words in movies
(They both sit down at the table and the chick and the duck enter from Joeys bedroom.)
Rachel: Oh! Good thing Chandlers not here, he always wins at this game.
Joanna: (Coming out of the shower wearing nothing but a towel) Hello, Rachel. (She goes into Chandlers bedroom)
Chandler: Oh, come on! Its not like this is an everyday occurrence for me! I mean usually Im pretty much just in there by myself.
Chandler: I hope you know what Im giving up for ya, because shes not just the boss in your office, if you know what I mean.
[Scene: The Geller household kitchen, Monica and Phoebe are cooking for Mrs. Gellers party.]
Mrs. Geller: (entering) Hows the hired help?
Mrs. Geller: Whats this? Blue nail polish?
Mrs. Geller: Ahh, thats what your Grandmothers hands looked like when we found her.
Phoebe: Wow! And hey, its cool if youre a lesbian! (Gives her a thumbs up)
Joey: Uhhhh. (Hes not sure)
[Cut to Monica and Rachels apartment, all are there.]
Ross: Im telling you its totally unconstituional.
[Cut to Monica and Rachels, theyre all there playing cards.]
[Scene: The Gellers Kitchen, Monica and Phoebe are still cooking.]
Phoebe: Thats weird.
Phoebe: Oh, no, I meant that its weird that you only have nine now.
Monica: (Looks at her nails) Oh my God. Wait a minute, I had them put (realises) Oh my God! Its in the quiche! Oh My God!
Phoebe: Okay, dont panic. Im gonna go to the store, Im gonna get you another set of nails, no ones gonna know, and youre gonna look great. (She runs over to get her coat.) Oh! Oh, its cause theyre gonna eatthats the problem.
Monica: Okay ah, please dont freak out. Umm, but ah, theres a blue fingernail in one of the quiche cups, and theres no way to know which one.
Mrs. Geller: Its nothing, its just that now your Father owes me five dollars.
Monica: (laughs) Thats right. My Mom doesnt have any faith in me! Oh, thats hilarious! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
[Scene: Joannas office, Joanna and Chandler are making out on her chair. Chandler isnt wearing any pants.]
Joanna: Just a little gag gift somebody gave me. (Shes holding a pair of handcuffs) Put your hands together.
Joanna: Knowing youre here, waiting for me I think its kinda exciting.
Chandler: Okay. But if you dont come back soon, (She leaves and closes the door) theres pretty much nothing I can do about it!
[Cut to Joannas outer office, where Rachel and Sophie work. They are both coming back from lunch.]
Rachel: Thats weird, she locked the door.
Sophie: Yknow why? Shes got the Christmas bonus list in there. I saw her working on it this morning.
Rachel: Okay, swear you wont tell, but when Mark left he gave me a key to Joannas office. Do you wanna see the list?
[Scene: Joannas office, Chandler, still handcuffed to the chair, is looking through the lingerie catalogue by turning the pages with his teeth. The phone rings and Chandler answers it with his nose.]
Chandler: Hello, Joanna (Realises he doesnt know her last name) s office.
Joanna: Im in my bosss car!
[Cut to Rachels office as her intercom buzzes.]
Chandler: Okay, heres the situation. The keys to the cuffs are on the back of the door. Could you be a doll and grab them and scoot on over and unlock me? And on a totally different subject, that is a lovely pantsuit.
Chandler: No-no-no-no-no-no-no!! I cant get myself right out of them! You must have me confused with the Amazing Chandler!! Come on, you have to unlock me, she could be gone for hours, and Im cold, and (Stops and looks up the skirt on a statue behind Joannas desk.)
Rachel: When she sees that youre gone, shes gonna know that I let you out, and that I was in here, and Im gonna get fired!
Rachel: No, theres nothing to make up, shes gonna know that I have a key to her office, Ive got to get you locked up back the way you were! (She tries to drag him over to the chair, but Chandler stops her.)
The Salesman: So, heres somebody interesting, Joey. What do you know about Van Gogh?
Joey: Wow! Thats pretty nice. I thought he cut off his ear cause he sucked. What else you got in there?
The Salesman: Lets see, ahhh Where does the Pope live?
Joey: In the woods. No wait-wait, thats the joke answer.
Joey: Spocks birth control.
[Scene: Monicas childhood bedroom (which has been turned into a gym), Monica is lying on the treadmill as Phoebe enters.]
Monica: Oh good, Im glad thats catching on.
Phoebe: Okay, umm, if a kid gets straight As, his parents would say, "Yeah, he pulled a Monica." Y'know? Or a fireman saves a baby, and they go, "Yeah I know, he pulled a Monica." Or someone hits a homerun and the announcer says, "Yeah, that ones outta here." Though some things dont change.
[Scene: Joannas office, Rachel and Chandler are having a little tug-of-war with his pants.]
Rachel: Chandler! Chandler, please, I have to get you locked up back the way you were, I am sooo gonna lose my job, shes very private about her office. Now I know why.
Chandler: Hey, look, youre in trouble either way! Okay? If she comes back and sees me locked to this instead of the chair, shes gonna know you were in here. So you might as well just let me go.
Joey: Wow! Theres a lot I didnt know about vomit. (The duck comes to the door of the bathroom, quacking.) (To the duck) In a minute. (The duck goes back into the bathroom.)
Joey: Twelve hundred dollars? You think I have $1200? Im home in the middle of the day, and I got patio furniture in my living room. I guess theres a few things you dont get from book learnin.
Joey: And a 50. (The salesman stops suddenly) Huh, these must be Chandlers pants.
[Scene: Joannas office, Rachel and Chandler are still negotiating.]
Rachel: I have so got it. Theres gonna be rumours about this, theres no way to stop it. Sophie knows, Monica and Phoebe know.
Rachel: I can make you a legend. I can make you this generations Milton Berle.
[Scene: The Gellers kitchen, Phoebe is bringing in some dirty dishes.]
Phoebe: Its hard to believe that just a little while ago this was nothing but ingredients.
Joey: Wh-whats going on?
Joey: Well, its good thing you got out when you did, before she blew up like that Vesuvius.
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel is coming in for the day.]
Joanna: (from her office) Whos out there?
Rachel: Its me! Good morning!
Rachel: Yeah, sure. Umm, they didnt have poppy seed bagels, so I (Enters Joannas office and sees her handcuffed to her chair wearing nothing but a slip) Oh my word!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Everyone is helping clean the table.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys hotel room. Chandler is watching TV as Joey returns, still wearing his hat.]
Guy: Its-its-its almost dead!
Mrs. Green: Thats true. You do have another child.
Joey: All right, lets get me back up there! (Holds out his picture.)
Ross: He is my girlfriends father, okay? Its-its, its weird!
Chandler: Its not all juice! (Rachel quickly gets out of the way.)
Monica: (entering with Chandler) Who? (She looks out the window at Rosss apartment) Is that your sister?
Ross: Its been six months! Im always hot!
Phoebe: Uh, well I can tell you why. Its, its because of me. But, y'know what, I only did it because I love you. Okay?
Rachel: Wow, thats great Ross, Im sorry we werent more supportive before.
Chandler: Thats weird. I dont think my boss likes me either.
Tag: Oh, its crazy about Rachel huh?
Cecilia: No! Its because that way the camera only sees her! (She takes her hands off his face.) Do you wanna try it?
Rachel: Phoebe, I mean, you do know hes married?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Monica are playing with a Ouija board, Phoebes beeper goes off and Monica screams.]
Mona's Date: Oh, its okay.
Ross: Hey! I just got uh, my teacher evaluations! Check out what this one student wrote, "I loved Dr. Gellers class. Mind blowing lectures! Dr. Geller, you are definitely the hottie of the paleontology department!"
Ross: Its okay man, be strong. (Chandler goes into the office.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is getting Rachels muffin.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, Chandler is there. Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Rachel: Im not! Were having a girl! Sometimes I cant believe its with youBut still! Were having a girl!
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Monica: Ohh, sweetie! (Goes to comfort her.) Hey, I bet you anything that hes gonna call you again.
Ross: Maybe I should open a divorced mens club.
Parker: Its a haven. A third-floor paradise. A modern-day Eden in the midst
Rachel: Im sorry. Im sorry. Its just Its just so sad!
Joey: Its still a tiny bit on fire there.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers new apartment, Chandler is putting something away under the sink.]
Phoebe: Oh my God Chandler, the one you picked is gone. Its over!
Rachel: Well, actually Gunther sent me. Youre not allowed to have cups out here, its a thing. (takes her cup and goes back inside)
Phoebe: Yeah, I really do! Yes, but, after I dumped on the way he was gonna propose to me, I don’t think he’s ever gonna ask again! I mean, I said no in Barbados and now this!
Joey: So uh, hey, that uh, that wedding ring, huh? Man, thats nice!
Ross: I know and I was going to, but I thought it was better that you heard it from Rachels father. Look I I made a mistake, but its only because I really, really like you. Really!
Richards Date: Well, I just wanted to see where you lived. Now, give me the tour.
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and her are coming back from lunch.]
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachels new apartment, Rachel and Phoebe are making their answering machine message.]
Phoebe: Oh, and great! You might as well bring me my book, its on the counter in your apartment.
Phoebe: Okay. (One of Joeys co-workers, walks by with a dead tree.) Yikes! That one doesnt look very fulfilled.
Phoebe: Oh wow. What, do you think maybe hes gonna tell you that hes gay?
Rachel: Yeah! Its weird. But the thing is need to find a date.
Phoebe: Yeah, she was bald, shes not now.
Joey: I know! I mean its not like we werent cool about it.
Joey: Yes thats the one about the soldiers who fight in World War I!
Chandler: Okay, lets play my game now.
Ross: Yeah, just a little in high school, but then I really got into it in college. I mean thats-thats when I really found my sound.
Joey: Oh thats right. Theres a lot going on here and I think I ate some bad fruit earlier.
[Scene: Jasons apartment, Phoebe has gone to break up with Jason.]
Rachel: (not seeing Ross) Whats your favourite thing about summertime?
Phoebe: Oh, this ones for Chandler. Here.
Dr. Green: The wedding! Theres going to be a wedding. Young lady, dont you sit there and tell me my first grandchild is going to be a bastard! (Rachel pauses) Rachel Karen Green, tell me there is gonna be a wedding!!
Joey: Im sorry! Okay? I went down to the gift shop and its either this or a bathrobe! Look, whats more important, the way Im dressed or me being with you on your special day?
Monica: Oh my God, shes not gonna like the chicken that night either is she?!
Ross: Thats okay, Im not so crazy about myself right now either.
(Theres a knock on the door, he shuts the TV off, and answers it.)
Ross: No, thats, no, as long as youre okay. So Ill ah, Ill see you tomorrow.
Chandler: Okay, now will you guys get out of here? I want this is to be a surprise and shes gonna know.
{Transcribers Note: She puts the key into the ignition, which is on the left side of the steering wheel. Does anyone know why that is? Its a tradition left over from Porsches racing history. The worlds greatest endurance race is the 24 Hours of LeMans. Which is in France and runs for 24 hours straight from noon on Saturday through the dark of night and finishes at noon on Sunday. In the 60s LeMans had a unique start where the drivers would actually start the race outside of the car and across the track. At the start of the race, the drivers would run across the track, get in the car, buckle up, start the car, and drive off. Porsche wanted to reduce the amount of time that took. Since all cars to that point had the ignition switches on the right side of the steering wheel, that required the drivers to use their right hand to grab the seat-belts, put the car in gear and start it. The drivers left hand did nothing. Porsche in order to save a few seconds in a 24-hour race; moved the ignition switches to the left side of the steering wheel so that the driver could start the car with his left hand while grabbing the seat-belts with his right hand. Thats why every Porsche car built since then has the ignition on the left side of the steering wheel.}
Rachel: Okay, lets do it. Ill move in.
Phoebe: No ones here! (Monica looks at her.) Oh damnit!
Ross: Uh, no, its-its just this person.
Ross: I think its coming from your bag.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, first season, Monica is making a giant sub-sandwich and is talking to Rachel. I think its The One With Fake Monica.]
Frank: Okay, but isnt sex better when its with one person that you really, really care about.
Monica: Because shes not gonna get to keep the babies.
(They both go to Chandlers bedroom to get his coat.)
Tim: Wow! Umm, okay. Umm (To Phoebe) I-I-I realize I came on a little strong but, its only because I think youre so amazing. (To Monica) And uh, I-I just wanna, I just wanna tell you how much I appreciate you giving me an opportunity here because Iyoure the most talented chef Ive ever worked for. Anyway (Starts to leave and Phoebe and Monica trade looks.)
Joey: Hey listen, so whens-whens my audition? I mean I know its Thursday, but what time?
[Scene: Rachels New Office, shes interviewing a potential new assistant, Hilda.]
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and Joanna are returning from their lunch date. He is telling her about her mascara problem. Rachel is already there.]
Phoebe: No! (Rosss phone rings.)
Monica: No I dont know Chandler! Not anymore! Its like its like somethings changed.
(They start to go into Monica and Rachels, their apartment is filled with all of the old Christmas trees from Joeys work.)
Ross: So its looks like were the first ones here.
Monica: Chandler, what are you doing? That thing can put someones eye out!
Joey: Yes, but in Drake Remorays body. (Ross laughs unbelievably.) Why is this so hard for you to get? I thought you were a scientist!
Joey: Right. Right. The wedding, gotcha. But I mean, its gonna start a little late right? I mean, weddings start late. Right?
Monica: You invite my brother, you invite my whole family, and not me?! Why?! WhatWhy wouldnt you want me at your wedding? What could I have possibly done?! (Frannies husband walks up.) Stuart!
Monica: Oh, thank you! (The gang exhibits signs of quiet apprehension and wears knowing glances.) (Monica giggles.) Whats going on?
Phoebe: Well, all right. 1700 bags of peanuts flying that high, thats pretty amazing too.
Rachel: Really?! (Taking his resume) Okay well then, all right, well just have a seat there. Umm, so whatswhat iswhats your name?
Rachel: Oh is it?! (She answers the cute guys phone.) Uhh, hello? (On her phone) Yes hi, is Rachel there? (On the other phone) Yes she is, just one moment please. (To Phoebe, holding out both phones.) Its for me!
Rachel: Wh(Turns and looks at the gang whos staring)Why dont I tell you over here? (She walks Melissa away from the gang.)
Dr. Schiff: So, hows it going?
Rachel: Ohh, its Joshua invited me to this fancy club opening tonight. But, I already told Mr. Waltham that I would take his niece to this dumb old opera. So What are you gonna do?
Monica: Oh, come on its my wedding! That can be my present.
Ginger: Ah well, its nubbin. Nothing! Umm. Y'know what, Ill see you later. Okay. (She leaves and in the hall we see her shake her shoulders like when someone runs their fingernails across a blackboard.)
Tall Guy: No, no. Shes fair game if you ask me, sorry buddy!
Chandler: Oh, just this! (turns around and has a paint lid stuck to the back of his pants.) Yknow what its my fault really, because the couch is usually where we keep the varnish.
Rachel: Oh Ah! (Sees a big stuffed gorilla) Oh my gosh theres something every mother needs, a giant stuffed gorilla that takes up the entire apartment! What are people think (Reads the card) Oh you guys I love it.
Phoebe: Oh thats all right. Im still full from your homemade potato chips.
Rachel: Okay Ross come on lets just forget about the condoms.
Rachel: Aw, its unbelievable! Wow! She is kicking so much! Oh, shes like umm oh whos that kind of annoying girl soccer player?
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
[Scene: Lara and Jenis Massage, Phoebe is interviewing for a job.]
Rachel: I know, its sick.
Monica: Okay, does it involve something to do with Petes computer company?
Joey: Dude! Hernia operations cost like, a lot probably. Besides its getting darker and more painful, that means its healing.
Rachel: Umm, well lets see uh, this one is Tom Brokaw.
[Scene: Rosss birthday, Joey is now trying to get his car out while Ross is directing him.]