words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Janines, Joey and Ross are playing Sony Playstation. Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Hey! (Sees Ross is there) Oh, good, Ross! Youre parents like me, right?
Ross: (only half-paying attention) Yes, of course they like you!
Ross: (not paying attention) Yeah, they dont like you.
Ross: I dunno, maybe its because youre really sarcastic. Or maybe its cause you uh-
[Joey and Ross get annoyed with Chandler's outburst.]
[Joey and Ross drop their video game controllers.]
Ross: (trying to act manly in front of Janine) No I dont want to play video games, Joey!
Ross: For real?
Ross: Yeah, see, we-we-we have to stop across the hall, because its my sister. But, uh, uh yknow actually, growing up with a sister was nice because it really helped me understand women. Yeah, you-you should tell your friends that.
[Ross looks at Joey coyly.]
[Joey and Ross enter.]
Joey and Ross: Hey!
Ross: And the place looks so nice!
Ross: Happy Thanksgiving!
Ross: See ya!
[Joey and Ross go to the door, ready to leave.]
Ross: Oh, oh, we did say wed stop by this little thing Joeys roommate is having.
Ross: Some would say shes attractive, yes.
Ross: (to Joey) Dude, we were good!
Ross: Oh, but-but it is, uh, its just like the first Thanksgiving, when the Indians and the Pilgrims uh, sat down to dinner.
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
Phoebe: Yeah, I dreamt that he saved me from a burning building and he was so brave and so strong! And its making me look at him totally differently. Yknow, I mean he used to be just, yknow Jack Geller Monica and Rosss dad and now hes hes Jack Geller, dream hunk."
[Time lapse. Ross and Joey are cleaning the table while Judy and Phoebe talk by the window. Jack and Chandler are sitting on the couch while Monica sits on the coffee table.]
Monica: Yknow dad, Chandler is one of Rosss very best friends!
Chandler: Yeah, Ross sure is a great guy, yknow Ive always felt that how a young man turns out is a reflection on his father.
[Rachel is in the kitchen fiddling with her English truffle. Joey and Ross, anxious to leave and go to Janines party, are egging her on to hurry up.]
Ross: Yeah, yeah, what is it?
Rachel: Its a truffle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch, [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
[Joey and Ross make confused faces.]
Ross: W-What was the one right before bananas?
Joey and Ross: (faking dissapointment) Okay.
Ross: Beef in a dessert?! I- no no no, there is no way!
[Ross goes to look in the magazine Rachel got her recipe from.]
[Ross looks up as if saying that Joey was weird. He begins flipping through the pages, only to find that they are sticky. So one page is overlapping another, making two recipes look like one.]
Ross: Oh my God, the pages are stuck together!
Ross: Oh My God, she-she made half a English Trifle, and half a...Sheperds Pie!
Ross: No, no, we will. We just wont tell her she messed up.
Ross: Yeah, itll be like a funny Thanksgiving story!
[Ross and Judy enter the living room. Judy and Ross sit down on the couch beside Jack. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the coffee table.]
Chandler: Oh, yes. Well its very beautiful. Its cream-colored and tight [Realizes what he just said and looks worried. Monica and Ross also looked shocked. Judy and Jack give Chandler a very dirty look.] I dont mean tight, I mean its not too tight, not that I was looking at-[giving up all hope, he puts his head into his hands.]
Ross: (worried) Dude, I need to talk to you a sec.
[Ross and Chandler get up and go into Rachels old room.]
[Scene: Rachels old room. Its pretty much empty except for a few boxes against the walls. Ross and Chandler enter.]
Ross: Okay, I think I might know why my parents dont like you.
Ross: Okay, remember, we were young. Hey, Spring break, sophomore year, I got high in my bedroom and my parents walked in and smelled it and so I told them that you had gotten stoned and jumped out the window.
Ross: I dont know, aheh, yours was the first name that-that popped into my head, Im Im sorry. I-I didnt think it would matter.
Ross: How was I supposed to know wed end up being friends after college, let alone you-you would be living with my sister?
Ross: I dont know, I-I was all high.
Monica: Mom and dad just sent me in here to find out if you (points to Chandler) were trying to get Ross stoned!
Chandler: Your parents caught Ross smoking pot in college and he blamed it on me!
Monica: Ross, I cant believe youd do that!
Ross: Okay, okay, Ill tell em it wasnt Chandler who got high. Now who should I say it was?
Ross: Alright, alright, now-now who should I say tricked me into doing it?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Time lapse. Jack is still on the couch, picking his teeth with his feet on the table. Phoebe and Judy are sitting on the table looking at him. Ross and Chandler are sitting by the window talking. Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen fooling with Rachels trifle. Monica walks into the living room from the kitchen.]
[Monica gives Phoebe a surprised expression and goes over to Ross and Chandler.]
[Chandler and Monica are by the window pressuring Ross to tell his parents the truth.]
Monica: Ross, if you dont tell them, then I will!
Ross: Okay, fine!
[Ross gets up to go tell his parents.]
Joey: Ross! Can I talk to you for a second?
Ross: Oh, uh, can it wait a second Joey? I have to tell my parents something. No it cant? Okay.
[Monica and Chandler make What was that? gestures. Joey and Ross go into Rachels old room.]
[Scene: Rachels old room, Ross and Joey enter.]
Ross: What?! What is with everybody? Its Thanksgiving, not...Truth-Day!
Ross: Okay, okay, well just get everyone to act like they like it. That-that way noone makes fun of her and we still get to go to Sweet Potatoe Pie! (Referring to the dancers.)
[Ross makes a sorry face.]
[Joey and Ross go back out into the main area.]
Ross: Hey Rach, can I talk to you outside for a second?
[The hallway. Rachel and Ross go out and they just stand there for a few seconds.]
Rachel: Whats up, Ross?
Ross: So um...Thanksgiving. The holiday season is upon us, hm?
Ross: And um...You look nice today.
Rachel: Oh no. No Ross, dont do this.
Ross: What?
Ross: (shocked) Eh?
Rachel: I thought this might happen today. Ross, I know the holidays can be rough. Yknow? And its probably really hard for you to be alone right now.
Ross: (cutting her off) Youre alone.
Ross: (just trying to get out of the conversation) Ah well, cant blame a guy for trying!
Joey: Oh and (Ross begins to open the door and Joey says some gibberish word to indicate to Ross that hes not done yet. Ross closes the door again.) Okay, and uh if anyone needs help pretending to like it, I learned something in acting class, try uh, rubbing your stomach (Rubs his stomach) or uh, or saying mmm and uh, oh oh! And smiling (Smiles while pretending to stir a bowl), okay?
[Ross and Rachel re-enter.]
Monica: Its so good, that I feel really selfish about being the only one whos eating it, that I think we should have everyone taste how good it is. Especially Ross.
[Ross glares at Monica.]
[Rachel reaches for Rosss plate]
Ross: Wha? No no! Ah! (Ross scarfs all of his trifle down in about a second. He looks like hes going to throw up.) (Lying) All gone! So good! Maybe Chandler has some left.
Ross: It tastes like feet!
Ross: Are you kidding?
[Rachel and Phoebe walk into the kitchen. Monica comes out of the bathroom and goes over to Ross.]
Monica: Ross? Lets go.
Ross: Oh yeah, about telling Mom and Dad, I was thinking about maybe writing a letter.
Ross: Wha-what?
Monica: (out loud, to her parents) Mom! Dad! Ross smoked pot in college!
Ross: (in a 5 year olds tone) (To Monica) You are such a tattletale! Mom, Dad, you remember that-that time you walked in my room and smelled marijuana?
Ross: Well I told you it was Chandler who was smoking the pot but it was me. Im sorry.
Monica: And Dad, yknow that mailman that you got fired? He didnt steal your Playboys! Ross did!
[The Gellers stare at Ross. Ross looks at his parents with an afraid, shocked look.]
Ross: Yeah, well, Hurricane Gloria didnt break the porch swing, Monica did!
Monica: Ross hasnt worked at the museum for a year!
[The Gellers glare at Ross.]
Ross: Monica and Chandler are living together!
[Monica and Chandler both are shocked. Ross gives Monica a take that! look.]
Monica: Ross married Rachel in Vegas! And got divorced! Again!!!!
[The Gellers glare at Ross.]
Mrs. Geller: Ross, drugs? Divorced? Again?
Ross: I-I uh, I got tricked into all those things!
Mrs. Geller: Chandler! Youve been Rosss best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems. (Ross gets disgusted.) And now youve taken on Monica as well. Well, I dont know what to say. Youre a wonderful human being.
Mr. Geller: No! Thank you! (Hugs Chandler) Monica, and Ross! I dont know what Im gonna do about the two of you!
Ross: Uh.. uh.. Well, Joey and I had discussed getting in an early morning racquetball game. But, um, apparently, somebody overslept.
Ross: Look, I dont think so Pheebs. (Pause) All right, Ill do it. But just because youre a friend. (Grabs the tickets and heads to divert Whitney.)
Ross: What? What? What?!
Ross: Okay, okay, what's going on?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel enters and walks quickly over to the window to watch Rosss apartment. We see that Rosss apartment is empty.]
Ross: That's, that's nice twice!
Ross: I had a 'K'. Where's where's my 'K'?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there. Ross has an icepack to his head.]
[Scene: Class of '91 reunion. Ross and Chandler enter.]
Ross: Don't you realise what you're-you're doing to yourself?
ROSS: Uh, actually mom, I think Monica thanked him for the both of us.
Ross: But you know what, if you think about it, it actually promotes a healthy uhm... body image... because... even big butts or uhm... juicy doubles.
Ross: ...But a man can change. (Downs a shot)
Ross: The guy on the cover with his nipples showing?
Ross: (mimicking) Ooh, ooh. Because she's my ex-wife, and will probably want to bring her, ooh, ooh, lesbian life partner.
Ross: What, uh... what were you thinking?
Ross: Hey, I've been married 3 times
Ross: You-you had what?
Ross: Uhhhh... Joey cried last night.
Ross: Yeah-uh-huh. Tomorrow night, Valentines Day, the most romantic day of the year. Who knows what could happen? I might not be shutting my drapes to show her my slides, if you know what I mean.
(Joey and Ross laughs)
Ross: I just Bamboozled Chandler! (Flexes in victory while everyone stares at him.) Which is not uh sexual thing. That was a quick shower.
Ross: I... ahem... I really don't think so.
Ross: He can hold a banana, if that's whatcha mean...
Ross: Oh, oh Chandler...
Ross: Listen Adrienne, you can't tell Chandler about this.
Ross: Whoa, whoa, but then the back of the couch won't line up with he back of the carpet.
Ross: I dont know, but I ah, I have the feeling that my being there will do it. Ill go over and I will borrow something. Juice!! I need juice!!
Chandler: Lie!!! How hard is that?! The checks in the mail! Oh your baby is so cute! I cant wait to read your book Ross!!
Monica: God, Ross is on a date with your sister! How weird is that?!
Ross: Thanks.
Phoebe: Your hair looks too good, I think it would upset her. Ross, why don't you come on in.
Ross: (to Rachel): OK, I am calling your seventeen. What do you got?
Ross: Wow! We are pretty good at this! Hey! We totally forgot about lunch!
Ross: Please! Are you kidding? I-I hurt three huge men, I gave a guy a bloody noseI mean I-Im not proud of it but, I really am. And its all because of you, wonderful, amazing you.
Ross: Oh, but-but I cant do it.
Ross: Excuse me. Hi, Im a professor here. Do you know the Paleontology section, fifth floor, stack 437?
Ross: Five letters.
(Phoebe, Joey and Ross laughs)
Ross: Look, if I can just do what Emily wants and get her to New York, I'm sure everything will be fine.
Ross: Rach, you cant look fat in an x-ray.
CHANDLER: I, I know. [Hugs her. Ross walks out and Chandler puts her in his arms.]
Ross: I see your twenty, raise you twenty-five. (throws it in)
Rachel: (on tape) Ross did I ever tell you about the time that I went backpacking through Western Europe?
Ross: Nothing! Theres nothing to do! I mean, she lives there, I live here. I mean, she-shed have to uh, move here. She should move here!
Ross: Second date!
(Ross emerges from a toilet marked 'Chicas')
Monica: Ross, could you come and help me with the spaghetti, please?
Ross: What?
(Ross gets up and goes over to the counter and Joey follows him.)
Ross: (on phone) Yeah, hi, I was just beeped. (pause) No, Andr� is not here. (to Joey) Third time today. (on phone) Yes, I'm sure... No, sir. I don't perform those kind of services.
ROSS: Ok, sweetheart, I'll call you later tonight. Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey, you're not really gonna go through with this, are you?
Ross: What?! While shes been going through this hell, youve been making money?! Youre betting on your friend staying in this misery?! (Phoebe lowers her head and shakes it yes.)
Ross: What? It's, it's just a phase.
Ross: Im sorry, its just one of my last nights together before she leaves for campto be a counselor!
ROSS: OK, you guys, ya know, I think we've seen enough, let's turn it off.
(Phoebe, Joey and Ross laugh)
ROSS: Basically he told me to get over myself and just do it, ya know. So I though about what you said and I though about what he said and, well, his way I get to have sex tonight so. . .
Ross: What was with the dishes?
Joey: (sits down next to Ross) First of all, Utah? Dude, you can't just make stuff up!
Ross: Correct. Rachel claims this is her favorite movie…
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are entering]
Ross: Hey Emma. Oh, why is she wearing her hat so low? She can barely see. (Wants to take the hat off, but Rachel tries to stop him).
Ross: Here we come, walkin' down thethis doesn't smell like Mom's.
Ross: Oh just say it Kyle!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Paolo are at the window. Ross and Joey are watching disgustedly.]
Ross: At the vet.
Ross: Alright, now, you sure? Phoebe just threw away two jacks because they didn't look happy...
Ross: Wait a minute, is this, is this for real?
Joey: I can't believe it, Ross. This sucks!
Ross: (grabs back his cookie) It was a hug!
Ross: I just didnt see the fast song coming.
Jill: I dont understand, do you want to go out with Ross?
Ross: No, no, that-that, thats all right. Umm, Im just glad you called.
(Forgetting herself, Susan does the "Mommy" action with Ross.)
Ross: I think when someone steals your credit card, they've kind of already thrown caution to the wind.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Chandler has the tape measure out and is busy lining up the lamp on the kitchen counter, Ross is supervising the whole operation.]
Ross: You know what, you guys, we don't have to watch this.
Ross: Does it? Does it? Yeah, I wanted to give that whole Does it? part just another glance.
Ross: Huh!
Ross: ...desperate, needy, pathetic?
(Ross and Chandler laughs)
Ross: Oh, yeah.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Monica are all there as Chandler enters wearing glasses.]
Ross: C'mere, Marcel. (Turns to Ross)
Joey: Probably, yeah... I mean, maybe we should... hold off until we talk to Ross.
Ross: (handing Mona the present) Happy Valentines Day! Or something to remember me by.
Ross: Are you not seeing him anymore?
Ross: What's goin' on?
Ross: Uh-huh. Well, when the psychiatrist told me I had to take a leave of absence because I yelled at my boss I started to get worked up again, so he offered me a tranquilizer. And I thought was a good idea so, I took it.
Benjamin: (looks surprised and un-impressed) That's not even kinda close! (Ross looks around confused) Dr. Li, how many graduate students you'd be needing?
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey, do you have any gum?
Joey: (waving) Very funny Ross! Very life-like and funny. Okay. (Notices that a woman is waving back.) Oh no-no-no, I wasn't waving at you lady. (She just stares at him.) (Joey sees how beautiful she is.) Whoa, maybe I was! Hey, Monica, this totally hot girl in Ross's building is flirting with me.
Ross: Okay, okay, I'll go first.
Ross: Are you're hands still wet?
Ross: O is for "oh, wow!" The V is for this very surprising turn of events, which I'm still fine with by the way. E is for how extremely normal I find it. That you two are together. And now one day you might get married and have children of your own.
Monica: Ross this is the only thing left that has a shot at working.
Rachel: Ross?
Ross: I'm here.
Ross: Ooh, Ooh.