words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Janines, Joey and Ross are playing Sony Playstation. Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Hey! (Sees Ross is there) Oh, good, Ross! Youre parents like me, right?
Ross: (only half-paying attention) Yes, of course they like you!
Ross: (not paying attention) Yeah, they dont like you.
Ross: I dunno, maybe its because youre really sarcastic. Or maybe its cause you uh-
[Joey and Ross get annoyed with Chandler's outburst.]
[Joey and Ross drop their video game controllers.]
Ross: (trying to act manly in front of Janine) No I dont want to play video games, Joey!
Ross: For real?
Ross: Yeah, see, we-we-we have to stop across the hall, because its my sister. But, uh, uh yknow actually, growing up with a sister was nice because it really helped me understand women. Yeah, you-you should tell your friends that.
[Ross looks at Joey coyly.]
[Joey and Ross enter.]
Joey and Ross: Hey!
Ross: And the place looks so nice!
Ross: Happy Thanksgiving!
Ross: See ya!
[Joey and Ross go to the door, ready to leave.]
Ross: Oh, oh, we did say wed stop by this little thing Joeys roommate is having.
Ross: Some would say shes attractive, yes.
Ross: (to Joey) Dude, we were good!
Ross: Oh, but-but it is, uh, its just like the first Thanksgiving, when the Indians and the Pilgrims uh, sat down to dinner.
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
Phoebe: Yeah, I dreamt that he saved me from a burning building and he was so brave and so strong! And its making me look at him totally differently. Yknow, I mean he used to be just, yknow Jack Geller Monica and Rosss dad and now hes hes Jack Geller, dream hunk."
[Time lapse. Ross and Joey are cleaning the table while Judy and Phoebe talk by the window. Jack and Chandler are sitting on the couch while Monica sits on the coffee table.]
Monica: Yknow dad, Chandler is one of Rosss very best friends!
Chandler: Yeah, Ross sure is a great guy, yknow Ive always felt that how a young man turns out is a reflection on his father.
[Rachel is in the kitchen fiddling with her English truffle. Joey and Ross, anxious to leave and go to Janines party, are egging her on to hurry up.]
Ross: Yeah, yeah, what is it?
Rachel: Its a truffle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch, [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
[Joey and Ross make confused faces.]
Ross: W-What was the one right before bananas?
Joey and Ross: (faking dissapointment) Okay.
Ross: Beef in a dessert?! I- no no no, there is no way!
[Ross goes to look in the magazine Rachel got her recipe from.]
[Ross looks up as if saying that Joey was weird. He begins flipping through the pages, only to find that they are sticky. So one page is overlapping another, making two recipes look like one.]
Ross: Oh my God, the pages are stuck together!
Ross: Oh My God, she-she made half a English Trifle, and half a...Sheperds Pie!
Ross: No, no, we will. We just wont tell her she messed up.
Ross: Yeah, itll be like a funny Thanksgiving story!
[Ross and Judy enter the living room. Judy and Ross sit down on the couch beside Jack. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the coffee table.]
Chandler: Oh, yes. Well its very beautiful. Its cream-colored and tight [Realizes what he just said and looks worried. Monica and Ross also looked shocked. Judy and Jack give Chandler a very dirty look.] I dont mean tight, I mean its not too tight, not that I was looking at-[giving up all hope, he puts his head into his hands.]
Ross: (worried) Dude, I need to talk to you a sec.
[Ross and Chandler get up and go into Rachels old room.]
[Scene: Rachels old room. Its pretty much empty except for a few boxes against the walls. Ross and Chandler enter.]
Ross: Okay, I think I might know why my parents dont like you.
Ross: Okay, remember, we were young. Hey, Spring break, sophomore year, I got high in my bedroom and my parents walked in and smelled it and so I told them that you had gotten stoned and jumped out the window.
Ross: I dont know, aheh, yours was the first name that-that popped into my head, Im Im sorry. I-I didnt think it would matter.
Ross: How was I supposed to know wed end up being friends after college, let alone you-you would be living with my sister?
Ross: I dont know, I-I was all high.
Monica: Mom and dad just sent me in here to find out if you (points to Chandler) were trying to get Ross stoned!
Chandler: Your parents caught Ross smoking pot in college and he blamed it on me!
Monica: Ross, I cant believe youd do that!
Ross: Okay, okay, Ill tell em it wasnt Chandler who got high. Now who should I say it was?
Ross: Alright, alright, now-now who should I say tricked me into doing it?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Time lapse. Jack is still on the couch, picking his teeth with his feet on the table. Phoebe and Judy are sitting on the table looking at him. Ross and Chandler are sitting by the window talking. Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen fooling with Rachels trifle. Monica walks into the living room from the kitchen.]
[Monica gives Phoebe a surprised expression and goes over to Ross and Chandler.]
[Chandler and Monica are by the window pressuring Ross to tell his parents the truth.]
Monica: Ross, if you dont tell them, then I will!
Ross: Okay, fine!
[Ross gets up to go tell his parents.]
Joey: Ross! Can I talk to you for a second?
Ross: Oh, uh, can it wait a second Joey? I have to tell my parents something. No it cant? Okay.
[Monica and Chandler make What was that? gestures. Joey and Ross go into Rachels old room.]
[Scene: Rachels old room, Ross and Joey enter.]
Ross: What?! What is with everybody? Its Thanksgiving, not...Truth-Day!
Ross: Okay, okay, well just get everyone to act like they like it. That-that way noone makes fun of her and we still get to go to Sweet Potatoe Pie! (Referring to the dancers.)
[Ross makes a sorry face.]
[Joey and Ross go back out into the main area.]
Ross: Hey Rach, can I talk to you outside for a second?
[The hallway. Rachel and Ross go out and they just stand there for a few seconds.]
Rachel: Whats up, Ross?
Ross: So um...Thanksgiving. The holiday season is upon us, hm?
Ross: And um...You look nice today.
Rachel: Oh no. No Ross, dont do this.
Ross: What?
Ross: (shocked) Eh?
Rachel: I thought this might happen today. Ross, I know the holidays can be rough. Yknow? And its probably really hard for you to be alone right now.
Ross: (cutting her off) Youre alone.
Ross: (just trying to get out of the conversation) Ah well, cant blame a guy for trying!
Joey: Oh and (Ross begins to open the door and Joey says some gibberish word to indicate to Ross that hes not done yet. Ross closes the door again.) Okay, and uh if anyone needs help pretending to like it, I learned something in acting class, try uh, rubbing your stomach (Rubs his stomach) or uh, or saying mmm and uh, oh oh! And smiling (Smiles while pretending to stir a bowl), okay?
[Ross and Rachel re-enter.]
Monica: Its so good, that I feel really selfish about being the only one whos eating it, that I think we should have everyone taste how good it is. Especially Ross.
[Ross glares at Monica.]
[Rachel reaches for Rosss plate]
Ross: Wha? No no! Ah! (Ross scarfs all of his trifle down in about a second. He looks like hes going to throw up.) (Lying) All gone! So good! Maybe Chandler has some left.
Ross: It tastes like feet!
Ross: Are you kidding?
[Rachel and Phoebe walk into the kitchen. Monica comes out of the bathroom and goes over to Ross.]
Monica: Ross? Lets go.
Ross: Oh yeah, about telling Mom and Dad, I was thinking about maybe writing a letter.
Ross: Wha-what?
Monica: (out loud, to her parents) Mom! Dad! Ross smoked pot in college!
Ross: (in a 5 year olds tone) (To Monica) You are such a tattletale! Mom, Dad, you remember that-that time you walked in my room and smelled marijuana?
Ross: Well I told you it was Chandler who was smoking the pot but it was me. Im sorry.
Monica: And Dad, yknow that mailman that you got fired? He didnt steal your Playboys! Ross did!
[The Gellers stare at Ross. Ross looks at his parents with an afraid, shocked look.]
Ross: Yeah, well, Hurricane Gloria didnt break the porch swing, Monica did!
Monica: Ross hasnt worked at the museum for a year!
[The Gellers glare at Ross.]
Ross: Monica and Chandler are living together!
[Monica and Chandler both are shocked. Ross gives Monica a take that! look.]
Monica: Ross married Rachel in Vegas! And got divorced! Again!!!!
[The Gellers glare at Ross.]
Mrs. Geller: Ross, drugs? Divorced? Again?
Ross: I-I uh, I got tricked into all those things!
Mrs. Geller: Chandler! Youve been Rosss best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems. (Ross gets disgusted.) And now youve taken on Monica as well. Well, I dont know what to say. Youre a wonderful human being.
Mr. Geller: No! Thank you! (Hugs Chandler) Monica, and Ross! I dont know what Im gonna do about the two of you!
Ross: I dont know. I mean I-I guess I could. Its just that we didnt really end things such good terms. And if I go over there Id be ignoring the one thing she asked me to do when we broke up, jump up my own ass and die. (Walks away.)
ROSS: E-except, except that what?
Ross: Yeah, kids say all kinds of crap. (In the other room Emma starts to cry.)
Ross: Well I, close your eyes, I just think youre gonna like this a little better, cause, close-close... (He gets some more on the brush)
Ross: Uh, Rach? Does this bakery by any chance also bake erotic cakes? Say for bachelorette parties?
Monica: (indignant) I give good massages! (Ross laughs.) I used to give them to Rachel all the time before she got allergic! And-and-and Chandler loves them! Watch! (She starts giving Chandler a massage.)
Ross: (with a mouthful) That's not bad.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, Ross is on his date with Kristen and theyre drinking wine.]
Ross: The first time! No seriously, imagine if Carol hadnt realized she was a lesbian.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is once again being dragged in by Ross so he that he can try to manipulate the situation so that its best for Ross, not necessarily whats best for Monica and Chandler.]
Ross: Nooooo!
Ross: Okay here, have one of these peppers. Oh ha Oh God! So so hot! (Rubs his eyes.) Oh my(Laughs.) By the way, you dont want to touch the pepper and then touch your eye.
Emily: Ross, are you there? Ross, I dont know if you can hear this but (Ross has moved to the window, apparently so that he can hear better.) Im gonna talk anyway, uh, Im in the States with you sister and your friends and its all over with Colin. I came here to tell you that, and to tell youYes, Joey you can have all the chocolate you want, just take it! Uh, I came here to tell you that I love you.
Ross: (calling from Elizabeth's bathroom) Joey, it's Ross! I need some help!
Ross: (running to the door) Oh, mine! Mine! Mine! (to everyone) Okay, here goes. Prepare yourselves for some Class A flirting.
[Scene: Interview room. Ross and two other professors (one man, one woman) are sitting on one side of a long desk. Benjamin Hobart is sitting on the other side]
Ross: ...As in Mouse?
ROSS: No look I wasn''t right, that's what I came here to tell you. I was totally hung up on, on my own stuff. Listen, I'm someone who needs the whole security thing, ya know. To know exactly where my next paycheck is coming from buy you, you don't need that and that's amazing to me. I could never do what you do Joey.
Phoebe: No Dr. Skeptismo! Im sure. First of all, okay, theres the feeling. (Chandler shrugs) Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. (Rachel nods her head in unsure agreement) My Mothers favourite fish is Orange Roughy... (Joey thinks he understands, but then nods that he has no clue.) Cats....like....fish! (Ross and Rachel are totally lost) (to the cat) Hi, Mommy. (Rachel covers her mouth, in an Oh my God. gesture) Oh, I havent seen this smile in 17 years!
Ross: You've really crossed the line here, but that's okay, it's ok 'cause I'm on my way to buy some Photoshop software and a stack of gay porn. That's right! Your coming out is about to get real graphic.
Rachel: I lent them to Ross.
Ross: All right, look, look, youve got to do this yourself, okay in person. At least you know her name. You just go to the house and you ask for Mary-Angela, okay, when which ever one she is comes to the door, you take her for a walk, you let her down easy.
Ross: Here they come, here they come. Oh-ho, if she kisses him goodnight, Im gonna kill myself, I swear. I cant, I cant watch this. (turns away, then quickly turns to look again) Come on, date over! Date over! Uh-oh, here we go, shes going in.
(It's only when the camera cuts to Ross's apartment that we see that the TV is turned off and Ross is indeed doing a bit. He then tries to hide his smirk.)
Ross: No, no. Shes way to emotional. And by emotional I mean crazy.
Chandler: Ross, just for my own piece of mind, youre not married to anymore of us are ya?
Ross: 'S'funny, um, uh, we agreed we'd spend the rest of our lives together. Things change, roll with the punches. I believe Julia's on the table..?
Ross: (entering) Well hey! Whats going on? Ooh, cool boat(Sees why the boats there)Oh, no. (Averts his eyes by looking around the room) (To Rachel) Hey, did you, did you tell them?
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Rachel is packing what she still has over there as Ross enters.]
Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. You, however have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of closeness and sharing at the end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do it! I don't think that was my point!
Monica: Okay, looks like Ross and I are captains. Okay, so um, I bunnied first so that means I get to pick first. Joey.
Joey: Shhh! This is a museum, no talking. Right down here, (Motions to a fossilised dinosaur foot.) we have a large foot. (Sees Ross working in one of the display cases.) Uhh, and over here we have Ross Geller. (Knocks on the glass) Everyone wave Hi to Ross. Ross is one of our most important scientists, look at him, hard at work. (Ross does the old "Putting a cigarette in your ear and pulling it out of your mouth trick.") Okay, moving right along. Come on.
ROSS: They, uh, were infected. He wouldn't have made it.
Ross: Yeah, yeah man don't do it. I mean if you date her, then-then-then I can't date her.
Ross: I know where Joey would be. He would be down in the foxhole protecting all of us.
Ross: Like I said I was thinking of taking Emma to the museum of knives and fire!
(Suddenly Rachel clears her throat and the camera cuts to the rest of the gang staring at them. Needless to say Joey and Ross are shocked and slowly turn their heads to see the gang.)
Ross: Ezel? Ezel? Ezel? (Looks it up in his book.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are giving Phoebe and Rachel the results of their election. Somewhat faster than Florida I might add.]
Ross: Well, we just wanted to say a quick hi, and then we're gonna go see the baby.
Ross: Uh actually, I think I'm gonna skip it.
Ross: Well, Emily's willing to work on the relationship.
Ross: Dad, we-we cant believe youre selling the house.
Ross: Pivot! (They pivot) Pivot! (They pivot) Okay, pivot! Piv-at! (He starts laughing.)
ROSS: OK, my hands were no where near your butt.
(Joey gets up and heads for the door. After a pause Ross decides to join him.)
Paul: (To Ross) Hey!
Ross: Uh Mona just dumped me.
Ross: Look, I was nervous! You guys had me all worried I was going to be boring! I got up there and they were all like staring at me. I opened my mouth and this British accent just came out.
Rachel: Bye. (Ross exits.) Ahhh (Silence) So this is fun, huh?
Ross: We were all pretty shaken up about it.
Ross: Yeah, ever since you uh, told me that story about that bike I-I couldnt stop thinking about it. I mean, everyone should have a-a first bike, so
(Ross hesitates then leans down trying to get her to kiss his cheek, but she moves his head around and kisses him on the lips again.)
Ross: Here (gets behind her to help. When the coat comes off we see she is wearing the exact same shirt Ross is wearing. They look at each other, shocked. They abruptly put their coat back on) So this was fun! (They leave the room and head into opposite directions)
[Scene: The airport, Ross is about to walk off of the plane with Julie.]
ROSS: Ok, Phoebe, this is it. In this briefcase I carry actual scientific facts. A briefcase of facts, if you will. Some of these fossils are over 200 million years old.
Rachel: (worried) Be-cause Ross is the father of my child! You know... and I... want him to hook up with lots of women! (pause) I just... All I'm saying is... I don't think that Joey and Charlie have anything in common.
Ross: Today's the day Carol and I first.. consummated our physical relationship. (Joey is puzzled.) Sex. ..You know what, I-I'd better pass on the game. I think I'm just gonna go home and think about my ex-wife and her lesbian lover.
(Ross continues to climb down. He puts his other foot further down on Joeys torso, but that doesnt work very well and hes forced to wrap his legs around Joey. Which then forces Joey to get a nice and close view of Rosss crotch.)
(Cut to Chandler. He's walking around looking for Ross. He sees him kissing a girl next to a vending machine)
Joey: Hey Ross, check this out! (he tries to spin a basketball on his fingertip but he throws it against a table) yeah, I can't do that!
Ross: Marcel. Bring me the rice, c'mon. Bring me the rice, c'mon. Good boy. Good boy. C'mere, gimme the rice. (Marcel brings the rice) Thank you, good boy. Well, I see he's finally mastered the difference between 'bring me the' and 'pee in the'. (Rachel ignores him) 'Bring me the' and- Rach?
Ross: Yes, yes it is. In prison!
Ross: (stares at her through the door and starts pushing the chair harder, looking very annoyed. He finally manages) (sarcastic) I'm sorry, it's almost as if this wasn't built for a quick getaway!
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, Mr. Geller and Ross are finishing up recreating Monicas memories as Monica enters.]
Ross: Oh, hey Aunt Millie.
Chandler: (excited) Guys, guys, I've got great news! Guess what Joey: Uh, ah, Monica's pregnant?! Monica: (shocked) Really? (She looks around, suddenly embarrassed) Let's get past the moment. Phoebe: What's your news? Chandler: Thank you. I got a job in advertising. (Everybody cheers) Monica: (hugging Chandler) Oh, honey, that's incredible! Phoebe: (inquisitive) Gosh, what's the pay like? (Everybody stares at her indignantly) Oh, come on people (defending) come on, now, if I don't know who makes the most, how do I know who I like the most! (She looks at Joey) Hey Joey! (Joey winks at her) Chandler: Actually, it pays nothing. It's an internship. Joey: Oh, that's cool. We have interns at 'Days Of Our Lives'. Chandler: Right. So, it'll be the same except less sex with you. (Joey nods) Ross: So, uh, what kinda stuff do you think they'll have you do there? Chandler: Well, it's a training program, but at the end, they hire the people they like. Phoebe: (enthusiastic) That's great. Chandler: Yeah, I mean, there's probably gonna be some ground work which will probably stink, you know, grown man getting people coffee is a little humiliating (At the same time, Gunther puts down a cup of coffee in front of Chandler) Chandler: (grinning awkwardly) Humiliating and noble! (Gunther shoots a nasty look at him while leaving) Ross: You know, if I didn't already have a job, I think, I would have been really good in advertising. Monica: Ross, you did not come up with "got milk?" Ross: Yes, I did, I did! (He turns to Joey, disappointed) I should have written it down!
ROSS: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me. RACHEL: Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . ROSS: C'mon Rachel. RACHEL: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. ROSS: See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. RACHEL: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. [she walks off and Ross puts his hand to his hair] [Scene: Back at Phoebe's. She is on the phone] PHOEBE: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. [hangs up] [Phoebe's grandmother enters] GRANDMOTHER: Hey. PHOEBE: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. GRANDMOTHER: C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? PHOEBE: Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math. GRANDMOTHER: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. PHOEBE: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. GRANDMOTHER: I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. PHOEBE: Whattaya mean? GRANDMOTHER: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. PHOEBE: Wow. Thank you. GRANDMOTHER: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. PHOEBE: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! [blows a kiss to a picture of Einstein]
Ross: Okay. (He sits her down in a chair.) Uh, Ross and Rachel. Rachel and Ross. Thats been one heck of a see-saw hasnt it?
Ross: Well, apparently not, and I cant just stand by and watch two people I care about very much be hurt over something that is so silly. I mean, enough of the silliness!
Ross: You damn kids! You ring my bell one more time, I swear to (Opens the door to find Jill standing there.) Ohh, uh Jill. Umm, that-thats just a little game I play with the kids down the hall. Umm, theyve really taken a liking to me. (Quickly looks out to see if theyre watching.) Uhh whats-whats-whats the matter?
Kristen: I studied for a year in Barcelona. (Ross is stunned and worried.)
(Ross steps onto the bottom rung of the ladder and then steps on Joeys chest.)
Ross: Yeah I-I dont-I dont think Im quite there yet, but I could say I looove spending time with you.
(They both laugh. Ross sits down, but Rachel doesnt move and is lost in thought.)
Ross: OK! Last night after the party I saw Rachel kissing that jerk from her office out on your balcony.
Ross: (in his head) Oh my God! That's Rachel naked! I can't look at that! I am looking at this. (Looks back at his book.) Okay, vivid colors, expressive brush strokesUnless she wants me to be looking at that. She knows I'm home. She knows I can see her. What kind of game is she playing? I think maybe someone's lonely tonight. Oh-ho, Dr. Geller! Stop it! You're being silly! Or, am I?
Ross: Just showing you my run-of-the-mill-slice-it-right-off third nipple.
Ross: I was backpacking across Western Europe.
Ross: A pigeon, a pigeon. (previously scared Rachel turns away) No, no wait, no-no, an eagle flew in. Landed on the stove and caught fire. The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird�s aid. The eagle, however, misconstrues as an act of aggression and grabs the baby on its talon. Meanwhile the faucet fills the apartment with water. Baby and bird still up lays (?) are locked in a death grip, swirling around the whirl pool, that fills the apartment.
Ross: (mockingly)Yeah if only it were a sure thing like your 24 state lottery!
(He walks away and Joey does Rosss fist thing. He then enters Richards dressing room, to find Richard cutting his steak with his sword.)
[Time lapse, Ross is drinking something and decides to get Rachel again.]
Ross: I don't know, I'm one sorry polentologist. (Stops reading.) All right Joey, we get it. (To Chandler) I'm sorry.
Ross: Dad!! (Emily comes running in.)
ROSS: It would really help when I'm kissing you if you didn't shout out my sister's name.
ROSS: That, that's the only thing the zoo's ever told me.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering with a pizza and finds everyone but Ross there.]
Monica: I'll get it. (On phone.) Hello. (Listens.) Hi Emily! (Listens.) Yeah, uh you-you tracked him down. Hold on one second. (She hands the phone to Ross.)
(Ross knocks on Monica and Rachel's door)
Ross: (losing control, we hear him shout outside) MY SANDWICH?!!!
Ross: Well, I guess I can check out those apartment listings, even though there's never anything in here.
Ross: Im-Im Ross by the way.
ROSS: Kiwi? Kiwi? I thought it was a key lime pie.
Ross: Well look, I'm just trying to focus on the "I get to see my wife," part, all right? And not the part that makes me do this. (He takes a big swig of Pepto Bismol.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Ross are in the kitchen, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Phoebe is, you guessed it, still on hold.]
Prospective nanny: (in a sweet, caring voice) I think that's really smart. The easier we can make the transition for her, the better. (Ross and Rachel seem pleased with the answer.)
Ross: (skeptic) So you're just like a... guy who's a nanny?
ROSS: I'm sorry. See that's the good thing about my job. All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead.
Ross: (chases her) Oh yeah, yeah? Well uh, when we were going out, I read tons of porno magazines! (Realizes a table of women overheard him.) (To that table.) Sup?