words in movies
[Scene: Rachels Room, Joey moves Rosss coat to get the tissues Rachel wants and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.]
[Cut to Ross getting of an elevator carrying a bouquet of flowers and walking down the hall to Rachels room.]
[Cut back into Rachels room.]
Joey: Uh Look Rach (Ross enters.) Hey Ross is here! Hey look! Its my good friend Ross. Hey Ross.
Monica: (entering with everyone else including Mr. Geller) Hi! Hey look whos here!
Mr. Geller: Wheres my granddaughter? Ive been practicing my magic tricks.
Ross: Hey, wheres uh, wheres mom?
Monica: Oh, Aunt Liddys coming? That means we get five dollars each!
Ross: Uh Dad, Emmas in the nursery. Ill take you now. If you want, but (To Rachel) I really want to talk to you.
Phoebe: Yay! Its so exciting! Wow, you couldve done that with us there.
Joey: It wasnt my ring! It fell out of Rosss jacket! And when I knelt down to pick it up Rachel thought I was proposing!
Joey: I know! I know its awful.
Joey: (laughs) Now lets not get carried away. (He walks away as Monica comes over and hugs Chandler from behind.)
Monica: Come on! Come on, if we have sex again itll double our chances of getting pregnant. Do you think that closets still available?
Ross: (noticing something) Actually umm (He turns Mr. Gellers head to look at Emma.)
[Scene: Rachels Room, Phoebe is entering.]
Joey: (entering) Oh uh, hey Pheebs. Uh yknow what? Ill-Ill come back later. (He goes to leave but runs into Ross whos entering.)
[Scene: A hallway, Joey and Ross find Mr. Geller with his ear up against a janitors closet door.]
[Scene: Rachels Room, she is taking the ring out of Rosss jacket, looks at it, and puts it on her finger as Joey enters.]
Rachel: Of course! Oh Joey, this ring I its beautiful I love it!
Joey: Yeah uh look Rach, theres something I gotta tell ya.
(Theres a knock on the door and a nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Nurse: Its all right honey, it takes some babies a while to get it, but dont worry. Itll happen.
Rachel: Oh look, shes pulling away again! Do you think my nipples are too big for her mouth? (Joey gets embarrassed.) She looks scared. Doesnt she look scared?
Rachel: Its just so frustrating! Why doesnt she want my breast?!
Joey: I dont know! Maybe shes crazy! (Storms out.)
Ross: What, that we had a baby? Come on lets give him a little credit, although, he did eat a piece of plastic fruit earlier.
Phoebe: Oh, its a secret. Oh goodie! Yes! We havent done the secret thing in a long time.
Phoebe: All right, me too. (They go into her room and see that shes sleeping.) Should we wake her up?
Ross: No! No, come on let her sleep! Shes so exhausted.
Ross: Its mine.
[Scene: The Janitors Closet, Chandler and Monica are trying to figure out what to do now.]
Chandler: This is okay. Were all adults here; theres nothing to be ashamed of. Now, lets put our underwear in our pockets and walk out the door. (They do so and find Mr. Geller leaning against a wall stunned.)
Monica: Well, thats okay dad, we-we can wait until later.
Mr. Geller: Well you gotta get at it princess! When your mother and I were trying to conceive you, whenever she was ovulating, bam, we did it. Thats how I got my bad hip.
Chandler: Thats funny, this conversations how I got the bullet hole in my head.
[Scene: Rachels Room, Monica is entering.]
Monica: Well, nows a good time. Im on my way to have my ears cut off.
Monica: Is he crazy?! You just had Rosss baby!
Monica: What?! Are you crazy? You just had Rosss baby! Its-its so inappropriate. No, its worse than that. Its wrong. Its It is bigger than mine! (Rachels engagement ring.)
Rachel: Why not? I dont want to do this alone! And hes such a sweet guy and he loves me so much.
Chandler: Joey, you have to tell her whats going on! And what did it look like?!
Joey: I didnt look at it. Stupid babys head was blocking most of it.
Joey: Look, its not that easy. She said she wanted to marry me. I dont want to hurt her.
[Scene: Rachels Room, Ross is entering.]
Joey: It wasnt my ring! Its Rosss ring! Thats why I felt so bad Rach, because he was going to propose.
Joey: Oh thats right. Theres a lot going on here and I think I ate some bad fruit earlier.
(Theres a knock on the door and the Nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Nurse: Hey, she just woke up! Shes hungry. Why dont we give this another try?
Rachel: Shes doing it Look, shes breast-feeding look!
Joey: (looking at the ceiling) Ah, its beautiful.
Joey: No, Rach, I shouldve told you sooner. Its just that Man! That kid is going to town! (Joey makes his awkward exit.)
Rachel: Shes perfect.
Ross: Look, I-I know its not a proposal and I dont know where you are, but with everything thats been going on and with Emma and Ive been feeling
Rachel: Wh-whats that?
[Scene: Outside the Janitors Closet, there are people having sex and Mr. Geller is trying to give them some pamphlets.]
[Scene: Ms. McKennas Office, Chandler enters.]
Ross: Oh! Oh! Shes upside down but shes coming! Shes coming!
Phoebe: No thats what you do when you want to get the truth out of someone.
Phoebe: Hes miserable! What happened to him?
Will: Thats right, The I Hate Rachel Green Club!
[The next one is from Episode 608: The One With Rosss Teeth, Chandler is accusing Joey of becoming less of a man.]
Ross: Yeah thats what she said.
Chandler: Its not a real game! I made it up!
Rachel: Yeah! I dont think youre going to need it though. Okay, check this out. If its a girl, Rain.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Ross enters.]
[And with that, we go into another set of clips, this time from Rachels point of view.]
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Oh yes, one minute please. (To Phoebe) Its for you. Its the fire inspector.
Ross: Well, I tell you what. Why dont we uh, why dont we just stay here? Lets not see a movie, well just hang.
Monica: Thats my old dog. He passed away years ago.
Chandler: Ooh! Yes! Okay! Heres what we do, we-we forget it happened.
Joey: I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Yknow it wouldnt kill ya to respect your wifes privacy! (He walks away and into his apartment and looks the door.) Stupid closet full of bugs!
Ross: Ooh. What is the name of Chandlers fathers Las Vegas all-male burlesque?
Ross: Rach, come on, if you think about it, its actually kinda funny. (He laughs, and he laughs alone.) Okay, maybe its best not to think about it.
Chandler: Thats funny, I saw no phlegm.
Chandler: Should we tell Rachel theres an empty private room right next door to hers?
Mr. Heckles: I could be Chandlers new roommate.
Ross: Its a car Monica! Not a rocket ship!
Rachel: Thanks. (Crying) God this is so stupid! (Pause) How could I be upset over something I never had? Its negative?
Phoebe: (still reading the label) Oh my God! This is a six-hour pill! (Checks her watch) Thats it! Im out of the woods! Ohh! What a relief!
Rachel: Theyre having their baby! Its not fair Ross we got here first! Right after you left they wheeled her off into delivery. Oh but not before she gave me a juicy shot of little Jamie just crowning away.
(Ross resumes playing, this time accompanied by Phoebe screeching out Es in tune with Ross. While Phoebe is singing along, Rachel is having a very difficult time keeping a straight face. Thankfully, Ross gives up after a little while.)
Phoebe: Its negative.
Joey: What the hells the matter with you?! This is my favourite jersey.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is getting ready to go to Joeys premiere and Phoebe is still on hold.]
Rachel: No! No, shesShe was nice. I mean, shes a little slutty, but who isnt?
Rachel: Oh thank god, if Phoebe�s going, can we please take Emma home?
Ross: Oh yeah its fine. I guess the more muscles you have the more they can spasim out of control.
Monica: Yeah! (They turn to the camera, and Chandler does The Face again.) All right, maybe you dont have to smile. Lets try something else. Lets try umm, try looking sexy.
Bob: I just found out this is Chandlers office! Come on Toby, give me a hand!
Rachel: Well, sure, but they might think its kinda weird considering I dont work there anymore.
Joey: Thursday? But that�s Halloween.
Rachel: Um, Mon, Chandler�s not here.
Ross: Its possible, they have really sharp edges.
Ken: That�s not true. If you don�t wanna smoke �
(They start wrestling, only they are unable to move either ones arm despite a huge strain on their faces and a cheering crowd.)
Emily: I left a bra drying on the shower rod, you dont think your son will think its yours and be horribly traumatised?
Joey: Well, suppose until the babys born I laid off it. No extra animals would die, you-youd just be eating my animals.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel�s. Ross phones, Rachel and Emma are there.]
[Cut to Joey and Rachels, Joey enters and heads for his bedroom. He pushes open the door to find the duck.]
Phoebe: Now I know that they said that the umm, the hair straightener started the fire but I think Im partly at fault. You see, I didnt, I didnt tell you but umm, but I-I had recently refilled the tissues and so yknow lets just face it, thats just kindling! So I think its better that I stay at Joeys.
Monica: Its frightening.
Monica: How can you smoke in this day of age? Do you not seen that ad with a little kid walks to grandpa, it�s chilling.
Joey: Well off the top of my head uhh, maybe shes having her cake and eating it too. You being the cake and Richard being the too. Or!
Phoebe: Rachel, its okay. You dont have to do this. I believe you. All right? Okay, if-if you say that you kissed Melissa, then you kissed Melissa.
[Scene: Outside Ross and Rachel�s.]
Ross: No! No I cant. I mean Rachels out with some guy. My baby went with her. If anything that picture keeps moving further away.
Rachel: I mean I think Id say no to anybody right now. (Hearing this Gunther swoops back to cleaning tables.) Oh, but it was so strange. I mean Im standing there with this charming, cute guy, whos asking me to go out with him, which Im allowed to do, and I felt guilty. Y'know, like Id be cheating on Ross or something.
The Woman: It-its really heavy.
Chandler: Yeah, let�s celebrate life!
Joey: Not a problem. Oh, and just so you know, that guys not going to be bothering you about that baby thing anymore.
Ross: Great. So let�s get going?
Monica: You know what? Let�s not talk.
Mr. Treeger: (coming in from the bathroom) Whoa, hey, that ladys all kinds of naked.
Monica: That�s right, I got mine.
Chandler: Yeah, its two guys in a ring, and the rules are: Theyre are no rules.
Joey: Thanks. Thanks, but uh actually its just gonna be me again tonight.
Phoebe: �s a good toast.
Ross: Well, ??? think that�s us?
Joey: Hmm thats weird. I dont remember being in a move called benefits lapsed.
Chandler: What�s the matter with me? Why I�m such a girl?
Phoebe: Of course I can! Its just good sense to backup your backup! Look, Ive already lost Chandler!
Joey: Yeah? I just figured yknow, after living with you itd be an interesting change of pace to have a female roommate, yknow? Someone I can learn from, someone-someone whos different than me. And whats more different than me; a guy whos not 19 than say a girl who is 19? Enh? (Points to his head.) Not just a hat rack my friend!
Joey: That�s the best birthday ever.
Phoebe: (To Joey) Maybe its something you ate?
Woman: No! Its where you put the dirty ones!
Joey: Thats the title! Yeah! Yknow they really lucked out that the initials spell cheese.
Joey: Or maybe, its because youre hanging around here at 11:30 on a Wednesday. (Everybody gets up.)
Phoebe: Oh, I thought this was your party and it turns out its a party for Howard. He's just the sweetest little man! (A guest walks up to her.)
Ross: Well, if whats in the bottle is actually 30. I mean sometimes you get 30, sometimes its-its get 4, and I swear to God more often than not its just milk.
Joey: Oh yeah? All right, lets do it tonight.
Monica: I cant believe her, yknow its justits so typical.
Joey: [It�s just] So spooky, that�s all.
Monica: You only think its stupid because you suck at it.
Ross: Im, Im sorry you didnt get to go to Spacecamp, and Im hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttles Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.)
Rachel: Honey, its going to be okay. Hes been incredibly supportive of me, and if he gets a little upset; thats what the meatball sub is for. (She gives Dina a sandwich wrapped in aluminum foil.)
Phoebe: (angrily) Thats like the tenth time Ive peed since Ive been here!
Rachel: Ok, let’s work from the top down! (Joey nods, but then puzzled because he does not get it) Just work the bra, Joe!
Trudie Styler: Oh no, I know that wouldnt work. My husbands in concert.
Joey: Yep. I just, I just watched her sleep for like hours, just breathing in and breathing out. And then I knew she was dreaming cause, cause her eyes keep going like this. (He closes his eyes and moves them around, kinda like hes been processed by the devil, or something.)
Joey: Come on C.H.E.E.S.E., Im not leaving without you! Try routing your backup source through your primary CPU.
Phoebe: Whats the big deal, yknow? Its not like its a real marriage.
Joey: Thats not what she said last night. (Ross glares at him.)
Phoebe: Its-its not negative, its positive.
Rachel: Yeah, cause thats why you wont get Isabella Rosselini, geography.
Monica: Thats not true, you dont have a moustache.
Joey: Well, when Jake did it I saw that he was wearing womens underwear!
The Waiter: Actually were out of the lobster ravioli. (Putting Joeys menu under his arm.)
Earl: No! Thats just the "Hey Guy" guy. He says that to everybody! Hes the worst! Id like to take him with me!
Joey: Hey. I just saw a woman breast feeding both of her twins at the same time; it is like a freak show up here. (Notices shes wiping her eyes.) Whats the matter?
Uncle Dan: Heres a little something to get you started. (Hands them a check)
Phoebe: Ooh, Joey, thats actually a really good idea!
Phoebe: Oh, its like huge weight has been lifted! Cause look, (reads the side affects) no hair loss, not a rash, no hives, Im just so happy! Because no shortness of breath, no temporary euphoriaOh.
Phoebe: Oh good! Then youre in luck! Bens not my son!
Mrs. Green: Well uh, I dont have a gift because I wasnt invited until the last minute, but thank you so much for bringing that to everyones attention.
Joey: I know! Thats why they trashed me!