words in movies
Monica: (depressed) Thats right. Im no longer a bride. Ill never be a bride again. Now, Im just someones wife!
Monica: Thats not til Thursday.
Monica: Thats true! (Happily) I knew I married you for a reason!
Front Desk Clerk: (To Monica) Heres a copy of your bill.
Joey: Yeah, thats sad. Mashuga nut?
[Scene: Rosss Hotel Room, he is letting Chandler in.]
Ross: Why not? Its built into the price of the room.
Chandler: So? What? What? Theyre gone! Monicas gonna freak!
Phoebe: Well I guess its okay to open one more if its part of a set. Yknow, its probably this one. (Grabs another small one.)
Monica: No! Joey and Ross dont know anything and Chandler still thinks that Phoebes pregnant.
Phoebe: Yeah thats right Chandler does still think Im pregnant. He hasnt asked me how Im feeling or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. (Monica looks at her.) After you of course.
Phoebe: What?! I think hes cute.
Monica: Wow. Yknow it is so weird. I mean, youre gonna tell this guy today and he has no idea whats gonna happen.
Phoebe: Pretty big? Its huge! God, this guy doesnt have a clue! Hes just walking down the street thinking, I had sex with Rachel Green. I rock! then bam! Hes a father and everythings different.
Rachel: Well its only different if he wants it to be. I mean, Im not gonna ask him for anything.
Phoebe: Okay. Then he still has this huge decision to make. Now hes walking around thinking, Do I want to be a dad? and then bam!
Phoebe: I dont. He got he-he-he-hes hit by a bus.
Rachel: Oh Joey! Joey! No, its not you! You didnt get anybody pregnant!
Phoebe: Oh yeah. Thats me.
Joey: Whoa, wait a minute. Whos the father?
Phoebe: You dont know him. Its not important. He wants nothing to do with me or the baby. (She sits down like shes pregnant.)
Monica: Whos David Lynn?
Chandler: Yes! And thats why Im under the table. Celebrating.
Ross: Well I checked in the uh, lost and found, I talked to the manager, no-ones turned them.
Chandler: Well this is great. Yknow, those cameras were the only thing that was gonna cheer Monica up today, shes really depressed.
Ross: Im sorry man. (Formally dressed people start to enter.) Heres a thought. This is the same ballroom. Theres a band. Theres gonna be plenty of dressed up people.
Ross: No-no-no, Im saying we-we buy more of this (disposable cameras) at the gift shop, throw our tuxes back on, and take a few pictures. All we have to do is make sure not to get anybody elses faces.
Rachel: No! Phoebe, its not Gunther.
Phoebe: Youre thinking about this way too much. Just tell him and get it over with. Its like, its like ripping off this Band-Aid. (On her arm) Quick and painless, watch. (Rips it off.) Oh mother of See?
Phoebe: All right. (She sits down like shes pregnant again.)
Joey: Umm, now uh Its a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. Yknow, now I always thought you and I had a special bond so (He goes to one knee and pulls out a ring.) Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
Phoebe: Hey lady, your days over! Its my turn!
Monica: Shes not pregnant. Its Rachel. Rachels the one whos pregnant.
Phoebe: Its Joey! (Joey turns and looks at her and she mouths I love you to him.)
Joey: (smiles then stops) Now I cant believe it! What? Rachels pregnant? (The girls nod yes.) Whos the father?
Monica: Theres a dude?
Phoebe: (gasps) Oh my God! I know who the father is (She walks into Monica and Chandlers.)
Rachel: Oh God Oh, hes in there right now?
Rachel: Uh, lets rip!
Anxious Wedding Guest: (rushing up) Thats my car!
Tag: So, whats this about?
Tag: Whats going on Rach?
Rachel: Oh, its just not the right time.
Tag: Come on Rach, lets give it another try.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Obsessive Monica has finished opening all the presents. Shes ashamed of this, at least, because as someone enters ]
Joey: Oh hey! You got my parents gift! (Holds it up.)
Joey: Listen I uh (He takes her hand.) Its a scary world out there especially if youre a single mom. Yknow, I always felt like you and I have this-this special bond. Yknow? So, (gets down on one knee again) Rachel Green will you marry me?
Monica: Great! Were hangin in the kitchen! (She drags him into the kitchen and turns his back to the living room) Lets stay in the kitchen!
Chandler: Its picture time.
Chandler: (showing her the pictures) Heres a picture of Ross. (Shows another one.) And thats me. (Another one.) And thats me and Ross. (Another one.) Oh-ho, that is a picture of our first kiss as a married couple.
Chandler: Okay, so this isnt a picture of our first, but it is a picture of my first kiss with with this lady. Which by the look on your face Im sure youll remember. So we dont need(Rips the picture)Theres no need to have this picture. How about I take the real pictures and get them developed right now.
Phoebe: Wait you stole those from these peoples wedding?
Tag: Oh, its crazy about Rachel huh?
Ross: Yeah. SheWell, shes one crazy lady?
Ross: Whats a matter with me? Youve got a black light. Its 1999!
Ross: Thats right!
Phoebe: That shes gonna move in with you and maybe then shell fall in love with you and then when she finds out youre already married, shell just be happy. Yknow? Youre just, youre very sad.
(Rachel takes the ball from his hands and bounces it off of Rosss forehead and Chandler catches the rebound.)
Chandler: Whats wrong with you?
Ross: Pity food? Y'know what thats okay, all right, I dont need any of you to stay, okay nobody stays.
Monica: Whos Denise?
Chandler: Thats a hernia.
Ross: Hows my little boy?
Phoebe: Whats going on?
Janice: Oh yknow what? You have to speak very loudly when youre talking to Sid, because hes almost completely deaf.
Phoebe: Oh, okay! (reading) "Would I go back to Allesandros? Sure, but Id have to order two meals, one for me and one for the guy pointing the gun to my head." (to Monica) Wow! You really laid into this place.
Phoebe: Wait, no, look at this! (Points to one.) (Reading) "Two bedroom, two bath, must be non-smoker, Satan worshipers okay " Oh, yeah, but its on the ground floor.
Phoebe: Thats short for Phoebe?! I thought that was just what we called each other!
Joey: Uh no Rach, hes gone. But listen, he told us what happened and it does, it sounds like an honest mistake.
Chandler: (entering with Rachel) Im telling ya, Joannas got it all wrong. Okay? All I said was, This was fun. Lets do it again sometime. Ill give you a call.
Ross: Oh, no! No-no! No, I tired! But I couldnt. Thats why Im here. Maybe we could attack them together? (He glares at him.) That-thats a no.
A Student: Whats happening to your accent?
Joey: I could use a challenge! Its getting pretty easy.
Monica: Im with you Chandler! I mean I cant have sex with a sick person either, thats disgusting! But Im not sick! Let me prove it to you. We are two healthy people in the pribe of libe.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know. Oh, good thing its one of those 801 numbers. Right?
Rachel: Well theres an idea!!
[Scene: Phoebes apartment, Parker and her are entering.]
Joey: Oh, yeah, totally! Thats such a turn-on!
Rachel: Its not funny, this is actually my job.
Joey: Yeah, but its my wax.
{Transcribers Note: Elizabeth has two friends in the room with her who are named in the credits, but not in this scene. So Im just gonna guess since it doesnt matter one way or the other. (The last part is to discourage e-mails, who cares if I got it right or not?)}
Joey: Okay. All right. Umm, so uh, so how did it happen? Did your eyes meet across the room? And then the next thing yknow youre in the bathtub together and shes feeding you strawberries?
Dr. Long: Thats fine, for now well just call her Baby Girl Green.
Monica: Sweetie, with you its gonna be different. The sex is gonna be great, cause you-you guys are in love.
Rachel: No, the other thing. I really think its great they work things out.
Chandler: Why not?! I mean its just, its just climbing! Its just, its just steep!
Phoebe: Im pretty sure its gun.
Monica: No that is not what happened with us. Well, I was umm, I was really sad that night because this guy that I was Rosss mom.
Joey: Is it the shampoo? Its guava.
Monica: (not wanting to be left out, picks up something) Hey umm, whats this?
Joey: (entering) Hey. (Ross turns to see who it is, and seeing its Joey he just ignores him and turns back around.) Ross, I know youre pissed at me, but we have to talk about this.
Joey: Well uh, I wanted to have a few beers, but uh, I got rid of those because Rachel couldnt stand the smell of them. But I have thrown back a lot of orange juice with calcium though. And uh, its a couple weeks past its expiration date, so its got a bit of a kick.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, continued from earlier.]
Chandler: So I guess its just uh, you and me then.
Ross: (entering) Well hey! Whats going on? Ooh, cool boat(Sees why the boats there)Oh, no. (Averts his eyes by looking around the room) (To Rachel) Hey, did you, did you tell them?
Phoebe: Seriously, I dont Rachels gonna think its a good idea.
Chandler: Du-du-I wrote it, I wrote it on the board! I wrote it on the board, then I went all over New York City looking for ya! I went to Rosss! I went to the coffeehouse! I went to any place that they made sandwiches!
Phoebe: Aw, honey its not your fault, y'know this is who you are, and I love you, and I want us to be friends, and if I keep living here I dont see that happening.
Phoebe: Thats right.
Casting Director #2: Thats where you pick up the bag.
Stephanie: Well the divorces dont bother me, Id date him. But, not while hes still married.
Chandler: Oh Maria. You cant say no to her, shes like this lycra spandex covered gym treat.
Chandler: I think thats gum.
(As Bonnie goes to do just that, Rachel smiles to herself, proud of what shes done.)
Phoebe: Come on, theres gotta be something.
Monica: I dont think theres anything.
Monica: Nope, shes perfect.
Ross: Thats all youre basing this on?
Monica: (on phone) Whats up?
Joey: Well, whats it called?
Rachel: Well its mine too! What else you got?!
Phoebe: I didnt do it! It was Chandler! Hes Hes mad at you!
Phoebe: No offence but, yknow sometimes its hard to understand you, yknow with the accent, so
Ross: Maybe hes just jumping on a pogo-stick and really likes it?
Rachel: Well, Phoebe thats fine because Im not moving.
Chandler: Whats wrong?
Rachel: Look he doesnt have any brothers or sisters, somebodys gonna have to teach him this stuff! And I havent taught him anything that a normal 6-year-old doesnt know anyway!
Phoebe: Yeah, but Monica, do you actually want to be in a relationship where you can actually use the phrase, "Thats not how your dad used to do it."
Joey: Its him, not it!
Rachel: Ohhhhhh, look its the roller blades.
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Chandler is trying to get Joeys money back from Ross.]
Rachel: Okay look, let me paint you a little picture. (She sits down next to him.) All right, you are settin sail up the Hudson! Youve got the wind in your h(sees that hes bald)arms! You-you get all that peace and quiet that youve always wanted! You get back to nature! You can go fishin! You canooh, you can get one of those little hats and have people call you captain, and then when youre old, Cappy.
Rachel: Phoebes...
Rachel: Phoebes
Phoebe: No, its not! We were just goofing around and I dared him to try them on.
Rachel: Well, let�s see. The first one is: I don�t want to. And, you know, I�m not going.
Monica: Whats fish hooking?
Chandler: Well, Joeys my best friend.
Monica: He cannot play at our wedding! I mean everyone will leave! I mean come on, that is just noise! Its not even a song!
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, can I ask? So, hes going out with her. I mean, is it really so terrible?
Monica: Oh Rachel, I know the best coffee house and its sooo close.
Joey: Oh what, wait, wait a second, I mean, what are we doing? Whos going with who?
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
(Suddenly, Phoebes boss, Mrs. Potter, and a client, Mr. Simon, enters.)
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah, I-I-I see the scare. Listen, Paul, I think this is really great that-that yknow, you shared your feelings. Its really, its beautiful, but umm, what do you say we go share some food?
Joey: Absolutely! I could be a vegetarian. Theres no meat in beer, right?
Joey: I know. And shes so sweet. I just wanna feed her grapes and brush her hair.
Janice: (leaning in from the bedroom) Chandler! Come on, Im gonna show how to roll up your underwear and stuff it in your shoes. Its a real space saver.
Ross: Hey-hey, since youre the fix-it lady, heres a pickle, what do you do when the bride says she doesnt want to have the wedding at all?
The Dry Cleaner: Thats right. Mr. Ford is a very good customer, he brings us a lot of clothes; you bring us nothing!
Joey: Oh yeah, whos playing?
Monica: (breaking the kiss) Yknow whats weird?
Rachel: Maybe its not as bad as I think. Yknow, maybe they didnt take it the way I meant it.
Rachel: Well, we have gotta find out if hes alive.
Joey: Hey! Its Porsche!! (Hes right yknow.)
Phoebe: Yeah, I can see where Id be your best shot but, no. Im sorry, but I think its twisted.
Gunther: Whats my last name?
Monica: (on phone) Hello Greg? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica from the plane? Listen, the number that you gave me 853-5 (Listens) (To Chandler) That is their old number! Jennys been giving it out since they moved!
Rachel: (spinning the bottle) So, Spin the Bottle works like this: I spin the bottle, it lands on Gunther, so I would have to kiss Gunther. (She crawls over to where Gunther is sitting and sees the look of anticipation on Gunthers face and decides not to kiss him.) All right. Who wants to go first?
Joey: (entering) Rachels having her baby!! (Phoebe turns and looks at him.) Which is of no interest to me, Im a neurologist.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Chandler and Ross are there. Monica enters]
Carol: Its not that kind of anniversary.
Monica: Cause I just keeping thinking about all these things that Im not gonna have and its freaking me out. I dont know what to do about it.
Chandler: (to a waiter) Oh thats great! Right there! Can we get some of that over here please? (The waiter comes over) There we go.