words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its 0-Dark:30, in other words its really, really early. Everyones asleep, and all through the apartments not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. That is except for the chick, who turns out to be a rooster and is crowing in the sun. Needless to say, this awakens Monica and Rachel who rush into their living room, searching for the cause of the sound.]
Rachel: What the hell is that?!! (to Monica) What the hell is that? Is that you? (Monica nods her head no, and Rachel realizes what is making that sound.) Ohhhhhhh! (storms over to Chandler and Joeys with Monica in trail.)
Joey: Its the chick! Shes going through some changes.
Chandler: Well the vet seems to think thats shes becoming a rooster. (The rooster crows.) Were getting a second opinion.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its later that morning, everybody has gotten up and Ross and Phoebe has joined them for breakfast. Rachel is returning from shopping.]
Rachel: Well, Ive been up since six. Thanks to somebodys dumb-ass rooster.
Phoebe: All right. Im gonna go to the fertility doctor and um, see if Im ready to have Frank and Alices embryo transferred into my uterus.
Joey: Shes mad because I know todays her laundry day and that means shes wearing her old lady underpants.
Joey: Yeah, whats that about?
Chandler: (to Rachel) And you Ross, I believe, if you check Rachels bag you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there.
Rachel: No! Theres no orange juice in there! We win!!
Chandler: Oh-oh, oh, oh-oh! (Whispers something in Joeys ear.)
Chandler: Well, we used theres up last night making scary faces.
Ross: Oh sure, "Ross will do it!" Its not like he has a job, or a child, or a life of his own.
[Scene: The Doctors office, Dr. Zane is examining Phoebe as Frank and Alice watch.]
Frank: Well, okay, so whats nowgo get, go get the eggs, put em in there.
Phoebe: Thats it! 25 percent? That means thats its like 75 percent chance of no baby at all!
Alice: Sweety, now, shes a woman, not a gumball machine.
Phoebe: Whoa!! Thatokay, thats a lot of pressure on me and my uterus. (to Dr. Zane) So, well okay, so is thereis maybe is there something that I can do yknow just to like help make sure I get pregnant?
Rachel: I know! I know, its such a huge, life-altering thing.
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
Ross: Its heads. (The guys celebrate.) Gentlemen, pick your category.
Ross: What is Monicas biggest pet peeve?
Ross: Thats correct. Ladies?
Joey: Its All Relative.
Ross: Every week, the TV Guide comes to Chandler and Joeys apartment. What name appears on the address label?
Rachel: Chandler gets it! Its Chandler Bing!
Chandler: Actually, its Miss Chinandolor Bong.
[Scene: The Doctors office, Phoebe is giving a pep talk to the petrie dish containing the embryos.]
Phoebe: Hello, tiny embryos. Well, Im-Im Phoebe Buffay, hi! Im-Im-Im hoping to be your uterus for the next nine months. You should know, that were doing this for Frank and Alice, who you know, youve been there! Umm, yknow they want you so much, so when you guys get in there, really grab on. Okay, and-and I promise that Ill keep you safe and warm until youre ready to have them take you home, so Oh! And also, umm next time you see me, Im screaming, dont worry, thats whats supposed to happen.
Rachel: (shouting) Its All Relative!!
Ross: Ooh. What is the name of Chandlers fathers Las Vegas all-male burlesque?
Rachel: Okay, so lets play for some pepper! Stop spending my money!
Rachel: Oooohh thats interesting.
Joey: Hey, no way, that roosters family!
Rachel: All right, lets do it.
Ross: You have 30 seconds. And the lightning round beginsstop it (Chandler stops jumping)now. What was Monicas nickname when she was a field hockey goalie?
Joey: Weekend at Bernies.
Chandler: Oh! (Whispers something in Joeys ear and then in Rosss ear.)
Ross: 11, unbelievable 11 is correct. (The guys celebrate.) All right, thats 4 for the guys. Ladies, youre up.
Ross: 30 seconds on the clock. 5 questions wins the game. The lightning round begins now! What is Joeys favorite food?
Ross: Correct. Chandler was how old when he first touched a girls breast?
Ross: Correct! What is Chandler Bings job?
Monica: Its umm, it has something to do with transponding.
Rachel: Oh-oh-oh, hes a transponcetranspondster!
Monica: Thats not even a word! I can get this! I can get this!
Joey: I call Monicas room!
Chandler: You cant just call Monicas room.
(Chandler grunts and turns around, sees that hes in sight of the room, and mouths damn!)
Chandler: Oh, I would never bet this apartment. Its too nice.
Phoebe: Well, freaked. Cause it turns out that the odds are really sucky. And! This is Frank and Alices like only shot. Like, they are literally putting all of their eggs in my basket.
Phoebe: Well the doctor says it takes a couple days, but my bodys always been a little faster than Western medicine.
Rachel: (entering from Chandlers bedroom, I guess, and sees the foosball table.) Oh my God! I cant believe you guys are actually think youre moving in here!
Joey: You cant just ignore the bet! Its a bet! You bet and you bet and if you lose, you lose the bet!
Monica: All right, look, I hate this as much as you, but if it makes you feel better, its all your fault.
Monica: Its only been a couple of hours, so just give it some time.
[Cut too later, the moving process is progressing steadily. Monica is trying to lift a heavy box, as Rachel comes in from Chandlers bedroom.]
Rachel: No! Put that box down! We are not going anywhere! This is my apartment and I like it! This is a girls apartment! That is a boys apartment, its dirty and it smells. This is pretty. Its-its so pretty! And look, and its-its purple! And Im telling you, you with the steady hand, I am not moving, and now I have got the steady hand. (She holds out her hand, which is shaking uncontrollably.)
Rachel: Thats right! You do what the hand says!
(Theres a knock on the door and Monica answers it.)
Frank: Umm, its a lollipop and a uh, a home pregnancy test.
Alice: So umm, you feel like taking a test? Theres only one question.
Phoebe: All right, I will. No, I will. But umm, yknow just remember that its still really early, okay so, if it says that Im not pregnant, that doesnt mean that Im not gonna get pregnant, okay and, and just please, just so I dont go completely nuts, just try not put all your hopes on this.
Rachel: No its not!
Frank: MY SISTERS GONNA HAVE MY BABY!!!!!!!
(She opens a door and they both scream at horror at whats inside of it.)
Phoebe: (to Robert) Youve have lipstick right here (points to her cheek). Thats okay, its mine, we just kissed.
Chandler: Hey Pheebs, whats up?
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe walks up to and knocks on Chandler and Monicas door.]
Joey: What? Whats going on?
Chandler: Okay. 1 2 3Go! (Once again hes at a stalemate, but this time hes in pain.) (Pause) Im gonna kill myself!
Joey: Oh thats amazing. (Drops the sheet.)
Joey: What, oh, oh, oh, no, no, I cant, I cant tell you that, its like the most awful, horrible thing Ive ever done my whole life.
[Scene: Monicas birthday, its just after the surprise.]
Joey: Hey Ross! The babys kicking!
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, Chandler is sitting at the kitchen table eating cheesecake. The box it came in is also on the table.]
Phoebe: Oh thats good, the chemistry thing for us too.
Joey: I dont know. Ooh, I bet its Richard.
Ross: No! For all I know, shes trying to find me but couldnt because I kept moving around. No, from now on, Im staying in one place. (He sits down on the bed.) Right here.
Joey: Yeah. Yeah, that thats exactly it. Youre right. Yeah.
[Scene: The museums worker cafeteria, Joey is eating lunch with the rest of the tour guides. Another tour guide tries to sit down in a seat Joey saved for Ross.]
Carol: What that woman... did. I am not doin that. Its just gonna have to stay in, thats all, everything will be the same, itll just stay in.
Ross: What? Why? Whats wrong?
Rachel: Yeah, everythings fine!
Joey: Hey uh, whats with the candy?
Ross: No really, you tell me whats up.
Phoebe: No, okay, youre right. Youre easy-going. Youre just not as easy-going as Rachel. Shes just more flexible and-and mellow. Thats all.
Chandler: Thats a good idea.
Monica: Whats going on?
Joey: Whats going on?
Joey: (To Rachel) Its like me when I was born.
Rachel: Whats up?
Chandler: (The room is filled with flowers and a floral print sheet on the bed.) Oh my God. What is th its like a guy never lived in here. Look, youve got to be careful. This girl thing is dangerous. (Looking around the living room.) Its spreading already.
Joey: What are they doing out here? The coasts all the way over there. (Points to the coast, meanwhile there is coast behind him.)
Joey: No, Rach, I shouldve told you sooner. Its just that Man! That kid is going to town! (Joey makes his awkward exit.)
Chandler: Okay, so thats it, everybody knows! Its official, were moving in together. No turning back. Are ya scared? Are ya?
Monica: Well its just umm Im afraid you might mess it up.
Joey: Okay Rach-Rach-Rach look at me, look at me, everythings gonna be fine, trust me. Okay. Take my hand. Here we go. (Rachel grabs his hand.) Oww crushing bones!
Phoebe: Thats it. Just relax.
Ross: I think Chandlers gone. (He hands her the note.)
Stu: So, tonights the night of the big bachelor party?
Ross: Hey, whats behind your back?
Chandler: Happy Valentines!
Chandler: Woah, woah, thats not pretty!
Monica: In the beginning where yknow its all sex and talking and sex and talking and
Joey: Okay, so thats another five hundred. Five hundred and five hundred, thats (Pauses to figure it out.)
Mr. Zelner: Its kind of a risky joke Tag, and what is-what is this drawing I cant figure out what this is?
Monica: Honey, whats going on?
Joey: Yeah, its for the kids. To keep the kids off drugs. Its a very important issue in this months Playboy. Im sure you all read about it.
Mona: I think its interesting.
Eric: Oh, mostly fashion, so there may be models here from time to time, I hope thats cool.
[Scene: The Hospital, Ross and Rachel, whos in a wheelchair, are arriving in the waiting room for the maternity ward.]
Joey: Hes breathing!
Joey: (slowly turning and glaring at her) Shes not even cold yet!
Ross: I think shes lonely.
Mona: Okay, but its Valentines Day!
Joey: No-no! I used to get paid for all kinds of medical stuff, remember? Lets see uh, well I dont want to donate sperm again. (To Ross) I really prefer doing that at the home office yknow? (Ross nods his head.) Ooh-ooh, maybe they want like some of my blood or-or spit or something, huh?
Monica: Shes right of course not. Honey, get the tape.
Monica: Its still beautiful.
Monica: Thats different, we were roommates! And when?!
Joey: Hey, whats up?
Chandler: Oh, its so hard to care when youre this relaxed.
Ross: Hey, hey, its me. Why cant you tell me?
Joey: Its nothing.
Ross: Shes not a Tribbiani?
Joey: Okay, uh sit down. (they do) Um theres this woman that I like. A lot. But, uh it cant happen.
Joey: Yeah, hes the best.
Joey: Its Rachel.
Phoebe: Well not clients, lovers. But lets just yknow, try it again. Come back and-and well work through it.
Phoebe: Oh no, I dont believe in Western medicine. No, if you just apply pressure to these points right here. (Shes pinching the bit of skin between her right thumb and forefinger with her left hand.) Then your hand starts to hurt and you still have a headache, so thanks. (Takes the pills.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachels. Rachel is standing in front of the TV holding a video.]
Monica: Thats not true, there are great pictures of us!
Joey: Yeah, hes the best.
Joey: Its Rachel.
Joey: Why wouldnt ya? Erin is great! Then-then theres you guys.
Ross: Rachel whos carrying my baby? Rachel?
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Well, whats he like?!
Phoebe: Well hes tall.
Phoebe: Well last night, I met Monicas.
Phoebe: Obviously, and hes British.
Rachel: Oh, its so sad they never had a chance to meet.
Phoebe: All right well lets see, Ross is a good father, but Joey has a boatThis is hard!
Ross: Hes not?
Joeys Sisters: (entering) Joey!!! Happy Birthday!! (all 7 of them look almost identical)
[Cut to later in that episode. Phoebe is telling Rachel in Monica and Chandlers that Chandler wants to make a date with Phoebe.]
Joey: Okay thats the green stuff talkin.
Chandler: Cheese you say? Thats some pretty smelly work, huh Don?
Rachel: Joey? Whats up?
Rachel: Okay whats up?
Phoebe: Okay, so Im done my part, okay. Its your responsibility now, okay. The burden is off me, right?
Monica: All right, whats going on?
Joey: Okay umm, I just came by to tell you that I want to have dinner with you tonight. Thats all.
Ross: All right Pheebs, your cabs ready.
Joey: Well, I guess youre right. Maybe, maybe Ill take her down to the incinerator. Its gonna be so said, and kinda cool. (He goes to remove the back, but it doesnt come off. So he sits down in it, puts his feet up, stands up, and looks back at it.) Shes heeled!
[Cut to Monica and Rachels as Ross walks through the door. Rachel is holding the chrome star and crying.]
[Cut the hallway, Rachel is exited from Monicas when the door closes on her skirt.]
Waiter No. 2: Whats the matter with them?
Monica: Whats up?
Conan: Matthew, you have a reputation with the rest of the cast that sometimes you like to, you like to fool around a bit. I mean like if somethings naturally going wrong you like to get in there and juice it a little bit. True or false?
Ross: Really?! (To Rachel) Hey, yknow what? Since you have such a great sense of what I need, uh ooh, heres-heres 60 bucks, why dont you take Phoebe down to that Colonial flea market of yours and get me some stuff.
Leslie: (singing) My best shoes, so good to me. I wear them everyday. Down at the heel, holes in the toes. Dont care what people say. My feets best friends, pals to the end. With them Im one hot chicky. Though late one night, not much light, I....
Monica: Yeah, but I love you more. Besides yknow, nothing goes with Bing. So Im screwed. I mean (Rachel hands Emma to Monica.) Oh, hi Emma. Yeah, thats you. Youre our little Em. Oh whats that honey? What? Oh, you want a little cousin? (To Chandler) You want a cousin right now?!
(She holds the phone out and starts taunting Phoebe. Phoebe calming knocks the phone out of Rachels hand and catches it.)
Ross: Thats okay, Ill just pick em off.
Ross: Thats my favorite shirt! Okay? I love that shirt!
Matt: (noticing the laughter) Why? Whats the matter?