words in movies
Melissa: You have been M.I.A for the past seven sorority newsletters, whats up with you?!
Rachel: Wh(Turns and looks at the gang whos staring)Why dont I tell you over here? (She walks Melissa away from the gang.)
Melissa: So last I heard you were gonna get married. (Grabs Rachels hand and notices that she doesnt have a ring on it.) (Sadly) Oh poor Ray-ray.
Rachel: Oh no-no, no! Its good! Its all good! I-I actually work at Ralph Lauren!
Rachel: I will not! Im the divisional head of mens sportswear!
Melissa: I-Ive got to go. This has been so great Ray-ray! (Gunther returns with her cigarettes.) Oh, there you are. (Takes them from Gunther.) (To Rachel) Umm, so listen, just call me. Heres my card. (Hands the card over.)
Melissa: Oh no, thats-thats an old card. Umm, I wanted to get out of that and-and do something where I can really help people and-and make a difference.
Joey: Hey guys! Look whos back! Its Ray-ray!
Rachel: Shes actually very sweet and we used to be very close.
Monica: Wait a minute, she isnt Shes not the one who you
Rachel: Its not a big deal!
Ross: So thats two of my wives.
Monica: (telling Chandler the seating arrangement) Okay so this is where the band is. (Points.) And this is where the bar is. (Points) And all these pins have peoples names on them. (She has pins to show the seating at each of the tables.) And Rach, here you are. (Points to Rachels place.)
Monica: Chandler, relax its not a contest. (To Rachel) Certainly not a close one.
Monica: Okay, I think thats it. The seating chart is done. This is our wedding. They all look like theyre having fun dont they?
Monica: Oh! (Gets up) Lets see, well if this is the wedding hall then umm (Walks away) youre parents will be at home in Queens.
Joey: What theyre not invited?! Oh no, thats terrible! Theyre gonna be crushed!
Joey: Well, Im sorry. I thought parents were coming! Yknow? Your parents are comin! Chandlers parents are comin! Rosss parents are comin!
Monica: Rosss parents are my parents!
Rachel: (motioning to a rack) So now, these are all the tuxedos that we make and if theres anything that you like, we can make you a deal. Anything at all. (Grabs a few) But these are the three that Monica pre-approved.
Rachel: Im Monicas maid of honor. Okay? Dont try to blue pin me!
Chandler: (sees another rack) Well, whats the deal with these? These-these look nice.
Rachel: Umm, well lets see uh, this one is Tom Brokaw.
Chandler: Whos that?
Chandler: 007?! This is James Bonds tux?!
Chandler: Oh, I have to get married in James Bonds tux!
Rachel: Its a pretty cool tux.
Chandler: Oh, its not just that, I would be Englands most powerful weapon. Jet setting heartbreaker on her majestys secret service. A man who fears no one; with a license to kill. (Worried.) Would Monica let me wear this?
Phoebe: I like our way. Oh! (Grabs a piece and jumps a bunch of Joeys like in Checkers.) Chess!
Phoebe: What is this? Whats going on?
Rachel: Well, do you want to hear what actually happened or Joeys lewd version?
Phoebe: Joeys!
Ross: No. Rachel hooked me up with a tux! But not just any tux, Batmans tux!
Ross: Thats right! Made expressly for Val Kilmer and worn by him in the hit film that Batman film he was in.
Chandler: You cant wear that! Im wearing the famous tux! James Bonds tux!
Chandler: Look, its my wedding day okay? If you were getting married I would never do anything to upset you.
Monica: Oh thats too bad. Its true, but too bad.
Joey: Come on! Look just-just telllet her know that you really want them to be there. Lets not forget, this is a woman that has sent you many lasagnas over the years.
Rachel: Oh. Oh, thats great!
Joey: Right. Right. The wedding, gotcha. But I mean, its gonna start a little late right? I mean, weddings start late. Right?
Joey: Ah. Yeah. Well look, the thing is its the same day as my nieces christening and I really want my parents to be there in time to see me. Cause my parts just in the beginning Im not even in the rest of the showWedding!
Phoebe: Oh, somewhere Joeys head is exploding.
Phoebe: Rachel, its okay. You dont have to do this. I believe you. All right? Okay, if-if you say that you kissed Melissa, then you kissed Melissa.
Ross: What are you kidding? Its Batmans tux!!
Chandler: (trying on the jacket) Okay. Holy double-vented comfort Batman! (Finds something in the pocket) Whats this?
Monica: All right thats it, I give up! Whatever you want you can have it! You wanna sing a song? You wanna do a dance? You want your mom stand at the Alter and scream racial slurs? I dont care!
(Shes about to get in when )
Melissa: Aww, look whos being suddenly shy. You cant tell me you dont feel what I feel. Nobody can kiss that good and not mean it. (Goes in again.)
Rachel: Well yknow what they say, the 23rd times the charm. (Chandler enters.) Aww, look at you all handsome!
Chandler: Okay, cause thats not gonna get annoying.
Alice: Sweety, now, shes a woman, not a gumball machine.
Joey: The Silly Putty! Its not so silly anymore!
Trudie Styler: Hi! (By the way, its actually her.)
Ross: But thats not enough. So So heres a key to my apartment. (Hands her his key.)
Phoebe: Joey, shes so cool. She speaks four languages.
Joey: Thats not gonna work out! Then shes gonna come home all weepy and youll be tellin her, "Oh thats okay. Youll find someone." And then, bamn! She finds you!
Jennifer: Katie. Geez! See Katie, come hereKatie! (Katie spills some popcorn.) Katie, come here Katie. (She obeys and sits where shes supposed to.) Very good.
Hums While He Pees: I know its really lame, but I got these tickets from my boss andOh no! No! No! My God!
Chandler: Its not gonna be exactly like last time.
Billy Crystal: Im sorry. Ex-excuse us. Im sorry, its a little crowded. Do you mind if we... (motions to the couch)
Joey: It wasnt my ring! It fell out of Rosss jacket! And when I knelt down to pick it up Rachel thought I was proposing!
Rachel: Oh, that�s what this is all about? Did you bring her up here to get back at me?
Joey: YeahHey, dont worry, shes a terrific girl. And hey listen, could you do me a favor? When she comes out could you just mention that Im not looking for a serious relationship; thatd be great.
Phoebe: Yes, yes I do. God, oh its just perfect! Wow! I bet it has a great story behind it too. Did they tell you anything? Like yknow where it was from or
Chandler: Oh! Thats great, they havent seen the place since I moved in!
Ross: None of the sane ones wanted to come back with me! That�s not the point. Ok? The point is you...you are the oneWho moved on and didn�t tell anyone!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Die Hard has ended, only I dont think Joey and Ross know that yet. As you see, they are both asleep. And theyre on the same couch. Which means theyre sleeping together. Not like Joey is at one end and Ross is on the other, they both happen to be lying down and sleeping together. Well, there hasnt been any clothes removed so not that kind of sleeping together. Not that theres anything wrong with that. That is unless youre a Republican in which that kind of thing will bring about the downfall of Western society, especially if they should happen to want to get married. Anyway, let me recap. No, there is too much, let me sum up. Ross and Joey are taking a nap together on top of each other and both wake-up at the same time, realize what they just did, scream, and jump up.]
Rachel: Man in the black dress (Monica walks away and Rachel looks around to find a woman in a black dress.) (To her) Hi! Im Rachel! Im a friend of Monica and Chandlers!
Phoebe: No he wont. And thats not even the point! Monica, I made a whole speech about you do not cancel plans with friends! And now yknow what? Just because, potentially, the love of my life comes back from Russia just for one night, I-I should change my beliefs?! I should change beliefs! No! No! No, if I dont have my principles, I dont have anything!
Phoebe: Yeah! Or too, you could be two stockbrokers and youre-youre-youre rolling around naked on the trading floor and everybodys watching! (Ross looks at her.) It never happened.
(Mrs. Walthams phone rings and she answers it.)
Chandler: The ball is Janice. The ball is Janice. (goes to kick the ball but kicks Rosss foot instead.)
Monica: I know, hes too charming, but if you two start going out, then its just gonna make it so much harder for me to hate him.
Monica: Oh, my mothers right. Im never going to get married.
Mrs. Green: Darling, thats a breast pump!
Phoebe: (to Marge) Excuse me! Can you tell me where I can find Earl? Hes the supply manager around here.
[Scene: The librarys Paleontology section, Ross is patrolling as a couple walks up.]
Monica: Its harder for me! I have those four other women to compete with!
Phoebe: (singing) Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat, its not your fault.
Chandler: What honey, its like fifteen blocks to the subway. Lets go.
Chandler: Its-its about Kathy. Umm, uh, I like her. I like her a lot actually.
Ross: Correct! What is Chandler Bing’s job?
Monica: Well, it was the first time. Yknow, theres not always a lot of agreement the first time.
(She goes to look out the window at Rosss apartment and sees Jill staring at her and closing the drapes with an evil look on her face. Rachel is stunned into silence.)
Monica: Thats not even a game!
Rachel: (scoffs at him) Yeah, thats gonna get you into Soap Opera Digest. Well I (leans into the microphone again) I would just like to say that Joey truly has enriched the days of our lives.
(We see Tommy go into Joey and Chandlers apartment)
Phoebe: Okay, obviously you dont know much about the U.S. government.
Rachel: Hi. (He helps her up.) Umm, I think theres something that we really need to talk about.
Chandler: Okay, wait. All right, thats it, okay, Im out of here. I am not going to be embarrassed anymore! (He trips over a box, falls into a flower stand and walks away trying to be cool.)
Man: Yeah. Me. (The elevator door opens.) Oh hey, thats me. (Rolls onto the elevator.) Hey uh, I take it youre just visiting someone.
Chandler: Its kinda a ah, a third nipple kinda thing.
Joey: Its better! You cant go to a museum in your underwear!
Monica: All right, look, I hate this as much as you, but if it makes you feel better, its all your fault.
Monica: Oh, thats okay, I cant wait to see everything again! All of the memories
Monica: Its umm, it has something to do with transponding.
Rachel: God! DontWe cant let her start getting ready! This is too awful! Oh God, but wait shell be in the gown and then he wont show up and then shes gonna have to take off the gown
Eric: Yeah, I know it sounds crazy, and its not like me to do something so impulsive, but shes just so perfect, and we have so much in common.
Chandler: (to Joey) My lighters in there! (points to the cab)
Joey: Hey, yknow what? Ill come too. Im making money now; its about time I give something back.
Joey: Shes gone. She had a bag and she left.
Ross: (stands up) Thats great! Are you happy now? Look what you did with your funny, funny form!
Monica: You got a present for my parents. Thats so sweet.
Nurse #1: This poor guys been in a coma for five years. Its hopeless.
Rachel: Hi! So Im out having lunch at Monicas and this guy starts talking to me, and it turns out he works for a buyer at Bloomingdales and there happens to be an opening in his department. So I gave him my phone number and hes gonna call me this weekend to see if he can get me an interview!
Ross: No, its not what I want either. I mean I-I cant force myself to fall in love with her again now.
Ross: Oh what are you kidding? Shes gorgeous, its all Rachel.
Ross: Sure, because women never like Joey. Yknow, I think hes a virgin.
[Scene: The lecture, Ross is passed out against Rachels shoulder.]
Phoebe: Thats okay. All right, Im gonna play song thats really, really sad. Its called Magician Box Mix Up. (she turns her guitar upside down to play it.)
Janine: Well yknow, hes blah, shes justshes very loud for such a small person.
Ross: Yeah, ooh yeah, I think there is one from batch 17 left, uh (Grabs a cookie and takes a big bite out of it and doesnt like it.) Its batch 16! 16 people! Get out of the way! (Gets up and runs for the bathroom.)
Monica: Yeah, well, Im using noise. Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready? Here we go. (She flips on the switch and a hum starts.) I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? (They all start looking until Rachel realises its Joey.)
Joey: Yeah, youre right. Okay look, listen, lets talk about what a huge star Im gonna be!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, (although its really just Monicas now with Matthew Perry in rehab) Monica is folding her laundry with Ross reading the paper and Phoebe standing in the kitchen.]
Joey: So thats why I feed my dog Purina One! Pick up a bag today! (He turns, looks at the bag and realizes he wont be able to pick it up.)
Lisa: Okay, shh yeah. Cause its not silly.
Rachel: Op, but the twelfth brings a lovers spat.
[Scene: Outside Monas Apartment, Ross is knocking on the door.]
Joey: You-you have to pay that! Its not just a guess.
Ross: Because whats going on with Rachel has nothing to do with how I feel about you.
Monica: Heres the plan! Okay? Im going to leave you get a look at Brendas bra!
Chandler: Ah, I fooled around with Joeys sister. (Phoebe gasps) Well, thats not the worst part.
Chandler: Look, Im sorry! But theres nothing I can do, I think Im in love with her!
Rachel: Well, it doesnt sound like it! I mean, its pretty easy not to kiss someone, you just dont kiss them! See look at us, right now, not kissing!
Rachel: I know you did! I bought the same one! And if she sees your table shes gonna know that I lied to her. I told her ours was an original.
[Scene: Petes apartment, Pete and Monica are coming back from a date.]
Monica: No, its not a sign! Its a very old key!
Ross: I know, it�s the first time, we�re leaving the baby and � hey, I know how hard it is for you, but � but Emma is gonna be fine. My mom is gonna be with her. She�s great with kids.
Joey: Aaron! You gotta let me go. The guys hammered!
Dr. Green: Oh? Really? Thats what my daughter means to you? Nothing?
Phoebe: Okay, dont panic. Im gonna go to the store, Im gonna get you another set of nails, no ones gonna know, and youre gonna look great. (She runs over to get her coat.) Oh! Oh, its cause theyre gonna eatthats the problem.
Jill: Its probably because not mature enough. Or smart enough. Maybe he doesnt like the way I dressNo that cant be it. Its really gotta be the smart thing. Oh Im so stupid! Im just like this incredibly pretty stupid girl!
Phoebe: Whos the father?!
Emily: Oh, no-no, yknow I absolutely adore Rachel its just that, well it might be a awkward for you. But its absolutely your decision. (Gets up.) More tea?
Ross: Yeah, all right, its a date. (He leaves)
Monica: Well, theres a lot to think about. I mean, how is she, how is she going to handle this financially? How is she going to juggle work? Does she realize shes not going to have a date again for the next eighteen years?
Chandler: Okay, well he totally screwed up the punch line. Y'know, its supposed to be arrghh-eh og-errigh.
Monica: Okay, can we change the topic? Because its really doing nothing for me.
(Susan just glares back, as Rosss inappropriate joke falls flat. Meanwhile, a bubble is about to burst...)
Joey: No reason, Im just saying that uh Thats where Ill be.
Rachel: Dont say that I have no sentiment! (Starts to show Ross whats in the box.) This is a movie stub from our first date! This is an eggshell from the first time you made me breakfast in bed! (Holds up a bone) This is from the museum from the first time we were together. Okay, maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter!
Monica: Wow! Its like Rachel in High School.
Rachel: Ohh, its gonna be so great! Im gonna get to help decide what we sell, Im gonna have an office with walls and everything. (turns to Monica) Im gonna have walls!
[Scene: Chandlers office, he is just finishing a meeting with his boss.]
Cecilia: Oh yeah-yeah, we should get the (Pause) So when Jessica kisses a man, she usually puts umm, both her hands on the mans face. (She does so.)
Ross: No! I talked to Joey on the set, he hasnt heard from him. I-I-I talked to Chandlers parents again!
Chandler: Thats great, but shouldnt you be on the toilet right now?
Chandler: Okay. Then I guess its just, wait here then. (Hands her the sign that says, Wait Here.") (To the ticket agent) Hi. I need one fake ticket to Yemen.