words in movies
Joey: (reading) Three down, Days Of Our Lives star blank Tribbiani. Thats me!! Im blank!!
Monica: Three down knows Im married, whats three down doin?
Rachel: So did they call you to tell you your names gonna be in this?
Mike: This is the first time hes ever used this product, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. (To Kevin) Go ahead. ('Kevin' starts using the product, it is a spout that you jab into a paper milk carton so that you don't have to rip it open.) This works with any milk carton.
[The next one is from Episode 322: The One With The Screamer, its the end of Joeys play.]
[The next one is from Episode 204: The One With Phoebes Husband, when everyone including Julie is watching Joey in his porno.]
Joey: Well, there are so many things, its hard to pick just one.
[This starts another series of flashbacks about Joeys hobbies. The first one is from Episode 703: The One With Phoebes Cookies, Rachel is teaching Joey how to sail his boat, the Mr. Bowmont.]
Joey: (drinking a beer) Look at this clown! Just because hes got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. (Yelling) Get out of the way jackass! (To Rachel) Who names their boat Coast Guard anyway?
Joey: What are they doing out here? The coasts all the way over there. (Points to the coast.)
[The next one is from Episode 603: The One With Rosss Denial, Joey is amazing Phoebe and Monica by holding his breath.]
(We see Joey who has puffed up his cheeks and Chandler nonchalantly reaches down and pinches Joeys nose shut. In a few seconds, Joey has to move because hes now forced to actually hold his breath.)
Joey: Thats kinda nice.
Chandler: Yeah, thats kinda a relief.
Chandler: Whats wrong with you?
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.) Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Rachel: Its a trifle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch. [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] Then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef saut�ed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
[Time lapse, Ross and Joey are eating Rachels disaster.]
Joey: Whats not to like? Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Goooooood.
[The next one is from Episode 619: The One With Joeys Fridge.]
Chandler: Thats still in there?!
Rachel: Oh! Yay! Look! Theres a piece that doesnt have floor on it!
Joey: It was so stupid, I said some stuff in an interview that I shouldnt have said. But believe me, thats not gonna happen today.
Joey: You guys, this is Shelley, shes interviewing me for Soap Opera Digest, and Shelley, this are my friends
Rachel: (interrupting him) Hi! Im gal pal Rachel Green, and if you want the dirt, Im the one you come too. This might be Joeys baby (rubbing her stomach), who knows? Im just kiddingSeriously, (leans into the cassette recorder Shelley is using) gal pal Rachel Green.
The Interviewer: (returning) So, as Joeys friends, is there anything that you guys think our readers ought to know?
Rachel: (scoffs at him) Yeah, thats gonna get you into Soap Opera Digest. Well I (leans into the microphone again) I would just like to say that Joey truly has enriched the days of our lives.
The Interviewer: Oh! I like that. Whats your name?
Phoebe: Oh okay, its P as in Phoebe, H as in hoebe, O as in oebe, E as in ebe, B as in bee-bee and E as in (In an Australian accent) Ello there mate!
Joey: No thats all right. Dont worry about it.
Rachel: Oh but look! Thats gonna leave a stain!
Joey: Rach! Hey! Its fine! Youre at Joeys!
[The next one is from Episode 224: The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding, Joey has to kiss a guy in an audition and has been trying to find one to practice with.]
[The next one is from Episode 512: The One With Chandlers Work Laugh, Joey and Phoebe are betting on who will reach the treat the fastest, the chick or the duck.]
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you!
[Another group of flashbacks begin with Episode 513: The One With Joeys Bag. Joey is carrying the bag and has entered Central Perk to the amusement of Ross and Chandler.]
(Ross steps onto the bottom rung of the ladder and then steps on Joeys chest.)
(Ross continues to climb down. He puts his other foot further down on Joeys torso, but that doesnt work very well and hes forced to wrap his legs around Joey. Which then forces Joey to get a nice and close view of Rosss crotch.)
[The next one is from Episode 722: The One With Chandlers Dad.]
Joey: Check it out. (He turns around, pulls down his pants, and shows Phoebe that hes got panties on.) How much of a man am I?!
[The next one is from Episode 608: The One With Rosss Teeth, Chandler is accusing Joey of becoming less of a man.]
Joey: No Im not. Why would you say that? Thats just mean.
Joey: Its not what you said. Its the way you said it Oh My God, Im a woman!!!
The Interviewer: So, lets talk about women. Im sure our female readers will be interested to know about your romantic life.
[Another series of flashbacks begins with Episode 413: The One With Rachels Crush, Joey is telling Rachel and Phoebe how he picks up women.]
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
[The next one is from Episode 613: The One With Rachels Sister, Chandler has just opened the door to reveal a woman standing there.]
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
[The final one is from Episode 607: The One Where Phoebe Runs, Joey has been trying to repel Janice and sees its not working to his liking so hes confronting her about the sexual tension.]
The Interviewer: So, thats it. I guess thats all I need. Thank you so much. I think they will be running this in the beginning of next month.
The Interviewer: (returning) Oh wait! I almost forgot. We have to ask everybody this. Other than Days of Our Lives, whats your favorite soap opera?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone is reading Joeys interview.]
Joey: Oh yeah, thats just a little something for my huge gay fan base. (Winks at him.)
Ross: (showing them the page) Here, check it out. Its the first one, too.
Phoebe: I dunno, lets see! So, okay, I dreamt that we were gonna get married, and he left, becuz he had to go fight a fire. And, um, so okay, I went to a night club, and I saw him making out with a girl.
Phoebe: No! No! Its just that he gave me three tickets and there are six of us!
[Scene: Joey and Rachels, Joey is sitting behind a red drum set.]
Phoebe: Ewww! And "Oh no!" Itsthey just want me to be the surrogate. Its her-its her egg and her sperm, and Im-Im just the oven, its totally their bun.
Monica: Oh! (Gets up) Lets see, well if this is the wedding hall then umm (Walks away) youre parents will be at home in Queens.
Phoebe: All right, well I just wanted to say thank you though for diverting Kyles ex.
Rachel: But you did! I mean, lets be honest.
Monica: No, its okay, not only did I get to go out with Chip Matthews, I got to dump Chip Matthews.
Chandler: Okay, so weve established my name, and hit me. But theoretically y'know, I mean say we werent friends, say its a blind date. I show up at your door, and Im like (in a fake voice) Hey, nice to meet, ya. Hey, oh-hey.
Chandler: Well its kinda hard to be friends with Drake because of his busy schedule and the fact that hes not real.
Mrs. Geller: (entering) Hows the hired help?
Rachel: Hes downstairs getting the rest of the stuff out of the cab.
Monica: I dont see him. Hey! Maybe hes in the sugar bowl! (Opens the sugar bowl) Joey? Nope! (Closes the sugar bowl and they both laugh.)
Phoebe: Wow! Oh you can just imagine that this is where (Shes opening and closing the drawers) they kept all the stuff to make their potions.
Phoebe: Okay, so its probably just the Ross thing then.
Joey: Because, Monica, the guys so good, and I really, really want this part.
Cecilia: (walking up) Youre absolutely right they are writing me out of the show. They dont know exactly when its going to happen, but apparently going to be very soon and thats it.
Monica: Joey, please dont do that. I think its best that we just forget about it.
Monica: Well, Ive tried everything. I give up. I guess Im not gonna be the mom who makes the worlds best chocolate cookies. I do make the best duck confit with broccoli rabe. Kids love that right.
[Scene: Ross and Emilys room, the next morning. Ross is now asleep and has his head in Monicas lap and his feet on Chandlers lap. Monica and Chandler are both still awake and depressed.]
Mrs. Geller: Oh thats all right, Im coming back later with your father.
Susan: I know its frightening, but, big picture. The birth part is just one day, and when its over, were all gonna be parents for the rest of our lives.
Mary-Theresa: Its no big deal. Chandler was just kissin me because he thought I was Mary-Angela.
Joey: Yeah, theres this guy from Chicago whos supposed to be the next Martin Scorcese, all right? But then this guys right after him. (Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.) Hello!
Phoebe: Okay. (singing) Jingle bitch screwed me over! Go to hell jingle whore! Go to hell Go to hell. Go to hell-hell-hell. Thats all I have so far.
Chandler: (looking at Joeys feet) Those arent eleven and a half.
Rachel: Phoebe is gonna be Monicas maid of honor!
Ross: Yeah. Yeah. Yes, this place is beautiful. Emilys parents got married here.
Rachel: Well, thats a lot better than Ross trying to kiss me in High School, and saying that he did it because he needed chapstick.
Chandler: I thought maybe you got me porn for Valentines Day.
Monica: Joey, we had a deal. That-thats why youre here! Ive got to fire you!
Chandler: Its gotta be the first one.
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Monica and Phoebe are reading magazines when the phone rings and Phoebe reaches to pick it up]
Phoebe: Yeah. Thats fine. Thats fair. Is it Tag?
Joey: Its the big night! We wanted to wish you good luck!
Phoebe: Sure, yeah. I mean, its Joey. I dont want him to get hurt. Well, I must say, I am on fire! First Chandler, now Joey!
[Scene: Rachels birthday, everyone is presenting their presents to Rachel.]
Ross: Well, Im gonna lie to you Joey, its a possibility.
Chandler: Oh yeah! Okay, lets play again. (He deals out two cards each again.) What do you got?
Joey: Thats okay. Chandlers the one Im mad at.
Monica: Hey Pheebs, hows it going?
Joey: Anyway, it uh look itll just take me a while to get over her, thats all. Im not even sure how to do that, I mean Ive never been in love before so
Ursula: Yeah, its a fine line huh?
Ross: No, its my joke, its mine. You can call them, theyll tell you.
Phoebe: Thats the same month as Halloween. So, um, what kinda things do you like to do at home?
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Ross is bringing Sarah to Joey and Chandlers.]
[Scene: The casting directors office, Joey is there to show off to the director, so to speak.]
Joshua: Hey, heres an idea. Why dont uh, I put the food in the fridge and we can eat it later?
Joey: Well, I think its ridiculous that you havent had sex in three and a half months.
Joey: Yeah! You did! And thats why Im leaving.
Jill: Rachel and I had a really big fight, can I come in? I-I mean I know were not supposed to see each other anymore and Im okay with that, its just that I dont know anybody in the city and I really need somebody to talk to about it.
Monica: I cant do it! (Ross falls into Monicas room)
Phoebe: Well, I think I broke it. But thats all right, heres the number you can call.
Chandler: Oh yknow, Ive been living here a while and Ive never seen whats inside that closet. What is, what is in there?
Joey: I dont care. Phoebes Phoebe. Ursulas... hot!
Doug: Bing my boy, were gonna get you over this. Now heres the plan, grab your coat, were going to a strip club.
Monica: Rosss apartment is nice! How come we don't hang out here more often?
(Treeger leaves, and Joeys dances off.)
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, thats the word I use when I cant remember the real thing.
[Cut to later, Kathy is cutting Chandlers hair.]
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, theres a knock on the door and he opens it to Mona.]
Monica: Its coming from the living room.
Don: Oh, hello. (Shakes Chandlers hand.) Hello. (Shakes Monicas hand.)
Ticket Agent: (looking at her computer terminal) Theres one leaving in thirty minutes.
Rachel: Oh! Its you. (She stops doing the dishes.) Hi.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is reading the newspaper as the phone rings. He lets the machine answer it.]
Chandler: Well the vet seems to think thats shes becoming a rooster. (The rooster crows.) Were getting a second opinion.
Joanna: (from her office) Whos out there?
Monica: Come on! Come on, if we have sex again itll double our chances of getting pregnant. Do you think that closets still available?
Chandler: Honey, its not the bath I enjoy, its the wet, naked lady.
Monica: (sympathetic) Oh. (in a pirates voice) So you made her walk the plank? Aye, matie?
Monica: No, its not bad. Its not bad at all. Its-its really nice.
Joey: Im sorry but weve got to get rid of all this girlie stuff in here. I, uh, I got to be a man! Okay. The living room has to remain a guy place, okay? Thats just the way it has to be.
Ross: No, I cant. I would, I really would, but my son is here; I cant leave him. Isntyou dont think theres any way?
Joey: Forget about it. Its no big deal.
Ross: Pheebs, if you dont tell him, soon hes gonna be married, and then youre gonna hate yourself.
(Theres applause as Helena turns around and its Kathleen Turner.)
Ross: Its no surprise that your winning, cause you got to pick first, so you got the better team.
Emily: Well thats ambitious.
Rachel: Oh, little Xs! Great! That makes up for everything!
Rachel: All right, cut, lets pick again, pick again.
Rachel: Yeah, honey, maybe you can talk to somebody whos had a baby. Like your mom?
Phoebe: Its hard to believe that just a little while ago this was nothing but ingredients.
Ross: Hey! Hey! Come on! You can! I know you can do this! Lets go!
Monica: You went to one where you were popular, and you got to ride off Chips motorcycle, and wear his letterman jacket. I went to one where I wore a band uniform they had to have specially made.
Ross: Okay, okay, fine, youre right. Lets ah, lets take a break, (goes to the door) lets cool off, okay, lets get some frozen yogart, or something.. (opens the door)
Phoebe: (running after her) Rach, its gonna be okay! (To Ross and Joey) You guys are the best!
(Theres a knock on the door and Ross enters.)
Chandler: Cheese, its smelly. You must smell a lot of the time too.
Rachel: Yes! Shes gonna help us take care of the baby! Woo-hoo. (Sees that Ross isnt happy.)
Rachel: Theres not gonna be a wedding. Ross and I are not getting married.
Chandler: Oh, well, ah... maybe thats because theyre ah... jealous, of us.
Chandler: Okay, lets play! The big game, Italy vs. China, apparently.
Monica: Good? Didn�t you hear them...I was great! Thank you so much for making me do this. That�s is the best gift ever.
Mr. Kaplan: Well, dont think I havent noticed your potential. Well, Ive got a project for you thats a lot more related to fashion. How does that sound?
Phoebe: I know! Monicas gonna have a baby! Hey, can this count as her something new?
Conan: I-I heard some of you guys talking about this earlier, but sometimes theres just a word that someone has to say that youll get hung up on. And itll justthe way you say the word is funny to everybody else.
[Scene: Mrs. Verhoevens Apartment, Ross is back to inquire about the elder Verhoevens health or lack there of.]
Ross: Cause I know what youre trying to pull here. Okay? Its not gonna work.