words in movies
(Rachel opens the trash chute, winces at the smell, and throws the garbage bag in. She then tries to throw the pizza box in, but since its so big she jams it into the opening and it prevents the door from closing. She then turns around too see Mr. Treeger watching her.)
Rachel: Ummm. Oh! Im sorry. (She grabs the box and offers him a piece.) Its a little old but
[Cut to Monica and Rachels apartment as Rachel returns in tears.]
Monica: Joey, please dont do that. I think its best that we just forget about it.
Rachel: Thats easy for you to say, you werent almost just killed.
Joey: All right thats it, school is in session! (Exits and slams the door.)
Monica: (Picking up a card from Chandlers wallet.) My God! Is this a gym card?
Chandler: Oh Maria. You cant say no to her, shes like this lycra spandex covered gym treat.
[Scene: Treegers apartment, Joey knocks on the door and Treeger opens it.]
Mr. Treeger:: Yeah, well your friends are in violation of it. Ive been a nice guy up until now, but uh, I dont need this grief. Im gonna call the landlord and tell him that Monica is illegally subletting here grandmothers apartment. Your friends are outta here pal.
Monica: Whats the matter?
Phoebe: Oh no, it is forbidden! No-no, Mrs. Potter fires people for fooling around with clients. And its against my oath as a masseuse.
Phoebe: No, I made myself take an oath. Yeah, no fooling around with clients and umm, always be prepared. Yeah, that ones actually from the Boy Scouts, but it just makes good sense.
Chandler: Because thats the only part of you he can see when hes on the table!
Phoebe: Because its Arabian princess day at work! Okay?! Leave me alone!
Joey: He said that he wasnt gonna apologize because you guys are living here illegally, so instead what hes gonna do is have you evictedIll see you later.
Rachel: Thats not true! (Starts to cry.)
[Scene: Chandlers gym, He and Ross are there to cancel his membership.]
Ross: Good! Thats good!
Ross: Its okay man, be strong. (Chandler goes into the office.)
[Scene: Heeling Hands Inc., Phoebes work, she is giving a massage to the guy, Rick, she likes.]
Rick: Would you mind spending some time on my siadic area, its been killing me today.
[Scene: Mr. Treegers apartment, Joey is there to suck up.]
Joey: Thats not, prison lingo, is it?
Joey: Yeah, theres this superintendents dance, the Super Ball. I dont know, and he wants to impress Marge, this lady super that hes a crush on.
Joey: Well, hes too shy, he doesnt thing hes good enough to dance with girls yet.
Ross: And thats funny, why?
Rachel: Oh, umm, I was just yknow working out and umm Oh, thats it.
Chandler: Now, theres two reasons.
Ross: And thats not against your oath?!
[Scene: Treegers apartment, Joey knocks and Mr. Treeger opens the door.]
Joey: All right, Im here, lets ahh, get this over with.
Joey: No, its okay, but if Im Marge, my breasts are coming out my back.
Mr. Treeger:: Im sure as hell a dancer, its no use Marge will never go for me.
Joey: Come on Treeger, dont say that. You just ahh, you just need more practice. Here, come on, lets ahh, lets try it again. Come on. (they start dancing again) Plus, it was, it was probably mostly my fault, anyway. I mean, yknow, Im not really that comfortable dancing with a(Treeger throws him) We-he!! Hey!
Joey: Hey-hey, hold on, this isnt some kind of like girly dance. All right, its like a sport, its manly!
[Scene: Ross and Chandlers bank, they are there to close their accounts.]
Phoebe: (thinking to herself) Okay, baseball. Rick, playing baseball. Okay, slides into second, maybe even his pants come down a little Oh nowait no, no! No! Okay, all right, sandwiches, sandwiches. Umm, okay, on a plate, maybe Ricks pants come down a little. No! No! Okay, Chandler! Okay Chandler, ooh, thats working.
Phoebe: (thinking to herself) Chandlers knees. Chandlers ankles. Chandlers ankle hair. (notices the clock) Oh no. (to Rick) Okay, youre all set.
(Suddenly, Phoebes boss, Mrs. Potter, and a client, Mr. Simon, enters.)
Mrs. Potter: Mr. Simons been waiting for(sees Phoebe and Rick) Oh my God!
Phoebe: Its so weird, I have never been fired from anything before!
Phoebe: I just-I just started walking around not knowing what to do next, yknow? I-I started asking people on the street if they wanted massages. Then these policemen, thought I was a whore too. Its been a really bad day, whore wise.
(Theres a knock on the door and Chandler answers it.)
Mr. Treeger:: Yeah, but yknow, I think the reason were not getting that spin right is because my apartments too small.
Mr. Treeger:: Yeah, you could dance real good with her, shes the same size as me.
(Treeger leaves, and Joeys dances off.)
[Scene: Lara and Jenis Massage, Phoebe is interviewing for a job.]
Interviewer: So it looks like youve got some great experience here. Lets see ahh, reason for leaving last job?
Chandler: Buh-bye. (Hangs up the phone) I just got us reservations at Michelles and tickets to the Musicman to celebrate our first holiday season as a betroughed couple.
Rachel: No, we didnt get married! Thats ridiculous!
Monica: Were going to Las Vegas to see your dad. Its time you two talked, and I want to get to know my father-in-law.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is still dressing Joshua. He is trying on a pair of pants.]
Monica's Boyfriend: Can anyone else name a well known seed thats been masquerading as a nut?
[Inside Monica and Chandlers. Joey is almost done explaining the situation to everyone.]
Rachel: Its good. Except he makes us watch the Discovery Channel all day long. Did you know that something really boring happened to someone really ugly in the Middle Ages? (to the waitress handing her a cup of coffee) Oh, thank you. Ill see you guys later.
Rachel: We just uh, we just met at the newsstand. We both grabbed for the last Field & Stream. (Chandlers shocked.) What? I read that.
Joey: Its the Knicks!
Joey: Yeah but its too much stuff. You know like, you got the candles and the foofy schmoofer thing here and over here you got a picture of a watering can.
[Scene: Phoebes hospital room, Joey and Ross enter as Phoebe comes out of the bathroom wearing her robe.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe’s reading, Joey has just entered the room]
Joey: I know! I know its awful.
Monica: Nobody cares about the Dakotas. (Thats true in so many ways, trust me, Ive lived in one and been to the other.)
Rachel: Oh. Oh yeah, dont get to worked up over it. I mean it-it sounds like hes a doctor, but hes not.
Ross: I am the guy who�s taking care of our baby while you�re out at bars meeting guys!
Rachel: Well, I gotta get up early and its almost seven oclock.
Chandler: All right, theres a nuclear holocaust, Im the last man on Earth. Would you go out with me?
Phoebe: Well, he may not be my soul mate, but a girls gotta eat.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its after Ross and Joeys talk with Frank, and Phoebes is finding out what happened.]
Monica: And everybody has to wear costumes. (And theres general disconcertment.) Come on! Itll be fun!
Ross: Okay. (goes over to the counter) (to Chandler) What ah, what is the matter with you? Whats going on?
Cassie: (hugs him) Its been so long! Last time I saw you, you were setting up your tent in line to see Return of the Jedi.
Rachel: Okay, its not Relaxi Cab. Its Relaxicab, like taxicab.
Rachel: We have to have a surprise Bon Voyage party for Emily. But its actually for Joshua. (Starts handing out party hats.) Look, he said hes not ready to date, so I had to invite him to a party if I wanted to see him outside of work, and now I have the perfect opportunity to seduce him! (Hands Ross a party hat.)
Rachel: Really! God Ross, what were you thinking? (To Phoebe, quietly) I know its really shallow, but a part of me wants him again.
Ross: Yeah, but it didnt fit. Well, luckily theres a store here that has one left in her size, but Im the groom, Im not supposed to see the dress
Joey: I know! Thats why we got to find Monica!! You know where she is?
Jessica Lockhart: Whats the matter Dina? Dont you recognize your own (Does a hair flip) mother?!
Ross: Thats correct! This is an audio question, what do you do when the baby makes this sound? (Makes a sound like someone is choking a cat.)
Chandler: We are. Hes meeting us here.
Chandler: Yeah okay. Well, whats the next little bit?
Ross: Carol, honey, shhh, shhh, everythings gonna be alright.
Monica: Phoebe, its okay. You dont have to tip toe around me. I-Ive been thinking about it and umm, yknow what? Im okay about not having that new relationship feeling
Dr. Green: So! (they both try to sit next to Rachel but Dr. Green is successful.) (to Ross) Hows the library?
Chandler: Ohh, thats a good one.
Sophie: Maybe hes intimated by really smart, strong, successful women.
[Scene: Rosss birthday, night has fallen and Joey and Ross are walking by where his car is parked to find that both cars blocking him in have left.]
Emily: Oh, theres tonnes of terrific stuffIll go with you!
Melissa: So last I heard you were gonna get married. (Grabs Rachels hand and notices that she doesnt have a ring on it.) (Sadly) Oh poor Ray-ray.
Phoebe: Well, but thats what he was for me. And she you know, kind of stole him away, and then... broke his heart... and then he wouldnt even talk to me any more. Because he said he didnt wanna be around... anything that looked like either one of us.
Joey: (still looking in date book) Hey! Thats the day after I stop menstruating! (They all look at him.) This isnt mine.
Joanna: Knowing youre here, waiting for me I think its kinda exciting.
Phoebe: (sips it) Its so good. (Monica and Rachel breath a sigh of relief.) Oh, thanks.
Phoebe: Yeah! No, thats right. And I thought it was a really good idea.
Rachel: Im fine, but thats not important. Whats important is how was she?
Phoebe: Theres a skylight?! (Runs to see and yells from the bedroom.) Wow!!
Joey: Nothing. Its just old and dingy, thats all.
Rachel: Cause I know hes gonna flip out and I hate it when hes angry.
Estelle: The thing is its kinda on the Q.T. The actor who has the part doesnt know he might be fired. Its the lead in a series, Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.
Phoebe: Yeah! And look, (Grabs the pants) see how they expand as the baby grows? (Theres a stretchy part in front.) And then after the babys born, theyre great for shoplifting melons.
Ross: Look Ben, it's a toy that protects U.S. oil interests overseas!
Phoebe: Oh no-no, no, I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And thats not happening til October 15th, 2032.
Ross: What?! The guys against the girls? See, thats ridiculous Monica, because Im only down by three touchdowns.
Monica: Ah no, you see, someone was supposed to take them down around New Years... but obviously someone forgot.
Chandler: Yeah, thats like the most ugliest dress Ive ever seen. Wh-why do you to return it?
Rachel: (entering, carrying an armful of those little soaps.) Hey-hey, you guys oh hurry up, get some, theres a whole cart outside (Sees the Walthams and stops.)
Phoebe: Okay. Umm, before we get started, I just wanna say for the record that I love Ross, I think hes such a great guy. Here. (Hands her the picture, Rachel grabs it out of her hand.) Okay, now, close your eyes. And imagine that youre with Ross okay and imagine that youre kissing him. And youre-youre running your hands all over his body. And then you run your hands through his hair, but eew-oh gross its some kind of grease, itsuck! Hah?
Joey: I am so-so-so sorry. I was gonna do it! Really! But I was standing there with 327 dollars in one hand and 238 dollars in the other hand, and I was thinking, "Wow! Its been a long time since I had (tries to do the math in his head, but cant) 327 + 238 dollars!"
Monica: Yeah and-and Im sorry too. But, well I justI like things done a certain way and the chemistrys just not right.
Phoebe: I can say I told you so but shes kinda doing that for me.
Joey: (taking the baby) She looks so real! (The gang looks at him.) Yknow what I mean! Shes this whole tiny little person. She already has eyelashes and knees and uh-oh.
Chandler: Its your mommy. Its your mommy.
(Ross starts looking for table six and finds out that its the kids table. He sees Mona sitting at another table.)
[Scene: Healing Hands Inc. (Phoebes work), Frank is being ushered in, by the arm, to the room Phoebe is in by another girl.]
Rachel: Phoebe, Im going to Rosss wedding because he is my ex-boyfriend and that would be really uncomfortable. Not because, Im still in love with him! I mean, hey, yknow, I like Ross as much as the next guy, yknow? Clearly I have feelings for him, but feelings dont mean love! I mean, I still have loving feelings for Ross. Yeah! But, I have, I have continuing feelings of love, but that doesnt mean that-that Im still in love with him. Yknow? I-I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love himOhh! Oh my God! Oh mywhy didnt you tell me?!!
Phoebe: Concert. Yeah. That does put us in quite a pickle. Because you see Im very busy before and after the concert, and hes obviously busy during.
Rachel: No its okay, this is whats gonna happen. Im gonna wait a couple years and then the baby will tell him.
Rachel: Oh. (smiles) Heres your moisturiser. Hi!
Joey: No Im not. Why would you say that? Thats just mean.
Ross: (shocked) You dont have a valid drivers licenseOkay that is it! Pull over right now!
Chandler: (answering it) Hello. (listens) (to Ross) Its Gandolf!!! (on phone) So, are you in town? (listens) (disappointed) Oh, well, well maybe next time then. (Hangs up)
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Phoebe: Quite an interesting turn of events, suddenly its my book to the rescue, huh? (Reading her book) Ooh, very interesting. Yeah, well this certainly clears things up.
Joey: Yeah! Oh my God! (to Chandler) Is this what its like to be you?
(Joey goes back into the apartment, runs back into the hallway, throws his shoulder against the door, and knocks it down off its hinges.)
Rachel: Thats right, he can have his job back. Im glad we got that all straightened out. There you go, Joey, you got your job back.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are still debating about how to tell Rachel that Chandlers moving in and shes moving out.]
Ross: Yeah, kinda. Its this woman from work. I hope that wont be too weird. Will it, Rach?
Joey: What?! Thats not fair! Its not my fault! I was off with my brides maid! And whos to say I wouldve even said yes?! (To Monica) I mean I wouldve said yes. Chandler look y-y-you are making way to big a deal out of this, all right? Look, everything worked out okay!
Chandler: Y'know what, I think this might be one of the times hes wrong.
Chandler: Bye. (Finally closes the door on her.) (After its closed) I cant stand the woman! (Phoebe is shocked, Joey is relieved.)
Joey: Oh yeah, sure, that makes sense. Yeah. Cause you already told her you love her and she didnt say it back, then she called you and told you that theres another guy, so yeah, go to London thatll scare her!
[Scene: The hallway of Rosss building, there is a Brown Bird girl selling cookies, as Ross and Chandler come up the stairs.]
Ross: Well, I tried! But when I got to my lawyers office all I could hear was, "Three divorces. Three divorces!" Look, I just dont want my tombstone to read, Ross Gellar, Three Divorces.
Rachel: Oh yes, its me! Sorry!
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Hes got a, hes got a really bad cough, and our vet, he cant do anything about it. Is there something you can do?
Phoebe: Huh, well, the girls in the satin nighties on the commercial dont seem to think its that bad.
Ross: Uh, in her defense, shes right. I am stronger. I would destroy you.
Phoebe: Oh, Im Phoebe Buffay. Im one of Rosss best friends.
Monica: I just tell her, I have to get it over with. I told Ross and Phoebe and shes the only one left!
Joey: Wha-a how about this: Another table leaves, right? But there�s still some food left on their place, okay, what�s the restaurant�s policy about people eatin� that?
Phoebe: Is it Ross? Its Ross isnt itOh my God, its Joey!
Monica: Umm, I think I spoke too quickly. There-theres a learning curve with this job and maybe we can try it again.
Ross: It was pretty funny when I, when I hid it for a while, huh? Anyway, umm, I-I am worried about that bathing suit, not because its revealing which Im fine with, no Im concerned about your health, sun exposure.
Phoebe: Thats it! 25 percent? That means thats its like 75 percent chance of no baby at all!
Chandler: Treegers snaking the shower drain.
Joey: (concerned) Oh. Whats, whats going on? Is it mom? Is she sick? Is it dads heart? Is that a sandwich?
Monica: Great! Its so amazing! I mean, last time Dr. Roger came over, I was so nervous, but then after being with you Im all like, "Can the doctor see me now?"
Phoebe: Umm, well hes very dashing, y'know, and umm, very, very sophisticated, and he doesnt speak any English, but according to his translator, he totally gets me.