words in movies
[Scene: Rachels Room, Joey moves Rosss coat to get the tissues Rachel wants and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.]
[Cut to Ross getting of an elevator carrying a bouquet of flowers and walking down the hall to Rachels room.]
[Cut back into Rachels room.]
Joey: Uh Look Rach (Ross enters.) Hey Ross is here! Hey look! Its my good friend Ross. Hey Ross.
Monica: (entering with everyone else including Mr. Geller) Hi! Hey look whos here!
Mr. Geller: Wheres my granddaughter? Ive been practicing my magic tricks.
Ross: Hey, wheres uh, wheres mom?
Monica: Oh, Aunt Liddys coming? That means we get five dollars each!
Ross: Uh Dad, Emmas in the nursery. Ill take you now. If you want, but (To Rachel) I really want to talk to you.
Phoebe: Yay! Its so exciting! Wow, you couldve done that with us there.
Joey: It wasnt my ring! It fell out of Rosss jacket! And when I knelt down to pick it up Rachel thought I was proposing!
Joey: I know! I know its awful.
Joey: (laughs) Now lets not get carried away. (He walks away as Monica comes over and hugs Chandler from behind.)
Monica: Come on! Come on, if we have sex again itll double our chances of getting pregnant. Do you think that closets still available?
Ross: (noticing something) Actually umm (He turns Mr. Gellers head to look at Emma.)
[Scene: Rachels Room, Phoebe is entering.]
Joey: (entering) Oh uh, hey Pheebs. Uh yknow what? Ill-Ill come back later. (He goes to leave but runs into Ross whos entering.)
[Scene: A hallway, Joey and Ross find Mr. Geller with his ear up against a janitors closet door.]
[Scene: Rachels Room, she is taking the ring out of Rosss jacket, looks at it, and puts it on her finger as Joey enters.]
Rachel: Of course! Oh Joey, this ring I its beautiful I love it!
Joey: Yeah uh look Rach, theres something I gotta tell ya.
(Theres a knock on the door and a nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Nurse: Its all right honey, it takes some babies a while to get it, but dont worry. Itll happen.
Rachel: Oh look, shes pulling away again! Do you think my nipples are too big for her mouth? (Joey gets embarrassed.) She looks scared. Doesnt she look scared?
Rachel: Its just so frustrating! Why doesnt she want my breast?!
Joey: I dont know! Maybe shes crazy! (Storms out.)
Ross: What, that we had a baby? Come on lets give him a little credit, although, he did eat a piece of plastic fruit earlier.
Phoebe: Oh, its a secret. Oh goodie! Yes! We havent done the secret thing in a long time.
Phoebe: All right, me too. (They go into her room and see that shes sleeping.) Should we wake her up?
Ross: No! No, come on let her sleep! Shes so exhausted.
Ross: Its mine.
[Scene: The Janitors Closet, Chandler and Monica are trying to figure out what to do now.]
Chandler: This is okay. Were all adults here; theres nothing to be ashamed of. Now, lets put our underwear in our pockets and walk out the door. (They do so and find Mr. Geller leaning against a wall stunned.)
Monica: Well, thats okay dad, we-we can wait until later.
Mr. Geller: Well you gotta get at it princess! When your mother and I were trying to conceive you, whenever she was ovulating, bam, we did it. Thats how I got my bad hip.
Chandler: Thats funny, this conversations how I got the bullet hole in my head.
[Scene: Rachels Room, Monica is entering.]
Monica: Well, nows a good time. Im on my way to have my ears cut off.
Monica: Is he crazy?! You just had Rosss baby!
Monica: What?! Are you crazy? You just had Rosss baby! Its-its so inappropriate. No, its worse than that. Its wrong. Its It is bigger than mine! (Rachels engagement ring.)
Rachel: Why not? I dont want to do this alone! And hes such a sweet guy and he loves me so much.
Chandler: Joey, you have to tell her whats going on! And what did it look like?!
Joey: I didnt look at it. Stupid babys head was blocking most of it.
Joey: Look, its not that easy. She said she wanted to marry me. I dont want to hurt her.
[Scene: Rachels Room, Ross is entering.]
Joey: It wasnt my ring! Its Rosss ring! Thats why I felt so bad Rach, because he was going to propose.
Joey: Oh thats right. Theres a lot going on here and I think I ate some bad fruit earlier.
(Theres a knock on the door and the Nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Nurse: Hey, she just woke up! Shes hungry. Why dont we give this another try?
Rachel: Shes doing it Look, shes breast-feeding look!
Joey: (looking at the ceiling) Ah, its beautiful.
Joey: No, Rach, I shouldve told you sooner. Its just that Man! That kid is going to town! (Joey makes his awkward exit.)
Rachel: Shes perfect.
Ross: Look, I-I know its not a proposal and I dont know where you are, but with everything thats been going on and with Emma and Ive been feeling
Rachel: Wh-whats that?
[Scene: Outside the Janitors Closet, there are people having sex and Mr. Geller is trying to give them some pamphlets.]
Chandler: Hey, I didnt make up the rules. Now, after you receive the doubling bonus, you get uh, one card. Now that one card could be worth $100 bringing your total to 1,500. (Joey gets excited.) Dont get to excited because thats not gonna happen unless you getNo way! (He takes the top card, which is the two of clubs. Of course, any card wouldve won. Chandler pays him.)
Monica: So you can like, bite, and pull peoples hair and stuff?
[Scene: Rosss bedroom, he has fallen asleep waiting for Emily to call. He is awaken by the phone.]
Sarah: Could you do me one favor, if its not too much trouble?
Monica: Yeah, its just something I picked up.
Chandler: (to Rachel) And you Ross, I believe, if you check Rachels bag you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there.
Rachel: Hi, Im sorry Im late but I am ready, ready to talk you up! When does Lizs father get here?
Story by: Adam Chase Teleplay by: Michael Curtis & Gregory S. Malins Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
The Director: Okay, all right. Lets do it. (He walks off.) And Action!
Cookie: No kiddin, thats the exact same drink I made myself right after I shot my husband.
Chandler: All right! Fine! But its just a lunch date, no more than an hour! And from now on I get my own dates, I dont want you setting me up with anybody ever again!
Monica: Thanks. (Joeys still patting the burn spot) I think you got it!
Chandler: Look you dont understand, Gandolf is amazing. Yknow youre never know whats gonna end up happening, you go out for a couple of beers and end up on a fishing boat to Nova Scotia!
Rachel: What?! You mean theyre not coming to a social event where theres no men and theres no booze?! Thats shocking! I dont care, as long as my moms here.
Teacher: Alrighty. Were gonna start with some basic third stage breathing exercises, so Mummies, why dont you get on your back? And... coaches, you should be supporting Mummys head.
Ross: Okay. Okay. I mean Ill be okay. Its just I dont think I handled it very well.
Phoebe: Umm Wow, all right. (Checks the book.) Wow! Yay! Ooh, Im gonna meet a guy! And really soon! And hes gonna be the man of my dreams. Probably not the guy I had a dream about last night. (Points at Chandler.)
[Scene: Central Perk, the gangs putting their coats on to leave.]
Monica: Y'know what, thats fine, maybe you havent grown up, but I have.
Richard: Wow. Y'know were back where we were. Honey, I would love to do all that, but nothings changed.
[Scene: Chandlers office, he is just finishing up a meeting with his boss and the rest of his team.]
Phoebe: Okay. Okay! Well okay, who do we know thats coming? Me. Are you?
Chandler: Its Clint! Clint!
Kathy: Oh. Well uh, (to Chandler) you not being able to talk may make this easier. Listen umm (She looks at the gang who are watching, they take the hint and leave them alone.) Listen I dont wanna be someone who comes between two best friends. I just, I cant stand seeing what this is doing to you guys, and I dont wanna be the cause of that. So, I dont think we can see each other anymore. Im gonna go to my moms in Chicago, Im gonna stay there for awhile. I think this couldve be something really amazing, but yknow this is probably for the best. Yknow? Im gonna miss you. Good-bye, Chandler.
Teacher: Lights please? And thats having a baby. Next week is our final class.
Janice: Please, its because otherwise I really dont know what I might do.
Joey: Oh my God. So thats it?! I only get to bring one guest?
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, its the middle of the night, hes waking up and discovers hes alone in bed.]
Monica: Just, I love you so much. Just Its just sometimes it bothers me that Im never gonna have that feeling. Yknow when you meet someone for the first time and its new and exciting? Yknow that rush?
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Courtney and Matthew are getting ready to do a scene where Monicas sick.]
Joey: Oh hey come on, dont-dont-dont do this! Umm, look let-let me tell you something, okay? Now when I watch you do a scene, Im thinking, "Boy, she-she is a great actress!" (Shes not buying it.) Uh but-but, I am also thinking, "She is hot!"
Ross: No, actually I thought about it when, when we were going out. Its how I imagined I uh, I would ask you to marry me.
Ross: Fine! Its your life! (Starts to storm out mad about his failed attempt at the manipulation of his best friend and sister, but stops and tries one last time.) I just dont want to see you guys break up! Which you will do if you move in together, (Monica and Chandler just stare at him.) but thats what you want, theres nothing I can do. (Opens the door and tries one more time.) DONT DO IT!!!!! (Finally leaves.)
Joeys Sister: I say, punch him Joey.
David: Where the story was that I was anticipating that I would be around to hear my sons first words spoken. But the scene was about that he wasnt supposed to be able to speak and, uh for some reason when we started doing the show
Joey: Hey-hey, whats going on?
Chandler: Okay. Uh, well dim the lights, dim the lights. (He goes to the light switch and finds its not a dimmer switch when he flips the lights off.) Or turn them out all together. Uh, no scented candles. Okay here. Here we go. (He sprays an aerosol air freshener above her.)
Chandler: Great. It was great. Shes ah, shes great, great looking, great personality, shes greatness.
Joey: Yeah for like a half an hour one night! Chandler, she wants you for the rest of her life! Youre so lucky! Look what I missed out on by not being there! Although you know what? It could never have worked like you guys did, cause you guys are perfect for each other. Yknow, we look at you and-and we see you together and it just it-it fits. Yknow? And you just know its gonna last forever.
Rachel: All right, would-would you mind just not going out with him again? Okay, just the idea of you and he and all these women, its justAnd I know hes my assistant and I cant date himbut it just bothers me, all right?!
Monica: Well, its a set and they should probably stay together.
Joey: And thats every month?
Monica: Yeah, ah, but Pheebs dont you think hes a little young to get married?
Chandler: No not okay, you cant look for Monicas presents!
[Scene: Phoebes birthday, shes telling everyone what she found out at Ursulas while sitting in Central Perk.]
Kim: Oh my God. He just gave you the coldest look I have ever seen. Its like he hates you. Then it is true.
Chandler: Nothin! This is the nine millionth ring store weve been too and I cant find the perfect ring! (Goes over to another display counter and starts pointing at rings.) Ugly ring! Ugly ring! Ugly ring! (Notices that one of the jewelers is watching him.) Its a beautiful selection. (The jeweler walks away slowly.)
Paul: Oh Rachel, Im so sorry. I didnt mean to overwhelm you. Its just that, when those gates open, you (Starts to breakdown.) Hard to close em. But they are closed now. Believe me.
Joey: Yeah, youre great! Okay, lets take it from
Joey: What the?! (Joey pounds the table and starts yelling at Rachel, and which is drowned out by applause. Rachel is desperately trying to tell Joey that hes on TV right now. He finally notices and he does his gracious loser face.)
Chandler: (noticing the woman on the screen) Whoa! Shes purty!
Joey: Youre ready to have a baby? My boys all grown up!
Monica: Thats because their nerves are probably deadened from being so stupid. But hey, y'know if you dont believe me, please, by my guest.
Chandler: Im sorry man, theres never a good time to (pauses) stop catching on fire.
Chandler: Oh, beautiful? Really? Beautiful? You think this is beautiful? (picks up the remote and presses a button, and he immediately makes a face that just looks like hes going to throw up!)
Chandler: Ill teach ya! Come on, come on, its really easy and really, really fun.
Ross: The carbon, its messy, I mean it gets on your fingers and causes, the, the ah, night blindness.
Ross: Youre never gonna believe it uh, Monica and Chandler are moving in again. Thats great news rightI mean for them. Right?
Phoebe: Oh, come on! I think hes ready to get rid of, what did you call it? The cheap knock-offs and dinosaur junk.
(Mr. Waltham admires Joshuas butt as he leaves.)
Phoebe: Oh, no, I meant that its weird that you only have nine now.
Ross: Hey, itll grow back, right? And she-shes really fun, and shes cool, and-and Im finally moving on. Y'know? I mean getting over Rachel was so (makes an incoherent nasal sound), y'know? Y'know, and Im finally feeling sane again. And now if I go up there, and-and I kiss her, and, Gooood I wanna kiss her, and-and-and it doesnt work out, right? Do I really wanna put myself through that again?
Chandler: Because its flattering! (Shivers harder) Come on Monica! Come on Monica! (He goes inside.)
Chloe: I want you to met some friends of mine. (Introduces him to Chandler and Joey) This guy is my hero, he comes in with some stuff he wants it blown up 400%, we said we dont do that, and he says you gotta. And y'know what, we did it. And now anytime anybody wants 400, we just say lets Ross it!
Rachel: No. I have got to get ready and go to a dinner at my bosses house. Its a very big deal, theres a lot of people there I have to meet.
Chandler: (To Monica) Go change! (To Phoebe) She doesnt want her parents to know shes drunk.
Rachel: Oh! Yay! Look! Theres a piece that doesnt have floor on it!
Phoebe: Yeah, but theres a two-year wait. And then what if you get engaged in two years and then you got to wait another two years for this place. Thats four years. Chandlers not gonna wait that long. Hes gonna find somebody else, yknow? Someone, someone who did put their name on the list. (Rachel agrees.)
Chandler: Joey? Got you a Joey Special, two pizzas! Joe? (The phone rings and he answers it) (On phone) Hello? (Takes the phone away from his mouth when he realizes what he just did and yells.) Damnit! (Back on phone.) Hello? (Listens.) No, Joeys not here right now, but I can take a message I think. (Listens) Hes still got a chance for the part?! Oh, thats great news! (Listens) Well no obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog. (Listens) Oh well, thats great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you! (Hangs up and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle.) Yes! (Reading what hes writing) Okay, Mac audition at 2:00. Allergy actor attacked. (Pause) By dog not flowers.
Monica: Yeah! Oh hes great, I love him. (Walks away and Chandler glares at Phoebe.)
Friend No. 2: Oh, isnt it exciting, I mean its like having a boyfriend for life.
Monica: Oh good, Im glad thats catching on.
[Scene: Monicas Restaurants Kitchen, shes cooking as one of her waiters, Stu, comes over to talk to her.]
Ross: (getting up) Okay! Fine! Fine! If-if this is what you think, forget about the whole three divorce thing! Okay, I-Ill go to my lawyers office right now and get this marriage annulled! Okay?! Because she means nothing to me! Noth(leans down to Megs ear)Nothing!!
Monica: (laughs) Please, its a relief is what it is, is what it is.
Phoebe: Wow! And hey, its cool if youre a lesbian! (Gives her a thumbs up)
Joey: (exiting from Chandlers room with the new roommate) Everything on your application looks really goodOhh! Just one last question umm, are you and your friends gonna be over here all the time like partying and hanging out?
[Cut to Monica and Rachels, theyre all there playing cards.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica have returned from Julies.]
Joey: Oh, you have no idea. And-and when were on stage I get to-to kiss her and-and touch her, but then she goes home with the director, and its like somebodys ripping out my heart!
Joey: That sketch you mentioned? Might it have looked a little something like this? (He shows her what hes been drawing.)
Joey: Check this out? Huh? (Joey has this big tall hat with a British flag on the front of it.) Yeah. Thats the stuff. What do you think?
Monica: Bet I know how that discussions going to go.
[Scene: Kates Apartment, Joey and Kate are returning from a night out on the town.]
Joey: Oh dont listen to him, hes just some guy who really wants the apartment, but I dont think hes gonna get it.
Ross: So, Dr. Green, hows the old boat.
Ross: (answering it) 1987, the day after Christmas, at Sean McMahons party. I played you one of my songs, yknow Interplanetary Courtship Ritual.
Chandler: Its a buffet man.
Susan: Hey, its so nice to finally meet you!
Ross: (clinking a wine glass) Can I have everyones attention please? Im uh; Im Ross Geller.
Joey: Oh! Tell her shes not marriage material.
Phoebe: Oh-oh, thats your thing.
Rachel: Thats your new job, day and night, she starts crying I need you here.
Rachel: Oh thanks, but listen, I was just at Monicas and she and Chandler had a big fight and theyre not moving in.
Chip: (on machine) Hey Monica, its Chip.
Ross: Here we go. (Plays one note) Yknow, Ive-Ive never played my stuff for anyone before, so its important that-that you understand its about communicating very private emotions. (Plays another note) Yknow, umm, you should-you should think of umm, my work as wordless sound poems. Thats what Im
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are sitting at a table. Monica is checking her makeup as Chandler suddenly has a horrifying thought and starts patting down his pockets until he finds what hes looking for and sighs in relief.]
Student: Oh its great, its a role on All My Children, Nick the boxer.
Phoebe: Its Monicas bed. What?
Monica: Okay! Oh God, yknow what? Its really bad.