words in movies
Monica: Theres still so much to do. Have you written your vows yet?
Monica: (handing him a pad of paper and a pen) Lets just do it right now. Okay? It wont be hard. Just say whats in your heart. (She goes back, sits down, and starts feverishly writing.)
Chandler: (watching in her) (in his head) Look at her go! She must love me more than I love her! Whats wrong with me? Ooh, dont open that door.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica has hit a writers block as Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
Monica: You have to help me! Im supposed to be writing my vows and all I have is this! (Shows them what shes been working on.)
Chandler: All right, theres a nuclear holocaust, Im the last man on Earth. Would you go out with me?
Phoebe: Well maybe you dont talk about your feelings back then. Maybe you just say something about yknow all the things that hes taught you. Like (They all try to think about one example and dont succeed.) Or all the things you taught him.
Monica: Now everybody knows the basic erogenous zones. (She starts labelling them) You got one, two three, four (Chandler is shocked to find out theres more than three), five, six, and seven!
Chandler: (shocked) There are seven?! (Points to one) Thats one?
Monica: Its kind of an important one!
[Cut to Ross leaping into Chandlers Hotel room in London in The One With Rosss Wedding.]
[Cut to Chandler opening the door to his and Joeys apartment to reveal Monica standing there with a turkey on her head in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
[Cut to Chandler entering his and Monicas apartment alight with a thousand candles in The One With The Proposal.]
Monica: Chandler In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to fall in love with my best my best Theres a reason why girls dont do this!
Ross: Hows Monica coming along with her vows?
Phoebe: Well lets just say its shes lucky she has a sweet ass, cause shes not so good at the writing.
Phoebe: Well lets just hope it works. Yknow nine out of ten marriages end in divorce?
Ross: Phoebe thats not true.
Phoebe: Yeah, youre right. Hows the Mrs.?
Joey: I know! I mean its not like we werent cool about it.
[This starts a series of flashbacks starting with Monica and Chandler forcing Joey to keep his new found knowledge of their secret relationship in Monicas bedroom in The One With All the Kips.]
[Cut to Phoebe in Rosss new apartment looking at Monica and Chandler and what theyre about to do in The One Where Everybody Finds Out.]
[Cut to later in that episode. Rachel and Phoebe are going to a movie from Monica and Chandlers, and as Phoebe walks by Chandler she pinches him on the butt and exits.]
[Cut to later in that episode. Monica and Chandler are confronting Joey in his apartment about Phoebes knowledge.]
[Cut to later in that episode. Phoebe is telling Rachel in Monica and Chandlers that Chandler wants to make a date with Phoebe.]
[Cut to later in that episode. Chandler is in his bathroom with Monica, and hes panicking on how far Phoebe is pushing him.]
Phoebe: Yknow, youre friends getting married, its gotta change things.
Chandler: Whats going on?
Joey: Yeah, you can get a Volvo. If thats what you really want.
Monica: Oh thats so sweet.
Monica: Yeah, I dont hear Chandlers and he doesnt hear mine.
(They spilt into their sexes and the girls read Monicas and the guys read Chandlers. The girls gasp and groan and the guys laugh hysterically.
Phoebe: (To Monica) Oh, thats beautiful.
Joey: (To Chandler) (laughing) Funny one! Thats good!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Ross and Joey are reading Chandlers new vows.]
Chandler: I stole Monicas and changed the name.
(They both go to Chandlers bedroom to get his coat.)
Tim: Wow! Umm, okay. Umm (To Phoebe) I-I-I realize I came on a little strong but, its only because I think youre so amazing. (To Monica) And uh, I-I just wanna, I just wanna tell you how much I appreciate you giving me an opportunity here because Iyoure the most talented chef Ive ever worked for. Anyway (Starts to leave and Phoebe and Monica trade looks.)
Joey: Hey listen, so whens-whens my audition? I mean I know its Thursday, but what time?
[Scene: Rachels New Office, shes interviewing a potential new assistant, Hilda.]
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and Joanna are returning from their lunch date. He is telling her about her mascara problem. Rachel is already there.]
Phoebe: No! (Rosss phone rings.)
Monica: No I dont know Chandler! Not anymore! Its like its like somethings changed.
(They start to go into Monica and Rachels, their apartment is filled with all of the old Christmas trees from Joeys work.)
Ross: So its looks like were the first ones here.
Joey: Twelve hundred dollars? You think I have $1200? Im home in the middle of the day, and I got patio furniture in my living room. I guess theres a few things you dont get from book learnin.
Monica: Chandler, what are you doing? That thing can put someones eye out!
Joey: Yes, but in Drake Remorays body. (Ross laughs unbelievably.) Why is this so hard for you to get? I thought you were a scientist!
Joey: Right. Right. The wedding, gotcha. But I mean, its gonna start a little late right? I mean, weddings start late. Right?
Monica: You invite my brother, you invite my whole family, and not me?! Why?! WhatWhy wouldnt you want me at your wedding? What could I have possibly done?! (Frannies husband walks up.) Stuart!
Monica: Oh, thank you! (The gang exhibits signs of quiet apprehension and wears knowing glances.) (Monica giggles.) Whats going on?
Phoebe: Well, all right. 1700 bags of peanuts flying that high, thats pretty amazing too.
Rachel: Really?! (Taking his resume) Okay well then, all right, well just have a seat there. Umm, so whatswhat iswhats your name?
Rachel: Oh is it?! (She answers the cute guys phone.) Uhh, hello? (On her phone) Yes hi, is Rachel there? (On the other phone) Yes she is, just one moment please. (To Phoebe, holding out both phones.) Its for me!
Rachel: Wh(Turns and looks at the gang whos staring)Why dont I tell you over here? (She walks Melissa away from the gang.)
Dr. Schiff: So, hows it going?
Rachel: Ohh, its Joshua invited me to this fancy club opening tonight. But, I already told Mr. Waltham that I would take his niece to this dumb old opera. So What are you gonna do?
Monica: Oh, come on its my wedding! That can be my present.
Ginger: Ah well, its nubbin. Nothing! Umm. Y'know what, Ill see you later. Okay. (She leaves and in the hall we see her shake her shoulders like when someone runs their fingernails across a blackboard.)
Tall Guy: No, no. Shes fair game if you ask me, sorry buddy!
Chandler: Oh, just this! (turns around and has a paint lid stuck to the back of his pants.) Yknow what its my fault really, because the couch is usually where we keep the varnish.
Rachel: Oh Ah! (Sees a big stuffed gorilla) Oh my gosh theres something every mother needs, a giant stuffed gorilla that takes up the entire apartment! What are people think (Reads the card) Oh you guys I love it.
Phoebe: Oh thats all right. Im still full from your homemade potato chips.
Rachel: Okay Ross come on lets just forget about the condoms.
Rachel: Aw, its unbelievable! Wow! She is kicking so much! Oh, shes like umm oh whos that kind of annoying girl soccer player?
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
[Scene: Lara and Jenis Massage, Phoebe is interviewing for a job.]
Rachel: I know, its sick.
Monica: Okay, does it involve something to do with Petes computer company?
Joey: Dude! Hernia operations cost like, a lot probably. Besides its getting darker and more painful, that means its healing.
Rachel: Umm, well lets see uh, this one is Tom Brokaw.
[Scene: Rosss birthday, Joey is now trying to get his car out while Ross is directing him.]
(Ross steps onto the bottom rung of the ladder and then steps on Joeys chest.)
Ross: (grabbing the wheel) What-what are you doing?! Are youOkay thats not funny! Just stop horsing around!
[Cut to the hallway outside the room, Ross is going to see which table hes at and sees a beautiful woman doing the same thing.]
Chandler: (Pointing to the table and picking up the box.) Is that your tiny little box, thats too small to put anything in?
Chandler: Okay so you mean no as in, "Gee Chandler, what an interesting idea. Lets discuss it before we reject it completely."
Joey: Wh-wh-whats going on? Wh-whats this about L.A.?
Dana: Apparently Howies editing now. Yeah, he-he-he calls me up and asks me if he can edit my new movie. Can you believe that?! Yknow I-I-I havent spoken to him in like ten years and he asks me for a favor!
Ross: WhatYoure not serious. I mean shes a very nice woman, but there is no way we can take eight weeks of her. Shell drive us totally crazy.
Joey: Oh, its Rosss bachelor party.
Ross: Pheebs, come on, you didnt kill anybody, these people just happened to die when you went to the dentist. Its, its, its just ah, a coincidence.
Joshua: Its this way? Sorry. (He walks past her and she again admires his butt.)
Ross: Oh, yeah, no problems. Its all taken care of.
(They go into the hallway and see Mr. Treeger watching one of New Yorks bravest breakdown Monica and Chandlers door with an ax.]
Lewis: No hes not! Hes totally yanking your chain! Hes done this with three other teachers!
Joey: Theres this woman, that I like. A lot. Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. And I could never do that to the guy, yknow? Ccause were really good friends.
Gunther: Okay, but the moneys good, plus you get to stare at Rachel as much as you want.
Monica: Do you wanna live outside?! Because its gettin cold! (To Phoebe) She gets tons of catalogs and umm, shell fold down the pages of the things she thinks that Id like.
Monica: Sorry, lets go back! Cause youve got more to say.
Rachel: Yeah, we could. Oh hey look! Theres some Kappa Kappa Deltas! I was a Kappa. (to them) Hey sisters! (They ignore her.) (To Monica) Wow, we really are bitches.
Chandler: Hey Rach! (She breaks up and goes back into Monicas.)
Chandler: Look, its my wedding day okay? If you were getting married I would never do anything to upset you.
(Joey hugs Rosss neck and has a look of complete contentment on his face which, after a short while, causes David and Matt to start laughing.)
Phoebe: Oh, theres a cab! Taxi!! (The cab stops and she opens the door.) Good timing, my God, huh? Here you go. (Pushes Rachel in and closes the door.)
Monica: I know, but now we have this second one and it just, it feels like its snowballing, yknow?
Joey: (on phone) Well, so anyway Beth, what Im saying is I shouldve considered your feelings before I went home with you that night. Ive ah, Ive recently learned whats it like to be on your side of it, and Im sorry. So, do you think you can forgive me? (listens) Great. Thanks. Okay, bye. (He sits down and crosses out something, and dials the phone again.) Hello, Jennifer? (listens) Oh hi, Mrs. Loreo, is Jennifer there? (listens) Oh, shes not home huh? (listens) Well ah, actually I kinda need to talk to you too.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Emma continues to cry.]
Eric: Oh, I have a friend whos a cop and he got it for me.
Monica: Chandler, if you thought I was going to get you porn for Valentines Day (pulls a video out of a basket) you were right! Apparently, its about a young girl who moves to the big city, you know, in search of stardom, but ends up having sex with a lot of guys! Yeah, it got four starts! (looks closer) Oh, wait a minute. Those arent stars. Anyway, you want to take a look?
Joey: Rach! Hey! Its fine! Youre at Joeys!
Written by: Michael Curtis and Gregory S. Malins Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Rachel: Come on! They rushed into this thing so fast its ridiculous! I mean, theyre gonna be engaged for like what? A year? And somewhere along the way, one of them is gonna realise what theyve done and theyre call the whole thing off. Im telling ya, youre gonna be dancing at my wedding before youre dancing at theres.
Joey: Its no big deal. Hey, yknow, you do what you gotta do. Right?
Phoebe: Oh, I told the stripper to be here at five. Thats good right?
Joey: No way! Its mine!!
Chandler: No! Look, I dont cry! Its not a big deal! Okay?!
Elizabeth: Yknow what daddy? If you dont like Ross, thats fine. It doesnt matter to me, Im gonna go out with him anyway.
Ross: Well, it turns out that she is going to Daytona for spring break woo-hoo. That means, that means wet T-shirt contests, guys doing shots off of girls bodies, waking up next to people you dont even know
Joey: Hes doin some thinkin!
Chandler: Nancy Thompsons getting fired! (Monica slaps him on the shoulder.)
Agency guy: (to Erica) Well, then if there’s nothing else, then the two of us should talk.
Phoebe: Hey. Here. (Hands Chandler a copy of her flyer and sees the picture of Ralph.) Ohh, whos the silver fox?
(They all laugh indifferently, except Chandler, whos a little angry.)
Rachel: Oh my God! Thats so great! Im so happy for you guys!
[Scene: Rachels Office, Joey is knocking on the door holding a hand over a spot on his shirt.]
Rachel: Oh I dont know honey. Its gonna be really late.
Joey's Co-Star: We would, but when we went to exhume Jessicas body, it was gone.
Phoebe Sr: Its open! Come in!
Ross: (while Rachel is finishing her rant) Okay! Okay! Okay! Its okay. (Rachel stops.) Its okay. Hey, its too weird for you, I wont see her again.
Joey: Oh, all blank, and no blank, makes blank a blank blank. Oh no-no-no, no, the end when Jack almost kills them all with that blank, but then at last second they get away. Aww!
Joey: Oh my God! Thats huge! (Hugs him.) Wait a minute, why come I wasnt invited? And who was going to be your best man? Dont say, "Ross." Do not say, "Ross."
Chandler: So? What? What? Theyre gone! Monicas gonna freak!
Joey: Okay, I know it sounds crazy, but I think it might work. Yknow? The only problem is, Carls acting is (Does the international hand symbol for so-so.)
Ray: And this is Duncan (points to the cameraman) and Erin, theyre gonna help us out with the audition. So uh, lets get the camera rolling.
Ross: Why?! Why on the lips?! (He wipes his mouth on Monicas wrap and walks off, leaving Aunt Millie stunned.)
Ross: Oh, no, Mom, its just Monica this year.
Ross: (interrupting him) YeahNo-but-but-but-but! Were just gonna go home and take a shower. Now, thats not scary right?
Ross: Hey Pheebs, could you please not put your feet up on my new (On Rachels glare) old sheet?
Phoebe: Okay. Then, take the tiara back and let me hold the musket again. (He hands it to her and Phoebe poses in front of one of those small mirrors.) Somethings missing. Its not Okay oh, let me see the ring my friend picked out.
Joey: But I got to act with a robot Pheebs, and-and I dont know anything about technology! I cant even use Chandlers computer except to find porn! And-and thats only cause its right there when you turn it on!
Rachel: Huh. Well, uh, thats uh, thats interesting. (She goes over and retrieves her note.)
Chandler: Oh thats so funny because we found someone too.
Joey: Girls say it to me all the time! And believe me, if shes anything like me, shes just gonna be relieved.
Rachel: Yeah, love. Its a tricky business isnt it?
Joey: Hey, thats never gonna make it all the way over here, buddy!