words in movies
Joey: (hes just picked up their bill) Hey! So, whats with the 20 percent tip? Did I do something wrong?
Joey: Yknow whats more generous than that?! Fifty percent! Yknow whats even more generous than that?!!
Ross: Whats up with the greed Joe?
Joey: All right, look Im sorry you guys, but its just that I gotta get these new head shots made. And theyre really expensive, yknow? Im down to like three! Well, actually two cause one of em I kinda blackened in some teethWhy did I do that?! (Hits himself in the head.)
Joey: No-no! I used to get paid for all kinds of medical stuff, remember? Lets see uh, well I dont want to donate sperm again. (To Ross) I really prefer doing that at the home office yknow? (Ross nods his head.) Ooh-ooh, maybe they want like some of my blood or-or spit or something, huh?
Gunther: That guy (points) has been waiting for his coffee for ten minutes! Hes complained about you three times! (He hands the coffee cup to Joey, assuming that Joey will deliver it and walks away.)
Phoebe: Now, we can kick anybodys ass!
Ross: Well, of course you can defend yourself from an attack you know is coming, thats not enough. Look, I studying kara-tay for a long time, and theres a concept you should really be familiar with. Its what the Japanese call (he holds two fingers up to his temple, and he does this every time he says this word) unagi.
Ross: No, its a concept!
Phoebe: Yeah it is! It is! Its freshwater eel!
Ross: (moves closer) All Im saying is, its one thing being prepared for an attack against like each other; whole another story being prepared for an attack, I dont know, like a (turns and puts his face close to Rachels and screams) surprise!!
Chandler: Okay, look I need your help, I dont know what to get her for Valentines Day.
Rachel: Well, Valentines Day was like two weeks ago, so I wouldnt get her a calendar!
Chandler: (laughs) She was working on Valentines Day so were celebrating it tonight.
Phoebe: Ooh, Joey, thats actually a really good idea!
Phoebe: Ohh! I have! I have! I started making these little sock bunnies! (She takes out a sock thats been made into a bunny with eyes, nose, mouth, whiskers, and two other socks sown onto it for ears.) Oh for crying out loud!
Phoebe: Now, its you little bunny friend. (She sticks it in Rachels face and they both laugh.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is desperately trying to make his Valentines Day gift. He takes a paper cup, turns it upside down, sticks two pencils into the top, and hangs a coat hanger from the bottom.]
Chandler: Hey! Honey, can I ask you a question about the Valentines Day gifts?
Monica: Okay. (They kiss.) Okay, I cant wait! This is going to be the best Valentines Day ever! (Chandler giggles and exits.) I cant believe it! Make the presents! Make the presents!
Joey: Oh thats too bad. Ive kinda been saving up. (She just looks at him in horror.) Uh, are you sure theres no studies I can participate in?
Receptionist: Well, heres a schedule of whats coming up. (Hands it to him.)
Receptionist: Oh that one is available now, but only identical twins are eligible. Its a twins study.
Joey: But its $2,000.
[Scene: The Hallway between the Apartments, Ross is hiding behind that bump out on Monicas side waiting for Phoebe and Rachel. As they come up the stairs, he jumps out and yells ]
Ross: Whats up?
Ross: Yknow what? Shed-shed love this. (Picks up a model of the Saturn V rocket, thats the one that took man to the moon.) Uh, its an exact replica of Apollo 8. I made it in the sixth grade.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, hes still trying to figure out what to make Monica.]
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (He goes to the closet, moves the clothes out of the way, and notices an empty hanger. He takes the empty hanger and bends it all out of shape. Then he holds it out as if hes giving it to her.) Yes honey, I made it myself. (He throws it down and goes to her chest, grabs something, goes to the bed table, and takes out a pair of scissors. He turns around and holds the scissors to the crotch of the panties he just removed.) I cant do it. I cant do it. (He throws them both down and continues looking. He opens another closet door and finds a tape.) Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! (He runs out into the living room.)
Chandler: Now, its not wrapped because I just, just finished it.
(He opens his present to find Phoebes sock bunny from earlier.)
Chandler: Its a sock bunny.
Monica: Well, I did one time, and-and I want to start doing it more. See thats what this is about.
Monica: No! No, she doesnt. Uh Phoebe, what she makesthats uhtheyre sock rabbits. They are completely differentOkay! Okay! Okay! I didnt make it! Im sorry! I totally forgot about tonight and the fact that were supposed to make the presents!
Chandler: Oh, its okay. I dont
Monica: No-no, its not okay! Its not! I mean you were just Youre so incredible! You went through all this time and effort to make this tape for me! Yknow Im just gonnaI, I am gonna make this up to you! I will! I-I am going to cook anything you want in here (points to the kitchen), and I am going to do anything you want in there! (Points to the bedroom.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, they are relaxing in sexual bliss.]
Chandler: Well, its like that old saying, have some sex, eat some cake.
Joey: Okay, I know it sounds crazy, but I think it might work. Yknow? The only problem is, Carls acting is (Does the international hand symbol for so-so.)
Joey: Yeah, hes the reason I didnt get that big Minute Maid commercial a couple of years ago remember? We were supposed to be brothers, but he messed it up.
Rachel: Definitely! Phoebe, you will not find a single game show host, whos ass I cannot kick.
(They start to walk into the living room and notice someones head sticking up from behind a chair. The camera cuts to the other side and we see its Ross.)
Ross: Its not something you are! Its something you have!
Joey: Thats right! And what are you not gonna do?
Joey: Thats us.
Joey: Thats right, $2,000.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is getting ready for Chandlers arrival. He enters and finds the place lit with candles and dinner on the table.]
(Suddenly, a strange and familiar voice comes out of the tape player. Heres a hint, OH MY GAWD!! Thats right, its Janice!)
Janice: I love the way you look every night Chandler! (Monica breaks the kiss and Chandler freezes in terror.) Thats why I made you this tape! Happy Birthday! Love Janice!
[Scene: A womens self-defense class, the instructor is just finishing a class.]
The Instructor: Okay ladies, that ends todays class, and lets remember, lets be safe out there.
Ross: Its a great class.
Ross: Yes thats right.
Ross: No, I mean its okay, I mean, theyre-theyre my friends. In fact, I-I-I was married to one of them.
Ross: Oh, no! No-no! No, I tired! But I couldnt. Thats why Im here. Maybe we could attack them together? (He glares at him.) That-thats a no.
Chandler: Come on Monica, its our Valentines Day. Please? Please-please, please?
Janices Voice: (singing) My funny valentine, sweet comic valentine! You make me high over my heart!
Janices Voice: (singing) Youre look for laughable (She does the now patented Janice laugh.)
Chandler: (opening the door) Whats wrong?
Chandler: Ladies, ladies, lets just compromise okay? Phoebe, Rachel take off Monicas bra.
Chandler: Well, maybe since the age of 9, Frannies made some new friends.
Monica: Yknow, maybe its best that we never got to do it again.
Rachel: Joey theres something that you should know. Dina?
[Scene: Rachels Office, Joey has brought Dina to meet with Rachel.]
Phoebe: Yes! Yes you can, Im looking for Jacks parents.
Ross: Yeah but Pottery Barn! Yknow what I think? Its just she-shes weird. Yknow its because shes a twin. Twins are weird.
Ross: Playpen?! Bens seven!
Ross: Well, thats what Im here for. (Emma starts crying again) Want me to get that?
Rachel: Okay, so lets play for some pepper! Stop spending my money!
Chandler: Whats going on?
Lewis: I know! Its awful. I love you.
Jack: That’s true! This message could becoming to you from beyond the grave, Emma!
Monica: Yknow, I really have to tell Rachel, but I We just have to get it over with! Yknow, the next time we see them were just gonna tell them. Okay? Thats it.
Chandler: Hes at a dinner party.
(Brenda pulls a chair to the counter and uses it to get up on the counter in order to clean the top of the cabinets. Monica sneaks over, bends over, and tries to see the stain. That doesnt work so she sticks her head between Brendas legs. Suddenly Brenda changes her stance and traps Monicas head between her legs.)
Rachel: No! Seriously! Whats wrong with you?!
The Teacher: Right. Are you looking for Jacks parents to discuss the problems hes having with Ben? (Phoebe nods Yes.) Yeah. Because I really do think the parents should sit down and have a conversation.
Rachel: Wow! This explains so much! Last weekend, I went from store to store sitting on Santas lap.
Phoebe: Yeah. Yeah, thats what you need a good pill.
Phoebe: Ooh! Thats good! Wow! But now if you were pregnant, what would you name it? Hint: Phoebe.
Monica: No. No. Not it. Not it. Not it. (Checks another rack and another woman tries to reach around her.) (To the woman) Dont crowd me! (Finds it) This is it! This is the dress! Oh my God, its perfect! (She takes it off of the rack and someone has a hold of it on the other side of the rack and tugs on it.) Im sorry, this ones taken! (The other woman tugs harder pulling Monica through the rack.) Whoa!
Monica: Shes my favorite character on DOOL.
[Time Lapse, Paul is now weeping uncontrollably in Rachels arms.]
Ross: Pheebs come on! I mean, consider the source! Of course her ex-husbands gonna say that stuff. Now, if youll excuse me
Ross: Lets do the card!
Ross: Thats not what this is about okay? I-I am a sports car enthusiast. I have always been into cars.
Phoebe: Okay, a meat eater. Fine, thats one for you.
Doug: Whats going on Bing? Does uh, your wife have a problem with me or something?
Chandler: Oh uh well tomorrows no good for her either.
Stu: No problem. So whos the party for?
Rachel: No, no, no, no! Ross, wait! Come on! You know, there’s other stuff. Here’s a nice shirt, look at these nice pants...
Joey: Its no big deal, okay? Phoebe and I talked about it. Its just a crush! Its going to go away! (Looks down) Dude, you gotta rearrange your bubbles! Oh!
Ross: Yeah! Theyre putting together this panel to talk about these fossils they just found in Peru and The Discovery Channels gonna film it!
[Scene: Rachels office, she is coming in for the day carrying a picture for her new office. Mrs. Lynch is coming out of Joannas office, carrying a box.]
Phoebe: Umm, hes here to have sex with you.
Chandler: Okay, uh, how about, how aboutyknow what? We could play a new game. A new game, its fun.
Chandler: Oh thats all right sir, and thats just one girl.
Phoebe: Thats not Ralph Lauren. Sounds like him though.
Rachel: Um, excuse me, everyone. Ah, this is my last night working here, and I ah, just wanted say that I made some really good friends working here, and ah, its just time to move on. (at the counter Gunther starts to cry and runs into the back room) Ah, and no offence to everybody who ah, still works here, you have no idea how good it feels to say that as of this moment I will never have to make coffee again.
Joey: Oh, whats wrong?
Rachel: Its just the pizza place.
Phoebe: Oh, its the compulsively neat one by the window, okay.
Rachel: Thats the end of this conversation!
Ross: Mm-hmm. Shesshes emotional, but, but ballsy.
[Cut to Joey and Janines, theyre entering.]
Anxious Wedding Guest: (rushing up) Thats my car!
Chandler: I dont suck. Its sucks. You suck.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebes baby shower, she is holding those leather pants, and isnt happy about it.]
David: We enjoy watching each other. And I settle for watching each others performance, and we like each other.
Rachel: Yeah, actually thats my roommates.
Rachel: We cant find Chandler (Phoebe sticks her head and motions that they found Chandler)s vest. We cant find Chandlers vest.
Rachel: (laughs) Yeah, but Im pretty sure hes gay.
Student: Ooh, dude. Thats not gonna happen.
Monica: Well thats a little crazy. Although I am yknow glad to hear that youre branching out on what you look at on the Internet.
Chandler: Because its awesome.
Ross: (sexily) Yes there will. (Mona leaves and Ross tries to find the same table.) Oh guess what, Molly Gilbert youve just been bumped up to table one. And if its all right with you Im gonna take your place at table sixMartin Clickclocken.
Rachel: Because its embarrassing.
Rachel: So tell me, what are Joey Tribbianis end of the night moves?
Ross: A date?! Shes-shes got a date?! With who?
Monica: Okay, dinners ready!
Rachel: Thats what I was gonna say.
Ross: Im telling you its totally unconstituional.
Rachel: Oh. Oh. Well there you go. Whew! (Pause) That isthats greatthat is really great-great news. (Pause) Yknow cause the whole not being ready and kinda the financial aspects, all that. Whew. Wow, this is so just the way it was supposed to be. (Starts to cry.) God.
Rachel: (stunned) And theres marketing
Chandler: Uh Joe, when its one oclock in the morning and you dont come by? Thats okay!
Chandler: Thats a great idea! We can easily think of a way for us both to enjoy the room.
[Scene: Chandlers bedroom, he is sleeping with Marjorie. All of the sudden, Marjorie starts talking in her sleep, awakening Chandler. After a little bit, she quiets back down, and Chandler tries to get back to sleep. Theres a short pause until she starts screaming, causing Chandler to scream with her. She quickly calms down. This all wakes up Joey, who comes over wearing the mouth guard, opens the top half of Chandlers door, and starts to complain about the noise.]
Rachel: All right thats it! I am maid of honor!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Chandler is sitting on the couch watching TV as Monica comes out of the bathroom.]
Chandler: Oh my God, whats up?!
Chandler: (interrupting her just in time) Hey! Heres a dollar, consider it a deposit. Please sing at our wedding.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Monica comes from the bathroom as Chandler enters.]
Rachel: But only if its a girl.
[Scene: The Days of Our Lives producers office, Joey is entering to find Terry there.]
Phoebe: (To Ross) So whats going on with you?
Will: Yeah, its not. But Im rich and thin.
Monica: Rachel would be Phoebes, I would be Rachels, that way we all get to do it once and no one would get upset.
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, Monica is entering.]
Rachel: (seeing the collection of characters.) Wow! It looks like the Easter Bunnys funeral in here.
Monica: Oh. (She goes into the bathroom.) Whats wrong?
Monica: Okay, lets talk about something else.
[Scene: Joeys. Joey is laying on his recliner, depressed, and the dog is laying on the footrest.]
Monica: Just a minute! (To Chandler) Thats Mrs. Tribbiani!
Monica: Its Joey!
Ross: Uh, before we do uh, are any of Joeys special romance magazines in there?
Ross: Anyway. Thats when our Mom said we were not to play football ever again.
Joey: Hey. Well, whats up?
Ross: (sarcastic) Oh! Oh-oh, the bands ready! Well, I-I-we gotta do what the band saysI dont care about the stupid band!!
Phoebe: For God sakes, its Rachel!
Joey: Oh wow! Hes so lifelike! (Starts touching the guys cheeks) Unbelievable! (He starts tugging on the guys ears.
Rachel: Okay. (Pushes play.) Okay, thats him! Thats him! Thats Cujo! Thats Cujo!
Rachel: Thats what you just said!
Phoebe: (to Robert) Youve have lipstick right here (points to her cheek). Thats okay, its mine, we just kissed.
Chandler: Hey Pheebs, whats up?
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe walks up to and knocks on Chandler and Monicas door.]
Joey: What? Whats going on?
Chandler: Okay. 1 2 3Go! (Once again hes at a stalemate, but this time hes in pain.) (Pause) Im gonna kill myself!
Joey: Oh thats amazing. (Drops the sheet.)