words in movies
Monica: I know its last minute, but we decided to have a Halloween party.
Phoebe: Oh good! (And theres general excitement.)
Monica: And everybody has to wear costumes. (And theres general disconcertment.) Come on! Itll be fun!
Ross: Thats right! He was hitting on her, and I got her. I guess the better man won. (To Joey) Please dont take her from me.
Phoebe: Ursula! (Ursula turns, smiles, and continues walking.) Wait! Err-err, its me! Phoebe!
Phoebe: Wait a second! So, whats new with you?
Ursula: Yeah! Yeah, its gonna be a small ceremony. Just family. (Phoebe looks at her.) His.
Phoebe: By the way, its a costume party.
Ursula: Oh! Okay, so thats why youre (Motions to what shes wearing.)
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Phoebe: No, its me. Phoebe!
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Monica: What?! Theres only been like four kids.
Ross: (entering) Hey! (Hes wearing a costume as well.)
Ross: Remember the Russian satellite, Sputnik? (They all look at him.) Well, Im a potato or a spud. And these are my antennae. (Points to the colander with an old TV antenna glued on top that hes wearing.) So Sputnik, becomes (Theyre still confused) Spud-nik. Spudnik!
Phoebe: Ursulas fianc�e?
Eric: Okay, I just slapped my future sister-in-laws ass.
Phoebe: No-no! Thats okay, well just start over. Okay? Hi! Im Phoebe.
Eric: Eric. (They shake hands and hes squinting. And, no, its not me.)
Eric: Cause the sweats getting in my eyes and its burning.
Eric: I dont think they have a name for it. Its just I get nervous; I start sweating like crazy.
Eric: Oh umm, Im the solar system. (Hes wearing a black sweater with the planets glued on around the sun.) Yeah, my students helped me make itI teach the second grade.
Phoebe: Yeah! Its so much better than first grade when you dont know whats going on and definitely better than third grade. Yknow with all the politics and mind games.
Eric: Oh I feel very lucky, shes great. I think shes the most beautiful woman Ive ever seen.
Joey: Are you kiddin? Phoebe lived on the street. Okay? Plus, shes got this crazy temper. SheShes not standing right behind me is she?
Phoebe: (walking over) Hey. Ursulas fianc�e is really sweet! Hes a teacher, he does all this volunteer work. Yknow normally yknow, I dont like really sweaty guys. But this one? I could just mop him up!
Monica: Youre getting a crush on your sisters fianc�e.
(Theres a knock on the door and Rachel opens it to a little girl.)
Rachel: Okay, whats your name?
Chandler: Joeys gonna be thrilled! He was hoping youd come by as a slutty nurse.
Joey: Okay, heres a good one for ya. Who do think would win in a fight between Ross and Chandler.
Monica: I cant answer that! Chandlers my husband.
Phoebe: Two weeks? Thats it?
Eric: Yeah, I know it sounds crazy, and its not like me to do something so impulsive, but shes just so perfect, and we have so much in common.
Ross: Thats funny. Yeah. Yknow youre the funniest man here in a pink bunny costume his wife made him wear.
Chandler: Theres no question.
Monica: Ross is really strong! Okay, hes the strongest out of all three of you! (Joey looks at her.) Except for Joey.
Ross: Uh, in her defense, shes right. I am stronger. I would destroy you.
(They start to fight with Ross pulling on Chandlers ears and Chandler hitting Ross over the head with his carrot.)
Monica: Wait-wait!! Okay, stop it! Stop it! Stop! (Breaks it up.) Now listen, no ones gonna fight in this apartment.
Joey: Hey Monica! (Grabs her and pulls her into the living room.) People came to see a fight, lets give em what they came for!
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Rachel: Well, that-thats not your choice. Happy Halloween!
Monica: (To Chandler) Look honey, you dont have to do this, okay? Its the strength you have inside that means the most to me. Youre loyal, youre honest, and you have integrity! Thats the kind of strength that I want in the man that I love!
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe is exiting Monica and Chandlers, and finds Ursula standing in the hallway smoking.]
Phoebe: Yknow the only reason hes marrying you is because he thinks all the things you were saying about yourself were true.
Ursula: Yeah, its a fine line huh?
Ursula: (waving the cigarette in Phoebes face) Its a filthy, disgusting habit and I want you to quit now!
Eric: Shes helped so many people to quit smoking.
Joey: (entering) Pheebs come on! Bunny vs. Doody! Were waiting! (They go inside.) (To Chandler and Ross.) Okay. Okay guys, one match, winner take all. (They grasp each others hand in preparation for battle.) Oh wait-wait! What does the winner get?
(They start wrestling, only they are unable to move either ones arm despite a huge strain on their faces and a cheering crowd.)
[Time Lapse: the crowd has left and only Mona, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are still watching to see who will be able to move the others arm first. An event that has yet to happen.]
Monica: Chandlers making his sex face.
(Basically Chandlers face looks like hes not all there and is staring off into the distance )
Ross: Look this is starting to look really bad for me. Okay? Mona, Monas standing right over there. (Looks behind him.) Oh God, shes talking to Joey! You gotta let me win!
Ross: Come on, who are we kidding? Im doody. Please? Shes watchin.
Eric: I think well be okay. Besides its so perfect and (whispering) shes been saving herself for me.
Phoebe: Okay I cant let you do this! Shes lying to you.
Phoebe: She is lying! And I bet I can prove it. Excuse me. (She grabs Ursulas purse and starts going through it and finds some papers.) Okay. Okay. YeahNot a prayer chain, but what looks like a detailed drawing of a bank floor plan. (Holds up her nametag.) Okay, heres the nametag from the restaurant where she works as a waitress! Not a teacher, a waitress. All right, heres her driver license, this oughta be good, she always lies about this. How old did she say she was?
Eric: I am so stupid. Of course she was lying! Shes not a teacher. Theres not such a thing as the top secret elementary school for the children of spies.
Phoebe: Thats good, you should be impulsive and you should be romantic. Just you did it with the wrong person. (He looks at her.) What?
Eric: Its just so weird, two people look so much alike, and so different.
Ursula: (yelling from downstairs) Eric!! Lets go!!
(Phoebe hands Eric Ursulas purse and he walks away.)
Joey: Thats not so bad.
Rachel: Really? You think thats all it is?
Ross: Oh. Yeah. (Sarcastically) Uh Chandler let me win. No, Chandlers really strong. Oh my arm is so sore. Oh nurse! (Waddles over to Mona.)
Chandler: Oh whats the matter? Are you scared?
Monica: Lets go big bunny!
Chandler: Okay. 1 2 3Go! (Once again hes at a stalemate, but this time hes in pain.) (Pause) Im gonna kill myself!
Joey: (pause) Hows that going?
[Scene: The beach house, its still raining. Chandler is building a sand castle, Rachel is doing Monicas nails, and theyre all drinking margaritas, obviously bored.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are preparing for Rachels baby shower.]
(They kiss and both put their hands on the others face like Jessica would do.)
Voice: What is the name of your roommate who is very, very sorry and would do anything (Joey realizes its Chandler and hangs up the phone in anger.)
Joey: No, no, no, no! Hes fine! Look, look, look! (picks up the ball) Heres your ball! Get your ball! Get your ball! (he throws the ball and it bounces right next to the dog) Get your ball! My God, what have I done to you, huh? I broke the dog! Pheebs, I broke the dog!
Gunther: Its all right. Sweetheart.
Rachel: Chandler gets it! Its Chandler Bing!
[cut to inside Central Perk, we see Ross quietly tapping on the window, desperately trying to get the gangs attention, while Tommy is still screaming at him]
Mr. Douglas: I see. I guess you never really know whats goin on inside a persons head.
Ross: Thats right good things, that-that is what I said. (glances at Monica)
Joey: Sure, its hard to forget! But that doesnt mean you have to talk about it! A lot of things happened on that trip that we should never, (to Chandler) ever talk about.
Rachel: Ohh! Thats so great!
Chandler: So Rachels all moved out huh? How are you taking it?
Joey: Look its not that bad. So what, it blocks a little of your door, a little of my door.
Monica: I missed this apartment! Now, this is a grown-ups apartment! Yknow, I-I should be with a grown-up, do you know what I mean?!
Chandler: Hey, you know what you can do? I remember reading about this director, I think it was Orson Wells, who at the beginning of the movie would hire somebody, just so he could fire them in front of everybody. Then they would all know, whos boss.
Emily: Oh. (Shes shocked and hugs him.) Thank you. (She boards the plane.)
Ross: Oh yknow, I stillI cant believe it. Joey and Rachel I mean its Its like you and me going out, only weirder!
Chandler: Okay, now lets decide who has the nicest ass.
Joey: Just because she went to Yale drama, she thinks shes like the greatest actress since, since, sliced bread!
Phoebe: Thats weird.
Monica: Thats right. Thats right. And that is why you cant stay here tonight. And probably why you shouldnt come to the wedding.
Rachel: Thats weird, she locked the door.
[cut to Monica telling the gang about what happened at Petes]
(The rest of the gang runs away, except for Ross whos tramped inside his car. To hide he puts the top up as Monica, Rachel, and Joey come running past.)
Rachel: Oh yknow what honey? Lets not talk about that right now?
Ross: Look, you guys I just wanna say, I really, really appreciate you spending this time with me. Its been a pretty hard time right now, so I just wanna say thanks.
Phoebe: YOU DID NOT!!!! Oh! No! You came up with Relaxi Cab! Thats not good.
Phoebe: Oh no, it is forbidden! No-no, Mrs. Potter fires people for fooling around with clients. And its against my oath as a masseuse.
Chandler: Janice I didnt even know you were pregnant! Whos the unwitting human whos essence youve stolen?
Chandler: No, actually Lauries a boy.
Monica: Umm. Well, theres Rachel, and umm, I think thats it. How bout you?
Rachels Boss: Now Mr. Kaplan Sr. likes his coffee strong, so your gonna use two bags instead of one, see. Now pay attention, cause this parts tricky, see some people use filters just once.
Ross: Yeah, but when the baby comes shes gonna want to move.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, hes still trying to figure out what to make Monica.]
Joey: No-no, its uh, its Heston.
Joey: Wh-whats going on?
Ross: Huh? Oh-oh, it was fine. Uh, it was just a misunderstanding. She didnt want me to go with her. She just wanted to let me know that shes going to Florida for spring vacation.
Rachel: Tommyyyy! Say, whats your favourite thing about summer?
Rachel: Beefsteak Charlies?
Joey: Spocks birth control.
Ross: Oh, it looks like mom and dads house. Oh, it even has a tree with a broken limb out front and the uh, the window in the attic is Oh my God!!
Monica: Whats the matter?
Chandler: Monicas gotta have the phone in the right place and(Frantic babbling.)
The Dry Cleaner: Thats my wife!!! Get out! (Starts yelling at him in Russian, and Im betting hes not saying pleasant things about him.)
Ross: Good! Thats good!
Rachel: No I know, because to be a grandmother you have to be married and have children and I dont have any of those things. Thats why its so funny. (Runs into her room crying.)
Phoebe: No, no, thats the ghost for the attic.
Phoebe: And also, we dont know what to do with this. (She turns on a switch and the girls nipples light up.)
Rachel: Okay, two things didnt happen. Remember I told you that someone made out with Ralph Lauren in the copy room? Well, it turns out thats not true.
Ross: And thats funny, why?
Rachel: Oh but Joey, I have to go. Theres no room for a baby here.
Chandler: Now, theres two reasons.
Joey: Uhhhh. (Hes not sure)
Joey: Check it out, hes winning! (to Monica) Petes winning!
Monica: Okay, lets start with the free messages outside the UN.
Rachel: No, yknow what? Its gonna be okay. I mean you dont have to have this rustic Italian feast. Yknow? And-and you dont need, you dont need this custom-made, empire waisted, duchess, satin gown; you can wear off the rack. (She starts to cry, as does Monica.)
Chandler: Well, I was trying to prove that I was right. Yknow? And it turns out I was wrong. And now its lodged in my throat. (Mimics a cat trying to cough up a hairball.) (He does it again.)
Ross: Okay, its second down. (turns away) Take all the second downs you need.
Monica: (seeing her) Okay, lets go!! Lets hit the road!!
Phoebe: Yeah, its in the guys apartment under the sink. Why?
Frank: So wait, whats the deal here, I can have sex with you, but I cant touch you?
Phoebe: Oh heres a whole bunch.
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! I just talked to the casting people; they loved you!
Phoebe: Well okay, its already February and Ive only given two massages and they were both the worst tippers in the world!
Dina: Thanks so much for meetin with me. Joeys told me so much about you!
Chandler: I always thought having a heart attack was natures way of telling you to die! (Phoebe glares at him.) But youre not gonna die. I mean, you are going to die, but youre not gonna die today. I wish I was dead.
Joey: No, its just my luggage.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross has just finished putting Ben to sleep, and is entering from Rachels room.]
Phoebe: Its mostly just photographs of lesbian love scenes interspersed with video games and free sandwiches.
Joey: Chandler. Will you see if your mom can give my resume to Dennis Phillips? Cause if I can get in a Broadway show then I wouldve done it all, film, television, and theater. The only think left would be radio, and thats just for ugly people.
Ross: Hey! Its starting to snow.
Phoebe: Well my guy is spectacular. Okay? Hes a massage client and one time umm, when he was on the table, I looked at it. And I mean all of it.
Joey: All right, Ill take a box of the cream filled Jesuss.
Joey: Uh, Pheebs we kinda need you to drive us all up there in your grandmothers cab, but y'know what, Ill stay.
Rachel: (handing him the letter) Its just some things Ive been thinking about. Some things about us, and before we can even think about the two of us getting back together, I just need to know how you feel about this stuff.
[Cut to the hall, Joeys sister runs up and grabs Chandlers butt.]
[Scene: Chandlers office, Chandler is confronting his boss about the butt smacking thing. His boss is writing on a white board.]
Ross: Maybe its a universal thing?
Monica: Lets get the show on it!
Joey: Its All Relative.
Phoebe: Whats block?
Chandler: Yeah, I know, I-I wish I had too, but yknow I-I think this is a good thing. Y'know? Cause weve had our first fight, and now we can move on. Yknow, I know for me(Notices a pair of mens pants on the chair.) Nicks pants?
Chandler: Im in the bathroom, can you come in here? I think theres something wrong.
[Scene: Phoebes, Frank is melting a plastic spoon.]
Ross: Ive said it! Okay?! But its over Joey!
Joey: Hey, no way, that roosters family!
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are showing everyone the van they bought for the catering business. Its an old Dodge van, that has a cartoon woman riding on a dragon painted on the side of it.]
Friend No. 2: Rachel! Rachel! (stirs Rachel from her dream, shes in her car driving back from the city)
Joey: Uhh, look, your eyes still popping out a little, Im gonna go get some ice.
Paul: Hi! Hi. (Hes looking around.) I think I left my keys here somewhere.
Ross: I dunno, maybe its because youre really sarcastic. Or maybe its cause you uh-
Monica: Maybe. I just hope she realizes how hard its gonna be.
Mrs. Geller: This is your grandmothers engagement ring, I want you to give it to Rachel.
Ross: (to Monica and Rachel) Its winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)
Written by: Michael Curtis & Gregory S. Malins Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Rachel: Oh! Yay! Look! Theres a piece that doesnt have floor on it!
[Scene: Backstage at Joeys play, Joey is arriving, late.]
Ross: Besides, theres a big age difference.