words in movies
Monica: (depressed) Thats right. Im no longer a bride. Ill never be a bride again. Now, Im just someones wife!
Monica: Thats not til Thursday.
Monica: Thats true! (Happily) I knew I married you for a reason!
Front Desk Clerk: (To Monica) Heres a copy of your bill.
Joey: Yeah, thats sad. Mashuga nut?
[Scene: Rosss Hotel Room, he is letting Chandler in.]
Ross: Why not? Its built into the price of the room.
Chandler: So? What? What? Theyre gone! Monicas gonna freak!
Phoebe: Well I guess its okay to open one more if its part of a set. Yknow, its probably this one. (Grabs another small one.)
Monica: No! Joey and Ross dont know anything and Chandler still thinks that Phoebes pregnant.
Phoebe: Yeah thats right Chandler does still think Im pregnant. He hasnt asked me how Im feeling or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. (Monica looks at her.) After you of course.
Phoebe: What?! I think hes cute.
Monica: Wow. Yknow it is so weird. I mean, youre gonna tell this guy today and he has no idea whats gonna happen.
Phoebe: Pretty big? Its huge! God, this guy doesnt have a clue! Hes just walking down the street thinking, I had sex with Rachel Green. I rock! then bam! Hes a father and everythings different.
Rachel: Well its only different if he wants it to be. I mean, Im not gonna ask him for anything.
Phoebe: Okay. Then he still has this huge decision to make. Now hes walking around thinking, Do I want to be a dad? and then bam!
Phoebe: I dont. He got he-he-he-hes hit by a bus.
Rachel: Oh Joey! Joey! No, its not you! You didnt get anybody pregnant!
Phoebe: Oh yeah. Thats me.
Joey: Whoa, wait a minute. Whos the father?
Phoebe: You dont know him. Its not important. He wants nothing to do with me or the baby. (She sits down like shes pregnant.)
Monica: Whos David Lynn?
Chandler: Yes! And thats why Im under the table. Celebrating.
Ross: Well I checked in the uh, lost and found, I talked to the manager, no-ones turned them.
Chandler: Well this is great. Yknow, those cameras were the only thing that was gonna cheer Monica up today, shes really depressed.
Ross: Im sorry man. (Formally dressed people start to enter.) Heres a thought. This is the same ballroom. Theres a band. Theres gonna be plenty of dressed up people.
Ross: No-no-no, Im saying we-we buy more of this (disposable cameras) at the gift shop, throw our tuxes back on, and take a few pictures. All we have to do is make sure not to get anybody elses faces.
Rachel: No! Phoebe, its not Gunther.
Phoebe: Youre thinking about this way too much. Just tell him and get it over with. Its like, its like ripping off this Band-Aid. (On her arm) Quick and painless, watch. (Rips it off.) Oh mother of See?
Phoebe: All right. (She sits down like shes pregnant again.)
Joey: Umm, now uh Its a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. Yknow, now I always thought you and I had a special bond so (He goes to one knee and pulls out a ring.) Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
Phoebe: Hey lady, your days over! Its my turn!
Monica: Shes not pregnant. Its Rachel. Rachels the one whos pregnant.
Phoebe: Its Joey! (Joey turns and looks at her and she mouths I love you to him.)
Joey: (smiles then stops) Now I cant believe it! What? Rachels pregnant? (The girls nod yes.) Whos the father?
Monica: Theres a dude?
Phoebe: (gasps) Oh my God! I know who the father is (She walks into Monica and Chandlers.)
Rachel: Oh God Oh, hes in there right now?
Rachel: Uh, lets rip!
Anxious Wedding Guest: (rushing up) Thats my car!
Tag: So, whats this about?
Tag: Whats going on Rach?
Rachel: Oh, its just not the right time.
Tag: Come on Rach, lets give it another try.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Obsessive Monica has finished opening all the presents. Shes ashamed of this, at least, because as someone enters ]
Joey: Oh hey! You got my parents gift! (Holds it up.)
Joey: Listen I uh (He takes her hand.) Its a scary world out there especially if youre a single mom. Yknow, I always felt like you and I have this-this special bond. Yknow? So, (gets down on one knee again) Rachel Green will you marry me?
Monica: Great! Were hangin in the kitchen! (She drags him into the kitchen and turns his back to the living room) Lets stay in the kitchen!
Chandler: Its picture time.
Chandler: (showing her the pictures) Heres a picture of Ross. (Shows another one.) And thats me. (Another one.) And thats me and Ross. (Another one.) Oh-ho, that is a picture of our first kiss as a married couple.
Chandler: Okay, so this isnt a picture of our first, but it is a picture of my first kiss with with this lady. Which by the look on your face Im sure youll remember. So we dont need(Rips the picture)Theres no need to have this picture. How about I take the real pictures and get them developed right now.
Phoebe: Wait you stole those from these peoples wedding?
Tag: Oh, its crazy about Rachel huh?
Ross: Yeah. SheWell, shes one crazy lady?
Joey: Yeah, I dont think thats what it is.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is setting a romantic dinner for Susan as there is a knock on the door.]
Rachel: Relax! Its not like its Citizen Kane!
[Scene: The Hallway Outside Rosss Apartment, Ross is walking towards his apartment and sees Rachel sitting in front of the door.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! Monicas just gonna kill you.
Ross: Yeah. Wait a minute. What are you doing here? Joey Tribbiani without a date on Valentines Day? Whats going on, huh? Girl trouble?
Rachel: Yknow what? Lets, lets talk later.
Kathy: Yeah, I do. Of course, I learned at my aunts dog grooming shop, but hey, what do you say?
[Scene: Rachels old room, Ross and Joey enter.]
Monica: Now everybody knows the basic erogenous zones. (She starts labelling them) You got one, two three, four (Chandler is shocked to find out theres more than three), five, six, and seven!
Ross: Fine, yknow what, thats it. From now on, Joey, I want you to be my best man.
(Chandler and Monica both turn, take the rings from Ross and Rachel respectively, and place them on each others fingers.)
Phoebe: Well at Monicas you can eat(Suddenly cracks up.)
Ross: Come on, you-you cant tell me you actually believe that-that theres a woman inside that cat!
Dr. Stryker Remoray: Good morning. (He walks over to the bed, leans down, and whispers to him.) Drake, its your brother Stryker. Can you hear me?
Ross: No, because thats the right thing to do.
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Chandler enters. Ross is putting on makeup.]
Joey: (seriously) Yes, its a highly controversial procedure.
Ross: Sweetie thats it.
Ross: Yeah, thats our baby.
(Rachel whispers in Joeys ear.)
The Director: All right, its time to act, my talking props. (Both Joey and Kate just look at each other.)
Monica: Wait a minute, she isnt Shes not the one who you
Joey: Hey! I did not cry my eyes out!! Come on! Its like the end of an era! No more J-man and Channies!!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, the gang is watching Joeys debut on Days.]
Phoebe: Monica! Thats not right! Start with where.
Ross: Theres the one!
Monica: Mom�s here? I wanted to have lunch with her today, she told me she was out of town.
Chandler: Lets call em.
Ross: I can show you, I have it on videotape! (Stunned silence) Its an expression.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica has hit a writers block as Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
Joey: (sees hes watching Baywatch) Ohhh. (sees he still has the chick) Ahh! What are you doing?! I thought you were gonna take her back to the store today.
Joey: Six months? Whoa thats rough.
Rachel: Hey! Hey-hey, now this was no ones fault Pheebs. Okay? It was an accident.
Rachel: What, because thats your answer to everything?
Rachel: Well yeah, I wish that you would. (He opens the top drawer.) Well, no its not in there! (Closes it.) How about that drawer? (She points to the bottom one and he opens it. She doesnt see the folder she planted and bends over to check.)
Ross: Thats less embarrassing, yes. Yes I was.
Rachel: Well now its an empty bar.
Monica: Thats a good idea! Wait, do you know how to waiter?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is being yelled at by her dad over the phone, and hes been going on for so long Rachel is holding the phone away from her ear and reading a book.]
Janine: Are you guys going to Chandlers for Thanksgiving?
Monica: (taking Rachels hand) Sweetie okay. Its okay. Everybody made it to the wedding. Im fine.
[Cut to Monica and Chandlers just after Monica has finished telling Chandler what happened.]
(A woman walks by and smiles at Rosss hair.)
Phoebe: Well, how about a compromise then, okay? What if its like yknow, Chanoey?
Chandler: Thats the magic story you use when you wanna have sex!
Paul: Whats the matter honey? Did you see a little mouse?
Ross: Oh thats not pretty.
Ross: Are you sure shes in the cat, or have you been taking your grandmas glycoma medicine again?
Mr. Geller: Its the key to my Porsche. Well, the key to your Porsche.
Chandler: Do you think that theres a town in Missouri or some place called Sample? And ah, as youre driving into town theres-theres like a sign, and it says Youre in Sample. (He says it like urine sample.)
Monica: Oh no! I dont know anything about cooking. I had to ask someone what its called when the, when the water makes those little bubbles.
Phoebe: Oh, so you're Monicas boss?
Phoebe: Well, one of you has to take the first step! And it should be you, because shes the one whos leaving. Its harder for her!
Phoebe: Well, its no pesto.
Chandler: Whats funny about that?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is about to debut Hotel Monica (formerly known as Rachels Room) to Phoebe and Rachel.]
Phoebe: Oh. (Picks it up.) Its just so unexpected! I I uh Boy Ill tell you its just such an honor to be nominated for a Nobel Prize and yknow to win one for a massage. Especially after having just won a Tony award for best actress in
Monica: Well maybe Im ready now. I mean, its a little scary, but maybe its right.
Rachel: Well dontWhat happened to Jessicas body?!
Rachel: Oh my God, Monicas gonna go out with a millionaire.
Rachel: Oh! (Motions to Joeys co-star.)
[Scene Joey and Janines new apartment, Janine is there. Joey walks in to see Janine bent over, stretching.]
Phoebe Sr: Oh, I-I-I understand all that, but its justthat was my puppy.
Bob: Hey! Hows my pal Toby doing today?
Joey: Rach look, I really dont think thats such a great
Chandler: I think its best sir.
Joey: Really?! I like your natural color. Come on man, its a great part. Look, check it out. Im the lead guys best friend and I wait for him in this bar and save his seat. Listen-listen. Im sorry, that seats saved.
Monica: Rach, theres something uh, important I have to tell you.
Rachel: (Pause) Yeah, shes gay.
Chandler: Sure, whats up?
Joey: Thats not whipped! Whipped is wh-tcssh!
Phoebe: Okay thats so generous!
Monica: Oh no sweetie, no! This is my fault, I wasnt clear! Im really sorry. And listen, you take as much time as you need to move out okay? Theres absolutely no rush.
[Scene: Rachels Outer Office, Tag and her are arriving.]
Phoebe: Yeah, otherwise, I mean thats, thats, thats just it for us hanging out together. Y'know is that what you want? (they both look away) Can you be civil?
(Theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it.)
Joey: (Checks to see if shes drooling on his shirt.) Okay. Okay, okay, hey. (Lays her down and covers her with a blanket.) There we go, lets get your feet up there. (Looks at her) Good night, Kate. Sweet dreams. (Picks up a garbage can) Im gonna put this can right here in case you have to hurl.
Ross: Hey, if thats what you want to do Im not gonna say no.
Monica: Congratulations, I think youve found the worlds thinnest argument.
Monica: Oh thats right, thats what Id sound like if I exploded.
Helena: Before we go on with the show, I just want to say to the bride and groom how lucky they are to have found each other. In every life, a little rain must fall. Fortunately, in my life (Four guys wearing rubber boots, shorts, hats, and nothing else carrying umbrellas run onto the stage.) (Singing) Its raining men!
Chandler: Thats our phone number. Now look, I know I kinda sprung this whole me moving out on thing, so why dont I justwhy dont I just cover you for a while?
Joey: Maybe Monicas playing a joke on ya. Yknow? Getting her own husband a hooker, thats pretty funny.
Phoebe: (walking back in with her hand over her eyes.) Umm, wheres my purse?
Joey: Look, theres nothing I can do for him right now, hes still in his sweat pants, thats still Phase One. Y'know? Ill be back for Phase Two, I would never miss Phase Two.
Ross: Its not that. Okay? Annulments are more complicated than I
Monica: Oh my God! Ohh! Look at this one! Its so beautiful!
Phoebe: Oh good! (And theres general excitement.)
Ross: Ahh, sorry, nothing you can do about it. Its one of my ah, rights as the ex-boyfriend. (closes his eyes again) Oop, oh yeah!
Phoebe: Wait a second! So, whats new with you?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its 0-Dark:30, in other words its really, really early. Everyones asleep, and all through the apartments not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. That is except for the chick, who turns out to be a rooster and is crowing in the sun. Needless to say, this awakens Monica and Rachel who rush into their living room, searching for the cause of the sound.]
Ross: (laughs) Umm thats thats a little misleading.
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Joey and Monica are arranging flowers. Chandler walks in.]
Phoebe: No, its me. Phoebe!
Ross: Forget it, shes destroying it.
Phoebe: Ursulas fianc�e?
Monica: What?! Theres only been like four kids.
Rachel: Okay, whats your name?
Phoebe: Two weeks? Thats it?