theres a bug in my food.
Rachel: (giggles) (To Ross) I can imagine you in a short plaid skirt and knee socks.
Ross: Not the first two, but the second two- woooo! ...I love you guys. You guys are the greatest. I love my sister (Kisses Monica), I love Pheebs... (Hugs her)
Ross: Joey! Hey, I need to talk to Charlie. Is she there?
Ross: Barbados.
Ross: You know, if it�s meant to be, I�ll guess it. Bye, bye.
(Ross drags Joey into the hall and slams the door)
Ross: Dr. Gettleman? Yeah I know, I don't think that's a good idea. In fact, I think he's dead.
Ross: Actually, it looks really good. (Turns towards the window and now Phoebe starts jumping to divert his attention.)
Ross: (continuing) I just found out that Elizabeths dad wants to meet me.
Joey: (sees Ross) Hey all right, Ross came as doody.
Joey: Hey Ross, wouldn't it be great if we could go two straight hours without dropping it?!
Ross: Wha...? Oh sure, now they lock it, but when they're having sex on the couch, its like: "Come on in, my butt is surprisingly hairy".
Rachel: Yes, I know! And Joey knows! But Ross doesn't know so you have to stop screaming!!
(Ross mouths to Chandler, "Thank you," and he mouths, "Youre welcome," back.)
Ross: (to Emma) Can you say Barbados?
Ross: Alright, alright, now-now who should I say tricked me into doing it?
Ross: Uh, uh... Sure! Uhm... "Dear..." (he takes the notepad)
Ross: Ok, we gotta go, yeah? So, we'll see you guys tomorrow.
Ross: Wow! This is very flattering, uh...
Ross: "... Sarah. I dig you", Uh? "Doctor Ross Geller".
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: (to Charlie) Ready to go?
Ross: (Excited) You're never going to guess who I just saw downstairs!
Ross: Uh, Joe, have you looked outside?
Ross: Maybe I should open a divorced mens club.
Phoebe: Oh well, all right, I got (Ross hands her a bag) (To Ross) thank you, I got uh, this yknow "I want a job sweater." (Holds up the same sweater.)
Ross: I picked up the divorce papers. Uh, Ive already signed everything and I put little Xs where you need to sign.
Ross: Wait a minute, are you doing that thing where you pretend it didnt go well but it really did go well?
Ross: I'll help you. Yeah, I'll make up a schedule and make sure you stick to it. And plus, it'll give me something to do.
Ross: Look Rach if-if you want to go for a ride in the Porsche Ill be glad to take you for a quick spin around the block.
Ross: The chocolates aren't here yet.
Joey: (To Ross) Ill tell you about it later. Be cool.
Ross: What, oh my God. What did you do?
Ross: Wha... what do you mean? (Goes to the laptop)
Ross: What did it say?
[Time lapse: Ross looks likes he's been trying to fix his computer but just closes it as if giving up]
Ross: Why, why would you open it?
Ross: NO! I don't!!
Ross: Okay, last night after you guys broke up... so sorry to hear about that, by the way... Well, Charlie and I were talking, and..., well...
Ross: Oh yeah? Youre going further down! Downtown!
Ross: I don't think that your monologue from Star Wars is gonna help me right now, Joe!
Ross: Well, what do you do?
Ross: Yeah. It wouldve been good if we had gotten in, but still real fun.
Ross: Get out! (Chandler runs out)
Ross: Wha... what you really think we can do that?
Julie: Well, Ross and I were in grad school together.
Ross: Yeah... what am I going to say to Kenneth Schwartz?
Ross: No, but ah, theres coconut in the Hanukkah Menoreoes. I tell you what, Ill put you down for eight boxes, one for each night.
Ross: Yeah, that's it?
Rachel: Okay, Ross, it has to be realistic.
Rachel: Okay Ross thats fine, but can you please stand near my head?
Ross: That's Ben, my son from my first marriage.
Ross: Oh my God, I love you.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Hey! High-five! (they high-five)
Ross: No. (they clink glasses and drink)
Ross: Ok, odd thing to get excited about!
Emily: (rushing in) Ross! Come quickly! Theres a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard!
Ross: Look, I gotta go pick up Ben. Everything so far sounds great Joey, just remember to keep it on the mellow side, okay? Just a couple of guys hanging out playing poker, no-no strippers or anything okay?
Ross and Charlie: Hey!
Ross: Good night.
Ross and Rachel: Ok, good night!
Ross: Mhm, (he balance things) packing - sexy cheerleader comedy.
Ross: Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... (Stops suddenly and turns to look at Monica) Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?!
Ross: Oh!
Chandler: You know who else picked Rachel? Ross, and you know what else Ross did? He stole my joke. You know what? Im going to get a joke journal. Yknow? And document the date and time of every single one of my jokes.
Ross: Oh, thanks guys!
Ross: Oh, thank you so much!
Man with a bow tie: (shaking hands with Ross) I thought... it was wonderful!
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: (looks) Oh yeah! You'rehey, you're right! Here's an affordable place, (reading ad) two bedroom, close to work, ooh, it's available in five weeks!
(Ross giggles, but Charlie isn't amused at all.)
[Scene: Ross and Monicas parents garage, Ross and Monica are arriving to go through their things. Mr. Geller is in the garage.]
Ross: Youre not getting away this time mister! Unless you want that ass kicking we talked about!
Ross: You know, I'm just not uhm... that comfortable with a guy who's as sensitive as you.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, the gang minus Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast. Ross and Chandler are sitting at the foosball table and eating.]
Ross: Okay. Well, apparently Chandlers angry at us for not getting him a ticket to that Knicks game a couple of weeks ago.
Ross: I don't know, probably just invest it.
Joey: I'm fine, I'm fine, it's just, it's just weird what's happening with her and Ross. You know, yesterday he asked me to fix him up with somebody.
Chandler: We used to be married, but then we missed a weekend away together and things kind of unraveled. Because of you! Happy Birthday. (Ross looks disappointed and switches the camcorder off)
(Rachel goes into her room and Monica enters the living room as Ross is leaving.)
Ross: Posting that I died? That really isn't funny.
[Cut to Rosss apartment, hes watching TV and eating some popcorn as the phone rings.]
(Ross grabs his things and runs to the door only to be blocked by his exiting students.)