words in movies
Joey: (hes just picked up their bill) Hey! So, whats with the 20 percent tip? Did I do something wrong?
Joey: Yknow whats more generous than that?! Fifty percent! Yknow whats even more generous than that?!!
Ross: Whats up with the greed Joe?
Joey: All right, look Im sorry you guys, but its just that I gotta get these new head shots made. And theyre really expensive, yknow? Im down to like three! Well, actually two cause one of em I kinda blackened in some teethWhy did I do that?! (Hits himself in the head.)
Joey: No-no! I used to get paid for all kinds of medical stuff, remember? Lets see uh, well I dont want to donate sperm again. (To Ross) I really prefer doing that at the home office yknow? (Ross nods his head.) Ooh-ooh, maybe they want like some of my blood or-or spit or something, huh?
Gunther: That guy (points) has been waiting for his coffee for ten minutes! Hes complained about you three times! (He hands the coffee cup to Joey, assuming that Joey will deliver it and walks away.)
Phoebe: Now, we can kick anybodys ass!
Ross: Well, of course you can defend yourself from an attack you know is coming, thats not enough. Look, I studying kara-tay for a long time, and theres a concept you should really be familiar with. Its what the Japanese call (he holds two fingers up to his temple, and he does this every time he says this word) unagi.
Ross: No, its a concept!
Phoebe: Yeah it is! It is! Its freshwater eel!
Ross: (moves closer) All Im saying is, its one thing being prepared for an attack against like each other; whole another story being prepared for an attack, I dont know, like a (turns and puts his face close to Rachels and screams) surprise!!
Chandler: Okay, look I need your help, I dont know what to get her for Valentines Day.
Rachel: Well, Valentines Day was like two weeks ago, so I wouldnt get her a calendar!
Chandler: (laughs) She was working on Valentines Day so were celebrating it tonight.
Phoebe: Ooh, Joey, thats actually a really good idea!
Phoebe: Ohh! I have! I have! I started making these little sock bunnies! (She takes out a sock thats been made into a bunny with eyes, nose, mouth, whiskers, and two other socks sown onto it for ears.) Oh for crying out loud!
Phoebe: Now, its you little bunny friend. (She sticks it in Rachels face and they both laugh.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is desperately trying to make his Valentines Day gift. He takes a paper cup, turns it upside down, sticks two pencils into the top, and hangs a coat hanger from the bottom.]
Chandler: Hey! Honey, can I ask you a question about the Valentines Day gifts?
Monica: Okay. (They kiss.) Okay, I cant wait! This is going to be the best Valentines Day ever! (Chandler giggles and exits.) I cant believe it! Make the presents! Make the presents!
Joey: Oh thats too bad. Ive kinda been saving up. (She just looks at him in horror.) Uh, are you sure theres no studies I can participate in?
Receptionist: Well, heres a schedule of whats coming up. (Hands it to him.)
Receptionist: Oh that one is available now, but only identical twins are eligible. Its a twins study.
Joey: But its $2,000.
[Scene: The Hallway between the Apartments, Ross is hiding behind that bump out on Monicas side waiting for Phoebe and Rachel. As they come up the stairs, he jumps out and yells ]
Ross: Whats up?
Ross: Yknow what? Shed-shed love this. (Picks up a model of the Saturn V rocket, thats the one that took man to the moon.) Uh, its an exact replica of Apollo 8. I made it in the sixth grade.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, hes still trying to figure out what to make Monica.]
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (He goes to the closet, moves the clothes out of the way, and notices an empty hanger. He takes the empty hanger and bends it all out of shape. Then he holds it out as if hes giving it to her.) Yes honey, I made it myself. (He throws it down and goes to her chest, grabs something, goes to the bed table, and takes out a pair of scissors. He turns around and holds the scissors to the crotch of the panties he just removed.) I cant do it. I cant do it. (He throws them both down and continues looking. He opens another closet door and finds a tape.) Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! (He runs out into the living room.)
Chandler: Now, its not wrapped because I just, just finished it.
(He opens his present to find Phoebes sock bunny from earlier.)
Chandler: Its a sock bunny.
Monica: Well, I did one time, and-and I want to start doing it more. See thats what this is about.
Monica: No! No, she doesnt. Uh Phoebe, what she makesthats uhtheyre sock rabbits. They are completely differentOkay! Okay! Okay! I didnt make it! Im sorry! I totally forgot about tonight and the fact that were supposed to make the presents!
Chandler: Oh, its okay. I dont
Monica: No-no, its not okay! Its not! I mean you were just Youre so incredible! You went through all this time and effort to make this tape for me! Yknow Im just gonnaI, I am gonna make this up to you! I will! I-I am going to cook anything you want in here (points to the kitchen), and I am going to do anything you want in there! (Points to the bedroom.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, they are relaxing in sexual bliss.]
Chandler: Well, its like that old saying, have some sex, eat some cake.
Joey: Okay, I know it sounds crazy, but I think it might work. Yknow? The only problem is, Carls acting is (Does the international hand symbol for so-so.)
Joey: Yeah, hes the reason I didnt get that big Minute Maid commercial a couple of years ago remember? We were supposed to be brothers, but he messed it up.
Rachel: Definitely! Phoebe, you will not find a single game show host, whos ass I cannot kick.
(They start to walk into the living room and notice someones head sticking up from behind a chair. The camera cuts to the other side and we see its Ross.)
Ross: Its not something you are! Its something you have!
Joey: Thats right! And what are you not gonna do?
Joey: Thats us.
Joey: Thats right, $2,000.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is getting ready for Chandlers arrival. He enters and finds the place lit with candles and dinner on the table.]
(Suddenly, a strange and familiar voice comes out of the tape player. Heres a hint, OH MY GAWD!! Thats right, its Janice!)
Janice: I love the way you look every night Chandler! (Monica breaks the kiss and Chandler freezes in terror.) Thats why I made you this tape! Happy Birthday! Love Janice!
[Scene: A womens self-defense class, the instructor is just finishing a class.]
The Instructor: Okay ladies, that ends todays class, and lets remember, lets be safe out there.
Ross: Its a great class.
Ross: Yes thats right.
Ross: No, I mean its okay, I mean, theyre-theyre my friends. In fact, I-I-I was married to one of them.
Ross: Oh, no! No-no! No, I tired! But I couldnt. Thats why Im here. Maybe we could attack them together? (He glares at him.) That-thats a no.
Chandler: Come on Monica, its our Valentines Day. Please? Please-please, please?
Janices Voice: (singing) My funny valentine, sweet comic valentine! You make me high over my heart!
Janices Voice: (singing) Youre look for laughable (She does the now patented Janice laugh.)
Phoebe: Oh, its Ross on one of his drives!
Rachel: No-no-no! No-no-no! Please Ross, I cant! I cant do it! (Starts to freak out.) Its just gonna freak me out!!!
Joey: Hey Monica its Joey. Listen uh, Phoebe and I smell gas comin from your apartment.
Phoebe: Oh my God, hes lost it. Hes totally lost it.
[Cut to Monica and Rachels apartment, all are there.]
[Cut to Chandlers bedroom.]
Chandler: You kidding? Youre the most beautiful woman in most rooms (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whats going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Joey: Hey! Youre here! Great! Great! Great! Lets get going buddy, weve got a scene to shoot!
[Scene: Allesandros, Monica is cooking.]
Joey: Yeah, it is. Its really tough. Yknow sometimes I thinkWow!! Nice move!
Rachel: Well, Joshuas coming in tomorrow and since I dont have the guts to ask him out, Im going to sell him a coat and put this note in the pocket.
[Scene: Joeys work, selling Christmas trees.]
Rachel: Okay, well that�s now the third sign that I should not leave Emma.
Phoebe: No-no-no, but I am mad! I am mad! Because this stuff is everything that is wrong with the world! And its all sitting up in my living room and all I can think about is how I dont have that lamp!
Monica: Its kind of an important one!
Chandler: Maybe thats because soy-burgers suck!
The Doctor: Thats it.
[Cut back to Rachels party, everyone is now eating breakfast, except Rachel.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Joey is entering]
Rachel: I cant believe Mark didnt call. Its Sunday night, and he didnt call.
Ross: Thats no problem.
Joey: Now thats a thinker.
Phoebe: (pushing Monica back onto the couch) Its so inspired! Look at him! Look at him go!
Fireman #2: No, there was an appliance left on in the bathroom. Its looks like a curling iron.
Tag: Its lame, I know. But Im a goal-oriented person, very eager to learn
Chandler: Well, Kathys last boyfriend was Joey.
Joey: Thats kinda nice.
Monica: Its a globe and, a pencil sharpener.
Emily: Thats Carol with your son!
Hoshi: Its just hard when I know I have e-mail I cant get!
Rachel: Well Thats yknowThatsWeve been alone for the last twenty minutes were doing okay. Besides yknow what? I-IMaybe we wont be alone, cause lately I-Ithings have been happening between me and Ross, yknow? Right before I went into labor, we-we had this kiss. Yknow? So it might be the the beginning of something.
Monica: All right, come on guys, lets go! Tie score, and were runnin out of time. Forty-two!! Thirty-eight!! Hike! (the timer sounds as Monica throws the ball to Phoebe.)
Joey: (To Chandler) Okay, this is it. Its my big fight scene coming up. (He looks over and Chandler and notices that hes asleep.)
Phoebe: Yeah, that was Leslie calling again to see if we can get back together. Thats the twentieth time today! And good luck Leslie!
Ross: 11, unbelievable 11 is correct. (The guys celebrate.) All right, thats 4 for the guys. Ladies, youre up.
Chandler: Well this is great. Yknow, those cameras were the only thing that was gonna cheer Monica up today, shes really depressed.
Phoebe: Well, umm, my Moms friend, Phoebe, is actually my birth Mom.
Rachel: Oh uh-uh pal! Dont call me mommy! Its bad enough you call your own mother that. (He looks at Monica.)
Phoebe: He is! But hes getting divorcedRoss! Maybe you know him.
Monica: Oh-ho-ho, sweetie, sweetie, you gotta stop saying that, now. Its no big deal, its not even worth mentioning, you see we all do it all the time. See watch this, Ben, Ben, Ben. (goes over and starts hitting her head on the post) Ow, Monica bang! (does it again) Everybody bang. (repeats) Ben bang. (repeats) Rachel bang. (repeats) Bang, Rachel bang! Oh, isnt that fun?
Ross: I like this one. (Points to it.) It seems to say, "I love you and thats why I have to kill you."
Carol: Whats too much fun?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is coming home. As we walks through the door, and without looking up, he goes to throw his keys on the foosball table, only, its gone and the keys it the floor. He then looks up at an empty apartment; everything is gone except for the entertainment center and that ceramic dog. Even the food in the fridge!]
[This starts a series of flashbacks starting with Monica and Chandler forcing Joey to keep his new found knowledge of their secret relationship in Monicas bedroom in The One With All the Kips.]
Monica: Please, could you just try it for me? Come on, I used all my best stuff! I-I-I lit some candles. I put on some music. I used bath salts, plus bubble bath! And got you this little plastic Navy ship. So its a boy bath!
Joey: Its not that bad.
Joey: Whats up with Gene?
Rachel: Shes totally right! When we were together, you got all freaked out about Mark and there was nothing going on.
[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler & Nina are locked in a passionate embrace. Someone knocks, so they hurriedly separate to stare out of the window. Chandlers boss opens the door.]
Sophie: Yknow why? Shes got the Christmas bonus list in there. I saw her working on it this morning.
Janice: Whats the matter? Is something wrong? Do you have to stay?
Rachel: No, hey, come on, if he asked you first, thats only fair. (leaves)
Chandler: Oh, I have to get married in James Bonds tux!
Ross: Yes, thats what I was going to ask, thank you.
Phoebe: If shes no fun, why do you want to date her at all?
Chandler: Because hes crazy. Okay? He came up to me earlier and thanked me for my very moving performance in Titanic.
Rachel: HEY!! Do you have to do that? Its Saturday!
Dr. Green: Hes Bobby Bobby?
The Singing Man: (singing, duh) Mornings here! Sunshine is here! The sky is clear, the mornings here! The mornings here!
Chandler: Yknow what? Its gonna be okay. Yknow what? Shes probably not gonna even want to come.
(She escapes, fortunately so distracting Mr. Douglas, that he misses Chandlers expression of alarm & guilt.)
Rachel: Its okay! Its okay! It kicked once, itll kick again!
Ross: (to Rachel) But work comes first! (to Mark) Oh hey, but thats sad about you though, what happened? Burn out? Burn all out, did ya?
Joey: So the ah, plays pretty great, huh?
Rachel: No!! No! Hes not married, or involved, with anyone!
Ross: Ugh, shes saying good-bye to her uncle.
Phoebe: Thats too hard. Too hard!
Joey: Whats the game?! Whats the game?!
(She turns her head away and when shes not looking, Phoebe shakes her head and mouths, "No, Im not." Both Joey and Ross smile, look at each other, and then stop smiling.)
Rachel: Oh, now see thats a fancy but.
Chandler: Fine, lets do it.
Rachel: Phoebe, its okay. I like living with Joey.
Emily: Ohh, its a bit small.
(Its Rachels turn to open the door.)
Rachel: I know (she touches Emma’s head) but they’re just so beautiful! Oh, my God, I just pulled one out.
Joey: Hey, what happened to your fancy chefs jacket? (sees theres a burn spot on it)
Chandler: Oh, well, thats great!
Chandler: Oh yeah, then uh, what was Phoebes song about?
The Singing Man: (singing) Mornings here! The mornings here!
The Museum Official: Yes. Were very popular. Theres a two-year waiting list. Sorry! (She kinda storms out with the couple.)
Ross: Thats a good point. So uh, how long are you gonna punish him?
Monica: Chandler, thats like your fourth cup of coffee!
Rachel: Because, hes my friend.
Hooker: Uh, no. But I could pretend to strip, but thats gonna cost extra. Okay, heres the extras, handcuffs, spanking (Chandler grunts for her not to continue and Joey pulls him back into the kitchen.)
Ross: Whats wah-pah?
Monica: You know everything!! Oh wait, double or nothing. I bet you the baby is over seven pounds. (Phoebe isnt interested.) I bet you it has hair. (Shes still not interested.) I bet you its a girl.
Rachel: Oh, thats sweet.
Chandler: Its not something to be proud of, okay? You have to go to a sleep clinic!
Ross: What? Rach! Come on, thats terrible! Theyre uh theyre babies. Theyre-theyre all beautiful.
Rachel: Oh yeah, no, whats that?
Monica: I know that theres no hole there, I just really liked that picture.
[Scene: The beach house, Rachels bedroom. She is finishing up writing something as Ross walks through the door.]
Ross: Theres no or in mind. What is wrong with these pants?!!
Chandler: Its 6:00.
Chandler: Steps! (He opens the door to his apartment to Ross and Joey looking at the new Playboy) Slut! (Ross and Joey quickly hide the Playboy behind their backs. Chandler wonders into the girls apartment.) You will all be very happy to hear that Kathy is sleeping with that guy!
Rachel: Well, thats great.
Rachel: Ohh, here you are. I was looking for you before. Joshuas gone so you and Emily are free to go.
Joshua: Then uh, whats-whats this? (Shows her the real anti-theft device.)
Phoebe: Im not gonna right to you! Thats not real!
[Scene: Kathys apartment, Chandler is knocking on the door.]