words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its 0-Dark:30, in other words its really, really early. Everyones asleep, and all through the apartments not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. That is except for the chick, who turns out to be a rooster and is crowing in the sun. Needless to say, this awakens Monica and Rachel who rush into their living room, searching for the cause of the sound.]
Rachel: What the hell is that?!! (to Monica) What the hell is that? Is that you? (Monica nods her head no, and Rachel realizes what is making that sound.) Ohhhhhhh! (storms over to Chandler and Joeys with Monica in trail.)
Joey: Its the chick! Shes going through some changes.
Chandler: Well the vet seems to think thats shes becoming a rooster. (The rooster crows.) Were getting a second opinion.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its later that morning, everybody has gotten up and Ross and Phoebe has joined them for breakfast. Rachel is returning from shopping.]
Rachel: Well, Ive been up since six. Thanks to somebodys dumb-ass rooster.
Phoebe: All right. Im gonna go to the fertility doctor and um, see if Im ready to have Frank and Alices embryo transferred into my uterus.
Joey: Shes mad because I know todays her laundry day and that means shes wearing her old lady underpants.
Joey: Yeah, whats that about?
Chandler: (to Rachel) And you Ross, I believe, if you check Rachels bag you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there.
Rachel: No! Theres no orange juice in there! We win!!
Chandler: Oh-oh, oh, oh-oh! (Whispers something in Joeys ear.)
Chandler: Well, we used theres up last night making scary faces.
Ross: Oh sure, "Ross will do it!" Its not like he has a job, or a child, or a life of his own.
[Scene: The Doctors office, Dr. Zane is examining Phoebe as Frank and Alice watch.]
Frank: Well, okay, so whats nowgo get, go get the eggs, put em in there.
Phoebe: Thats it! 25 percent? That means thats its like 75 percent chance of no baby at all!
Alice: Sweety, now, shes a woman, not a gumball machine.
Phoebe: Whoa!! Thatokay, thats a lot of pressure on me and my uterus. (to Dr. Zane) So, well okay, so is thereis maybe is there something that I can do yknow just to like help make sure I get pregnant?
Rachel: I know! I know, its such a huge, life-altering thing.
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
Ross: Its heads. (The guys celebrate.) Gentlemen, pick your category.
Ross: What is Monicas biggest pet peeve?
Ross: Thats correct. Ladies?
Joey: Its All Relative.
Ross: Every week, the TV Guide comes to Chandler and Joeys apartment. What name appears on the address label?
Rachel: Chandler gets it! Its Chandler Bing!
Chandler: Actually, its Miss Chinandolor Bong.
[Scene: The Doctors office, Phoebe is giving a pep talk to the petrie dish containing the embryos.]
Phoebe: Hello, tiny embryos. Well, Im-Im Phoebe Buffay, hi! Im-Im-Im hoping to be your uterus for the next nine months. You should know, that were doing this for Frank and Alice, who you know, youve been there! Umm, yknow they want you so much, so when you guys get in there, really grab on. Okay, and-and I promise that Ill keep you safe and warm until youre ready to have them take you home, so Oh! And also, umm next time you see me, Im screaming, dont worry, thats whats supposed to happen.
Rachel: (shouting) Its All Relative!!
Ross: Ooh. What is the name of Chandlers fathers Las Vegas all-male burlesque?
Rachel: Okay, so lets play for some pepper! Stop spending my money!
Rachel: Oooohh thats interesting.
Joey: Hey, no way, that roosters family!
Rachel: All right, lets do it.
Ross: You have 30 seconds. And the lightning round beginsstop it (Chandler stops jumping)now. What was Monicas nickname when she was a field hockey goalie?
Joey: Weekend at Bernies.
Chandler: Oh! (Whispers something in Joeys ear and then in Rosss ear.)
Ross: 11, unbelievable 11 is correct. (The guys celebrate.) All right, thats 4 for the guys. Ladies, youre up.
Ross: 30 seconds on the clock. 5 questions wins the game. The lightning round begins now! What is Joeys favorite food?
Ross: Correct. Chandler was how old when he first touched a girls breast?
Ross: Correct! What is Chandler Bings job?
Monica: Its umm, it has something to do with transponding.
Rachel: Oh-oh-oh, hes a transponcetranspondster!
Monica: Thats not even a word! I can get this! I can get this!
Joey: I call Monicas room!
Chandler: You cant just call Monicas room.
(Chandler grunts and turns around, sees that hes in sight of the room, and mouths damn!)
Chandler: Oh, I would never bet this apartment. Its too nice.
Phoebe: Well, freaked. Cause it turns out that the odds are really sucky. And! This is Frank and Alices like only shot. Like, they are literally putting all of their eggs in my basket.
Phoebe: Well the doctor says it takes a couple days, but my bodys always been a little faster than Western medicine.
Rachel: (entering from Chandlers bedroom, I guess, and sees the foosball table.) Oh my God! I cant believe you guys are actually think youre moving in here!
Joey: You cant just ignore the bet! Its a bet! You bet and you bet and if you lose, you lose the bet!
Monica: All right, look, I hate this as much as you, but if it makes you feel better, its all your fault.
Monica: Its only been a couple of hours, so just give it some time.
[Cut too later, the moving process is progressing steadily. Monica is trying to lift a heavy box, as Rachel comes in from Chandlers bedroom.]
Rachel: No! Put that box down! We are not going anywhere! This is my apartment and I like it! This is a girls apartment! That is a boys apartment, its dirty and it smells. This is pretty. Its-its so pretty! And look, and its-its purple! And Im telling you, you with the steady hand, I am not moving, and now I have got the steady hand. (She holds out her hand, which is shaking uncontrollably.)
Rachel: Thats right! You do what the hand says!
(Theres a knock on the door and Monica answers it.)
Frank: Umm, its a lollipop and a uh, a home pregnancy test.
Alice: So umm, you feel like taking a test? Theres only one question.
Phoebe: All right, I will. No, I will. But umm, yknow just remember that its still really early, okay so, if it says that Im not pregnant, that doesnt mean that Im not gonna get pregnant, okay and, and just please, just so I dont go completely nuts, just try not put all your hopes on this.
Rachel: No its not!
Frank: MY SISTERS GONNA HAVE MY BABY!!!!!!!
(She opens a door and they both scream at horror at whats inside of it.)
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Its not looking good.
Phoebe: No, its positive.
Mrs. Green: Oh no-no-no-no sweetheart, you stay put. Ill let myself out. Its like Im not here, which I almost wasnt.
Ross: Okay lets put aside that you (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) "accidentally" picked up my grandmothers ring and you (Does it again) "accidentally" proposed to Rachel.
Phoebe: Its just y'know, been a couple of hours, and she hasnt called. Not that I even care, y'know.
Rachel: Yeah but yknow what they say Mon, "Theres no such thing as bad press."
Chandler: Thats what I do now.
Rachel: (to everybody) All right, let’s get this party started, huh? Joey and Phoebe are gonna perform a little something for us.
Phoebe: What the smell from Joeys? No, I can hardly smell it over here.
Ross: Thats my gym.
Tag: (entering) Yeah? (She holds up the folder) You found them!! (Rachel is not amused, because shes still going to try to blame him for her mistake like every good boss.) Yknow what? Im not even going to gloat. Im just really relived this whole thing is over.
Monica: (entering quickly) Shes a hooker! Shes a hooker! Shes a (Stops as she sees her.) Hi! Uh, we spoke on the phone. (Goes and shakes the hookers hand.)
The Cooking Teacher: Thats very good, whats your name?
Phoebe: Okay I cant let you do this! Shes lying to you.
[Cut to Monica and Ross leaving Joey and Chandlers hotel room in London. As they exit Joey and Chandler enter from the bathroom with both of their pants down around their ankles.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is not doing the dishes. She hears someone coming up the stairs and quickly puts down her magazine and pretends like shes actually doing the dishes.]
Monica: Thats right.
The Cooking Teacher: Okay. Lets move on.
Phoebe: Oh! Its okay, you calm down after a while and then people can see how really sweet and wonderful you really are.
(The teacher goes to Joeys station.)
Monica: Is this the video of the baby being born? Sweetie, this is Phoebes. Why were you even watching it?
Rachel: Ohh! (walking away from the window) Phoebe, this is all your fault! Now he loves her, hes gonna marry her, and this is all your fault.
The Interviewer: So lets talk a little bit about your duties.
Ross: Oh Rach thats great. Thats great. (They hug and Joey breathes a sigh of relief.)
Monica: Its the salts.
Ross: Whats uh, whats going on? Do you not, do you not like Katie?
Ross: Okay, so whats the matter?
Joey: Well, theres gonna be strippers there. He didnt say anything about no strippers.
Chandler: Well its very unsettling.
Monica: Do you guys know what happened to Chandlers barca lounger?
Phoebe: Oh look its Parker!
Joey: Rach, its, its ah, its not that we dont want to, really. (quietly) Are we talking models in their underwear?
Chandler: Hes not snoozing, hes teaching a class.
Phoebe: (reading from the note) Good-bye Phoebe and Ursula. Ill miss you. P.S. Your Mom lives in Montauk. You just wrote this!
Monica: Oh look, the pool tables free. Rack em up. Ill be back in just a minute. Get ready for me to whip your butt.
The Instructor: Okay ladies, that ends todays class, and lets remember, lets be safe out there.
Chandler: So, hows the hideously inappropriate crush on Rachel coming?
Monica: Shes over a week late! She gotta have it today, right?
Chandler: Its just so glamorous.
Monica: Chandler theres nothing wrong with crying! I mean you dont have to be so macho all the time.
Phoebe: Its interesting that you lost. Now, I forget, do you like to lose?
Joey: Thats not gonna happen. No. (Looks up) Because we have a new deal!
Monica: Shes in the bathroom.
Rachel: (entering) All right, all right. Lets go!
Monica: You know thats nice, y'know we could put it back there after the surgeons remove it from your colon!
{Transcribers Note: This is where Part II begins, which means this is now episode 616.}
Phoebe: Thats it?! You call that a fight? Come on! "We were on a break!" "No we werent!" What happened to you two?!
Joey: (announcer voice to the camera) Lets play Bamboozled!
Dr. Long: Okay, theres an herbal tea you can drink.
Ross: Its sex.
Rachel: Ross, whats the big deal? So I kissed the guy!
Phoebe: Thats all right, Ill work here. This is goo, next to this plant. (She picks a place in the lobby next to a plant.)
Elizabeth: Just hearing you describe it as forbidden, its really hot.
The Director: (returning) Okay, Im afraid to say this, but lets pick it up where we left off.
Joey: Hey! Look, if it didnt work its because you didnt tell it right! Show me how you did it.
Ross: Thanks. (When shes gone he collapses into Joey.) I-I think Im dying. I really do.
Phoebe: So, he a little enthusiastic, whats wrong with that?
Joey: Oh? Oh! Okay! Okay! Lets hear their plan! Now, whats the future look like for Dina and Bobby?
Joey: That sounds like another word to me! Are you gonna take this seriously? (Theres no response from Chandler.) Okay.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Chandler is sitting on the couch staring at the tape on the coffee table with his eyes huge and his mouth wide open.]
Rachel: Thats so sweet.
Ross: Its funny you should mention diapers.
Monica: Thats it! Right there! Is all I wanted!
Joey: Yeah, but its not a big deal.
Don: Thats exactly what I said. Phoebe, isnt that strange.
Ross: Okay, whats up?
Ross: Oh come on! Thats-thats true.
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey. Whos that?
Joey: God. Hes crazy! Why doesnt he want to be with Rachel?
Gunther: We dont give anything away unless its someones birthday.
(Hes still spitting and Joey holds his script in front of his face.)
Mrs. Green: Now dont worry! Everythings gonna be okay. (Hugs Rachel while she is standing and Rachel is sitting, seeing this Monica decides to join in on the hugging by hugging Mrs. Green from behind her back.)
Rachel: Hes looking at me.
Monica: (the hands still there) When-when you were little you slept through the Grand Canyon. (She actually itches her nose this time.)
Monica: And its so clean!!
Ross: Thats it. Thats it.
Mr. Geller: I think I accidentally used Monicas boxes to keep the water away from the Porsche.
Monica: Rosss parents are my parents!
Joey: And-and theres no danger to her and the baby?
Mrs. Geller: (Looking around at the chapel.) Oh my God! Its like a fairyland.
Nurse: Hes in room 816.
Monica: Thats true! (Happily) I knew I married you for a reason!
Rachel: Come on, its not a big deal! We stayed up all night coming up with a plan so that us dating will not be a problem.
Rachel: Okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay! I got it! I got it! I got it! I cant! I cant! I cant! I cannot go with you and my sister thing. Okay? I just cant. Its just too weird, all right? I imagine the two of you together and I freak out. It freaks me out. I cant do it! I cant do it.
Joey: (looks in the window) Hes not really my type.
Ross: Well lets just say (singing) Rosss caaaaan!
[Cut to later in that episode. Monica and Chandler are confronting Joey in his apartment about Phoebes knowledge.]
Monica: Okay, Joeys gonna catch it, and you and I are gonna block.
Nurse: (calling to the woman) This rooms available.
Ross: And yet somehow its true!
Dina: I cant believe shes really gone. Look around you, all of this is ours. (They move into kiss but; theyre stopped by Joey entering with a huge bandage wrapped around his head.)
Ross: (To Rachel) Squeeze your legs together and cover the babys ears!
Joey: Uh, well hes 33.
The Director: Okay. (to Alex) All right uh, Alex now when Joey says his line, "Take good care of your Momma son," thats your cue to cry. Got it? (Alex nods yes.) All right, lets do this.
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
Janice: Its you. This is yours.
The Fireman: Please reattach this, its against the law to disconnect them.
Rachel: Ooh, I miss dating. Gettin all dressed up and going to a fancy restaurant. Im not gonna be able to do that for so long, and its so much fun! I mean not that sitting at home worrying about giving birth to a sixteen pound baby is not fun.
Cliff: Oh my God! Thats the doctor who was in my room before!
Cliff: That-thats him! You know him?