words in movies
Chandler: Treegers snaking the shower drain.
Mr. Treeger: (coming in from the bathroom) Whoa, hey, that ladys all kinds of naked.
Rachel: Honey, what are you doing? Thats too heavy.
Ross: Well I, thats the thing, I dont know! I mean, whenever I brought it up with her she said, (In a British accent.) "This is so fantastic! Why do we have to talk about the future? Lets just enjoy "
Monica: Ohhh, I knew you loved her! Then you need to go to the airport and tell her. Youre probably just gonna catch her just as shes about to go to the gate. Youre gonna call out her name and say, "I love you!" And shes gonna say, "I love you, too!" And you guys are going to have the most amazing kiss, everyone at the gate will applaud.
[Scene: Beth Israel Medical Center, Phoebe is at her OB-GYN doing an ultrasound, Rachel is with her. We here the babys heartbeat.]
The Doctor: Thats it.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!! So I-I mean so in a few months Im going to have three full grown babies just walkin around inside me?! Oh! Oh! And its gonna be one of those log rides where they just come shooting out!
Alice: Hi! (She runs over and hugs Phoebes stomach.) So, how did it go at the doctors?
Phoebe: Oh well, okay, hey, yknow how when youre umm, youre walking down the street and you see three people in a row, and you say, "Oh, thats nice?"
Phoebe: No, no maybe cause its harder to raise them, and the added expense, and
Alice: No-no-no, no, its going to be fine. Because umm, because I teach Home Ec, and uh, I can have 30 kids making baby clothes all year long. Yknow itll-itll be like my very own little sweatshop.
Frank: No, its okay. Were-were gonna have three kids! And thats-thats a different kind of dream. Three kids and no money.
Ross: Thats, thats, thats a big candy bar. (Shes holding one of those huge Toblerone bars.) I had the most amazing time with you.
Emily: Oh. (Shes shocked and hugs him.) Thank you. (She boards the plane.)
Ross: Thats no problem.
Rachel: Whats that song? It has been in my head all day long.
Chandler: Its the theme from Good Will Humping.
Chandler: All right look, forget it, forget it. You told her you love her, its over.
Ross: Okay! Okay! But if she doesnt call, it is definitely over! No, wait. Wait. Unless, eventually, I call her, yknow just to she whats going on, and, and she says shell call me back, but then she doesnt. Then its over.
Chandler: Whats the second part of your plan?
[Scene: Rosss bedroom, he has fallen asleep waiting for Emily to call. He is awaken by the phone.]
Ross: No, no, that-that, thats all right. Umm, Im just glad you called.
Emily: Ross umm, theres something that Ive got to tell you, theres-theres someone else.
Monica: This isnt how its supposed to go, there cant be another guy.
Monica: Of course theres another guy!! This is even more perfect! Now you have to prove your love!
Joey: Oh yeah, sure, that makes sense. Yeah. Cause you already told her you love her and she didnt say it back, then she called you and told you that theres another guy, so yeah, go to London thatll scare her!
Phoebe: Ooh-Ooh! I did it! I did it! I figured out a way to make money! Im gonna open up my own massage place and Franks gonna help me! And! We can work it around his schedule so he doesnt have to quit school!
Monica: Thats sounds great, but how are you going to afford it?
Phoebe: No! Think about it, its a taxi that people take when they need to relax, its
Phoebe: YOU DID NOT!!!! Oh! No! You came up with Relaxi Cab! Thats not good.
Ross: No, because she hasnt come home yet. And she hasnt been home all night! Shes obviously staying with that other guy, and Im the stupid moron who spent the whole night outside her apartment!
Phoebe: Hey, tell him about Relaxi-Taxi, and-and ask him if he thinks thats better than Relaxi Cab.
Rachel: Okay, its not Relaxi Cab. Its Relaxicab, like taxicab.
[Cut to London, we sit Ross sitting outside Emilys apartment. We hear Emilys phone ring with amazing clarity. Apparently, sound travels quite easily through the walls of British buildings. Anyhoo, Ross looks around for the ringing phone and in the meantime Emilys answering machine picks up and once again with amazing clarity we hear Emily say ]
Emily: Ross, are you there? Ross, I dont know if you can hear this but (Ross has moved to the window, apparently so that he can hear better.) Im gonna talk anyway, uh, Im in the States with you sister and your friends and its all over with Colin. I came here to tell you that, and to tell youYes, Joey you can have all the chocolate you want, just take it! Uh, I came here to tell you that I love you.
Emily: I wish I could know if youd heard any of that. I suppose Ive either just told you I love you or given my neighbours a good laugh. Mrs. Newman if youre listening, bugger off this in none of your business. I suppose theres not much chance you did heard that, and theres the call waiting so, I should go. Oh well. (Answers the call waiting.) Hello.
Joey: Thats kinda nice.
Chandler: Yeah, thats kinda a relief.
Rachel: Anyway, theres this big charity ball this weekend and Ralph Lauren bought a table, so I kinda have to go
Joey: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh . That-that-thats really just to show where the baby would go. Yknow why dont I hold on to him so that theres no confusion? (Takes him back, sets him on the chair, and apologizes to him.)
Joey: (crying) Why God?! Why are you doing this to us?! (He buries his head in Rosss shoulder.)
Rachel: I dont care! I dont care! You are going to have to take her out again and end it, and end it in way that she knows its actually ended. And, I dont care how hard it is for you, do not tell her that you will call her again!
Joey: Oh and (Ross begins to open the door and Joey says some gibberish word to indicate to Ross that hes not done yet. Ross closes the door again.) Okay, and uh if anyone needs help pretending to like it, I learned something in acting class, try uh, rubbing your stomach (Rubs his stomach) or uh, or saying mmm and uh, oh oh! And smiling (Smiles while pretending to stir a bowl), okay?
Monica: Ohh, of course we are! (They walk up to the elevators.) We left it up to fate. (Pushes the elevator button.) If we were supposed to get married there would be a clear-cut sign. (The elevator door opens to a priest reading from a bible with Chandler and Monica standing side-by-side holding each others hands.)
Chandler: Whos he huggin?
Ross: Here they come, here they come. Oh-ho, if she kisses him goodnight, Im gonna kill myself, I swear. I cant, I cant watch this. (turns away, then quickly turns to look again) Come on, date over! Date over! Uh-oh, here we go, shes going in.
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
Rachel: Thats right, still no baby! (To Monica, Joey, and Chandler on the couch) Come on people! Please make some room!
Ross: No, no. Shes way to emotional. And by emotional I mean crazy.
Monica: Huh. Whats doofus spelled backwards?
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Rachel is packing what she still has over there as Ross enters.]
Phoebe: Hmm, yknow theres another word for people like that. Losers!
Joey: I-I think everybodys pretending they dont hear you. Anyway, look, I dont know about you and your jackets and your separate tables, but Ross is one of my best friends, and if I save him a seat, Im telling you, he will sit in it! (Ross enters and goes over to the white table) Ross! Ross! Over here, man! I-I saved you seat.
Ross: 30 seconds on the clock. 5 questions wins the game. The lightning round begins now! What is Joeys favorite food?
Phoebe: Thats like the pervert motto! Yeah! Yeah! They have you raise your right hand, put your left hand down your pants, and repeat that!
Phoebe: Okay. Good, all right, lets get back in the car, cause its freezing, and my chest is unsupported.
Ross: Dont thank me! If you wanna thank something, thank the volcano that erupted thousands of years ago, killing but perfectly preserving an entire civilization. (Rachel just looks at him.) Heres Warrens number.
[Scene: The Womens Restroom, Rachel and Phoebe are waiting for the outcome of Rachels second test.]
Mr. Waltham: (Shaking everyone's hand.) Hello. Hello. How do you do? How do you do? Very nice to meet you. (Looking over at his wife.) Darling its the Gellers. (She pays no attention shes talking on a cellular phone.) (Louder) Darling, its the Gellers. (Shes still not responding.) Shes very self-absorbed, you know. I should never have married her.
Dr. Green: (on phone, not hearing her) theres gonna be a wedding! (Joey enters from his room and goes to get a beer from the fridge.) Thats unacceptable Rachel! What the hell does love have to do with it anyway?! There are more important things in a marriage other than love! (Joey hears something and looks around for the source.) constantly thinking about things! You have to think about the consequences of your decision. (Joey finds that the sound is coming from the phone and puts it to his ear.)
Chandler: No, its not like, like Phil Spiderman. Hes a spider, man. Y'know like ah, like Goldman is a last name, but theres no Gold Man.
Monica: (to the lobster) Lucky bastard! (Throws the lobster in and turns around to face the planets most annoying woman, next to Dr. Laura and Kathy Lee Gifford of course. Shes the most annoying female TV character however.) Janice.
Rick: Would you mind spending some time on my siadic area, its been killing me today.
Ross: Look, weve been together. Okay? And then apart, and then together, and then apart, and now we have a baby. (Pause) Its just if-if we got together again and it didnt work out I could never do that to Emma. I mean she-she thinking everything(Starts to cry.) Oh thats now me. What do they put something in the water in this place? Since Rachel and I were doing really, were doing really well right now.
Joey: No-no-no-no-no! Its a surprise, but its gonna be tricky thought because she said she was gonna be pretty busy at work for a while.
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas bathroom. Both are sitting on opposite ends of the bathtub.]
Monica: He had to go, theres a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah Monica! You listen to me, okay? And Im not just saying this because Im your friend, Im sayin it cause its the truth. Youre food is abysmal!
Monica: Oh come on, its only fair, you paid for the flight. Now is, is that enough lire?
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) What are you talking about? The auditions not til 5:00! (Chandler suddenly remembers and looks at the unfinished message then tries to sneak over and finish it as Joey listens.) Well, nobody told me! (Listens) Whod you talk to? (Listens and turns around to see Chandler trying to finish the message.) Nevermind! (Hangs up.)
Monica: Oh please! Dad turned my room into a gym 20 minutes after I moved out! I gotta say, a tanning bed and a stack of Victorias Secret catalogues, not a gym!
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, Mr. Geller and Ross are finishing up recreating Monicas memories as Monica enters.]
Ross: Okay. (He sits her down in a chair.) Uh, Ross and Rachel. Rachel and Ross. Thats been one heck of a see-saw hasnt it?
Rachel: Ohh, I like swimmers bodies!
Ross: But, Elizabeth and I are-are both adults and so I dont think theres really anything you can do about it.
Rachel: Whoa-whoa-whoa, lets say more!
Rachel: Mommas Little Bakery, Chicago, Illinois. (They exit with the cheesecake.)
Chandler: Oh thats not true! Thats not true! I got her that backpack and she loved it! I remember how much she was crying the day when that big dog ran off with it (notices the look on Monica and Phoebes faces.) Oh, there was no big dog. All right this sucks! I already got her this briefcase, and I had R.G. put on it (Phoebe looks confused.) Her initials
Phoebe: Is that a real place? (Rachels stunned) Are they hiring?
Ross: Yeah, its the Ultimate Fighting Combo. Yeah, I saved thirty cents, plus I get to keep the cup. Yay!!
Phoebe: Yeah, I like Vince a lot, y'know? But, its just Jasons so sensitive, y'know? And in the long run, I think sensitive its just better than having just like a really, really, really nice (pause) butt. (Her eyes glaze over thinking about the butt.) (pause) Jason! Definitely Jason! Okay, wish me luck!
Joey: I dont know. I like her, you know. Shes different. Theres uh, somethin about her.
Ross: Oh, and also, hes, hes walkin kind of funny, his left leg is moving a lot faster than his right leg, and hes in there just sort of y'know... (walks around in a circle)
Chandler: Okay, then you gotta back away, all right? You dont need that kindve hurt. Take it from a guy whos never had a long term relationship......
Chandler: And thats the Chrysler Building right there.
(He walks away and Joey does Rosss fist thing. He then enters Richards dressing room, to find Richard cutting his steak with his sword.)
Rachel: Umm, okay. But while you dial, let me show you the features of my new ringing handbag. (Rachel dials her phone and Phoebes bag starts to ring.) Oh, it does work! (Rachel grabs the phone and takes it out of Phoebes handbag.)
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up as her boss, Mr. Waltham, walks in.) Oh! Mr. Waltham, I ah really need to talk to you.
[Cut to later, they are finishing up the pizza, theres one piece left.]
Rachel: Y-Yeah! What-what is your wifes name?
Phoebe: Now, we can kick anybodys ass!
Phoebe: Oh, if thats what you want you then you really should run his head under hot water and bang his head against a table.
[Scene: Monicas birthday, Monica is now dressed and is being helped out by Chandler and Rachel.]
Rachel: Well I just came...(She touches him near his heart. Shes almost in tears.) I just needed to tell you...(Looking into his eyes. She takes a deep breath.) Congratulations. (He hugs her. She can barely hold back the tears.)
[Scene: Hillarys apartmen,. Hillary and Ross are having dinner. He is avoiding opening his mouth.]
Mr. Kaplan: Ill bet your thinking, Whats an intelligent girl who wants to be in fashion, doing making coffee? Eh?
Phoebe: I like our way. Oh! (Grabs a piece and jumps a bunch of Joeys like in Checkers.) Chess!
Janice: Okay, Im going to need a comforter, but did you have a hypoallergenic one because otherwise I get very nasal. (Makes some weird sound) Do you have a cat? Cause its already happening. (Makes a nasal sound) Do you hear that? (She keeps making the nasal sound.)
Phoebe: No, cause she didnt tell me I was gonna die until the very end of the session, and I was not gonna waste a whole another hour there! I mean Ive only got a week left, yknow? Ive really gotta start living now! (So she picks up the latest copy of Car and Driver (a U.S. auto magazine), leans back, and starts reading.)
Rachel: Are-are you saying hes a geek?
Joey: Or! You can just, yknow (He walks up close to whisper in Rosss ear and when he gets there he pushes Ross into the fridge.)
Chandler: Not to shabby, I got this all off myself using my wifes tools. (He takes the door off the frame and we finally get to see whats behind the green door! It is stacked, floor to ceiling, with junk.) Oh my God!
Phoebe: Hello, tiny embryos. Well, Im-Im Phoebe Buffay, hi! Im-Im-Im hoping to be your uterus for the next nine months. You should know, that were doing this for Frank and Alice, who you know, youve been there! Umm, yknow they want you so much, so when you guys get in there, really grab on. Okay, and-and I promise that Ill keep you safe and warm until youre ready to have them take you home, so Oh! And also, umm next time you see me, Im screaming, dont worry, thats whats supposed to happen.
Chandler: Yes, but this is Pete. Okay? Hes not like other people, on your first date he took you to Rome. For most guys thats like a third or fourth date kinda thing.
Monica: (removes them) Thats because I-I was just grabbing some things out of the dryer, and its static cling. Or maybe its just that God knew Id be running into you and saw an opportunity.
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Joey stares at a picture of a bay on the wall. Janine comes out of her room.]
Phoebe: Okay, scarfs done. (Its not really a scarf, its just a bunch of yarn that Phoebe has tied together. Just then, Ross and Emily enter dragging with them Joey and Chandler.)
(Phoebe and Ross go to look for Chandler and Rachel enters Monica and Chandlers.)
Alice: Y'know it-its funny, um, Frank told me so much about you, but your not how I pictured you at all.
Mark: Ive kinda of had this ah, this crush on you. (Rachel is shocked) But since you were with Ross, I-I didnt do anything about it. But, now that youre not, Id really like to ask you out sometime. So-so thats-thats what Im doing, now.
[Cut to Phoebes room, Phoebe has put her helmet on one of her teddy bears and is playing around with it. Ross knocks and pokes his head in the door.]
Phoebe: You dont know him. Its not important. He wants nothing to do with me or the baby. (She sits down like shes pregnant.)
Monica: No its umm, more like a wrap. Okay so uh, Im gonna go guys.
Monica: She pulled it out of me! Shes like a conversational wizard! Howd it go?
[The next one is from Episode 603: The One With Rosss Denial, Joey is amazing Phoebe and Monica by holding his breath.]
[Scene: Treegers apartment, Joey knocks on the door and Treeger opens it.]
Dr. Long: You can take some caster oil, theres eating spicy foods
Phoebe: No but at Monicas you can eat cookies over the sink!
Chandler: Hey-hey! I thought Naked Thursdays was just our thing man!
Joey: Have you kissed her yet? Its awesome! I could do it forever! Yknow what? She-she kisses better than my mom cooks!
Mona: (entering) Hey Ross, whats going on? You changing the lock?
Phoebe: No! No!! Its me! Its me! I-I didnt want to make any noise!
Joey: Oh, its a poster for that World War I movie that Im in, check it out.
Monica: Well, I did one time, and-and I want to start doing it more. See thats what this is about.
Rachel: No, no-no, its okay, calm down. Mark and I talked, and I realised how much I love your stupid brother, and, yeah, we got our problems, but I really want to make it work.
Joey: (Holding a turkey leg) Theres gravy?
Monica: I dont believe this! Wow, look at this refrigerator! Its gigantic! I mean I could live in this thing! Id be cold, but Im always cold. Oh my God, look at these spider burners! I love spider burners.
Emily: Dont you point your pants at me! (She throws them on the floor.) We have no choice! Anywhere thats half-decent wouldve be booked months ago, Ross dont you understand? This is our wedding Im talking about.
Rachel: Oh, come on! Saran Wrap on the toilet seat, you dont think thats just a little funny?!
Phoebe: Yeah. Thats what you really want. Yeah, I dont want to be the reason youre unhappy, that would just make me unhappy, and I really dont want to be the reason Im unhappy.
[Scene: Chandlers and Monicas apartment, Chandler and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table making potpourri sachets.]
Joey: Oh, nothing, no. Its an acting exercise, Im practising my fake laugh.
Chandler: Eh, y'know what, shes to political, she probably wouldnt let you do it, unless you donated four cans of food first.
Joey: Okay! (He yanks his hand away.) All right. Umm, all right Wayne, level with me. Okay? I-I keep hearing all these rumors that I might get fired. Okay, they even have actors coming in to read for my part! Come on man, you-you got to give me a second chance! I mean, I love-I love this little guy! (He grabs C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm and pulls it off at the elbow.) Ah-ah!! (Wayne is shocked.) Okay, thats why you didnt want me to touch him right? Here you go! Okay? (Hands Wayne the arm and he goes to fix it. Meanwhile Joey starts to berate himself.) Stupid! I cant believe it! God! (A very beautiful woman walks by.) (To her) Hey, how you doin? (He and her go over to talk and Wayne looks on with envy.)
Rachel: Check if its wet, check if its hungry, burp it!
Chandler: (getting up to investigate) Okay, everybody stay here. I will find out whats going on.
Rachel: Bloomingdales eliminated my department. (Phoebe gasps)
Phoebe: Ohh thats so sweet! (Her cell phone rings.) Oh! Hang on! (Quickly grabs a cigarette and starts to light it as her phone rings.) Hang onnnnnn!!! (Gets the cigarette lighted and answers the phone.) (On phone.) Go!! No! No-no! I said sell when it hits 50! 5-0, its a number! It comes after 4-9!! No, its okay. Its okay, youre allowed one mistake. Just kidding, you are of course fired.