words in movies
Joey: Okay Rach, that muffin and espresso, $4.50. Ross, double latte, $2.75. Chandler, coffee and a scone, $4.25. And Pheebs, herbal tea, $1.25. So, all together thats (pauses to figure the total) $12.75.
Joey: Oh thats on the house courtesy of Joey Tribbiani.
Joey: Well, hes not used to women being so forward with him; but uh, I good check with himHe says its okay. (She hands him her card.) Great! Thanks! Bye-bye!
Phoebe: Oh I do! (She grabs her huge purse and starts rummaging through it and taking out various items in a futile search for the gum.) Oh, yknow what? No. (Pause) Wait a second. (She removes a bag filled with water that has a goldfish swimming in it.) I know its in here somewhere.
Rachel: Honey, no one thinks youre a pansy, but we do think you need a tissue. (She notices something hanging from Monicas nose, as does Joey.)
Monica: Im fine-d. Im fine-d! Yknow, its a really hard word to say.
(Theres a knock on the door. The gang is stunned and Phoebe counts to make sure that everyone is there. Out of curiosity Chandler goes and answers the door.)
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
Phoebe: (To Ross) Which-which sister is this? Is this the spoiled one or thats bitter?
Jill: That he wouldnt pay for my lawyer! Then he told me to come here and learn about the value of money from the one daughter hes actually proud off.
Rachel: Oh! Did you hear that?! My dads proud of me! My dads proud of me.
Jill: Oh, thats so great! Okay, Im really gonna do this! I dont know how to thank you guys.
Joey: Well if its free food, how come youre charging me for it?
Gunther: We dont give anything away unless its someones birthday.
Phoebe: Seriously, I dont Rachels gonna think its a good idea.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Whats goin on?
Rachel: (notices Jills bags) Jill! Did you shop?!
Rachel: You went shopping?! What, and then you just came in here and paraded it right under Jills nose when you know shes trying to quit. Wow, you guys are terrible!
Ross: Its a rug. (Jill winces.)
Rachel: Oh, come on! You think thats gonna work on me?! I invented that!
Rachel: All right, its okay. One little setback is okay, just dont let it happen again, all right? Now since daddy paid for all this stuff, I should take it all away. But Im just gonna take the-the pajmena. (Ross hands it to her.) And the uh, and the uh pants. Yknow what, Im just gonna take it all away, cause that way youll just really learn the lesson. Okay? All righty, Im gonna run a couple of errands and I will see you at dinner. (Leaves with all of Jills stuff.)
Jill: (gasps) Thats the best one! Oh my God, (hugs him) thank you so much!
Monica: Okay, so what do you, what do you want to do? Lets do something crazy!
Chandler: I know, lets rest and drink lots of fluids. (Holds up a glass of orange juice.)
Chandler: Dont take this personally okay? Its just that I just cant have sex with a sick person.
Monica: Im with you Chandler! I mean I cant have sex with a sick person either, thats disgusting! But Im not sick! Let me prove it to you. We are two healthy people in the pribe of libe.
Chandler: Thats the thing, see I would like to stay in the pribe of mwha-ah-libe.
Rachel: Whats up?!
Phoebe: Umm, I think theres something you should maybe know.
Phoebe: No. No. Its just I was umm, I was with Ross and Jill after you left and umm, Im pretty sure I saw a little spark between them.
Phoebe: Yeah I mean its probably nothing, but I just wanted to warn you that there might be something there.
Joey: Its just I cant because my manager said I (Gets an idea) (Starts singing) "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Annie
A Male Customer: Hey, thats weird, todays my birthday too!
Jill: (entering) Sorry Im late, whats up?
Jill: No! I mean hes nice.
Jill: Hes the kind of guy youre friends with, yknow? But hes not the kind of guy you date. Hes the kind of guy youd date because you did. Me, not so much.
Jill: Oh no-no-no, hes just I dont know, hes just a little bookish.
Rachel: Are-are you saying hes a geek?
Jill: Fine, then lets just say hes not my type.
Rachel: Oh no-no-no, no-no-no, thats not what I meant.
Rachel: Yeah but, hes not your type.
Jill: Yeah but maybe thats a good thing. Yknow Im doing all these different sorts of things, and maybe I should try dating a geek too!
Chandler: Oh what is it honey, you need some tea? Some soup? (He gets up from the couch and goes into the bedroom to find Monica, still in the robe, lying seductively on the bed. Or at least shes trying too and as he enters the room, she takes the robe off on of her legs.) Oh-ohhhh!
Chandler: I was asleep. (She takes off her robe and starts to shiver) Oh no! No-no honey! Yknow whats sexy? Layers. Layers are sexy. And blankets are sexy. And oh! Hot water bottles are sexy.
Joey: What? No-no its her birthday!
Ross: Oh wow! I mean, wow! I mean, I-I-I think shes cute but I-I would never have thought of going out with her, never!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still sick and is hobbling out into the living room for some help from Chandler whos on the couch reading.]
Chandler: Its nice.
Chandler: Its all very, very good. (She covers up and sits down.) So you wanna go uh, mix it up?
Jill: This is where Ross and I are meeting for our date. So, what do you think? (She spins to show Rachel the outfit shes wearing.)
Rachel: Its kinda slutty.
Jill: Its yours!
Rachel: Yeah I know, and I bet you thought it would be weird. But its not!
(Theres an awkward silence.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel enters and walks quickly over to the window to watch Rosss apartment. We see that Rosss apartment is empty.]
Rachel: Oh yes, its me! Sorry!
Monica: (entering with Chandler) Who? (She looks out the window at Rosss apartment) Is that your sister?
Rachel: Oh my God, look-look hes taking off her clothes!
Chandler: Hes taking off her coat!
(We see that Ross is taking off Jills coat.)
Monica: Oh no its not, no its not. Its a first date. Im sure that nothing is gonna (as she is talking we see Ross close his drapes.)
Chandler: Ho-oh, hes gonna get some! (Rachel looks at him.) Of the glare from the streetlight out of his apartment. Yknow so umm, hes closed the drapes there so he can have a nice, pleasant conversation with your little sister. (Pause) Well, Im off to bed! (Goes to bed.)
Phoebe: Thats it?! You call that a fight? Come on! "We were on a break!" "No we werent!" What happened to you two?!
Joey: (announcer voice to the camera) Lets play Bamboozled!
Dr. Long: Okay, theres an herbal tea you can drink.
Ross: Its sex.
Rachel: Ross, whats the big deal? So I kissed the guy!
Phoebe: Thats all right, Ill work here. This is goo, next to this plant. (She picks a place in the lobby next to a plant.)
Elizabeth: Just hearing you describe it as forbidden, its really hot.
The Director: (returning) Okay, Im afraid to say this, but lets pick it up where we left off.
Joey: Hey! Look, if it didnt work its because you didnt tell it right! Show me how you did it.
Ross: Thanks. (When shes gone he collapses into Joey.) I-I think Im dying. I really do.
Phoebe: So, he a little enthusiastic, whats wrong with that?
Joey: Oh? Oh! Okay! Okay! Lets hear their plan! Now, whats the future look like for Dina and Bobby?
Joey: That sounds like another word to me! Are you gonna take this seriously? (Theres no response from Chandler.) Okay.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Chandler is sitting on the couch staring at the tape on the coffee table with his eyes huge and his mouth wide open.]
Rachel: Thats so sweet.
Ross: Its funny you should mention diapers.
Monica: Thats it! Right there! Is all I wanted!
Joey: Yeah, but its not a big deal.
Don: Thats exactly what I said. Phoebe, isnt that strange.
Ross: Okay, whats up?
Ross: Oh come on! Thats-thats true.
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey. Whos that?
Joey: God. Hes crazy! Why doesnt he want to be with Rachel?
(Hes still spitting and Joey holds his script in front of his face.)
Mrs. Green: Now dont worry! Everythings gonna be okay. (Hugs Rachel while she is standing and Rachel is sitting, seeing this Monica decides to join in on the hugging by hugging Mrs. Green from behind her back.)
Rachel: Hes looking at me.
Monica: (the hands still there) When-when you were little you slept through the Grand Canyon. (She actually itches her nose this time.)
Monica: And its so clean!!
Ross: Thats it. Thats it.
Mr. Geller: I think I accidentally used Monicas boxes to keep the water away from the Porsche.
Monica: Rosss parents are my parents!
Joey: And-and theres no danger to her and the baby?
Mrs. Geller: (Looking around at the chapel.) Oh my God! Its like a fairyland.
Nurse: Hes in room 816.
Monica: Thats true! (Happily) I knew I married you for a reason!
Rachel: Come on, its not a big deal! We stayed up all night coming up with a plan so that us dating will not be a problem.
Rachel: Okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay! I got it! I got it! I got it! I cant! I cant! I cant! I cannot go with you and my sister thing. Okay? I just cant. Its just too weird, all right? I imagine the two of you together and I freak out. It freaks me out. I cant do it! I cant do it.
Joey: (looks in the window) Hes not really my type.
Ross: Well lets just say (singing) Rosss caaaaan!
[Cut to later in that episode. Monica and Chandler are confronting Joey in his apartment about Phoebes knowledge.]
Monica: Okay, Joeys gonna catch it, and you and I are gonna block.
Nurse: (calling to the woman) This rooms available.
Ross: And yet somehow its true!
Dina: I cant believe shes really gone. Look around you, all of this is ours. (They move into kiss but; theyre stopped by Joey entering with a huge bandage wrapped around his head.)
Ross: (To Rachel) Squeeze your legs together and cover the babys ears!
Joey: Uh, well hes 33.
The Director: Okay. (to Alex) All right uh, Alex now when Joey says his line, "Take good care of your Momma son," thats your cue to cry. Got it? (Alex nods yes.) All right, lets do this.
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
Janice: Its you. This is yours.
The Fireman: Please reattach this, its against the law to disconnect them.
Rachel: Ooh, I miss dating. Gettin all dressed up and going to a fancy restaurant. Im not gonna be able to do that for so long, and its so much fun! I mean not that sitting at home worrying about giving birth to a sixteen pound baby is not fun.
Cliff: Oh my God! Thats the doctor who was in my room before!
Cliff: That-thats him! You know him?
Rachel: I know! I know, she says its all mass-produced, nothing is authentic, and everyone winds up having the same stuff. (Ross looks at his table.) So come on, shes gonna be here any second! Can we please just cover this up with something?! Please?
Rachel: Oh, shes so tiny. (Starts crying) Whered she go?
Ross: Oh shes shes perfect.
(The band starts to play, and the recessional starts. Ross tries to take Emilys hand, but she snatches it away from him.)
Monica: Oh my God! Its like one mind.
Joey: Whats the matter now?
Monica: Whats the matter?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is trying to erase Chandlers dirty words while he looks on.]
Frank: MY SISTERS GONNA HAVE MY BABY!!!!!!!
Monica: Its okay honey, youll find a name.
Monica: Okay. Its Emma.
Monica: Its clearly an Emma.
Chandler: (giggles) My friends name is Joey.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Joey and Phoebe are reading a scene from Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
Ross: Yeah. Shes putting her down now, thats her. (Points to the nurse putting Emma now.)
Ross: Its its complicated okay?
Phoebe: Okay, you guys. You guys I think I know whats going on here. Okay, you guys STOP!! (They stop.) I know that, I know that youre acting mad because you think that itll make it easier to leave. But deep down youre still really sad. Deep-deep down.
Rachel: Hes perfect, hes never been better.
Rachel: Okay, you guys, just relax. (She goes over to open the door, and as she does, she says.) I doooo. (Sees that its Joshua, not Chandler that knocked on the door.)
[Cut back into Rachels room.]
Chandler: Nooo!! Shes really dull! And she gets this gross mascara goop thing in the corner of her eye!
Ross: Hey, wheres uh, wheres mom?
Evil Bitch: Shes in labor! You like that you sick son of a bitch!
Pete: I want to become the Ultimate Fighting Champion! Its the most intense physical competition in the world, its banned in 49 states!
Joey: Yeah uh look Rach, theres something I gotta tell ya.
[Scene: Rosss apartment, he and Emily are addressing their invitations.]
Joey: I dont know! Maybe shes crazy! (Storms out.)
Mr. Waltham: Well theres one (pointing towards Jack) and theres another (pointing towards Judy).
Ross: Its mine.
Monica: Damnit! Damnit!! Heres your fifty bucks! (Pays Phoebe.)
Monica: Well, thats okay dad, we-we can wait until later.
[Scene: Chandlers Office Building, Chandler is walking by the elevators and sees Bob standing there.]
[Scene: Rachels Room, Monica is entering.]
Chandler: Joey, you have to tell her whats going on! And what did it look like?!
(Theres a knock on the door and the Nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Ginger: Its okay if it bothers you. Really. I mean the only thing I need to know is: How much it bothers you? because I dont like wasting my time. Am I wasting my time?
Rachel: Shes perfect.
[Scene: Rachels Hospital Room, Ross is sitting next to Rachel.]
Joey: Hey so wheres Ross?
Monica: (to Ross) Honey, its not pushy, he gave her his home number.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Phoebe, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are watching Emma sleep.]
Phoebe: You know thats thats her.
Chandler: (not knowing what hes saying yes to) Yes.
(Chandler smiles and nods then realizes what hes agreed to.)
Rachel: Ugh, those bastards! Lets go.
Chandler: We cant do that thats insane. I mean A he could wake up and B yknow, lets go for it.
Rachel: Yes okay. (Checking the speed dial again.) Well now see this isnt telling us anything. (Reading the speed dial) Joe. Carlos. Peter. Ooh! Peter Luger! T hats a steak house!