words in movies
Joey: (reading) Three down, Days Of Our Lives star blank Tribbiani. Thats me!! Im blank!!
Monica: Three down knows Im married, whats three down doin?
Rachel: So did they call you to tell you your names gonna be in this?
Mike: This is the first time hes ever used this product, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. (To Kevin) Go ahead. ('Kevin' starts using the product, it is a spout that you jab into a paper milk carton so that you don't have to rip it open.) This works with any milk carton.
[The next one is from Episode 322: The One With The Screamer, its the end of Joeys play.]
[The next one is from Episode 204: The One With Phoebes Husband, when everyone including Julie is watching Joey in his porno.]
Joey: Well, there are so many things, its hard to pick just one.
[This starts another series of flashbacks about Joeys hobbies. The first one is from Episode 703: The One With Phoebes Cookies, Rachel is teaching Joey how to sail his boat, the Mr. Bowmont.]
Joey: (drinking a beer) Look at this clown! Just because hes got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. (Yelling) Get out of the way jackass! (To Rachel) Who names their boat Coast Guard anyway?
Joey: What are they doing out here? The coasts all the way over there. (Points to the coast.)
[The next one is from Episode 603: The One With Rosss Denial, Joey is amazing Phoebe and Monica by holding his breath.]
(We see Joey who has puffed up his cheeks and Chandler nonchalantly reaches down and pinches Joeys nose shut. In a few seconds, Joey has to move because hes now forced to actually hold his breath.)
Joey: Thats kinda nice.
Chandler: Yeah, thats kinda a relief.
Chandler: Whats wrong with you?
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.) Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Rachel: Its a trifle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch. [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] Then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef saut�ed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
[Time lapse, Ross and Joey are eating Rachels disaster.]
Joey: Whats not to like? Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Goooooood.
[The next one is from Episode 619: The One With Joeys Fridge.]
Chandler: Thats still in there?!
Rachel: Oh! Yay! Look! Theres a piece that doesnt have floor on it!
Joey: It was so stupid, I said some stuff in an interview that I shouldnt have said. But believe me, thats not gonna happen today.
Joey: You guys, this is Shelley, shes interviewing me for Soap Opera Digest, and Shelley, this are my friends
Rachel: (interrupting him) Hi! Im gal pal Rachel Green, and if you want the dirt, Im the one you come too. This might be Joeys baby (rubbing her stomach), who knows? Im just kiddingSeriously, (leans into the cassette recorder Shelley is using) gal pal Rachel Green.
The Interviewer: (returning) So, as Joeys friends, is there anything that you guys think our readers ought to know?
Rachel: (scoffs at him) Yeah, thats gonna get you into Soap Opera Digest. Well I (leans into the microphone again) I would just like to say that Joey truly has enriched the days of our lives.
The Interviewer: Oh! I like that. Whats your name?
Phoebe: Oh okay, its P as in Phoebe, H as in hoebe, O as in oebe, E as in ebe, B as in bee-bee and E as in (In an Australian accent) Ello there mate!
Joey: No thats all right. Dont worry about it.
Rachel: Oh but look! Thats gonna leave a stain!
Joey: Rach! Hey! Its fine! Youre at Joeys!
[The next one is from Episode 224: The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding, Joey has to kiss a guy in an audition and has been trying to find one to practice with.]
[The next one is from Episode 512: The One With Chandlers Work Laugh, Joey and Phoebe are betting on who will reach the treat the fastest, the chick or the duck.]
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you!
[Another group of flashbacks begin with Episode 513: The One With Joeys Bag. Joey is carrying the bag and has entered Central Perk to the amusement of Ross and Chandler.]
(Ross steps onto the bottom rung of the ladder and then steps on Joeys chest.)
(Ross continues to climb down. He puts his other foot further down on Joeys torso, but that doesnt work very well and hes forced to wrap his legs around Joey. Which then forces Joey to get a nice and close view of Rosss crotch.)
[The next one is from Episode 722: The One With Chandlers Dad.]
Joey: Check it out. (He turns around, pulls down his pants, and shows Phoebe that hes got panties on.) How much of a man am I?!
[The next one is from Episode 608: The One With Rosss Teeth, Chandler is accusing Joey of becoming less of a man.]
Joey: No Im not. Why would you say that? Thats just mean.
Joey: Its not what you said. Its the way you said it Oh My God, Im a woman!!!
The Interviewer: So, lets talk about women. Im sure our female readers will be interested to know about your romantic life.
[Another series of flashbacks begins with Episode 413: The One With Rachels Crush, Joey is telling Rachel and Phoebe how he picks up women.]
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
[The next one is from Episode 613: The One With Rachels Sister, Chandler has just opened the door to reveal a woman standing there.]
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
[The final one is from Episode 607: The One Where Phoebe Runs, Joey has been trying to repel Janice and sees its not working to his liking so hes confronting her about the sexual tension.]
The Interviewer: So, thats it. I guess thats all I need. Thank you so much. I think they will be running this in the beginning of next month.
The Interviewer: (returning) Oh wait! I almost forgot. We have to ask everybody this. Other than Days of Our Lives, whats your favorite soap opera?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone is reading Joeys interview.]
Joey: Oh yeah, thats just a little something for my huge gay fan base. (Winks at him.)
Dr. Green: Whats TiVo?
Dr. Green: Thats true.
Burt: Theyre gonna fire you! You cant date a student! Its against the rules.
Ross: Ah, its good. Its going good. I mean, we get along great. Shes, shes so
Chandler: Shes okay with Rachel and the baby?
Chandler: Honey! Thats crazy! I dont want you to get me a stripper
Phoebe: Youre just saying that because youre my biggest fan. (The fan leaves and Joey approaches.) (To Joey) Joey listen, take good care of that guy, okay? (Points) Hes a fan. (To the fan as shes leaving) Bye! (Exits)
Rachel: It’s a standard issue bra clasp!
Chandler: Thats me.
Chandler: So shes a
Monica: Wow! Wow! And its definitely all gone? Theres nothing there to work with? (Joey glares at her.) What were you thinking?
Phoebe: Oh my God!!! Monica!! Hes the stripper from your bachelorette party!!
Joey: Uh, that-thats-thats me!
(Theres a knock on the door.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Mr. Treeger has finished inspecting Monica and Chandlers apartment.]
Joey: Its a grand tradition!
Monica: Yeah! Hey! Thanks for getting me that girls number.
Chandler: Its not just that shes cute, okay. Its just that... shes really really cute.
Joey: Not like we used to. Remember? You and me used to be inseparable. Yknow now its like things are different.
Stu: No, shes a hooker.
Rachel: Well, lets see. Uh, they gave me cute doctor today and in the middle of the exam I put my pinky in his chin dimple.
Chandler: I can see it now, "Look dad, its the Sphinx!" (Does that party noise again.)
Chandler: Its Paris, who knows were here!
Joshua: Yeah, its-its my only weird thing, I swear. And I-I-I wouldve told you about it, but I didnt know they would be here.
Phoebe: No they ran out of "Its a girl" but I can fix this one, (She writes "not" in between its and a) See?
Rachel: Oh thats nice.
Joey: I didnt look at it. Stupid babys head was blocking most of it.
Chandler: Isnt that what happened with you and the brides maid?
(Theres a knock on the door and a handsome man enters.)
Rachel: (To Phoebe, after Monicas gone) We have to get her a present?!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is sitting in Joeys lap on Francette, and theyre both groaning.]
Will: Its good to see you man.
Monica: (closing the door) Its unbelievable! I-I cant believe that sign didnt work!
Rachel: No, its all right. I got nice boobs. (Phoebe and Monica nod there heads in agreement.)
Rachel: Joey stop staring! Theres nothing there! Its not true!
Rachel: Oh, well, actually we were just talking about me not going to Rosss wedding.
Joey: R-R-Richard said he wants to marry you?! (Monica nods yes.) And-and Chandlers tellin ya how much he hates marriage?!
Rachel: Well thats gross, why dont you just take it outside and throw it in a dumpster?
Phoebe: Okay, I didnt understand that, but yknow, maybe thats cause you were speaking the secret language of love!
Monica: Its true?!!
Monica: Thats not totally true.
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Thats so sweet. (Takes the flowers.) Would you like to come in and say good-bye? Im sure it would mean a lot to her.
Joey: Ooh, its probably a residual check, hey can you open it for me, Im kinda .
Rachel: Shes right.
Ross: O-okay, Rach calm-calm down, okay? She-shes really upset were just talking.
Chandler: Yeah, I know, but all of those little annoying things she did before we fell in love? Like her voice, her laugh, her personalityWell, theyre all back! Yknow? And shes picked up like nine new ones!
Rachel: (pause) Hes talking to the baby.
Ross: Okay, break-ups still on!
(Theres a pause as Ross gets suddenly flirtatious.)
Paul: Yeah Ross its okay, its me, Mr. Stevens.
Joey: I dont know. I guess theres just always been this distance yknowI mean we both try to pretend its not there, but it is.
Ross: Look Phoebe, Im sorry its just
Chandler: (opening the door) Whats wrong?
Chandler: Ladies, ladies, lets just compromise okay? Phoebe, Rachel take off Monicas bra.
Chandler: Well, maybe since the age of 9, Frannies made some new friends.
Monica: Yknow, maybe its best that we never got to do it again.
Rachel: Joey theres something that you should know. Dina?
[Scene: Rachels Office, Joey has brought Dina to meet with Rachel.]
Phoebe: Yes! Yes you can, Im looking for Jacks parents.
Ross: Yeah but Pottery Barn! Yknow what I think? Its just she-shes weird. Yknow its because shes a twin. Twins are weird.
Ross: Playpen?! Bens seven!
Ross: Well, thats what Im here for. (Emma starts crying again) Want me to get that?
Rachel: Okay, so lets play for some pepper! Stop spending my money!
Chandler: Whats going on?
Lewis: I know! Its awful. I love you.
Jack: That’s true! This message could becoming to you from beyond the grave, Emma!
Monica: Yknow, I really have to tell Rachel, but I We just have to get it over with! Yknow, the next time we see them were just gonna tell them. Okay? Thats it.
Chandler: Hes at a dinner party.
(Brenda pulls a chair to the counter and uses it to get up on the counter in order to clean the top of the cabinets. Monica sneaks over, bends over, and tries to see the stain. That doesnt work so she sticks her head between Brendas legs. Suddenly Brenda changes her stance and traps Monicas head between her legs.)
Rachel: No! Seriously! Whats wrong with you?!
The Teacher: Right. Are you looking for Jacks parents to discuss the problems hes having with Ben? (Phoebe nods Yes.) Yeah. Because I really do think the parents should sit down and have a conversation.
Rachel: Wow! This explains so much! Last weekend, I went from store to store sitting on Santas lap.
Phoebe: Yeah. Yeah, thats what you need a good pill.
Phoebe: Ooh! Thats good! Wow! But now if you were pregnant, what would you name it? Hint: Phoebe.
Monica: No. No. Not it. Not it. Not it. (Checks another rack and another woman tries to reach around her.) (To the woman) Dont crowd me! (Finds it) This is it! This is the dress! Oh my God, its perfect! (She takes it off of the rack and someone has a hold of it on the other side of the rack and tugs on it.) Im sorry, this ones taken! (The other woman tugs harder pulling Monica through the rack.) Whoa!
Monica: Shes my favorite character on DOOL.
[Time Lapse, Paul is now weeping uncontrollably in Rachels arms.]
Ross: Pheebs come on! I mean, consider the source! Of course her ex-husbands gonna say that stuff. Now, if youll excuse me
Ross: Lets do the card!
Ross: Thats not what this is about okay? I-I am a sports car enthusiast. I have always been into cars.
Phoebe: Okay, a meat eater. Fine, thats one for you.
Doug: Whats going on Bing? Does uh, your wife have a problem with me or something?
Chandler: Oh uh well tomorrows no good for her either.
Stu: No problem. So whos the party for?
Rachel: No, no, no, no! Ross, wait! Come on! You know, there’s other stuff. Here’s a nice shirt, look at these nice pants...
Joey: Its no big deal, okay? Phoebe and I talked about it. Its just a crush! Its going to go away! (Looks down) Dude, you gotta rearrange your bubbles! Oh!
Ross: Yeah! Theyre putting together this panel to talk about these fossils they just found in Peru and The Discovery Channels gonna film it!
[Scene: Rachels office, she is coming in for the day carrying a picture for her new office. Mrs. Lynch is coming out of Joannas office, carrying a box.]
Phoebe: Umm, hes here to have sex with you.
Chandler: Okay, uh, how about, how aboutyknow what? We could play a new game. A new game, its fun.
Chandler: Oh thats all right sir, and thats just one girl.
Phoebe: Thats not Ralph Lauren. Sounds like him though.
Rachel: Um, excuse me, everyone. Ah, this is my last night working here, and I ah, just wanted say that I made some really good friends working here, and ah, its just time to move on. (at the counter Gunther starts to cry and runs into the back room) Ah, and no offence to everybody who ah, still works here, you have no idea how good it feels to say that as of this moment I will never have to make coffee again.
Joey: Oh, whats wrong?
Rachel: Its just the pizza place.
Phoebe: Oh, its the compulsively neat one by the window, okay.
Rachel: Thats the end of this conversation!
Ross: Mm-hmm. Shesshes emotional, but, but ballsy.
[Cut to Joey and Janines, theyre entering.]
Anxious Wedding Guest: (rushing up) Thats my car!