words in movies
Monica: (depressed) Thats right. Im no longer a bride. Ill never be a bride again. Now, Im just someones wife!
Monica: Thats not til Thursday.
Monica: Thats true! (Happily) I knew I married you for a reason!
Front Desk Clerk: (To Monica) Heres a copy of your bill.
Joey: Yeah, thats sad. Mashuga nut?
[Scene: Rosss Hotel Room, he is letting Chandler in.]
Ross: Why not? Its built into the price of the room.
Chandler: So? What? What? Theyre gone! Monicas gonna freak!
Phoebe: Well I guess its okay to open one more if its part of a set. Yknow, its probably this one. (Grabs another small one.)
Monica: No! Joey and Ross dont know anything and Chandler still thinks that Phoebes pregnant.
Phoebe: Yeah thats right Chandler does still think Im pregnant. He hasnt asked me how Im feeling or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. (Monica looks at her.) After you of course.
Phoebe: What?! I think hes cute.
Monica: Wow. Yknow it is so weird. I mean, youre gonna tell this guy today and he has no idea whats gonna happen.
Phoebe: Pretty big? Its huge! God, this guy doesnt have a clue! Hes just walking down the street thinking, I had sex with Rachel Green. I rock! then bam! Hes a father and everythings different.
Rachel: Well its only different if he wants it to be. I mean, Im not gonna ask him for anything.
Phoebe: Okay. Then he still has this huge decision to make. Now hes walking around thinking, Do I want to be a dad? and then bam!
Phoebe: I dont. He got he-he-he-hes hit by a bus.
Rachel: Oh Joey! Joey! No, its not you! You didnt get anybody pregnant!
Phoebe: Oh yeah. Thats me.
Joey: Whoa, wait a minute. Whos the father?
Phoebe: You dont know him. Its not important. He wants nothing to do with me or the baby. (She sits down like shes pregnant.)
Monica: Whos David Lynn?
Chandler: Yes! And thats why Im under the table. Celebrating.
Ross: Well I checked in the uh, lost and found, I talked to the manager, no-ones turned them.
Chandler: Well this is great. Yknow, those cameras were the only thing that was gonna cheer Monica up today, shes really depressed.
Ross: Im sorry man. (Formally dressed people start to enter.) Heres a thought. This is the same ballroom. Theres a band. Theres gonna be plenty of dressed up people.
Ross: No-no-no, Im saying we-we buy more of this (disposable cameras) at the gift shop, throw our tuxes back on, and take a few pictures. All we have to do is make sure not to get anybody elses faces.
Rachel: No! Phoebe, its not Gunther.
Phoebe: Youre thinking about this way too much. Just tell him and get it over with. Its like, its like ripping off this Band-Aid. (On her arm) Quick and painless, watch. (Rips it off.) Oh mother of See?
Phoebe: All right. (She sits down like shes pregnant again.)
Joey: Umm, now uh Its a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. Yknow, now I always thought you and I had a special bond so (He goes to one knee and pulls out a ring.) Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
Phoebe: Hey lady, your days over! Its my turn!
Monica: Shes not pregnant. Its Rachel. Rachels the one whos pregnant.
Phoebe: Its Joey! (Joey turns and looks at her and she mouths I love you to him.)
Joey: (smiles then stops) Now I cant believe it! What? Rachels pregnant? (The girls nod yes.) Whos the father?
Monica: Theres a dude?
Phoebe: (gasps) Oh my God! I know who the father is (She walks into Monica and Chandlers.)
Rachel: Oh God Oh, hes in there right now?
Rachel: Uh, lets rip!
Anxious Wedding Guest: (rushing up) Thats my car!
Tag: So, whats this about?
Tag: Whats going on Rach?
Rachel: Oh, its just not the right time.
Tag: Come on Rach, lets give it another try.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Obsessive Monica has finished opening all the presents. Shes ashamed of this, at least, because as someone enters ]
Joey: Oh hey! You got my parents gift! (Holds it up.)
Joey: Listen I uh (He takes her hand.) Its a scary world out there especially if youre a single mom. Yknow, I always felt like you and I have this-this special bond. Yknow? So, (gets down on one knee again) Rachel Green will you marry me?
Monica: Great! Were hangin in the kitchen! (She drags him into the kitchen and turns his back to the living room) Lets stay in the kitchen!
Chandler: Its picture time.
Chandler: (showing her the pictures) Heres a picture of Ross. (Shows another one.) And thats me. (Another one.) And thats me and Ross. (Another one.) Oh-ho, that is a picture of our first kiss as a married couple.
Chandler: Okay, so this isnt a picture of our first, but it is a picture of my first kiss with with this lady. Which by the look on your face Im sure youll remember. So we dont need(Rips the picture)Theres no need to have this picture. How about I take the real pictures and get them developed right now.
Phoebe: Wait you stole those from these peoples wedding?
Tag: Oh, its crazy about Rachel huh?
Ross: Yeah. SheWell, shes one crazy lady?
Phoebe: He is! But hes getting divorcedRoss! Maybe you know him.
Monica: Oh-ho-ho, sweetie, sweetie, you gotta stop saying that, now. Its no big deal, its not even worth mentioning, you see we all do it all the time. See watch this, Ben, Ben, Ben. (goes over and starts hitting her head on the post) Ow, Monica bang! (does it again) Everybody bang. (repeats) Ben bang. (repeats) Rachel bang. (repeats) Bang, Rachel bang! Oh, isnt that fun?
Ross: I like this one. (Points to it.) It seems to say, "I love you and thats why I have to kill you."
Carol: Whats too much fun?
Joey: Thats right! And what are you not gonna do?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is coming home. As we walks through the door, and without looking up, he goes to throw his keys on the foosball table, only, its gone and the keys it the floor. He then looks up at an empty apartment; everything is gone except for the entertainment center and that ceramic dog. Even the food in the fridge!]
[This starts a series of flashbacks starting with Monica and Chandler forcing Joey to keep his new found knowledge of their secret relationship in Monicas bedroom in The One With All the Kips.]
Monica: Please, could you just try it for me? Come on, I used all my best stuff! I-I-I lit some candles. I put on some music. I used bath salts, plus bubble bath! And got you this little plastic Navy ship. So its a boy bath!
Joey: Its not that bad.
Joey: Whats up with Gene?
Rachel: Shes totally right! When we were together, you got all freaked out about Mark and there was nothing going on.
[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler & Nina are locked in a passionate embrace. Someone knocks, so they hurriedly separate to stare out of the window. Chandlers boss opens the door.]
Sophie: Yknow why? Shes got the Christmas bonus list in there. I saw her working on it this morning.
Janice: Whats the matter? Is something wrong? Do you have to stay?
Rachel: No, hey, come on, if he asked you first, thats only fair. (leaves)
Chandler: Oh, I have to get married in James Bonds tux!
Ross: Yes, thats what I was going to ask, thank you.
Phoebe: If shes no fun, why do you want to date her at all?
Chandler: Because hes crazy. Okay? He came up to me earlier and thanked me for my very moving performance in Titanic.
Rachel: HEY!! Do you have to do that? Its Saturday!
Dr. Green: Hes Bobby Bobby?
The Singing Man: (singing, duh) Mornings here! Sunshine is here! The sky is clear, the mornings here! The mornings here!
Chandler: Yknow what? Its gonna be okay. Yknow what? Shes probably not gonna even want to come.
(She escapes, fortunately so distracting Mr. Douglas, that he misses Chandlers expression of alarm & guilt.)
Rachel: Its okay! Its okay! It kicked once, itll kick again!
Ross: (to Rachel) But work comes first! (to Mark) Oh hey, but thats sad about you though, what happened? Burn out? Burn all out, did ya?
Joey: So the ah, plays pretty great, huh?
Rachel: No!! No! Hes not married, or involved, with anyone!
Ross: Ugh, shes saying good-bye to her uncle.
Phoebe: Thats too hard. Too hard!
Joey: Whats the game?! Whats the game?!
(She turns her head away and when shes not looking, Phoebe shakes her head and mouths, "No, Im not." Both Joey and Ross smile, look at each other, and then stop smiling.)
Rachel: Oh, now see thats a fancy but.
Chandler: Fine, lets do it.
Rachel: Phoebe, its okay. I like living with Joey.
Emily: Ohh, its a bit small.
(Its Rachels turn to open the door.)
Rachel: I know (she touches Emma’s head) but they’re just so beautiful! Oh, my God, I just pulled one out.
Joey: Hey, what happened to your fancy chefs jacket? (sees theres a burn spot on it)
Chandler: Oh, well, thats great!
Chandler: Oh yeah, then uh, what was Phoebes song about?
The Singing Man: (singing) Mornings here! The mornings here!
The Museum Official: Yes. Were very popular. Theres a two-year waiting list. Sorry! (She kinda storms out with the couple.)
Ross: Thats a good point. So uh, how long are you gonna punish him?
Monica: Chandler, thats like your fourth cup of coffee!
Rachel: Because, hes my friend.
Hooker: Uh, no. But I could pretend to strip, but thats gonna cost extra. Okay, heres the extras, handcuffs, spanking (Chandler grunts for her not to continue and Joey pulls him back into the kitchen.)
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (He goes to the closet, moves the clothes out of the way, and notices an empty hanger. He takes the empty hanger and bends it all out of shape. Then he holds it out as if hes giving it to her.) Yes honey, I made it myself. (He throws it down and goes to her chest, grabs something, goes to the bed table, and takes out a pair of scissors. He turns around and holds the scissors to the crotch of the panties he just removed.) I cant do it. I cant do it. (He throws them both down and continues looking. He opens another closet door and finds a tape.) Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! (He runs out into the living room.)
Ross: Whats wah-pah?
Monica: You know everything!! Oh wait, double or nothing. I bet you the baby is over seven pounds. (Phoebe isnt interested.) I bet you it has hair. (Shes still not interested.) I bet you its a girl.
Rachel: Oh, thats sweet.
Chandler: Its not something to be proud of, okay? You have to go to a sleep clinic!
Ross: What? Rach! Come on, thats terrible! Theyre uh theyre babies. Theyre-theyre all beautiful.
Rachel: Oh yeah, no, whats that?
Monica: I know that theres no hole there, I just really liked that picture.
[Scene: The beach house, Rachels bedroom. She is finishing up writing something as Ross walks through the door.]
Ross: Theres no or in mind. What is wrong with these pants?!!
Chandler: Its 6:00.
Chandler: Steps! (He opens the door to his apartment to Ross and Joey looking at the new Playboy) Slut! (Ross and Joey quickly hide the Playboy behind their backs. Chandler wonders into the girls apartment.) You will all be very happy to hear that Kathy is sleeping with that guy!
Rachel: Well, thats great.
Rachel: Ohh, here you are. I was looking for you before. Joshuas gone so you and Emily are free to go.
Joshua: Then uh, whats-whats this? (Shows her the real anti-theft device.)
Phoebe: Im not gonna right to you! Thats not real!
[Scene: Kathys apartment, Chandler is knocking on the door.]
Richard: Yeah hes no good. Do you ever (pause) think about me in a (pause) non-eye doctor way?
Chandler: (sees another rack) Well, whats the deal with these? These-these look nice.
Rachel: Ohhh well. Yknow what honey? The best thing to do to get over a guy is to start dating someone else. Oh! There is this great guy you will love at work named Bob! Hes a real up-and-comer in Human Resources.
Monica: Oh my God! Shes amazing. Oh, oh Im so glad you guys got drunk and had sex!
Rachel: Oh-oh, thats a risky little game!
Chandler: Its a big company, I dontif youI
Joey: Thats horrible! Well, you did the right thing man.
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Joey: (muffled by the mouth guard) Dude! I am trying to sleep! (Shrugs to say, "Whats up with that?")
Mr. Geller: Well, I dont know whats in the boxes down here, but I do know there are six or seven Easy Bake Ovens in the attic.
Joey: Everybodys doing stuff!
Phoebe: What-whats up?
Joey: (shocked) Thats mean! You really had me going there!
[Scene: Phoebe Sr.s house, theres a knock on the door.]
Ross: Okay, its not, its not.
Chloe: Thats so great for you guys!
Ross: No, please, please, um, its for a poor little girl who wants to go to Spacecamp more than anything in the world.
Monica: Hes in a different room! Hes really that loud?
Chandler: (entering, with Phoebes book.) Here you go Phoebe! Here you go Phobo! Phewbedo! Phaybobo.
Tommy: Ice coffee? Tell me its ice coffee!
Joey: Shes right in there. (motions to the living room)
Rachel: (entering) Hey guys! Whats up?
Rachel: Whats this? Is this Rosss wedding invitation?
Phoebe: Oh, this is terrible. Oh, theyve made so many changes I cant even feel my grandmothers presence anymoreOoh! New sconces!
Mr. Treeger:: Yeah, you could dance real good with her, shes the same size as me.
Allesandro: Hey! Im proud of that sauce, its delicious.
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
C.H.E.E.S.E: Oh yeah? Well then how come I cant get my VCR to stop blinking 12:00?
Monica: Emilys straight.
[Scene: Rachels Outer Office, shes returning from lunch to see Tag not doing his sit-ups.]
Chandler: Hes right. Nobodys gonna benefit, and youre just gonna hurt her.
Chandler: Oh yeah, its beautiful country up there.
{Transcribers Note: For further reading on the above story, please check out The One Where Joey Moves Out.}
Mr. Zelner: Yeah, its not like I dont have a sense of humor, huh? Hell, I even enjoy a naughty limerick now and then. But theres a time and a place, huh?! Unless you uh, have a limerick right now? (They both nod no.) No? Okay, well uh, youve (Grabs the chocolates.) got my fax number. (Exits.)
Ross: Chloe, Chloe hows it coming?!!
Ross: (entering) Hey! Has anyone seen my shirt? Its a button down, like a, like a faded salmon?