words in movies
Joey: Oh, its a poster for that World War I movie that Im in, check it out.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, its already generating Oscar buzz.
Rachel: Thats right, still no baby! (To Monica, Joey, and Chandler on the couch) Come on people! Please make some room!
Ross: Look, I-I know how miserable you are, I wish there was something I can do. I mean I wish I were a seahorse. (She glares at him) Because with seahorses its the male, they carry the babies. And then also umm, Id be far away in the sea. (He sits back down.)
(Rachel turns and looks at the group on the couch and they move over. Chandler measures the room theyve made with his arm and decides its not enough and they all move over again.)
Rachel: (interrupting her) Oh Phoebe, thats a great story. Can you tell it to me when youre getting me some iced tea? (Phoebe gets up and Rachel groans.) (To the baby) Oh God, get out! Get out!! Get out!! Get out!!
Chandler: Lets. (Everyone gets up and leaves Rachel.)
(Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.)
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! Great news, I was able to get you and one guest tickets to your premiere.
Joey: Oh my God. So thats it?! I only get to bring one guest?
Monica: Well, well Ross didnt care enough to be here, so I think hes out. You snooze you lose.
Chandler: Hes not snoozing, hes teaching a class.
Monica: Well then somebodys snoozing. Joey, not that this uh should affect you at all, but if you were to pick me, I was planning on wearing a sequined dress, cut down to here. (Points to her stomach just above her belly button.)
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! I mean Im sorry, I wish I can take everybody, but yknow Chandler always supported my career. Hes paid for acting classes and head shots and stuff and well this will be my way of paying you back.
Joey: Its not just the stuff he paid for, I mean its-its everything. Yknow? He read lines with me. He-he went with me on auditions when I was really nervous, and then he consoled me after I didnt get parts that I really wanted. You always believed in me man. Even, even when I didnt believe in myself.
Rachel: Oh, I have to pee. If I dont come out in five minutes its because Ive choked to death on the potpourri stink. (Goes into the bathroom.)
Monica: Shes over a week late! She gotta have it today, right?
Phoebe: I dont know. I-I think its still gonna be a while.
Rachel: (calling from the bathroom) All right, whos turn is it to help me get up!
Phoebe: No ones here! (Monica looks at her.) Oh damnit!
Chandler: This is so exciting! Its so glamorous! People taking our picture. How do I look?
Chandler: Its just so glamorous.
Monica: Damnit! Damnit!! Heres your fifty bucks! (Pays Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Its interesting that you lost. Now, I forget, do you like to lose?
Ross: (entering) Hey is Rachel here? We have a doctors appointment.
Monica: Shes in the bathroom.
Rachel: (entering) All right, all right. Lets go!
Ross: Uh, do you wanna go change first? The doctors keeping the office open late for us, but if you hurry
Ross: Really? You dont think thats a little inappropriate. (Shes wearing a tank top and has her belly sticking out.)
Rachel: Oh uh-uh pal! Dont call me mommy! Its bad enough you call your own mother that. (He looks at Monica.)
[Scene: Inside Joeys Premiere, he is intently watching the movie.]
Joey: (To Chandler) Okay, this is it. Its my big fight scene coming up. (He looks over and Chandler and notices that hes asleep.)
[Scene: Dr. Longs Office, Ross and Rachel are waiting for the doctor. Ross is drumming his fingers on the bed.]
Rachel: (silently) Okay. (Pause) Seriously, breathe louder Ross! Thats great!
Ross: Yknow we should probably ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby thats half human and half pure evil!
Dr. Long: Okay, theres an herbal tea you can drink.
Dr. Long: You can take some caster oil, theres eating spicy foods
Dr. Long: taking a long walk, and then theres the one thats proved most effective: sex.
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, the movie is ending and it takes the applause to wake up Chandler.]
Joey: You fell asleep!! There was no kangaroo! They didnt take any of my suggestions! Thats for coming buddy. Ill see you later. (Starts to walk out.)
Monica: Well what is it? What is it? If its gonna help bring the baby here, like today. I mean, I think you should do it.
Ross: Its sex.
Monica: Im just saying its been a really long time for you. I mean, women have needs. Do it, get yours!
Monica: All right, lets be practical, if Ross isnt willing to do it, hes not the only guy in the world you can have sex with. You can borrow ChandlerChandler is good!
Ross: What?! While shes been going through this hell, youve been making money?! Youre betting on your friend staying in this misery?! (Phoebe lowers her head and shakes it yes.)
Rachel: Oh honey, dont worry. I really do feel like tomorrows the day.
Joey: Okay, so thats another five hundred. Five hundred and five hundred, thats (Pauses to figure it out.)
Rachel: Ross IWe tried all the spicy food. Its not working.
Rachel: Oh come on Ross, why are we wasting our time with this other stuff?! We know whats gonna work! Its doctor recommended!
Ross: Always a great way to get in a mans pants.
Rachel: Oh, I know it. Youre right. Thats not sexy. Oh Oh! (Drops a fork on the floor.) Whoops! Oh, I seem to have dropped my fork. Let me just bed over and get it. (Tries too, but cant quite seem to make it.) Oh God!
Rachel: Oh wow! What now Ross youre not gonna talk? How on earth will you ever annoy me? Oh wait a minute, I know. (Mimics his breathing.) I mean youd think the damn jalepeno wouldve cleared up your sinuses, but no!! Thats not enough (Ross jumps over and kisses her.) What are you doing?!
Monica: Thats it. Im done. I dont care when the baby comes, no more betting.
Monica: How did you know that?! (Runs to yell at Joeys apartment.) Joey! Chandler!! Its time!
Monica: You know everything!! Oh wait, double or nothing. I bet you the baby is over seven pounds. (Phoebe isnt interested.) I bet you it has hair. (Shes still not interested.) I bet you its a girl.
Phoebe: We know its a girl! (Exits.)
Mr. Waltham: Well theres one (pointing towards Jack) and theres another (pointing towards Judy).
Ross: Its mine.
Monica: Well, thats okay dad, we-we can wait until later.
[Scene: Chandlers Office Building, Chandler is walking by the elevators and sees Bob standing there.]
[Scene: Rachels Room, Monica is entering.]
Chandler: Joey, you have to tell her whats going on! And what did it look like?!
(Theres a knock on the door and the Nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Ginger: Its okay if it bothers you. Really. I mean the only thing I need to know is: How much it bothers you? because I dont like wasting my time. Am I wasting my time?
Rachel: Shes perfect.
[Scene: Rachels Hospital Room, Ross is sitting next to Rachel.]
Joey: Hey so wheres Ross?
Monica: (to Ross) Honey, its not pushy, he gave her his home number.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Phoebe, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are watching Emma sleep.]
Phoebe: You know thats thats her.
Chandler: (not knowing what hes saying yes to) Yes.
(Chandler smiles and nods then realizes what hes agreed to.)
Rachel: Ugh, those bastards! Lets go.
Chandler: We cant do that thats insane. I mean A he could wake up and B yknow, lets go for it.
Rachel: Yes okay. (Checking the speed dial again.) Well now see this isnt telling us anything. (Reading the speed dial) Joe. Carlos. Peter. Ooh! Peter Luger! T hats a steak house!
Phoebe: Yeah, okay lets leave these two alone.
Ross: Actually that-thats not true, in The Incredible Hulk uh, No. 72, Dr. Bruce Banner found (Sees everyone staring at him and stops.) Yknow, ugh, nevermind, my girlfriends a lesbian. (Leaves.)
Monica: Okay. Could the waiters gather around to hear tonights specials? Okay, first there is a Chilean Sea Bass prepared with a Mango relish on a bagWhy is nobody writing these down?
Monica: I know, thats why I said again!
Monica: Okay whats up
Monica: Whats going on?
Chandler: (sarcastically shocked) Really?! Joe? What would you do if you were in Rosss situation?
[Scene: Ms. McKennas Office, Chandler enters.]
Ross: Oh! Oh! Shes upside down but shes coming! Shes coming!
Phoebe: No thats what you do when you want to get the truth out of someone.
Phoebe: Hes miserable! What happened to him?
Will: Thats right, The I Hate Rachel Green Club!
[The next one is from Episode 608: The One With Rosss Teeth, Chandler is accusing Joey of becoming less of a man.]
Ross: Yeah thats what she said.
Chandler: Its not a real game! I made it up!
Rachel: Yeah! I dont think youre going to need it though. Okay, check this out. If its a girl, Rain.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Ross enters.]
[And with that, we go into another set of clips, this time from Rachels point of view.]
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Oh yes, one minute please. (To Phoebe) Its for you. Its the fire inspector.
Ross: Well, I tell you what. Why dont we uh, why dont we just stay here? Lets not see a movie, well just hang.
Monica: Thats my old dog. He passed away years ago.
Chandler: Ooh! Yes! Okay! Heres what we do, we-we forget it happened.
Joey: I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Yknow it wouldnt kill ya to respect your wifes privacy! (He walks away and into his apartment and looks the door.) Stupid closet full of bugs!
Ross: Ooh. What is the name of Chandlers fathers Las Vegas all-male burlesque?
Ross: Rach, come on, if you think about it, its actually kinda funny. (He laughs, and he laughs alone.) Okay, maybe its best not to think about it.
Chandler: Thats funny, I saw no phlegm.
Chandler: Should we tell Rachel theres an empty private room right next door to hers?
Mr. Heckles: I could be Chandlers new roommate.
Ross: Its a car Monica! Not a rocket ship!
Rachel: Thanks. (Crying) God this is so stupid! (Pause) How could I be upset over something I never had? Its negative?
Phoebe: (still reading the label) Oh my God! This is a six-hour pill! (Checks her watch) Thats it! Im out of the woods! Ohh! What a relief!
Rachel: Theyre having their baby! Its not fair Ross we got here first! Right after you left they wheeled her off into delivery. Oh but not before she gave me a juicy shot of little Jamie just crowning away.
(Ross resumes playing, this time accompanied by Phoebe screeching out Es in tune with Ross. While Phoebe is singing along, Rachel is having a very difficult time keeping a straight face. Thankfully, Ross gives up after a little while.)
Phoebe: Its negative.
Joey: What the hells the matter with you?! This is my favourite jersey.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is getting ready to go to Joeys premiere and Phoebe is still on hold.]
Rachel: No! No, shesShe was nice. I mean, shes a little slutty, but who isnt?
Rachel: Oh thank god, if Phoebe�s going, can we please take Emma home?
Ross: No! No, come on let her sleep! Shes so exhausted.
Ross: Oh yeah its fine. I guess the more muscles you have the more they can spasim out of control.
Monica: Yeah! (They turn to the camera, and Chandler does The Face again.) All right, maybe you dont have to smile. Lets try something else. Lets try umm, try looking sexy.
Bob: I just found out this is Chandlers office! Come on Toby, give me a hand!
Rachel: Well, sure, but they might think its kinda weird considering I dont work there anymore.
Joey: Thursday? But that�s Halloween.
Rachel: Um, Mon, Chandler�s not here.
Ross: Its possible, they have really sharp edges.
Ken: That�s not true. If you don�t wanna smoke �
(They start wrestling, only they are unable to move either ones arm despite a huge strain on their faces and a cheering crowd.)
Emily: I left a bra drying on the shower rod, you dont think your son will think its yours and be horribly traumatised?
Joey: Well, suppose until the babys born I laid off it. No extra animals would die, you-youd just be eating my animals.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel�s. Ross phones, Rachel and Emma are there.]
[Cut to Joey and Rachels, Joey enters and heads for his bedroom. He pushes open the door to find the duck.]
Phoebe: Now I know that they said that the umm, the hair straightener started the fire but I think Im partly at fault. You see, I didnt, I didnt tell you but umm, but I-I had recently refilled the tissues and so yknow lets just face it, thats just kindling! So I think its better that I stay at Joeys.
Monica: Its frightening.
Monica: How can you smoke in this day of age? Do you not seen that ad with a little kid walks to grandpa, it�s chilling.
Joey: Well off the top of my head uhh, maybe shes having her cake and eating it too. You being the cake and Richard being the too. Or!
Phoebe: Rachel, its okay. You dont have to do this. I believe you. All right? Okay, if-if you say that you kissed Melissa, then you kissed Melissa.
[Scene: Outside Ross and Rachel�s.]
Ross: No! No I cant. I mean Rachels out with some guy. My baby went with her. If anything that picture keeps moving further away.
Rachel: I mean I think Id say no to anybody right now. (Hearing this Gunther swoops back to cleaning tables.) Oh, but it was so strange. I mean Im standing there with this charming, cute guy, whos asking me to go out with him, which Im allowed to do, and I felt guilty. Y'know, like Id be cheating on Ross or something.
The Woman: It-its really heavy.
Chandler: Yeah, let�s celebrate life!
Joey: Not a problem. Oh, and just so you know, that guys not going to be bothering you about that baby thing anymore.
Ross: Great. So let�s get going?
Monica: You know what? Let�s not talk.
Mr. Treeger: (coming in from the bathroom) Whoa, hey, that ladys all kinds of naked.
Monica: That�s right, I got mine.
Rachel: Why not? I dont want to do this alone! And hes such a sweet guy and he loves me so much.
Chandler: Yeah, its two guys in a ring, and the rules are: Theyre are no rules.
Joey: Thanks. Thanks, but uh actually its just gonna be me again tonight.
Phoebe: �s a good toast.
Ross: Well, ??? think that�s us?
Joey: Hmm thats weird. I dont remember being in a move called benefits lapsed.
Chandler: What�s the matter with me? Why I�m such a girl?
Phoebe: Of course I can! Its just good sense to backup your backup! Look, Ive already lost Chandler!
Joey: Yeah? I just figured yknow, after living with you itd be an interesting change of pace to have a female roommate, yknow? Someone I can learn from, someone-someone whos different than me. And whats more different than me; a guy whos not 19 than say a girl who is 19? Enh? (Points to his head.) Not just a hat rack my friend!
Joey: That�s the best birthday ever.
Phoebe: (To Joey) Maybe its something you ate?
Woman: No! Its where you put the dirty ones!
Joey: Thats the title! Yeah! Yknow they really lucked out that the initials spell cheese.
Joey: Or maybe, its because youre hanging around here at 11:30 on a Wednesday. (Everybody gets up.)