words in movies
Monica: Joey, she was listing the countries shes done it in.
Phoebe: (entering, hurridly) Hey, you guys! Look what I found! Look at this! (She hands Chandler a picture) Thats my Moms writing! Look.
Phoebe: No-no, thats not, thats not me Phoebe, thats her pal Phoebe. According to her high school yearbook, they were like B.F.F. (Ross and Bonnie look at her quizzically) Best Friends Forever.
Ross: Thats too bad.
Chandler: Okay, so weve established my name, and hit me. But theoretically y'know, I mean say we werent friends, say its a blind date. I show up at your door, and Im like (in a fake voice) Hey, nice to meet, ya. Hey, oh-hey.
Joey: No, its just my luggage.
[Scene: At the Beach, its raining cats and dogs as the gang arrives. Chandler and Monica are taking shelter under Rachels hat.]
Monica: Whats with all this sand? (picking a handful of sand off of the floor, which is covered in sand)
[Scene: Phoebe Sr. house, she is a real estate agent and is trying to sell a house over the phone. By the way, its still raining outside.]
Phoebe Sr: Well, yes, its kindve an unusual house. It has umm, three beautiful bedrooms and ah, no baths. But y'know, the ocean is right there.
Phoebe Sr: Youre Erwins daughter?!
Phoebe Sr: Uh-huh. Wow! Well, look! Theres Frank. (points to the picture.)
Phoebe: Yes!! Yes! Yes! Yes!! Thats my Dad, thats Frank! Yeah! Im sorry Im getting all flingy.
Phoebe Sr: Take it easy--if you want, theres cookies on the counter, or, or--sangria! (jumps up) I can make sangria!
[Scene: The beach house, its still raining. Chandler is building a sand castle, Rachel is doing Monicas nails, and theyre all drinking margaritas, obviously bored.]
Joey: Come on! When you go away, you-you have to play, its like a law!
Rachel: Okay, whos next?! (She looks around the room, and stops when she comes to Ross.)
Ross: Yeah well, if ah, if thats the rule this weekend... (She gets up) No!
Ross: (he gets up and starts to run away from her) No! (in his escape attempt he crushes Chandlers sand castle) No!
Monica: (to Phoebe) So whats Phoebe like?
Phoebe: Im kind, caring, and sweet. Whats Monica like?
Phoebe: I dont know, but were having dinner tomorrow night, so I figured, shes gonna tell me then. Y'know maybe she just wanted to give him time to, buy me presents, I dont know! So, youre all bored?
Ross: Okay, come on! (blows on the dice) Daddy needs a new pair of electromagnetic microscopes for the Prehistoric Forensics Department! (They all look at him, and he shuts up and rolls the dice.) (he moves his piece) Okay. (reading a card) Take Pinky Tuscadero up to Inspiration Point, collect three cool points!! Yeah! Which gives me five, and lets see who is gonna lose their clothes. Ummmm, I think I pick our strip poker sponsor Mr. Joey Tribianni.
Joey: All right, relax. Its just a shoe.
Rachel: (reading a card) Okay, your band is playing at Arnolds, collect three cool points. Which means, I have five, and that means I get Joeys boxers!
Joey: Actually, y'know its kinda cold, so how about I keep my boxers on, and give you all a peek at the good stuff?
Rachel: (getting up) All right, Im gonna make more margaritas! (She pours the rest of the pitcher into Rosss glass.)
Monica: Hes totally flirting with you too.
Rachel: (pause) He is, isnt he? I dont know, I dont know, I mean maybe its just being here at the beach together or, I dont know. But its like something... (shes interrupted by the sound of Bonnie entering)
Phoebe: Shhh! Shhhh! Joeys asleep.
(As Bonnie goes to do just that, Rachel smiles to herself, proud of what shes done.)
Joey: Whats the matter, Pheebs?
Phoebe: Yeah, she clamed she had to go out of town suddenly. Shes avoiding me, she doesnt want to tell me where my Father is. She knows, and she wont tell me.
Phoebe: Well, shes out of town so, theres gotta be something in her house that tells me where my Father is.
Ross: Nooo, but it, but its great.
Ross: I was having a little chat with ah, Bonnie, and ah, guess what, she-she happened to bring up y'know, who was behind the um, whole head shaving idea, and now, who was it? Oh, thats right, thats right, it was you!
Rachel: All right! Ross, do you think its easy for me to see you with somebody else?
[Scene: Phoebe Sr.s house, Phoebe is breaking in through a window.]
(She starts walking across the darkened room and hits her head on a wind chime hanging from the ceiling, to stop it from making a noise she grabs it and Shhhs it. She goes into the kitchen and finds Phoebe Sr.s appointment book, to read it she opens the freezer. Just as she starts to read, Phoebe Sr. jumps out from her bedroom with a coat hanger, startling Phoebe.)
Phoebe: No! No!! Its me! Its me! I-I didnt want to make any noise!
Phoebe Sr: No, no, thats just Chuck Magioni, I-I sold him a house last year! And Im very sorry, but I dont know where your Father is, and thats the truth.
(At that Phoebes eyes open in shock.)
Ross: Thats not true! Her, she doesnt even know what she wants! Rachels still mad about the whole thing.
Chandler: Okay, then you gotta back away, all right? You dont need that kindve hurt. Take it from a guy whos never had a long term relationship......
Bonnie: You guys, the waters great. You should really go in.
Ross: Hey, itll grow back, right? And she-shes really fun, and shes cool, and-and Im finally moving on. Y'know? I mean getting over Rachel was so (makes an incoherent nasal sound), y'know? Y'know, and Im finally feeling sane again. And now if I go up there, and-and I kiss her, and, Gooood I wanna kiss her, and-and-and it doesnt work out, right? Do I really wanna put myself through that again?
Joey: Right, and you go with Rachel, Bonnies free tonight?
[Scene: The beach house, Chandler is simulating hes coming to pick up Monica for a date. Chandler knocks on the door, and Monica answers it.]
Monica: Thats that weird voice again.
Chandler: Hi! Im Dorf! Youre date for the evening. (Monica walks away in disgust) Oh come on! Dorf on dating, thats good stuff!!
Chandler: Okay, now lets decide who has the nicest ass.
Joey: Just because she went to Yale drama, she thinks shes like the greatest actress since, since, sliced bread!
Phoebe: Thats weird.
Monica: Thats right. Thats right. And that is why you cant stay here tonight. And probably why you shouldnt come to the wedding.
Rachel: Thats weird, she locked the door.
[cut to Monica telling the gang about what happened at Petes]
(The rest of the gang runs away, except for Ross whos tramped inside his car. To hide he puts the top up as Monica, Rachel, and Joey come running past.)
Rachel: Oh yknow what honey? Lets not talk about that right now?
Ross: Look, you guys I just wanna say, I really, really appreciate you spending this time with me. Its been a pretty hard time right now, so I just wanna say thanks.
Phoebe: YOU DID NOT!!!! Oh! No! You came up with Relaxi Cab! Thats not good.
Phoebe: Oh no, it is forbidden! No-no, Mrs. Potter fires people for fooling around with clients. And its against my oath as a masseuse.
Chandler: Janice I didnt even know you were pregnant! Whos the unwitting human whos essence youve stolen?
Chandler: No, actually Lauries a boy.
Monica: Umm. Well, theres Rachel, and umm, I think thats it. How bout you?
Rachels Boss: Now Mr. Kaplan Sr. likes his coffee strong, so your gonna use two bags instead of one, see. Now pay attention, cause this parts tricky, see some people use filters just once.
Ross: Yeah, but when the baby comes shes gonna want to move.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, hes still trying to figure out what to make Monica.]
Joey: No-no, its uh, its Heston.
Joey: Wh-whats going on?
Ross: Huh? Oh-oh, it was fine. Uh, it was just a misunderstanding. She didnt want me to go with her. She just wanted to let me know that shes going to Florida for spring vacation.
Rachel: Tommyyyy! Say, whats your favourite thing about summer?
Rachel: Beefsteak Charlies?
Joey: Spocks birth control.
Ross: Oh, it looks like mom and dads house. Oh, it even has a tree with a broken limb out front and the uh, the window in the attic is Oh my God!!
Monica: Whats the matter?
Chandler: Monicas gotta have the phone in the right place and(Frantic babbling.)
The Dry Cleaner: Thats my wife!!! Get out! (Starts yelling at him in Russian, and Im betting hes not saying pleasant things about him.)
Ross: Good! Thats good!
Rachel: No I know, because to be a grandmother you have to be married and have children and I dont have any of those things. Thats why its so funny. (Runs into her room crying.)
Phoebe: No, no, thats the ghost for the attic.
Phoebe: And also, we dont know what to do with this. (She turns on a switch and the girls nipples light up.)
Rachel: Okay, two things didnt happen. Remember I told you that someone made out with Ralph Lauren in the copy room? Well, it turns out thats not true.
Ross: And thats funny, why?
Rachel: Oh but Joey, I have to go. Theres no room for a baby here.
Chandler: Now, theres two reasons.
Joey: Uhhhh. (Hes not sure)
Joey: Check it out, hes winning! (to Monica) Petes winning!
Monica: Okay, lets start with the free messages outside the UN.
Rachel: No, yknow what? Its gonna be okay. I mean you dont have to have this rustic Italian feast. Yknow? And-and you dont need, you dont need this custom-made, empire waisted, duchess, satin gown; you can wear off the rack. (She starts to cry, as does Monica.)
Chandler: Well, I was trying to prove that I was right. Yknow? And it turns out I was wrong. And now its lodged in my throat. (Mimics a cat trying to cough up a hairball.) (He does it again.)
Ross: Okay, its second down. (turns away) Take all the second downs you need.
Monica: (seeing her) Okay, lets go!! Lets hit the road!!
Phoebe: Yeah, its in the guys apartment under the sink. Why?
Frank: So wait, whats the deal here, I can have sex with you, but I cant touch you?
Phoebe: Oh heres a whole bunch.
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! I just talked to the casting people; they loved you!
Phoebe: Well okay, its already February and Ive only given two massages and they were both the worst tippers in the world!
Dina: Thanks so much for meetin with me. Joeys told me so much about you!
Chandler: I always thought having a heart attack was natures way of telling you to die! (Phoebe glares at him.) But youre not gonna die. I mean, you are going to die, but youre not gonna die today. I wish I was dead.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross has just finished putting Ben to sleep, and is entering from Rachels room.]
Phoebe: Its mostly just photographs of lesbian love scenes interspersed with video games and free sandwiches.
Joey: Chandler. Will you see if your mom can give my resume to Dennis Phillips? Cause if I can get in a Broadway show then I wouldve done it all, film, television, and theater. The only think left would be radio, and thats just for ugly people.
Ross: Hey! Its starting to snow.
Phoebe: Well my guy is spectacular. Okay? Hes a massage client and one time umm, when he was on the table, I looked at it. And I mean all of it.
Joey: All right, Ill take a box of the cream filled Jesuss.
Joey: Uh, Pheebs we kinda need you to drive us all up there in your grandmothers cab, but y'know what, Ill stay.
Rachel: (handing him the letter) Its just some things Ive been thinking about. Some things about us, and before we can even think about the two of us getting back together, I just need to know how you feel about this stuff.
[Cut to the hall, Joeys sister runs up and grabs Chandlers butt.]
[Scene: Chandlers office, Chandler is confronting his boss about the butt smacking thing. His boss is writing on a white board.]
Ross: Maybe its a universal thing?
Monica: Lets get the show on it!
Joey: Its All Relative.
Phoebe: Whats block?
Chandler: Yeah, I know, I-I wish I had too, but yknow I-I think this is a good thing. Y'know? Cause weve had our first fight, and now we can move on. Yknow, I know for me(Notices a pair of mens pants on the chair.) Nicks pants?
Chandler: Im in the bathroom, can you come in here? I think theres something wrong.
[Scene: Phoebes, Frank is melting a plastic spoon.]
Ross: Ive said it! Okay?! But its over Joey!
Joey: Hey, no way, that roosters family!
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are showing everyone the van they bought for the catering business. Its an old Dodge van, that has a cartoon woman riding on a dragon painted on the side of it.]
Friend No. 2: Rachel! Rachel! (stirs Rachel from her dream, shes in her car driving back from the city)
Joey: Uhh, look, your eyes still popping out a little, Im gonna go get some ice.
Paul: Hi! Hi. (Hes looking around.) I think I left my keys here somewhere.
Ross: I dunno, maybe its because youre really sarcastic. Or maybe its cause you uh-
Monica: Maybe. I just hope she realizes how hard its gonna be.
Mrs. Geller: This is your grandmothers engagement ring, I want you to give it to Rachel.
Ross: (to Monica and Rachel) Its winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)
Written by: Michael Curtis & Gregory S. Malins Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Rachel: Oh! Yay! Look! Theres a piece that doesnt have floor on it!
[Scene: Backstage at Joeys play, Joey is arriving, late.]
Ross: Besides, theres a big age difference.
Phoebe: Oh no, let her stay out there. Its sweet.
Chandler: (to Ross) All right listen, I have to go to the bathroom, but if the place with the big fish comes up again. Id like know whether thats several big fish or just one big fish.
Rachel: (shouting) Its All Relative!!
Phoebe: Okay, Monicas are the biggest.
Joey: Well, theres really only one thing you can do.
Chandler: Mom. Thanks for wearing something. (They hug.) (Shes wearing a tight dress with a lot of cleavage showing.)
Monica: Well, the giraffes okay. And so is the pirate.
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are giving Phoebe and Rachel the brides maid test.]
Monica: Oh God Phoebe!! (Phoebe covers one ear.) Oh thats it! Thats it! Right there! Oh! (Tries to cover the other ear.) Ooooh-oooh-ooooh (Covers both ears and continues the massage with her elbows.)
(She throws the paper at him, misses and hits Monicas door, they all jump back at the sound.)
Rachel: All right, lets do it.
Ross: Okay, y'know what, lets just cut to the chase here. Okay? Heidi, which of my boys do you like?
Ross: Monicas right. Were talking about getting married here. Okay? She-she cant just rush into this.
Monica: Oh sure, now you�re Mister Sensitivity. But when you wanted to have sex right after my uncle�s funeral
Chandler: Hey its Joey!
Chandler: (to Monica) Actually hes the smallest person in the world.
Phoebe: Its a trip for two! (She gets up and takes off her blouse-type thingy shes wearing over her dress.) Excuse me. (She walks over to table four.) Excuse me, is the person who won the Paris trip at this table?
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, a scene is being shot where Dina and Fredrick are celebrating Jessicas horrible accident by drinking champagne.]
(And with that, television history is made as, for the first time ever, an entire show moves its entire production to an entirely different country to make a single episode. We get shots of Buckingham Palace, London Bridge, Big Ben, and the London Marriott as Joey and Chandler exit.)
Rachel: Well then he gets a divorce, its Ross!