words in movies
Chandler: Well, thats pretty much all Im looking for from these people.
Ross: Yeah Pheebs, come on, you two have completely different styles. Y'know, shes more..(shakes his shoulders, like hes dancing) y'know, and youre more (sees the look from Phoebe and stops)
Phoebe: Okay, see, see, everyone else is happy shes done.
Singer: Okay, my next songs called: Phoebe Buffay, What Can I Say. I Really Loved When We Were Singing Partners, And I Shouldnt Have Left You That Way.
Chandler: (to Ross) All right listen, I have to go to the bathroom, but if the place with the big fish comes up again. Id like know whether thats several big fish or just one big fish.
Chandler: Jeez, man did you fall..(sees its a beautiful woman coming out of the mens room) Hi! So ah, did ya, did-did-did ya fall high?
[Scene: Central Perk, the gangs putting their coats on to leave.]
Phoebe: Wheres Chandler?
(She walks over behind the coat rack, but Joey picks it up and moves it so that hes still behind it, and she cant see him.)
[Scene: Rachels office, Mark is packing his stuff into a box.]
Mark: Actually, its kinda my fault. I-I quit today.
Ross: (to Rachel) But work comes first! (to Mark) Oh hey, but thats sad about you though, what happened? Burn out? Burn all out, did ya?
Rachel: Nooo, hes leaving for a better job.
Ross: Oh well thats great, so I guess this is ah, this is good bye then. Huh? (picks a pad up off Rachels desk and tosses it into his box) Good bye.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Monica are playing with a Ouija board, Phoebes beeper goes off and Monica screams.]
Phoebe: Yeah, that was Leslie calling again to see if we can get back together. Thats the twentieth time today! And good luck Leslie!
Joey: Aww, man. Thats the girl I was hiding from. When she finds out hes my roommate, shes gonna tell him what I did.
Joey: What, oh, oh, oh, no, no, I cant, I cant tell you that, its like the most awful, horrible thing Ive ever done my whole life.
Joey: All right!! Okay, it was like four years ago. Okay, Ginger and I had gone out a few times, and then this one weekend, we went up to her Dads cabin. Just me, her, and her annoying little dog Pepper. Well that night, I cooked this really romantic dinner....
Chandler: Well, thats the best kiss Ive had with anyone Ive ever met in a mens room.
[Scene: Rosss bedroom, Rachel getting into bed while Ross is reading and laughs.]
Ross: Oh, no, no, no, its-its not the lecture ah, I mind, umm....
Rachel: Oh, please tell me its not because Im going with Mark.
Rachel: Because, hes my friend.
Phoebe: Its just y'know, been a couple of hours, and she hasnt called. Not that I even care, y'know.
Phoebe: Thats what I said.
Leslie: (singing) My best shoes, so good to me. I wear them everyday. Down at the heel, holes in the toes. Dont care what people say. My feets best friends, pals to the end. With them Im one hot chicky. Though late one night, not much light, I....
Phoebe: (singing) Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat, its not your fault.
Leslie: Wow, thats great.
Phoebe: Thats okay. All right, Im gonna play song thats really, really sad. Its called Magician Box Mix Up. (she turns her guitar upside down to play it.)
[Scene: The lecture, Ross is passed out against Rachels shoulder.]
Monica: Oh, can I borrow this? (points to his milk) My milks gone bad.
Chandler: Great. It was great. Shes ah, shes great, great looking, great personality, shes greatness.
Monica: Sounds like shes got the ah, whole package.
Chandler: Oh God, it freaked me out. Okay, I know it shouldnt have, but it did. I mean I like her, I dont want to stop seeing her, but every so often its like Hey, y'know what, wheres your leg? I mean Im the smallest person in the world arent I? Im the smallest person in the world.
Chandler: (to Monica) Actually hes the smallest person in the world.
Joey: Listen, I ah, I know its a longshot. But, by any chance did she find that funny?
Rachel: Nodded off!! Ross you were snoring. My fathers boat didnt make that much noise when it hit rocks!
Rachel: Well okay, how about four hours in a freezing museum auditorium listening to Professor Pitstains and hes Hey everybody! Remember that thing thats been dead for a gazillion years. Well theres this little bone we didnt know it had!
Ross: First of all its Professor Pittain! And second of all, that little bone, proved that, that particular dinosaur had wings, but didnt fly.
Ross: No-no-no, a bunch of out of control jackets take over an island. (Makes an unusual sound, then he realises that he still has his jacket on and quickly tries to shake it off, thinking its alive and attacking him.)
Ross: No. I... I wanted to be with you. I dont know, I feel like lately, I feel like youre slipping away from me, y'know. With this new job, and all these new people, and youve got this whole other life going on. I-I-I know its dumb, but I hate that Im not a part of it.
Rachel: Its not dumb. But, maybe its okay that youre not a part of it. Y'know what I mean? (Ross looks confused) I mean its like, I-I-I like that youre not involved in that part of my life.
Ross: Thats a little clearer.
Rachel: Honey see, it doesnt mean that I dont love you. Because I do. I love you, I love you so much. But my work its-its for me y'know, Im out there, on my own, and Im doing it and its scary but I love it, because its mine. I, but, I mean is that okay?
Ginger: Its okay if it bothers you. Really. I mean the only thing I need to know is: How much it bothers you? because I dont like wasting my time. Am I wasting my time?
Ginger: Okay. Its just like anything else, you just have to get used to it.
Ginger: Whats that?
Chandler: Thats-thats my nubbin.
Ginger: Whats a nubbin?
Chandler: Its kinda a ah, a third nipple kinda thing.
Ginger: Ah well, its nubbin. Nothing! Umm. Y'know what, Ill see you later. Okay. (She leaves and in the hall we see her shake her shoulders like when someone runs their fingernails across a blackboard.)
Phoebe: Okay y'know what you have to choose. All right, if-if the most important thing on the planet to you is this cat poopy thing then, okay you can have Smelly Cat, but we wont be partners. So whats it gonna be?
Phoebe: Yeah. I actually am, yeah. Y'know life-lifes gonna had you all kinds of stuff, y'know you learn your little lessons and hopefully you grow. Wanna hear a new song?
Phoebe: Okay. (singing) Jingle bitch screwed me over! Go to hell jingle whore! Go to hell Go to hell. Go to hell-hell-hell. Thats all I have so far.
Monica: Wow! Its like Rachel in High School.
Mona: Yeah, you still have feelings for me. And-and to be honest, I-I still have feelings for you. And I wish that we can work it out Ross, but we cant. Its too complicated with you and Rachel and the baby, I-I just It just wasnt meant to be.
Phoebe: Shes made it pretty clear, it is not going to happen.
Joey: So uh, you and Mona, been a while now. Hows it going?
Monica: So wait, Rosss stuff is fine, but I have no memories because you wanted to keep the bottom two inches of your car away from water!!!
Joey: Wait! Wait! Maybe shes a hooker and a stripper, but she got confused about what shes supposed to do.
Chandler: Lets just say if I cant find the right CD case I just put it in the nearest one.
Phoebe: No, I made myself take an oath. Yeah, no fooling around with clients and umm, always be prepared. Yeah, that ones actually from the Boy Scouts, but it just makes good sense.
Phoebe: No Chandler, they can swallow one of those little parts! And also, look at his smooth area, thats just gonna mess them up.
[Scene: The beach house, Chandler is simulating hes coming to pick up Monica for a date. Chandler knocks on the door, and Monica answers it.]
[Scene: Rosss Apartment, Ross and Monica are there.]
Rachel: Ross IWe tried all the spicy food. Its not working.
Bob: Its Bob actually. Hey, you work up here, can you tell me where this Chandler Bings office is?
The Director: Oh thats great! Okay, well Ive heard everything I need to hear. I just need to uh, Leslie
Ursula: Yeah! Yeah, its gonna be a small ceremony. Just family. (Phoebe looks at her.) His.
Monica: Yknow dad, Chandler is one of Rosss very best friends!
[Scene: Joey and wait just Joeys. Joey is sitting at the counter eating a pizza.]
Ross: Oh myCome here! Come here! (He hugs her.) Its okay. Everythings gonna be okay.
Phoebe: Youre Elizabeths father, huh? I can see now where she gets her rugged handsomeness.
Ross: Now, hold on! Hold on! (Stops him) Look, look, your daughter and I are supposed to leave tonight for our honeymoon, now-now you-you tell her that Im gonna be at that airport and I hope that shell be there too! Oh yeah, I said Rachels name, but it didnt mean anything, Okay? Shes-shes just a friend and thats all! (Rachel sits down, depressed.) Thats all! Now just tell Emily that I love her and that I cant imagine spending my life with anyone else. Please, promise me that youll tell her that.
Charity guy: Wow! Are you here to make another donation the same day? I don’t think that that’s ever happened before.
Ross: Its like that everywhere, Joey! Okay, Mon, back me up here. Where you work the uh, waiters eat with the waiters, right? And the chefs eat with the other chefs, right?
Monica: No that was Jarred! Wow! I havent thought about him in a long time (Stares off into the distance lost in thought.) (Pause) Anyway, umm Wills, Wills here on business and he didnt have a place to go so I invited him here.
(Oh, I should point out that the live studio audience at this point goes absolutely wild. And I had absolutely no idea that this Will character was that popular! Maybe they should make him the seventh friend. Which would work out just fine since hes already married to one of them. Will is played by some guy named Brad Pitt, I guess hes some sort of actor.)
Rachel: Oh, umm, I was just yknow working out and umm Oh, thats it.
Phoebe: Well hey, its just a backup.
Minister: May I have the rings? (He is given the rings) Emily, place this ring on Rosss finger as a symbol of your bond everlasting. (She jams the ring onto his finger) Ross, place this ring in Emilys hand as a symbol of the love that encircles you forever.
[Scene: Chandlers Office, his boss Doug is entering, Monica is there as well.]
Gunther: Yeah, thats what I drive. I make four bucks an hour, I saved up for 350 years!
Mr. Geller: Well, shell understand right? Its not like I did it on purpose.
Rachel: I love how he cares so much about stuff. If I squint I can pretend hes Alan Alda.
Emily: (checks the clock) Ohh, its time to go.
Rachel: Well, yknow its just been so long since Ive been to Chuckie Cheese.
Phoebe: Thats sweat. You throw up all morning, youll have that glow too.
Joey: Oh, thats, uh, thats Phoebes friends dog. I dont know what his real name is, but I call him Mozzarella.
Ross: I promise you she’s safe! No watch how much she loves this.
Chandler: Its not just their marriage! I mean, look at yours. Look at everybodys! The only person that can make marriage work is Paul Newman! And Ive met me; I am not Paul Newman. I dont race cars! I dont make popcorn! None of my proceeds go to charity.
Phoebe: Oh thats right. Youre still set on that?
Ross: Thats right Lydia, Elizabeth here is a student and uh, were dating. And you may frown upon that, but were not gonna hide it anymore.
Joey: Yknow what I think? I think somebodys got a little crush on Casey. How bout I fix you two up? What do you think?
Chandler: Its Phoebe! Hi!
Joanna: Oh, and hes got such a good heart! Doesnt he have a good heart?
Ross: Yeah, but Im your brother. Were family. Thats the most important thing in the world.
Phoebe: Oh thats good, I guess shell have a choice between my guy and your weirdo.
Monica: Ross, thats my jacket.
Ross: Susan is Carols, Carols, Carols, friend...
Chandler: A hot girls at stake and all of the sudden hes Rain Man.
Joey: All right, car magazines, cereal boxes, but its like enough!
(They start to fight with Ross pulling on Chandlers ears and Chandler hitting Ross over the head with his carrot.)
Joey: I know, but I dont think thats what she wants.
[Scene: Rachels Bedroom, Ross is finishing up her make-up.]
Ross: Hi. Sorry Im late. Wheres, wheres Carol?
Joey: (reading) Three down, Days Of Our Lives star blank Tribbiani. Thats me!! Im blank!!
Phoebe: Well, its just yknow that something like this would never to like The Hulk, yknow
Ross: Whos this little guy? (Gasps when he sees Aaron.)
[Scene: Casting Director #1s office, Joey is on his first audition. His partner is an 8-year-old boy.]
Jamie: Hi, its us.
Joey: To her parents I think and she said you shouldnt call her. But if I were you I would.
Joey: Hey well, you cant teach someone to be good with women. Yknow, thats why I never had any luck with Chandler.
Joey: Oh! Hey right! Not a problem. (He starts taking off his clothes.) I totally understand. You need to yknow make sure I dont have any horrible scars or tattoos. Dont you worry; I have nothing to hide. (He drops his pants and stands back up and looks down.) So there you go, thats me. (We cut to a camera angle looking at the casting director and movie director through Joeys legs.) One hundred percent natural! (Suddenly, theres a thud as something falls off.) (Everyone is shocked.) I tell ya, that has never happened before.
Joey: I want this part so much! Yknow? If I dont get this part Im never gonna eat Macaroni and Cheese again!No, I didnt say that! Thats a lie.
Ross: No real-, honey, really its fine, just g-go with Susan. Really, I, no, I think girls night out is a great idea. Okay, okay, bye
Monica: Well, well Ross didnt care enough to be here, so I think hes out. You snooze you lose.
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel is coming in for the day.]
Fran: Whats she doing here?
Monica: (steps up and points at her) All right! You and me! Lets go! Right now!
Chandler: Yknow what the worse part was? I got to see what my life would be like without you. It was like Its a Wonderful Life with lap dances. Please promise that you will never leave me, that we will grow old together, and be with each other for the rest of our lives.
Ross: Well we-we dont know for sure. But in my head it-it sounded something like this. (He makes a high pitched noise and Alan doesnt know what to make of it.) Of course, this is just conjecture. Okay, thats uh, thats all for today. (Everyone starts to get up.) Uh Mr. Morse, can I see you for a moment?
Joey: I mean seriously, shes like the perfect woman. I mean I know she turned me down, but if she hadnt and wanted to be with me, I would take her in my arms and (Realizes everyone is staring.) I havent bummed you guys out like this in a while have I?
Phoebe: She is lying! And I bet I can prove it. Excuse me. (She grabs Ursulas purse and starts going through it and finds some papers.) Okay. Okay. YeahNot a prayer chain, but what looks like a detailed drawing of a bank floor plan. (Holds up her nametag.) Okay, heres the nametag from the restaurant where she works as a waitress! Not a teacher, a waitress. All right, heres her driver license, this oughta be good, she always lies about this. How old did she say she was?
Rachel: Oh. Thats so Monica can keep track. That way if one on them is missing, she can be like, Wheres number 27?!
Doug: Well, I got tanked myself last night. Pretty dicey drive home, Tapanzi Bridge never looked smaller. (laughs) Thats okay, youre still my number one guy! (slaps him on the butt) Bing!
Dr. Long: Rachel youre gonna have to push even harder, nothings happening!
(Ross steps onto the bottom rung of the ladder and then steps on Joeys chest.)
Chandler: Its me. Im the other guy.
Phoebe and Rachel: Allisons birthday party.
Chandler: Oh yeah, that sounds great. (starts to leave) Oh, and listen, its, its gonna be....
Joey: But the auditions in a couple hours and I dont even understand the game.
Chandler: Well, we used theres up last night making scary faces.
Phoebe: Shes just so cute! I just wanna bite her ear off and use it and a sucking candy.
Rachel: Oh Joey! Joey! No, its not you! You didnt get anybody pregnant!
Ross: Thats true, thanks dad. (To All) People should be dancing! Huh? Hey, this is a party! Come on! Joey, dance!! (He starts to dance but stops when no one else joins him.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe is speaking Italian to Joeys grandmother. Im spelling phonetically.]
Guy: Hi! Its Tom, Im here to pick up the phone.
Ross: (To Monica) Lets grab our stuff and get the hell out of here.
Chandler: Nobody is opening anything ok? Look, I dont know about you guys, but I wanna see the look on Monicas face when I give her my present, and Im sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine. So please, please, can we just, can we put them back?
Phoebe: Yeah, say my name. Say it! (She stops when she realizes what shes doing.) And now Im going to cover you back up, and umm were never doing this again.
Monica: Oh my God! Thats my restaurant, Im the chef there.
(He starts the car and surprisingly in fires right up and comes to a nice idle. (Both can be rarities with British sports cars with their lovely Lucas ignition systems, which tend not to work especially in the rain.) Anyway, this being New York he is parallel parked on a street with the car in front of him only inches ahead of his bumper, likewise with the car behind him. Hes completely boxed in and cant move more than two inches. He tries to get out several times by bumping the bumpers of both cars to no avail.)
Monica: Joey, what are you doing?! Its never gonna happen, shes seeing somebody.
Joey: Look, its not that easy. She said she wanted to marry me. I dont want to hurt her.
Chandler: Thats not true! I wanted to wear my bathrobe and eat peanut clusters all day. I wanted to start drinking in the morning. Dont say that I dont have goals!
Joey: You got it! And the rabbis beard, 100% horsehair. Nice catch C.H.E.E.S.E.! (Pauses as he waits for C.H.E.E.S.E.s next line.) Its your line C.H.E.E.S.E.! (Suddenly C.H.E.E.S.E. goes crazy and starts flinging its arms and advancing on Joey behind the desk.) Wayne! Wayne!!
[Scene: Monicas bedroom, Phoebe is trying to hide the bed from Monica.]
Ross: Can we please focus here, a naked mans life hangs in the balance!
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, shes in her closet bringing down her pair of roller blades from a top shelf.]
Ross: Well, actually its been great. Shes 20 so shes not looking for anything too serious, which is perfect for me right now.
Monica: Oh honey, were close now but you-you wouldnt believe the years of-of nugies, and wedgies, and flying wedgies, and atomic wedgies, and....(Phoebe shakes her head like she doesnt understand) Thats where the waistband actually goes over your head.
Monica: Oh my God, Richard. (Yep, Richards back.)
Phoebe: One really does have a stick up one�s ass. Doesn�t one?
Joey: Thats right! By his uncle too!