words in movies
Ross: Uh, before we do uh, are any of Joeys special romance magazines in there?
Ross: Hey listen can you do me a big favor? The deans office just called and said there was an urgent meeting. Can you watch Ben for like an hour?
Ross: Whats the matter?
Rachel: Well thatyknow its just uh, Ive never done that before. Me and him alone.
Ross: Rach, hes not an ex-con.
Rachel: Okay. Well thats pretty much all that we haveOh! Oh! Have you ever had a virgin margarita? (Holds up a bottle of margarita mix.)
Ben: Whats a virgin?
Chandler: Sorry, I just dont like the idea of when I say, "I do," hes thinking, "Yeah, Id do her too!"
Phoebe: No! No! Its-its uh a real thing! Anyone can get ordained on the Internet and perform like weddings and stuff!
Phoebe: Yes! A friend of mine did it and its totally legal!
Rachel: Ben yknow when uh, when you were a baby, you and I used to hang out all the time. Cause I was, I was your daddys girlfriend.
Rachel: Hey! We were not on aOkay. Thats fine! Fine. Yknow what Ben? One day when you are a lot older I am going to tell you that entire story over a pitcher of real margaritas, okay?
Ben: Whens my daddy coming back?
Ben: (laughs) Thats a good one.
Rachel: Im funny? Oh thank God! Well hey, Ive got a ton of these! Umm, oh hearDo you want a good one? Heres a good one. Umm, you uh, you take a quarter, take a quarter and, and you blacken the edge. Right? (Does so.) And then you say to person, I bet you cant roll this quarter from your forehead to your chin without it leaving your face. And then when they do it, theyre left with a big black pencil line right down the center of their face.
Monica: Joey look its really sweet
Joey: No-no-no-no look no! I wont spit, and I wont stare at Monicas breasts! Yknow? Everyone knows Im an ass man!
Monica: Hey Pheebs, hows it going?
Monica: Its Hexadrin.
Phoebe: Oh no, I dont believe in Western medicine. No, if you just apply pressure to these points right here. (Shes pinching the bit of skin between her right thumb and forefinger with her left hand.) Then your hand starts to hurt and you still have a headache, so thanks. (Takes the pills.)
Joey: Oh! My head! Oh! (Hes sitting on the chair, lies back, and puts his feet up for Monica to rub.) Oh!
Rachel: Oh yeah? Did he pull the old (She is waving her hand up and down her face. Shes thinking about the pencil mark.)
Ross: Thats right! Thats right! Saran Wrap on the toilet seat so the pee goes everywhere!
Rachel: Oh, come on! Saran Wrap on the toilet seat, you dont think thats just a little funny?!
Phoebe: Its amazing! My headache is completely gone! What are those pills called?
[Scene: Carol and Susans, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]
Rachel: Well yknow I was just in the neighborhood and I passed by your building and I thought to myself, "Whats up with Carol and sweet, little Ben?"
Chandler: See Joe, not that thats not grrreat! But, one of the cool things about having somebody we know perform the ceremony is that it can be about us! Yknow, it can be more personal. You can tell stories about us!
Joey: Okay. All right. Umm, so uh, so how did it happen? Did your eyes meet across the room? And then the next thing yknow youre in the bathtub together and shes feeding you strawberries?
Chandler: Isnt that what happened with you and the brides maid?
Monica: No that is not what happened with us. Well, I was umm, I was really sad that night because this guy that I was Rosss mom.
[Cut to London, Chandlers hotel room. He is getting ready for bed by doing push-ups. One push-up. Just as he gets under the covers, theres a knock on the door.]
Monica: (standing outside) Cute PJs! Youre really livin it up here in London huh?
Chandler: Well, last time I saw him he was heading out the door with the brides maid and a bucket of strawberries. So uh, youre not still upset about what that guy told ya are ya?
Chandler: Well, look its been a really emotional time yknow, and youve had a lot to drink. And youve just got to let that go okay? I mean you were the most beautiful in the room tonight!
Chandler: You kidding? Youre the most beautiful woman in most rooms (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whats going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Chandler: (thinks) Thats the perfect amount!
Monica: (breaking the kiss) Yknow whats weird?
Chandler: Well I think its safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined.
Joey: Hey no-no-no-no! Its cool! Its cool! I-Ill only be a second, Im still with my brides maid, I justWhere are those condoms you brought?
Joey: Ah. (Joey walks to Chandlers bag by getting as far away from Chandlers bed as possible.)
Joey: Hey listen, why dont you come downstairs with me? Theres some really nice girls down there.
Joey: Thats what that was?! Cause that other thing? I thought you were on to something, but it did nothing for me.
Monica: Okay, can we change the topic? Because its really doing nothing for me.
Joey: Oh (To Chandler) Can you imagine if I hadnt left you that last one? You two mightve never gotten together. Ooh-ooh! Could you imagine if I sent that hooker up to the room like I was gonna?! Its like it was in the stars!
Phoebe: Yeah, its totally meant to be. (To Monica) Tell him who you originally wanted to hook up with that night.
Chandler: Oh, its not important? Its not important?! If it wasnt for a brides maid youd be marrying him (Points to Joey) not me!
Joey: And it is a love that is based on having and giving and receiv(Shuts up on Monicas glare.)
Joey: What?! Thats not fair! Its not my fault! I was off with my brides maid! And whos to say I wouldve even said yes?! (To Monica) I mean I wouldve said yes. Chandler look y-y-you are making way to big a deal out of this, all right? Look, everything worked out okay!
Chandler: Okay, its just weird! Okay? I dont want to be standing their saying my vows and then having the mental image of you and Monica! I-I-I need I dont know what I need. I need a walk.
Monica: Wait Chandler come on, letsits not a big deal!
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
(Theres a knock on the door and Ross enters.)
Ross: Whats her last name?
Ross: Of course I was mad! I told you I-I hate this stuff! Okay? It-its not funny!
Carol: Whats not funny?
Ross: Uh, yknow what? Ill tell you who it hurts! It hurts the kid who has all his clothes stolen in gym class so he has to go to the principals office wearing nothing but a catchers mitt!
Rachel: Fine. Fine, but Ill have you know that once I taught him that stuff he called me Fun Aunt Rachel. And I loved being Fun Aunt Rachel but Ill go back to being Boring and Uncomfortable Aunt Rachel if thats what you want!
Ross: No thats not what I want. Uh, Im glad you guys were bonding but I
Rachel: Look he doesnt have any brothers or sisters, somebodys gonna have to teach him this stuff! And I havent taught him anything that a normal 6-year-old doesnt know anyway!
Joey: Yeah for like a half an hour one night! Chandler, she wants you for the rest of her life! Youre so lucky! Look what I missed out on by not being there! Although you know what? It could never have worked like you guys did, cause you guys are perfect for each other. Yknow, we look at you and-and we see you together and it just it-it fits. Yknow? And you just know its gonna last forever.
Chandler: Thats what you should say.
Chandler: When youre marrying us; thats what you should say.
Joey: Well I dont know remember exactly but, its-its pretty much about having and giving and sharing and receiving.
Rachel: I cant let him go out that way, hes got a meeting. (To Ross) Youve got something here on your back.
Ross: What? (She takes the sign off and hands it to him.) Thats great. That is great. (Crumples up the paper and throws it down in anger.) What did we just finish talking about Ben?!
Ross: All right, thats it! (He runs over to Ben, but he runs past him and out the door.) Comeyouno! You are in big trouble young man!
[Scene: Monica and Joeys, Monica is cooking.]
Monica: Honey! Dinners ready!
Fat Joey: Whats my little chef got for me tonight?
Monica: Yep! And lots of it!
Phoebe: (still reading the label) Oh my God! This is a six-hour pill! (Checks her watch) Thats it! Im out of the woods! Ohh! What a relief!
Phoebe: Oh, its like huge weight has been lifted! Cause look, (reads the side affects) no hair loss, not a rash, no hives, Im just so happy! Because no shortness of breath, no temporary euphoriaOh.
Rachel: I love it at Joeys!
Rachel: Its not dumb. But, maybe its okay that youre not a part of it. Y'know what I mean? (Ross looks confused) I mean its like, I-I-I like that youre not involved in that part of my life.
Phoebe: Now, its you little bunny friend. (She sticks it in Rachels face and they both laugh.)
Rachel: Hes got this thing. And I keep telling him to go to my chiropractor...
Phoebe Sr: Oh, thats okay, it gave me time to finish glazing my nipples.
[Scene: Chandlers office, Chandler is bent over getting some water as his boss approaches.]
Monica: Oh, this terrible! Everything is destroyed! Look at this. (She picks up some kind of furry thing.) It obviously meant enough for me to save it, and I dont even know what it is! Ohh, its still soft. (She rubs it against her cheek.) What do you think this is?
Monica: Whats the charity?
Phoebe: Cause thats just your taste.
Chandler: And yet, shes still not hanging up the phone.
Ross: Well I-I-I dont care how hot it is its-its uh, its wrong.
Phoebe: Have you seen your guys body?
Chandler: Thats still in there?!
Ross: We had such a great time! Shes-shes incredible! I thought the-the age difference might be a problem, but it wasnt. It wasnt at all. Elizabeth is very mature for her age. (Joey makes the international sign for big boobies.) (To Monica) A concept lost on some people!
Phoebe (doing Estelle): Joey, it’s Estelle.
Joshua: Youre into hardcore S&M right?
[Scene: Rosss office, hes opening the door to Elizabeth.]
Rachel: Well Joey, uhm look, I know that she’s difficult, but I think it’s really good that she’s here.
Ross: That! Lets talk about that.
Ross: Whats-whats the difference?
(She walks over behind the coat rack, but Joey picks it up and moves it so that hes still behind it, and she cant see him.)
Rachel: I know isnt it? Its like Im right there with Joshua.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey! Whats up? (Sees the TV) Oh my God! What am I doing?!!
Phoebe: Ohh! Okay! Okay, cause when-when he said, "I cant wait to hear your first words," I thought, "Theres a trick."
(Chandler sticks out is tongue and its a horrible shade of green.)
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, lets talk it out.
Chandler: Was his question whats more boring than him?
Joey: Yeah that really calms me down. And! We have so much in common! She loves sandwiches, sports, although she is a Met fan, not much of an issue now but if were ever to have kids, well thats a
Monica: Hes great! I mean we have such a good time together! Hes so funny, and sooo sweet, and Im not attracted to him at all!!
Joey: Thats right! I helped you guys out a lot in the start of your relationship. Huh? I helped you guys sneak around for like six months, and I looked like an idiot! And I was humiliated. And I only made 200 dollars!
Joey: Come on man theres gotta be something that gets you choked up! Like uh, uh oh, what if you saw a three-legged puppy?
Chandler: Yes, God forbid we throw out old underwear. You-you know what? Im going to go over to Joeys.
Chandler: (To Joey) So uh, whats this thing youre auditioning for?
Emily: (Giggles.) Ohh...(She realizes that shes in her gown.) Oh! You were not meant to see me before the wedding. Its bad luck.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, they are both getting undressed.]
Chandler: Oh thats great!
Ross: Its your turn.
Joey: Well, there are so many things, its hard to pick just one.
Phoebe: Eh, better her than me! Hey, lets bake cookies!
[Scene: Dr. Burkes office, Rachel and Monica are waiting as the doctor arrives.]
Rachel: I mean thats unbelievable.
[Scene: Rachels Old Bedroom, Continued from earlier. Monica enters the room.]
Chandler: Well, stuff like whered we live, yknow? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Yknow, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, wed have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.
Joey: I dont know! But its the same!
Joey: What?!! Thats even worse!!
Rachel: (seeing Ross and Bonnie inside Central Perk) Oh my God! Phoebe look, its Ross and that girl.
[Cut back to Joey and Rachels apartment.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its the middle of the night. Joey is walking into the living room, and runs into the entertainment centre.]
Ross: Well, you shouldve seen the guy that she used to go out with. I mean, hes like Joe Rugby.
Rachel: Already? Thats pretty bad what you did.
Rachel: Im sure he will forgive you. Look, we have all been there! Yknow, you fight, you make up, its just the way it works.
(Ursula Buffay, Phoebes identical twin sister, is waiting on tables in her inimitable manner.)
Ross: Thats okay. Shes still in there enjoying her fake party and uh, its too late to do any of the things I had planned, so
Dina: Joey, I am scared to death about this. But I really think I can do it, Im just gonna need some help. And Bobbys gonna be here the whole time.
Monica: Oh, hes catching up to her!
Joey: What?! Its 6 oclock!
Chandler: Yeah, but Sebastian? What is that? A cats name?
Monica: Hey! Hows it goin?
Phoebe: Stop it! Stop it no! Thats not fair! Yknow I cant resist that beautiful voice!
Chandler: Whos number two? One of the more difficult games sewer workers play.
Rachel: Ooh, lets open them!
Phoebe: (yelling from Monicas room) No-no!! No!!
Janine: Its a curling iron.
Joey: Thats great. Thanks Rach.
Chandler: Yes, but in Rosss case, they both know in two weeks thats it.
Chandler: Oh! (Puts his hand on her belly.) Shes growing inside you.
Ross: It-its great to meet you Paul.
Ross: Thats funny. Umm . (Pause, then serious) Its not funny.
Chandler: Theres a Mr. Bing!
Joey: (hes just picked up their bill) Hey! So, whats with the 20 percent tip? Did I do something wrong?
Mrs. Geller: Can we talk to you for just a yknow Its just a little thing. Well we think its absolutely marvelous that youre having this baby out of wedlock, some of our friends are less open-minded. Which is why weve told them all that youre married.
Joey: All right look man, I didnt want to bring this up, but Chandler, is the stupidest name I ever heard in my life! Its not even a name; its barely even a word. Okay? Its kinda like chandelier, but its not! All right? Its a stupid, stupid non-name!
Monica: Its Chandlers way of pretending he didnt take mime.
Rachel: Ross, its okay. You can come out.
Monica: Yeah! Thats why Im sleeping with him on the side.
Chandler: Thats the thing, see I would like to stay in the pribe of mwha-ah-libe.
[Jack and Judy exit to Monicas room.]
Chandler: Hes taking off her coat!
Tag: Its just not really who I am. Y'know, Ive always been happier when Why am I telling you this? You dont care about this stuff.
Phoebe: Thats right.
Chandler: (To Monica) I told you I should not wear this color. (Hes wearing a reddish-orange sweater.)
Rachel: All right Joey! That is enough! (Grabs him and pulls him away from Bobby and Dina) Listen, as beautiful and moving as this ceremony is, its not legal. Okay? They-they dont have a marriage license, they dont have any witnesses, and the groom only has on one shoe!
"We thought Phoebe would leave, but she just stayed and stayed. Thats right, Im here all night, and Chandler will never get l "
Rachel: You went shopping?! What, and then you just came in here and paraded it right under Jills nose when you know shes trying to quit. Wow, you guys are terrible!
Chandler: No, no no no. Youll be fine. (turning to Monica) Hillarys bind, right?
Ross: Come on, would you grow up? Its no big deal.
Rachel: Whats the matter?
Monica: Oh thats great!
Monica: No, but someones really not going to get over that idea, are they?
Phoebe: Great! Okay then its just us girls!
Ross: Really? That okay, thats great.
Joey: Oh well, its not on TV yet.
The Dry Cleaner: Well, then its not on the wall yet.
[Cut back to the present, they are still in each others embrace.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, Chandler and Rachel are there, and Phoebe enters with the Chick and the Duck.]
Joey: Oh you should, its great.
Elizabeth: Are you okay? Whats wrong?
Rachel: Hi! Phoebe. (Both Monica and her try to move out of Phoebes way.)
Phoebe: Like okay I-I-I, I havent met any Portuguese people! I, I havent had the perfect kiss! And I havent been to snipers school!
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job.]