words in movies
Ross: Should we all expect Christmas gifts that can be stolen from your office?
Ross: Who gets whom. (They all look at him.) I dont know why I do that.
Monica: Well, maybe you could give to somebody else. Ooh, like Ross Geller.
Phoebe: You dont have to do that, Ross and Joey arent here, you can watch the parade if you want.
[Cut to later, Phoebe is adding butter to something and Ross is watching.]
Ross: Hey-hey, I thought she told you to follow the recipe exactly!
Chandler: (entering) All right! Okay! I think I am making some progress with Joey, when I went into the apartment he went straight into his bedroom but he only slammed the door once! (Ross is pleased.) I mean yeah, he gave me the finger while doing it.
Ross: So listen ah, I picked Monica for secret Santa, but Im already getting her something for Chanukah, I was wondering if you wanna switch.
Ross: Really?! Wow! Thats-thats so nice, what are you gonna get me?
Ross: Yeah, well maybe Phoebe will switch with me.
Ross: Oh, thats not true! Ive got her lots of stuff she never took back.
Ross: Like uh, that gold necklace I got her last year.
Ross: Well, she wore it all Christmas day, and then uh
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: What are you doing?
Ross: Everything? Even the TV?
Ross: Listen, Joey, I know what he did was wrong but dont you think you could at least hear the guy out?
Ross: Thats a good point. So uh, how long are you gonna punish him?
Ross: Youve sentenced him?!
Ross: Joey, the guys your best friend.
Ross: Oh, who? Me?
Ross: Wow! Im honored! And yknow what Im gonna do as my first act as your best friend?
Ross: Im gonna get you to talk to Chandler.
Ross: Hes coming here for Thanksgiving!
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Hey, y'know, Mon, if things wrong out between you and Richards son, youd be able to tell your kids, that you slept with their grandfather.
Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, (points to Ross) married a lesbian, (points to Rachel) left a man at the altar, (points to Phoebe) fell in love with a gay ice dancer, (points to Joey) threw a girls wooden leg in a fire, (points to Chandler) livin in a box!! (goes to her room)
Ross: (to Rachel) Oh hey! Hey uh, you remember the necklace I gave you last year? Can I see it?
Ross: I just wanna check something.
Ross: (He puts his hand over the hole on the box.) (to Chandler) Now, well see.
Chandler: Air hole! Air hole!! (Ross retracts his hand quickly.)
Ross: (grabbing the necklace) The necklace I got you was gold, this one is silver.
Ross: Oh my God! You actually exchanged it!
Ross: What did you get?
Monica: My brother, Ross.
Ross: Hey.
[cut to later, Joey, Rachel, Ross, and Tim are watching the football game, and they all cheer loudly.]
Ross: Like em, like em? Or, Id like to get store credit for that amount like em?
Rachel: Ross, can you pass me the yams?
Ross: Sure! Oh, and Joeys got the mashed potatoes if you want to exchange them.
Ross: Theres nothing the matter with me. See, Im not completely devoid of sentiment, see I have feelings.
Rachel: Dont say that I have no sentiment! (Starts to show Ross whats in the box.) This is a movie stub from our first date! This is an eggshell from the first time you made me breakfast in bed! (Holds up a bone) This is from the museum from the first time we were together. Okay, maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter!
Ross: I dont know what to say, Im sorry. Though, youre not supposed to take these. (Points to the bone) Its like a million years old, we, we actually, we had people looking for that.
(She gets up and leaves, Chandler waves good-bye with one finger extended through the air hole. Ross glares at Joey.)
Ross: Hes taking her purse!
Ross: Were really gonna do this, huh?
ROSS: No, no, she's great and it's not like we haven't done anything. I mean, uh, uh, we, we do plenty of other stuff, lot's of other stuff, like uhh. . .
[Scene: Museum of Prehistoric History, Ross and a co-worker (Marsha) are setting up an exhibit which includes some mannequins of cave people.]
ROSS: Mon, speaking of which, dad says he knows someone you can call for an interview.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Time lapse. Jack is still on the couch, picking his teeth with his feet on the table. Phoebe and Judy are sitting on the table looking at him. Ross and Chandler are sitting by the window talking. Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen fooling with Rachels trifle. Monica walks into the living room from the kitchen.]
ROSS: What?
ROSS: You know, you are so amazing, is there anything you, you don't know?
ROSS: Do you say this stuff to girls?
ROSS: I know.
Ross: He could never get a woman like that in a million years.
ROSS: Yeah.
Ross: Good-good-good.
ROSS: Thank you.
Ross: Oh, (grins) Believe me, the ladies, they love it!
ROSS: Absolutely.
Ross: (surprised, chuckling nervously) Of course it's your friend Tanya. (looks up frightenedly)
MONICA: Ross, the heat!
ROSS: No.
Ross: Okay? But-but imagine a lot more lights, okay? And-and yknow fewer bricks, and-and-and flowers, and candles
ROSS: Yeah, sure.
Ross: (hitting Monica with his suitcase) (to Charlie) We should probably get going, you know, we got a lot of ground to cover.
Ross: Yeah, I think she looks good.
Ross: Well be starting with apples.
Ross: Of course he is! What, do you think Id just use my son as-as an excuse? What kind of father do you think I am?
Ross: Check it out! Almost 3 hours without droppin' it!
Ross: Hold on a second, alright? Just think about what you went through the last time you quit.
(Ross falls back inside)
Ross: That, for all I knew would, could last forever. That to me is a break-up.
Ross: And why exactly would I do that? (Goes back to writing on the board.)
Rachel: What?! I didn't have a good time in Greece! Ross abandoned me! Okay, I couldn't get a plane out, so I had to stay in their honeymoon suite with people coming up to me all the time going, "Oh, Mrs. Geller, why are you crying?" I mean, it was sooo humiliating. I felt like such an idiot! I mean, it's all my fault! And you know why, because I make very bad decisions.
ROSS: Yes, and that's why we're here.
Ross: Oh. (pause) Hey, who's Carl?
(Rachel grins as Ross removes the girlie jacket, grabs his own, and rushes out.)
ROSS: Why did you hate me?
Rachel: Im just saying that yknow, someday Ross is gonna meet somebody and hes gonna have his own life. Right?
ROSS: Hey.
MONICA: Ross, I hated you when we were kids.
Ross: Emily is incredible. I mean there-there are no words to describe it, I mean the whole weekend was like a dream. (Sees Rachel coming back from the bathroom.) Oh! And you! Rach!
ROSS: Yeah he was wasn't he.
Ross: (he picks up the ball) What do you think you learnt how to do in the last two minutes?? (he enters another room)
ROSS: Alright.
ROSS: So, listen guys, are we uh, are we ok here?
Ross: MY SANDWICH!!!!!! (Ross's scream scares a flight of pigeons away.)
ROSS: Yeah.
Ross: Am I! Am I! Am I out of my mind! Am I losing my senses!! This dreamy guy is taking my girlfriend out for a meal.
Joey: Yeah, calm down. You don't see Ross getting all chaotic and twirly every time they come.
MRS. GELLER: She never tells us anything. Ross, did you know Monica's seeing someone?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there but Ross and Chandler. Monica is making food, and having everyone try it.]
Ross: Look, Im not trying to get out of anything, okay. I thought our relationship was dead!
Ross: Now, I know you wanted to bond with my dad, but did you really have to bond to that part?
Ross: Really, it would be good for you and in fact, why don�t you, why don�t you go ahead to the restaurant and I will wait for my mom and then I�ll meet you there.
Ross: I don't know, but when I spoke to her, she said she had already passed the mucus plug.
ROSS: Is there blood coming out of my ears?
Russell: Of course you did. Look Ross, you cant get an annulment unless you and Rachel are both there.
ROSS: Hey, Phoebs, how'd it go.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is prying at the Magic 8 Ball with a screwdriver as there's a knock on his door which he goes to answer.]
[The hallway. Rachel and Ross go out and they just stand there for a few seconds.]
Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck...
ROSS: Really?
ROSS: All right.
ROSS: What?
ROSS: Question. Why do we always have to have parties where you poach things?
ROSS: Thanks for being born.
ROSS: No. [sound of Dr. Remore's body hitting the bottom of the shaft] Now maybe.
ROSS: That's who.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]
Ross: Uhh, okay, its uh, Emily and I, we decided to uh, to get married.
Ross: (Back to Emma) Hi! (Looks at her) What... (Moves the stroller away from him so he can get a better look at her. He looks at her confused. Finally he realizes the difference and gasps). Please tell me those are clip-ons.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is eating breakfast, Ross is heading for the bathroom.]
ROSS: And that's what's gonna kill me. I'm allergic to kiwi.
ROSS: I know.
ROSS: Cool.
ROSS: No. no.
Guru Saj: I dont know, whats a koondis with you? (starts laughing as if that joke was funny, Ross only looks at him, and he stops) Please, lie down! Ive got a sav that oughta shrink that right up.
Ross: Look, I didnt think there was a relationship to jeopardise. I thought we were broken up.
Ross: Hiiii-Ya!! (Chandler lies back down.) Im serious! Youre not walking out on my sister!
Joey: Anyway! Her and Ross just started yelling at each other.
(Ross bangs his fists together to tell Chandler off, like what was learned last season. Read about it here.)
ROSS: Mine.
Ross: She's not here yet. She's not here. She's having my baby and she's not here.
ROSS: I'll take that dad. [grabs the bat]
JOEY: Yeah really, Ross, have you ever been beaten up before?
Ross: Come on! Like I wanted him to tell you, I ran all over the place trying to make sure that didnt happen!
ROSS: Buddy, my monkey, my monkey.
Ross: (To Chandler) And shame on you! You should know better, Joey needs to work. (To Joey) Now come on!
Ross: (imitating Parker) This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! (He backs into someone.) Ooh sorry (He looks behind him then notices its Phoebe then stops his impression.)
Monica: (holding up a small cowboy hat) This isnt mine. (Sets it down and looks at the rest of the boxes.) Hey, this isnt, this isnt my stuff! Ugh, Ross! (Grabs and holds up a doll.) These are your boxes! Where are my boxes?
Ross: (clutching a beer can and sniffing) This was Carol's favorite beer. She always drank it out of the can, I should have known.
(Ross and chandler are standing next to the alter. Ross is practicing for the wedding.)
Ross: I didnt know what I was taking full responsibility for! Okay?! I didnt finish the whole letter!
MRS. GREENE: Ross, what're you doing.
[Ross, Phoebe, Chandler, and Rachel all exchange money.]
Joey: Yeah, Ross. You and the baby just need better blocking.
ROSS: Hi, Julie. [nervous] Hi, Julie. Julie, um, how are you?
ROSS: Well, I just spoke to Carol. Ben's got the chicken pox.
Rachel: Oh, Ross, c'mon, please! Don't make this harder than it already is!
ROSS: Dad, I beg you not to finish that sentence.
Ross: Look, this is a disaster! Can't I please just go?
(They walk on. Chandler and Joey start to talk but Ross stops and whines.)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]