words in movies
Joey: (reading) Three down, Days Of Our Lives star blank Tribbiani. Thats me!! Im blank!!
Monica: Three down knows Im married, whats three down doin?
Rachel: So did they call you to tell you your names gonna be in this?
Mike: This is the first time hes ever used this product, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. (To Kevin) Go ahead. ('Kevin' starts using the product, it is a spout that you jab into a paper milk carton so that you don't have to rip it open.) This works with any milk carton.
[The next one is from Episode 322: The One With The Screamer, its the end of Joeys play.]
[The next one is from Episode 204: The One With Phoebes Husband, when everyone including Julie is watching Joey in his porno.]
Joey: Well, there are so many things, its hard to pick just one.
[This starts another series of flashbacks about Joeys hobbies. The first one is from Episode 703: The One With Phoebes Cookies, Rachel is teaching Joey how to sail his boat, the Mr. Bowmont.]
Joey: (drinking a beer) Look at this clown! Just because hes got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. (Yelling) Get out of the way jackass! (To Rachel) Who names their boat Coast Guard anyway?
Joey: What are they doing out here? The coasts all the way over there. (Points to the coast.)
[The next one is from Episode 603: The One With Rosss Denial, Joey is amazing Phoebe and Monica by holding his breath.]
(We see Joey who has puffed up his cheeks and Chandler nonchalantly reaches down and pinches Joeys nose shut. In a few seconds, Joey has to move because hes now forced to actually hold his breath.)
Joey: Thats kinda nice.
Chandler: Yeah, thats kinda a relief.
Chandler: Whats wrong with you?
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.) Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Rachel: Its a trifle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch. [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] Then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef saut�ed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
[Time lapse, Ross and Joey are eating Rachels disaster.]
Joey: Whats not to like? Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Goooooood.
[The next one is from Episode 619: The One With Joeys Fridge.]
Chandler: Thats still in there?!
Rachel: Oh! Yay! Look! Theres a piece that doesnt have floor on it!
Joey: It was so stupid, I said some stuff in an interview that I shouldnt have said. But believe me, thats not gonna happen today.
Joey: You guys, this is Shelley, shes interviewing me for Soap Opera Digest, and Shelley, this are my friends
Rachel: (interrupting him) Hi! Im gal pal Rachel Green, and if you want the dirt, Im the one you come too. This might be Joeys baby (rubbing her stomach), who knows? Im just kiddingSeriously, (leans into the cassette recorder Shelley is using) gal pal Rachel Green.
The Interviewer: (returning) So, as Joeys friends, is there anything that you guys think our readers ought to know?
Rachel: (scoffs at him) Yeah, thats gonna get you into Soap Opera Digest. Well I (leans into the microphone again) I would just like to say that Joey truly has enriched the days of our lives.
The Interviewer: Oh! I like that. Whats your name?
Phoebe: Oh okay, its P as in Phoebe, H as in hoebe, O as in oebe, E as in ebe, B as in bee-bee and E as in (In an Australian accent) Ello there mate!
Joey: No thats all right. Dont worry about it.
Rachel: Oh but look! Thats gonna leave a stain!
Joey: Rach! Hey! Its fine! Youre at Joeys!
[The next one is from Episode 224: The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding, Joey has to kiss a guy in an audition and has been trying to find one to practice with.]
[The next one is from Episode 512: The One With Chandlers Work Laugh, Joey and Phoebe are betting on who will reach the treat the fastest, the chick or the duck.]
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you!
[Another group of flashbacks begin with Episode 513: The One With Joeys Bag. Joey is carrying the bag and has entered Central Perk to the amusement of Ross and Chandler.]
(Ross steps onto the bottom rung of the ladder and then steps on Joeys chest.)
(Ross continues to climb down. He puts his other foot further down on Joeys torso, but that doesnt work very well and hes forced to wrap his legs around Joey. Which then forces Joey to get a nice and close view of Rosss crotch.)
[The next one is from Episode 722: The One With Chandlers Dad.]
Joey: Check it out. (He turns around, pulls down his pants, and shows Phoebe that hes got panties on.) How much of a man am I?!
[The next one is from Episode 608: The One With Rosss Teeth, Chandler is accusing Joey of becoming less of a man.]
Joey: No Im not. Why would you say that? Thats just mean.
Joey: Its not what you said. Its the way you said it Oh My God, Im a woman!!!
The Interviewer: So, lets talk about women. Im sure our female readers will be interested to know about your romantic life.
[Another series of flashbacks begins with Episode 413: The One With Rachels Crush, Joey is telling Rachel and Phoebe how he picks up women.]
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
[The next one is from Episode 613: The One With Rachels Sister, Chandler has just opened the door to reveal a woman standing there.]
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
[The final one is from Episode 607: The One Where Phoebe Runs, Joey has been trying to repel Janice and sees its not working to his liking so hes confronting her about the sexual tension.]
The Interviewer: So, thats it. I guess thats all I need. Thank you so much. I think they will be running this in the beginning of next month.
The Interviewer: (returning) Oh wait! I almost forgot. We have to ask everybody this. Other than Days of Our Lives, whats your favorite soap opera?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone is reading Joeys interview.]
Joey: Oh yeah, thats just a little something for my huge gay fan base. (Winks at him.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are admiring Monicas wedding dress.]
(Phoebe throws another jab, and lands it on Joeys nose, causing it to bleed.)
Monica: Well, I�ll tell you what we�re gonna do: We are already late for Phoebe�s birthday dinner, so you point out put out that cigarette, we�re gonna put this fight on hold and go have sex.
Joey: Come on! Look just-just telllet her know that you really want them to be there. Lets not forget, this is a woman that has sent you many lasagnas over the years.
Chandler: I thought I broke Joeys chair! Thats why I replaced it with mine!
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, Ross is on the phone, as Phoebe is walking by carrying a lamp.]
Joey: Ten. Okay. Now Tag theres such a thing as to many women.
Rachel: Oh wow. Thatyknow what? That is so unfair. Yknow what? Now I want to steal your thunder! Come on Ross, lets go have sex!
Monica: Its gotta be one of a kind. Yknow like umm, yknow uh, whats that God awful ceramic fruit bowl she has on her counter?
Monica: Hes gonna eat the cake!
Monica: Oh, Rach! Rach! Umm hey, could you do me a favor and would talk to Chandlers dad and try to keep him away from Chandlers mom?
Elizabeth: Its a bathing suit?
Tag: Whats up?
Rachel: Yeah, Im doing okay. Im um lets talk.
Ross: Whats the matter? You okay?
Rachel: Yeah, its just yknow
Chandler: Thats great!
Ross: Its ridiculous!
Ross: But-but, if you dont love this, well do it in any other place at any other time. Really, its fine, whatever you want.
Rachel: Umm Pheebs, remember when we were in the coffee house we decided that I was going to keep the uh, the cute guys cell phone?
Chandler: Whoa-whoa-whoa! You broke Joeys chair?
Joey: Oh-oh! (Shows him whats on the back, "Best Man Joey Tribbiani, with a huge picture of him.)
Monica: It sounds like its coming from across the street.
Chandler: (To Monica) Shes not as pretty as she was when she was 29.
(The cute guys phone rings.)
Phoebe: What?! Thats the first time today!
The Porsche Owner: Hey! Thats my car.
Tag: Come on, lets have some fun. Huh? (To Rachel) What do you want to do today?
Joey: Oh thats great! Oh thank you so much!
Kathy: (on phone) Hey. (listens) Oh no its fine, dont worry about it. (listens) Yeah-no, stop apologizing, its okay. (listens) Yeah! Ill talk to you tomorrow. (hangs up) (to Chandler) I should uh, probably go.
Phoebe: Yes, while I was in the chair! Thats why I take such good care of my teeth now, y'know, its not about oral hygiene, I floss to save lives!
Cecilia: But Well now, nows a different time for me. (Starts to cry.)
Phoebe: Because its my apartment!
Tom: No thats my assistant.
Joey: Yeah-yeah, I noticed that! Is that cause shes so passionate?
Rachel: (screaming) MONICA!!!! MONICA!!!! (Runs to Monicas.)
Cecilia: Well, its nice to know that you
Joey: They sent me todays script! They never send the script!
Phoebe: I dont know. I-I think its still gonna be a while.
Richard: Uh, no! No! Thats art! If it bothers you I can put my art out.
Monica: Oh my God! A friend hes looking at differently, but its wrong. Its Rachel!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to move Joeys chair and not having much luck at it as Joey enters.]
Ross: Whats the matter?
Monica: Honey, theres a reason.
Chandler: Yeah lets head off to work.
Rachel: Oo! Whens her birthday?!
Ben: Whats a virgin?
Kate: Look umm, I, I was, I was just caught up in the moment. Thats all it was. Joey, Im-Im sorry you feel bad, but havent you ever sleep with a women where it meant more to her than it did to you?
Ben: (laughs) Thats a good one.
The Woman From Poughkeepsie: (outside Rosss window) Ross? Ross! (she knocks on the window) Wake up! Ross! (the train starts moving) Ross! Ross!! Ross!!! Ross!!!!
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
Joey: Yeah, its this great part, this boxer named Nick. And Im so, so right for it, y'know, hes just like me. Except hes a boxer, and has an evil twin.
Monica: Joey look its really sweet
Chandler: Okay, well tonights the big night.
Chandler: Yknow its funny I started it but, now its scary me. So could you come out here please?
Monica: Yknow, lets face it, Im not a kid anymore! I-I need to be with someone who-who wants the same things that I do! I mean coming to my place of work and telling me that you love me, I want that! Talking about pig sex over lunch, I dont want that!
Monica: Emily has probably been planning it since she was five! Ever since the first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. Thats what we did! We dreamed about the perfect wedding, and the perfect place, with the perfect four-tiered wedding cake (Starting to cry), with the little people on top. (Ross gets thrown a box of Kleenex from the bathroom and he gives her one.) Thanks. But the most important part is that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that other stuff was.
Ross: Yes! My babys finally free!
Rachel: I know! I know, its such a huge, life-altering thing.
Chandler: Oh you got a wedding dress? Thats great!
Monica: I thought I was making headway, everyone was smiling at me all day, I get off work and I find out that they wrote this (puts on her chef hat) on my chefs hat. (The hat says Quit, bitch)
Rachel: Whoa-whoa, theres two living rooms? God, growing up here, this place mustve been a real babe magnet.
Rachel: (Reading) Dear losers, do you really think Id hide presents under the couch? P.S. Chandler, I knew theyd break you.
Dina: Im going to keep dating him Mother, and theres nothing you can do about it!
Ross: Oh! Oh my God oh! Oh my God shes here.
[Scene: Earls Office, Earl has his head in his hands as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Really? Theres nothing sexual about this? (Sexily) Oooh. Oo God! Ohh. Ohhhh. Ohh. (Some cute guy is watching closely.) (To him) What are you looking at?! (Pause) I mean hi.
Monica: All right? Whats going on?
Rachel: Uhh, because Im trying to play hard to get. Oh, quick hes looking over here, say something funny.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know. Its a real mustard-tastrophe. Can you help me?
Joey: No its not weird, its a miracle!
Morse: Thats not so good.
(He goes into another room to get his projector and notes. While hes gone, Jill quickly checks her makeup.
Monica: Thats okay, this is more important than fruit (pause) (angrily) on my ceiling! You broke up?!
Monica: Really? (Looks.) My God, hes really cute.
Joey: I guess it couldve been, I didnt really look at it. Yknow, I just wiped it on Chandlers coat and got the hell out of there.
Phoebe: Hes alive! Hes a-live!!!
Rachel: Ohh thats great!
Ross: Lets also get a hot plate!
Rachel: Its just so frustrating! Why doesnt she want my breast?!
Joey: Hey Monica! (Grabs her and pulls her into the living room.) People came to see a fight, lets give em what they came for!
Joey: (opening an envelope) Theres like-theres like 300 bucks in this one!
Ross: Theres this kid in my class who said hes in love with me.
Elizabeth: Ohh, I wouldnt do it in there. Thats my dads bedroom.
Rachel: (starting to move closer to him) Thats right, I wanna do it with you! Ive been trying to fight it, but you just said all the right things.
[Cut to Joey and Rachels table.]
Ross: The Armadillo was actually not so thrilled about that part! Okay Ben, its time to light the Hanukkah candles! (Santa, Superman, Monica, Ben, and the Holiday Armadillo go over to the menorah to light the candles.)
Monica: Its Hexadrin.
Monica: Oh my God! Thats Pete! But why is Bill huggin Pete?
Monica: No, its more like a (sarcastically) good luck.
Rachel: Yeah thats great. But first, wait, talk to me, talk to me. Tell me about your day.
Monica: Thats sounds great, but how are you going to afford it?
Rachel: Okay! Okay wait! You listen to me! You listen to me! Since I have been waiting four women, thats four, one higher than the number of centimeters that I am dilated, have come and gone with their babies! Im next! Its my turn! Its only fair! And if you bring in one woman and she has her baby before me Im going to sue you! Not this hospital, Im going to sue you! And my husband (Points at Ross) hes a lawyer!
Joey: Well, hes not used to women being so forward with him; but uh, I good check with himHe says its okay. (She hands him her card.) Great! Thanks! Bye-bye!
Monica: See? Thats what I mean. I mean that, thats great! But I wouldnt trade in what I have for that. I mean Im gonna be with Chandler for the rest of my life, and thats what makes me happy. (Chandler approaches.) Hey sweetie, come here! Come sit down. Hey Phoebe and I were just talking about how our relationship is deep and meaningful. It really is dont you think?
Lewis: Hes got a girlfriend!
Rachel: Well, Valentines Day was like two weeks ago, so I wouldnt get her a calendar!
[Scene: Rachels Office, shes at her desk while the mailman delivers her mail and calls Tag in.]
Monica: I do! Im a professional chef! (The class gasps.) Oh relax! Its not a courtroom drama!
[Scene: Rachels hotel room, shes waking up with a horrendous hangover.]