words in movies
(Rachel opens the trash chute, winces at the smell, and throws the garbage bag in. She then tries to throw the pizza box in, but since its so big she jams it into the opening and it prevents the door from closing. She then turns around too see Mr. Treeger watching her.)
Rachel: Ummm. Oh! Im sorry. (She grabs the box and offers him a piece.) Its a little old but
[Cut to Monica and Rachels apartment as Rachel returns in tears.]
Monica: Joey, please dont do that. I think its best that we just forget about it.
Rachel: Thats easy for you to say, you werent almost just killed.
Joey: All right thats it, school is in session! (Exits and slams the door.)
Monica: (Picking up a card from Chandlers wallet.) My God! Is this a gym card?
Chandler: Oh Maria. You cant say no to her, shes like this lycra spandex covered gym treat.
[Scene: Treegers apartment, Joey knocks on the door and Treeger opens it.]
Mr. Treeger:: Yeah, well your friends are in violation of it. Ive been a nice guy up until now, but uh, I dont need this grief. Im gonna call the landlord and tell him that Monica is illegally subletting here grandmothers apartment. Your friends are outta here pal.
Monica: Whats the matter?
Phoebe: Oh no, it is forbidden! No-no, Mrs. Potter fires people for fooling around with clients. And its against my oath as a masseuse.
Phoebe: No, I made myself take an oath. Yeah, no fooling around with clients and umm, always be prepared. Yeah, that ones actually from the Boy Scouts, but it just makes good sense.
Chandler: Because thats the only part of you he can see when hes on the table!
Phoebe: Because its Arabian princess day at work! Okay?! Leave me alone!
Joey: He said that he wasnt gonna apologize because you guys are living here illegally, so instead what hes gonna do is have you evictedIll see you later.
Rachel: Thats not true! (Starts to cry.)
[Scene: Chandlers gym, He and Ross are there to cancel his membership.]
Ross: Good! Thats good!
Ross: Its okay man, be strong. (Chandler goes into the office.)
[Scene: Heeling Hands Inc., Phoebes work, she is giving a massage to the guy, Rick, she likes.]
Rick: Would you mind spending some time on my siadic area, its been killing me today.
[Scene: Mr. Treegers apartment, Joey is there to suck up.]
Joey: Thats not, prison lingo, is it?
Joey: Yeah, theres this superintendents dance, the Super Ball. I dont know, and he wants to impress Marge, this lady super that hes a crush on.
Joey: Well, hes too shy, he doesnt thing hes good enough to dance with girls yet.
Ross: And thats funny, why?
Rachel: Oh, umm, I was just yknow working out and umm Oh, thats it.
Chandler: Now, theres two reasons.
Ross: And thats not against your oath?!
[Scene: Treegers apartment, Joey knocks and Mr. Treeger opens the door.]
Joey: All right, Im here, lets ahh, get this over with.
Joey: No, its okay, but if Im Marge, my breasts are coming out my back.
Mr. Treeger:: Im sure as hell a dancer, its no use Marge will never go for me.
Joey: Come on Treeger, dont say that. You just ahh, you just need more practice. Here, come on, lets ahh, lets try it again. Come on. (they start dancing again) Plus, it was, it was probably mostly my fault, anyway. I mean, yknow, Im not really that comfortable dancing with a(Treeger throws him) We-he!! Hey!
Joey: Hey-hey, hold on, this isnt some kind of like girly dance. All right, its like a sport, its manly!
[Scene: Ross and Chandlers bank, they are there to close their accounts.]
Phoebe: (thinking to herself) Okay, baseball. Rick, playing baseball. Okay, slides into second, maybe even his pants come down a little Oh nowait no, no! No! Okay, all right, sandwiches, sandwiches. Umm, okay, on a plate, maybe Ricks pants come down a little. No! No! Okay, Chandler! Okay Chandler, ooh, thats working.
Phoebe: (thinking to herself) Chandlers knees. Chandlers ankles. Chandlers ankle hair. (notices the clock) Oh no. (to Rick) Okay, youre all set.
(Suddenly, Phoebes boss, Mrs. Potter, and a client, Mr. Simon, enters.)
Mrs. Potter: Mr. Simons been waiting for(sees Phoebe and Rick) Oh my God!
Phoebe: Its so weird, I have never been fired from anything before!
Phoebe: I just-I just started walking around not knowing what to do next, yknow? I-I started asking people on the street if they wanted massages. Then these policemen, thought I was a whore too. Its been a really bad day, whore wise.
(Theres a knock on the door and Chandler answers it.)
Mr. Treeger:: Yeah, but yknow, I think the reason were not getting that spin right is because my apartments too small.
Mr. Treeger:: Yeah, you could dance real good with her, shes the same size as me.
(Treeger leaves, and Joeys dances off.)
[Scene: Lara and Jenis Massage, Phoebe is interviewing for a job.]
Interviewer: So it looks like youve got some great experience here. Lets see ahh, reason for leaving last job?
A Woman: Lets go!!
Phoebe: Well yeah, that and Chandlers problem.
Monica: Oh, can I borrow this? (points to his milk) My milks gone bad.
Joey: What?! Whats wrong with my eyes.
Joey: (shaking Rachels hand) Hi!
Kathy: (entering) Hey! (sees whats on TV) Oh God, is that Baywatch?
Receptionist: Well, heres a schedule of whats coming up. (Hands it to him.)
[Cut to Rachels bedroom.]
Monica: (outside the door) Its Monica, open up!
Monica: So its okay to date a student.
Chandler: Oh, shes got you running errands, yknow, picking up wedding dresses (Laughs and makes like Indiana Jones and his whip) Wah-pah!
Chandler: No-no, hes not back yet, but hell be here any minute. So uh, come on in. Have a seat. Bow or stern?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is singing outside Monica and Chandlers door.]
Chandler: Whats the matter honey?
Mr. Thompson: Thats good. Very good! (Walks away.)
Chandler: (on phone) Hey, its me. I know you cant stand to be in the same room as me, so I just thought Id try and apologize over the phone. All I (Joey hangs up the phone in disgust.)
Chandler: What in Gods name is that?!
Ross: Well, I was just playing with him, and y'know we were doing the alphabet song, which he used to be really good at, but suddenly hes leaving out e and f. Its like they just ah, I dont know, fell out of his head.
Emily: I wish I could know if youd heard any of that. I suppose Ive either just told you I love you or given my neighbours a good laugh. Mrs. Newman if youre listening, bugger off this in none of your business. I suppose theres not much chance you did heard that, and theres the call waiting so, I should go. Oh well. (Answers the call waiting.) Hello.
Ross: (To Chandler) You dont think its a little crazy that you get all my points just cause you
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Monica is cleaning with a vacuum and then she cleans it with a dust buster. The guys enter the room.]
Joey: No thats all right. Dont worry about it.
Phoebe: Okay, lets talk outside.
[Scene: The Restaurant, Monica and Chandlers and Richard and Lisas tables have been pushed together and theyre all eating and talking.]
[Scene: Rosss lawyers office, his name is Russell and has just been told by Ross about his current situation.]
Joey: (turning and whispering to Monica) Shes not crazy is she?
(We see Joey who has puffed up his cheeks and Chandler nonchalantly reaches down and pinches Joeys nose shut. In a few seconds, Joey has to move because hes now forced to actually hold his breath.)
Rachel: Whats up, Ross?
Chandler: Honey, its gonna be okay.
Monica: Rachel! Rachel! You havent touched Eldads hair!
Ross: Okay, good stuff. Umm, well shes-shes sweet and pretty and
Rachel: (interrupting her) Oh Phoebe, thats a great story. Can you tell it to me when youre getting me some iced tea? (Phoebe gets up and Rachel groans.) (To the baby) Oh God, get out! Get out!! Get out!! Get out!!
Chandler: Oh, its not important? Its not important?! If it wasnt for a brides maid youd be marrying him (Points to Joey) not me!
[Scene: Joannas office, Rachel and Chandler are having a little tug-of-war with his pants.]
Rachel: Oh but look! Thats gonna leave a stain!
Chandler: Okay. But if you dont come back soon, (She leaves and closes the door) theres pretty much nothing I can do about it!
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on! This is not, this is not a marriage!! This is the worlds worst hangover! Ross, listen, if you do not get this annulment, I will!
Joey: Well okay, so then youre fine. The rule is when two actors are actually doing it off-stage all the sexual tension between them is gone. Okay? So as long as its hot onstage you got nothing to worry about. Its when the heat goes away, thats when youre in trouble.
Chandler: Hang on, she’s right here. (he enters the living room and hands the phone to Monica) Someone's on the phone, for ya.
[Scene: A hallway, Joey and Ross find Mr. Geller with his ear up against a janitors closet door.]
Phoebe: Well, hes never coming back! Okay? You just cost me eight dollars a week!
Monica: Because its my apartment!
Rachel: All right! Yknow what? Thats it! You wanna do it?! Lets do it!
[Scene: Monicas bedroom, she has just lost her flower to Chandler.]
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Joey: Whoa-whoa, whats the matter?! Talk to the captain!
Rachel: (looking around) Who are you talking too? Oh, youre kidding! Oh, its a joke! (Laughs.) Its funny. Its funny. I dont get it. (Joey doesnt say any thing and Rachel realizes its not a joke.) Oh. (Pause) Okay. Umm I-I uh, wow. Are you uh How did umm When?
Chandler: Hey! Hows the boat?!
Chandler: Well, its good that you finally have a place to do that.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is meeting with Mr. Posner, Mrs. Lynch, and Joanna the hiring committee.]
Monica: Whats wrong Phoebe?
Phoebe: (reading from her book) Mon (Pause as she restarts) Marcia and Chester are planning on seeing a movie on Sunday night. Marcia thinks theyre supposed to meet at six, Chester thinks its at seven.
[Monica and Chandler make What was that? gestures. Joey and Ross go into Rachels old room.]
Chandler: Cause its gross.
Rachel: Yeah I know its really boring, but its like a big deal. Anyway, I was thinking about renting Cujo sometime.
Rachel: Times up, now your dead.
Phoebe: Come on, its not that big a deal!
Monica: (not amused by Chandlers joke) I miss Rachel. (To Chandler) No, my parents.
Joeys Grandmother: No! I did!
The Producer: (walking into Macs office) So uh, heres your office set!
Phoebe: Come on! The boss that fires a guy thats just been dumped, bitch! And the woman who dumps a guy thats just been fired, blond bitch!
Ross: Lets give it a shot.
Chandler: Look, Joey, Kathy is clearly not fulfilling your emotional needs. But Casey, I mean granted I only saw the back of her head, but I got this sense that shes-shes smart, and funny, and gets you.
Chandler: Well, lets see (Finding the picture he wants.) Okay uh, is that her? (Pointing to the picture.)
Chandler: Mr. D, hows it going, sir?
Phoebe: Thats what you think.
Chandler: Well, actually its a hockey team, so its angry Canadians with no teeth.
Parker: Oh well, at least you were lucky to have him. Bow-wow old friend, bow-wow. So wheres the party?
Phoebe: Ameri-can. Y'know its a very hard language. Lets do it again.
Monica: Oh no its not, no its not. Its a first date. Im sure that nothing is gonna (as she is talking we see Ross close his drapes.)
Rachel: Thats nice.
Phoebe: Uh-huh, yeah thats right.
Monica and Phoebe: Oh, thats great!!
Rachel: Its the same story.
Chandler: No-no-no-no, this is bad! Its bad! This is bad!
Joey: Ill be playing Drake Remorays twin brother, Stryker!
Phoebe: Oh, its so great to see you feeling like this!
Tag: Thats it. Thats my whole name.
Hypnosis Tape: Cigarettes dont control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke.
Monica: I cant tell you. Its a secret.
Ross: Thats, thats pretty. (They start to dance and Gert tries to step on Rosss feet, but he pulls them out of harms way.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What are you doing there Gert?
Chandler: Well, thats the best kiss Ive had with anyone Ive ever met in a mens room.
Monica: Oh, theres banana on it.
Rachel: (seeing whos trapped) Hey
Phoebe: Yeah, but if I do tell him, then hes gonna hate myself. I mean look at him and his Mom, I cant. (pause) But, you guys can, please you gotta talk him out of it.
Chandler: Hey! Whats up?
Joey: Nothing, hes just really believes in that.
Rachel: Ohh, so do you! Did you lose weight? (Shes not quite sure of that one.)
Phoebe: Yeah, do you want to break a dying womans heart?
Ross: Umm, okay, yeah, sure. But wh-whats wrong with Monica and Chandler?
Nurse #2: Its not hopeless! Dr. Stryker Remorays a miracle worker. Look, here he comes.
Tag: Hi! Rachel Greens office.
Woman: I bet its fast.
Tag: Rachel Greens office. (Hangs up.)
Monica: Thats a good idea! I bet they have one of those wind machines! Yknow (Does the whole hair blowing in the wind model type poses.)
Ross: She is not (Realizes) Shes gay. Oh my God. She is so gay! I cant believe this.
Joey: (muffled by the mouth guard) Hey you guys! Whats happening?
Chandler: Yeah that was stupid. Lets not do that.
Rachel: Well yeah, sure, whats up?
Rachel: Whys that?