words in movies
(Rachel opens the trash chute, winces at the smell, and throws the garbage bag in. She then tries to throw the pizza box in, but since its so big she jams it into the opening and it prevents the door from closing. She then turns around too see Mr. Treeger watching her.)
Rachel: Ummm. Oh! Im sorry. (She grabs the box and offers him a piece.) Its a little old but
[Cut to Monica and Rachels apartment as Rachel returns in tears.]
Monica: Joey, please dont do that. I think its best that we just forget about it.
Rachel: Thats easy for you to say, you werent almost just killed.
Joey: All right thats it, school is in session! (Exits and slams the door.)
Monica: (Picking up a card from Chandlers wallet.) My God! Is this a gym card?
Chandler: Oh Maria. You cant say no to her, shes like this lycra spandex covered gym treat.
[Scene: Treegers apartment, Joey knocks on the door and Treeger opens it.]
Mr. Treeger:: Yeah, well your friends are in violation of it. Ive been a nice guy up until now, but uh, I dont need this grief. Im gonna call the landlord and tell him that Monica is illegally subletting here grandmothers apartment. Your friends are outta here pal.
Monica: Whats the matter?
Phoebe: Oh no, it is forbidden! No-no, Mrs. Potter fires people for fooling around with clients. And its against my oath as a masseuse.
Phoebe: No, I made myself take an oath. Yeah, no fooling around with clients and umm, always be prepared. Yeah, that ones actually from the Boy Scouts, but it just makes good sense.
Chandler: Because thats the only part of you he can see when hes on the table!
Phoebe: Because its Arabian princess day at work! Okay?! Leave me alone!
Joey: He said that he wasnt gonna apologize because you guys are living here illegally, so instead what hes gonna do is have you evictedIll see you later.
Rachel: Thats not true! (Starts to cry.)
[Scene: Chandlers gym, He and Ross are there to cancel his membership.]
Ross: Good! Thats good!
Ross: Its okay man, be strong. (Chandler goes into the office.)
[Scene: Heeling Hands Inc., Phoebes work, she is giving a massage to the guy, Rick, she likes.]
Rick: Would you mind spending some time on my siadic area, its been killing me today.
[Scene: Mr. Treegers apartment, Joey is there to suck up.]
Joey: Thats not, prison lingo, is it?
Joey: Yeah, theres this superintendents dance, the Super Ball. I dont know, and he wants to impress Marge, this lady super that hes a crush on.
Joey: Well, hes too shy, he doesnt thing hes good enough to dance with girls yet.
Ross: And thats funny, why?
Rachel: Oh, umm, I was just yknow working out and umm Oh, thats it.
Chandler: Now, theres two reasons.
Ross: And thats not against your oath?!
[Scene: Treegers apartment, Joey knocks and Mr. Treeger opens the door.]
Joey: All right, Im here, lets ahh, get this over with.
Joey: No, its okay, but if Im Marge, my breasts are coming out my back.
Mr. Treeger:: Im sure as hell a dancer, its no use Marge will never go for me.
Joey: Come on Treeger, dont say that. You just ahh, you just need more practice. Here, come on, lets ahh, lets try it again. Come on. (they start dancing again) Plus, it was, it was probably mostly my fault, anyway. I mean, yknow, Im not really that comfortable dancing with a(Treeger throws him) We-he!! Hey!
Joey: Hey-hey, hold on, this isnt some kind of like girly dance. All right, its like a sport, its manly!
[Scene: Ross and Chandlers bank, they are there to close their accounts.]
Phoebe: (thinking to herself) Okay, baseball. Rick, playing baseball. Okay, slides into second, maybe even his pants come down a little Oh nowait no, no! No! Okay, all right, sandwiches, sandwiches. Umm, okay, on a plate, maybe Ricks pants come down a little. No! No! Okay, Chandler! Okay Chandler, ooh, thats working.
Phoebe: (thinking to herself) Chandlers knees. Chandlers ankles. Chandlers ankle hair. (notices the clock) Oh no. (to Rick) Okay, youre all set.
(Suddenly, Phoebes boss, Mrs. Potter, and a client, Mr. Simon, enters.)
Mrs. Potter: Mr. Simons been waiting for(sees Phoebe and Rick) Oh my God!
Phoebe: Its so weird, I have never been fired from anything before!
Phoebe: I just-I just started walking around not knowing what to do next, yknow? I-I started asking people on the street if they wanted massages. Then these policemen, thought I was a whore too. Its been a really bad day, whore wise.
(Theres a knock on the door and Chandler answers it.)
Mr. Treeger:: Yeah, but yknow, I think the reason were not getting that spin right is because my apartments too small.
Mr. Treeger:: Yeah, you could dance real good with her, shes the same size as me.
(Treeger leaves, and Joeys dances off.)
[Scene: Lara and Jenis Massage, Phoebe is interviewing for a job.]
Interviewer: So it looks like youve got some great experience here. Lets see ahh, reason for leaving last job?
Mr. Bowmont: What the hell, its for a good cause! All right!
[Scene: Rachels Doctors Office, she is waiting for her doctor as a nurse enters.]
Monica: Thats not even a word! I can get this! I can get this!
Joey: No! Its not okay! Its not okay at all!! Youre dead inside!!
Ross: (looking in the window behind them) Yknow, yknow Im lookin and I dont think anyones home here. I say we just break the window, crawl through, and-and yknow explain later.
Ross: Yeeeeeep Yep-yep-yep-yep-yep. I remember when she took out on her dads boat she wouldnt let me help at all.
[Scene: Central Perk, its the same scene from the end of last weeks show. Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Ohh! Thats so sweet of you! Oh yum! (Takes a bite out of the sandwich and starts to get sick.) Did you put pickles on this?
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant Kitchen, she is frantically working and is handing two finished dishes to a waitress.]
Monica: No! Thats where we keep the canned goods! Have you completely forgotten everything you learned at orientation?
[cut to later, in Rosss huddle.]
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, the movie is ending and it takes the applause to wake up Chandler.]
Phoebe: Umm, that papers two weeks old.
Joey: I call Monicas room!
Phoebe: Whats wrong Mon?
Chandler: All right ladies, heres what were gonna do. (Points to a stripper.) You are gonna take off my clothes. (To another two strippers) You two, go get the oils. (To another stripper) And you just constantly scream at the top of your voice, "Chandlers the king! Chandlers the king!"
Chandler: Well, I dont really know what that is, but lets!!
Monica: All right then, then nothing changes! Everything is great! Everything stays the same! And you go unpack because its been three days and its driving me insane!
Phoebe: Okay, whatever. Yknow what? I dont have time have time to convince you because hes only here for four hours, and Im gonna go see him! (Gets up and leaves.)
Joey: I know! My grandmothers gonna see this!
Phoebe: Oh-ooh, and I brought Operation, but umm I lost the umm (It starts buzzing) Its making a noise.
Frank: Its so cool man, its so, its just cause being with her is so much better than like not being with her.
Phoebe: Oh I do! (She grabs her huge purse and starts rummaging through it and taking out various items in a futile search for the gum.) Oh, yknow what? No. (Pause) Wait a second. (She removes a bag filled with water that has a goldfish swimming in it.) I know its in here somewhere.
Chandler: Oh, thats mature.
Joey: Its between us and the sea, Ross!
Monica: Phoebe! Come on! Lets go! (Knocks on her door.) Come on! (Phoebe enters with guitar and not ready to go.) Why arent you dressed yet?!
Ross: Oh, somebodys feeling better.
Rachel: (calling from the bathroom) All right, whos turn is it to help me get up!
Phoebe: Theres sooo much you dont know.
[Cut to Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there. I think its The One With The Joke.]
Rachel: No. Ross, it, it just seems that y'know its time we-we y'know, move on. I mean, I mean dont you think?
[Scene: Allesandros, Joey is eating some cheese.]
Joey: All right, relax. Its just a shoe.
The Waiter: Well thats not true.
Mrs. Geller: Whats this? Blue nail polish?
Monica: Thats not funny.
[Cut to his bedroom, Ross is listening at the door as Paul opens the door, trapping Ross behind it. With Pauls back turned Ross coils up like a snake and slitters underneath the bed.]
Rachel: All right, fine, but dont get mad at me. Its-its just a little hard to believe.
[Chandler proceeds to point out Joeys errors in this forth set of flashbacks. The first flashback is from The One With The Cat. Chandler has just returned home to see that their apartment has been cleaned out and finds Joey trapped in the entertainment center.]
Phoebe: I know but its so hard! Nothing rhymes with your stupid name!
Ross: You have 30 seconds. And the lightning round beginsstop it (Chandler stops jumping)now. What was Monicas nickname when she was a field hockey goalie?
Joey: It wasnt my ring! Its Rosss ring! Thats why I felt so bad Rach, because he was going to propose.
Monica: Heres Frannie. Hmm, wont she be happy to see me? (Starts to get up and great Frannie.)
Mark: Yep. Yep, thats what I didnt want to know.
Chandler, Monica, and Rachel: Great!! Thats great!
Phoebe: Yeah, whats your point?
Ross: I mean, theres no point in spending time with someone if-if its just fun. Its gotta be, its gotta be going somewhere right? So where-where is it going? (Pause) Ah! Thats-thats the real question. And-and the answer is is its going somewhere fun. Now I-I know what youre thinking, fun was fine for you like ten years ago yknow, but youre-youre not getting any younger. No I meanNo not you, not you, youyou are getting younger. I meanyou-you look like youre getting younger by the secondWhats your secret?
Joey: Yknow what? I think thats enough for today. Thanks for your help! (He grabs their scripts and heads for his room.)
Phoebe: What am I supposed to do? Ask every guy I make out with if hes married? (Rachel looks at her.) No, yeah, I should.
Phoebe: (On the phone, in New York) Uh, hello, this is Ross Gellers personal physician, Dr. Philange.
Mr. Douglas: Thats unbelievable.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Chandler, and Monica are there. Rachel is reading everyones horoscope.]
Chandler: I think its great that you work here. Youre going to make a lot of money, and heres your first tip: Dont eat yellow snow. (He laughs, then picks up a pen, glares at Ross, and writes in his journal). Ah ha ha, 2:15, coffeehouse.
Joey: Thats crazy.
Ross: Thats okay, Im cool over here. Ill catch up with you later, Joey. (Joey is shocked.)
[Theres a knock on the door.]
Joey: Theres a lost and found? (Gunther sets the box up on the table.) My shoe! (Grabs it out of the box.)
Chandler: Cause its-its not his last name.
Chandler: (Points to one) Thats one?
Phoebe: Its a Ms. Pac-Man machine!!
Chandler: That-thats bad?
[Scene: The Gellers Kitchen, Monica and Phoebe are still cooking.]
[Scene: Dots Spot, Chip and Monica are on there date, eating dinner. Chip is telling a story.]
Rachel: No its not!
Joey: They have a kid together, y'know. Theyre like, theyre like a family, and if, I dont know, theres chance they could make that work, I know I wouldnt want to be the guy who stood in the way of that. Are you okay? Do you wanna ah, come poke a nude guy?
(Ross gets fed up with Joeys banging and stops him by pulling him away from the door.)
Phoebe: Yeah, but youve got to pull yourself together! Monica cant see you like this! Then shell know somethings wrong!
Rachel: Okay, look, Ross, I realise that my Father is difficult, but thats why you have got to be the bigger man here.
Frank: Well um, I was in ah Mrs. Knights ah, I mean Alice, sorry, Alice, I always do that. I was in her ah, Home Ec class.
Ross: Oh-oh, youre-youre fellow scholars. What exactly were you looking for, hmm? Perhaps, (Grabs a book from the shelf behind him) perhaps Dr. Chester Stocks musings on the Smiledon Californicus?
Chandler: Its your parents anniversary and youre going to talk about their dead pet?
Rachel: Oo, I cant watch this, its like Sophies Choice.
Rachel: Well, at least thats a great suit.
[Scene: Joannas office, Rachel and Chandler are still negotiating.]
Bonnie: You guys, the waters great. You should really go in.
Rachel: Oh-oh, sorry, its this way, its this way. (Motions to the correct way.)
Chandler: Thats still yours. Okay, now remember its a surprise party. So, when you go in, act surprised.
Phoebe: Thats right, exactly. (sees them) All right, its a good bye kiss, thats good. (Frank picks Alice up and they move to the couch) Bye-bye. (They both lie down on the couch and start to make out.) Okay, no, the important thing is that you see what Im saying, y'know, just y'know, this is clearly wrong. (They ignore her) Okay, Ive decided Im gonna let this happen! Okay, can I just get my purse? (She reaches in and Alice moans) Okay, all right, good. (leaves).
Rachel: Yeah, thats true.
Rachel: Oh! Did you hear that?! My dads proud of me! My dads proud of me.
Guru Saj: Well its gone.
Joey: Oh-ooh, thats the turn-on.
Ross: Ben, say hi to Aunt Monica. (He holds the phone to the fake Ben he has created out of a pumpkin.) Oh, I guess he doesnt feel like talking right now. Hes smiling though! Okay, talk to you later.
Phoebe Sr: No-no-no, the-the puppys yours.
Joshua: Ah, thats okay, thanks.
Joey: Whats ready?
Rachel: Yeah, my mom got my dads season tickets in the divorce, so she just gave them to me.
Phoebe: But, I mean, do you think hes gonna enjoy it when hes up to his elbows in the diapers from all the babies they have to have right away?! This is not fair to Frank, (she walks behind them again, and hey again turn to follow her) and it-its not fair to the babies, and y'know what, its not good home economics.
Chandler: Oh-no, hes right.
[Joey walks back inside just as Rosss dance is finishing.]
Monica: Whats Phase Two?
The Interviewer: (returning) So, as Joeys friends, is there anything that you guys think our readers ought to know?
Ross: I dont know, I could maybe go out for a couple of beers, but theres this thing about bumblebees on The Discovery Channel that I was planning to watch.
Kate: Nooo. And theres really no reason he should find out, so ah lets not make a big deal about it, okay?
[Scene: Monicas new kitchen, Allesandro is introducing her to her new employees.]
Joey: (to Rachel) Will you hurry up? Did you not hear me before when I told you that all of Janines friends are dancers?! And that theyre going to be drinking alot!?
Allesandro: Its Allesandro, from Allesandros.
Rachel: (grabbing a beer out of the chairs fridge) I am so psyched I kept this chair for myself!
Joey: No-no-no, Im serious. You dont smell it? Somethings on fire.
Monica: Uh-oh, whats the matter?