words in movies
Joey: Oh, its a poster for that World War I movie that Im in, check it out.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, its already generating Oscar buzz.
Rachel: Thats right, still no baby! (To Monica, Joey, and Chandler on the couch) Come on people! Please make some room!
Ross: Look, I-I know how miserable you are, I wish there was something I can do. I mean I wish I were a seahorse. (She glares at him) Because with seahorses its the male, they carry the babies. And then also umm, Id be far away in the sea. (He sits back down.)
(Rachel turns and looks at the group on the couch and they move over. Chandler measures the room theyve made with his arm and decides its not enough and they all move over again.)
Rachel: (interrupting her) Oh Phoebe, thats a great story. Can you tell it to me when youre getting me some iced tea? (Phoebe gets up and Rachel groans.) (To the baby) Oh God, get out! Get out!! Get out!! Get out!!
Chandler: Lets. (Everyone gets up and leaves Rachel.)
(Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.)
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! Great news, I was able to get you and one guest tickets to your premiere.
Joey: Oh my God. So thats it?! I only get to bring one guest?
Monica: Well, well Ross didnt care enough to be here, so I think hes out. You snooze you lose.
Chandler: Hes not snoozing, hes teaching a class.
Monica: Well then somebodys snoozing. Joey, not that this uh should affect you at all, but if you were to pick me, I was planning on wearing a sequined dress, cut down to here. (Points to her stomach just above her belly button.)
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! I mean Im sorry, I wish I can take everybody, but yknow Chandler always supported my career. Hes paid for acting classes and head shots and stuff and well this will be my way of paying you back.
Joey: Its not just the stuff he paid for, I mean its-its everything. Yknow? He read lines with me. He-he went with me on auditions when I was really nervous, and then he consoled me after I didnt get parts that I really wanted. You always believed in me man. Even, even when I didnt believe in myself.
Rachel: Oh, I have to pee. If I dont come out in five minutes its because Ive choked to death on the potpourri stink. (Goes into the bathroom.)
Monica: Shes over a week late! She gotta have it today, right?
Phoebe: I dont know. I-I think its still gonna be a while.
Rachel: (calling from the bathroom) All right, whos turn is it to help me get up!
Phoebe: No ones here! (Monica looks at her.) Oh damnit!
Chandler: This is so exciting! Its so glamorous! People taking our picture. How do I look?
Chandler: Its just so glamorous.
Monica: Damnit! Damnit!! Heres your fifty bucks! (Pays Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Its interesting that you lost. Now, I forget, do you like to lose?
Ross: (entering) Hey is Rachel here? We have a doctors appointment.
Monica: Shes in the bathroom.
Rachel: (entering) All right, all right. Lets go!
Ross: Uh, do you wanna go change first? The doctors keeping the office open late for us, but if you hurry
Ross: Really? You dont think thats a little inappropriate. (Shes wearing a tank top and has her belly sticking out.)
Rachel: Oh uh-uh pal! Dont call me mommy! Its bad enough you call your own mother that. (He looks at Monica.)
[Scene: Inside Joeys Premiere, he is intently watching the movie.]
Joey: (To Chandler) Okay, this is it. Its my big fight scene coming up. (He looks over and Chandler and notices that hes asleep.)
[Scene: Dr. Longs Office, Ross and Rachel are waiting for the doctor. Ross is drumming his fingers on the bed.]
Rachel: (silently) Okay. (Pause) Seriously, breathe louder Ross! Thats great!
Ross: Yknow we should probably ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby thats half human and half pure evil!
Dr. Long: Okay, theres an herbal tea you can drink.
Dr. Long: You can take some caster oil, theres eating spicy foods
Dr. Long: taking a long walk, and then theres the one thats proved most effective: sex.
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, the movie is ending and it takes the applause to wake up Chandler.]
Joey: You fell asleep!! There was no kangaroo! They didnt take any of my suggestions! Thats for coming buddy. Ill see you later. (Starts to walk out.)
Monica: Well what is it? What is it? If its gonna help bring the baby here, like today. I mean, I think you should do it.
Ross: Its sex.
Monica: Im just saying its been a really long time for you. I mean, women have needs. Do it, get yours!
Monica: All right, lets be practical, if Ross isnt willing to do it, hes not the only guy in the world you can have sex with. You can borrow ChandlerChandler is good!
Ross: What?! While shes been going through this hell, youve been making money?! Youre betting on your friend staying in this misery?! (Phoebe lowers her head and shakes it yes.)
Rachel: Oh honey, dont worry. I really do feel like tomorrows the day.
Joey: Okay, so thats another five hundred. Five hundred and five hundred, thats (Pauses to figure it out.)
Rachel: Ross IWe tried all the spicy food. Its not working.
Rachel: Oh come on Ross, why are we wasting our time with this other stuff?! We know whats gonna work! Its doctor recommended!
Ross: Always a great way to get in a mans pants.
Rachel: Oh, I know it. Youre right. Thats not sexy. Oh Oh! (Drops a fork on the floor.) Whoops! Oh, I seem to have dropped my fork. Let me just bed over and get it. (Tries too, but cant quite seem to make it.) Oh God!
Rachel: Oh wow! What now Ross youre not gonna talk? How on earth will you ever annoy me? Oh wait a minute, I know. (Mimics his breathing.) I mean youd think the damn jalepeno wouldve cleared up your sinuses, but no!! Thats not enough (Ross jumps over and kisses her.) What are you doing?!
Monica: Thats it. Im done. I dont care when the baby comes, no more betting.
Monica: How did you know that?! (Runs to yell at Joeys apartment.) Joey! Chandler!! Its time!
Monica: You know everything!! Oh wait, double or nothing. I bet you the baby is over seven pounds. (Phoebe isnt interested.) I bet you it has hair. (Shes still not interested.) I bet you its a girl.
Phoebe: We know its a girl! (Exits.)
Phoebe: Oh, its Ross on one of his drives!
Rachel: No-no-no! No-no-no! Please Ross, I cant! I cant do it! (Starts to freak out.) Its just gonna freak me out!!!
Joey: Hey Monica its Joey. Listen uh, Phoebe and I smell gas comin from your apartment.
Phoebe: Oh my God, hes lost it. Hes totally lost it.
[Cut to Monica and Rachels apartment, all are there.]
[Cut to Chandlers bedroom.]
Chandler: You kidding? Youre the most beautiful woman in most rooms (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whats going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Joey: Hey! Youre here! Great! Great! Great! Lets get going buddy, weve got a scene to shoot!
[Scene: Allesandros, Monica is cooking.]
Joey: Yeah, it is. Its really tough. Yknow sometimes I thinkWow!! Nice move!
Rachel: Well, Joshuas coming in tomorrow and since I dont have the guts to ask him out, Im going to sell him a coat and put this note in the pocket.
[Scene: Joeys work, selling Christmas trees.]
Rachel: Okay, well that�s now the third sign that I should not leave Emma.
Phoebe: No-no-no, but I am mad! I am mad! Because this stuff is everything that is wrong with the world! And its all sitting up in my living room and all I can think about is how I dont have that lamp!
Monica: Its kind of an important one!
Chandler: Maybe thats because soy-burgers suck!
The Doctor: Thats it.
[Cut back to Rachels party, everyone is now eating breakfast, except Rachel.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Joey is entering]
Rachel: I cant believe Mark didnt call. Its Sunday night, and he didnt call.
Ross: Thats no problem.
Joey: Now thats a thinker.
Phoebe: (pushing Monica back onto the couch) Its so inspired! Look at him! Look at him go!
Fireman #2: No, there was an appliance left on in the bathroom. Its looks like a curling iron.
Tag: Its lame, I know. But Im a goal-oriented person, very eager to learn
Chandler: Well, Kathys last boyfriend was Joey.
Joey: Thats kinda nice.
Monica: Its a globe and, a pencil sharpener.
Emily: Thats Carol with your son!
Hoshi: Its just hard when I know I have e-mail I cant get!
Rachel: Well Thats yknowThatsWeve been alone for the last twenty minutes were doing okay. Besides yknow what? I-IMaybe we wont be alone, cause lately I-Ithings have been happening between me and Ross, yknow? Right before I went into labor, we-we had this kiss. Yknow? So it might be the the beginning of something.
Monica: All right, come on guys, lets go! Tie score, and were runnin out of time. Forty-two!! Thirty-eight!! Hike! (the timer sounds as Monica throws the ball to Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Yeah, that was Leslie calling again to see if we can get back together. Thats the twentieth time today! And good luck Leslie!
Ross: 11, unbelievable 11 is correct. (The guys celebrate.) All right, thats 4 for the guys. Ladies, youre up.
Chandler: Well this is great. Yknow, those cameras were the only thing that was gonna cheer Monica up today, shes really depressed.
Phoebe: Well, umm, my Moms friend, Phoebe, is actually my birth Mom.
Phoebe: He is! But hes getting divorcedRoss! Maybe you know him.
Monica: Oh-ho-ho, sweetie, sweetie, you gotta stop saying that, now. Its no big deal, its not even worth mentioning, you see we all do it all the time. See watch this, Ben, Ben, Ben. (goes over and starts hitting her head on the post) Ow, Monica bang! (does it again) Everybody bang. (repeats) Ben bang. (repeats) Rachel bang. (repeats) Bang, Rachel bang! Oh, isnt that fun?
Ross: I like this one. (Points to it.) It seems to say, "I love you and thats why I have to kill you."
Carol: Whats too much fun?
Joey: Thats right! And what are you not gonna do?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is coming home. As we walks through the door, and without looking up, he goes to throw his keys on the foosball table, only, its gone and the keys it the floor. He then looks up at an empty apartment; everything is gone except for the entertainment center and that ceramic dog. Even the food in the fridge!]
[This starts a series of flashbacks starting with Monica and Chandler forcing Joey to keep his new found knowledge of their secret relationship in Monicas bedroom in The One With All the Kips.]
Monica: Please, could you just try it for me? Come on, I used all my best stuff! I-I-I lit some candles. I put on some music. I used bath salts, plus bubble bath! And got you this little plastic Navy ship. So its a boy bath!
Joey: Its not that bad.
Joey: Whats up with Gene?
Rachel: Shes totally right! When we were together, you got all freaked out about Mark and there was nothing going on.
[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler & Nina are locked in a passionate embrace. Someone knocks, so they hurriedly separate to stare out of the window. Chandlers boss opens the door.]
Sophie: Yknow why? Shes got the Christmas bonus list in there. I saw her working on it this morning.
Janice: Whats the matter? Is something wrong? Do you have to stay?
Rachel: No, hey, come on, if he asked you first, thats only fair. (leaves)
Chandler: Oh, I have to get married in James Bonds tux!
Ross: Yes, thats what I was going to ask, thank you.
Phoebe: If shes no fun, why do you want to date her at all?
Chandler: Because hes crazy. Okay? He came up to me earlier and thanked me for my very moving performance in Titanic.
Rachel: HEY!! Do you have to do that? Its Saturday!
Dr. Green: Hes Bobby Bobby?
The Singing Man: (singing, duh) Mornings here! Sunshine is here! The sky is clear, the mornings here! The mornings here!
Chandler: Yknow what? Its gonna be okay. Yknow what? Shes probably not gonna even want to come.
(She escapes, fortunately so distracting Mr. Douglas, that he misses Chandlers expression of alarm & guilt.)
Rachel: Its okay! Its okay! It kicked once, itll kick again!
Ross: (to Rachel) But work comes first! (to Mark) Oh hey, but thats sad about you though, what happened? Burn out? Burn all out, did ya?
Joey: So the ah, plays pretty great, huh?
Rachel: No!! No! Hes not married, or involved, with anyone!
Ross: Ugh, shes saying good-bye to her uncle.
Phoebe: Thats too hard. Too hard!
Joey: Whats the game?! Whats the game?!
(She turns her head away and when shes not looking, Phoebe shakes her head and mouths, "No, Im not." Both Joey and Ross smile, look at each other, and then stop smiling.)
Rachel: Oh, now see thats a fancy but.
Chandler: Fine, lets do it.
Rachel: Phoebe, its okay. I like living with Joey.
Emily: Ohh, its a bit small.
(Its Rachels turn to open the door.)
Rachel: I know (she touches Emma’s head) but they’re just so beautiful! Oh, my God, I just pulled one out.
Joey: Hey, what happened to your fancy chefs jacket? (sees theres a burn spot on it)
Chandler: Oh, well, thats great!
Chandler: Oh yeah, then uh, what was Phoebes song about?
The Singing Man: (singing) Mornings here! The mornings here!
The Museum Official: Yes. Were very popular. Theres a two-year waiting list. Sorry! (She kinda storms out with the couple.)
Ross: Thats a good point. So uh, how long are you gonna punish him?
Monica: Chandler, thats like your fourth cup of coffee!
Rachel: Because, hes my friend.
Hooker: Uh, no. But I could pretend to strip, but thats gonna cost extra. Okay, heres the extras, handcuffs, spanking (Chandler grunts for her not to continue and Joey pulls him back into the kitchen.)
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (He goes to the closet, moves the clothes out of the way, and notices an empty hanger. He takes the empty hanger and bends it all out of shape. Then he holds it out as if hes giving it to her.) Yes honey, I made it myself. (He throws it down and goes to her chest, grabs something, goes to the bed table, and takes out a pair of scissors. He turns around and holds the scissors to the crotch of the panties he just removed.) I cant do it. I cant do it. (He throws them both down and continues looking. He opens another closet door and finds a tape.) Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! (He runs out into the living room.)
Ross: Whats wah-pah?
Rachel: Oh, thats sweet.
Chandler: Its not something to be proud of, okay? You have to go to a sleep clinic!
Ross: What? Rach! Come on, thats terrible! Theyre uh theyre babies. Theyre-theyre all beautiful.
Rachel: Oh yeah, no, whats that?
Monica: I know that theres no hole there, I just really liked that picture.
[Scene: The beach house, Rachels bedroom. She is finishing up writing something as Ross walks through the door.]
Ross: Theres no or in mind. What is wrong with these pants?!!
Chandler: Its 6:00.
Chandler: Steps! (He opens the door to his apartment to Ross and Joey looking at the new Playboy) Slut! (Ross and Joey quickly hide the Playboy behind their backs. Chandler wonders into the girls apartment.) You will all be very happy to hear that Kathy is sleeping with that guy!
Rachel: Well, thats great.
Rachel: Ohh, here you are. I was looking for you before. Joshuas gone so you and Emily are free to go.
Joshua: Then uh, whats-whats this? (Shows her the real anti-theft device.)
Phoebe: Im not gonna right to you! Thats not real!
[Scene: Kathys apartment, Chandler is knocking on the door.]
Richard: Yeah hes no good. Do you ever (pause) think about me in a (pause) non-eye doctor way?