words in movies
Monica: I know its last minute, but we decided to have a Halloween party.
Phoebe: Oh good! (And theres general excitement.)
Monica: And everybody has to wear costumes. (And theres general disconcertment.) Come on! Itll be fun!
Ross: Thats right! He was hitting on her, and I got her. I guess the better man won. (To Joey) Please dont take her from me.
Phoebe: Ursula! (Ursula turns, smiles, and continues walking.) Wait! Err-err, its me! Phoebe!
Phoebe: Wait a second! So, whats new with you?
Ursula: Yeah! Yeah, its gonna be a small ceremony. Just family. (Phoebe looks at her.) His.
Phoebe: By the way, its a costume party.
Ursula: Oh! Okay, so thats why youre (Motions to what shes wearing.)
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Phoebe: No, its me. Phoebe!
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Monica: What?! Theres only been like four kids.
Ross: (entering) Hey! (Hes wearing a costume as well.)
Ross: Remember the Russian satellite, Sputnik? (They all look at him.) Well, Im a potato or a spud. And these are my antennae. (Points to the colander with an old TV antenna glued on top that hes wearing.) So Sputnik, becomes (Theyre still confused) Spud-nik. Spudnik!
Phoebe: Ursulas fianc�e?
Eric: Okay, I just slapped my future sister-in-laws ass.
Phoebe: No-no! Thats okay, well just start over. Okay? Hi! Im Phoebe.
Eric: Eric. (They shake hands and hes squinting. And, no, its not me.)
Eric: Cause the sweats getting in my eyes and its burning.
Eric: I dont think they have a name for it. Its just I get nervous; I start sweating like crazy.
Eric: Oh umm, Im the solar system. (Hes wearing a black sweater with the planets glued on around the sun.) Yeah, my students helped me make itI teach the second grade.
Phoebe: Yeah! Its so much better than first grade when you dont know whats going on and definitely better than third grade. Yknow with all the politics and mind games.
Eric: Oh I feel very lucky, shes great. I think shes the most beautiful woman Ive ever seen.
Joey: Are you kiddin? Phoebe lived on the street. Okay? Plus, shes got this crazy temper. SheShes not standing right behind me is she?
Phoebe: (walking over) Hey. Ursulas fianc�e is really sweet! Hes a teacher, he does all this volunteer work. Yknow normally yknow, I dont like really sweaty guys. But this one? I could just mop him up!
Monica: Youre getting a crush on your sisters fianc�e.
(Theres a knock on the door and Rachel opens it to a little girl.)
Rachel: Okay, whats your name?
Chandler: Joeys gonna be thrilled! He was hoping youd come by as a slutty nurse.
Joey: Okay, heres a good one for ya. Who do think would win in a fight between Ross and Chandler.
Monica: I cant answer that! Chandlers my husband.
Phoebe: Two weeks? Thats it?
Eric: Yeah, I know it sounds crazy, and its not like me to do something so impulsive, but shes just so perfect, and we have so much in common.
Ross: Thats funny. Yeah. Yknow youre the funniest man here in a pink bunny costume his wife made him wear.
Chandler: Theres no question.
Monica: Ross is really strong! Okay, hes the strongest out of all three of you! (Joey looks at her.) Except for Joey.
Ross: Uh, in her defense, shes right. I am stronger. I would destroy you.
(They start to fight with Ross pulling on Chandlers ears and Chandler hitting Ross over the head with his carrot.)
Monica: Wait-wait!! Okay, stop it! Stop it! Stop! (Breaks it up.) Now listen, no ones gonna fight in this apartment.
Joey: Hey Monica! (Grabs her and pulls her into the living room.) People came to see a fight, lets give em what they came for!
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Rachel: Well, that-thats not your choice. Happy Halloween!
Monica: (To Chandler) Look honey, you dont have to do this, okay? Its the strength you have inside that means the most to me. Youre loyal, youre honest, and you have integrity! Thats the kind of strength that I want in the man that I love!
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe is exiting Monica and Chandlers, and finds Ursula standing in the hallway smoking.]
Phoebe: Yknow the only reason hes marrying you is because he thinks all the things you were saying about yourself were true.
Ursula: Yeah, its a fine line huh?
Ursula: (waving the cigarette in Phoebes face) Its a filthy, disgusting habit and I want you to quit now!
Eric: Shes helped so many people to quit smoking.
Joey: (entering) Pheebs come on! Bunny vs. Doody! Were waiting! (They go inside.) (To Chandler and Ross.) Okay. Okay guys, one match, winner take all. (They grasp each others hand in preparation for battle.) Oh wait-wait! What does the winner get?
(They start wrestling, only they are unable to move either ones arm despite a huge strain on their faces and a cheering crowd.)
[Time Lapse: the crowd has left and only Mona, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are still watching to see who will be able to move the others arm first. An event that has yet to happen.]
Monica: Chandlers making his sex face.
(Basically Chandlers face looks like hes not all there and is staring off into the distance )
Ross: Look this is starting to look really bad for me. Okay? Mona, Monas standing right over there. (Looks behind him.) Oh God, shes talking to Joey! You gotta let me win!
Ross: Come on, who are we kidding? Im doody. Please? Shes watchin.
Eric: I think well be okay. Besides its so perfect and (whispering) shes been saving herself for me.
Phoebe: Okay I cant let you do this! Shes lying to you.
Phoebe: She is lying! And I bet I can prove it. Excuse me. (She grabs Ursulas purse and starts going through it and finds some papers.) Okay. Okay. YeahNot a prayer chain, but what looks like a detailed drawing of a bank floor plan. (Holds up her nametag.) Okay, heres the nametag from the restaurant where she works as a waitress! Not a teacher, a waitress. All right, heres her driver license, this oughta be good, she always lies about this. How old did she say she was?
Eric: I am so stupid. Of course she was lying! Shes not a teacher. Theres not such a thing as the top secret elementary school for the children of spies.
Phoebe: Thats good, you should be impulsive and you should be romantic. Just you did it with the wrong person. (He looks at her.) What?
Eric: Its just so weird, two people look so much alike, and so different.
Ursula: (yelling from downstairs) Eric!! Lets go!!
(Phoebe hands Eric Ursulas purse and he walks away.)
Joey: Thats not so bad.
Rachel: Really? You think thats all it is?
Ross: Oh. Yeah. (Sarcastically) Uh Chandler let me win. No, Chandlers really strong. Oh my arm is so sore. Oh nurse! (Waddles over to Mona.)
Chandler: Oh whats the matter? Are you scared?
Monica: Lets go big bunny!
Chandler: Okay. 1 2 3Go! (Once again hes at a stalemate, but this time hes in pain.) (Pause) Im gonna kill myself!
Ross: All right, thats it! (He runs over to Ben, but he runs past him and out the door.) Comeyouno! You are in big trouble young man!
Rachel: Oh no! No! No-no-no-no! No, I mean come on thats-thats crazyI mean thats crazy. So whats-whats going on with you? What is going on with you?
Janice: Oh! Youre right. Oh God. But, before I can say good-bye, theres something I really need you to know, Chandler. The way I feel about you, its like, I finally understand what Lionel Richies been singing about. Y'know, I mean what we have, its like movie love, youre my soulmate, and I cant believe were not going to be spending the rest of our lives together.
Ross: What? (She takes the sign off and hands it to him.) Thats great. That is great. (Crumples up the paper and throws it down in anger.) What did we just finish talking about Ben?!
Mark: Oh, hi. Its Mark.
Joey: But its $2,000.
Ross: Whats up?
(they go into Monica and Rachels, and see Phoebe hopping around.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at the counter waiting for Gunther, yep Gunthers back, to refill her coffee.]
Chandler: Oh, its okay. I dont
Chandler: I can see why thats hard to resist.
Rachel: Oh no-no-no, no-no-no, thats not what I meant.
Ross: Its not something you are! Its something you have!
Monica: Heres your tea Phoebe. (They give it to her and quickly take a step back.)
Joey: Thats us.
Joey: Thats right, $2,000.
Emily: But, we cant go now. It looks like Rachels gonna put on a skit.
Joey: Okay, but lets say there was. How might that go?
Phoebe: Wow! Thats so great! Oh! Oh! Cougar.
Chandler: (To Joey) In a minute? Whats gonna happen in a minute?!
Ross: Yes thats right.
Monica: Okay everybody, lets go! Lets go!
Monica: (faking joy. Rubbing her stomach and smiling at the same time, like Joey said) Mmmm! Its good!
Monica: Yknow what, lets do the catering business.
(There is a knock on Rachel and Phoebes door.)
Ross: No, Susans gonna be there too. Weve got dads, weve got lesbians, the whole parenting team.
[Cut to Carol and Susans apartment, from next weeks episode Rachel is talking to Ben.]
Phoebe: Whats a Movement class?
Rachel: Yeah thats right! Come on Joey; sex me up!
Monica: Oh well, its not so bad.
Chandler: Hows your room Rach?
Monica: Joey! Hes working! (To Chandler) You would look good in that.
[Scene: Monica and Joeys, Monica is cooking.]
Monica: Right. Umm, listen since were-we-re on that subject, umm, I just wanted to tell you that uh, well, I-I was going through a really hard time in London, what with my brother getting married and that guy thinking I was Rosss mother
Ross: We got honourable mention in the brother/sister dance category! Look, its almost fake midnight, do we really have any other choice?
Monica: Honey! Dinners ready!
Phoebe: Whats that smell?
Elizabeth: Ohh thats so sweet!
Fat Joey: Whats my little chef got for me tonight?
[Cut to Joeys, hes on the phone.]
Rachel: Thats a line from the show too!
Rachel: Oh my God! I bet thats him. My digital fairy tale is about to begin. I wonder how I should be? Should I be uh (In a sexy voice) Hello? Or should I be (Happily) Hi! Its Rach (Phoebe knocks the phone out of Rachels hand, catches it, and answers it.) Would you stop doing that?!
Monica: Yep! And lots of it!
Chandler: No. No, not at all, thats-thats ridiculous.
Mans Voice: Were still rolling!
Joey: What? No-no its her birthday!
Phoebe: No, I know, I know, that this is Franks life, (walks behind them, they turn around in the leather chairs to face her) y'know. Y'know, I dont want to be all judgmental, y'know, but this is sick, its sick and wrong!
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, thats notNo-no-no!
Rachel: I love it at Joeys!
Rachel: Its not dumb. But, maybe its okay that youre not a part of it. Y'know what I mean? (Ross looks confused) I mean its like, I-I-I like that youre not involved in that part of my life.
Phoebe: Now, its you little bunny friend. (She sticks it in Rachels face and they both laugh.)
Rachel: Hes got this thing. And I keep telling him to go to my chiropractor...
Phoebe Sr: Oh, thats okay, it gave me time to finish glazing my nipples.
[Scene: Chandlers office, Chandler is bent over getting some water as his boss approaches.]
Monica: Oh, this terrible! Everything is destroyed! Look at this. (She picks up some kind of furry thing.) It obviously meant enough for me to save it, and I dont even know what it is! Ohh, its still soft. (She rubs it against her cheek.) What do you think this is?
Monica: Whats the charity?
Phoebe: Cause thats just your taste.
Chandler: And yet, shes still not hanging up the phone.
Ross: Well I-I-I dont care how hot it is its-its uh, its wrong.
Phoebe: Have you seen your guys body?
Chandler: Thats still in there?!
Ross: We had such a great time! Shes-shes incredible! I thought the-the age difference might be a problem, but it wasnt. It wasnt at all. Elizabeth is very mature for her age. (Joey makes the international sign for big boobies.) (To Monica) A concept lost on some people!
Phoebe (doing Estelle): Joey, it’s Estelle.
Joshua: Youre into hardcore S&M right?
[Scene: Rosss office, hes opening the door to Elizabeth.]
Rachel: Well Joey, uhm look, I know that she’s difficult, but I think it’s really good that she’s here.
Ross: That! Lets talk about that.
Ross: Whats-whats the difference?
(She walks over behind the coat rack, but Joey picks it up and moves it so that hes still behind it, and she cant see him.)
Rachel: I know isnt it? Its like Im right there with Joshua.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey! Whats up? (Sees the TV) Oh my God! What am I doing?!!
Phoebe: Ohh! Okay! Okay, cause when-when he said, "I cant wait to hear your first words," I thought, "Theres a trick."
(Chandler sticks out is tongue and its a horrible shade of green.)
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, lets talk it out.
Chandler: Was his question whats more boring than him?
Joey: Yeah that really calms me down. And! We have so much in common! She loves sandwiches, sports, although she is a Met fan, not much of an issue now but if were ever to have kids, well thats a
Monica: Hes great! I mean we have such a good time together! Hes so funny, and sooo sweet, and Im not attracted to him at all!!
Joey: Thats right! I helped you guys out a lot in the start of your relationship. Huh? I helped you guys sneak around for like six months, and I looked like an idiot! And I was humiliated. And I only made 200 dollars!
Joey: Come on man theres gotta be something that gets you choked up! Like uh, uh oh, what if you saw a three-legged puppy?
Chandler: Yes, God forbid we throw out old underwear. You-you know what? Im going to go over to Joeys.
Chandler: (To Joey) So uh, whats this thing youre auditioning for?
Emily: (Giggles.) Ohh...(She realizes that shes in her gown.) Oh! You were not meant to see me before the wedding. Its bad luck.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, they are both getting undressed.]
Chandler: Oh thats great!
Ross: Its your turn.
Joey: Well, there are so many things, its hard to pick just one.
Phoebe: Eh, better her than me! Hey, lets bake cookies!
[Scene: Dr. Burkes office, Rachel and Monica are waiting as the doctor arrives.]
Rachel: I mean thats unbelievable.
[Scene: Rachels Old Bedroom, Continued from earlier. Monica enters the room.]
Chandler: Well, stuff like whered we live, yknow? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Yknow, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, wed have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.
Joey: I dont know! But its the same!
Joey: What?!! Thats even worse!!
Rachel: (seeing Ross and Bonnie inside Central Perk) Oh my God! Phoebe look, its Ross and that girl.
[Cut back to Joey and Rachels apartment.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its the middle of the night. Joey is walking into the living room, and runs into the entertainment centre.]
Ross: Well, you shouldve seen the guy that she used to go out with. I mean, hes like Joe Rugby.
Rachel: Already? Thats pretty bad what you did.
Rachel: Im sure he will forgive you. Look, we have all been there! Yknow, you fight, you make up, its just the way it works.
(Ursula Buffay, Phoebes identical twin sister, is waiting on tables in her inimitable manner.)