words in movies
Joey: (reading) Three down, Days Of Our Lives star blank Tribbiani. Thats me!! Im blank!!
Monica: Three down knows Im married, whats three down doin?
Rachel: So did they call you to tell you your names gonna be in this?
Mike: This is the first time hes ever used this product, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. (To Kevin) Go ahead. ('Kevin' starts using the product, it is a spout that you jab into a paper milk carton so that you don't have to rip it open.) This works with any milk carton.
[The next one is from Episode 322: The One With The Screamer, its the end of Joeys play.]
[The next one is from Episode 204: The One With Phoebes Husband, when everyone including Julie is watching Joey in his porno.]
Joey: Well, there are so many things, its hard to pick just one.
[This starts another series of flashbacks about Joeys hobbies. The first one is from Episode 703: The One With Phoebes Cookies, Rachel is teaching Joey how to sail his boat, the Mr. Bowmont.]
Joey: (drinking a beer) Look at this clown! Just because hes got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. (Yelling) Get out of the way jackass! (To Rachel) Who names their boat Coast Guard anyway?
Joey: What are they doing out here? The coasts all the way over there. (Points to the coast.)
[The next one is from Episode 603: The One With Rosss Denial, Joey is amazing Phoebe and Monica by holding his breath.]
(We see Joey who has puffed up his cheeks and Chandler nonchalantly reaches down and pinches Joeys nose shut. In a few seconds, Joey has to move because hes now forced to actually hold his breath.)
Joey: Thats kinda nice.
Chandler: Yeah, thats kinda a relief.
Chandler: Whats wrong with you?
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.) Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Rachel: Its a trifle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch. [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] Then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef saut�ed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
[Time lapse, Ross and Joey are eating Rachels disaster.]
Joey: Whats not to like? Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Goooooood.
[The next one is from Episode 619: The One With Joeys Fridge.]
Chandler: Thats still in there?!
Rachel: Oh! Yay! Look! Theres a piece that doesnt have floor on it!
Joey: It was so stupid, I said some stuff in an interview that I shouldnt have said. But believe me, thats not gonna happen today.
Joey: You guys, this is Shelley, shes interviewing me for Soap Opera Digest, and Shelley, this are my friends
Rachel: (interrupting him) Hi! Im gal pal Rachel Green, and if you want the dirt, Im the one you come too. This might be Joeys baby (rubbing her stomach), who knows? Im just kiddingSeriously, (leans into the cassette recorder Shelley is using) gal pal Rachel Green.
The Interviewer: (returning) So, as Joeys friends, is there anything that you guys think our readers ought to know?
Rachel: (scoffs at him) Yeah, thats gonna get you into Soap Opera Digest. Well I (leans into the microphone again) I would just like to say that Joey truly has enriched the days of our lives.
The Interviewer: Oh! I like that. Whats your name?
Phoebe: Oh okay, its P as in Phoebe, H as in hoebe, O as in oebe, E as in ebe, B as in bee-bee and E as in (In an Australian accent) Ello there mate!
Joey: No thats all right. Dont worry about it.
Rachel: Oh but look! Thats gonna leave a stain!
Joey: Rach! Hey! Its fine! Youre at Joeys!
[The next one is from Episode 224: The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding, Joey has to kiss a guy in an audition and has been trying to find one to practice with.]
[The next one is from Episode 512: The One With Chandlers Work Laugh, Joey and Phoebe are betting on who will reach the treat the fastest, the chick or the duck.]
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you!
[Another group of flashbacks begin with Episode 513: The One With Joeys Bag. Joey is carrying the bag and has entered Central Perk to the amusement of Ross and Chandler.]
(Ross steps onto the bottom rung of the ladder and then steps on Joeys chest.)
(Ross continues to climb down. He puts his other foot further down on Joeys torso, but that doesnt work very well and hes forced to wrap his legs around Joey. Which then forces Joey to get a nice and close view of Rosss crotch.)
[The next one is from Episode 722: The One With Chandlers Dad.]
Joey: Check it out. (He turns around, pulls down his pants, and shows Phoebe that hes got panties on.) How much of a man am I?!
[The next one is from Episode 608: The One With Rosss Teeth, Chandler is accusing Joey of becoming less of a man.]
Joey: No Im not. Why would you say that? Thats just mean.
Joey: Its not what you said. Its the way you said it Oh My God, Im a woman!!!
The Interviewer: So, lets talk about women. Im sure our female readers will be interested to know about your romantic life.
[Another series of flashbacks begins with Episode 413: The One With Rachels Crush, Joey is telling Rachel and Phoebe how he picks up women.]
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
[The next one is from Episode 613: The One With Rachels Sister, Chandler has just opened the door to reveal a woman standing there.]
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
[The final one is from Episode 607: The One Where Phoebe Runs, Joey has been trying to repel Janice and sees its not working to his liking so hes confronting her about the sexual tension.]
The Interviewer: So, thats it. I guess thats all I need. Thank you so much. I think they will be running this in the beginning of next month.
The Interviewer: (returning) Oh wait! I almost forgot. We have to ask everybody this. Other than Days of Our Lives, whats your favorite soap opera?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone is reading Joeys interview.]
Joey: Oh yeah, thats just a little something for my huge gay fan base. (Winks at him.)
Ross: Chandlers gonna ask Monica to marry him!
Chandler: It’s perfect. It’s everything we’ve been looking for.
Phoebe: Its gone.
Chandler: See, maybe thats the one we shouldve actually hidden.
Monica: Whats the big deal?
Monica: Ohh Oh, thats okay I hate when people come back to complement the chef. Like I have nothing better to do! So whats up?
Joey: After she gave me that big speech?! She goes and makes a date with a guy on the same night she has plans with me? I think shes trying to pull a fast one on Big Daddy!
Phoebe: So now whats going on here?
Joey: (on the other end at a pay phone) Hey, its me. Listen Casey and I were on our way back and had a little car trouble.
Ross: Huh. Yknow whats not one of a kind? A twin!
(Rachels boss, Mr. Thompson walks up.)
Frank: Umm, its a lollipop and a uh, a home pregnancy test.
Ross: Whats-whats going on?
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Emma is still crying.]
Monica: Ohh thats sweet!
Chandler: Thats right! Where are the guys? Im ready to get drunk and see some strippers.
Monica: Hey, its good to see you!
Phoebe: Ohh! All right! All right. Heres what well do, Ill get twice as drunk as Monica and then no ones will even notice her.
Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, (points to Ross) married a lesbian, (points to Rachel) left a man at the altar, (points to Phoebe) fell in love with a gay ice dancer, (points to Joey) threw a girls wooden leg in a fire, (points to Chandler) livin in a box!! (goes to her room)
Richards Date: Hi, Im Lisa.
Monica: (to Richard) Its good to see you
Chandler: Yes. (Thinking hes gone.)
Monica: This is not, what I�m wearing. I�m ovulating and Chandler�s gonna be home any minute, so I thought we would try before dinner.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, everyone except Ross is decorating the tree.]
Rachel: Honey, its not just a matter of where you put it. I mean a baby changes everything. They cry all the time. I mean imagine bringing home some girl and trying to score when theres a screaming baby around.
Monica: Shes leaving for three months.
[Scene: Chandlers gym, He and Ross are there to cancel his membership.]
Monica: Okay well I think thats your answer.
Chandler: Would you just please....give me the receipt cause this is great. Its top notch.
[Cut to Rosss second wedding reception, Joey has just told him the band is ready with Rachel looking on.]
Mr. Bowmont: Thats me.
Joey: Are you kidding me?! Shes gonna this boat!
Joey: That guys still doing that?!
Monica: Okay well thats good to know.
Monica: (entering) Okay, its ready. Come on.
Ross: (to Chandler) Thats a duck.
[Scene: Monicas Restaurants kitchen, shes cooking as a waitress sticks her head in.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, Joey is drilling a hole in the wall and the drill comes out the other side really close to Chandlers head. Chandler then rushes out to talk to Joey.]
Chandler: The keys stuck in the lock.
Ross: Uh no-no, she-shes out for the night.
Phoebe: God! Ooh! What is that smell? Its coming from the bathroom. Ooh! (She goes to the bathroom.)
Joey: Oh, shes uh-uh really sick.
Ross: Thats okay Rach, were not liking Ross right now.
Monica: Yeah, its great.
Joey: Maybe thats the problem.
Monica: Thats right.
Joey: Thats so sweet. (pause) Im gonna get some coffee. (gets up and leaves)
Rachel: Wow, Monica, I love that, you really have faith in me. Thank you. Technical question, how do you know when uh, the butters done?
Monica: No thats, thats okay.
Carol: Ah yeah, but now its Susan and me in Mexico and the hostages coming home.
Joey: Okay thats fair.
Ross: Hey, its my list.
Richard: I think thats fair.
Phoebe: Yeah! And until then you are going to sing to me because the radios broken and you are selfish but have a nice voice.
Joey: Shes gone.
Joey: Hey, hey, look! It’s not about a few fries... it’s about what the fries represent.
Monica: (looking at one) Oh, heres a great one.
Ross: Hey, whats going on?
Ross: Whats up?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still sick and is hobbling out into the living room for some help from Chandler whos on the couch reading.]
Chandler: No no no! Look, Carol, can I call you Carol? (Pause) Wh-why would I when your name is Elaine? Oh what a great picture of your son, strapping! (She glares at him.) Thats a picture of your daughter, isnt it, well shes lovely. I like a girl with a strong jaw. Ill call you from Tulsa. (Exits.)
[Scene: Phoebes, Frank and her, are sitting on the counh, watching TV]
Monica: Chandler, youre not fourteen anymore. Okay? Maybe its time that you let that stuff go. If your fathers not at your wedding youre gonna regret it for the rest of your life.
Rachel: Thats also the smaller piece. (Puts the piece onto a plate.) Okay, there you go. Enjoy your half my friend, but that is it. No sharing. No switching, and dont come crying to me if you eat your piece to fast. (As shes saying that she is backing out the door, when she finishes she turns around to return to her place, stumbles and drops the cheesecake on the floor.) Oh!!!!
[Scene: Monicas bedroom, Chandler is playing with the bed.]
Rachel: Oh, its just an anti-theft device.
Rachel: Pheebs, thats great!
Chandler: Okay, so I guess thats about ah, two weeks before the topless thing kicks in.
Monica: He wanted to tell me hes gonna compete is some ultimate fighting competition thingy.
Rachel: Oh, uh, Joanna I was wondering if I could ask you something. Theres an opening for an assistant buyer in Junior Miss
Phoebe: Its not in the apartment? (Monica gives a Come on look) Oh no. I cant believe this is happening again.
Chandler: Tickets please! (Rachel hands over the tickets) Thats courtside baby!
Ross: Theres nothing the matter with me. See, Im not completely devoid of sentiment, see I have feelings.
Phoebe: Pretty big? Its huge! God, this guy doesnt have a clue! Hes just walking down the street thinking, I had sex with Rachel Green. I rock! then bam! Hes a father and everythings different.
Chandler: Its happened to you?
Monica: No its not! No! No! Now its about you and Ross getting back together!
Phoebe: (shes strumming something) Yeah? (Joey nods yes.) Okay, I think Ill play it at the wedding.
Monica: Thats true.
Joey: Excuse me, Aaron? (The director turns around.) Hi! Umm, I have a little problem with the schedules. Originally, I wasnt supposed to work today, and I have this wedding that I really have to be at. Its my best friends, and Im officiating so I really cant work past four.
Monica: Having a perfectly decorated tree is not what Christmas is about. Its about being with the people that you love.
Rachel: Okay come on Phoebe, its nothing! Monica, come on!
A Woman: Lets go!!
Phoebe: Well yeah, that and Chandlers problem.
Monica: Oh, can I borrow this? (points to his milk) My milks gone bad.
Joey: What?! Whats wrong with my eyes.
Joey: (shaking Rachels hand) Hi!
Kathy: (entering) Hey! (sees whats on TV) Oh God, is that Baywatch?
Receptionist: Well, heres a schedule of whats coming up. (Hands it to him.)
[Cut to Rachels bedroom.]
Monica: (outside the door) Its Monica, open up!
Monica: So its okay to date a student.
Chandler: Oh, shes got you running errands, yknow, picking up wedding dresses (Laughs and makes like Indiana Jones and his whip) Wah-pah!
Chandler: No-no, hes not back yet, but hell be here any minute. So uh, come on in. Have a seat. Bow or stern?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is singing outside Monica and Chandlers door.]
Chandler: Whats the matter honey?
Mr. Thompson: Thats good. Very good! (Walks away.)
Chandler: (on phone) Hey, its me. I know you cant stand to be in the same room as me, so I just thought Id try and apologize over the phone. All I (Joey hangs up the phone in disgust.)
Chandler: What in Gods name is that?!
Ross: Well, I was just playing with him, and y'know we were doing the alphabet song, which he used to be really good at, but suddenly hes leaving out e and f. Its like they just ah, I dont know, fell out of his head.
Emily: I wish I could know if youd heard any of that. I suppose Ive either just told you I love you or given my neighbours a good laugh. Mrs. Newman if youre listening, bugger off this in none of your business. I suppose theres not much chance you did heard that, and theres the call waiting so, I should go. Oh well. (Answers the call waiting.) Hello.