words in movies
Joey: YeahHey, dont worry, shes a terrific girl. And hey listen, could you do me a favor? When she comes out could you just mention that Im not looking for a serious relationship; thatd be great.
Rachel: Yknow what? Thats a lot to remember, cant I just tell her youre a pig?
Joeys Date: Hi!
Joeys Date: Sorry about that, but I couldnt get that lock to work on the door.
Joeys Date: You must be Rachel, Im Erin.
[Scene: N.Y.Us University Library, Ross is entering with Chandler.]
Ross: Okay, okay, I was typing names into the library computer earlier, yknow-yknow for fun, and I typed mine in and guess what came up? My doctoral dissertation! Its here! Yeah, its right-its right down here! In the biggest library in the university! (They start heading that way, towards a secluded section behind the racks.)
Chandler: Wow thats actually pretty cool.
Ross: (stopping quickly) Oh umm, theres also a book here by a woman named Wendy Bagina. (They both laugh, but stop when the hear moaning coming from the next aisle.) What is that?
(They go around the last row of bookshelves and find a couple doing what college coeds do in secluded corners of university libraries. For those of you who dont know what Im talking about, lets just say that clothing is undone. Ross gasps and the couple gets up and runs away.)
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant Kitchen, Monica is cooking as a waitress enters carrying a plate of food that has been sent back.]
The Waitress: She says its to dry now and she wants to come back here and explain to you exactly how she wants it.
The Colonel: OH MY GAWD!!!! (Yep, its Janice.)
Monica: (to the lobster) Lucky bastard! (Throws the lobster in and turns around to face the planets most annoying woman, next to Dr. Laura and Kathy Lee Gifford of course. Shes the most annoying female TV character however.) Janice.
Janice: (notices Monicas engagement ring) Ohh! What is that on your finger?! Im blind!
Janice: So, whos the lucky guy?
[Cut to Monica and Chandlers just after Monica has finished telling Chandler what happened.]
Chandler: Lie!!! How hard is that?! The checks in the mail! Oh your baby is so cute! I cant wait to read your book Ross!!
Chandler: What do you think shes just gonna sit there quietly? You dont think shes gonna want to make a toast? You dont think shes gonna want to grab the microphone and sing Part-time Lover?!
Monica: Oh my God, shes not gonna like the chicken that night either is she?!
Chandler: Yknow what? Its gonna be okay. Yknow what? Shes probably not gonna even want to come.
Joey: Hey! Whats up?
Joey: Hey-hey, whos your friend? (Erin turns around to face Joey, startling him) Hey!!
Joey: Why wouldnt ya? Erin is great! Then-then theres you guys.
Phoebe: Joey, shes so cool. She speaks four languages.
Rachel: Look Joey, come on shes so perfect for you! I mean shes sweet, she-she likes baseball, and she-she had two beers at lunch.
Joey: My beers?! Look you guys, shes a very nice girl. Okay? We had a good time, but I justI dont see it going anywhere.
Joey: Hey, dont start judging me! (To Rachel) Huh? Youre the one whos in love with her assistant! (To Phoebe) Huh? And you, youre the one having the affair with the guy who keeps the pigeons on the roof!
Ross: Great! Because people kept showing up, I think its like uh-a thing!
Rachel: Well now whats the rush?
Rachel: Well look whos here!
Erin: Whats wrong?
Joey: Whos birthday party?
Phoebe and Rachel: Allisons birthday party.
Phoebe and Rachel: 32. (Joeys not buying it.)
Joey: Yeah that really calms me down. And! We have so much in common! She loves sandwiches, sports, although she is a Met fan, not much of an issue now but if were ever to have kids, well thats a
Janice: Oh, what are you, stupid? Its been three hours.
Chandler: Well actually uh, there was something we wanted to tell you about the wedding. Um, its going to be a small ceremony. Uh, tiny! Were not even sure why were having it.
Monica: Its actually going to be just family.
Rachel: So hows it goin with Joey?
Erin: Look, hes a really great guy and I know that you really want this to work out, but I just dont see this having a future.
Erin: Im sorry I Its just theres no real spark.
Phoebe: Yeah, and maybe that youre a real (She says something in Italian, and it doesnt matter what she said. Its not important so I dont need everyone who speaks Italian telling me what she said.)
Erin: Yeah, lets go.
[Scene: The librarys Paleontology section, Ross is patrolling as a couple walks up.]
Ross: Oh-oh, youre-youre fellow scholars. What exactly were you looking for, hmm? Perhaps, (Grabs a book from the shelf behind him) perhaps Dr. Chester Stocks musings on the Smiledon Californicus?
Ross: Ah Ah Get out of here! (The couple retreats. Ross starts looking through the previously mentioned book as a beautiful woman walks into the section.) Uh, meeting someone? Or-or are you just here to brush up on Marions views on evolution?
Woman: Uh, actually I find Marions views far to progressionist.
Ross: I find Marions views far to progressionist.
Woman: Ross Geller, why do I know that name? Its uhWait! (Grabs his book off of the shelf.) Did you write this?
Joey: No-no-no-no-no! Its a surprise, but its gonna be tricky thought because she said she was gonna be pretty busy at work for a while.
Rachel: Jo-Joey, look honey we-we need to talk okay? Umm, I kinda got the feeling from her today that uh, shes not lookin for a serious relationship.
Rachel: Well, she told me. She said shes kinda a loner.
Joey: No hey Rach, its cool okay? Yknow Im a loner too! (Heads for his room.) Right?
(Theres a knock on the door and Janice enters.)
Janice: Please, its because otherwise I really dont know what I might do.
Janice: Okay, Im going to need a comforter, but did you have a hypoallergenic one because otherwise I get very nasal. (Makes some weird sound) Do you have a cat? Cause its already happening. (Makes a nasal sound) Do you hear that? (She keeps making the nasal sound.)
Monica: Thats right. Thats right. And that is why you cant stay here tonight. And probably why you shouldnt come to the wedding.
[Scene: The librarys Paleontology section, Ross is on patrol and stops a security guard through the stack of books.]
Ross: (to the guard) Dont sweat it, Ive got this section covered. Yeah, in fact Ive got this little baby (Turns on a mini-flashlight) to shine in peoples eye(The guard walks away)Okay, see you later.
Mr. Waltham: Well theres one (pointing towards Jack) and theres another (pointing towards Judy).
Ross: Its mine.
Monica: Damnit! Damnit!! Heres your fifty bucks! (Pays Phoebe.)
Monica: Well, thats okay dad, we-we can wait until later.
[Scene: Chandlers Office Building, Chandler is walking by the elevators and sees Bob standing there.]
[Scene: Rachels Room, Monica is entering.]
Chandler: Joey, you have to tell her whats going on! And what did it look like?!
(Theres a knock on the door and the Nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Ginger: Its okay if it bothers you. Really. I mean the only thing I need to know is: How much it bothers you? because I dont like wasting my time. Am I wasting my time?
Rachel: Shes perfect.
[Scene: Rachels Hospital Room, Ross is sitting next to Rachel.]
Joey: Hey so wheres Ross?
Monica: (to Ross) Honey, its not pushy, he gave her his home number.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Phoebe, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are watching Emma sleep.]
Phoebe: You know thats thats her.
Chandler: (not knowing what hes saying yes to) Yes.
(Chandler smiles and nods then realizes what hes agreed to.)
Rachel: Ugh, those bastards! Lets go.
Chandler: We cant do that thats insane. I mean A he could wake up and B yknow, lets go for it.
Rachel: Yes okay. (Checking the speed dial again.) Well now see this isnt telling us anything. (Reading the speed dial) Joe. Carlos. Peter. Ooh! Peter Luger! T hats a steak house!
Phoebe: Yeah, okay lets leave these two alone.
Ross: Actually that-thats not true, in The Incredible Hulk uh, No. 72, Dr. Bruce Banner found (Sees everyone staring at him and stops.) Yknow, ugh, nevermind, my girlfriends a lesbian. (Leaves.)
Monica: Okay. Could the waiters gather around to hear tonights specials? Okay, first there is a Chilean Sea Bass prepared with a Mango relish on a bagWhy is nobody writing these down?
Monica: I know, thats why I said again!
Monica: Okay whats up
Monica: Whats going on?
Chandler: (sarcastically shocked) Really?! Joe? What would you do if you were in Rosss situation?
[Scene: Ms. McKennas Office, Chandler enters.]
Ross: Oh! Oh! Shes upside down but shes coming! Shes coming!
Phoebe: No thats what you do when you want to get the truth out of someone.
Phoebe: Hes miserable! What happened to him?
Will: Thats right, The I Hate Rachel Green Club!
[The next one is from Episode 608: The One With Rosss Teeth, Chandler is accusing Joey of becoming less of a man.]
Ross: Yeah thats what she said.
Chandler: Its not a real game! I made it up!
Rachel: Yeah! I dont think youre going to need it though. Okay, check this out. If its a girl, Rain.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Ross enters.]
[And with that, we go into another set of clips, this time from Rachels point of view.]
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Oh yes, one minute please. (To Phoebe) Its for you. Its the fire inspector.
Ross: Well, I tell you what. Why dont we uh, why dont we just stay here? Lets not see a movie, well just hang.
Monica: Thats my old dog. He passed away years ago.
Chandler: Ooh! Yes! Okay! Heres what we do, we-we forget it happened.
Joey: I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Yknow it wouldnt kill ya to respect your wifes privacy! (He walks away and into his apartment and looks the door.) Stupid closet full of bugs!
Ross: Ooh. What is the name of Chandlers fathers Las Vegas all-male burlesque?
Ross: Rach, come on, if you think about it, its actually kinda funny. (He laughs, and he laughs alone.) Okay, maybe its best not to think about it.
Chandler: Thats funny, I saw no phlegm.
Chandler: Should we tell Rachel theres an empty private room right next door to hers?
Mr. Heckles: I could be Chandlers new roommate.
Ross: Its a car Monica! Not a rocket ship!
Rachel: Thanks. (Crying) God this is so stupid! (Pause) How could I be upset over something I never had? Its negative?
Phoebe: (still reading the label) Oh my God! This is a six-hour pill! (Checks her watch) Thats it! Im out of the woods! Ohh! What a relief!
Rachel: Theyre having their baby! Its not fair Ross we got here first! Right after you left they wheeled her off into delivery. Oh but not before she gave me a juicy shot of little Jamie just crowning away.
(Ross resumes playing, this time accompanied by Phoebe screeching out Es in tune with Ross. While Phoebe is singing along, Rachel is having a very difficult time keeping a straight face. Thankfully, Ross gives up after a little while.)
Phoebe: Its negative.
Joey: What the hells the matter with you?! This is my favourite jersey.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is getting ready to go to Joeys premiere and Phoebe is still on hold.]
Rachel: No! No, shesShe was nice. I mean, shes a little slutty, but who isnt?
Rachel: Oh thank god, if Phoebe�s going, can we please take Emma home?
Ross: No! No, come on let her sleep! Shes so exhausted.
Ross: Oh yeah its fine. I guess the more muscles you have the more they can spasim out of control.
Monica: Yeah! (They turn to the camera, and Chandler does The Face again.) All right, maybe you dont have to smile. Lets try something else. Lets try umm, try looking sexy.
Bob: I just found out this is Chandlers office! Come on Toby, give me a hand!
Rachel: Well, sure, but they might think its kinda weird considering I dont work there anymore.
Joey: Thursday? But that�s Halloween.
Rachel: Um, Mon, Chandler�s not here.
Ross: Its possible, they have really sharp edges.
Ken: That�s not true. If you don�t wanna smoke �
(They start wrestling, only they are unable to move either ones arm despite a huge strain on their faces and a cheering crowd.)
Emily: I left a bra drying on the shower rod, you dont think your son will think its yours and be horribly traumatised?
Joey: Well, suppose until the babys born I laid off it. No extra animals would die, you-youd just be eating my animals.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel�s. Ross phones, Rachel and Emma are there.]
[Cut to Joey and Rachels, Joey enters and heads for his bedroom. He pushes open the door to find the duck.]
Phoebe: Now I know that they said that the umm, the hair straightener started the fire but I think Im partly at fault. You see, I didnt, I didnt tell you but umm, but I-I had recently refilled the tissues and so yknow lets just face it, thats just kindling! So I think its better that I stay at Joeys.
Monica: Its frightening.
Monica: How can you smoke in this day of age? Do you not seen that ad with a little kid walks to grandpa, it�s chilling.
Joey: Well off the top of my head uhh, maybe shes having her cake and eating it too. You being the cake and Richard being the too. Or!
Phoebe: Rachel, its okay. You dont have to do this. I believe you. All right? Okay, if-if you say that you kissed Melissa, then you kissed Melissa.
[Scene: Outside Ross and Rachel�s.]
Ross: No! No I cant. I mean Rachels out with some guy. My baby went with her. If anything that picture keeps moving further away.
Rachel: I mean I think Id say no to anybody right now. (Hearing this Gunther swoops back to cleaning tables.) Oh, but it was so strange. I mean Im standing there with this charming, cute guy, whos asking me to go out with him, which Im allowed to do, and I felt guilty. Y'know, like Id be cheating on Ross or something.
The Woman: It-its really heavy.
Chandler: Yeah, let�s celebrate life!
Joey: Not a problem. Oh, and just so you know, that guys not going to be bothering you about that baby thing anymore.
Ross: Great. So let�s get going?
Monica: You know what? Let�s not talk.
Mr. Treeger: (coming in from the bathroom) Whoa, hey, that ladys all kinds of naked.
Monica: That�s right, I got mine.
Rachel: Why not? I dont want to do this alone! And hes such a sweet guy and he loves me so much.
Chandler: Yeah, its two guys in a ring, and the rules are: Theyre are no rules.
Joey: Thanks. Thanks, but uh actually its just gonna be me again tonight.
Phoebe: �s a good toast.
Ross: Well, ??? think that�s us?
Joey: Hmm thats weird. I dont remember being in a move called benefits lapsed.
Chandler: What�s the matter with me? Why I�m such a girl?
Phoebe: Of course I can! Its just good sense to backup your backup! Look, Ive already lost Chandler!
Joey: Yeah? I just figured yknow, after living with you itd be an interesting change of pace to have a female roommate, yknow? Someone I can learn from, someone-someone whos different than me. And whats more different than me; a guy whos not 19 than say a girl who is 19? Enh? (Points to his head.) Not just a hat rack my friend!
Joey: That�s the best birthday ever.
Phoebe: (To Joey) Maybe its something you ate?
Woman: No! Its where you put the dirty ones!
Joey: Thats the title! Yeah! Yknow they really lucked out that the initials spell cheese.