words in movies
Monica: I know its last minute, but we decided to have a Halloween party.
Phoebe: Oh good! (And theres general excitement.)
Monica: And everybody has to wear costumes. (And theres general disconcertment.) Come on! Itll be fun!
Ross: Thats right! He was hitting on her, and I got her. I guess the better man won. (To Joey) Please dont take her from me.
Phoebe: Ursula! (Ursula turns, smiles, and continues walking.) Wait! Err-err, its me! Phoebe!
Phoebe: Wait a second! So, whats new with you?
Ursula: Yeah! Yeah, its gonna be a small ceremony. Just family. (Phoebe looks at her.) His.
Phoebe: By the way, its a costume party.
Ursula: Oh! Okay, so thats why youre (Motions to what shes wearing.)
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Phoebe: No, its me. Phoebe!
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Monica: What?! Theres only been like four kids.
Ross: (entering) Hey! (Hes wearing a costume as well.)
Ross: Remember the Russian satellite, Sputnik? (They all look at him.) Well, Im a potato or a spud. And these are my antennae. (Points to the colander with an old TV antenna glued on top that hes wearing.) So Sputnik, becomes (Theyre still confused) Spud-nik. Spudnik!
Phoebe: Ursulas fianc�e?
Eric: Okay, I just slapped my future sister-in-laws ass.
Phoebe: No-no! Thats okay, well just start over. Okay? Hi! Im Phoebe.
Eric: Eric. (They shake hands and hes squinting. And, no, its not me.)
Eric: Cause the sweats getting in my eyes and its burning.
Eric: I dont think they have a name for it. Its just I get nervous; I start sweating like crazy.
Eric: Oh umm, Im the solar system. (Hes wearing a black sweater with the planets glued on around the sun.) Yeah, my students helped me make itI teach the second grade.
Phoebe: Yeah! Its so much better than first grade when you dont know whats going on and definitely better than third grade. Yknow with all the politics and mind games.
Eric: Oh I feel very lucky, shes great. I think shes the most beautiful woman Ive ever seen.
Joey: Are you kiddin? Phoebe lived on the street. Okay? Plus, shes got this crazy temper. SheShes not standing right behind me is she?
Phoebe: (walking over) Hey. Ursulas fianc�e is really sweet! Hes a teacher, he does all this volunteer work. Yknow normally yknow, I dont like really sweaty guys. But this one? I could just mop him up!
Monica: Youre getting a crush on your sisters fianc�e.
(Theres a knock on the door and Rachel opens it to a little girl.)
Rachel: Okay, whats your name?
Chandler: Joeys gonna be thrilled! He was hoping youd come by as a slutty nurse.
Joey: Okay, heres a good one for ya. Who do think would win in a fight between Ross and Chandler.
Monica: I cant answer that! Chandlers my husband.
Phoebe: Two weeks? Thats it?
Eric: Yeah, I know it sounds crazy, and its not like me to do something so impulsive, but shes just so perfect, and we have so much in common.
Ross: Thats funny. Yeah. Yknow youre the funniest man here in a pink bunny costume his wife made him wear.
Chandler: Theres no question.
Monica: Ross is really strong! Okay, hes the strongest out of all three of you! (Joey looks at her.) Except for Joey.
Ross: Uh, in her defense, shes right. I am stronger. I would destroy you.
(They start to fight with Ross pulling on Chandlers ears and Chandler hitting Ross over the head with his carrot.)
Monica: Wait-wait!! Okay, stop it! Stop it! Stop! (Breaks it up.) Now listen, no ones gonna fight in this apartment.
Joey: Hey Monica! (Grabs her and pulls her into the living room.) People came to see a fight, lets give em what they came for!
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Rachel: Well, that-thats not your choice. Happy Halloween!
Monica: (To Chandler) Look honey, you dont have to do this, okay? Its the strength you have inside that means the most to me. Youre loyal, youre honest, and you have integrity! Thats the kind of strength that I want in the man that I love!
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe is exiting Monica and Chandlers, and finds Ursula standing in the hallway smoking.]
Phoebe: Yknow the only reason hes marrying you is because he thinks all the things you were saying about yourself were true.
Ursula: Yeah, its a fine line huh?
Ursula: (waving the cigarette in Phoebes face) Its a filthy, disgusting habit and I want you to quit now!
Eric: Shes helped so many people to quit smoking.
Joey: (entering) Pheebs come on! Bunny vs. Doody! Were waiting! (They go inside.) (To Chandler and Ross.) Okay. Okay guys, one match, winner take all. (They grasp each others hand in preparation for battle.) Oh wait-wait! What does the winner get?
(They start wrestling, only they are unable to move either ones arm despite a huge strain on their faces and a cheering crowd.)
[Time Lapse: the crowd has left and only Mona, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are still watching to see who will be able to move the others arm first. An event that has yet to happen.]
Monica: Chandlers making his sex face.
(Basically Chandlers face looks like hes not all there and is staring off into the distance )
Ross: Look this is starting to look really bad for me. Okay? Mona, Monas standing right over there. (Looks behind him.) Oh God, shes talking to Joey! You gotta let me win!
Ross: Come on, who are we kidding? Im doody. Please? Shes watchin.
Eric: I think well be okay. Besides its so perfect and (whispering) shes been saving herself for me.
Phoebe: Okay I cant let you do this! Shes lying to you.
Phoebe: She is lying! And I bet I can prove it. Excuse me. (She grabs Ursulas purse and starts going through it and finds some papers.) Okay. Okay. YeahNot a prayer chain, but what looks like a detailed drawing of a bank floor plan. (Holds up her nametag.) Okay, heres the nametag from the restaurant where she works as a waitress! Not a teacher, a waitress. All right, heres her driver license, this oughta be good, she always lies about this. How old did she say she was?
Eric: I am so stupid. Of course she was lying! Shes not a teacher. Theres not such a thing as the top secret elementary school for the children of spies.
Phoebe: Thats good, you should be impulsive and you should be romantic. Just you did it with the wrong person. (He looks at her.) What?
Eric: Its just so weird, two people look so much alike, and so different.
Ursula: (yelling from downstairs) Eric!! Lets go!!
(Phoebe hands Eric Ursulas purse and he walks away.)
Joey: Thats not so bad.
Rachel: Really? You think thats all it is?
Ross: Oh. Yeah. (Sarcastically) Uh Chandler let me win. No, Chandlers really strong. Oh my arm is so sore. Oh nurse! (Waddles over to Mona.)
Chandler: Oh whats the matter? Are you scared?
Monica: Lets go big bunny!
Chandler: Okay. 1 2 3Go! (Once again hes at a stalemate, but this time hes in pain.) (Pause) Im gonna kill myself!
Rachel: Umm, well lets see Monica and Chandler are occupied.
The Director: Tasty! Im really starting to feel like you guys have a history, its-its nice.
Rachel: You wanna go in the bedroom? Its a little more comfortable.
Phoebe: Please, right now, no, every time I see him its like Is it on the lose? Is it watching me?
Dina: Look, Rachels told me how much easier youve made all this on her. Why cant you do that for me?
Phoebe: My moms gonna be here any minute. I cant do this, I cant give him up. Yesno, I can. I dont want to. But I can. No.
Chandler: Hey, look, youre in trouble either way! Okay? If she comes back and sees me locked to this instead of the chair, shes gonna know you were in here. So you might as well just let me go.
Monica: Phoebe! Rachel! Its Monica! I wonder what you could possibly need me for on such short notice! (She bursts into the apartment to find only Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.) Oh.
Joey: Oh yeah. These are my old work pants, Sergio Valentes.
Joey: No! No! No! Its different for you. Youre so strong and together. Youre not some dumb kid who doesnt know what shes doing.
Monica: Why, whats wrong with my bathroom floor?
Joey: Well, not that its any of your business, but, no, we havent, okay?
Joey: Yeah, hes the reason I didnt get that big Minute Maid commercial a couple of years ago remember? We were supposed to be brothers, but he messed it up.
Monica: Thats a little more than I wanted to see.
Frank: Whens your birthday?
Phoebe: Wow, thats close. Whens yours?
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant, continued from earlier.]
Chandler: Thats right! It was the wrong kind of eight, no wedding! Damnit!
Monica: So hows it going with you guys?
Rachel: Well, its about time.
Phoebe: So umm, now do you have any of Matt Lauers clothes here? Maybe? Just ones that havent been cleaned yet?
Girl: Thats my job!
Frank: Wait thats-thats, what thats not what you do?
Joey: Oh, youre Phoebes fan!
Phoebe: Yknow she might not even notice hes gone.
Chandler: Its an old key!
Joey: Because its faster.
Joey: Wow, its big!
Ross: Uh, do you wanna go change first? The doctors keeping the office open late for us, but if you hurry
Policeman: Thats Hanson.
Isabella: Y'know its ironic...
Joey: Hey, theres a dog out there!
(After hes left, Rachel stops laughing and glares at Joey again.)
Phoebe: (angrily) Bye-bye! (to Ross) Thats why I moved out.
Rachel (on the phone): No, no, this is not what I ordered. Ok? I went all the way to New Jersey so that I could have the perfect cake for my daughter’s birthday and I need a bunny cake, right now!
Phoebe: Its a video of my friend giving birth. Could you just bring it back to your apartment?
[Scene: Classroom. Joey is writing his name on the board, but turns around before hes done which causes him to write his name with a downward curve, and he then underlines it, and draws the line right through his name.]
Monica: Hes so cute.
Ross: You damn kids! You ring my bell one more time, I swear to (Opens the door to find Jill standing there.) Ohh, uh Jill. Umm, that-thats just a little game I play with the kids down the hall. Umm, theyve really taken a liking to me. (Quickly looks out to see if theyre watching.) Uhh whats-whats-whats the matter?
[Scene: Monicas bedroom.]
Ross: (entering) Hey is Rachel here? We have a doctors appointment.
Mr. Douglas: Its pretty ugly. We havent seen an ANUS this bad since the seventies.
Chandler: Lets go.
Eric: Thats weird.
Joey: Look, the point is, theres a lot of women out there you havent even had sex with yet!
Joey: Thats a uh, thats a tough combination.
Monica: (turning around) Okay, heres your penis!
Monica: Wheres your bed?
Chandler: Whats it about?
Phoebe: Okay, its okay.
Ross: My wifes a lesbian.
Phoebe: Whos singing?
Chandler: Yeah, its beautiful.
Rachel: (To Chandler) Im telling you its like watching Bambi learn how to walk.
Joey: Hey, did you get to the part where theyre trapped in the car and Cujos throwin himself at the windshield?
Monica: Whats the part?
Ross: Come on! Thats great.
Rachel: What do you get? (She throws her pom-poms to Joey and Phoebe and performs a cartwheel.) Emily!! (Tries to do another one.) EmilWhoa!! (She falls in Chandlers room.) Okay! So thats me as a cheerleader! Ta-dum! (Gunthers the only one that claps.)
Rachel: Ben yknow when uh, when you were a baby, you and I used to hang out all the time. Cause I was, I was your daddys girlfriend.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its later that morning, everybody has gotten up and Ross and Phoebe has joined them for breakfast. Rachel is returning from shopping.]
Chandler: Joey, its been three days, okay.. Your just a little homesick, Okay. Would you just try to relax. Just, just try to enjoy yourself.
Monica: You know what Id love to do? I would like to go to France and eat nothing but bread and cheeseNot even bread, just cheese. No, I want the bread. Yeah. Ah, and pastries (Breathlessly) And pate. Oh, Im really not high, its just I used to be fat.
Rachel: Yeah. Thats Daddy.
[Time lapse, Phoebe is still asleep only Joey is now passed out next to her and the cars still moving. She wakes up, sees Joey, and screams.]
Joey: Oh! Maybe its because Im on television. Im an actor on Days of Our Lives.
Monica: (sees the bed) Whats this?
Chandler: I was not staring at her. Okay? I was just listening intently. Its called being a good conversationalist. Watch. (Stares at Monicas eyes.) Say something.
Ross: Look, look Im sorry. Its just that....
Rachel: Well thats his last name.
Monica: Its never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship.
Ross: Hey, you only heard Monica�s side of that. That little fatso was a terror.
Joey: Sure I do! Its a verb! As in, "I behalfin it!"
Joey: Yeah, I-I think that women just have a lower threshold of pain than men, thats all. I mean, come on, its just a little wax.
Rachel: And I hope its not an inappropriate time to say this but, youre the best sex I ever had.
Carol: Its a little complicated.
Ross: Well, I asked him if he wanted to eat, he said, "No." I asked him if he wanted to sleep, he said, "No." I asked him what he wanted to do, he said, "No." So, hes sweeping. (We see Ben playing with a broom and a dustpan.)
Monica: All right! Okay, its just Phoebe. Wills still on a diet, Chandler doesnt eat Thanksgiving food, and Rachels having her aversion to poultry.
Joey: (goes over to Chandler) Hey buddy! Hows it going?
Ross: (laughs) Muriel. Wh-why would he call you Muriel? (Ross realizes something.) Oh my God! Chandler M Bing? Its not just an M, your middle name is Muriel!!
Phoebe: Hey lady, your days over! Its my turn!
Monica: (on phone) Okay, great! Bye. (Hangs up as Chandler enters.) So guess whos coming to Thanksgiving dinner?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Phoebe enters with a paper turkey.]
Joey: Oh God. Uh, okay, heres the thing, this is the thing, okay, the thing is...
Rachel: Okay fine! Ill-Ill just tell her its an antique apothecary table, she doesnt have to know where it came from. Oh! Look at this little drawers! Oh look-look it says that it holds 300 CDs.
Rachel: Well, Ive been up since six. Thanks to somebodys dumb-ass rooster.
Rachel: Its gonna be up all night!
Rachel: Come on, its a hypnosis tape. This woman at work used it for two weeks straight and she hasnt smoked since.
Phoebe: Dont you see? Everyones looking at me! The plans working! I didnt even have to take off my top yet!
Chandler: Whats going on?
Rachel: So, I still have boxes here. I still have boxes at Rosss, and I have nowhere to live! Wow. I could so easily freak out right now.
Ross: Ive gotta go, theres a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard! (He hangs up and runs out.)
Chandler: Yeah, well. Its the right thing to do.
Phoebe: Ewww! Oh! Its the Mattress King!
Rachel: Its coming from Joey!
[Cut to Ross leaping into Chandlers Hotel room in London in The One With Rosss Wedding.]
Rachel: Oh, please tell me its not because Im going with Mark.
Phoebe: Hey, its your Thanksgiving too, y'know, instead of watching football, you could help.
Joey: You got pregnant for funny?! Dina if hes funny laugh! All right, Ill be back in a little while! You stay here!
Rachel: I hope its still funny when youre in hell.
Rachel: Lets do it! Ross?