words in movies
Rachel: Hi! Hey, Happy Valentines Day!
Joey: Hey, so, uh, hows it going living over at Ross?
Rachel: Its good. Except he makes us watch the Discovery Channel all day long. Did you know that something really boring happened to someone really ugly in the Middle Ages? (to the waitress handing her a cup of coffee) Oh, thank you. Ill see you guys later.
Joey: Theres one lucky to-go cup of coffee.
Joey: You know what I want? I want a lot of things! I want to be with the woman I love on Valentines Day! And I want her to love me back! And I want just one moment of relief from the gut-wrenching pain of knowing that thats never going to happen!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Phoebe and Ross are sitting in the living room talking.]
Ross: Oh, Im actually on my way to tell her right now. Yeah, shes been away all week visiting her parents, but shell be cool. I mean, shes been so supportive. She-she even got the baby a tiny T-shirt that says, Fossils are my friends.
Phoebe: Its a video of my friend giving birth. Could you just bring it back to your apartment?
Phoebe: Yeah. Candys the mother, Cookies the daughter. The fathers also Cookie. Why am I friends with these people?
Ross: Hey, whats behind your back?
Monica: Nothing. Just something I want to get Phoebes opinion on for Valentines Day.
[Scene: Joey and wait just Joeys. Joey is sitting at the counter eating a pizza.]
Joey: Thanks so much, Pheebs! (to the dog) We are going to have so much fun, yes we are! (the dog sticks his head between Joeys legs) Oh! Not that kind of fun.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Chandler enters with a bouquet of roses.]
Chandler: Happy Valentines!
(The woman groans, moans, grunts, and screams. Chandlers eyes get huge!)
Chandler: Woah, woah, thats not pretty!
[Scene: Joeys. Joey is playing fetch with the dog.]
Joey: Oh, thats, uh, thats Phoebes friends dog. I dont know what his real name is, but I call him Mozzarella.
Rachel: (talking with a higher voice, and puckered lips kind of like you do to a baby or...well a puppy its hard to explain. Just use your imagination!) Oh, well, you are so cute! I wish I could play with you more, but Ive got to go to work! I hope I stop talking like this before my marketing meeting, yes I do. Yes I do. (still talking like that) Bye-bye, Joey. Oh, I seriously cant stop it. (exits)
Joey: (to the dog) Cmere. Hey. Cmere. Thats Rachel. Shes the one who used to live here. Might as well be honest with youwe love her. But we cant have her. I really miss her. Well, hey, you understand, right? Youre a guy. (thinks about it and picks up the dog and looks) Well, you used to be.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Chandler is sitting on the couch staring at the tape on the coffee table with his eyes huge and his mouth wide open.]
Chandler: Its yelling bleeding dilating. Oh, the dilating
Monica: Is this the video of the baby being born? Sweetie, this is Phoebes. Why were you even watching it?
Chandler: I thought maybe you got me porn for Valentines Day.
Monica: Chandler, if you thought I was going to get you porn for Valentines Day (pulls a video out of a basket) you were right! Apparently, its about a young girl who moves to the big city, you know, in search of stardom, but ends up having sex with a lot of guys! Yeah, it got four starts! (looks closer) Oh, wait a minute. Those arent stars. Anyway, you want to take a look?
Monica: Honey, whats going on?
Monica: Chandler, we cant let this tape wreck Valentines Day!
Monica: Child-birth, its a natural thing! Its beautiful.
Chandler: Oh, beautiful? Really? Beautiful? You think this is beautiful? (picks up the remote and presses a button, and he immediately makes a face that just looks like hes going to throw up!)
Chandler: See, honey, theres(puts his hand on her leg)
Ross: Wha? Oh, come on. You didnt have tosaltwater taffy?! (Mona laughs) Thanks! This is interesting. You know, most people think this is made with sea water, but its actually made with, uh, salted fresh water. Thats not interesting.
Mona: I think its interesting.
Mona: Joey cracks me up! Its like, Yeah, why dont you have your ex-wife move in with you? That wouldnt be awkward at all! (she laughs again)
(Ross fake laughs, obviously not finding this funny, and hes starting to panic, so he shoves the whole saltwater taffy hes eating in his mouth)
Ross: Oh, no, no, no, I will! I just want to butter her up, first! You know, Im going to take her to an amazing Valentines dinner. Do all this romantic stuff, and then, just when she thinks Im the best boyfriend in the world, then Im going to tell her that my pregnant ex-girlfriend is living with me.
Phoebe: If I havent said it before: shes a lucky, lucky lady! So, where are you going towhat the mother of crap is up with this stuff? (Referring to the taffy, which shes been chewing this whole time.) Oh, God. Is it gum, is it food? Whats the deal? (she swallows it, finally) Oh, its nice! May I try a pink one?
[Scene: Joeys. Joey is laying on his recliner, depressed, and the dog is laying on the footrest.]
Phoebe: Hey, buddy. Hows my favorite dog, huh? Hows my favorite dog? (the dog doesnt move) Youre subdued. (to Joey) Did you give him a beer?
Phoebe: Hes miserable! What happened to him?
Joey: Hes breathing!
Phoebe: Okay, Im going to take him back to Wendys.
Joey: No, no, no, no! Hes fine! Look, look, look! (picks up the ball) Heres your ball! Get your ball! Get your ball! (he throws the ball and it bounces right next to the dog) Get your ball! My God, what have I done to you, huh? I broke the dog! Pheebs, I broke the dog!
[Scene: Ross and Rachels I guess I have to call it that now. Rachel is reading on the couch as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Oh, Ive got big Valentines plans! Ive got my Chinese food on the way, and the rest of your saltwater taffy!
Ross: Yknow, its interesting! Most people think thats made with seawater, when in fact
Mona: Change of plans, I made you a special Valentines dinner! Surprise!
Mona: Hi! Hi. Hi, Rachel! (to Ross) Whats she doing here?
Ross: I think shes lonely.
Mona: Okay, but its Valentines Day!
Ross: No, no. Shes way to emotional. And by emotional I mean crazy.
Rachel: Im not here! Thats just my Chinese food!
Ross: Mm-hmm. Shesshes emotional, but, but ballsy.
Ross: (handing Mona the present) Happy Valentines Day! Or something to remember me by.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch still staring at the screen.]
Monica: Thats better. 90 seconds is a long time not to think about it except all I did was think about it.
Rachel: (entering) Hi! Im so sorry to barge in on your Valentines, but I had to get away from all the yelling. Mona is dumping Ross.
Monica: Rach, you know that birthing tape you wanted to see? Its here.
Chandler: Well, lets just say its ironic how footage of someone being born can make you want to kill yourself.
Monica: Shes right of course not. Honey, get the tape.
Monica: Its still beautiful.
Rachel: Uh! Its horrible!
Chandler: No, the babys out! Look, look!
Joey: Hey, whats up?
Ross: Well, with everything thats been going on lately, I havent exactly been the perfect boyfriend. You know, I, uh, I didnt tell her I got Rachel pregnant. I gave her a key to my apartment, and then had the locks changed! And then I lied to her about Rachel moving in with me. In a way, I actually judge her for not breaking up with me sooner, you know?
Joey: Still, that really sucks, man. Especially on Valentines Day.
Ross: Yeah. Wait a minute. What are you doing here? Joey Tribbiani without a date on Valentines Day? Whats going on, huh? Girl trouble?
Joey: Forget about it. Its no big deal.
Joey: Its nothing.
Ross: Hey, hey, its me. Why cant you tell me?
Joey: Okay, uh sit down. (they do) Um theres this woman that I like. A lot. But, uh it cant happen.
Ross: Shes not a Tribbiani?
Joey: Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. Someone from work, too. And I could never do that to the guy, because were really good friends.
Joey: Yeah, hes the best.
Ross: Joey, its worth finding out. I mean, if you really like her.
Gunther: (placing a cup in front of Ross) Heres your warm milk.
Joey: Its Rachel.
(Ross just stands in the doorway, for like a minute Ahh! Whats going to happen next??!!! I cant make it all the way through the Olympics!!!)
[Scene: Ross and Rachels. Rachel is standing in front of the TV holding a video.]
Rachel: Ummm, I think its time to see the ring again. (holds her hand out and they all scream)
Ross: Oh, yeah, that’s the same, I am sure there are thirty different species of poisonous swings!
Monica: Nooo! No, thats not true. No, best time ever! Yeah, you rocked me world! (She turns out the light to go back to sleep.)
Monica: Come on Rach, come on. Lets see whats it like to be on a winning team for a change.
Ross: Eh, either way Ill pass. (Quietly to Chandler) I still cant eat those. (Monica is getting something out of the fridge and starts laughing.) Whats so funny?!
Ross: I justI-I cant believe shes-shes dating?!
Rachel: Oh my God! The millionaires here!
Rachel: (taking the brush back) Okay. Lets use this brush. (Hands him another one.)
Ross: Uh actually Joey, its the Cretasous period.
[cut to Phoebe Sr.s house, from the last episode]
(Chandler walks into the living room, and sees all of Joeys sisters, all wearing red.)
Joey: Oh, its great! Its a great place to just kinda, sit, hang around, drink a few beers, eat some chips. (He says that as he sits, hangs around, drinks a beer, and eats a chip.)
[Scene: The Doctors office, Dr. Zane is examining Phoebe as Frank and Alice watch.]
Joeys Sister: (whispering in his ear) Just do it.
Joey: Yeah, come on, think about it. Youre 18, okay, shes 44, when youre 36, shes gonna be 88.
Rachel: Tommys supposed to be here soon, were going to lunch.
Ross: Yeah, its hard okay, I only have two spots left.
Chandler: Hey, come on, its not your fault.
Chandler: Joey! Joe! (Sees that hes not here and starts investigating. He picks up the bag of chips.) Full bag. (He picks up the beer.) Beers still cold. Something terrible mustve happened here! (He decides its not that important; sits down on Rosita, and the back falls off causing him to flip over.) Oh no-no-no-no-no-no! (Runs over to Stevie.) Stevie, I was never here! (Runs out.)
Rachel: Yeah, Im pretty confident about that. Thats what makes it so easy for me to be 80% happy for Monica and Chandler! It would be nice to have a little guarantee though.
Joey: Hey! Whats up?
Ross: You know, I think that�s a good idea�our babysitter just pounded in another Chardonnet. (both get up) Bye, y�guys.
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Phoebe: Yes, and Im sorry. I-I know things worked out for Chandler and Monica, but thats very rare.
Phoebe: Lets try something else, lets play a game.
Rachel: Thats right! You do what the hand says!
Ross: Oh, yeah, that would be me, um, I have, I have a problem I-I tip way too much, way, way, too much, its a sickness really.
Ross: Hey Chandler, theres a party tomorrow, youll feel better then.
(Chandler grunts and turns around, sees that hes in sight of the room, and mouths damn!)
Paul: (jumping up) Elizabeth! Oh look, Elizabeths here! Who are you talking to?
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, David has a cab waiting to take him to the airport and hes saying goodbye to Phoebe.]
Monica: Thats-thats not Phase Three.
Rachel: (motioning to a rack) So now, these are all the tuxedos that we make and if theres anything that you like, we can make you a deal. Anything at all. (Grabs a few) But these are the three that Monica pre-approved.
Ross: But-but, Liams on my team.
Conan: And then it just builds on itself and theres no doing the scene after. I mean you probably wait and really get it together and do it.
Monica: Honey, we were at this beautiful place, and I-I-I just put our names down for fun! I mean, whats the harm in that?
Phoebe: All right, all right, well just do our best. Okay? So lets say Im the interviewer and Im meeting you for the first time. Okay. "Hi! Come on in, Im uh, Regina Philange."
Joey: Okay, and ah, this one here is a Douglas Fir, now its a little more money, but you get a nicer smell.
Ross: Good! Me neither! So its not a problem. Were just two friends who happen to be roommates.
Phoebe: Ohh, thats too bad!
Cassie: Ill always remember that summer, because its when I got all of these freckles. (She pulls her blouse open to show him her shoulder and bra strap.)
Ross: I know. Thats why I did it. (With a big smile) Come on, are they really that bad?
Ross: Its just, my part seemed to be over pretty quickly and then, and then there was a lot of waiting around.
Joeys Sister: So! Me neither! God, Mary-Angela was right you do have the softest lips.
Joey: Yeah, its okay. I know what a mainsail is. (Points to it. Its the larger sail.) I know, I know to duck when the boom comes across. I-I know port is right.
Rachel: Yeah, I-I heard. (Pause, everyone looks at each other, waiting for Rachels reaction.) I think its great! (Hugs Ross.) Ohh, Im so happy for you!
Phoebe: Yeah. And, first heres a gift.
Joshua: Oh great! (He tries on the coat.) Wow! Yeah, its comfortable.
Ross: What, now youre not even taking to me? (moves over to the coffee table) Look Rachel, I-Im sorry, okay, Im sorry, I was out of my mind. I thought Id lost you, I didnt know what to do. Come on! Come on, how insane must I have been to do something like this? Huh? I-I dont cheat right, I, thats not me, Im not Joey!
Rachel: Well, it was all Rosss idea.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, Ive done it for years. I actually stopped because I was so accurate. Yknow, and-and yknow, one of the great joys of life is its-its wondrous unpredictability. Yknow? And also tea tends to give me the trots.
[Scene: Allesandros, Joey is coming back in with his coat on.]
Robin: Y'know its that feeling you get, y'know?
The Woman: Hi! Im sorry, I know its after hours but I really need candy.
Ross: Yeah, well my-my ex-wife and I share custody of Ben and umm, uh, and just so you know, Carol and I are on excellent terms as Im sure you are with your wife! (Realizes) Oh, Im sorry! (To Elizabeth) Its unbelievable!
Ross: Why not? Its built into the price of the room.
Rachel: Hes not 11!
Tommy: Whats in the cup, Ross?
Rachel: Okay, its justand this is really embarrassingbut lately with this whole pregnancy thing Im just finding myself how do I put this umm, erotically charged.
Joey: Well, hes too shy, he doesnt thing hes good enough to dance with girls yet.
Phoebe: Oh, its Ross on one of his drives!
Rachel: No-no-no! No-no-no! Please Ross, I cant! I cant do it! (Starts to freak out.) Its just gonna freak me out!!!
Joey: Hey Monica its Joey. Listen uh, Phoebe and I smell gas comin from your apartment.
Phoebe: Oh my God, hes lost it. Hes totally lost it.
[Cut to Monica and Rachels apartment, all are there.]
[Cut to Chandlers bedroom.]
Chandler: You kidding? Youre the most beautiful woman in most rooms (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whats going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Joey: Hey! Youre here! Great! Great! Great! Lets get going buddy, weve got a scene to shoot!
[Scene: Allesandros, Monica is cooking.]
Joey: Yeah, it is. Its really tough. Yknow sometimes I thinkWow!! Nice move!
Rachel: Well, Joshuas coming in tomorrow and since I dont have the guts to ask him out, Im going to sell him a coat and put this note in the pocket.
[Scene: Joeys work, selling Christmas trees.]
Rachel: Okay, well that�s now the third sign that I should not leave Emma.
Phoebe: No-no-no, but I am mad! I am mad! Because this stuff is everything that is wrong with the world! And its all sitting up in my living room and all I can think about is how I dont have that lamp!
Monica: Its kind of an important one!
Chandler: Maybe thats because soy-burgers suck!
The Doctor: Thats it.
[Cut back to Rachels party, everyone is now eating breakfast, except Rachel.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Joey is entering]
Rachel: I cant believe Mark didnt call. Its Sunday night, and he didnt call.
Ross: Thats no problem.
Joey: Now thats a thinker.
Phoebe: (pushing Monica back onto the couch) Its so inspired! Look at him! Look at him go!
Fireman #2: No, there was an appliance left on in the bathroom. Its looks like a curling iron.
Tag: Its lame, I know. But Im a goal-oriented person, very eager to learn
Chandler: Well, Kathys last boyfriend was Joey.
Joey: Thats kinda nice.
Monica: Its a globe and, a pencil sharpener.
Emily: Thats Carol with your son!
Hoshi: Its just hard when I know I have e-mail I cant get!
Rachel: Well Thats yknowThatsWeve been alone for the last twenty minutes were doing okay. Besides yknow what? I-IMaybe we wont be alone, cause lately I-Ithings have been happening between me and Ross, yknow? Right before I went into labor, we-we had this kiss. Yknow? So it might be the the beginning of something.
Monica: All right, come on guys, lets go! Tie score, and were runnin out of time. Forty-two!! Thirty-eight!! Hike! (the timer sounds as Monica throws the ball to Phoebe.)
Joey: (To Chandler) Okay, this is it. Its my big fight scene coming up. (He looks over and Chandler and notices that hes asleep.)
Phoebe: Yeah, that was Leslie calling again to see if we can get back together. Thats the twentieth time today! And good luck Leslie!
Ross: 11, unbelievable 11 is correct. (The guys celebrate.) All right, thats 4 for the guys. Ladies, youre up.
Chandler: Well this is great. Yknow, those cameras were the only thing that was gonna cheer Monica up today, shes really depressed.
Phoebe: Well, umm, my Moms friend, Phoebe, is actually my birth Mom.
Rachel: Oh uh-uh pal! Dont call me mommy! Its bad enough you call your own mother that. (He looks at Monica.)
Phoebe: He is! But hes getting divorcedRoss! Maybe you know him.
Monica: Oh-ho-ho, sweetie, sweetie, you gotta stop saying that, now. Its no big deal, its not even worth mentioning, you see we all do it all the time. See watch this, Ben, Ben, Ben. (goes over and starts hitting her head on the post) Ow, Monica bang! (does it again) Everybody bang. (repeats) Ben bang. (repeats) Rachel bang. (repeats) Bang, Rachel bang! Oh, isnt that fun?