words in movies
Joey: Okay Rach, that muffin and espresso, $4.50. Ross, double latte, $2.75. Chandler, coffee and a scone, $4.25. And Pheebs, herbal tea, $1.25. So, all together thats (pauses to figure the total) $12.75.
Joey: Oh thats on the house courtesy of Joey Tribbiani.
Joey: Well, hes not used to women being so forward with him; but uh, I good check with himHe says its okay. (She hands him her card.) Great! Thanks! Bye-bye!
Phoebe: Oh I do! (She grabs her huge purse and starts rummaging through it and taking out various items in a futile search for the gum.) Oh, yknow what? No. (Pause) Wait a second. (She removes a bag filled with water that has a goldfish swimming in it.) I know its in here somewhere.
Rachel: Honey, no one thinks youre a pansy, but we do think you need a tissue. (She notices something hanging from Monicas nose, as does Joey.)
Monica: Im fine-d. Im fine-d! Yknow, its a really hard word to say.
(Theres a knock on the door. The gang is stunned and Phoebe counts to make sure that everyone is there. Out of curiosity Chandler goes and answers the door.)
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
Phoebe: (To Ross) Which-which sister is this? Is this the spoiled one or thats bitter?
Jill: That he wouldnt pay for my lawyer! Then he told me to come here and learn about the value of money from the one daughter hes actually proud off.
Rachel: Oh! Did you hear that?! My dads proud of me! My dads proud of me.
Jill: Oh, thats so great! Okay, Im really gonna do this! I dont know how to thank you guys.
Joey: Well if its free food, how come youre charging me for it?
Gunther: We dont give anything away unless its someones birthday.
Phoebe: Seriously, I dont Rachels gonna think its a good idea.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Whats goin on?
Rachel: (notices Jills bags) Jill! Did you shop?!
Rachel: You went shopping?! What, and then you just came in here and paraded it right under Jills nose when you know shes trying to quit. Wow, you guys are terrible!
Ross: Its a rug. (Jill winces.)
Rachel: Oh, come on! You think thats gonna work on me?! I invented that!
Rachel: All right, its okay. One little setback is okay, just dont let it happen again, all right? Now since daddy paid for all this stuff, I should take it all away. But Im just gonna take the-the pajmena. (Ross hands it to her.) And the uh, and the uh pants. Yknow what, Im just gonna take it all away, cause that way youll just really learn the lesson. Okay? All righty, Im gonna run a couple of errands and I will see you at dinner. (Leaves with all of Jills stuff.)
Jill: (gasps) Thats the best one! Oh my God, (hugs him) thank you so much!
Monica: Okay, so what do you, what do you want to do? Lets do something crazy!
Chandler: I know, lets rest and drink lots of fluids. (Holds up a glass of orange juice.)
Chandler: Dont take this personally okay? Its just that I just cant have sex with a sick person.
Monica: Im with you Chandler! I mean I cant have sex with a sick person either, thats disgusting! But Im not sick! Let me prove it to you. We are two healthy people in the pribe of libe.
Chandler: Thats the thing, see I would like to stay in the pribe of mwha-ah-libe.
Rachel: Whats up?!
Phoebe: Umm, I think theres something you should maybe know.
Phoebe: No. No. Its just I was umm, I was with Ross and Jill after you left and umm, Im pretty sure I saw a little spark between them.
Phoebe: Yeah I mean its probably nothing, but I just wanted to warn you that there might be something there.
Joey: Its just I cant because my manager said I (Gets an idea) (Starts singing) "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Annie
A Male Customer: Hey, thats weird, todays my birthday too!
Jill: (entering) Sorry Im late, whats up?
Jill: No! I mean hes nice.
Jill: Hes the kind of guy youre friends with, yknow? But hes not the kind of guy you date. Hes the kind of guy youd date because you did. Me, not so much.
Jill: Oh no-no-no, hes just I dont know, hes just a little bookish.
Rachel: Are-are you saying hes a geek?
Jill: Fine, then lets just say hes not my type.
Rachel: Oh no-no-no, no-no-no, thats not what I meant.
Rachel: Yeah but, hes not your type.
Jill: Yeah but maybe thats a good thing. Yknow Im doing all these different sorts of things, and maybe I should try dating a geek too!
Chandler: Oh what is it honey, you need some tea? Some soup? (He gets up from the couch and goes into the bedroom to find Monica, still in the robe, lying seductively on the bed. Or at least shes trying too and as he enters the room, she takes the robe off on of her legs.) Oh-ohhhh!
Chandler: I was asleep. (She takes off her robe and starts to shiver) Oh no! No-no honey! Yknow whats sexy? Layers. Layers are sexy. And blankets are sexy. And oh! Hot water bottles are sexy.
Joey: What? No-no its her birthday!
Ross: Oh wow! I mean, wow! I mean, I-I-I think shes cute but I-I would never have thought of going out with her, never!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still sick and is hobbling out into the living room for some help from Chandler whos on the couch reading.]
Chandler: Its nice.
Chandler: Its all very, very good. (She covers up and sits down.) So you wanna go uh, mix it up?
Jill: This is where Ross and I are meeting for our date. So, what do you think? (She spins to show Rachel the outfit shes wearing.)
Rachel: Its kinda slutty.
Jill: Its yours!
Rachel: Yeah I know, and I bet you thought it would be weird. But its not!
(Theres an awkward silence.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel enters and walks quickly over to the window to watch Rosss apartment. We see that Rosss apartment is empty.]
Rachel: Oh yes, its me! Sorry!
Monica: (entering with Chandler) Who? (She looks out the window at Rosss apartment) Is that your sister?
Rachel: Oh my God, look-look hes taking off her clothes!
Chandler: Hes taking off her coat!
(We see that Ross is taking off Jills coat.)
Monica: Oh no its not, no its not. Its a first date. Im sure that nothing is gonna (as she is talking we see Ross close his drapes.)
Chandler: Ho-oh, hes gonna get some! (Rachel looks at him.) Of the glare from the streetlight out of his apartment. Yknow so umm, hes closed the drapes there so he can have a nice, pleasant conversation with your little sister. (Pause) Well, Im off to bed! (Goes to bed.)
Rachel: Mrs. Kay! Oh yeah, she was sweet. She taught me Spanish. I actually think I remember some of it, tu madre es loca. (I think thats your mothers crazy.)
Rachel: I dont care about the little dude! I cant! I cannot listen to anymore of this! Yknow, the only person who would want to listen to this is a mental health professional! And then its only because they get paid $100 an hour! Do you know how much money I couldve made listening to you? $2,000! And do you know when I figured that out? While you were talking!
Rachel: Thats your, thats your dads bedroom. (Yelling) Thats your dads bedroom!
[Scene: The beach house, its the same scene from the end of last year, with Ross in front of the two doors of Rachels and Bonnies rooms, trying to decide which door to choose. He finally chooses the one his right and goes in.]
(She turns and looks in the mirror, and its way, way over done. She looks like she has two black eyes.)
Monica: Chandler, relax its not a contest. (To Rachel) Certainly not a close one.
(Ross continues south and his now wrapped around Joeys legs.)
Monica's Boyfriend: Yeah. Yknow, the hazelnut actually not a nut, its a seed.
Joey: Of course hes gonna have his Uncle Joey!
Chandler: Oh thats all right, I have it memorized. Its 1A.
Ross: Oh thats right. Well uh, would you be interested in seeing a Ukrainian film?
Ross: Well, yeah, of-of course Im okay! What? Im just being supportive. Supportive of you and this whole trip, and-and (notices something) what-what is uh, whats this? (He holds up a rather skimpy bathing suit.)
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Monica: (Picking up a card from Chandlers wallet.) My God! Is this a gym card?
[Cut too later, the moving process is progressing steadily. Monica is trying to lift a heavy box, as Rachel comes in from Chandlers bedroom.]
Joey: Thursdays clearly not good for ya, pick a day!
Tim: Oh, Im so glad you called. I feel like its always me calling you. So, whats up? Is everything okay with Phoebe?
Ross: I...reorganized the fridge. See, bottom shelf: meats and dairy. (Theres nothing on the shelf.) Middle shelf: fruits and vegetables. (Theres one lone tomato.) And top shelf: expired products. (The shelf is jammed packed.)
Chandler: See thats where I think that youre wrong. Weve been playing these babies man for man; we should really be playing a zone defense.
Chandler: No-no-no-no-no-no-no!! I cant get myself right out of them! You must have me confused with the Amazing Chandler!! Come on, you have to unlock me, she could be gone for hours, and Im cold, and (Stops and looks up the skirt on a statue behind Joannas desk.)
Phoebe: Ooh-Ooh! I did it! I did it! I figured out a way to make money! Im gonna open up my own massage place and Franks gonna help me! And! We can work it around his schedule so he doesnt have to quit school!
[Scene: Joeys Bedroom, Joey is having a dream about Rachel giving birth with him as the father.]
Phoebe: Are you sure? Ill bet theres another flight to Minsk in like
Ross: Sure! Oh, and Joeys got the mashed potatoes if you want to exchange them.
Monica: Okay listen, yknow when you move in Rachels room is gonna be empty, you wanna talk about what we want to do with it?
Rachel: Pheebs, this whole apartment thing is just a nightmare! Every place I can afford comes with a roommate who is a freak. I mean, look at this; (Points to one and starts to read it.) "Wanted. Female roommate, non-smoker, non-ugly." Its just, there is nothing! The citys full!
Ross: So lets decide on the spending limit
Chandler: Ahh, I think it just moved. Its really poking me.
Dr. Long: (looks at her beeping pager) Oh, Ill be right back. And, uh, I know its really not my place, but please dont name your child Phoebo.
Monica: Okay, if you need the vacuum, its in my closet on the left-hand side. Ah, the garbage bags are next to the refrigerator
Ross: (closes the door) Did you umIm sorry, did you just say its Rachel?
Phoebe: Thats ridiculous Rachel, we were all babies once. (Rachel looks at her.) Oh, you mean today.
[Scene: Rachels birthday, a time lapse has occurred. Rachel is coming back into the living room carrying a notepad.]
(She opens a door and they both scream at horror at whats inside of it.)
Rachel: Yes, I know that. I know that. And I know that hiring him was probably not the smartest thing that Ive ever done. But Im telling you, from this moment on I swear this is strictly professional. (Theres a knock on the door.) Yes?
Phoebe: (clinking two glasses together) Speech! Speech! Lets hear from the birthday girl! Huh?
Phoebe: Well, at least you didnt rent yours from a store called, "Its Not Too Late."
Chandler: (worried) Hes the headliner of a gay burlesque show.
Joey: (pointing to the TV) Okay, Ross, look-look-look-look, look right here. Thats called a scrum, okay? Its kinda like a huddle.
[Sequence 1: Monica throws the ball over Chandlers head to Joey who catches it for a touchdown, and starts to dance in celebration. Chandler then tackles him, and he starts to dance in celebration.]
Amanda: Hello Monica. It’s Amanda calling again. I am in the neighborhood hoping I can pop by your flat!
Rachel: Huh. Except, Phoebes not gonna be the one that gets to dress them.
Rachel: Good! Cause Ive got a product report to read, its like eight pages, I hope I dont fall asleep.
Phoebe: Well, maybe its so big because the house was built on radioactive waste.
Ross: What? Oh yeah. (He moves next to her head.) Im sorry. I mean I-I think I went a little crazy. I mean I was thinking about myself when I (Wanders towards Rachels feet) reallyI should have been thinking about you Rach
Joey: Wow! Thats pretty nice. I thought he cut off his ear cause he sucked. What else you got in there?
Chandler: Im right! Right? There was like no chemistry between them. Before they had heat, and now theres no heat! Now you know what this means, Joey told us what this means!
Monica: Well, I mean what about friends of your grandmothers? Wouldnt they have the recipe?
Rachel: Why hasnt he called Rachel? Why? Why? I dont understand. Why? He said hell call. Why? Why? Chandler Im telling you she has flipped out, shes gone crazy!
Ross: Uh Dad, Emmas in the nursery. Ill take you now. If you want, but (To Rachel) I really want to talk to you.
Chandler: Oh thats right. Its your first day! So are you psyched to fight fake crime with your robot sidekick?
Rachel: Well, maybe thats, maybe thats really brave.
(Kathy enters (Because shes listed in the credits).)
Joey: Yeah, you can get a Volvo. If thats what you really want.
Monica: No! All hes thinking about is how youre taking this! I mean, listen its totally freaking him out. Hes talking about moving to Vermont.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, its the slide instead of stairs. Watch this. (She slides a doll down the slide)
(Shes interrupted by a loud crash and the sound of braking dishes. Followed quickly by another crash. Everyone turns and looks at the back room, as Gunther emerges.)
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.)
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) (To All) Its the deli again!
Rachel: Oh, okay. Is that what you want to do? You wanna go over and give a little shout out to the old, hot chickas? Okay, lets do that Sailor Joe. Quick question though, (grabs some of the rigging) whats this called?
Ross: Hi, um, Im err, (has to clear his throat) Im Ross Geller, and err ah... (pats Carols bulge) ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... (embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow, who becomes incoherent until) ..whos next?
Monica: Well Thats not the only time this was an issue. You remember when umm, you spent Thanksgiving with us? You called me fat.
Rachel: (sees Chips phone number) Wow! Look at that, Chip Matthews called. I wonder what he wants?
Ross: Its a clown kit! Clown kit!
[Scene: Dr. Longs Office, Ross and Rachel are waiting for the doctor. Ross is drumming his fingers on the bed.]
Monica: Thats Will from high school!
(Joey is now looking at Rachel, and since Rachels standing and hes sitting down and hes not looking at her face You get the picture.)
Ben: Whens my daddy coming back?
Monica: Passport, check! (As she puts away each item, she says check.) Camera, check! Travellers cheques, check!
Vince: No-no its okay. Its just that ah, I thought we had something pretty special here. And y'know I-I felt like you were someone I could finally open up to, and (starts choking up) That theres so much in me I have to share with you yet.
Chandler: (entering, with Joey) All right! Lets do it!
[Scene: Petes office, he is participating in a conference call with three other employees, each of whom are on a different TV screen that he controls with a remote.]
Ross: Hi! Im so glad youre here, but its gonna be a while. I-I wished youd called first.
[Scene: Ross and Chandlers bank, they are there to close their accounts.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachels baby shower is underway. Monica and Phoebe are working in the kitchen.]
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, three years earlier, Phoebe, Monica, and Ross are there]
Monica: Hes with Emily at a Bed and Breakfast in Vermont!
Joey: No, an entertainment unit, with a mail cubby built right in. Its a one day job, max.
Joey: Hey-hey come on you guys, give him a break. Ross, seriously, hows it going with her?
(They all try and shake hands at once. They end up criss-crossing theyre arms to shake each others hand, and Ross says )
Phoebe: Yeah, no, Ralph doesnt look anything like that guy. Hes-hes young and hes got long hair and a beard and a hacky sack.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are on the couch as Phoebe enters with Monicas soul mate.]
Joey: See? Thats a great smile! Easy. Natural. Now, pretend I have a camera. (Chandler immediately does The Face.) Youre changing it!
Phoebe: Ursula! (Ursula turns, smiles, and continues walking.) Wait! Err-err, its me! Phoebe!
[Scene, Monica and Chandlers, Chandler is there. Everything is out of its place and Chandler's cleaning.]
Joey: Pheebs! Wait up! (She stops.) Listen uh, close your eyes. (She does so and Joey passionately kisses her.) Maybe thats one thing you can cross off your list.
Monica: Okay, forget the specials for a minute. Umm, all right heres the thing, for the last two weeks I have umm, (quietly) tried really hard to create a positive atmosphere
Chandler: Well, its because I trust you, youre one of my best friends, and you walked in on me when I was looking at ring brochures.
Rachel: No! Put that box down! We are not going anywhere! This is my apartment and I like it! This is a girls apartment! That is a boys apartment, its dirty and it smells. This is pretty. Its-its so pretty! And look, and its-its purple! And Im telling you, you with the steady hand, I am not moving, and now I have got the steady hand. (She holds out her hand, which is shaking uncontrollably.)
Joey: No! Never! Never! (Pause, then Joey wants to shake Rosss hand.) Bye.
Rachel: Wh-whats that?
Russell: (Rosss divorce lawyer.) Hello, is Ross there?
Monica: (looking out the peephole) Ohh, shes looking down the hall. Oh! She looked right at me! Oh wait, you cant see people through that little hole, can you? (Goes back to the door.) Hello!
[Scene: The Hallway between the Apartments, Ross is hiding behind that bump out on Monicas side waiting for Phoebe and Rachel. As they come up the stairs, he jumps out and yells ]
(Rachel gets up and ushers them into the hall, as they pass Joshua, he leaps onto the counter to avoid them. Rachel drops them off in the hall, and knocks on Joeys door.)
Joey: Damnit woman were losing precious time! Now do you want this mans blood on your head?
Joey: They go on one date and youre worried about them getting married?! Hes not you!
Monica: Wait. Rachel, no, hes married. Married! If you dont realize that, I cant help you.
Joey: Thats okay Ross maybe you need a new picture. Okay? Its not gonna be what you thought, but no matter what theres gonna be a brand new little baby, your baby. Who cares what the picture looks like?
Ross: And what(notices the stenographer is still typing)What are you typing that for? Did you hear what she said? We dont get the annulment. Dont type that! What?! Stop typing! (He goes over to where the stenographer is typing and in the process pushes Rachel out of his way.) Hey! Stop typing! (Hes still typing.) Stop typing! Stop typing!!