words in movies
Monica: Theres still so much to do. Have you written your vows yet?
Monica: (handing him a pad of paper and a pen) Lets just do it right now. Okay? It wont be hard. Just say whats in your heart. (She goes back, sits down, and starts feverishly writing.)
Chandler: (watching in her) (in his head) Look at her go! She must love me more than I love her! Whats wrong with me? Ooh, dont open that door.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica has hit a writers block as Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
Monica: You have to help me! Im supposed to be writing my vows and all I have is this! (Shows them what shes been working on.)
Chandler: All right, theres a nuclear holocaust, Im the last man on Earth. Would you go out with me?
Phoebe: Well maybe you dont talk about your feelings back then. Maybe you just say something about yknow all the things that hes taught you. Like (They all try to think about one example and dont succeed.) Or all the things you taught him.
Monica: Now everybody knows the basic erogenous zones. (She starts labelling them) You got one, two three, four (Chandler is shocked to find out theres more than three), five, six, and seven!
Chandler: (shocked) There are seven?! (Points to one) Thats one?
Monica: Its kind of an important one!
[Cut to Ross leaping into Chandlers Hotel room in London in The One With Rosss Wedding.]
[Cut to Chandler opening the door to his and Joeys apartment to reveal Monica standing there with a turkey on her head in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
[Cut to Chandler entering his and Monicas apartment alight with a thousand candles in The One With The Proposal.]
Monica: Chandler In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to fall in love with my best my best Theres a reason why girls dont do this!
Ross: Hows Monica coming along with her vows?
Phoebe: Well lets just say its shes lucky she has a sweet ass, cause shes not so good at the writing.
Phoebe: Well lets just hope it works. Yknow nine out of ten marriages end in divorce?
Ross: Phoebe thats not true.
Phoebe: Yeah, youre right. Hows the Mrs.?
Joey: I know! I mean its not like we werent cool about it.
[This starts a series of flashbacks starting with Monica and Chandler forcing Joey to keep his new found knowledge of their secret relationship in Monicas bedroom in The One With All the Kips.]
[Cut to Phoebe in Rosss new apartment looking at Monica and Chandler and what theyre about to do in The One Where Everybody Finds Out.]
[Cut to later in that episode. Rachel and Phoebe are going to a movie from Monica and Chandlers, and as Phoebe walks by Chandler she pinches him on the butt and exits.]
[Cut to later in that episode. Monica and Chandler are confronting Joey in his apartment about Phoebes knowledge.]
[Cut to later in that episode. Phoebe is telling Rachel in Monica and Chandlers that Chandler wants to make a date with Phoebe.]
[Cut to later in that episode. Chandler is in his bathroom with Monica, and hes panicking on how far Phoebe is pushing him.]
Phoebe: Yknow, youre friends getting married, its gotta change things.
Chandler: Whats going on?
Joey: Yeah, you can get a Volvo. If thats what you really want.
Monica: Oh thats so sweet.
Monica: Yeah, I dont hear Chandlers and he doesnt hear mine.
(They spilt into their sexes and the girls read Monicas and the guys read Chandlers. The girls gasp and groan and the guys laugh hysterically.
Phoebe: (To Monica) Oh, thats beautiful.
Joey: (To Chandler) (laughing) Funny one! Thats good!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Ross and Joey are reading Chandlers new vows.]
Chandler: I stole Monicas and changed the name.
Joey: Yeah, I dont think thats what it is.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is setting a romantic dinner for Susan as there is a knock on the door.]
Rachel: Relax! Its not like its Citizen Kane!
[Scene: The Hallway Outside Rosss Apartment, Ross is walking towards his apartment and sees Rachel sitting in front of the door.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! Monicas just gonna kill you.
Ross: Yeah. Wait a minute. What are you doing here? Joey Tribbiani without a date on Valentines Day? Whats going on, huh? Girl trouble?
Rachel: Yknow what? Lets, lets talk later.
Kathy: Yeah, I do. Of course, I learned at my aunts dog grooming shop, but hey, what do you say?
[Scene: Rachels old room, Ross and Joey enter.]
Monica: Now everybody knows the basic erogenous zones. (She starts labelling them) You got one, two three, four (Chandler is shocked to find out theres more than three), five, six, and seven!
Ross: Fine, yknow what, thats it. From now on, Joey, I want you to be my best man.
(Chandler and Monica both turn, take the rings from Ross and Rachel respectively, and place them on each others fingers.)
Phoebe: Well at Monicas you can eat(Suddenly cracks up.)
Ross: Come on, you-you cant tell me you actually believe that-that theres a woman inside that cat!
Dr. Stryker Remoray: Good morning. (He walks over to the bed, leans down, and whispers to him.) Drake, its your brother Stryker. Can you hear me?
Ross: No, because thats the right thing to do.
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Chandler enters. Ross is putting on makeup.]
Joey: Yeah, thats sad. Mashuga nut?
Joey: (seriously) Yes, its a highly controversial procedure.
Ross: Sweetie thats it.
Ross: Yeah, thats our baby.
(Rachel whispers in Joeys ear.)
The Director: All right, its time to act, my talking props. (Both Joey and Kate just look at each other.)
Monica: Wait a minute, she isnt Shes not the one who you
Joey: Hey! I did not cry my eyes out!! Come on! Its like the end of an era! No more J-man and Channies!!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, the gang is watching Joeys debut on Days.]
Phoebe: Monica! Thats not right! Start with where.
Ross: Theres the one!
Monica: Mom�s here? I wanted to have lunch with her today, she told me she was out of town.
Chandler: Lets call em.
Ross: I can show you, I have it on videotape! (Stunned silence) Its an expression.
Joey: (sees hes watching Baywatch) Ohhh. (sees he still has the chick) Ahh! What are you doing?! I thought you were gonna take her back to the store today.
Joey: Six months? Whoa thats rough.
Rachel: Hey! Hey-hey, now this was no ones fault Pheebs. Okay? It was an accident.
Rachel: What, because thats your answer to everything?
Rachel: Well yeah, I wish that you would. (He opens the top drawer.) Well, no its not in there! (Closes it.) How about that drawer? (She points to the bottom one and he opens it. She doesnt see the folder she planted and bends over to check.)
Ross: Thats less embarrassing, yes. Yes I was.
Rachel: Well now its an empty bar.
Monica: Thats a good idea! Wait, do you know how to waiter?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is being yelled at by her dad over the phone, and hes been going on for so long Rachel is holding the phone away from her ear and reading a book.]
Janine: Are you guys going to Chandlers for Thanksgiving?
Monica: (taking Rachels hand) Sweetie okay. Its okay. Everybody made it to the wedding. Im fine.
[Cut to Monica and Chandlers just after Monica has finished telling Chandler what happened.]
(A woman walks by and smiles at Rosss hair.)
Phoebe: Well, how about a compromise then, okay? What if its like yknow, Chanoey?
Chandler: Thats the magic story you use when you wanna have sex!
Paul: Whats the matter honey? Did you see a little mouse?
Ross: Oh thats not pretty.
Ross: Are you sure shes in the cat, or have you been taking your grandmas glycoma medicine again?
Mr. Geller: Its the key to my Porsche. Well, the key to your Porsche.
Chandler: Do you think that theres a town in Missouri or some place called Sample? And ah, as youre driving into town theres-theres like a sign, and it says Youre in Sample. (He says it like urine sample.)
Monica: Oh no! I dont know anything about cooking. I had to ask someone what its called when the, when the water makes those little bubbles.
Phoebe: Oh, so you're Monicas boss?
Phoebe: Well, one of you has to take the first step! And it should be you, because shes the one whos leaving. Its harder for her!
Phoebe: Well, its no pesto.
Chandler: Whats funny about that?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is about to debut Hotel Monica (formerly known as Rachels Room) to Phoebe and Rachel.]
Phoebe: Oh. (Picks it up.) Its just so unexpected! I I uh Boy Ill tell you its just such an honor to be nominated for a Nobel Prize and yknow to win one for a massage. Especially after having just won a Tony award for best actress in
Monica: Well maybe Im ready now. I mean, its a little scary, but maybe its right.
Rachel: Well dontWhat happened to Jessicas body?!
Rachel: Oh my God, Monicas gonna go out with a millionaire.
Rachel: Oh! (Motions to Joeys co-star.)
[Scene Joey and Janines new apartment, Janine is there. Joey walks in to see Janine bent over, stretching.]
Phoebe Sr: Oh, I-I-I understand all that, but its justthat was my puppy.
Bob: Hey! Hows my pal Toby doing today?
Joey: Rach look, I really dont think thats such a great
Chandler: I think its best sir.
Joey: Really?! I like your natural color. Come on man, its a great part. Look, check it out. Im the lead guys best friend and I wait for him in this bar and save his seat. Listen-listen. Im sorry, that seats saved.
Monica: Rach, theres something uh, important I have to tell you.
Rachel: (Pause) Yeah, shes gay.
Chandler: Sure, whats up?
Joey: Thats not whipped! Whipped is wh-tcssh!
Phoebe: Okay thats so generous!
Monica: Oh no sweetie, no! This is my fault, I wasnt clear! Im really sorry. And listen, you take as much time as you need to move out okay? Theres absolutely no rush.
[Scene: Rachels Outer Office, Tag and her are arriving.]
Phoebe: Yeah, otherwise, I mean thats, thats, thats just it for us hanging out together. Y'know is that what you want? (they both look away) Can you be civil?
(Theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it.)
Joey: (Checks to see if shes drooling on his shirt.) Okay. Okay, okay, hey. (Lays her down and covers her with a blanket.) There we go, lets get your feet up there. (Looks at her) Good night, Kate. Sweet dreams. (Picks up a garbage can) Im gonna put this can right here in case you have to hurl.
Ross: Hey, if thats what you want to do Im not gonna say no.
Monica: Congratulations, I think youve found the worlds thinnest argument.
Monica: Oh thats right, thats what Id sound like if I exploded.
Helena: Before we go on with the show, I just want to say to the bride and groom how lucky they are to have found each other. In every life, a little rain must fall. Fortunately, in my life (Four guys wearing rubber boots, shorts, hats, and nothing else carrying umbrellas run onto the stage.) (Singing) Its raining men!
Chandler: Thats our phone number. Now look, I know I kinda sprung this whole me moving out on thing, so why dont I justwhy dont I just cover you for a while?
Joey: Maybe Monicas playing a joke on ya. Yknow? Getting her own husband a hooker, thats pretty funny.
Phoebe: (walking back in with her hand over her eyes.) Umm, wheres my purse?
Joey: Look, theres nothing I can do for him right now, hes still in his sweat pants, thats still Phase One. Y'know? Ill be back for Phase Two, I would never miss Phase Two.
Ross: Its not that. Okay? Annulments are more complicated than I
Monica: Oh my God! Ohh! Look at this one! Its so beautiful!
Phoebe: Oh good! (And theres general excitement.)
Ross: Ahh, sorry, nothing you can do about it. Its one of my ah, rights as the ex-boyfriend. (closes his eyes again) Oop, oh yeah!
Phoebe: Wait a second! So, whats new with you?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its 0-Dark:30, in other words its really, really early. Everyones asleep, and all through the apartments not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. That is except for the chick, who turns out to be a rooster and is crowing in the sun. Needless to say, this awakens Monica and Rachel who rush into their living room, searching for the cause of the sound.]
Ross: (laughs) Umm thats thats a little misleading.
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Joey and Monica are arranging flowers. Chandler walks in.]
Phoebe: No, its me. Phoebe!
Ross: Forget it, shes destroying it.
Phoebe: Ursulas fianc�e?
Monica: What?! Theres only been like four kids.
Rachel: Okay, whats your name?
Phoebe: Two weeks? Thats it?