words in movies
Joey: Oh, its a poster for that World War I movie that Im in, check it out.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, its already generating Oscar buzz.
Rachel: Thats right, still no baby! (To Monica, Joey, and Chandler on the couch) Come on people! Please make some room!
Ross: Look, I-I know how miserable you are, I wish there was something I can do. I mean I wish I were a seahorse. (She glares at him) Because with seahorses its the male, they carry the babies. And then also umm, Id be far away in the sea. (He sits back down.)
(Rachel turns and looks at the group on the couch and they move over. Chandler measures the room theyve made with his arm and decides its not enough and they all move over again.)
Rachel: (interrupting her) Oh Phoebe, thats a great story. Can you tell it to me when youre getting me some iced tea? (Phoebe gets up and Rachel groans.) (To the baby) Oh God, get out! Get out!! Get out!! Get out!!
Chandler: Lets. (Everyone gets up and leaves Rachel.)
(Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.)
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! Great news, I was able to get you and one guest tickets to your premiere.
Joey: Oh my God. So thats it?! I only get to bring one guest?
Monica: Well, well Ross didnt care enough to be here, so I think hes out. You snooze you lose.
Chandler: Hes not snoozing, hes teaching a class.
Monica: Well then somebodys snoozing. Joey, not that this uh should affect you at all, but if you were to pick me, I was planning on wearing a sequined dress, cut down to here. (Points to her stomach just above her belly button.)
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! I mean Im sorry, I wish I can take everybody, but yknow Chandler always supported my career. Hes paid for acting classes and head shots and stuff and well this will be my way of paying you back.
Joey: Its not just the stuff he paid for, I mean its-its everything. Yknow? He read lines with me. He-he went with me on auditions when I was really nervous, and then he consoled me after I didnt get parts that I really wanted. You always believed in me man. Even, even when I didnt believe in myself.
Rachel: Oh, I have to pee. If I dont come out in five minutes its because Ive choked to death on the potpourri stink. (Goes into the bathroom.)
Monica: Shes over a week late! She gotta have it today, right?
Phoebe: I dont know. I-I think its still gonna be a while.
Rachel: (calling from the bathroom) All right, whos turn is it to help me get up!
Phoebe: No ones here! (Monica looks at her.) Oh damnit!
Chandler: This is so exciting! Its so glamorous! People taking our picture. How do I look?
Chandler: Its just so glamorous.
Monica: Damnit! Damnit!! Heres your fifty bucks! (Pays Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Its interesting that you lost. Now, I forget, do you like to lose?
Ross: (entering) Hey is Rachel here? We have a doctors appointment.
Monica: Shes in the bathroom.
Rachel: (entering) All right, all right. Lets go!
Ross: Uh, do you wanna go change first? The doctors keeping the office open late for us, but if you hurry
Ross: Really? You dont think thats a little inappropriate. (Shes wearing a tank top and has her belly sticking out.)
Rachel: Oh uh-uh pal! Dont call me mommy! Its bad enough you call your own mother that. (He looks at Monica.)
[Scene: Inside Joeys Premiere, he is intently watching the movie.]
Joey: (To Chandler) Okay, this is it. Its my big fight scene coming up. (He looks over and Chandler and notices that hes asleep.)
[Scene: Dr. Longs Office, Ross and Rachel are waiting for the doctor. Ross is drumming his fingers on the bed.]
Rachel: (silently) Okay. (Pause) Seriously, breathe louder Ross! Thats great!
Ross: Yknow we should probably ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby thats half human and half pure evil!
Dr. Long: Okay, theres an herbal tea you can drink.
Dr. Long: You can take some caster oil, theres eating spicy foods
Dr. Long: taking a long walk, and then theres the one thats proved most effective: sex.
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, the movie is ending and it takes the applause to wake up Chandler.]
Joey: You fell asleep!! There was no kangaroo! They didnt take any of my suggestions! Thats for coming buddy. Ill see you later. (Starts to walk out.)
Monica: Well what is it? What is it? If its gonna help bring the baby here, like today. I mean, I think you should do it.
Ross: Its sex.
Monica: Im just saying its been a really long time for you. I mean, women have needs. Do it, get yours!
Monica: All right, lets be practical, if Ross isnt willing to do it, hes not the only guy in the world you can have sex with. You can borrow ChandlerChandler is good!
Ross: What?! While shes been going through this hell, youve been making money?! Youre betting on your friend staying in this misery?! (Phoebe lowers her head and shakes it yes.)
Rachel: Oh honey, dont worry. I really do feel like tomorrows the day.
Joey: Okay, so thats another five hundred. Five hundred and five hundred, thats (Pauses to figure it out.)
Rachel: Ross IWe tried all the spicy food. Its not working.
Rachel: Oh come on Ross, why are we wasting our time with this other stuff?! We know whats gonna work! Its doctor recommended!
Ross: Always a great way to get in a mans pants.
Rachel: Oh, I know it. Youre right. Thats not sexy. Oh Oh! (Drops a fork on the floor.) Whoops! Oh, I seem to have dropped my fork. Let me just bed over and get it. (Tries too, but cant quite seem to make it.) Oh God!
Rachel: Oh wow! What now Ross youre not gonna talk? How on earth will you ever annoy me? Oh wait a minute, I know. (Mimics his breathing.) I mean youd think the damn jalepeno wouldve cleared up your sinuses, but no!! Thats not enough (Ross jumps over and kisses her.) What are you doing?!
Monica: Thats it. Im done. I dont care when the baby comes, no more betting.
Monica: How did you know that?! (Runs to yell at Joeys apartment.) Joey! Chandler!! Its time!
Monica: You know everything!! Oh wait, double or nothing. I bet you the baby is over seven pounds. (Phoebe isnt interested.) I bet you it has hair. (Shes still not interested.) I bet you its a girl.
Phoebe: We know its a girl! (Exits.)
Phoebe: Thats it?! You call that a fight? Come on! "We were on a break!" "No we werent!" What happened to you two?!
Joey: (announcer voice to the camera) Lets play Bamboozled!
Rachel: Ross, whats the big deal? So I kissed the guy!
Phoebe: Thats all right, Ill work here. This is goo, next to this plant. (She picks a place in the lobby next to a plant.)
Elizabeth: Just hearing you describe it as forbidden, its really hot.
The Director: (returning) Okay, Im afraid to say this, but lets pick it up where we left off.
Joey: Hey! Look, if it didnt work its because you didnt tell it right! Show me how you did it.
Ross: Thanks. (When shes gone he collapses into Joey.) I-I think Im dying. I really do.
Phoebe: So, he a little enthusiastic, whats wrong with that?
Joey: Oh? Oh! Okay! Okay! Lets hear their plan! Now, whats the future look like for Dina and Bobby?
Joey: That sounds like another word to me! Are you gonna take this seriously? (Theres no response from Chandler.) Okay.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Chandler is sitting on the couch staring at the tape on the coffee table with his eyes huge and his mouth wide open.]
Rachel: Thats so sweet.
Ross: Its funny you should mention diapers.
Monica: Thats it! Right there! Is all I wanted!
Joey: Yeah, but its not a big deal.
Don: Thats exactly what I said. Phoebe, isnt that strange.
Ross: Okay, whats up?
Ross: Oh come on! Thats-thats true.
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey. Whos that?
Joey: God. Hes crazy! Why doesnt he want to be with Rachel?
Gunther: We dont give anything away unless its someones birthday.
(Hes still spitting and Joey holds his script in front of his face.)
Mrs. Green: Now dont worry! Everythings gonna be okay. (Hugs Rachel while she is standing and Rachel is sitting, seeing this Monica decides to join in on the hugging by hugging Mrs. Green from behind her back.)
Rachel: Hes looking at me.
Monica: (the hands still there) When-when you were little you slept through the Grand Canyon. (She actually itches her nose this time.)
Monica: And its so clean!!
Ross: Thats it. Thats it.
Mr. Geller: I think I accidentally used Monicas boxes to keep the water away from the Porsche.
Monica: Rosss parents are my parents!
Joey: And-and theres no danger to her and the baby?
Mrs. Geller: (Looking around at the chapel.) Oh my God! Its like a fairyland.
Nurse: Hes in room 816.
Monica: Thats true! (Happily) I knew I married you for a reason!
Rachel: Come on, its not a big deal! We stayed up all night coming up with a plan so that us dating will not be a problem.
Rachel: Okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay! I got it! I got it! I got it! I cant! I cant! I cant! I cannot go with you and my sister thing. Okay? I just cant. Its just too weird, all right? I imagine the two of you together and I freak out. It freaks me out. I cant do it! I cant do it.
Joey: (looks in the window) Hes not really my type.
Ross: Well lets just say (singing) Rosss caaaaan!
[Cut to later in that episode. Monica and Chandler are confronting Joey in his apartment about Phoebes knowledge.]
Monica: Okay, Joeys gonna catch it, and you and I are gonna block.
Nurse: (calling to the woman) This rooms available.
Ross: And yet somehow its true!
Dina: I cant believe shes really gone. Look around you, all of this is ours. (They move into kiss but; theyre stopped by Joey entering with a huge bandage wrapped around his head.)
Ross: (To Rachel) Squeeze your legs together and cover the babys ears!
Joey: Uh, well hes 33.
The Director: Okay. (to Alex) All right uh, Alex now when Joey says his line, "Take good care of your Momma son," thats your cue to cry. Got it? (Alex nods yes.) All right, lets do this.
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
Janice: Its you. This is yours.
The Fireman: Please reattach this, its against the law to disconnect them.
Rachel: Ooh, I miss dating. Gettin all dressed up and going to a fancy restaurant. Im not gonna be able to do that for so long, and its so much fun! I mean not that sitting at home worrying about giving birth to a sixteen pound baby is not fun.
Cliff: Oh my God! Thats the doctor who was in my room before!
Cliff: That-thats him! You know him?
Rachel: I know! I know, she says its all mass-produced, nothing is authentic, and everyone winds up having the same stuff. (Ross looks at his table.) So come on, shes gonna be here any second! Can we please just cover this up with something?! Please?
Rachel: Oh, shes so tiny. (Starts crying) Whered she go?
Ross: Oh shes shes perfect.
(The band starts to play, and the recessional starts. Ross tries to take Emilys hand, but she snatches it away from him.)
Monica: Oh my God! Its like one mind.
Joey: Whats the matter now?
Monica: Whats the matter?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is trying to erase Chandlers dirty words while he looks on.]
Frank: MY SISTERS GONNA HAVE MY BABY!!!!!!!
Monica: Its okay honey, youll find a name.
Monica: Okay. Its Emma.
Monica: Its clearly an Emma.
Chandler: (giggles) My friends name is Joey.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Joey and Phoebe are reading a scene from Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
Ross: Yeah. Shes putting her down now, thats her. (Points to the nurse putting Emma now.)
Ross: Its its complicated okay?
Phoebe: Okay, you guys. You guys I think I know whats going on here. Okay, you guys STOP!! (They stop.) I know that, I know that youre acting mad because you think that itll make it easier to leave. But deep down youre still really sad. Deep-deep down.
Rachel: Hes perfect, hes never been better.
Rachel: Okay, you guys, just relax. (She goes over to open the door, and as she does, she says.) I doooo. (Sees that its Joshua, not Chandler that knocked on the door.)
[Cut back into Rachels room.]
Chandler: Nooo!! Shes really dull! And she gets this gross mascara goop thing in the corner of her eye!
Ross: Hey, wheres uh, wheres mom?
Evil Bitch: Shes in labor! You like that you sick son of a bitch!
Pete: I want to become the Ultimate Fighting Champion! Its the most intense physical competition in the world, its banned in 49 states!
Joey: Yeah uh look Rach, theres something I gotta tell ya.
[Scene: Rosss apartment, he and Emily are addressing their invitations.]
Joey: I dont know! Maybe shes crazy! (Storms out.)
Mr. Waltham: Well theres one (pointing towards Jack) and theres another (pointing towards Judy).
Ross: Its mine.
Monica: Well, thats okay dad, we-we can wait until later.
[Scene: Chandlers Office Building, Chandler is walking by the elevators and sees Bob standing there.]
[Scene: Rachels Room, Monica is entering.]
Chandler: Joey, you have to tell her whats going on! And what did it look like?!
(Theres a knock on the door and the Nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Ginger: Its okay if it bothers you. Really. I mean the only thing I need to know is: How much it bothers you? because I dont like wasting my time. Am I wasting my time?
Rachel: Shes perfect.
[Scene: Rachels Hospital Room, Ross is sitting next to Rachel.]
Joey: Hey so wheres Ross?
Monica: (to Ross) Honey, its not pushy, he gave her his home number.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Phoebe, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are watching Emma sleep.]
Phoebe: You know thats thats her.
Chandler: (not knowing what hes saying yes to) Yes.
(Chandler smiles and nods then realizes what hes agreed to.)
Rachel: Ugh, those bastards! Lets go.
Chandler: We cant do that thats insane. I mean A he could wake up and B yknow, lets go for it.
Rachel: Yes okay. (Checking the speed dial again.) Well now see this isnt telling us anything. (Reading the speed dial) Joe. Carlos. Peter. Ooh! Peter Luger! T hats a steak house!
Phoebe: Yeah, okay lets leave these two alone.
Ross: Actually that-thats not true, in The Incredible Hulk uh, No. 72, Dr. Bruce Banner found (Sees everyone staring at him and stops.) Yknow, ugh, nevermind, my girlfriends a lesbian. (Leaves.)